r/relationships: SPRAYING A FRAGRANCE ON MY PENIS

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: SPRAYING A FRAGRANCE ON MY PENIS

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

mystes posted:

Maybe if your kids have food allergies you should tell them not to loving eat random food people leave out if they don't know what's in them.

Agreed, but per the comments, it's even more than that:

OP posted:

I scribble down the ingredients on whatever sticky note I post onto the food.

Maybe she should teach her kids to read the ingredients list and "remember that time we had to rush to the hospital, that's why it's important to always check".

MagusofStars fucked around with this message at 02:50 on Apr 3, 2024

# ¿ Apr 3, 2024 02:48

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 01:31

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Hughlander posted:

AITAH for going out with friends for the weekend after my wife locked me out of the bedroom and gave me the silent treatment.

She is pissed but not enough to lock me out.

She regularly ignores him, they're constantly fighting over trivial bullshit, she locks him out of rooms in the house, he disappears for an entire weekend without regrets, they trade off the silent treatment, and he's already reserved-in-advance his future right to disappear for days at a time.

But she's not quite pissed off enough to physically lock him out of the house, so y'know, going great! :toot:

# ¿ Apr 5, 2024 01:26

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

AITA For not letting my wife hijack a free vacation

quote:

One of my (39M) hobbies is entering raffles, sweepstakes, radio contests, etc. I've won tickets to concerts, sporting events, some household items, gift cards, but never a grand prize like a car or vacation. Until last month when I won a free trip for 4 people to Florida for 5 nights. Obviously, I was super excited and told my wife (38F) about it right away.

After our initial excitement wore off and we started talking about details, it became apparent we had conflicting ideas about this trip. Before I could even make suggestions about what I want this trip to be, my wife brought up how excited her 11-year-old daughter would be and how we could go to Disney, Sea World, etc. She then said that we can bring her mom with to help watch her daughter so that we could have some time for ourselves.

She was so excited about it and was getting wrapped up in planning things without even hearing what I wanted. I told her that all of that sounds like fun, but I was thinking that we could invite another couple and have it be an adult-only trip instead of bringing my stepdaughter and MIL with.

She did not like my idea one bit and told me that she wouldn't feel right taking a free trip like that and leaving her daughter behind. She also said that her mom has never been to Florida and this would be a perfect opportunity for her to go there. We argued back and forth a little bit before deciding to take a break and come back to it before telling anyone about it.

Well, that lasted about 24-hours before my wife let it slip to her daughter that I had won a trip. So, of course stepdaughter immediately got excited about it and started looking into all the things she wants to do.

I asked my wife why she told her daughter and she said it was an accident, which, come on. It started a fight between us and emotions got a little high. I told her she was wrong to bring her daughter into this after we agreed to wait and that I never agreed to take stepdaughter or MIL on this trip. I told her that I was the one who won the trip and she was acting like this was something specifically for her.

She told me I was being selfish and that we should include those closest to us in something like this, especially when neither stepdaughter or MIL have ever been to Florida. She said that bringing another couple and leaving her daughter home would be cruel, especially now that she's so excited about it.

I told her that her daughter is only excited about it because she decided to blab to her about it instead of waiting like we had agreed. I told her if she wants to bring her daughter and MIL then she can also pick someone else to go with because I would rather stay home by myself than go on a vacation that where I don't get to be involved in any decisions.

I said that if she wants to go that route, she certainly can, but I'm not paying for any of it (we have separate finances). Now she thinks I'm being a jerk and should be happy about having a free family trip.

Well that seems pretty weird, why would you have a Disney vacation and exclude the 11-year old?

OP posted:

Yes, she is my step-daughter and I did refer to her that way in the post. Not sure why so many people are hung up on phrasing and using it to try and infer any deeper meanings into our lives other than word choice. My stepdaughter and I get along fine and I love her. But that doesn't mean I want to spend this trip waiting in lines at Disney or Universal. The trip isn't even to Orlando, it's to Fort Myers. So, getting to Disney would require a lot more work than my wife thinks it will.

OP posted:

Yes, she knows the destination of the trip. But I don't think she grasps how big Florida is and how much of a hassle it would be to get to Orlando from Fort Myers, even just for one day. I think she just heard "Florida" and her mind immediately went to Disney.

Okay, yeah that makes sense. Lol at the wife imagining a Disney vacation when their trip is to a completely separate city which is a 6+ hour round-trip drive away.

MagusofStars fucked around with this message at 03:29 on Apr 5, 2024

# ¿ Apr 5, 2024 03:25

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

mystes posted:

"they were going to announce it and that they want to get married at the reception" = "at the reception, they were going to announce... that they want to get married" I think

That was my read too. At the reception, they grab the microphone from the DJ and be like "Hey everybody guess what! Jenny is pregnant! And Jenny, will you marry me?"

Also, :lmao:

at the brother rescheduling the honeymoon, then leaving their phones behind as a distraction to buy extra time to flee the country in the getaway car.

# ¿ Apr 8, 2024 15:56

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I've been married twice and I can't remember the last time I looked at any of the pictures.

Heck, even if Amy is the exact opposite and does look at the photos regularly, that would still argue in favor of having the family there because it's a nice memory. The fact that he's holding a cane or whatever in the photo won't even register, you'll just think about how nice it was to share that moment.

AceClown posted:

this is your brain on social media

Good guess.

OP posted:

Amy is very perfectionistic when it comes to events, and she has some social media following that she has to maintain the image for. It doesn�t excuse her actions, though, not in the slightest. Guess just eloping won�t bring her that much online attention.

I also found this while looking for the comments of the wedding photo story:
AITA for having an underwhelming reaction to my mom being pregnant?

quote:

My parents told me (15f) a few weeks ago that they're expecting another baby. This will be my first sibling and possibly only sibling because it took such a long time for my mom to have another baby. I'll admit to not being that excited. And that really hurt my mom's feelings. When they sat me down and told me I said oh and didn't really react much but I was really surprised and also had like a lot of thoughts that happened so quickly and admittedly most of them weren't that positive. My mom was really upset by my underwhelming initial reaction and my parents aren't super thrilled that after a few weeks I'm not more excited.

My mom was crying the other night because 10ish years ago I used to beg for a sibling and now it's finally happened and I'm not reacting like they wanted or expected.

My dad was so pissed when mom cried to him and he told me how disappointed he was in me that I was underreacting so badly. He said having a sibling is a blessing and our family is getting bigger and I wanted a sibling for such a long time when I was younger and now it's like I don't want one.

AITA?

quote:

My parents have always believed if there is a 10+ year age gap between siblings that the older one has a duty and responsibility to babysit for the parents when they want and to help take care of the baby day to day regardless of what they have going on. So I know to expect babysitting at least once (but likely twice) a week once the baby gets here and I know I will need to help feed and comfort the baby no matter what I'm doing if my parents are trying to do something else. This feels like a burden and I'm already aware that I won't get free time like I used to and I won't see my friends as often and doing homework will be harder. My parents have had these views as long as I can remember and they're vocal about them. So I already know what to expect. This is by far the thing that makes me feel the most negative about the new baby coming.

# ¿ Apr 8, 2024 17:30

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

wheatpuppy posted:

But she's a girl. Of course he expected to beat her.

This would also explain why a guy in his late 30's (or older?) thinks he can beat a state champion swimmer.

I wonder if he's also part of the irrationally confident 8% of Americans who think they can win hand-to-hand combat against elephants and lions and bears.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2024 00:41

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

FMguru posted:

When they started to ban smoking in public spaces in the 1980s, some of the greatest resistance came from bar and restaurant owners who predicted it would decimate their businesses. In reality, their businesses flourished because people were more willing to go out to places where they could breathe and also not come home with all their clothes stinking like smoke.

State-wide bans on smoking in the US started in the mid-90's and yes, some of the biggest pushback was bar owners and politicians talking about how it would ruin small businesses and drive investment to other states. A few months after the ban in New York was passed, I was chatting with a distant relative who owns a bar in upstate New York so of course a natural question was how it was working out.

He said the state-wide smoking ban was one of the best things that had ever happened to his bar: The smokers who go out drinking stayed away for a couple weeks before coming back because hey turns out they still needed somewhere to drink, while the bans let them attract a whole new crowd of people who just wanted a quick beer after work with co-workers or enjoyed darts/billiards, but would never have come when it was a smoke-filled room.

# ¿ Apr 10, 2024 15:20

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Neito posted:

It depends on the state, at least in the US. A pack is $13 bucks here in MA, but like $5 in NH.

Is it partly because NH doesn't have professional sports teams but MA does?

I've never lived in either state, but every single time a city I've lived in has needed to raise money for a new sports stadium, they've used a "sin tax" on alcohol and smoking to defray the cost. "No, no, we're raising your taxes to give away hundreds of millions of dollars to a wealthy billionaire, because you personally can just not buy cigarettes/beer/etc!"

# ¿ Apr 10, 2024 17:32

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Shanghaied posted:

AITA For flipping out on my fiance after her daughter almost got me arrested

Cop-lover guy also later argues that 'the cops weren't even called' as though the actual uniformed cop who told OP to leave somehow doesn't count?

Fortunately, that's just one idiot; the overwhelming response seems to be the correct answer of NTA and also note Riley was willing to lie (and miss her own injury rehab appointment) in such a serious way.

# ¿ Apr 13, 2024 11:59

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

3D Megadoodoo posted:

Most managers have absolutely no idea how to do any productive work.

Absolutely true, but even if he doesn't know jack poo poo, it's a call center. I feel like if he wanted to, he probably could have bullshitted his way through a two-hour shift using a combination of the prepared script, the checklist of common answers (have you tried restarting your computer?), putting customers on hold to buy time, some rear end-pulls about "our tech team is working on this very issue" and so forth. Customers might not get their issues solved because he doesn't actually know how to solve their problems, but he probably could have basically played for time until Best Employee comes in to start actually answering poo poo correctly.

Of course, that would mean he'd need to come in on the day they're normally closed (read: weekend or holiday) and I'm sure as poo poo not giving up *my* day off.

# ¿ Apr 14, 2024 13:41

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

AKA Pseudonym posted:

AITA for kicking out my wife's friend for saying that I am disgusting for feeding each other food with our hands?
My wife Sidney & I are extremely close. We do almost everything together; brush, have food, showering.

It's nice that you enjoy spending time together but y'all can't handle being apart for the couple minutes it takes you to brush your teeth? Really?

# ¿ Apr 15, 2024 23:09

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Big Bowie Bonanza posted:

He could very well be trustworthy but it sounds like none of them (except for her, to a point) know you shouldn�t shovel money you can�t afford to lose into a failing business.

Also, none of them can do math, apparently.

$30k offering to repay $300/month would take over 8 years, just for the principal, even if you don�t consider interest, never miss a payment, etc. That�s a crazy long period to �loan� money; longer than a car loan.

# ¿ Apr 16, 2024 15:45

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

hawowanlawow posted:

dude has a problem with forfeiting and then cites chess, people forfeit chess games on the reg

People do, but interestingly, chess is actually game that you actually shouldn't resign, because the game there's always the possibility your opponent massively fucks up - hanging a piece out to dry to let you back in the game, accidentally removing all your legal moves so it's a draw, or straight up lets you checkmate them (allowing a rook to checkmate a king in the back row is a very common one here).

At least when we're talking about the average player. If you're an Elo-rated master or something, fine, you can safely trust your opponent will close it out appropriately, but you'd be shocked at how often casual or intermediate players will have a clearly winning scenarios and completely face-plant.

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for arguing/getting upset at a zookeeper, during a private tour of the zoo?
What also made me laugh was a zookeeper showing up in the comments confirming that, yes, the big cats do in fact create ungodly waste horrors that can make visitors vomit on a good day, even providing proof I'm too scared to click on

If I was on that tour, the fact that the zookeeper wouldn't even risk opening the door would scare me enough to nope right out. There's some stuff you just can't un-smell.

This also reminds me of one of my favorites from the last thread, someone who somehow went to college for zoology without any understanding how animals work:
AITA for abruptly quitting my volunteer work with pelicans?

quote:

I study zoology in University, and as part of our degree we're supposed to get a certain amount of field experience (also most good zoos / animal internships demand it). So when our ornithology professor mentioned a volunteer opportunity with pelicans through some local group, I thought that sounded cool and I signed up, and was one of two students chosen. It was supposed to be us 2 and a professional helping to "band" young pelicans for research, where you slip a little band around their ankle that's unobtrusive to the birds but useful for tracking purposes.

So the three of us got out to the island, for a long day of pelican-banding. The professional showed us how to do it and how to deal with an uncooperative pelican, and then I gave it a try on one and did it right...but then the third pelican I tried it on vomited all over me as I was doing it. I let it go and started gagging, and felt really nauseated. My whole lap and shirt were covered in it and the smell was horrendous. I just sat there retching and trying to wipe it off but to not much avail. After a few minutes the professional said "Hey, come on, we've got a lot more to do...I've been puked on too already, nothing to worry about." But I said no, I'm not going to go get puked on 10 more times today while doing this, I can't handle that.

He got annoyed and said "really, you're going to leave 3 people's work with just 2 people for the day? We said it would be messy work," I thought well, not this messy... So I just sort of sat there for a few hours while they worked and tried to distract myself from my vomit-stained shirt with my phone until it was time to leave...the trip back was hell too, they both stunk so bad I couldn't take it. Needless to say my professor is mad at me but I'm not sure what I was supposed to do, I would have gotten sick myself if I kept at it...so I feel like I did the best I can.

Maybe I'm naive but I highly doubt day-to-day zoo work could be as foul as getting fish-puke vomited on you all day...I've volunteered with animals before and been fine, this was just too much.

Admiral Joeslop posted:

AITA for abandoning my boyfriend in Disney World after he threw a tantrum about a park map?

Theoretically, I'm on this dude's side. I really enjoy having a paper map of the park because it's a nice quick reference rather than having to pull out my phone, unlock the screen, open the app, zoom into my location, blah blah blah. Especially if all I need is a "which direction are we heading?" quick check, the map is so much faster and easier.

But lmao at him calling it "a battle for the soul of the park" as though he's going to change the mind of a $30 billion theme park division by shouting his desire for justice at whatever random teenager/college kid happens to be working the Guest Services booth that day.

# ¿ Apr 18, 2024 15:52

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Captain Hygiene posted:

I've never been to a restaurant that switched entirely to QR code menus, so I'm out of touch. Do they commonly go beyond that for ordering, if you don't have a smartphone could you just go "hey, you got any burgs" or whatever to the waitstaff to order something?

In most of the QR code restaurants I've been to, there's still a wait staff that takes your order, so even if you don't have a smartphone, you can ask the server and they can sort of rattle off a few of the staples.

The Alchemist posted:

The waiters are roombas and the manager is an A.I. that hates the humankind.

I know you're making a joke, but the food delivery roombas are absolutely a thing that exists in restaurants. I went to a sushi conveyor belt place a couple weeks ago that has these sorts of robots to deliver special orders. They have little cat-eye emojis and an output screen listing off what it's doing at any given moment ("delivering food to Table 15", "returning to kitchen" or whatever). The restaurant still has a greeter to show you to your table, bussers to clean tables, cooks in the back, etc but no human is involved with the actual serving process of transporting the food from the kitchen to the table...so we're not quite at that hellscape restaurant you're describing yet, but it's at least visible on the horizon.

Here's what they look like by the way, in case anyone's curious:
https://www.robotlab.com/restaurant-robots/store/bellabot

# ¿ Apr 18, 2024 18:20

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Mordiceius posted:

I've definitely worked with companies where the policy was "You get <x> amount of petty cash per diem per day - spend it how you wish." and I would know some people that would starve themselves or just eat ramen in their hotel rooms so they could pocket and extra $20 a day.

In terms of per-diem for meals and incidentals, that�s common. Your employer has a set reimbursement rate per day for meals and incidentals (likely based on the official IRS rate) and they just hand you that much money to split up however you see fit - a light breakfast and big dinner if you wish or three decent sized meals or maybe a $5 coffee and a bunch of small meals or whatever. The purpose is to avoid wasting time on a bunch of small receipts for every little thing and wasting time arguing over a $2 coca-cola from the vending machine where you didn�t get a receipt.

I have NEVER heard of that applying to airline ticket reimbursement though. That sounds like straight up embezzlement to me.

# ¿ Apr 18, 2024 20:34

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Moon Slayer posted:

AITA for not inviting my mentally unstable cousin to my wedding

The "I am not a bigot, sexuality is not relevant" post has Reddit asking lots of questions which are already answered by the post.

Sex Farm posted:

That story is confusing. What could the family possibly want the OP to say that would help them in any way? It doesn't even seem like the OP is involved in any of it?

Two potential options:
1.) OP, we're going to lie about how we had no idea this involved money laundering for the Soprano family, we need you to back up our lie by telling the police you've never met Tony before in your life.
2.) Who wants to play a fun game of "taking the fall to keep the rest of the family clean"? OP, we're going to pin this on you and we'd appreciate if you just went with it because family.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2024 10:56

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Kurieg posted:

AITA for gatekeeping my recipes from my one upper DIL

The correct move here is to just give in and hand over the recipes.

Not the real recipes of course, the absolute worst ones you can find online. Why yes, my pasta sauce is indeed made with tomato soup instead of tomatoes and maple syrup as the secret ingredient. Don�t tell anybody. Oh, you brought it to Thanksgiving this year and people are complaining about the taste? No idea, maybe you over-cooked it :shrug:

# ¿ Apr 22, 2024 16:09

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

DeeplyConcerned posted:

But we need to remember here: The OP is not an alcoholic. They just have a really high alcohol tolerance. And really tend to cut loose as soon as there's not someone around directly controlling how much they drink.

Yes, but have you considered there�s no difference between the boss having �one small beer� and downing six shots? It�s basically the same thing, right?

Midnight Voyager posted:

Ugh, the worst part of this for me is every word they say about sleep. If he sleeps through the alarm, maybe he's fuckin tired. Maybe he needs some fuckin sleep.

The worst part for me is there isn�t even any mention of the game being the reason he�s sleeping in! Like, if he�s sneaking out of his bedroom at night into the computer room and playing till 3 am, maybe you could argue for a punishment (not destroying the game, but restricting computer access or something). But that�s not mentioned in the post and you know drat well up-own-rear end parent would have included a detail like that. This is just teaching a lesson by destroying something he enjoys.

# ¿ Apr 23, 2024 12:15

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Invisible Clergy posted:

ULPT request: How to get buried money out of backyard that isn't my property

This will end well.

Pretty sure the money isn�t even legally the friend�s any more. If you�re selling the land with the house, the default is that you own *everything* on your acreage, from the Earth�s core extending all the way up.

# ¿ Apr 23, 2024 14:03

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

DemoneeHo posted:

The grudge

I can't tell whether the scenario is (a) Elizabeth was so focused on her anger that she just flat out ignored everybody's warnings about it being close by or (b) she knowingly scheduled the wrong city to try to make it blow-back on Jenny because maybe if our admin had done her drat job it wouldn't have fallen on me to schedule things and this mistake wouldn't have happened.

# ¿ Apr 23, 2024 21:47

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

artsy fartsy posted:

TIFU by not telling my doctor how many Tic-Tacs I eat per day
Edit: Just wanted to clarify that I'm aware that sugar will in fact make you gain weight (I'm not that stupid), but I never actually read the product ingredients. I assumed they must have been made with something like Xylitol or some other artificial sweetener to make them "0 calories" so it never crossed my mind to check!

I'm not stupid, I just assumed that eating several hundred pieces of candy every single day is totally cool.

# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 13:17

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

trickybiscuits posted:

Help! My Mother Kept a Haunting Memento From My Childhood.

What

Mom was just being prepared in case she ever needed a lock of hair to form a magical conduit. Smart move, not sure why more parents don't do this.

# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 02:23

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Shanghaied posted:

I account for almost every variable, except for my wife thinking that my plan is dumb as poo poo.

Also lmao that's one hell of a sentence lol.

Other people have feelings, opinions, and agency?

Beep boop, warning warning, variable not recognized, does not compute.

Solution: Ignore unrecognized variable and continue with plan.

# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 21:35

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

wilderthanmild posted:

Not from Reddit, but got this from a Facebook group:

I hope he sang along with the song.

Did he play both Parts 1 and 2 back to back? Or just skip straight to Part 2?

I assume he didn�t also play the Weird Al joke version Part 3, but at that point, I�d almost respect the commitment to the bit.

# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 04:05

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Lottery of Babylon posted:

AITA for insisting that a closed friendship breakup happened over the phone instead of over text?
Curious about the things u/copaceticconvert is deliberately not saying here, but lol at trying to my-way-or-the-highway someone who literally just told you she's chosen the highway.

I wonder how she'd describe the argument from her side, because his CliffNotes version of "I think religion can help building communities, she thinks young people are too busy to do so" isn't even REMOTELY enough to cause a friendship-ending rift. poo poo, that's a discussion that religions themselves have internally all the time, dating back decades if not centuries.

# ¿ Apr 30, 2024 13:22

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

DreamingofRoses posted:

This woman is so bad with money and he is 100% right to keep their finances separate but the line:

bothers me for some reason. And buying a house without telling your long term partner earlier in the process (before closing) seems kind of shady too. They both need to get away from each other and this woman needs a financial literacy course and better therapy.

My guess for the home-buying is that he knew that (1) putting her dog-poo poo finances as a co-owner on the loan application would kill his chances of getting a loan BUT (2) she'd flip her poo poo about not being included on the loan application in the exact way she's showing in the comments - "he should be happy to invest in a house with me", "love should trump finances", "why does he care more about his mortgage broker than me", and so forth. So he didn't tell her in the process because he suspected (correctly!) that she'd gently caress it up.

No idea why he was seemingly still planning on getting married though. If you're at the point where you decide that you can't even trust her to have a reasonable adult discussion about it, why in the world were you going to get married and legally entwine your finances in (checks post) less than two months?

# ¿ May 2, 2024 11:51

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

mystes posted:

Not involving her in the financial stuff is clearly justified but totally excluding her from the process of looking for a house and just suddenly saying "I bought a house" does not seem good

The ideal solution to this problem would be that you look for a house together, then when it comes time to start discussing finances and filling out paperwork, she completely vanishes from the conversations - not on the loan application, not listed as co-owner, no mention whatsoever that she exists.

But that would require her to be willing to accept that. Based on her complete financial illiteracy and comments, I don't really think she would. To me, it reads like if she knew the process was happening, she would have expected and demanded to be on the applications and documents for their "family investment" and to show that he cares more about love than the "mortgage lender's judgment" and etc.

# ¿ May 2, 2024 15:00

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

DreamingofRoses posted:

Aita for not telling my girlfriend about my savings?
Well now that I work full time for the past 2-3 years I have roughly $30,000 more or less. (...) But she started talking about she doesn�t need to work if I have that type of money.

This feels like the origin story of the woman from a couple pages ago with zero financial literacy who talked about how her fiancee "cares more about the mortgage lender's opinion than love".

FMguru posted:

AITA for putting a lien on my brother's house and refusing to remove it until he pays me.
Bro was absolutely never going to pay that bill, good on OP for tightening the screws and refusing to back down.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0c3bhh8fqYs

Smart contractor. "gently caress you pay me" is the freelancer/small business owner's mantra; you either learn that real drat quick or you go out of business real drat quick.

There's a great business explainer video on YouTube from about a decade ago which uses this mantra as a foundation for a talk on the importance of contracts. About 25 minutes long, but it's legit one of the best (and reasonably entertaining) explanations of how to handle contracts and contract disputes that I've seen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVkLVRt6c1U

# ¿ May 3, 2024 01:10

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Hellblazer187 posted:

I don't think kids starve to death by having a late dinner.

How are 10 and 11 year olds incapable of putting a TV dinner in the microwave, or making a cheese sandwich, or whatever.

Arsenic Lupin posted:

This is the correct answer. Freezer full of TV dinners (yeah, I'm old, too), bread, peanut butter and jelly, cereal, milk. They are fully capable of feeding themselves. You could even parent up and teach them to use the oven to make frozen pizza!

Whoa, whoa, slow down there buddy. Do actual parenting? That sounds like way more work than just dumping it on their free babysitter step-sibling.

# ¿ May 7, 2024 01:42

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Hughlander posted:

I�m 27F in a love triangle with a 25M and 26M. Who do I pick?

[/b]
The Aristocrats! (Any takers on the bet the private information is that she was cheating on Aaron with Paul and you should make an informed decision before taking a cheater back?)

That's definitely what happened. Re-read that third update of her conversations with Aaron again, carefully and you might note that she didn't include any mention of her cheating. There's more details in a comment/reply thread on the post:

Redditor posted:

If you don't admit to cheating on him then you haven't "grown as a person"

OP posted:

If he asks me, I will tell him the truth. I'm not bringing it up because I want to focus on our future, not our past. I have grown because the old me focused too much on the past. That's why I got back with Paul in the first place. But now it's time to look forward. That being said if he ask I will be honest and tell him the truth

Redditor posted:

Also how do you know the cheating won't come out in the future? That someone else ( perhaps Paul) will tell him? That would hurt him so much more.

OP posted:

Have you considered he doesn't want to know? That's why he didn't ask. Again if he ask I will tell him, but he might prefer to leave it in the past as well.

Redditor posted:

You aren't giving (Aaron) a chance. He asked why you were breaking up with him so technically he did ask you. You just chose to keep some of the details to yourself. Once again all about you.

OP posted:

When (Aaron) asked me why I'm breaking up with him I told him I'm still in love with Paul and I'm going to give it shot�That directly answers his question.

OP apparently operates under the rules of mythical creatures, where she will answer a question honestly, but only the exact question asked.

# ¿ May 7, 2024 20:37

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

mystes posted:

If that explanation is true, then OP's fiance is clearly not suited to working as a police officer and should probably consider a different career

Especially with the new job he's accepted. If you think the City Department of Police plays fast-and-loose with standards, you ain't seen nothing yet compared with being a sheriff in the rear end-end of nowhere.

# ¿ May 8, 2024 22:51

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Chewbecca posted:

He should fly to Europe, take a balloon ride, watch the sunset, not ask to see tits and arse from a family member on his deathbed lol

Or learn to use the Internet and see all the tits and rear end he could ever want.

FMguru posted:

Here's a small stakes one.

AITA for ordering meals for my children when we go out with friends?

What on earth?

My guess is the new wife already decided she hated OP, just wanted out of there, and then just snapped.

# ¿ May 10, 2024 11:37

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Kenshin posted:

Is a 25k pound salary...a lot? That seems like near poverty line wages

I found a UK statistics website via Google that says 25k pounds puts you at around the 20th percentile of salaries, while 44k puts her around the 70th percentile even without accounting for the extra tips.

No idea if that technically counts as poverty under UK definitions.

# ¿ May 12, 2024 04:58

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

house of the dad posted:

It sounds like she's continued to hold this stance in the years since the affair, so not really. Faildaughter needs to figure out her own money problems.

Also, 22 years is definitely old enough to understand that �justifying mom�s affair as deserved� is being intentionally hurtful. It�s not like she was 7 and doesn�t even know what an affair is.

# ¿ May 13, 2024 23:16

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

ApplesandOranges posted:

Funnily enough, I think How I Met Your Mother actually aged worse than Friends despite being a more 'modern' show about a bunch of dating 20-somethings, because Ted is even whinier than Ross and Barney is less ethical of a womanizer than Joey. Has some okay parts but the entertainment value drops like a rock after the first couple seasons.

Ted is also a shitbag, in a way that�s very noticeable if you watch it again. Barney is the most blatantly problematic so much so that he distracts from Ted�s shittiness on first viewing, but Ted is pretty horrible too.

# ¿ May 14, 2024 15:14

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Kurieg posted:

AITA for not making my kids go with my ex's wife and their children or inviting them to join us on Mother's Day?

Huh. Wonder what the actual reason is here, because there�s no loving way they flew in from out of state with zero notice just to randomly hang out.

My guess would be using the 12/14 yr old OP�s kids as free child care.

# ¿ May 15, 2024 16:13

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

FMguru posted:

The fifteen year old bouncing excitedly on her dad's lap whenever a car commercial came on is a pretty detail, as is the dad's claim that the car just happened to show up at the exact time of the OP's valedictorian celebration (car deliveries don't just happen at random times, those things are usually very tightly scheduled, and for obvious reasons).

I�m sure the dad knew it was happening and just was expecting OP to just play along and pretend it�s all fine; OP�s disappearing blew that plan up and helped spotlight for other attendees just how lovely it was.

Another noticeable detail is that the dad�s reaction was only an excuse/apology for the timing - not the actual purchase or difference in how he�s treating his kids.

# ¿ May 15, 2024 19:53

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

wheatpuppy posted:

The other night, right before bed, I had a thought about a surefire situation where it would be ok to pull a prank. It was so apt, I made sure to make a note of it before going to sleep, so I would remember it later.

In the morning when I checked, my notepad was blank. I did kinda chuckle at that. So I guess the only person it's ok to prank is ... yourself?

Sounds like your pre-sleep subconscious mind owned you with a pretty good prank. I believe that means you need to one-up that part of yourself with an even better prank.

# ¿ May 17, 2024 18:07

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 01:31

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

FMguru posted:

AITA for refusing to change my wedding date to accommodate my sister's vacation plans?

In situations like these, I always wonder what the complaining family would do if OP just handed them a full itemized invoice for the entire cost of the wedding (deposits, cancellation fees, rescheduling fees, an hourly rate for your time, etc) and said "here's what it would cost us to shift the date, cut us this check right now and we'll consider changing the date". Probably just go full :decorum:

and ~family~ unfortunately, but I do wonder how they'd try to talk their way around pretending that no it's not a big deal to reschedule.

Oh and I checked the comments for this one and a Redditor linked another absurd rescheduled-wedding ask that provided an update yesterday. The original may have been posted somewhere in the previous thread, but I don't feel like digging through for it, so here's both the original and yesterday's update.

AITA for not moving my wedding date? (posted 1 yr ago)

quote:

My fianc� and I recently got engaged, and when looking at dates we realized our anniversary falls on a Saturday this year. Perfect right? We immediately start planning because it�s approximately 9 months out and we have to move quick to pull a wedding together. We told everyone the potential date this weekend and all seemed well.

Monday I get a phone call from my father. He insists that I move the date because my mother has a yoga retreat that weekend. I tell him that this date means a lot to me and I would prefer to keep it if there is any way to move the retreat. There is, but it�s expensive. I offer to pay for this change out of my wedding budget, essentially halving the amount that I can spend on the most important event of my life.

Yesterday I was told that they would not be taking my offer to pay to move the retreat and that we�re expected to move the wedding instead. I haven�t put money on my venue yet, so they think I should be fine with giving up the chance to marry on a date that means a lot to me. It became a massive fight, and now my parents and I aren�t speaking. My father accused me of caring about a date more than I care about my mother. I told him that it felt as though they were choosing yoga over their own daughter.

TLDR: wedding falls on the same day as moms yoga retreat. I haven�t put money down on the date yet and she has, but it means more to me than to her. Offers to pay to move the retreat were turned down. WIBTA if I keep my date and say that it�s me or the retreat?

AITA for not moving my wedding date? *UPDATE* (posted yesterday)

quote:

Hey everyone! It's been a while (I forgot my password), but a few people asked for updates on how my last post turned out. Unfortunately, a lot of you may not like the answer.

Almost all of you said not to change the date, and to enjoy my time without them there. I followed half of that advice. I eventually did relent to my family and change the date of the wedding. My fianc� (now husband!) said that the date wasn't as important as my happiness, and the fighting with my parents was destroying that. Now after six months, we both wish we hadn't because it was useless.

They still didn't show up. Not only that, but they convinced 90% of my family not to show up either. I ended up with only four relatives there in a crowd of about 100 guests.

My mother claimed that I had been "excluding her from planning" (by scheduling venue tours on days that my fiance and I were both free but I didn't realize she was working, and by finding my dress by surprise on a "just here to look" trip without her being there). They hadn't shown any interest in planning, so I mainly didn't want to bother them. To them, this was "clearly a sign that you don't want us there". So they went out of town on the new date.

In the end, narcissist mother still got her yoga, I still moved my date, and I still walked myself down the aisle.

But my petty self did, in fact, strike back. I had an amazing time, and I made sure that I left obvious empty seats marked for them and told everyone the truth with a smile when they asked. The few family members that did show are now no longer speaking to them either, as are all of the friends who came. The only exception is my brother (who I'm pretty sure they asked to relay the details of the party to them), and even he has almost entirely cut them out due to how they've acted.

I haven't spoken to my mother since about a month before the wedding, when she told me to get all of my old things out of her house. I speak to my father very rarely, and only over things like deaths in the family. My in-laws have basically taken me in as their own, and I'm far happier than I ever was in the nightmare of a family I grew up with. Life is good.

TLDR: moved the date of the wedding so mom could go to yoga, parents still didn't show, had a better day without them than I would have with them there, finally cut contact with those narcissists

# ¿ May 20, 2024 00:42

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: SPRAYING A FRAGRANCE ON MY PENIS

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