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pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

nvidiagouge posted:

Yeah I work for the feds and one of the things we do regularly and well is pay. Yes, it takes a bit, but you can count on it happening with no bullshit after the contract is signed.

I work for a very small, very niche consultancy / subcontractor. Too small for our own "on call" legal for every contract. Which means I review my own, but can kick it up if I really have to. It is my least favorite aspect of my job.

The only time I will sign a >60 day contract is if my client is directly contracted to gov't. Because while it will be slow, I know they'll get paid.

New clients are Net 30. Good clients, there's usually an MSA. Recent repeat clients w/o an MSA maybe they get 45-60 days. Instant refuse to sign any "pay when paid." And I've lost several clients to it. I'm not a bank. The most offensive ones are the "within 30+ days of payment from client" which just means they are making interest off your money.

The reverse discount / penalty for timely payments I've seen people try to sneak in just a couple of times. I don't need a discount for doing my job on time and you doing me the favor (?) or paying me for services rendered.

I did have one poo poo-rear end company this year, new client, try 2 things: change the payment structure of a contract from unit rates to time and expenses rate after the proposal, and that got signed. Then they argued about our payment terms (their recommended insert was weird archaic language like "the 4th day of the fourth month") and demanded a revision to the contract. That revision took a month of back and forth. So I billed them for my admin time. Told them my hands were tied now that we're on T&M.

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pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

Killswitch posted:

So you clicked it, right?

My boss told me our subscription to some security service includes automated fake phishing emails. He gets a report every month showing which employees click them, who watches the automated training videos, etc.

Of course I click all the phishing emails and none of the training videos.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

Barudak posted:

A family member got a contractor hired for them to compile survey data taken in excel into final reports

As it turns out, this contractor doesn't actually know how to use excel. And I don't mean doesn't know how to do macros or why xlookup or indexmatch, I mean does not understand that you can copy cells to other cells in excel.

I used to work with a young guy w/ background including logistics for military, BS in a math-heavy field, requires data manipulation on daily basis and very light coding (more scripting).

I gave him a few csv files that I needed reduced, duplicates removed, and sorted by XYZ. About 4 hours later I realized I'd forgotten about him and went to check. He'd given up. I sat over his shoulder to walk him through this task. He was all over the place with the mouse, just moving it around lightning fast clicking random cells. It was clear he'd never seen Excel before. Said "I'm more used to a mac". I'm pretty sure spreadsheets have been available on non-pcs since before he was born. Plus he'd been working with us for a year where those not a mac in the building. He had a degree from a UC school in a technical field. Just getting him to copy files from one text file into excel was painful and so so bad.

He's working for a defense contractor now.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

Slayerjerman posted:

Simple things like that must just be assumed and never trained, must be how these folks slip through the cracks.
I've been trying to work with a crop of new hires, 20 years younger than me, and his article spoke to me.

https://www.theverge.com/22684730/students-file-folder-directory-structure-education-gen-z

All of our work software is based on incremental updates from when it originated in the 80s. Or competitor that came out in the 90s. Nothing is new. Everything is classic folder/subfolder/sub-subfolder for processed data. And our new folks just ... don't think that way.

My boss called me screaming about how no one ever "looks up stuff on the server anymore." Well yeah. Because what they're looking for is nested deeper than a barn rat in December.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

gleebster posted:

Love to spend the first hour of a 90 min meeting listening to a small group of people working out the poo poo they should have worked out before the meeting.
I had one of those last night followed by meeting to schedule a larger meeting. Very efficient use of my time, felt like.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

kntfkr posted:

i posted this in sh/sc but i might as well ask here as well.

can anyone recommend a good KVM switch for 1-200 dollars? I just ordered the K & M today, i have a decent V that's a few years old but is ultrawide and nice. now i just need a good switch so i can toggle between my two work laptops

Not a full KVM, but someone on SA recommended I try this one:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B082K87B87/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

And it works for my setup. I do have to switch the monitors manually, but I've got the process down pretty smoothly now. Click switch, hit a series of keys on monitor (I put the switch on the monitor by its buttons), and it just works.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

Years ago, at a different employer, a board member on their way to a BOD meeting had their luggage stolen. They'd printed out full employee files for review. Copies of DLs, passport numbers, SSNs, addresses, everything was in that pile of notes.

We got a 3 year credit monitoring service. Yay.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

I work in a small industry, about 20 years now, where I know most of the major US players by first name.

One guy has a history of tanking companies. He hired me a couple of companies ago. He wanted someone to run a satellite office, and I was looking for a different role, so I took the gig and kept myself distanced. Eventually he lost my company over a million bucks and was asked to resign. I was offered his job. I agreed with the caveat that I have full access to his books, files, and emails. My boss didn't only agree, he gave me a month of hours to dig through the mess.

Holy poo poo. The guy was always slimy, but seeing it laid bare like that was amazing. He wasn't clever about it at all. Of an age where he didn't have a personal email account, just used his work email for everything. So "business trips" across the country that lined up with his kids away games. Lots of questionable expenses that the cfo was ignoring (also fired).

The funniest bit was all his travel accounts (car rentals, hotel & airline notifications, etc) were still tied to his work email months after he left. So I was tracking him visiting clients, and them emailing him details to his wrong email address for almost a year. And flat out lying to his former and current employees. Some horrible racist poo poo as cherries on top.

Since my field is so small, he and I are kind of the industry drama duo. Everyone always wants to know why I despise him so much, he really plays the "but I'm such a nice guy, why does PUFS hate me" card. I just don't give details. Hes a good salesman. I'm unfortunately known as difficult to manage, so most people assume im just being a dick. But I've got the receipts, motherfucker, and you tanked my stock options.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

Outrail posted:

Just don't come back after Christmas

At an old company we didn't have a cap, and I accrued an obscene amount of vacation and pto over 10+ years (they accrued separately). When they realized a few of us had good sized liabilities on the books, they gave us a deadline for "use it or lose it" which made sense, except that I couldn't use it all by the deadline. I asked my boss if he'd approve my going on a 6 month paid vacation and he said of course not.

I quit so they'd have to pay it all out. That was the job that looked the best on my resume, but I'm not giving up 6 months of pay for a status symbol.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

Outrail posted:

Yeah no poo poo. I've literally screamed at my board that I need them to gently caress off and ...
I'm at the top. There is literally nowhere to go but quit.


This was me a few years ago. In the end I quit, resigned from the board, and took a lower position at another firm.

I still have trouble adjusting to middle-managment. But the compensation is good and the hours/stress is better.

Our senior management/ officers all feel like caricatures. The chief technical is really loving good at, well, technical, but has no clue how to make money. If he touches a project we can expect to lose money. The marketing guy is 100% passive, just waits for the phone to ring, but then that's the most important project in the world, everyone drop everything. One of the VPs moved to Mexico and manages his team remote, works 4 hours a day. Big Boss might be drawing his management style from the Dilbert cartoons he prints out and puts on the wall.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

Prince Reggie K posted:

My work never charged me medical premium for 3 years and just found out today. So there goes 10 percent of my paycheck from now on...

I had an old job where i transferred from a state with high state income tax to a state with none. But then my first hitch was 6 months on the road so i never saw a paystub. I didnt know what my new "base" pay was during that time because i was billing 60, 70 hours per week.

No one had told our poor payroll guy (they were sunsetting him from his previous accounting duties and just gave him payroll until he'd retire) that I'd moved. So i paid Oregon a poo poo ton of money that I'd much rather had earning interest.

Also trickled into medical premiums being different, smaller things like that.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

Buttchocks posted:

Converting feet to meters is easy, I can do that in my head. Converting between metric and imperial coordinate systems is where it gets tricky.

*me scrolling through options in a dropdown box*

"Imperial foot. Foot. US survey foot. Whyyyy"

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

Lord_Brand_X posted:

Are you a surveyor? I recently had to fight a surveyor who didn't understand why unitless is a better dwg standard. Grid vs. Ground. The automagic conversion will ruin you every time.

Damnit wrong quote. I was aiming for the poster above you. Phone.

Not exactly. I do fieldwork that usually involves my own surveying. I tend to survey my work in whatever means the easiest way for me to make a map/deliverable. I'm not a licensed surveyor.

Last night I had to convert state plane to utm feet. WTF uses utm feet? Some American engineer who is working for an Aussie mining co.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

Hyrax Attack! posted:

Whoa it’s really that easy? Couldn’t any rando charge to a room, or do you need to present ID to open the initial tab?

Depends on the bartender/staff. Usually just scrawl an unintelligible signature under the room # (leave a good tip!) and you're good to go. I don't think I've ever shown ID.

OP: I've been traveling to fieldwork with coworkers of various stripes for 20 years now. I've set simple boundaries: we don't sit next to each other on planes. Driver sets music choices in the vehicle. I'll usually only eat with crew once a week (some I do enjoy their company, but 12 hours a day is still plenty). Don't call me unless emergency after we get back to the hotel.

I've had a crazy or 10 over the years who was tough to be in the car with, or hotel, but I've been in the position where I could just refuse to work with them again. But they did make for some good stories.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

History Comes Inside! posted:

Someone took one of our most frequently used spreadsheets and hosed up all the colour coding to make it ‘look nicer’.

‘Looking nicer’ meant changing everything to one colour but in slightly different shades, instead of the very straightforward to read completely different colours.

I asked if they were colourblind and this was an accessibility thing we’d missed, and if so could we collaborate on making it possible for everyone to read it while maintaining at-a-glance usability, but no, this was strictly an aesthetic choice and management like it because it conforms to the colours in the corporate logo so this is how it’s gotta be now.

Did ya'll know you can draw arrows and circles and such in Excel? My boss does this to show "this cell" plus "that cell" ---> (but never straight across a row or down column, no. Always at some angle to a random cell = PROFIT.

Mine are boring, but line by line accounting. If you start at the top and work down, you'll get to a final calculated value. Maybe call that Bottom Line or something.

He keeps sending me his budget spreadsheets for project management. I've asked him to just tell me how much %profit he wants and acceptable overhead because his spreadsheets are so very, very bad. But colorful and interesting, in that "basement of serial killer's abode" kind of way.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

First of May posted:

FW: FW: RE: Question

any thoughts?

(22 entry email chain with in-line comments and nested replies)



Thanks for the Agatha Christie novel worth of sleuthing to even determine the question, dick.

My boss likes to do this, but then he will attach emails as well. Those have to be opened to get their attachments.

I get back from holiday break. He sends an
email "other pm dropped the ball, can you take over an easy project with short delivery time?" I can, and that's my job, so I say fine.

"Please see emails" and there's 10 attached .msg files. Some of them have attachments. Some are just mid-string replies. They all have the same filename.

It was due today. I finished it Friday but held onto it. Called client today to tell him it is ready, he's happy. Boss man calls "other pm dropped the ball, can you take over an easy project with short delivery time?"

...I put on my robe and wizard hat...

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

StrangersInTheNight posted:

see how easy/hard the trainings are. suck up the money if they're easy enough to knock out quickly. my favs are the ones where you already know the poo poo going in and just have to let a video play through while dicking around online and answer a 5-10 question quiz on simple poo poo.

Last week I had to do my Osha refresher. I think I've been using the same online place since 2009. Same questions.

I also had to do 10x online safety courses for a major utility. They're in an isnet wrapper, so clients can make sure you're compliant. This is my third year taking those. Some, you can try and "Test Out" if you've had the course previously, but the test requires 100% scoring to proceed. I'll always forget something hyper-site specific that I can't google. Then I sit through a 45 minute session and take the same test, that again requires 100% to get your cert.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

Cthulu Carl posted:


EDIT: also since a few weeks ago when they sent out a phishing exercise email from the security mailbox, I've been reporting all emails from that team as phishing.

We get these barracuda "watch this video about security thing" where the link to click has a 1000 character URL so that was my excuse to them why I don't watch them. The team got mad and told me (ccd my boss) that those were OK. So now I click every link in the fake phishing emails. And set up a filter from the team for their "stop clicking those links, you failed the test" as spam.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

Calico Heart posted:



What I would need to make it appear as if I'm working though would be a program that wiggles the mouse, scrolls, and ocassionally switches tabs just in case the boss does decide to check my screenshots. Also it couldn't show up in the task bar. I'm sure something like this must exist but haven't been bothered to look.
Doesn't meet all your requirements, but I use a tiny portable app called Tiny Task. I use it when working on a parallel machine (but use a usb switch for same kb&M). Our IT locks us out at ~5 minutes (feels like 3). I use it to keep scrolling "up" in my outlook inbox so it acts as a mouse jiggler and I can see the incoming emails, in case there's something I need to switch machines to address. Can also have it move to another window, activate it, refresh or move tab. Repeat. Can save different macros.

It does show up in the taskbar. I guess you could always hide the taskbar to maximize your workspace efficiency.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

Holland Oates posted:

You would think, but the shocked Pikachu faces when I said "by the way, I'm going to be leaving in 2 months, and this is my more than generous notice that I'll be selling my interest. I'm not required to notify you, but I am required to tell you that I'm not required to notify you, so. Buy me out please, so I don't sell to the highest bidder."


ETA: I am walking into a real actual factual directorship and it rules.

I also sold my stake, gave several months notice, resigned my VP and BOD positions, and took a peon-level job at a smaller firm.

Sooo much better. My boss will call and ask "how would you have handled this at previous company" and I can just do a phone shrug "that's not my role anymore and I don't miss the stress level." It is great.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

More about joys of traveling for work.

6am flight this morning. Arrive at 4:45 with oversized luggage. Counter won't check my bags that late. Won't put me on the scheduled flight and bags on later flight. Ok, delay 24 hours.

Destination hotel app won't let me modify. Call hotel (int'l call) to bump check in by a day. "We don't have any more rooms available" - yes you do I'm booked for 2 weeks, just change the check in date, same departure. "No we can't do that". Fine, just leave it as-is and I'll pay for the empty room tonight. "Sir if you are a no-show we'll charge you the night AND cancel the reservation"

It is midnight hotel time so I'm guessing I got the night auditor with limited options. I can check in with the hotel app and get a digital key so I'll try that.

In the meantime I find an airport hotel to crash tonight. My office is already emailing me freaking out about another $150/night charge on a half-million budget. This bodes well for the next 2 weeks. I'm going back to bed.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

withoutclass posted:

Honestly WFH hurts juniors the most. All the spontaneous learning, random conversations with more experienced people, mentorship etc that would normally be very organic isn't happening.

I've been wfh long before covid, but I've been talking to a lot of clients about how they're adjusting.

One thing I hear a lot is that, for engineering consultants, the junior employees rely on face time with middle/senior staff for billable hours. Wfh they're more out of sight and out of mind until they're needed. I was embedded inside a client's office for a couple of years and it was a constant parade of Jr staff going door to door asking PMs if they had any billable work they could help with. What I'm hearing now is the digital version of that, where they just send out blast emails. Which are easier to overlook/ignore than someone in your face.

I have the opposite problem. When I give billable work to junior employees who are in the office and I wfh, they never complete a task. But they bill a shitload of hours.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

I watched/heard a good field exercise a couple of days ago. Survey team of 3 people: crew chief (CC), rod man (A) and his helper (B). This was all over radio comms:

CC: "ok I see you guys moved to the other side of the fence now, what's your station #?

(B): "196"

CC: copy 196. What direction is your next station? Moving up or down line?

(B): Toward 195. Down line

CC: what station are you at now?

(B): 196

CC: hey, A. Can you verify your station number and what's your next station and direction?

(A) Confirmed currently at 196. Next station 195. Down line.

CC: can someone count back to the previous station (this requires exiting one security gate and entering another, 30 minute exercise) and make sure that was Up Line?

Me stepping in (frustrated at this literal binary question): "I'm on the other side of the security fence. I can see your crew right now. Their report is correct."

CC: "hey B what's your station number?"

At the end of the day I ended up by the CC's station. He had visual on them the entire time from his base. Literally watched them moving "left to right" all day.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

Jaguars! posted:

Chief definitely had the wrong number somewhere in his gear or paperwork, and was trying to work out why the paper wasn't squaring with reality.

That also happened more often than I thought possible for only 300 stations in a straight line. One of the line guys was keeping us outsiders in the loop by radioing out "aww biscuits" every time. He wanted us to keep score but we gave up.

Govt contracting!

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

JUST MAKING CHILI posted:

Our IT/security has installed various software that makes my laptop take no joke 10-12 minutes to fully boot before I can open the software to get through the firewall. I got a replacement laptop a few months ago and first boot up was so fast, then the company software installer added all the extra stuff and went right back to 10-12 minutes before it’s usable after starting.

This was me at previous gig. I'd come in, hit power button and type login credentials, start coffee, smoke a cigarette, and then maaaaybe it'd be ready to work.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

Escape From Noise posted:

<<armpit_enjoyer posted:
It's not what they say about me, it's about others being able to perceive sub-par work and associate it with my name. I'm yet to lose the ability to give a poo poo even though it never got me anywhere>>

I identify with this

Hitting home. My job is a mix of consulting and services under one roof. I used to tell the really bad Dad Joke that I was 50% consulting, 50% pm, and 50% fieldwork. But... last year I billed 2000 client hours and another 600 hrs of overhead, and 2021 was worse, so I'm approaching it.

I wrapped a consulting project end of fiscal 2022. Bread and butter case where a competitor on the services side did some work and I'm reviewing it as a consultant. There are technical issues with the competitor's work (old, outdated toys) but fundamentally the work just shouldn't have been performed in the first place. It just won't solve the problem being asked, in my professional, licensed, explicitly hired by Project Owner to comment on this poo poo, opinion.

Project Owner now wants to hire my company to re-do the same technical work with better tools on a much larger scale. I've been fighting with my boss about it: it is a logistics nightmare and will cost 10x as much as a typical project (in billable time) so he's seeing $$$. As are a handful of subcontractors and adjacent contractors. But I still don't think it will work on a technical level, ignoring logistics. And I said as much in a client-meeting (which doubly pissed off my boss, and other companies who'd get a piece of that pie).

I'm never going to be able to retire at 65 or whatever and won't be able to do fieldwork as my body breaks down. Consulting income is the eventuality. My consulting reputation is tied to my services reputation. I don't see how any amount of "I told you so" is going to help mitigate a massive public failure. Boss and I still fighting about it. My boss has agreed to leave my name off the proposal and project* but I insist that paragraph 1 and last of the proposal to be: "this won't work."

*I know I'll have to manage it. Our other PMs don't have the specific experience and throwing them in this deep we'll lose the kind of money you just can't afford as an object lesson. I know I can at least manage the day-to-day project and keep the costs under control. But the end product will disappoint. The profile of this project is massive for our niche industry. When the project costs this dollar amount, and fails, what's going to get around is some variant of "Oh yeah PUFS is the person who tanked a $$$ project" which hurts my ability to make future work. I know that because we still talk about a project in 2005 that put 2 companies out of business and all the PMs still have that on their reputation. What I'm pushing is a very reduced SOW prove-out that This Won't Work but everyone else wants to budget (and spend) the full project amount this year.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

A Festivus Miracle posted:

My utility ... The entire idea of the constraint triangle (for the uninitiated, you can have time,cost, or scope. Pick two) is just an impossible idea for some people to wrap their head around.


Funny you mention utility & triangle. My other "problem" client is a major utility in California. Everybody knows the one. Anyway my main contact there has been interesting to work for, but he always starts preliminary negotiations with "I know what you are going to say. I want that entire sow, fast, and cheap. No compromise."

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

peanut posted:

New client, I'm a freelancer replacing another So I have suggest to increase my daily rate so that it absorbs most of the hotel costs while almost matching B and A.

If you were a decision maker which option would you accept? Or do you think the head office will get nasty and demand I do the same job for 30% less?

I went through that. Settled on a day rate set up for 10hr days (hotel to hotel) and I bake in meals and lodging.

Every once in a while I'll burn myself (underestimated hotel costs, usually by not anticipating an event in town) but on balance I still come out ahead. Not enough that I consider it a stream of profit (that's all from labor), but way more than enough to cover the times I do burn myself.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

Cthulu Carl posted:

I like to flag emails like that as phishing. And just quietly delete the obvious "this is a security test" fake phishing emails they send out like weekly.

Same. Especially since the links to "would you like to know more" all have a mimecast or barracuda prefix so I can just comment "the URL looks suspicious"

Sometime mid year I stopped getting anything from IT or the subscription. I thought it was company-wide, but nope, just me.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

Ravus Ursus posted:

They've also demanded we not only use Microsoft 2FA, which is whatever,

This one came up at my work. We change passwords quarterly. After doing that, we get pop ups to the effect of "you have used the X option 2/3 times. After that you must use Microsoft Authenticator app"

Just nope. Deleting outlook from my phone was one of the easiest, most liberating things I have done at work. My phone has only 1 work app (my timekeeper app, because I do like to get paid), because it, you know, my phone.

We're also pushed to putting an isnnetworld app on there to prove training certs but again, nope.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

TehRedWheelbarrow posted:

printers should have a service contract. dont do printers. printers are the devil.

At my previous gig, I had the horrible task of closing out an office who'd been mismanaged to hell and beyond, losing money year after year, and dragged a lot of decent people's reputations into the mud with them. I was sent to clear out the office because my boss "didn't know what they did down there, and PUFS at lease knew what assets were worth keeping." There's more to unpack there but I want to tell the printer story.

By the time I'd been shipped down there everyone was laid off and the office was a ghost town. Had been ~20 employees. They had 3-4 decent HP printers like you'd find in a small office back then, or nice home office now. And a giant gently caress-off office Xerox printer that frankly I couldn't see our org needing, ever. As I was liquidating what I could, junking more, that drat printer kept being a problem. We found out it was under a service contract that would cost $15k to break.

Just one of the amazing management decisions made in that office. But ultimately overseen by my boss who again "didn't know what they did down there."

Those months were the worst in my career. A few years ago I had a gov't interview where they did one of those "tell us about a challenging time in your career" START questions and my eye started to tic. I run into that old office manager every couple of years at industry events and my blood boils.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

Freaquency posted:

Those surveys, if they aren’t designed to give someone a reason to let people go, are busywork for HR that gives them something to point to when they’re asked what the gently caress they’ve been doing all year, so naturally they get very mad when it results in them having to do actual work.

Not HR survey, but a month or so ago I actually responded to one of those vendor emails "Your opinion is important to us" blasts. Because I was in a foul mood specifically because this ancient broken-rear end software is more broken since its 2023 update. I'm not a programmer. But if I have to write scripts to distribute to my team, so that we can fix your input format to work in your own software? gently caress that for $2000/yr/seat. The roll-back was to a 2015 version that I can't tell is any different functionally from the 2005 version.

I got a follow-up request for a Teams chat with a technical lead. I don't want to wreck their day and I'll be polite. But I'm curious how it'll do. Don't ask questions to which you don't want answers.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

Cyrano4747 posted:

Now, if your contract specifies that they own anything you developed during your employment period they have the right to demand that stuff of you,

I switched jobs a while back and my new employer wanted me to use custom tools I'd developed on the clock elsewhere. Got all kinds of indignation when I told them they'd, at a minimum have to (A) get an ok from previous employer to recreate the idea part of the non-proprietery IP (and in this case, old employer would have been ok with it) and (B) pay me the time it takes to write the new version of code. That was the hangup: "I'm not paying for you when you can just copy and paste."

I just shrugged it off and we never used it. He grumbled for years. We both eventually moved on but I'd heard he's still using code he shouldn't have access to. Not my problem anymore.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

Serious_Cyclone posted:

At my last job they sent out our cyber awareness training module through an email from a vendor I had never seen before requesting that I click through on a link and provide my personal information to get started. I flagged it as a phishing attempt and sent it to security and they came back a few hours later and said "no, that's real, please follow the instructions and complete the module by [date]". I wanted to tell them that I would have to break essentially every cyber awareness rule that is in the training module in order to access it, but I figured it wouldn't do any good.

Thats how ours was set up. I flagged everything. The IT report that went to my boss said I was non-compliant. I don't get the emails anymore, success!

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

The "now in my job description" thread reminded me:

Had three coworkers doing site work about 8 hours from the office. They drove in a work truck. While on site #1 had a heart attack. Other 2 go on standby a couple days while everyone figures out a plan.

I got a call from #2 employee: "I'm being told one of us has to wait here another day so that I can drive Heart Attack home (can't fly). But I don't think that's my problem. #3 agrees but wanted me to be the one to stick my neck out."

He quit not long after that. I never told Heart Attack that part of the story, especially since #3 still works with him.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

I had to take some PTO for a family thing. Coming back to this:

Boss: "I need you to take over this Thing. It has spiraled out of control for too long and needs someone at the helm"
Me: "That's McFly's job."
Boss: "But you know how to do it. McFly has too much on his plate"
Me: "That's literally McFly's job title. Director of Thing."
Boss: "Maybe you can just help him out? Get us past this hurdle?"
Me: That needs to be done by someone in house [I'm remote]. I'm not coming up there for an extended stay."
Boss: "What'll it take to make it permanent?"
Me: "You want to pay me more to do McFly's job? Is he going to take over my job?"
Boss: "Oh no. He's too important as Director of Thing."

Now, I've done the stupid "title promotion w/o extra pay" mistake before. This is the opposite.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

Orvin posted:

There is a project manager at my company that on calls loudly says “silence means yes to me” when asking for agreement. Seems to work reasonably well, as people will usually speak up if there is a problem, but they maybe can’t be the one to give the official “yes”.

I know this is kind of a bitchy-bossy thing to say, but I'm stealing it. I'm putting it in my internal email signature.

Lately I'm dealing with a couple of junior employees who don't check, or at least respond, to email. I know it is dated, but that's how everything gets tracked in my industry. And these are my junior office guys who spend all day in front of a workstation and probably only get 4-5 emails a day.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

wash bucket posted:


"I've worked here for 30 years."

I had the cops called on me once. I worked remote and no one at HQ knew my face but the people who'd hired me. I needed to work near their office once so I flew in early to borrow some tools. Show up at the office 7:30am, and there's a single car in the lot but doors are locked. I had a key & let myself in, no alarm so I figured someone was there. I announced myself but got no response. So I started loading tools into my rental. Cops showed up while I was arming the alarm and locking up behind me.

I guess someone from a back office saw me, hid under their desk and called 911. It was an AP person who had no reason to know who I was. Fun morning, though. Every time I visited for the next 10 years I'd show up early and visit them.

pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

Outrail posted:

Lol you're stuck with him forever

Or until he decides it was so easy to succeed into a senior post, that he's senior level somewhere different for much higher pay. Hope for that,OP.

I'm watching a small competitor implode. They poached a bunch of people with the prospects of senior titles. Now business is circling a drain and they're all shopping for the same 1-2 positions nationwide. And not one of them is qualified. I've had 3 call me this month.

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pumped up for school
Nov 24, 2010

McGavin posted:

At my work we have a form that is a completely fillable PDF that does automatic calculations based on the numbers that you enter. The number of forms I have to reject because the user printed it out, filled it out by hand, and got the calculations wrong is staggering.

I'd memory-holed this: I used to work for a ocmpany that used Excel sheets for expense reports. I had an employee who'd print out a blank, fill it by hand. Scan it (on a flatbed) and email a jpg it to me for approval.

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