the old ceremony posted:

the old ceremony posted:

anyway this went on for many years and there was only ever one occasion where i was allowed to play on a weekday without being watched, and that was when i was home sick from school on september 11, 2001. so to this day i associate spyro 1 and 2 with mild domestic terror, and spyro 3 with the death of thousands and the grisly dreadful birth of the twenty first century

BOOTY-ADE posted:

Epebblephile

Improbable Lobster posted:

the old ceremony is my friend and only tells the truth

Improbable Lobster posted:

the old ceremony is my friend and only tells the truth

funmanguy posted:

I'll be friends with everyone

oldpainless posted:

THIS SOunds like a threat

Comptroll The Forums posted:

I'm the lightning bolt shooting out the horse dick

Powaqoatse posted:

im the lightning bolt shooting into the horse dick if you know what i mean

Comptroll The Forums posted:

Yes, the flash of lightning is usually followed by a sound

cock hero flux posted:

I'm glad this is a joke but I feel like this must have genuinely happened to someone, somewhere.

oldpainless posted:

THIS SOunds like a threat

Creature posted:

I stayed home from school that day and as I watched the towers’ collapse loop on tv, I built and destroyed them myself in SimCity 3000. I don’t think it had the air crash disaster like SimCity 2000 did, so I must have simply set them on fire.

Sagebrush posted:

I still have the page from my school notebook where I had written something like

"A plane flew into the World Trade Center towers!!! One of them fell over!!!!"

which puts an unusually accurate timestamp on the writing of that note

Sagebrush posted:

sometimes people ask me why i have kept cloud-to-butt installed all these years. it's just a stupid joke, isn't it? surely it's gotten boring by now and is little more than an inconvenience?

cock hero flux posted:

I'm glad this is a joke but I feel like this must have genuinely happened to someone, somewhere.

the old ceremony posted:

anyway this went on for many years and there was only ever one occasion where i was allowed to play on a weekday without being watched, and that was when i was home sick from school on september 11, 2001. so to this day i associate spyro 1 and 2 with mild domestic terror, and spyro 3 with the death of thousands and the grisly dreadful birth of the twenty first century

Cindy Shitbird posted:

lol if you aren’t a massively overlevelled ninja squad surrounding a chocobo on mandalia plains and yelling at each other

Absurd Alhazred posted:

More like oldcopainless

Pastry of the Year posted:

if dropping out of school to focus on frame-perfect speedrunning Michael Jordan: Chaos in the Windy City on original hardware means I'm only "functionally" literate then


oh




oh no

do u know jenny posted:

MAGA now stands for Many Are Getting Arrested

cda posted:

To Whom It May Concern,

I am happy to write a letter of recommendation for Vanisher. Having supervised him for six years now, I believe he would make an excellent Assistant Deputy Department Head. He has consistently been among my highest performing supervisees, he has taken the initiative to design and implement many process improvements, and he has pleasured me for hours with the focus and intensity of a truffle hog searching after a European white truffle.

Unlike many of my supervisees, who are transferred to my department under regular procedures, Vanisher was transferred to my department because I explicitly asked to work with him after seeing the work that he did on the Kleinberg Portfolio. Having had the opportunity to observe the energy and intelligence he brought to that project, I knew that he would be a valuable addition to my department in addition to being able to lick me up and down like a pussy lollipop with a sweet gooey center.

I soon discovered that in addition to his high level of general performance, Vanisher was committed to innovation and continuous improvement. After observing inefficiencies in our document-management system, Vanisher developed a new flow chart in Visio, which involved both a normal process and contingency planning for high-priority requests, and when he discovered that I had a particularly sensitive G-spot, he invented new ways to use both his tongue and fingers to pleasure me. I discovered that I was a squirter.

Finally, I would be remiss if I did not mention that Vanisher eats out like a middle-aged bachelor who lives upstairs from a Chinese restaurant, by which I mean: frequently, knowledgeably, and with only a reasonable amount of shame. At this point, just looking at the guy gets me drenched. Seriously. It's like the god drat Ninth Ward down there.

As you can see, I think Vanisher is a good candidate for this opening, just as he has been a great candidate for my opening. He has my highest recommendation.

Sincerely,
Old Lady Boss

canyoneer posted:

Besesoth posted:

#MAGA: Manafort And Gates Arrested

gently caress You And Diebold posted:

i prefer campaign managers that havent been indicted

Koyaanisgoatse posted:

God: I love all my children equally!

[earlier that day...]

God: I don't care for Job.

New Zealand can eat me posted:

There's an alt key on the left side of your spacebar, too

A Buttery Pastry posted:

Yeah, you should never go alt-right.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

There are no friends in these, the Something Awful Forums. Only temporary allies and permanent grudges.

goddamnedtwisto posted:

i would drop everything in my life to move to a city that did delivery by pneumatic tube. i'd even swap home delivery pizza for kebabs or wraps to fit it into the tubes.

however i wouldn't trust google to run the system because they'd push out an untested update that accidentally reversed the roles of the delivery tubes and the poop tubes and bring a whole new meaning to the word "shitposting", as well as attempting to insert my amazon delivery into my lower intestine at supersonic speeds.

Howard Beale posted:

Iowa doesn't have that many hills so it's understandable if Jastiger didn't recognize the one he died on

Solice Kirsk posted:

We need not look further than our very forums to find the food equivalent of an endless abyss of despair:

Snooze Cruise posted:

*glances at tree with "sc + aa" in a heart carved on it"

you... liar

MachDecimal posted:

I'm looking for the quote comparing the U.S. Navy's commanding officer to the Royal Navy's commanding officer.
I remember bits and parts of it - the dashing U.S. Navy Admiral had a part you could land an F-18 on, but "our lad" Mark Stanhope, First Sea Lord, had something money cannot buy - class.

Easily one of my favorite quotes on these forums.

Grey Skies posted:

Here is a picture of Admiral Sir Mark Stanhope, GCB, OBE, First Sea Lord and Chief of the Naval Staff of the United Kingdom (the most senior serving officer in the Royal Navy). He joined in 1970.



By way of contrast, here is a picture of Admiral Patrick M. Walsh, USN, Commander of the US Pacific Fleet and Vice Chief of Naval Operations. He joined his navy in 1977.



I can't even count how many there are there. Do medals actually mean anything in the US armed forces or are they more like those certificates you get in primary school for not loving up your colouring-in that week?

Clamps McGraw posted:

Not that I disagree with you, but "First Sea Lord" is the most badass title ever.

Pimpin' motherfucker don't need no bling to show how drat street he is. He's the first lord of the SEA, yo.
Forest Fuckery posted:

Bet your rear end he has a sword, though.

No man titled "First Sea Lord" shouldn't be without a sword.

Clamps McGraw posted:

Just those two pictures are basically an amazing comparison of our nations.

Our lad Mark over here is rotund, unassuming, hunched shoulders, non-threatening, bad hair, rosy cheeked, has no need for garish frippery on his uniform, and - conforming to the ultimate American stereotype - perhaps a little lacking in dental care.

All American stud Pat, on the other hand, sits confidently astride his desk, bedecked in thousands of baubles, class ring perched on finger, wide shoulders, a side parting you could land an F-18 on, and teeth that could chew through the steel plate of HMS Warspite.

But even with all these differences, there's something Pat isn't. He's not the First Sea Lord. And even with a fleet seven times the size of the rest of the world combined, there's one thing American officers can't buy.

Class.