Guavanaut posted:

TINA’S PREDICTIONS FOR 2024:
1. Biden won’t cross the finish line in the 2024 election. He’s a dead weight. He’s dragging the Democrats down and Obama is not pleased. Look for a new, fresh face to pop up unexpectedly in the Democrat primary and it won’t be Moochelle or Gavin Nuisance.

2. Will House Republican Speaker Johnson impeach Biden? I doubt it. We may get a sternly worded tweet or a finger wag instead. Remember Johnson was supposed to release the Jan 6th footage—all of it. That didn’t happen.

3. The Deep State lapdogs—Fake News—will become increasingly shrill. Watch them take gaslighting to levels never seen before as their hopes for Biden and Marxism begins crumbling around them.

4. Taylor Swift and her Vaccine Poster Boy will break up. Fans of the Kansas City Chiefs will breathe a sigh of relief.

5. Elon Musk will land on Mars and rename it Planet X.

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BEN’S PREDICTIONS FOR 2024:
1. To gain better poll numbers, Biden will send American troops into Ukraine. Joe will act like a brave hero and expect both parties to rally behind him. Lindsay Graham certainly will. Biden doesn’t care if he risks WWIII and nuclear annihilation for all of us. The most important thing for Joe is clinging to power in order to pardon his son, Hunter. People may be angry about Joe’s war, but their protests won’t be seen on corporate media, therefore they won’t exist.

2. Climate change hucksters such as Al Gore and John Kerry will demand censorship for those who question the scam that is climate change. They must protect the human cattle from misinformation. You will think as you’re told! You will do as you’re told! The ruling oligarchy will continue to fly their private jets and live in splendor while spewing as much carbon as they like because they are saving the Earth. How dare you!

3. The James Webb telescope will discover endless galaxies that prove the ‘big bang’ was more of an infinity bang. Neil deGrasse Tyson will claim he knew it all along. The bow tie wearing science guy, too.

4. Bill Gates, the most evil man on the planet, will launch another virus to make tens of billions of dollars in profit for himself while helping Joe. Bill’s government operatives will once again demand masks, testing, tracking, lockdowns, and mandatory vaccinations. Sadly, most people will fall in line just like last time because they are statists who consider government and ’the science’ to be god-like and not subject to questioning. The next plannedemic will help the Democrats steal the presidential election again—only this time it must be on a much greater scale because Joe is so despised. More voting machines will be hacked. Trump votes will be changed to votes for Biden. More ballot harvesting will take place. More mail-in ballots from who knows whom. Ballots on pallets will arrive in the dead of night—all votes for Joe. Maybe even the illegals will get to vote. The ruling oligarchy need this to happen because they are saving Democracy. (Their democracy, not yours). We are a constitutional Republic by the way, a Democracy is just mob rule. They don’t want you to know that!

5. The IRS will not attack billionaires or even millionaires. They will target the MAGA-minded middle class. If you are one of them, expect to get audited. If you don’t obey, you risk prosecution. If you are Christian you may even get swatted! You must pay your ‘fair share’ because the Biden administration needs more of your money to send to other countries. That money will be used to fund abortion and encourage the growth of the LBGTQWTF movements as well as sex change surgery for children everywhere.

Technowolf posted:

what....?

I AM GRANDO posted:

Is Kirschen a protestant Christian now?

Apple Pie Hubbub posted:

5

idonotlikepeas posted:

Lisa Benson

Trapezium Dave posted:

Spooner:

BOM = Bureau of Meteorology. El Niño doesn't automatically mean it won't rain. Here's why it's been so wet and stormy for Australia's eastern states (ABC).

Hunt11 posted:

Dr. Yinz Ljubljana posted:

idonotlikepeas posted:

Ed Gamble

I dont know posted:

In the shock after 9/11 democrats became subservient to Bush and let him start as many wars as he pleased while giving unfunded handouts to the rich and slashing public benefits. Stantis sees this as the pinnacle of good governance.

Apple Pie Hubbub posted:

Skios posted:

His journalism credentials consist of 'having a blog' and 'having a YouTube channel'.

L. Ron DeSantis posted:

Guavanaut posted:

Kellies Nomination: Worst "If Climate Change, why Weather Disaster?"

idonotlikepeas posted:

Mike Peters

I dont know posted:

Oh NO! I'm horrified to learn my Tesla doesn't get 430 miles to the gallon.

Also, nice copy and paste work on the signature, Bok.

100YrsofAttitude posted:

Caught in the middle by Luo Jie

Angepain posted:

Microplastics posted:

Kellies nomination: Worst label

I know this guy is ancient but bloody hell. This could easily have been a newspaper like what every other cartoonist does to indicate a news item, or at the very least a(nother) speech bubble, but no, it's a sign written in first person AND he's signed it with his name AND his signature has a goddamn exclamation mark

Apple Pie Hubbub posted:

2
Is it Dewey Dawner?

Apple Pie Hubbub posted:

The Islamic Shock posted:

I don't know about you guys, but as a leftist, whenever I see the Koch brothers turn the money hose on a candidate that's how I know which horse I'm backing

Murdstone posted:

Cloud Potato posted:

Evening Standard:

Brexit: The people’s damning verdict four years on

Apple Pie Hubbub posted:

idonotlikepeas posted:

Dave Whamond

L. Ron DeSantis posted:

Never heard of this person but knowing the Garrisons endorsed her we can get a pretty good idea of what she's like.

Apple Pie Hubbub posted:

Skios posted:

Michael Ramirez

the_steve posted:

Yeah. I've come around to the idea that frankly, they must be smarter than a lot of us, because shitheads like them and Gorrell are able to make careers out of turning in blank sheets of paper or verbalizing TV static and we're stuck working jobs that we would largely rather not be.

the_steve posted:

I'm just sayin'
If I could choose between the job I do now where I'm away from home 6+ months out of the year and subject to the risks and dangers inherent in that industry, or hand someone a package of printer paper and be good for the next 52 weeks, and maintain my quality of living with either one, I'm running to the store for the printer paper.

Alhazred posted:

Why does Saruman have horns? Also, the fact that Saruman the White is a villain kinda undervise the 'it's okay to be white' message. I aslo wonder if and how he will deal with Eowyn dressing as a man.

JamesBont posted:

Oh no, not digital currency! Now I'll have to pay for everything through my credit card, which has only been a thing since...the turn of the century.

Antigravitas posted:

Guavanaut posted:

So why are they taking this line? I can't imagine they (or their editors) are pro-Trump or pro-NATO.

idonotlikepeas posted:

NEMØ



You may think you've seen this already, but no, this is technically a new cartoon. See if you can spot the changes! There are two:

1. Both portraits are zoomed in more.
2. Navalny is now an ultranationalist rather than a neo-nazi "Democrat".

100YrsofAttitude posted:

Japan unleashes monster by Cai Meng