LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

There is a difference between Sagas and drama. The two are often intertwined, but for the purposes of this thread we'll define Sagas as tales or events that people outside of Something Awful, perhaps outside the internet all together (they exist??) would find fun, funny, or otherwise interesting and noteworthy. Drama is when the event in question is doing little but causing a lot of people sadness, frustration, or harm. I understand drama will often find its way into this thread, especially ones that are currently on-going (cough), but please try to keep the thread focused on Sagas instead.

Rationale posted:

So my wife inherited a defunct commercial building with a leaky roof and crumbling corner. $12,000 later it’s dry and sound.

We’re paying taxes on it and waiting for the next thing to cost money so we decided to either sell it or use it.

The building is located by a busy street a few minutes from a 1,000 student high school. Cars go by every ten to fifteen seconds throughout the day with a decent morning rush hour. For this reason I intend to make the building into a drive-through coffee and donuts kind of place. I’d imagine that from 6am to 10am we could conservatively sell 800 drinks and 800 donuts netting double what the two of us make now.-

I’ve sourced a donut machine that claims to be capable of 40 dozen donuts an hour. I’ve been picking up espresso machines and coffee pots when they’re cheap. I can cut concrete, set drains, run gas and water. I’ve been a plumber for ten years and I’ve built quite a few kitchens but I’ve never designed one.

One current sticking point is a grease hood. I’d like a 5x12’ island hood in the middle of the kitchen but I can’t find one.

Then there’s also the layout consideration. I’ve never done much food service work and I’d hate to build my enterprise suboptimally.

Long story short I’m capable of doing most of what needs done I just don’t know exactly what that is. I can budget maybe 75,000 for this because that’s all the time I have before our projected open date and we’re funding this with our wages.

If any of you goons would like to weigh in I’d appreciate it.

Mia Wasikowska posted:

Like the title says! This classic web 1.0 forum has a lot of history!! You guys remember Tribute.avi? Well DID YOU KNOW it was actually tribute.wmv originally?

Some of the Lore discussed so far:
Fingat:
https://www.somethingawful.com/comedy-goldmine/gamecube-challenge-fingat/ and https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3417598

Duke Nukem Forever Launch:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3416433&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1

THE ZIPLINE!!!! A goon favorite:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3290020&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1
https://twitter.com/FoldableHuman/status/1018965087074177024

Doom Bathroom:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3813464%22

Griefing:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2886637

FE8 Reverse Recruitment Hack:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3749611&pagenumber=1&perpage=40

gom owns abe for a month:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3578905

hawaii retreat gone wrong:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=1174437&pagenumber=1&perpage=40

looking for a bento box:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=406683

Let's Play: Phoenix Command: AR-15 vs. 30-50 feral hogs

renfaire guy makes a pasta sauce:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3723305

controllers only mods used:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3856974&pagenumber=1&perpage=40

Ask me about being a birthday party princess:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3502448&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1

Turdiak:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3968160


Darken the Skies of the Third World with Angry Bees:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2722818

Porfiriato posted:

I still enjoy perhaps the most successful av/redtext purchase in forums history.

- click the quote to see the av

Mystery Post DO NOT CLICK:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?noseen=0&threadid=3703099&pagenumber=41&perpage=40#post442993299


How about goverhaus?
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2253640



What made that one extra good was grover was a real doofus. I still remember his famous Iraq war predicitons!

quote:

How long will it take to capture Baghdad? 2 days
Will Saddam be killed? Yes
Total Iraqi civillian casualties: 500 dead
Total military casualties Iraq: 3000 dead
Total military casualties U.S.: 15 dead
Will the Iraqi army regulars hold the lines? No
Will the Republican Guard fight to the end? No
Will chem/bio weapons be used on invading troops?: Yes
Will Saddam launch attacks on the Kurds? Yes
Will Saddam launch attacks on Israel? No
-If yes; will Isreal retaliate harshly? Yes
Will Saddam sacrifice Baghdad (gas/nuke it)? No
Will the Kurds make a grab for independence? Yes
Will Iran do anything silly like try for land? Yes
Will Saddam burn the oil fields? Yes
How long will the US be occupying Iraq? ~15 years
Will the Iraq war catalyze increased terrorism in America?No
In the long run, will this war be good or bad for the world? Good
We have to look at what those civilian casualties are- just because they're civilian doesn't make them innocent! Lets take a look at a few possibilities:
1) A civilian walking down the street to market gets killed by a cruise missile fired at the market.
2) A civilian asleep in their house is killed when their house is targetting by a smart bomb and blown up.
OK, these two are regrettable innocents being killed- but since the US doesn't make a habit of targetting markets or houses, they're very small in number!
3) A civilian working at a chemical weapon factory gets killed when the chemical weapon plant is bombed.
4) A civilian security guard at a weapons depot is killed when the weapons explode.
5) A civilian contractor repairing a tank is killed by a MOAB dropped on the unit.
6) A civilian engineer is killed when the military command center he works at is destroyed.
7) A civilian delivering snackiecakes to the baghdad bunker vending machines eats a 5,000lb bunker buster.
etc, etc. The list goes on. My point is that there are a lot of civilians directly supporting the military that aren't exactly "innocent" and would be mire rightly counted among the military casualties than civilian. I'm a civilian and work for the US military, but I acknowledge I'm also a valid military target because of what I do. And I think the vast majority of civilian casualties in this campaign will not be innocent.

23 March 2023 Edit:

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Maybe I do have a moral aversion to making money because here goes. You could have continued doing this forever if you weren't trying to pin the blame on another user. I read your posts in the GBS thread and thought to myself "drat - who would be dumb enough to buy that avatar in response to those posts?" It seemed to good to be true from your perspective, and well, it was. Why the gently caress would you buy this avatar for yourself? I know you are aware of the ongoing discussion about avatar traceability. The part that has gone unsaid is that I can look up when someone buys an avatar for themselves, and that's what you did here. You log in to the forums to do so and they are associated with your account.


link here:https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?noseen=1&threadid=4027239&pagenumber=20&perpage=40#post530681135

I guess I can see why you said this:

I wish I could say this is the first time you've done this, but it's not. You seem to have used the avatar system to direct death threats at yourself and tell yourself to kill yourself repeatedly and even said that you, yourself should "join the 41%". Why? Why the gently caress would you do that? Mirror universe Koala's March where she sockpuppets negative attention at herself instead isn't any more fun. I maybe get it a little bit up until the point where you start blaming other people for them and manipulatively pretending you don't know what they're referring to.

So yeah, I am averse to making money if it's from someone buying hateful avatars for themselves and trying to pin it on other people.

fake edit: lmfao I swear on my forums life I'm not responsible for that KM avatar - it wasn't there when I started typing this post. Someone else must have puzzled it out.

secret confession:
i bought spr the km avatar

i had just refunded the re4 remake because it wouldn't run on my computer. i had noticed spr had their avs changed a whole bunch in just one day. an unusual amount of times. i had never seen an av changed so many times in such a short period of time on these forums.
what was especially odd was a few things - usually if someone already has a demeaning red text av and they go into another thread and piss that thread off, that thread won't buy them ANOTHER demeaning red text av about slightly different subject matter, because they already have a nasty red text av about denying genocides or whatever.

i also noticed a similarity in style between the writing in spr's redtext (the one screencapped in jeff's post) and some of the posts spr made in cspam's "thread for straight up doing misogyny".https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4027202
I also thought about a post spr made about how all the mods secretly lover her posts and are pming her encouragement and so forth - that reminded me a lot of KM.
That got me thinking about "forums main characters" and what kinds of things people who love drama on internet sites do. Different types of sockpuppeting and so on.

Would I do it again? well, i had no idea jeff was gonna make that post. but if i hadnt gotten lucky and jeff hadnt posted his take down, i would have just been out $10 and regretted it and felt dumb. don't be like me goons. there but for the grace of god etc. im DONE with forums drama.



Anyway, what are YOUR favorite tales, legends, forum history events and so on from Something Awful??

B33rChiller posted:

Just one of the gang. Sagas poster from way back, eh?
Plagiarist dingus, you forgot to find and replace Rhino with Fluff.

Pablo Nergigante posted:

Chrono Trigger.

Radia posted:

i'd love 2 play chrono trigger but i hate jrpgs with rtwp too much.. drat..

euroshopper posted:

The Saddest Rhino posted:

He has claimed that goons who subscribed to their only fans or whatever were huge fans of their work. Sometimes he would get into a meltdown because someone made an offhand comment about how America sucks. He also claimed to be a born again orthodox Christian

Elviscat posted:

Kinda seems like "lying about cancer" should be a perma offense, just imo.

Hot Diggity! posted:

Wild how both the Cspam and GBS Trump threads are populated with the worst posters and a ton of weird freaks

Leal posted:

I seem to remember someone getting pissed off at this that they took a picture to paper bag test themselves and on the bag they wrote "gently caress YOU KOALAS MARCH"

Frank Frank posted:

Maybe there were two incidents but I vividly remember the one where a guy wrote “gently caress so-and-so” on a paper bag and posted the pic but I don’t think KM was involved at all.

Frank Frank posted:

Yeah that’s the one.

MarcusSA posted:

What kinda bougie fucker owns a piano?

16-bit Butt-Head posted:

yuffie in rebirth owns

Dr. Cool Aids posted:

lol what

Daikatana Ritsu posted:

there are so many more ways to flame someone, i promise you

pls learn the craft ffs

16-bit Butt-Head posted:

sometimes i like to lol at politics and world events but posting about that stuff nonstop will drive you insane

Daikatana Ritsu posted:

lol i forgot you played wormskull in sf6, that was tight

Daikatana Ritsu posted:

https://clips.twitch.tv/HungryToughNostrilPJSugar

Dr. Cool Aids posted:

Wow. A disease that wiped out 50 million people is "fun" is it?

Coolguye posted:

imho you should simply be relieved. i've made moves a few times in those situations and regretted it 100% of the time.

this is not a joke post con tail is just not worth it at all

Stux posted:

ffx is far superioer.

Daikatana Ritsu posted:

I think XIII-2 is better gameplay wise and therefore the better game, but X-2 is unfathomably Based.

NoiseAnnoys posted:

just because what if it’s not as good as i remember, mostly. it’s not like an anime that aged badly because it had weird content or anything as far as i remember.

ah what the hell, why not? it’s not like I’m goin anywhere for the next few days

also that opening song still slaps

Heath posted:

The side quests in 16 get really dire

Heath posted:

The ones revolving around the main cast at the end are alright but for some reason they saw fit to absolutely bloat the gently caress out of the final chapter of the game with quests. They're all abysmal and offer very little benefit to do them and every time you finish one it opens 3 more like a loving hydra of poo poo. But if I have unfinished side quests I always feel like I need to do them or I'm going to miss some thing that might actually be cool

The back half of 16 ricochets so wildly between some of the highest highs in gaming and the absolute bottomed out pits of the worst things about modern game design. Everything on the critical path is awesome and great and tight, but all of the side stuff really works to the detriment of the game overall because it's just bloat. To their credit they gave the bloat a lot of story padding to try and make it have at least some texture but 3/4 of the side quests boil down to the same formula.

NPC: Oi, me nan's been missin' for two days, she went to investigate a rock called Bahamut's Ballsack
Clive: That sounds bad
NPC Nan: Oi, I've been investigating this rock, it's related to Bahamut somehow. Wait, look there
*4 bandits identical to the ones you were fighting five chapters ago amble up slowly in the same formation as the last twenty quests you've done*
Bandits: Oi, we'll be takin your research
Clive: *draws sword* This is one Ballsack you won't be robbing

Then you have a super boring fight and finish the quest and you get an accessory that's slightly better than one you got from the last quest, repeat until you die

I'm looking forward to a NG+ game where I can just not do the side quests and hope it changes my opinion of the game but I had a severely Persona 5-ish time with it where my hype levels were very high and it was a slow descent into what ended up feeling like a better-than-average game with some big gaping flaws in it. I hope the DLC adds some compelling reasons to play because I've been stuck at the very end of the game with no will to pick it back up because the last chapter's bloat killed my motivation

Alaois posted:

i dont think most of the people i'm talking about have even seen the show, is the really stupid part

Coolguye posted:

i havent played ff16 because it's not on pc but clive came off as a real dumbass in the ff14 crossover

Alaois posted:

I appreciate the SaGa games, anthropologically

lobster shirt posted:

i think we are going to get an epic sad thread once the US presidential campay gets truly underway

Improbable Lobster posted:

he's a legit good character and john dimaggio does a good voice, it's just funny to talk about how fantay-racist he was


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BWaw9dMZ4s