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DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.
I'd like to make a retraction. In the previous thread I accused David Dees of something that was simply wrong.

I said David Dees was using an e-meter. Which is a psuedo-medical device that uses electric current to supposedly determine your brain activity, used by Scientologists and splinter groups.
This was untrue.
David Dees was using a GB4000. Which is a psuedo-medical device that uses current to supposedly destroy cancer cells used by alt-medicine practitioners. (David Dees claimed that it destroyed bacteria and viruses, but all the top hits are for cancer.) I found no evidence that David Dees participated in a specific religious tradition, instead he had a sort of new age highly syncretic style belief system that incorporated a number of alt-medical ideas.

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DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

Guavanaut posted:

TINA’S PREDICTIONS FOR 2024:
1. Biden won’t cross the finish line in the 2024 election. He’s a dead weight. He’s dragging the Democrats down and Obama is not pleased. Look for a new, fresh face to pop up unexpectedly in the Democrat primary and it won’t be Moochelle or Gavin Nuisance.

2. Will House Republican Speaker Johnson impeach Biden? I doubt it. We may get a sternly worded tweet or a finger wag instead. Remember Johnson was supposed to release the Jan 6th footage—all of it. That didn’t happen.

3. The Deep State lapdogs—Fake News—will become increasingly shrill. Watch them take gaslighting to levels never seen before as their hopes for Biden and Marxism begins crumbling around them.

4. Taylor Swift and her Vaccine Poster Boy will break up. Fans of the Kansas City Chiefs will breathe a sigh of relief.

5. Elon Musk will land on Mars and rename it Planet X.

Keep Us Drawing- Support our work with a small donation, click to donate!

BEN’S PREDICTIONS FOR 2024:
1. To gain better poll numbers, Biden will send American troops into Ukraine. Joe will act like a brave hero and expect both parties to rally behind him. Lindsay Graham certainly will. Biden doesn’t care if he risks WWIII and nuclear annihilation for all of us. The most important thing for Joe is clinging to power in order to pardon his son, Hunter. People may be angry about Joe’s war, but their protests won’t be seen on corporate media, therefore they won’t exist.

2. Climate change hucksters such as Al Gore and John Kerry will demand censorship for those who question the scam that is climate change. They must protect the human cattle from misinformation. You will think as you’re told! You will do as you’re told! The ruling oligarchy will continue to fly their private jets and live in splendor while spewing as much carbon as they like because they are saving the Earth. How dare you!

3. The James Webb telescope will discover endless galaxies that prove the ‘big bang’ was more of an infinity bang. Neil deGrasse Tyson will claim he knew it all along. The bow tie wearing science guy, too.

4. Bill Gates, the most evil man on the planet, will launch another virus to make tens of billions of dollars in profit for himself while helping Joe. Bill’s government operatives will once again demand masks, testing, tracking, lockdowns, and mandatory vaccinations. Sadly, most people will fall in line just like last time because they are statists who consider government and ’the science’ to be god-like and not subject to questioning. The next plannedemic will help the Democrats steal the presidential election again—only this time it must be on a much greater scale because Joe is so despised. More voting machines will be hacked. Trump votes will be changed to votes for Biden. More ballot harvesting will take place. More mail-in ballots from who knows whom. Ballots on pallets will arrive in the dead of night—all votes for Joe. Maybe even the illegals will get to vote. The ruling oligarchy need this to happen because they are saving Democracy. (Their democracy, not yours). We are a constitutional Republic by the way, a Democracy is just mob rule. They don’t want you to know that!

5. The IRS will not attack billionaires or even millionaires. They will target the MAGA-minded middle class. If you are one of them, expect to get audited. If you don’t obey, you risk prosecution. If you are Christian you may even get swatted! You must pay your ‘fair share’ because the Biden administration needs more of your money to send to other countries. That money will be used to fund abortion and encourage the growth of the LBGTQWTF movements as well as sex change surgery for children everywhere.

Oh, falsifiable predictions! Fun! Let's keep score!

Tina
1a. Biden won't win the election.
1b. Someone new (i.e. RFK Jr, does not count) and significant other than Michelle Obama or Gavin Newsome will participate in the democratic primary.
2a. Mike Johnson will not impeach President Biden. (Remember: Passing 'articles of impeachment' constitutes impeachment itself.)
2b. [Implied] Mike Johnson will not attempt to impeach President Biden.
3. Not Falsifiable
4. Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce will break up.
5a. Elon Musk will land at least one piece of hardware on Mars.
5b. Elon Musk will 'rename' Mars to Planet X. Whatever that means.

Ben
1a. President Biden will order troops to engage in combat in Ukraine.
1b. If he does, Lindsay Graham will publically support this action.
1c. If he does, no broadcast news outlet will cover any protest of this action.
1d. (Applies only if Hunter is convicted of at least one crime this year,) Joe Biden will pardon Hunter Biden.
2a. Al Gore AND John Kerry will release statements that specifically demand censorship of climate denial.
2b. gently caress you, Ben. You don't get a free point for Capitialist realism.
3a. The James Webb telescope will discover more galaxies in a way that is scientifically relevant to the Big Bang.
3b. Niel Degrasse Tyson will claim previous knowledge of this.
3c. Bill Nye will claim previous knowledge of this.
4a. A disease will appear that requires a significant portion of the populace to return to work from home conditions.
4b. Biden will win the election.
5. At least one right wing person, worth less than 1 million dollars who claims to be Christian will have their home invaded by law enforcement agents in a story that appears in the (radical right wing, presumably) news.

e: Please feel free to request additions or changes if you see any other details in the lists.

DalaranJ fucked around with this message at 20:16 on Jan 1, 2024

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

The names of over a hundred people which were censored in a deposition against Ghislane Maxwell are being uncensored. This deposition alleges sexual assault by Prince Andrew of the UK. It also alleges that Bill Clinton, who claimed to have not visited Esptein's island, was on Epstein's island.

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

I AM GRANDO posted:

Is Kirschen a protestant Christian now?

That was my question. Why pretend to side with people you were insulting a week ago?

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

Wow, maybe slow down before accusing another country’s fiat currency of being fake debtboy.

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

The Scary Door!

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

Special Kellies Nomination: Worst "If Climate Change, why Weather Disaster?"

DalaranJ fucked around with this message at 05:43 on Jan 17, 2024

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

Ah, the grief understander ha[d] logged on.


I will not eat a single morsel of food until Henry Kissinger is dead and buried!

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.
The presidency of George W Bush did a number on Ted Rall’s brain, but if you consider the reaction of political cartoonists to the presidency of Obama or the presidency of Trump, I think you would come to the accurate conclusion that Ted Rall was, once again, ahead of the curve.

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

Extremely agitated Hitler, screaming nearly incoherently into microphone: "Looks like you've got a lot of growing up to do!"

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

I dont know posted:

In the shock after 9/11 democrats became subservient to Bush and let him start as many wars as he pleased while giving unfunded handouts to the rich and slashing public benefits. Stantis sees this as the pinnacle of good governance.

Ah, it's a "Why can't we go back to a time when everyone publicly hated Muslims" cartoon. I have to admit it was more than a little confusing. But that makes sense as Stantis is nearly* constantly at pains to obscure his bigotry.

*Remember last year, when he said what he really thought once, and it got nominated for worst cartoon multiple times?
I literally don't remember what that comic was about, but I do remember that it was horrifying.

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

You can just say Pokémon.

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

Skios posted:

His journalism credentials consist of 'having a blog' and 'having a YouTube channel'.

"From 2017, Lira was active on YouTube, under the pseudonym Coach Red Pill (CRP)."

Okay, yep, alright.

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

I guess I assumed I would only get one of these but,

Special Kellies Nomination: Worst "If Climate Change, why Weather Disaster?"

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

Guavanaut posted:

Kellies Nomination: Worst "If Climate Change, why Weather Disaster?"

Should I happy or mad that my nomination category is taking off this year? I’m mappy.


There’s like missing pre-panels on this one. They look so shocked. I’m going to assume that a republican just tossed a baby like a football out of the window of that house.

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

I dont know posted:

Oh NO! I'm horrified to learn my Tesla doesn't get 430 miles to the gallon.

Also, nice copy and paste work on the signature, Bok.

I'd like to add that a gas vehicle that was somehow getting 65 mpg is impossibly efficient.

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

100YrsofAttitude posted:

Caught in the middle by Luo Jie


Classic US, quicksanding both legs into the world's slowest nut shot.

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

Just in case you’re wondering, what are the limits when calling out genocide while not being antisemetic?
Literally depicting the blood libel is past the limit.

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

Microplastics posted:

Kellies nomination: Worst label

I know this guy is ancient but bloody hell. This could easily have been a newspaper like what every other cartoonist does to indicate a news item, or at the very least a(nother) speech bubble, but no, it's a sign written in first person AND he's signed it with his name AND his signature has a goddamn exclamation mark

In his defense, Ed lent all of his labeled briefcases to Lisa Benson today.

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.
If you evade tolls, you can't have any $cumpass. How can you have $cumpass, if you evade your tolls?

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

Apple Pie Hubbub posted:

2
Is it Dewey Dawner?


As a reminder, the first think Aunt Sense said was “Hide me, quick!”
Will Stantis remember the storyline of his own cartoon for even a single week?
Stay tuned to find out.

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.
It’s her godmother, so the main character’s last name is not sense. But if you call your godmother both ‘Aunt’ and by their last name, there’s something wrong with you.

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.
Counterpoint: I want Carmen to be half-bear.

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

The Islamic Shock posted:

I don't know about you guys, but as a leftist, whenever I see the Koch brothers turn the money hose on a candidate that's how I know which horse I'm backing

After checking briefly, I haven’t found evidence that Soros is funding Haley despite the fact that it may, from his perspective, be a good idea to do so. I made sure to read articles by far enough right sources that they’d be shouting it from the rooftop if he was.


Did you know? Rivers publishes comics anonymously exclusively for Cagle Cartoons. What could be the motivations for someone to publish cartoons anonymously?

I fully expect them to deny the holocaust by the end of the year.

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

Am I misunderstanding the meaning of shock in this context? Who would be surprised by this result?

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

I've been sleeping for literally 30 years. But I need to go somewhere specific right this instant*, so I can accomplish nothing, and never be mentioned in the cartoon again.

gently caress you, Stantis.

*Carmen Sense died on the way back to her home planet.

DalaranJ fucked around with this message at 17:19 on Feb 3, 2024

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

Emigration. The word you were looking for was emigration.

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

L. Ron DeSantis posted:



Never heard of this person but knowing the Garrisons endorsed her we can get a pretty good idea of what she's like.

I can’t believe they got DOOM playing on a blue wave.

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

Same as it ever was.

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.
Is Gove in favor of or against abandoning democracy?

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

Skios posted:

Michael Ramirez


Wake up, babe! New Ramirez fetish just dropped!

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

the_steve posted:

Yeah. I've come around to the idea that frankly, they must be smarter than a lot of us, because shitheads like them and Gorrell are able to make careers out of turning in blank sheets of paper or verbalizing TV static and we're stuck working jobs that we would largely rather not be.

I like my job, but we have wildly variable workloads and nonzero quality standards so, guess it 's a sucker's game.

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

the_steve posted:

I'm just sayin'
If I could choose between the job I do now where I'm away from home 6+ months out of the year and subject to the risks and dangers inherent in that industry, or hand someone a package of printer paper and be good for the next 52 weeks, and maintain my quality of living with either one, I'm running to the store for the printer paper.

No, I legitimately agree, I would too even with my current job.

DalaranJ fucked around with this message at 04:52 on Feb 20, 2024

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

Alhazred posted:

Why does Saruman have horns? Also, the fact that Saruman the White is a villain kinda undervise the 'it's okay to be white' message. I aslo wonder if and how he will deal with Eowyn dressing as a man.

Gandalf specifically replaces Saruman as the White.
I seem to remember a white supremacist talking point that was relevant to that phrasing, but I guess Ishida didn’t think that hard about it.

JamesBont posted:

Oh no, not digital currency! Now I'll have to pay for everything through my credit card, which has only been a thing since...the turn of the century.

I really want Branco to snap off on a bizarre tangent where he hates on Bitcoin/Etherium.

DalaranJ fucked around with this message at 16:11 on Feb 20, 2024

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

I have no idea how to break down the message of this cartoon, but I am happy someone drew meatshoes.

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

Guavanaut posted:

So why are they taking this line? I can't imagine they (or their editors) are pro-Trump or pro-NATO.

I think they are anti-trump, and they believe their target audience is pro-Nato.

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.
“The rubbish that is written...” - A Political Cartoonist

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.
A political cartoon named “tupping liberty”.

DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

idonotlikepeas posted:

NEMØ



You may think you've seen this already, but no, this is technically a new cartoon. See if you can spot the changes! There are two:

1. Both portraits are zoomed in more.
2. Navalny is now an ultranationalist rather than a neo-nazi "Democrat".

Whatever Cagle is paying this chuckle gently caress it's too much.

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DalaranJ
Apr 15, 2008

Yosuke will now die for you.

100YrsofAttitude posted:

Japan unleashes monster by Cai Meng


I need someone to photoshop Godzilla to an Eva and then change the speech bubble to "3rd impact!".

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