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The Covid pandemic messed up movies so bad in 2020 that even the new Greenlit thread was delayed a whole year. As we head towards two full years of The Plague Years, the box office is still a gigantic mess, experiments with streaming means some movies get dumped their while others have hybrid releases, films get release dates pushed back so often they are more like suggestions, and Spider-Man teaches that great power brings great box office returns. What this means for us is 2022 gets a brand new Greenlit thread! Unlike other OPs, it isn't so simple to just list a bunch of movies that either did horribly at the box office or did far beyond what they should have. Everything is topsy-turvy. So instead this is more of a collection of two years of weirdness, probable failures, and just plain shrugs. 2020 was such a weird year at the box office that Dolittle landed in a respectable #7 place in the US box office. It's also one of the last movies I saw in a theater. Plenty of films saw alternate distribution through streaming services, as the various media conglomerants ramped up their streaming wars in an effort to get you to pay more for a few streaming channels than you do for cable. With millions of Americans out of work, that meant most had to pick and choose a few channels and leave vast swaths of media unseen. Except for quibi, which no one saw, ever. Big budget blockbusters got pushed back again and again as studios played chicken and the odds with the release dates. Warner Bros. just threw in the towel and announced all of their 2021 slate would debut on HBO Max at the same time as a theatrial release. This came as news to everyone involved in all of those movies (and they were given less than 30 minutes before the announcement was made public) except Gal Gadot and Patty Jenkins from Wonder Woman 1984, who got a cool $10 million each to promote the streaming release like it was the best thing since sliced bread! This made a bunch of people mad and the drama is still ongoing as directors scream into the void about how their films are pure cinema and must be seen in a theater so you can experience the grey and brown CGI done by underpaid animators working at home while their children play at their feet in much bigger size. Christopher Nolan took his ball and went to Universal to make his big deal Oppenheimer movie. Disney started dumping films onto Disney+, some with premium viewing fees on top of the monthly fee, while others were tossed their for free. This included the Mulan remake, which I have never heard anyone say anything positive about, ever. MCU's Black Widow also got a streaming exclusive release, which mean that ScarJo sued Disney as her contract was all about that box office performance (in addition to the $20 million she got outside of that) They settled because they both want to go on making more and more money Due to the crisis, we are changing how the OP is set up. So let's begin... Pre-Plague Box Office notable films: Dolittle - The weirdest talking animal movie ever, Dolittle films just can't help being fiascos and this one features Robert Downey Jr. with his hand up a dragon's butt. The Call of the Wild - Harrison Ford and a CGI dog was expected to bomb but did okay at the box office, but that wasn't enough as this movie was super expensive, costing up to $150 million. With only pulling in $110.8 million worldwide, there was no gold in these mountains. Sonic the Hedgehog - Notable because it was not terrible and there was a huge fan campaign to change the CGI of Sonic from ghastly to ok. Sure some artists worked overtime for weeks to do it, but Sonic was pretty so it was all worth the stress and low pay. Post-Plague Box Office: New Mutants - This was a joke for years in these threads as it looked like it would never get a release. Well, it finally did, and it turns out it was a joke. Enjoy these characters popping up in Avengers 12 The Wretched - Noted because thanks to a quirk of the limited amount of films in theaters, The Wretched was number one at the box office for six weeks in a row, no film has done that since Avatar. Opening weekend at 12 whole theaters earned $65,908, so you can see the kind of money we are dealing with. Eventually Becky took it down in week 7, where it only made $148,583 for third place. I guess it's a horror film about a witch, but the witch isn't named Blair so I don't care. Monster Hunter - A video game movie where there are giant monsters but no one cared about that because the story was all about a racial slur against Chinese that got included as a joke, everyone got mad, and the line is now deleted from all versions of the film, making illegal cam bootlegs a valuable collector's item to torrent. Dear Evan Hansen - They adapted the musical that put Ben Platt on the map (outside of the fact he was a nepotism hire but lol) and then they kept Ben Platt as the lead, a high school kid, despite the fact he looks older than me while having been born while I was in high school. It was creepy, everyone freaked out, but I hear the movie might be good besides that. I'll never know... The Many Saints Of Newark - A Sopranos prequel seems like a slam dunk, but despite high expectations this one sort of made everyone go "meh" and then wander away. The worst failures are the ones where they just forget about you forever. Reminiscence - speaking of memory, this film about recreating memories starring Hugh Jackman manage to lose a bunch of money with the worst debut of all-time for a film playing in over 3,000 theaters. Also I hear it isn't very good. Chaos Walking - No way was this a real movie. Next! Snake Eyes - Remember there was a GI Joe prequel? Action fans hated it and no one else seemed to have bothered. Don't worry, action fans and everyone else also hated... Mortal Kombat - which was more of a horror film than an action film, or an action horror. They also forgot to have a tournament in their movie about a tournament. What a boner! West Side Story - Not only was this Spielberg adaptation released around the same time as Spider-Man, but the lead Ansel Elgort allegedly sexually assaulted someone. Regardless, Film Twitter informed me that I personally killed movies because I didn't go see it in theaters. And if you didn't, you killed movies, too. For shame. The Last Duel - Instead of twitter, director Ridley Scott himself directly insulted everyone who didn't want to go see The Last Duel. “I think what it boils down to — what we’ve got today [are] the audiences who were brought up on these loving cell phones. The millennian do not ever want to be taught anything unless you are told it on the cell phone,” Wow, he sure told us! Ghostbusters: Afterlife - Sony busted the girl squad and went with a sequel to the original film directed by the son of the original director that was 10000% focused on nostalgia. That thing you dreaded was going to happen, happened. There was also an Asian kid named Podcast and a ghost named Muncher. Spider-Man: No Way Home - This made all the money and may have killed a bunch of people with covid in packed theaters. VOD Hall of Shame: Scoob! - Scooby-Doo got rebooted as kids, they ditched all the voice actors for celebrity gimmick actors, threw in a bunch of other Hannah-Barbera properties, but forgot to make their movie good. The Witches - A remake of the Roald Dahl book (I guess technically a new adaptation but whatever) with Anne Hathaway as the leader of the witches. I did not hear much of anything about this when it landed online so I guess it has disappeared into the ether. Artemis Fowl - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0-QNqnkoYY Trolls World Tour - This Troll film was released to streaming in 2020 which means more people probably saw this cereal which is still for sale than the Troll film  COMING 2022 (or 2023 or 2024 or 2025 or a streaming service near you!): Legally Blonde 3 - Excuse me, there was already a third Legally Blonde movie that was direct to video, you can't just ignore it! Okay, maybe you can and should... Fast & Furious 10 & 11 - Vin Diesel is now begging The Rock to come back. The Rock is saying No. Top Gun: Maverick - Top Gun is back with a non-offensive to China jacket and also the Son of Goose (Miles Teller)! Morbius - https://twitter.com/Variety/status/1345557996361814017 You read the tweet, this movie is anticipated, tweets are never wrong! Everything in that tweet is 100% accurate. Sonic the Hedgehog 2 - Idris Elba is Knuckles. You'll see it just for that. Sure it looks fun, too, but this is the reason. Puss in Boots: The Last Wish - Yes, the Shrek franchise is still alive, somehow. I don't know if Shrek will actually be in this one, he wasn't in the other Puss in Boots movie Uncharted - Tom Holland is Nathan Drake so we got a young not-Indy movie to compete with the Old Indy movie. At least Chris Pratt isn't starring. Indiana Jones 5: Assignment Miami Beach - this isn't scheduled until 2023 now, at least until Harrison Ford hurts himself again and it gets pushed back even longer. Plot probably involves Indy yelling at a cloud and putting an onion on his belt. Did you know he is older than Old Indy from the Young Indiana Jones show? I blame the march of time. Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets Of Dumbledore - The Queen of TERFs has a new movie coming out that is now Johnny Depp free, but WB would like you to forget that JK Rowling is involved at all with this franchise so they can go back to printing money. Will Dumbledore do anything even remotely gay since that is one of his big secrets? I'm guessing no, that won't get the sweet overseas box office. Jurassic World: Dominion - I can't believe the Dominion is attacking Jurassic Park, but at least I'll finally get to see Captain Sisko ride a T-Rex! Avatar 2 - This will make all the money, especially when Spider-Man shows up Prior threads: 2020 & 2021 2019 2018 2017 2016 2015 2014 2013 2012 2011 2010 2009 2008 MechanicalTomPetty posted:R.I.P. to the last 2 years, lets hope 2022 is a slightly somewhat marginal improvement. Cross those fingers but don't hope on those fingers
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Jan 1, 2022 20:56
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Cruella is just forgettable (and getting a sequel) but Space Jam 2 probably should have gotten mentioned just for the IP consolidation and regurgitation trend, but outside that the film has been forgotten so much I didn't even see it on year end lists I looked at
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Jan 1, 2022 21:22
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Just assume there will be random waves of release dates pushes so a lot of later 2022 will end up being 2023 and so on
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Jan 2, 2022 00:14
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Aglet56 posted:tars, i just wanna say that i love the effort you put into the OPs for every greenlit thread Thanks, everyone, it is a pleasure to write them each year! This year is about 10-20% the partial one I wrote from last year rewritten, sadly some of the things were still true or even worse! Hopefully everything gets geared back up enough we get back to the amount of trailers we usually have Nightmare Cinema posted:All I ask is he pens a treatment for The Schwartz Awakens/The Quest For More Money before he croaks. Anything to erase the cartoon series
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Jan 2, 2022 21:18
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Gatts posted:It's good, it has some fun, good concepts and a meta thing going on and I'd like to suggest go over to the Matrix thread but...welp...it's very mixed. I liked it but it is very divisive and doesn't deliver transformative action spectacles like the original. It looks better than a lot of the grey cgi garbage in modern cinematography, but it is just too weird for the general public. I like weird, but film discourse now is about being spoon fed everything. Oddly it would make a good double feature with Battlefield Earth. Gatts posted:I am not excited at the Rock bringing his brand to Black Adam. I thought the teaser looked boring as we've seen that a few times before, more excited for Shazam 2 and I have no idea what the plot of it even is Tars Tarkas fucked around with this message at 04:10 on Jan 3, 2022 |
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Jan 3, 2022 04:08
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Mr. Frodo, we have to put on a talent show to raise money, or the Prancing Pony will be taken over by the Sackville-Baggins! Sam, get my top hat and cane!
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Jan 3, 2022 22:02
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BREAKING NEWS!!! Morbius has been moved to April 1st! This is not an April Fool's Joke, though the movie is one now, zing! https://twitter.com/Variety/status/1478160548567023617
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Jan 4, 2022 01:50
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Jose Oquendo posted:I'm confused as poo poo on that too. Like you said, the trailer directly references events from Venom, someone posted a screen cap above indicating Spider-man is a thing on that Earth (but we know Spidey isn't a thing yet on Tom Hardy's Earth). Michael Keaton is also in it as Toomes I assume. Spider-Man: No Way Home spoilers They could easily dump Andrew Garfield's Spider-Man into the Venomverse, or just do what DC is doing with multiple Batmen at once and just make another Spider-Man (though Marvel might get mad at that and disable the golden goose) FlamingLiberal posted:... the in development Kraven movie. lol forgot about that one, is that one of the ones they are trying to get Keanu to do? There was also the Silk and Silver Sable movies but I think they are dead for now. Shocked there isn't a Spider-Gwen live action beyond the animated spinoff Tars Tarkas fucked around with this message at 05:02 on Jan 4, 2022 |
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Jan 4, 2022 05:00
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https://twitter.com/MikeJudge/status/1478562912113508352 Hmmm.... dunno if they are really going to be old or if it is just a bit of the film. Either way, more Beavis and Butt-Head
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Jan 6, 2022 01:35
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What in the world? https://twitter.com/BDisgusting/status/1478755080769875970 Was not what I was expecting to be rebooted/sequeled Also remember Step by Step? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOeZRTR7MPA
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Jan 6, 2022 07:20
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Eraser had the rail gun fight and I think Vanessa Williams but I don't remember the plot at all
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Jan 6, 2022 07:48
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Another casualty lost to streaming https://twitter.com/PixarTurningRed/status/1479548638200094721
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Jan 7, 2022 23:46
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dr_rat posted:Were they purposeful trying to riff on the zodiac look? Yeah they are copying that for this "low-tech" Batman for some reason The Batman is weird because at first it looked good but each new trailer and media piece makes me less and less excited Baron von Eevl posted:Ok but what if the riddler was also a moderately successful Texas politician who no one really likes but he's the incumbent republican in Texas so he keeps getting re-elected anyway? "That tax cut will allow me to build a better Batmobile. I'll get you next fiscal year, Riddler!"
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Jan 9, 2022 20:02
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Batman but he drives a Dodge Caravan and has to drop off Barb at ice skating before stopping that bank robbery
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Jan 9, 2022 22:56
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Who wants some bad news? https://twitter.com/NetflixGeeked/status/1480649398036090880
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Jan 10, 2022 22:46
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Because Raid kills bugs dead!
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Jan 11, 2022 02:45
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I AM GRANDO posted:Who directs all that redbox trash where Willis shows up for a half-day like Cameron Mitchell and they put him in the middle of the poster? People who shoot trash like that probably have pretty good technical proficiency, as they have to shoot quick with like two takes for every scene. https://www.vulture.com/article/randall-emmett-movies.html
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Jan 11, 2022 06:59
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Jon Watts wrote a treatment for Final Destination 6 and will produce it for HBO Maxquote:Lori Evans Taylor (Bed Rest) and Guy Busick, who wrote Ready or Not and worked on the upcoming Scream reboot, are now writing the screenplay. https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-news/final-destination-relaunch-hbo-max-spider-man-director-jon-watts-1235072801/
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Jan 11, 2022 19:47
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Sorry, the no fun movie police are only making movies about red lines now https://twitter.com/DEADLINE/status/1481325489071575042
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Jan 13, 2022 02:47
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Chairman Capone posted:Is the idea of "The Purge" just so widespread now that anyone can make a movie just outright using the concept of the Purge? I'm not 100% convinced they know the Purge is fiction
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Jan 17, 2022 19:45
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https://twitter.com/DonaldClarke63/status/1483550008804884482
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Jan 19, 2022 09:49
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https://twitter.com/NetflixFilm/status/1483801445799505925 Tall Girl 2: 2 Tall 2 Girl
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Jan 19, 2022 21:18
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Police Story rules at least through First Strike, I don't really care for the two reboots. Police Story 3: Supercop is the best because Michelle Yeoh. Who wants another sequel to A Christmas Story? Except this one actually stars Peter Billingsley, who is also producing. quote:... https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-news/a-christmas-story-sequel-peter-billingsley-returns-to-star-1235078399/ Some outlets claim Julie Hagerty will play Ralphie's mom but this is not confirmed as far as I can tell. No clue on if they will get the other child stars back, as far as I know only Zack Ward regularly acts, and the flagpole kid became a porn star and then did advocacy work for former child stars.
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Jan 21, 2022 08:53
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Even without CCP stuff, he abandoned his illegitimate child years ago and his child with his wife (Jaycee Chan) was arrested for marijuana possession, which put the kid in jail for months and killed his career. Jackie Chan gets drunk and interrupts concerts, bangs prostitutes, and beat Jaycee. IIRC the CCP seized on of Jackie's houses because of factional infighting and used unpaid taxes as an excuse (something to do with Chan not being on team Xi Jinping but friends with some other rival bigwig)Casimir Radon posted:I liked The Foreigner a lot but didn’t make it halfway through Bleeding Steel. Bleeding Steel is just insane and I love it, but if you want to watch a normal film it is not that The Foreigner might be his last good movie
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Jan 21, 2022 20:19
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Disney wants that Cats money! "Live-action" Aristocats quote:Disney doesn’t look to be slowing down any time soon when it comes to adapting classic animated pics into live-action features. Sources tell Deadline that an adaptation of The Aristocats is in early development with the studio’s live-action team. Will Gluck and Keith Bunin will pen the script, with Gluck producing through his Olive Bridge Entertainment banner. https://deadline.com/2022/01/live-action-aristocats-pic-disney-1234916566/ Full CG? Animals with moving mouths? Will there be racist cat caricatures? It is all a mystery, all I know is everybody wants to be a cat...
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Jan 21, 2022 21:42
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At least one selkie film was made for Lifetime too a few years ago
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Jan 24, 2022 20:39
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quote:Chris Evans (Avengers franchise, Defending Jacob) is set to star opposite Dwayne Johnson in an upcoming holiday event film from Amazon Studios. I love globe-trotting, four-quadrant action-adventure comedies imagining a whole new universe to explore within the holiday genre, and I'm sure you do, too! Jake Kasdan directs https://deadline.com/2022/01/red-one-chris-evans-to-star-with-dwayne-johnson-in-amazon-action-film-1234918455/
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Jan 25, 2022 21:21
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https://twitter.com/Schwarzenegger/status/1486761095356248064 It's a commercial but lol that they have been given movie status for the past few years
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Jan 27, 2022 19:31
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He-Man movie got moved to Netflix, which has the two current He-Man cartoon shows so it sort of makes sense
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Jan 28, 2022 20:43
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FlamingLiberal posted:I never got the appeal of that show It's basically Conan with techno magic, I loved it as a kid even though the original show is awful if you watch it now (many episodes are free on youtube), but is filled with so much pulp trappings the concepts are awesome The original line was either dead or moved to the revamp where he was in space that was around briefly by the time you would have been old enough to remember it.
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Jan 28, 2022 21:03
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Time to justify the sickos tag:quote:Warner Bros. is in prep for “Barbie,” starring Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling and directed by Greta Gerwig, who co-wrote the screenplay with partner Noah Baumbach. They’re also at script stage on a Hot Wheels film. In July, Netflix will shoot the anticipated remount of “Masters of the Universe,” with Kyle Allen starring as the buff, blonde He-Man. Universal Pictures is at work on a horror franchise based on Magic 8 Ball with Blumhouse, and the studio is bringing Rock ’Em Sock ’Em Robots to life with Vin Diesel. At Paramount, Tom Hanks will embody his childhood favorite Major Matt Mason, the astronaut action figure, with “A Beautiful Mind” screenwriter Akiva Goldsman, and MGM will put forth Polly Pocket with writer-director Lena Dunham and star Lily Collins. Hell yeah, a Betsy Wetsy movie! https://variety.com/2022/film/news/mattel-films-robbie-brenner-barbie-he-man-1235166459/
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Jan 29, 2022 00:07
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Really just look up the He-Man art by Earl Norem and enjoy that as it is great enough to appreciate without nostalgia. There are modern collector lines for the MOTU action figures which are awesome if you collect figures but I already have a different line I collect so I don't really have any. There are a bajillion new toys at the toy store this year, not sure if they will still be around in another year or two when my son will be old enough to care but he might be into something totally new by then I hear the new She-Ra show was good but I never got around to watching it either, we had those toys too as a kid. Master of the Universe is also an avenue into finding out about bootleg toy lines and lines that "play with" He-Man. And you can find out about the Sun-Man toys, which I was shocked to find out are now officially part of the He-Man line, I remember briefly seeing them on the shelf as a kid and I should have bought one.
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Jan 29, 2022 07:19
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Dynasty had Linda Evans, Heather Locklear, and Joan Collins Dallas had Larry Hagman, Victoria Principal, Linda Gray, and Patrick Duffy (for most seasons!) both were on so long by the time I remember anything it seemed like they were always on when I was a kid. I think they both had reboot series (Dallas's was a continuation iirc_
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Jan 29, 2022 23:34
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There is also Blackstar which came out right before Masters of the Universe, rumor is Blackstar was originally going to be black but was changed to ambiguous
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Jan 30, 2022 20:12
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Is this a Grease prequel or a Pink Lady and Jeff prequel?
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Feb 1, 2022 09:10
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Pauly Shore IS Pinocchio Seriously! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4ArXSwALDU
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Feb 2, 2022 00:15
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He played Pinocchio again in 2019
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Feb 2, 2022 00:43
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This is tv but it is also an abomination so https://twitter.com/animatedplus/status/1486900608325996547
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Feb 2, 2022 23:26
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Author Richard Sharpe Shaver basically invented a lot of modern hollow earth mythology with letters and stories in pulp magazines, including ancient languages, and a lot of that he just stole from earlier stuff and reworked. Later in life he did weird stuff with rocks containing secret ancient messages. Most of his wiki entry is just about that https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Sharpe_Shaver A lot of scifi pulps also get way into dianetics which is pretty gross in hindsight as you read through them
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Feb 7, 2022 20:51
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Also more Smurf movies! Probably based on the current cartoon series which is also getting more seasonsquote:Paramount Animation and Nickelodeon Animation are teaming with LAFIG Belgium and IMPS to produce multiple movies based on The Smurfs franchise. https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-news/smurfs-movies-paramount-nickelodeon-1235088093/
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Feb 7, 2022 20:54
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