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(Thread IKs: sharknado slashfic)
 
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Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~
Hello. I don't really use this account anymore, but I like the vibe of this thread so I'm unghosting a little bit for it. I can't promise all aliens are cool and chill, but I believe the ones I've met are. We wish you good luck and good journeys ahead, and don't let the hater aliens get you down.

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Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~

Barry Foster posted:

How could you post ITT, with THAT avatar, and not say you're "uncloaking"??

Anyway, welcome :unsmith:

Please tell us more about the aliens you have met, if you feel comfortable to do so
You're right. My posting has gotten rusty. :negative: Thank you for the welcome though~

I started working on a post about the beings I've met, but realized it would take me a while to finish (hoping to be able to this weekend), so I wanted to say hello first. I'm looking forward to the UAPs and chats here in the meantime.

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~
(One of them; they can have many forms)

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~
This one with the doggos barking at the jelly is such a good combination of :ohdear: and :3:

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~

thunderspanks posted:

Why would shadow monsters or space jellyfish reveal themselves in highly public areas only to do.. nothing? Just kinda show up for a bit then wander away? Just like the alien equivalent of lovely teenagers who hop into the animal enclosure for a laugh and every decade or two one gets owned by the local population. Maybe humanity is the harambe of the stars
I happened to be searching through the thread for old info related to a post I've been working on, and came across this explanation that should shed some light on your question.

endocriminologist posted:

*flies around in my gay little ufo in a way that makes u irritated*

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~

Victor Vermis posted:

Also the sentient jelly produces a probe/shiv when confronted by a doggo so just keep that in mind before you burn your draft cards for aitee.
I don't blame them at all for coming armed into human territory, that's just good sense.

100 HOGS AGREE posted:

It's at least a 3D object. Could have many more Ds.
Or possibly the 3D projection onto our world from the rest of the aitee's 4D or higher self.

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~
smh at everyone who calls the mummies fake. They just look weird because they were early aitee attempts at making bodies. The 5D aliens picked up a 3D crayon and started practicing with some stick figures just so they could interact with us, and folks mock them for it? Shameful.

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~
I for one welcome our new beautiful tiny mummy overlords.

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~
I managed to finish the post I had previously mentioned about the beings who have visited me. (Content warning- no details, but there are mentions of childhood abuse). It might be a little rough to read and think about, but don't worry about me! I'm getting the help I need with it. I want to share for the benefit of not only myself, but also anyone else who might resonate.
--
I grew up in the suburbs, but they weren't quiet, peaceful ones, at least not for me. The background of abuse that was plaguing me made making friends hard, but I did manage to connect with a couple temporary ones, including a neighbor kid about my age (I think 8 or so when this occurred). On one of those 'endless' summer nights between grade school years, we were playing tag in his back yard. As we were resting between rounds, he suddenly looked very scared of something nearby, but I didn't see anything. He started asking me to go into the garage with him, a hulking old wooden thing that was used as a storage shed. He said he heard something (I didn't) and either wanted to hide or go investigate, but I only would if he came right behind me. It was late at night, and I was already a pretty fearful child.

We eventually summoned up a little courage and peeked within, staring into the pitch dark, stacked like a comedy sketch right on the edge of the doorway. My friend tapped me on the shoulder, startling me, then pointed to a corner of the garage. There was a small red light coming from the corner, like a laser pointer shining at us. As my eyes squinted at then blinked away from it, my refocusing sight picked up something else from a corner adjacent to the one with the light. Or multiple things. There were at least two figures who looked exactly like the "Grays"- thin, clammy-skinned bodies with tiny mouths and enormous eyes, staring directly into mine. I remember little detail about their forms except those depths, which as I think of them now bring to mind black holes. My friend immediately ran away, while I stood there, completely silent and frozen in terror.

Almost everything else after that was repressed, which I am already prone to, due to the other childhood trauma. My brain decided that nothing was ever there. I vaguely remembered the laser pointer thing for a while, but I dismissed it as either a trick of the light, or a trick that my friend played on me. He and I never talked about what we saw, and it actually took years of therapy for me to remember and process even this much.

Another thing I can say for sure is how I acted in the aftermath.

Throughout my child and teenage years, I remember being deeply disturbed any time fictional aliens that looked like my visitors appeared in a movie or something. Hell, while I am much better at emotional regulation today, I still get slightly creeped out and nervous when I look at one. Even if they were obviously fake, back then anything that looked remotely like a stereotypical Gray would have younger-me quickly changing the channel or covering my eyes. I felt too indescribably uncomfortable to tolerate it long. TV aliens that didn't look like Grays were perfectly fine, and I often enjoyed them as a sci fi nerd.

I've grown a lot since then, had many life experiences, learned a wide array of exploration and coping skills, and have access to a good support network. I decided to get to the bottom of the core questions about my past, delving into my memory using all this support alongside powerful entheogenic aids like psilocybin mushrooms, LSD, and Salvia Divinorum. Over the years working with them and coming to accept how differently I've always perceived the world from most people around me, I've met other beings who I call spirits. I sometimes conceive of them as energy beings, patterns of intention and memory contained in the cosmos and its chemicals interacting. But whatever they are, they are thinking things who I can talk to and spend time with. I believe there are many more spirits than just these, ranging in scale from like atoms to galaxies, but they're the ones relevant here because they're some of the most experienced ones at communicating with modern humanity. They've talked to me about what might have happened with the Grays. The spirits seemed to have met them before, or knew them by reputation.

I'll give an example of what they've told me. A couple weeks ago I took a journey with Lady Salvia. What happens when you do so can vary wildly depending on method, dosage, and the whims of the spirits. This time, I took what was intended to be a light dose by chewing on a quid of rehydrated leaves. It was nice and chill at first, with gentle feelings grounded in our reality, rather than the raw, dark, uncompromising Truth from other dimensions that that plant can often reveal. (At least, not at first.) I decided to burn some incense and meditate for a while to thank the earth for everything. As I centered and focused on my breathing, I saw something in a nearby LED light that was flaring oddly. It was like an optical illusion of a distant face was contained in the light, similar to a tiny portal. It was a face I recognized- my guide on these journeys, Lady Salvia's spirit, with the aura around her head flowing and twisting like a moving fractal pattern. To my surprise, she actually wanted to talk to me about the Grays, since I had just been reading about them earlier, and since they were possibly related to the traumatic childhood events we had been exploring on other trips. (Maybe the background fear my friend and I were already feeling is what drew the aitees to us to begin with.)

She spoke to me, but not exactly with words during this trip. It came as a sort of intuition or revelation, or uncovering a buried memory about a past conversation. Maybe implanting a new memory of a conversation that didn't exist before. The divine complexity of it reminds me a bit of this post about dreams, and how ancient people described the difference between dreams that were just subconscious babble, and dreams that were sent by higher powers. In other words, this was a trip that was the former, then became the latter.

She sent me to go find this post, because it also talks a little bit about how they communicate: post

quote:

You can't understand their language. It just sounds like "hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm". I'm positive that we'll never be able to communicate with them in their language. I should mention that these are the "grays" that you hear about, except they aren't gray. They are sort of beige, and it's clothes anyway. They aren't naked. I don't know if there are others. People say there are, but I've only ever met these. Anyway, you cannot understand them but they can understand you. And they can put thoughts into your head but they can't hear your thoughts. You have to speak to them. They cannot hear very well, or else they are not good understanding English so you have to speak loudly and slowly. I don't know if they understand other langauges, but I'm pretty sure they would. They are interested in all of us, in everything that goes on. They like a lot of things about our culture, too. They like some of our music. Bluegrass is their favorite so far as I've seen. They like it a lot. They LOVE that african instrument that looks like a gourd with 13 strings. LOVE IT. But they cannot stand horns or horn music, so they hate classical music and jazz. I think trumpets sort of sound like their language? It's a feeling that I get, but I've never been able to ask them.
As our "conversation" continued, I remembered all the previous times we had communed when certain music had bugged me. I normally love jazzy or orchestral kinds of music, but if I have them on while I'm on Salvia Divinorum, I get extremely annoyed by all the saxophones, trumpets, tubas, etc. I've come to the conclusion that it's really the spirit's annoyance I'm feeling. Through this, she was telling me that while the Grays are not necessarily the same type of being as a powerful ancient plant spirit, they could be using similar methods to interact with human thoughts and emotions. Maybe their methods also suffer disruptions from horn-like sounds.

My experiences were not exactly like this person's, but this description shed light on certain things for me. As a result of this revelation, I suddenly remembered that night in the garage, even though I had been repressing it for literally decades. My easy trip was obliterated, made into Something Else by a higher power. I went beyond the threshold and was briefly back there in the dark, a kid again. Only this time, I had the vast knowledge and support of my guide with me. I recognized the Grays in the darkness as something that she referred to as “elders”, and they weren't just idly feeding. They apparently were also trying to communicate an important message that my neurodivergent child brain couldn't understand.

She 'showed' me the process of how they fed from me too, partially to help me process a lot of the fear it still causes, I think. I felt how they were using some invisible force to “unravel” and “eat” the chemical emotional energy sloshing in the bodies of my friend and I, created by all the curiosity, fear, etc. we felt. Sorry but I don't know how to describe it other than feeling it invisibly, because all of it takes place in dimensions or wavelengths of light we can't see directly. Thanks to the present-day altered mental state however, I could perceive the aura of it, like how invisible heat waves can become perceptible in certain conditions. That feeding may have contributed to my lack of clearer memory about the rest of what happened too, even with substance assistance. Even though I still felt how afraid I was, I saw how the force was reducing my fear too- not only the fear that night, but also other unrelated fears that were occupying my mind. It looked like just a normal, natural process that doesn't always harm, and can often even help us. The Grays may or may not have been actually helping me in the long run, but they believed they were.

I was also sent to find this post about Tom DeLonge's stuff (https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3967914&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=5#post514793271)- with the caveat that the beings I met were not demonic or evil. I don't believe that and neither do my guides. But there is still important evidence here. I'll transcribe the image since it looks a little blurry to me:

quote:

1. Universe is teaming with life various levels of intelligence and development.
2. Different groups of aliens are interested in humans and human development. Those in the know in government call the Aliens: “The Others”.
3. The Others have both extra-terrestrial and inter-dimensional aspects.
4. The Others have been here a long time: on earth, in the sky, in Oceans, on Moon.
5. The others genetically modified primates to create humans and perhaps we are their “property”.
6. The Others have sporadic contact with humanity and some of them are interested in instigating wars between different groups of humans.
7. Some believe they feed off negative energy and some believe that they instigate conflict for entertainment.
8. The Others are responsible for cycles of humanity.
9. Atlantis was real. Destruction of ancient civilizations could be examples of what happens to those who do not conform to the control system created by The Others.
10. This knowledge of apocalyptic potential is what fueled the government cover-up.
11. Throughout history different groups of The Others have masked themselves and create different religions as a control system over humanity.
12. Many of the world's religions are simply Cargo-Cults (likened to the isolated Polynesian tribes who worshiped cargo planes that flew over during WWII)
13. If humans are busy killing each other, they are not looking up.
14. Greek and Roman Pantheons, Hindu Gods, Abrahamic religious encounters, etc... examples of encounters with The Others leading to new religions.
15. New religions lead to war.
16. Taiping Rebellion and “Our Lady Fatima” examples from recent history of these beings engaged in our politics and instigating war.
17. Direct quote from Tom: “The entire UFO phonemena is about multiple gods that fight amongth themselves and by design factionalize mankind into different religions to step back and let us fight each other because it has other things it wants to accomplish, and we don't notice them because we are too involved fighting each other. Our government knows this. It knows that The Others are instigating wars among mankind. There is a component related to human consciousness that we have a lot to learn about, and understand. There are aspects of the phenomena that are connected to what we consider the occult, and a lot of this stuff will seem like magic to people. It's very complex and difficult to comprehend and the government is still actively learning about it. But the fact is there is a physical phenomenon. There are biological bodies. There are crashes.”
18. During 1940s and 1950s there were multiple crashes across the US that changed everything.
19. Within 3 months of Roswell crash, the Air Force was separated from the Army, the DOD was created, the CIA was created, and these all served as mechanisms for the government to learn about UFOs, but all were siloed and stovepiped and only a small group of men knew about the full issue.
20. Every time there was a crash, they learned something knew, but they also encountered something that might be deceptive or might be a trick.
21. Eventually they learned that the crashed were intentionally enacted by The Others as a way to give technology to rival countries as a way to instigate war- to make better weapons, to fight bigger wars.
22. Through intelligence it was learned that many of the world's powers had their own crashes as well.
23. Once it became clear to those in charge that The Others were real and that they were interested in instigating wars, The Cover-up and The Game began.
24. The US government began a multi-level game of secrecy to attempt to prevent the spread of information and tech to hostile countries and also attempt to hide what the knew from The Others.
25. When UFO crashes were recovered, secret facilities were built far underground to try and reverse engineer the tech.
26. The Cold War was an actual conflict, but served as a pretense to build up its military capabilities without concerning The Others.
27. At times the Soviet Union and the US worked together on this issue and this is one of the main reasons the Cold War never went hot.
28. UFOs seem to have been very interested in Nukes.
29. In 1962 the high altitude nuclear test Starfish Prime we brought down our first UFO and learned the effect EMPs can have on UFOs. This was a major turning point for how the US government devised and implemented strategic nuclear policies.
30. Apollo moon landings: the conspiracy theory that they never happened was started to prevent people from arguing over what was actually seen there: UFOs.
31. UFOs often flew near nuclear missile sites and turned them on and off as an attempt to instigate conflict.
32. Reagan's SDI (Strategic Defense Initiative) was to deal with UFO phenomenon.
33. Our aggression against Iran, North Korea, etc, is because we are aware they have possess some advanced alien technologies now.
34. One of the reasons disclosure is happening now is because civilian aerospace companies will inevitably see structures on the moon and start asking questions.
35. Another reason disclosure is happening now is by design of The Others.
36. Tom and company have a long term plan to acquaint the public with this complex narrative. Phase 1 is just getting the public to treat UFOs seriously and convince everyone they are real without discussing what is behind them.

I don't believe the 'elders' who visited me had evil intentions like these Others who work with the government. Spirits and other energy beings can and do feed on emotions like hate and fear, and some of them do cultivate and revel in it. But note that the Grays from my memory fed on our curiosity too, and also remember that demons are far from the only stories we have of otherworldly beings. Not all of their interactions with us are feeding. Sometimes they just want to say something, chill, or pursue their own goals we'd have a hard time understanding. But when they do feed, they don't only have to do it with the emotions that feel bad to us. They can feed on happiness, pleasure, creativity, etc. too. They can farm those emotions, carefully pruning and weeding, and then when they harvest, they can do so joyfully and carefully, without causing damage. (I believe psilocybin works like this- pieces of mycelial network spirits compassionately grow then consume our excess ego energy, so that we can be more content, and usually in a fun way). Really, calling it "feeding" doesn't feel like it fits anymore at that point. It's more like symbiosis.

The point is, they don't have to harm us, just like we don't have to harm the other creatures of the earth as we live with them. It all depends on the choices they, and we, make.
--

Despite gaining this much understanding, there are still questions I don't have clear answers to yet (such as what message the 'elders' were trying to communicate, or why my guide called them that). I have my suspicions about answers, but this post has gone long and I really need a break. It was good to finally write down what happened after all these years, but also draining, as you can probably imagine. I will try to go into more if and when I figure it out though. Either way, thanks for this opportunity to talk about things. Hopefully it helps someone else process and figure things out too! As before, don't let the hater aliens get you down.

Orbs has issued a correction as of 15:56 on Jan 17, 2024

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~
Thanks for the thanks and kind words everybody! I had a strong feeling this thread was the right place to share.

sharknado slashfic posted:

I don't know if I have an interdimensional war in me, I'm very tired
I understand, me too. But it seemed like that war was coming, whether I had it in me or not, so I decided to prepare. We don't have to fight it alone though. The spirits I've formed connections with have helped tremendously.

UFOTacoMan posted:

I'm going to be thinking about aliens liking bluegrass music for a long time.
lmao, same. I'm going to play some at my funeral so that they feel welcome. e: maybe some fusion music with that sweet African stringed instrument mentioned.

Orbs has issued a correction as of 16:27 on Jan 17, 2024

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

:glomp: thank you

it's actually incredibly important that humans have empathy for non-humans. You're not wrong in trying to set attainable goals but I probably can't emphasize enough how much it matters that we care about and for things and people that aren't us
I also completely agree. :glomp: Even if aitees somehow turn out not to exist after all, practicing this empathy would still be of massive benefit to us and the world.

I appreciate the thread's book recommendations about the Right Hemisphere and A Thousand Brains, although I admit to sharing the skepticism about a seeming over-emphasis of the brain's relevance and control over our experiences. It's a powerful part of our bodies... but I believe it's exactly that, a part of our bodies, a piece of the whole. Not separate or standing above like a ruler. But I like that one of them connects consciousness to gestures, that sounds promising. If I have the chance I will read them with an open mind and heart, and see what I can find. Thank you.

I wanted to recommend a book myself, while we're on the topic, especially to those of you who have mentioned exploring with mushrooms: Entangled Life by Merlin Sheldrake. I think the description does a great job summing up why it's so interesting, but I'll post a few of my favorite passages from it too. Description: "When we think of fungi, we probably think of mushrooms. But mushrooms are only fruiting bodies, analogous to apples on a tree. Most fungi live out of sight, yet make up a massively diverse kingdom of organisms that support and sustain nearly all living systems. The more we learn about fungi, the less makes sense without them.

Sheldrake’s mind-bending journey into this hidden world ranges from yeast to psychedelics, to the fungi that sprawl for miles underground and are the largest organisms on the planet, to those that make all plant life possible, to those that infiltrate and manipulate insect bodies with devastating precision.

Fungi throw our concepts of individuality and even intelligence into question. They can change our minds, heal our bodies, and even help us remediate environmental disaster. By examining fungi on their own terms, Sheldrake reveals how these extraordinary organisms – and our relationships with them – are changing our understanding of how life works."

quote:

A mycelial network is a map of a fungus's recent history and is a helpful reminder that all life-forms are in fact processes not things. The "you" of five years ago was made from different stuff than the "you" of today. Nature is an event that never stops. As William Bateson, who coined the term genetics, observed, "We commonly think of animals and plants as matter, but they are really systems through which matter is continually passing." When we see an organism, from a fungus to a pine tree, we catch a single moment in its continual development.

quote:

In the case of Ophiocordyceps, an infected ant's behavior can be thought of as fungal behavior. The death grip, summit disease -- these are extended characteristics of the fungus, part of its extended phenotype. Can the alterations in human consciousness and behavior brought about by psilocybin mushrooms be thought of as an extended phenotype of the fungus? The extended behavior of Ophiocordyceps leaves an imprint on the world in the form of fossilized scars on the undersides of leaves. Can the extended behavior of psilocybin mushrooms be thought of as leaving an imprint in the world in the form of ceremonies, rituals, chants, and the other cultural and technological outgrowths of our altered states? Do psilocybin fungi wear our minds, as Ophiocordyceps and Massospora wear insect bodies?

quote:

Horses and humans remains separate organisms, as do plants and mycorrhizal fungi, but both are echoes of an ancient tendency for organisms to associate. The anthropologists Natasha Myers and Carla Hustak argue that the word evolution, which literally means "rolling outward", doesn't capture the readiness of organisms to involve themselves in one another's lives. Myers and Hustak suggest that the word involution--from the word involve--better describes this tendency: a "rolling, curling, turning inward." In their view, the concept of involution better captures the entangled pushing and pulling of "organisms constantly inventing new ways to live with and alongside one another." It was their tendency to involve themselves in the lives of others that enabled plants to borrow a root system for fifty million years while they evolved their own. Today, even with their own root systems, almost all plants still depend on mycorrhizal fungi to manage their underground lives. Their involuntary tendencies enabled fungi to borrow a photosynthesizing alga to handle their atmospheric affairs. They still do. Mycorrhizal fungi are not built into plant seeds. Plants and fungi must constantly form and reform their relationships. Involution is ongoing and extravagant: By associating with one another, all participants wander outside and beyond their prior limits.

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~

Riot Bimbo posted:

I have a job interview today where i'll get to advocate for people in need and it pays well and i'm so excited y'all.

a job where i help make the world better and get to work in a group that does stuff i care about would be amazing, and this crazy trans girl needs a job BAD; the fact nobody hires in december has really dicked me over financially and I need a break!! energy and prayers and all that poo poo please!!
Blessings of light upon your interview and related endeavors~

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~

quote:

I can assure you as its former director that AARO is unwaveringly committed to harnessing science and technology to bring unprecedented clarity to these fascinating, important, and stubborn mysteries and to do so with maximum transparency. Its talented staff and team of supporting scientists are at this very moment striving in collaboration with the armed forces, intelligence community,
Lemme stop you right there. The bolded part is exactly why your government is struggling so much with this friend. Most aitees want nothing to do with troops or spooks, and the ones who do are assholes who are not interested in helping us at all.

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~

Pepe Silvia Browne posted:

so are there aliens yet?
Always have been.

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

I had a dream-scene last night where a person -- a presenter, a lecturer, a professor, a curator? -- was telling me the things that were needed to create new -- worlds? Gods? reality matrices?

Anyway the person named a few items, one at a time, each with a pause for emphasis, and then announced "obsidian" and the way they said it woke me right up out of the dream. It was a big word, enormous, it was huge and gleaming and took up space. I laid there a while and listened to the rain and fretted about the condition of the roof and eventually fell asleep again.

OBSIDIAN ordered the lecturer again and my sleeping mind said Yeah okay I'll remember in the morning.

Here I am remembering in the morning, we need obsidian for our new reality matrix, nobody forget or my dream-lecturer might be very annoyed by me.
!! I just got an obsidian mirror a couple days ago! I have done a little with it so far, and while no grand secrets of reality creation have yet been revealed, it felt nice and gave me enough energy to clean the house, which is good too. I will of course update if any secrets do reveal themselves, which I feel like they might, especially once I have enough time and focus to go deep.



Turpitude posted:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tezcatlipoca

I've actually been thinking of buying an obsidian mirror
So yeah, I will add my voice to the ones saying to get it.

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~

D-Pad posted:

Where did you get your mirror?
I added it to a Temu order I was getting for other stuff. I had been looking at Etsy and Amazon too, but there was a good deal.

Coldrice posted:

If you’re interested in getting into the mythology of Central America, this is a fun way to start - put together using the actual art, with historians, teachers, and some indigenous folk. It’s about an hour. Some cultures have big departures from this, while some are only different in minor ways or in names

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITstgdnmp6Y
Very interested. I was actually trying to dig up some previous sources I had read to contribute to the sacrifice subject, but this sounds even better than what I was reading. I will check it out soon, thank you!

So if it's not true, he's been "stealing valor" from American cops and troops for decades? lol, I support him even more if he made it all up.

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~

my bony fealty posted:

the Trinity book is absolute garbage, one of the worst UFO books I've read and I've read a lot of bad ones. even in the book it's obvious that the two main guys are just making poo poo up. DDJ is doing a great service so thoroughly tearing the story down.
I haven't read it, but it does sound bad and made up. I just think the government and/or media should pay him the 250k he's asking for the debris he has anyway.

my bony fealty posted:

even if Jose Padilla was really a troop and a cop who was so lovely at both jobs that he got shot doing them it's very telling that Vallee considers that the best credentials a person could have. a dumbfuck soldier and a dumbfuck cop. lol. come on Jaques you dumbass.
Yeah, every time I saw a quote that was like 'he's a respected cop, so you know he's a credible witness', I had to lmao.

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~

Barry Foster posted:

Thread I have really lost all perspective recently, I've been drinking too much, doing stupid poo poo and being full of anger and petulance and oppositional defiance. I've been ignoring the people I love and pursuing my own self destruction, all for the sake of my own entitlement and for a grievance I can't even remember but which drives me to do things I almost immediately hate myself for afterwards

I have been meditating, and nothing has been happening. I've looked inside and I've not been able to find myself; just a twisting and coiling mess of barbed wire, black and red. I don't encounter the world and all its people and places and features and attributes and smells and sights and joys and pleasures; I encounter only innumerable funhouse mirror versions of myself, grinning or grimacing or scowling or screaming back at me through the warped and cracked glass

There has been a demon squatting in my head for as long as I can remember that has done its absolute level best to keep me in the same old spiral of loneliness and torpor and self-abuse for all of my adult life, and that demon is me, and it has had the upper hand recently, hardcore style

I drank so much last weekend I was getting chest pains. For awhile I truly started to think I was going to die. I didn't fear it for myself, but I felt such bitter regret that others would have to live with a death that I had selfishly brought on myself

I came out of it yesterday, finally. I'm done drinking. I'm praying to anything and anyone that'll listen to help me not lose myself again, to start growing again, to be in the world again, to accept I am no more special or important than anyone else, that I don't deserve anything more than anyone else does.

I want back on the ma'at train again. I'm done rebelling.

If you've a thought or a prayer to spare, I'd be grateful. If you've a card pull, I'd be interested to see it.

Much love :love:
:love: to you as well, here's what my reading earlier today gave me. It reflects a lot on my personal situation, but I believe it will on yours as well. Let me walk you through the related parts of the ritual a little bit though, because it's not a standard tarot reading exactly.

As the incense burns, I look into the obsidian mirror and breathe into the big twenty-sided die I'm rolling, with deep breaths in through the nose, slowly exhaling through the mouth. As the breaths cycle, I try to "look at the problems without looking at them", thinking about them without thinking about them. When I choose to roll, that tells me which of the major arcana from my deck to draw. (It only has the major arcana since it's from a video game, but they still have personal significance to me. Also, the Fool is numbered 0; I draw that when the die rolls off the table or knocks something over.)



Today, I rolled 13- Death. Most people reading this thread probably know this, but just in case, a disclaimer: the Death card rarely if ever symbolizes actual physical death. Death really signals that one major phase in your life is ending, and a new one is going to start. You just need to close one door, so the new one will open. The past needs to be placed behind you, so you can focus your energy on what is ahead of you.

It sounds like you already have closed the old door, or started to close it. I believe this card is reinforcing to you that that was the right decision, and possibly hinting at new decisions ahead. It sounds like you're doing amazing work, and the cosmos knows.

There is a little more to the ritual that you might also find meaningful*, I did. After rolling the d20, I roll the six-sided one with the skulls, and the results of the two rolls combined can be shaped into a number that tells me which pages to turn to in my copy of The Little Zen Companion, another personally significant item that is basically a collection of quotes from people the authors believed meant something in Zen Buddhism. I rolled a 2 today, so I turned to page 132 (13+2)... only to discover that page 132 has been ripped out, leaving just the pages before and ahead of it.

"When hungry, eat your rice; when tired, close your eyes. Fools may laugh at me, but wise men will know what I mean." -Lin-Chi

"I threw my cup away when I saw a child drinking from his hands at the trough." -Diogenes

Edit: * I realize I didn't actually explain how the missing page was meaningful, and that was because the meaning was so big to me personally, that I was still processing it. I'm still sitting with it now, but this interpretation posted resonates with me, and might also with you:

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

Particularly in connection with the Death card I interpreted it as your upcoming days being huge with possibility. "It's time to write your own fortune." You may already have everything you need for your next journey or project too, I see a pencil and a journal on the table there behind the book with the missing page. Divination being such as it is there are many correct ways to understand it I am sure but that is the one immediately to mind for me, so I hope that may be helpful :)

I have had the ontology of writing on the mind recently though. You might like this paper, which I read several days ago and have been mulling over various elements thereof since. It feels like the time to post it.

Opening the Way of Writing: Semiotic Metaphysics in the Book of Thoth

Orbs has issued a correction as of 23:29 on Feb 3, 2024

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~

uber_stoat posted:

i should infest myself with lichen. i believe it would provide many benefits to me.
Perhaps you already are a lichen! You could still become more of one too of course, and that probably would benefit you. But I think it's fascinating that recent biological discoveries and insights are leading to people actually thinking about this unironically.

https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/10.1086/668166

quote:

The notion of the “biological individual” is crucial to studies of genetics, immunology, evolution, development, anatomy, and physiology. Each of these biological subdisciplines has a specific conception of individuality, which has historically provided conceptual contexts for integrating newly acquired data. During the past decade, nucleic acid analysis, especially genomic sequencing and high-throughput RNA techniques, has challenged each of these disciplinary definitions by finding significant interactions of animals and plants with symbiotic microorganisms that disrupt the boundaries that heretofore had characterized the biological individual. Animals cannot be considered individuals by anatomical or physiological criteria because a diversity of symbionts are both present and functional in completing metabolic pathways and serving other physiological functions. Similarly, these new studies have shown that animal development is incomplete without symbionts. Symbionts also constitute a second mode of genetic inheritance, providing selectable genetic variation for natural selection. The immune system also develops, in part, in dialogue with symbionts and thereby functions as a mechanism for integrating microbes into the animal-cell community. Recognizing the “holobiont”—the multicellular eukaryote plus its colonies of persistent symbionts—as a critically important unit of anatomy, development, physiology, immunology, and evolution opens up new investigative avenues and conceptually challenges the ways in which the biological subdisciplines have heretofore characterized living entities.
...
This new paradigm for biology asks new questions and seeks new relationships among the different living entities on Earth. We are all lichens.

A followup talking more about lichens:
https://nmnh.typepad.com/the_plant_press/2016/10/we-are-all-lichens.html

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

Whoa, love that. May I ask how you interpreted the fact of the missing page when you turned to it?
Honestly, I felt it was so significant that I'm still processing it. It has a lot to think about in my own personal part of the ritual too. If anyone has any insight to share about that question, please do.

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

Particularly in connection with the Death card I interpreted it as your upcoming days being huge with possibility. "It's time to write your own fortune." You may already have everything you need for your next journey or project too, I see a pencil and a journal on the table there behind the book with the missing page. Divination being such as it is there are many correct ways to understand it I am sure but that is the one immediately to mind for me, so I hope that may be helpful :)

I have had the ontology of writing on the mind recently though. You might like this paper, which I read several days ago and have been mulling over various elements thereof since. It feels like the time to post it.

Opening the Way of Writing: Semiotic Metaphysics in the Book of Thoth
I like that interpretation a lot, thank you for sharing! This book does look really interesting too. I will check it out soon, and follow up if that suggests any further detail to the ritual reading.

Orbs has issued a correction as of 23:53 on Feb 3, 2024

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~

Lux Anima posted:

This is how the Death (a grand transformation) of a friend or family or ally can stymie personal growth, from a person's own impatience/ignorance perspective: suddenly, a resource you counted on being there for you becomes unresponsive or acts as if it never existed, and you have to find an 'understudy' or else alternate paths to finding certain knowledges to help you on your path.
Ohh, that's a really good explanation too, thank you!

Barry Foster posted:

These are super relevant to me, especially the first one! Or rather, the first is what I am grappling with; the latter will be my challenge when I have mastered the former.

The page being torn out of the book also feels synchronicitous to me. In my premonition dream of my future NDE (long story) I was presented with a bookshelf with 86 books on it - the years of my life. The entities that were with me said they had removed some stuff from some of the books, and that I'd probably be better off not thinking too hard about it or trying too hard to figure out what was on the pages. I don't know how that relates directly, but it was the first thing that came to my mind

Anyway, thank you sincerely, you've given me a lot to chew on
You're welcome, I'm very glad it was relevant! And thank you for telling me about your bookshelf, that helps me a lot with my own chewing too.

Tighclops posted:

these are the keepers of ontological shocking secrets, sombering
It doesn't even bother me that much that Lou keeps bad company, because the entire government is full of clowns, chud and otherwise. They will never give us any information they consider "theirs" without a fight, even if they don't actually understand it, lol. This is why so many people are turning to other sources, both scientific and non-scientific, to explain the fact that something is clearly happening but the clowns who "rule" us continue to insist everything is fine. It's all just ball lightning and swamp gas, everybody go back to work, nothing to see here.

Orbs has issued a correction as of 16:05 on Feb 4, 2024

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~

Charlatan Eschaton posted:

theres a bunch of types of manna and most of them are tree resins but one is a variety of lichen. here's an article about it

https://www.anbg.gov.au/lichen/case-studies/diyarbakir-manna.html

and the lichen sections of the book referenced
I missed this post initially, but those books are on my list now too, thank you!

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~

Barry Foster posted:

Thanks so much asking, that's really kind :blessed:

I spent most of Saturday doing job applications/personal statements, which is always a surefire to make me sullen and resentful and narcissistic (I hate that I have to do this dance, and it brings out all my biggest insecurities, especially the fear of being humiliated and rejected for work + the active feeling of being humiliated in the very act of begging for work, when I shouldn't have to, and indeed nobody should. And, of course, fear of having no money - and not being able to continue going to therapy - if I don't get employed ASAP).

Anyway, I went for a walk after that, and walked past many pubs, and felt an urge to go get loaded (as that tends to be my go-to when I'm feeling angry and insecure and resentful). But I resisted. When I got back in I remembered I had a low dose (10-15mg, probably) of 2C-B capped up from back when I went for a walk out on the moors back in, uh, October I think. So I decided to take that, watched Star Trek IV with my partner when she got home from work, then played videogames with my best mate. After that listened to music and had a think. The trip really helped me get poo poo back into perspective. When I'm drinking a lot then al-ghoul actively discourages me from using psychs, it sucks. I should've done it months ago.

Anyway, I've decided to start trying to reframe difficulties as challenges, and making tiny improvements every day. I went back to the gym today, after seven weeks off ('cause of covid). On Saturday when I was tripping I forced myself out of the usual nostalgic music choices and challenged myself to listen to half an hour of new music (with the proviso that I was allowed to then go back to doing whatever - same as with the 2C-B - "you can't drink, but you can trip if you like, and you can have ONE weed gummy too"). Basically trying to get back to being a good parent to myself, if that makes sense. Allowing myself to do stuff I like, within moderation, and trying new things from time to time instead of getting stuck in patterns/routines/obsessions/compulsions.

Then Sunday just chilled, made brunch for my partner, watched some more Star Trek, played a lot of BG3! Meditated quite a lot.

I went back to the gym today and I've been eating right all weekend, and plan to for the rest of the week. I'm trying a new meditation course, as the old one got a bit stale. And again, most of all - no al-ghoul. No more doing things that I think make me feel good but actually just make me feel bad.
I see a lot to be proud of here, including giving yourself credit for all the small improvements you're creating. That's really good and another strong sign to me that you'll flourish on this path. Thank you for providing an update!

ArmedZombie posted:

a normal space rock that aliens put a warp drive on and turned into an interstellar spaceship :colbert:
This.

Good Soldier Svejk posted:

He doesn't seem manic or obscenely high in this video he hosted: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXRDex1IXu0

maybe J'rooti gave the download to a small-tier youtuber as a joke
All my aitees, gone...

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~

Nichael posted:

Hello aitee enthusiasts.

Can anyone help me get a belated birthday gift for a friend who's been going through a lot lately? In part, the gift is belated because I was helping her with her stuff, so things on my to-do lists fell by the wayside.

She likes aliens, anime, and I'd say pseudo-science "woo" (but probably not full woo). She likes books a lot. Any suggestions on that front?

Would these books be appropriate? Are they any good? https://www.amazon.com/s?k=Andrew+Gallimore&crid=2TJNASK3VC0VL&sprefix=%2Caps%2C568&ref=nb_sb_noss_2
I haven't read that particular author, but if your friend has been going through a lot, I believe information about psychedelics/entheogens like DMT could be very helpful, so these books might be good! Probably plenty of pseudo-science and maybe a little talk of aliens or other nonhuman beings. Since Salvia Divinorum was mentioned in the description, that reminded me of another book I've been reading recently specific to that plant: Sage Spirit: Salvia Divinorum and the Entheogenic Experience by Martin Ball. I haven't finished it yet so I don't know if it's a 100% recommendation for what your friend is looking for yet, but I do like it so far. It's part practical guidance/background, and part journals of personal experiences, and like Salvia herself can be, it is fairly direct and short. Little more than 100 pages, about half of which seems to be the stories. Also, the page I left off on feels synchronistic to me. Synchronistic in some amusing ways, and in some more serious thread-relevant ways, so I'll post it here for everybody else too.

quote:

Terror and Healing
Two days after 9/11


[after giving his friend Mark a couple bowls, but him not seeming to feel much at first.]

I prayed and meditated my way into the Saging, the Wind blowing softly through me. Behind closed eyelids the Spirit presented a rush of subtle images and physical sensations. Though the order is somewhat difficult to reconstruct, one of the first impressions in my mind was Mark remarking how the energy felt and asking if it was him or the Sage. I saw, through the feeling in my own body, that the flow was the Sage but that the energy, the power, was Mark's, and that he could direct it with his intention. As for myself, the power filled my entire being, which was greatly enhanced by prayer and concentration. There was no part of my being that was not filled with the Saging (which seems to be in contrast to Mark's experience where he's feeling more constricted and cut off from the full manifestation of the experience).

When I opened my eyes to take my additional hits, the Sage subtly shifted to lower intensities that could be renewed by closing my eyes and refocusing on the inner experience of the Sage.

After the second and third hit my mind shifted away from thinking about Mark to other dimensions, The colors before my eyes and the shapes continually shifted in a shamanic dream-flux of organic, and somewhat alien, images, textures, and scenes. My own shape shifted and transformed with the subtle flow of the Spirit as It traveled. I stood on the edge of a cliff, overlooking a vast forest with a river and mountains, sky and clouds. My shoulders arched over as I called to the Eagle and transformed and took flight, soaring through the air above the vast scene below. Then all turned green and I was enveloped in emerald green power-substance. The Sage pushed as it surrounded me and lifted me up from the ground of this shamanic/alien/organic space.

And then the scene shifts. All is red and orange. There seem to be temples, like Aztec and Mayan pyramids. The sunlight streams down in golden light. There are others here, but they are difficult to see in detail, though they have the aura of aliens, of something beyond or from elsewhere. Are these offerings or sacrifices? The world is being made beautiful.

I take one more small hit and finish the bowl. I have the urge to shake a rattle, so I grab the nearest one available. I return to my seat and begin rattling. This driving sets off a rapid shamanic journey. I'm rushing through the trees, up canyons, through the creeks. I pass over a waterfall, deep in a dark place. I enter the mountain, following some spirit, some guide. I look for the Master of the Mountain. There's confusion. I find my medicine stones. I take them in my hand. There seems to be fire.

Suddenly I'm at the beach. I'm in the water. I am the water. I touch the sand...

I'm an eagle. I circle a few times above the ocean on the breeze and then begin to rush over the mountains. Faster, faster. Suddenly I'm flying over New York. I have my medicine. I pray. I pray for the dead. I pray for the living. I pray for the terrorists. I pray for the world and for beauty. Healing light comes in from four directions in the four colors. All is beauty.

Next, the same in Washington.

Then, white, pure light, spreading from the middle of the earth and shining across the globe, encircled in a rainbow. It is Beauty, Compassion, Peace, Wisdom.

All the while I'm looking, looking, looking so hard, so directed. My eyes search behind my closed eyelids. I feel the concentration on my brow. The rattle propels me. It breathes. It lives. I follow the Spirit where It goes. See what It shows me. It is all so subtle, but all so clear. Like a dream, softly behind the eyes. Thought and action are one. It is Seeing. I have a body, many bodies, in this Seeing. All is rapid transformation and flux, and the continuous Sage flow and Wind moves on, pushing me, leading me.

Gentle I let the rattle fade as I return into my body. Mark had been meditating through all this. I had briefly considered whether my rattle would disturb him, but quickly decided that I was going to do what I felt moved and directed to do.

When Mark saw me come out of my trance, he wanted me to tell him about what I had experienced. I wasn't ready to talk yet and though most of the Sage had passed, I still felt an outflowing. I felt supremely good and filled with Beauty and satisfaction. It was strong medicine, strong prayer. Its sacred power was just overwhelming.
Bolded parts and brackets mine. Since the Aztecs/Mexican peoples and their religion were talked about earlier in the thread, and because Salvia Divinorum is from the Oaxaca region of Mexico, I felt very :eyepop: when I went to pick this book up again after putting it down for a couple weeks, and the bookmark was in the middle of this story. (And it being about 9/11 plus us posting on Something Awful made me laugh)

Orbs has issued a correction as of 06:54 on Feb 9, 2024

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~

The Protagonist posted:

it's downright funny how bad salvia is

a troll trip from coyote, as a joke
That's not what it is in my experience at all. Salvia is a powerful and beautiful thing that helped open my eyes to whole new worlds of life, and may do the same for others if they explore responsibly. Also provided lots of healing and knowledge in many trips.

Orbs has issued a correction as of 11:13 on Feb 9, 2024

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~

The Demilich posted:

I found out my mushroom bars were counterfeit after doing some more research on them. Most likely the poo poo taste was probably from low quality cannabis, although most online say for these knockoffs typically contain 4-aco-dmt... which if true is still odd since it had no effect on me.

Time to order some spores. Now I got to get all the other bullshit though.
Have you eaten shrooms before? Just want to make sure because there may be other reasons besides counterfeit for not feeling anything, such as certain medications.

Getting spores is a fun idea if you already know they work on you in general though. I have friends who have done that, it sounds like a very interesting process.

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~

The Demilich posted:

I haven't, but in any case I don't take any medications.

Also these are certified fakes, I found the seller that sells the counterfeit boxes online that were used, plus they couldn't figure out how to get the designs on the faces of chocolate that were supposed to be there. I'm low key pissed just cause of the waste of money.

I knew I should have grown them myself, could have saved myself some trouble by following my gut instinct on this.
Ah, okay. Sorry about the waste, that sucks. But yeah, following your gut instincts is a great idea, hopefully that goes well!

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~
Given the nature of the NHIs I believe I and many others have met, I think it makes perfect sense to look for contact using hallucinogens/entheogens. They seem to be heavily linked or responsive to our emotional/mental states, and few substances in our lives alter those more than entheogens. But even if you don't believe that explanation, using things like shrooms to cope with the huge ongoing ontological shock of the semi-reveal followed by coverup is probably wise too, because they can help minds become more open and flexible.

Of course I know it can be bothersome sometimes. A lot of such threads dedicated to psychedelics and the like tend to be 50% novice "how do I dose" posts, and 50% experienced folks trying to one-up each other with wild stories. There's a place for that and it can be fun/useful, but here, it seems a little more focused and relevant. Helping us prepare for what's ahead, or searching for it ourselves. I don't mind it at all, welcome it even.

That being said, these videos seem like good poo poo too, I've been waiting for them! I don't deny that the scientific method is still a powerful and helpful tool for these questions as well. I will devour asap:

Bucswabe posted:

Thank you so much to everyone here for the words of support and for indulging me in my... self expression(?) last night

I didn't set out to be the centre of attention and I'm sorry if I grossed anyone out...

As a stranger here, I don't feel like I've earned such kindness, so it's truly appreciated.

I've been lurking here for a while, and this thread has helped me more than than you could know.

You all don't feel like strangers to me.

It's spick and span, I promise!
Thank you for sharing, and:

The Demilich posted:

Comrade, you don't need to earn kindness.

Orbs has issued a correction as of 16:46 on Feb 12, 2024

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~

SpaceGoatFarts posted:

Since posting here I don't feel like I need entheogens anymore. And I mean this very literally as during my crisis I experienced things far more crazy than any trip I ever had. I also realized I simply don't have the time nor the opportunities anymore to trip, so (after asking friends if they were interested) I simply threw away all the psychedelics I had stored in my desk. Two dozens of tabs of LSD analogs, 1g of miprocin and metocin, and a bunch of salvia concentrate bags.

I also quit tobacco and weed entirely.

Maybe one day I'll get new opportunities to trip but right now I just want to be there for my kids and wife, and entheogens are not a part of that picture.
That's some impressive work! And probably all those substances (yeah, entheogen is my favorite word for them too!) would agree if you did trip with them right now, and they'd end up just repeating something like "be there for your kids and wife". Right on, being there for each other is what it's all about.

I don't have a steady partner or kids, so I have the time, money, and space to be a lot freer with my explorations. I can always explore extra with my sight and tarot readings on behalf of those who can't or don't want to. Doing that has actually been a great way I've started reconnecting with my community in recent months.

Orbs has issued a correction as of 16:42 on Feb 12, 2024

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~
Just on the first video so far (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1QCFtod6i8) but the DoDness of the charts is already so high that the presenter himself made a joke about it when this one came up, lol.

Orbs has issued a correction as of 17:58 on Feb 12, 2024

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~

Hooplah posted:

your image host seems kinda hosed
I think the edit should work? Thank you for pointing that out.

I'm really loving Peter Skafish's talk about anthropomorphism and ontology too. In the second half he mentions specifically looking into animism as a possible perspective shift that might be helpful for investigating NHI phenomena.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gLz5QYjJZA

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

Speaking of those advertisements. I have so much anger today about what happened in Rafah last night, clearly specifically timed so that news reports about the bombings and murders would be concealed from Americans beneath breathless headlines about the Superbowl and celebrities. I usually work this anger into some kind of action or sense of purpose but today it is nearly paralytic and the sense of it just churning away uselessly inside of me is just making me angrier.

Perhaps I cannot connect to my Deity partner today to turn this anger into usable energy because They are already putting Their full attention on protecting and comforting the people who are having atrocities committed upon them. If that is the case that is great, that is ideal. But I am still desperate to try to do more in whatever ways I can so I am now asking those in here who practice any sort of mystic practice at all to turn their attention to Palestine today. Pray that other countries' civilians keep seeing what is happening to the people there and keep caring. Pray that everything they are suffering will become the bedrock for change and the development of a future that they deserve. Ask that they know they are not alone, that they will never be alone again. Demand justice.

When you visit the ontologic places, bring pieces back with you. The leaves, the stones, the stars. Build magic here. We are desperate for assistance. The Gods beg for purpose. Give it to Them.
I'm glad you brought this up because my deities (some of whom are stars or similar) actually had a lot to say about this when I did a reading on Sunday. I hadn't done a divination rite since the Death tarot card one in this thread. This time I incorporated even more steps into the ritual, including more handwashing and not eating meat beforehand, and there was a commensurate increase in power as I breathed the incense and rolled the dice. The first card I rolled to draw was actually Death again. But as I sat with that, I categorically rejected going down the same old paths as last time. I demanded a reroll from the cosmos, and my higher powers granted me one. This time I got 18- The Moon, which often signifies confusion, being lost in the night. But I took the reroll situation to mean I should read this draw differently than normal, maybe reversed. And some of the reversed meanings of The Moon I found stuck out to me.

"In the dark of night, you are taking a path you are unsure of, for there could be danger lurking in its depths. The moon's light can bring you clarity and understanding, and you should allow your intuition to guide you through the darkness."

"The forces that are bringing you confusion are starting to dissipate. You have started managing your fears and anxiety. Whatever negative energies you have been facing are slowly fading away. It presents a liberating experience as you discover the positive side of things."

My Zen book roll was a 6, leading me to page 186, an author's note about the experience of enlightenment in the Zen tradition:

The Little Zen Companion by David Schiller posted:

Awakening—or satori, or kensho—is the fundamental aim of Zen. It is seeing into your nature, realizing your own Buddhahood, freeing yourself from the cycle of birth and death. It is "to die completely and then come back to life." According to the koan text Denkoroku, "Even if you sit until your seat breaks through... even if you are a person of lofty deeds and pure behavior, if you haven't reached satori you can't get out of the prison of the world."

Zen writing is filled with examples of unexpected things that trigger enlightenment—Buddha seeing the morning star, Bankei coughing up a blood clot, Hsiang-yen hearing a pebble strike a bamboo tree. But one of the best descriptions of the actual experience comes from the Master Sokei-an Sasaki:

"One day I wiped out all notions from my mind. I gave up all desire. I discarded all the words with which I thought and stayed in quietude. I felt a little queer—as if I were being carried into something, or as if I were touching some power unknown to me... and Ztt! I entered. I lost the boundary of my physical body. I had my skin, of course, but I felt I was standing in the center of the cosmos. I spoke, but my words had lost their meaning. I saw people coming toward me, but all were the same man. All were myself! I had never known this world. I had believed that I was created, but now I must change my opinion: I was never created; I was the cosmos; no individual Mr. Sasaki existed."

To die completely and then come back to life. A new phase of the moon. Liberation. There is a version of a vow of the bodhisattvas that I've seen translated like this:

quote:

The unrescued I will rescue
The unliberated I will liberate
The uncomforted I will comfort
Those who have not yet reached paranirvana, I will cause to attain paranirvana
Liberation is coming I feel, for us and for them. I hope this gift from the realms beyond helps.

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

Thank you, Sibling.
:hai: :)

Charlatan Eschaton posted:

thank you bird and klingon for articulating what i have been feeling as a weird dull haze lately. seen lots of gross religious opinions in too many places. trying to do productive work has been a mess i keep screwing up simple tasks, having trouble getting some food plants started for summer. have been trying to do wild yeast bread starters and have been failing since december, i'll get bubbles for two or three refreshes and then it just stops growing. i read you have to keep stirring it every day even when it looks like it failed and i think that is finally working. went outside and saw the first leaves of jute plants starting and it gave me some small feeling of hope trying to send out positive vibes from them.


Growing plants is awesome. I'm sure they felt those good vibes! Spring gardening is going to be busy this year, I've got a lot I'm looking forward to as well.

How! posted:

I get down on UFOs as just another grift and then I see this or reread the bhagavid ghita

anyway. I’m not happy with how my latest art turned out- but I needed to finish it for personal reasons. I’m sure it will coalesce into something good later.



We are all on this world for a moment- will we save a life or destroy one? I think that’s the only test. The center cannot hold etc etc
Our society turns everything it possibly can into a grift, even real things, and UFOs are no exception. But you can clearly still see the art in the world anyway, because I can see it shining through your work here. The detail and depth in the waves are incredible.

Barry Foster posted:

Unless something very new has happened every version of video of this event online is a recreation, the original was destroyed

Still love to see em though

Edit

And yeah, count me in as another who is feeling hosed up by the genocide we're committing. It feels a bit crass to say because it's the most serious loving business there is and I don't want to be flippant, but if there is such a thing as a noosphere or collective consciousness or whatever then it feels like there is something deeply sick feeling in it right now. Things are out of joint in a way I don't remember ever perceiving before.

Demons are really real, and we are ruled by them, and I never before so viscerally grokked the sheer extent that human souls can gleefully, intentionally twist themselves into utterly grotesque forms.
If demons are real, then they're far from the only beings that are real. We should remember the gentle ones too, and the just ones.

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~

:unsmith:

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~

The Demilich posted:

Decided to do a tarot spread regarding the one that ghosted me, cause the wound cut deep as hell. I know I shouldn't but it being Valentine's day has me feeling melancholic, especially after they posted some fiction related topics I by default found interesting (especially their commentary). The fact that these posts are probably the last time I'll hear their voice hit pretty hard as well.

2 card spread: Factors to consider that pulled/are pulling us apart. Will there a reconciliation?
3rd card: overall tone to help interpret the 2 cards

4 of Swords (reversed), The Emperor (reversed)
2 of Swords
I had similar feelings regarding a couple people back when I did my Death card reading itt (https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?&threadid=3967914&pagenumber=2298&perpage=40#post537582604). Those feelings weren't the main focus of my ritual, but the results did speak to answering them too. Especially the idea of closing old doors. I realized how much keeping those old doors open had been sapping my power, physical, mental, and spiritual. When I decided "the time for things to happen with them has past, I am done thinking about them", the power and confidence finally started to come back to me. That may be part of why you feel so stopped up. Good searching to you, it will be okay.

Fitzy Fitz posted:

I might be able to help with this. I have trouble focusing and a terrible memory, so I accept that I have to work through books slowly. I highlight important lines, take notes with page numbers, and add bookmarks for sections I want to reference often. I also take short breaks to do further research when I get to something that I think deserves more of my attention.

And even then, I might not remember things as well as I'd like. But I'm more comfortable with that knowing that my book is all marked up from my previous readthrough and will be easier to return to.
This is great advice. The more intentional and active you can make the process of reading and learning, the better you'll be able to remember it. It will be slower, especially at first, but the difference in the amount of information you actually absorb is incredible.

Andy Pandy posted:

The Sol Foundation, to me, is yet another circle of secret-keeping spooks who have been formed to frame the "disclosure" narrative in the most palatable way possible.

Garry Nolan's video especially was maddening. 35 minutes of chat about metal isotopes of supposed UAP bits, concluding that they are the result of an "industrial process". NICAP published the exact same findings about the Ubatuba sample decades ago without any of Nolan's equipment, yet here he is in 2023 saying the same thing. Nothing new. David Grusch has claimed we literally have crafts and bodies squirreled away in private industry, so I'm not really going to get excited about waiting for further analysis of metal trash from incidents 50+ years ago. Nolan is a very rich man, and I can't help but think of the millions of dollars he has received from the DoD/FDA and whether that might influence his role in all this.

I am also not particularly excited about their long-term disclosure plans, as it seems to me that the "catastrophic disclosure" they want to avoid is probably catastrophic only for government/corporate interests.

I watched a few more of the videos and they were fairly interesting, but not really anything new. I liked Kevin Knuth and the guy with the funky shirt that talked about human levitation.
I don't disagree, but it's nice that even spooks have to acknowledge uncomfortable realities sometimes. I'm still working my way through all the videos since I missed these when they first came around, but I agree Kevin Knuth's video was good. I also really appreciated Peter Skafish's talk for the sociological side.

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~

Ben Nerevarine posted:

the Jroot is loose

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~
These are rookie numbers, we need to pump them if we're going to become a drug-smuggling death cult

Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~

Son of Thunderbeast posted:

Yeah for me personally until et starts zapping those fuckers to dust i don't care what they have to say
Many are trying, but the fuckers in question have powerful protections and allies on their side too

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Orbs
Apr 1, 2009
~Liberation~

neutral milf hotel posted:

this is very cute :3:
Yeah, mdemone's daughter did amazing work :3: One day soon all the aitees will be free.

mdemone posted:

8-yo daughter drew this for me. I didn't tell her about the jellyfish, I swear



The Demilich posted:

Warning: long post ahead.

I will assist in the best way I can.
Seeing you doing these pulls yourself has been awesome, this is very good and helpful!

Since there were several asks for card pulls, I was considering adding them to the big divination I planned this long weekend. I have an ounce of amigo shrooms and plenty of Salvia leaf and extract, which I want to use for their Seeing and Listening purposes. Much of it is to regain focus and grounding after a lot of personal/political activity lately, but I will absolutely also be keeping all of my eyes open for any knowledge, guidance, support, or evidence of intelligent life that might benefit or interest the thread.

As I was preparing my space for the journey ahead, I discovered two more big novelty d20s I owned. It was revealed to me that each of the dice represents a different voice and path, which feels like exactly what we need since many folks, myself included, are trying to decide among multiple possible directions. The d6 and the mirror are also secondary helper voices, and the five of them have spent a couple days strongly indicating that they'll have a lot to say to me in the near future. I look forward to finding out where I'll go with them. Here's a glimpse of what they said to me during their personal "introduction". While not a reading specific to any person, it might still be helpful/interesting in the interim, and it will help me solidify my interpretation of their perspectives.


Red: 20 - JUDGEMENT. Rebirth, inner calling, absolution. Red is associated by my thoughts with the Sun.
Tarot (from biddy tarot): "Tune in to a higher frequency. Let go of your old self and step into this newest version of who you really are."
Zen Page: "We walk, and our religion is shown (even to the dullest and most insensitive person) in how we walk. Or to put it more accurately, living in this world means choosing, choosing to walk, and the way choose to walk is infallibly and perfectly expressed in the walk itself. Nothing can disguise it. The walk of an ordinary man and of an enlightened man are as different as that of a snake and a giraffe." - R. H. Blyth

Green: 11 - JUSTICE. Fairness, truth, cause and effect. Associated by me with the Earth.
Tarot: "You need to ask yourself, 'Do I stand by my decisions and accept the consequences of my actions?' If you cannot, then dig deeper, plunging into the shadows of what is right and wrong, until you find the place where you can stand in integrity and strength."
Zen Page: "The thing about Zen is that it pushes contradictions to their ultimate limit where one has to choose between madness and innocence. And Zen suggests that we may be driving toward one or the other on a cosmic scale. Driving toward them because, one way or the other, as madmen or innocents, we are already there.
It might be good to open our eyes and see." -Thomas Merton

Blue: 14 - TEMPERANCE. Balance, moderation, patience, purpose. Associated by me with Sagittarius A*, the supermassive black hole at the center of the milky way.
Tarot: "There is alchemy within Temperance. This Tarot card is about blending, mixing, and combining diverse elements in a way that creates something new and even more valuable than its separate parts. ‘Blending’ can take on many forms; for example, a blended family, an artist who blends different materials or techniques, a bartender who mixes new and exciting cocktails, or a chef who combines different cuisines and cooking styles."
Zen Page: "In this very breath that we take now lies the secret that all great teachers try to tell us." -Peter Matthiessen

Moon/Mirror: 18. The meaning of this card from the last ritual was reversed by the Mirror. Instead of confusing, the moon's light is guiding. Showing the way toward light amidst confusion. Associated with Earth's moon.
Zen Page: "Soon the child's clear eye is clouded over by ideas and opinions, preconceptions and abstractions. Simple free being becomes encrusted with the burdensome armor of ego. Not until years later does an instinct come that a vital sense of mystery has been withdrawn. The sun glints through the pines, and the heart is pierced in a moment of beauty and strange pain, like a memory of paradise. After that day... we become seekers." -Peter Matthiessen

Black d6: 6 - THE LOVERS. Harmony, relationships, values alignment, choices. Associated by me with plant and fungi spirits of the earth like Salvia and psilocybin, which help form bridges between the physical and the spiritual. (Similar to how the d6 roll result links the Tarot reading to the Zen reading.)
Tarot: "Given that the man and woman are naked, they are both willing to be in their most vulnerable states and have learned to open their hearts to one another and share their truest feelings. They shape the container from which trust and confidence can emerge, and this makes for a powerful bond between the two. In a reading, this card is a sign that by communicating openly and honestly with those you care about, you will create a harmonious and fulfilling relationship built on trust and respect."
Zen Page: "Good pitching will always stop good hitting, and vice versa." -Casey Stengel

Like I said, this is just the introduction, but I can see pieces already forming of helpful ways to use their power and guidance in my rituals (and of course, others are always invited to form their own interpretations out of these pieces). I know that when I look at this arrangement now and think about my paths, the emotions the different cards, quotes, and contexts make me feel nudges me toward one or the other. That will help me as I'm rolling them later, and trying to figure out how to form their voices into a message. Or if there is more than one message. I will feel it out as it comes. No matter what happens, everything will be okay. Best wishes.

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