/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

La Brea Carpet posted:

Student befouled my coffee mug. [MA]

Absolute legend. Literally tea bagging.

Student is a pussy unless he did it with piping hot coffee in the mug, in which case he owns

# ? Mar 30, 2018 02:29

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# ? May 13, 2024 22:44

Fortis: Oct 21, 2009; feelin' fine

La Brea Carpet posted:

Student befouled my coffee mug. [MA]

Absolute legend. Literally tea bagging.

�An extremely large endowment,� huh? :mmmhmm:

# ? Mar 30, 2018 02:31

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Smirking_Serpent posted:

The subreddit mods are very strict. Posts can be removed if they're somewhere else on reddit, if they update too soon or too often, if they get too popular, etc. It's incredibly draconian, comparable only to something like AskHistorians.

But it is possible that there's a spy among us...

The mods there are the specific type of morons who put way too much importance in their roles running an idiotic sub-website for retards to ask about their dying relationships, and so they have a bunch of dumb rules to make themselves feel more important

Imagine going on a power trip with your Reddit mod abilities

# ? Mar 30, 2018 02:33

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Blade Runner posted:

Student is a pussy unless he did it with piping hot coffee in the mug, in which case he owns

Hmm, this roast has quite the nutty aroma.

The student should sing "Tainted Love" but instead of love say mug.

# ? Mar 30, 2018 02:33

Brother Entropy: Dec 27, 2009

Blade Runner posted:

The mods there are the specific type of morons who put way too much importance in their roles running an idiotic sub-website for retards to ask about their dying relationships, and so they have a bunch of dumb rules to make themselves feel more important

Imagine going on a power trip with your Reddit mod abilities

i don't remember if they still do this but for awhile they were deleting posts with the word 'manchild' because they considered it a gendered insult which is insanely lol

# ? Mar 30, 2018 02:35

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

There's actually a thing in the subreddit FAQ explaining why they remove so much stuff.

And by 'a thing' I mean 'two short essays.'

quote:

Why was my post locked and/or removed?

Locking a post means we remove the ability from users to make further comments.

Removing a post means it is no longer visible and the content is sent to our Spam filter.

We take one or both of these measures in the following circumstances, depending on severity:

A post is cross-posted in violation of our rules
We are asked by OP to lock and/or remove the content
We have reason to believe that the user is trolling
Creative writing projects and outrage trolls are not welcome here.
It was posted in violation of our rules
It was posted in violation of Reddit�s rules
It is an update that was created while the original post, or most recent update, was still on the front page of the subreddit
Abusive, tangential or other unhelpful comments have reached a tipping point, in our opinion, that makes the particular post damaging to the community atmosphere we endeavor to inspire.
The subject matter, content or direction of the thread is one which will lead only to bad outcomes, to trolling to brigading or situations that help neither the sub nor the submitter.

Due to the high volume of submissions to this sub, the distributed mod team and due to the fact that a considerable number of removed posts are from trolls, we will not enter into discussion of precisely why a given post was removed. While we understand this is frustrating for genuine posters, it is in the best interests of a functional subreddit.

If abusive comments are the reason for removal, you won�t be able to read them. Why? Because either the moderation bots we have in place or the human moderators have removed them. While a mod can look at a post and see a sea of red comments (removed comments) that range from offensive (you are a oval office) to truly damaging (swallow your gun like you did his cheating dick) it will look benign to any other user. What we sacrifice in transparency, a great sacrifice indeed, we make up for keeping this community a safe place for everyone. It is of paramount importance that users feel comfortable to post here without feeling like they will be attacked or shamed. We do not always win that war, but drat are we trying.

Just because we can remove comments, and we DO remove comments, that does not mean OP can�t see them. Even with the best tools at our discretion, we cannot stop an army of jerks from telling a person in crisis to harm themselves or compound their problems with abusive sentiment. Comments made will be seen as inbox replies even if we respond with lightning speed. When we reach a critical limit with this kind of content, we have no choice but to shut it down. This is almost always the case with large, popular posts that have been removed by the moderation team. By being popular, they attract the most negative attention

quote:

Why was [Insert Popular Post Here] Removed/Locked?

Provided the post has not been removed/locked for x-posting or by request, the most common reason is abusive comments. Posts can also be removed by critical acclaim. Enough reports to a particular post can trigger a removal. Often this happens with troll posts.

We really do understand. A huge portion of our subscribers love /r/Relationships because exciting, sometimes tragic, stories unfold here every day. And, in many cases, they end in cliff-hangers. And when that happens, there�s nothing better than getting an update in which OP finishes the story, reveals the ending, and provides closure.

But as moderators, we�re forced to entertain contradicting desires:

We care about you, the user, who wants to provide advice and weigh in on our most popular content.
We care about OP, who has gone out on a limb to talk about a private, contentious issue in an incredibly public way.
We care about our community standards that uphold that this sub MUST be a safe place for everyone.

When a post becomes incredibly popular, those agendas are often in conflict. Our interest, therefore, sides with the GREATEST number of users. Contrary to popular belief, this is not OP, and not the people invested in a particular story, but the community itself, the standards it expects from us in terms of quality, and every potential person who may post in the future. If someone is afraid to post here because they will be called names, abused, derided, or made to feel uncomfortable...then we have failed. We cannot allow abuse simply because the post in question is particularly interesting or popular. It is simply a matter of statistics that the most popular posts, the posts that attract the most traffic, are the most vulnerable to being overrun with abuse.

Our front page is often misleading. Because it will feature our most popular content, it also skews our user�s impression as to how much content is actually moderated in our sub.

A typical day will see 300-400 posts approved in our subreddit. Yet our front page is relatively stable with a few, select posts that become popular and remain so for between twelve and twenty hours approximately. The vast majority of posts get between twelve and twenty comments. If you only view our most popular posts, it will look as though moderator intervention is common place, but the reality is that we leave the VAST majority of our posts up and running. When the reports show us that there are a lot of violations to a particular post, from a moderation point of view it's a problem, time wise. Moderators are volunteers.

Even saying all that, we don�t fool ourselves to think that will make everyone happy. If you are subscribed to /r/relationships for the drama and the excitement, no explanation will satisfy you. While our sub may be entertaining, its purpose is not entertainment. We are an advice forum first and foremost. Our users will not seek advice if they fear abuse and ridicule. That mission has always and WILL ALWAYS come before any entertainment value others might seek here. You may not like it, we don�t ask that you do, but this is non-negotiable.

tl;dr: "We're trying really hard to pretend /r/relationships doesn't just exist for the drama."

# ? Mar 30, 2018 02:38

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Brother Entropy posted:

i don't remember if they still do this but for awhile they were deleting posts with the word 'manchild' because they considered it a gendered insult which is insanely lol

People who get extremely miniscule amounts of power and immediately abuse it are generally the types of people who would go full fascist or start a cult if they were in any way charming or had any skills whatsoever that weren't just having very large amounts of free time

# ? Mar 30, 2018 02:39

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

StrangersInTheNight posted:

Pick, you only felt that newness with him because he gave you so little, you could project the world upon him

He held it back in such a way as to stoke your cravings, to make you want to have more, but not because he meant to or is somehow an inherently interesting person, but because he had no idea how to be vulnerable, and each time you got close enough to see the person inside he shut you down. But just those glimpses were enough to tantalize you, and what made him seem so fresh and new was also what hurt you so much.

Whenever you're comfortable, I do want to hear more

nah man it's that nothing ever made sense as part of a cohesive whole and he could throw nonstop curveballs like you can't believe. imagine conversations as flowcharts. he could break the chart. so proud of him for that :unsmith:

# ? Mar 30, 2018 02:41

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

A plank of a bridge broke and my leg got stuck in the hole. My [15M] friends needed to call the firemen and I'm too embarrassed to leave the house.

I live in small town with a small population. It's one of those towns where everyone knows each other. So you could only imagine my embarrassment right now. Everyone knows. My sister told me that everyone was asking about it when she just went to get some groceries. Everyone has moaned about this bridge before and how it didn't feel right.

In my town there is this really old wooden bridge you can walk across a river. It's not as dangerous as it sounds. You'd survive falling into it. It's like a 10-15 foot drop. I wasn't in mortal danger I don't think. Knowing my luck I would have found a way to die if I fell. I was walking home from a friends house and this plank just broke underneath me. My leg went through the hole it made. I weigh 110 pounds (50KG). My friends couldn't get me unstuck from this hole without the wood cutting me. We tried to do it several times before Veronica told us to stop. She was concerned about us shredding my leg. My leg was completely stuck and the more we pulled the worse it got. She called the local sheriff who got the firemen to come and help.

I have never been so embarrassed in my entire life. A crowd formed and was watching. I'm too embarrassed to leave the house because everyone knows.

TL;DR: I feel too embarrassed to leave the house. I got my leg stuck in this old bridge on a walk home with friends. They had to call the sheriff and firemen to come and help. I live in a small town and everyone knows.

bridge broke, so what

# ? Mar 30, 2018 02:41

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Haifisch posted:

There's actually a thing in the subreddit FAQ explaining why they remove so much stuff.

And by 'a thing' I mean 'two short essays.'

tl;dr: "We're trying really hard to pretend /r/relationships doesn't just exist for the drama."

I always hate the "mods are volunteers!!!!" Bullshit

It's always used to justify literally any dumb poo poo any mod anywhere wants to do

gently caress you, so what you don't get paid, if you don't wanna sort through the loving trash that are these people's lovely posts then don't do it

Oh wait, that would involve you giving up the only amount of control you can exert over anyone anywhere, so you'll just bitch about how hard a thing that you do not have to do at all and that benefits neither you nor anyone else is to do

# ? Mar 30, 2018 02:44

new phone who dis: May 24, 2007; by VideoGames; Morbid Hound

La Brea Carpet posted:

Student befouled my coffee mug. [MA]

Absolute legend. Literally tea bagging.

Have fun subpoenaing your students who told you.

# ? Mar 30, 2018 02:46

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Pick posted:

I miss feeding Hugh raspberries while he wore a bathrobe and stared at the floor

# ? Mar 30, 2018 02:50

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

new phone who dis posted:

Have fun subpoenaing your students who told you.

That would be super illegal

# ? Mar 30, 2018 02:51

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Al Borland Corp. posted:

That would be super illegal

LOL that deposition

"Did you see the scrotum in question actually make contact with the mug?"

# ? Mar 30, 2018 02:56

Miserable Maid: Apr 22, 2010; Cat Army

I feel so bad for that girl, that's gotta be crushing in so many ways.

Pick posted:

nah man it's that nothing ever made sense as part of a cohesive whole and he could throw nonstop curveballs like you can't believe. imagine conversations as flowcharts. he could break the chart. so proud of him for that .

That's stupid. You're stupid

# ? Mar 30, 2018 02:57

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

like one time i asked him to describe a cat he was catsitting (his parents' cat, which they've had for years) and he could not. "well, what color is it?" "i don't know...."

i still don't know what that freakin cat looks like. but it just wasn't on the map, the idea that someone cant describe a cat they've seen a hundred times. can't do it. what does the cat look like? i don't know...

# ? Mar 30, 2018 02:59

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

My sister and I [20,22F] are being pressured into attending our teenage cousin�s wedding even though we already made plans on the date.

quote:

So basically as the title says, my younger cousin is getting married. He is 19 and marrying a high schooler who is 18 (yes, they�re Christian). Everyone in our family is totally on the same page about how ridiculous this whole thing is, and yet no one is surprised considering his older sister got married young as well.

There are a multitude of reasons why I have absolutely no desire to attend this wedding.

1. I�ve never been close with these family members. In fact, I�ve really disliked their family for most of my life. They�re super religious and rude/pushy and extremely judgmental of me and my family because my sister and I went off to college and have had boyfriends and moved out and drink alcohol. Add on to this that they�re super hypocritical about their preachy morality because they�re constantly taking advantage of other people for money (just look at the last young wedding, where they squeezed an ungodly amount of money out of our 85 year old grandmother so they could have an extravagant wedding, despite being young, jobless, and living with their parents.) I really don�t appreciate how they treat the important people in my life. The future bride and groom are planning to move into the groom�s parents house (yes, where the other married daughter and her husband live) and in doing so are kicking out the third sister who lives there while she goes to a local college. This sister is the only person in the family who I�ve ever gotten along with, but she�s highly ostracized by her siblings and family (as you can surely tell). I just think this is so unfair.

2. I don�t think I really support this �union.� The girl is in high school. She attends the school where my mom works, and apparently the future bride�s best friend is in my mom�s class. After the engagement she came into my mom�s class because she wanted to talk and was worried about her best friend. She told my mom the future bride had NO IDEA my cousin was going to ask for her hand in marriage. They hadn�t discussed it at all, but she said yes because she was �too afraid to say no after he already got the ring and talked to their families.� She also told my mom that they�ve talked about getting engaged so they�re �allowed� to have sex. I would feel somewhat disingenuous supporting a wedding like this.

3. The wedding is set for Memorial Day weekend, my ONE three-day weekend left for the year. My sister is in undergrad and I�m working and getting a master�s, so this break is really special to us, and we�ve had plans set during this weekend for months. We also never expected to have to change the plans, because when the kids got engaged in January, they declared that there would be a �long engagement� because they�re so young. Turns out by long engagement, they meant a couple months. I think it�s ridiculous that i planned a weekend with my friends out of town before they even planned their wedding.

So now we�re being told by aunts, uncles, parents, and grandma, that we need to cancel our plans to attend. Whenever we protest, we�re met with the �we all know this wedding is a little ridiculous, but it�s family and you need to be there� speech. I just don�t really see how that argument stands up to my reasons for not wanting to go. I can see how it seems rude to pick a weekend with friends over a �family wedding� when you look at it that way I guess. But truly I have no desire to go back to my lovely hometown to go to a dry wedding of teenagers while canceling my fun Memorial Day weekend plans.

Right now we�re kinda just banking on the wedding getting called off, but I�m wondering how rude it is to not go to this wedding? Can someone help me think about this decision and future consequences?

Thanks.

TL;DR: my teenage cousin is getting married on memorial day weekend, and my family expects my sister and me to cancel our plans to attend. Do we have to go?

quote:

[�]wtfthecanuck [score hidden] 7 hours ago

"Thanks for the invite, I wish we had known earlier but we already have plans for that weekend. Are you registered anywhere?"

[�]AnAliebn99[S] [score hidden] 7 hours ago

We haven�t even gotten an invite! They just sent a save the date to my parent�s house.

quote:

Keep in mind I heard it through the grapevine a bit (her best friend told my mom) but yeah I�m not too surprised this is the case.

Maybe 2 weeks before he proposed, they were at my house and he took one of my rings and �jokingly� proposed to her and she freaked out. Her response was something like, laughter + panic followed by �nice try, literally no way.� So it doesn�t really seem like she was in on the plan.

I�m also not surprised because she�s very meek. Really sweet, but quiet and shy. She�s also very much subscribed to the �women are here to serve� Christian mentality. So with all that in mind, as sad as it is, I have a feeling this girl is going to end up married at 18.

This is going to end well.

# ? Mar 30, 2018 03:08

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

Somebody having a cat shaped hole in their visual processing center doesn't make them interesting except in the way that a person with visual aphasia is interesting

# ? Mar 30, 2018 03:11

jimmyjams: Jan 10, 2001; King Kong of Megadongs
Gobblin' them mega schlongs
Makin' sure they mega long
Stroke' 'em if they mega strong

# ? Mar 30, 2018 03:12

HIJK: Nov 25, 2012; in the room where you sleep

so let me get this straight

the brother jams his sister's toothbrush into his rear end in a top hat and jerks off with it

his sister's mouth is constantly infected because he needs to poo poo on a toothbrush to get off

the parents don't care because they think jamming a toothbrush up his rear end in a top hat is just a normal part of being a 12 year old boy

and the only thing the reddit comments care about is that the victim is going too faaaaar in posting about her disgusting brother and her disgusting parents on Facebook because won't someone think of how horrible it is to publicly shame your family for being pro-shiteating. Like literally they think it's okay to force a family member to eat poo poo. That's how people contract diseases. And somehow the sister is the villain because she exposed their very non metaphorical poo poo eating ways to the world on facebook.

# ? Mar 30, 2018 03:12

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

Hey Pick is there a version of Phantom of the Paradise where the audio and video synch well? I think the Internet Archive had it but I couldn't deal with the audio lag.

# ? Mar 30, 2018 03:15

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

girl pants posted:

Somebody having a cat shaped hole in their visual processing center doesn't make them interesting except in the way that a person with visual aphasia is interesting

but, does a person, not know colors? then i asked if it was a shorthair or longhair and he said "... what's the difference?"

is it meta? what is he asking? has he not seen, the two types of cat? not even in person, like, is he not familiar with what cats can look like??

imagine that for like, every kind of conversation. it just, you know, pulls you out of the normal channels for how conversations go, and it pushes you out of your comfort zone, it makes you question fundamental things. what do cats look like?

# ? Mar 30, 2018 03:16

LethalGeek: Nov 4, 2009

Nope that's all if it. If you're confused remember half the population is dumber/crazier then the rest and they are free to pump out kids.

# ? Mar 30, 2018 03:17

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

Hey Pick is there a version of Phantom of the Paradise where the audio and video synch well? I think the Internet Archive had it but I couldn't deal with the audio lag.

There are PLACES it can be acquired, but you can also rent it on Amazon, and there is a good DVD/Blu-Ray available. e-mail me at sendthemtopick@gmail.com if you need some help.

e: my Great Films Forgotten (TOYS) thread is now seguing to it a little too!

# ? Mar 30, 2018 03:17

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

Pick posted:

but, does a person, not know colors? then i asked if it was a shorthair or longhair and he said "... what's the difference?"

is it meta? what is he asking? has he not seen, the two types of cat? not even in person, like, is he not familiar with what cats can look like??

imagine that for like, every kind of conversation. it just, you know, pulls you out of the normal channels for how conversations go, and it pushes you out of your comfort zone, it makes you question fundamental things. what do cats look like?

I don't know, if somebody said that kind of thing to me when I asked them questions I'd probably assume they were loving with me because they didn't really want to talk to me.

# ? Mar 30, 2018 03:19

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

girl pants posted:

I don't know, if somebody said that kind of thing to me when I asked them questions I'd probably assume they were loving with me because they didn't really want to talk to me.

Exactly! And I thought that often! But that didn't bear out either really. again it's complicated.

A friend of mine who is also a goon has also read a snippet of a generic e-mail he sent me once and she said he wrote like avshalom's otterman.

# ? Mar 30, 2018 03:19

Ziv Zulander: Mar 24, 2017; ZZ for short

Pick posted:

like one time i asked him to describe a cat he was catsitting (his parents' cat, which they've had for years) and he could not. "well, what color is it?" "i don't know...."

i still don't know what that freakin cat looks like. but it just wasn't on the map, the idea that someone cant describe a cat they've seen a hundred times. can't do it. what does the cat look like? i don't know...

He knew what loving color the cat was, pick, he just didn't want to bother telling you. God drat it.

# ? Mar 30, 2018 03:21

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

I [22F] feel used in an odd way by my [25M] BF?

quote:

This is long, I dont know how to express myself... sorry yall.

My boyfriend and I have been together for about nine months... basically, we were really close friends for a few years when I was in my teens, but we fell out of touch when I moved away from my hometown. I exited an abusive relationship early 2017 and shortly after, he contacted me to see if I was okay - we started talking again like before and subsequently became an item in the weeks afterward.

I really liked him - in fact, I'd had a crush on him since high school - and things were going well at first, although a little too quickly for me (he said "I love you" in the first 2 weeks and I had a major panic attack). Still, he treated me well in comparison to my exes so I thought it was normal. But then I noticed something weird. He would text his male friends to brag about me in a way that seemed almost like objectification? Stuff like "be jealous, I got a hot girl that plays guitar" and "I'm loving a hot redhead." Maybe not a big deal but just felt off. Then I overheard him tell his mother that he and I cuckolded my abusive ex? ...we totally did not. He tried to get me to meet his relatives quickly (not his parents) and when I finally did, he introduced me like I was already his fiancee. This kind of mildly inappropriate pseudo-bragging went on for the first few months and I admittedly felt a little used, but tried to move on from it as I still don't know whether or not it's normal.

So - he lived with his parents for a long time, meanwhile I have an apartment two hours away in a city. I work FT retail so I don't have much $$$ after I pay bills, whereas he didnt have any bills at the time and worked PT at a hotel, so he typically would visit me as I financially couldn't swing it and he was aware of how broke I was. My birthday came up and he was sort of bragging about the gift he got me saying it cost him a lot of money etc etc this made me uncomfortable so I told him I really didn't care about the cost. He lets me open it, taking pictures and posting them to Insta the whole time. Turns out it's a record player, which was super cool and I am still grateful, but 1. I did not particularly want one and 2. Ait didn't have any speakers. He told me I'd have to buy the speakers on my own... but I really did not have the cash to do so. I know I should be unquestionably grateful but I still don't have the money to buy speakers and the entire time we've been together he has been buying guitars ($400-500) left and right. I feel like he might have done this grand gesture to get insta-appreciation? Just to take some cute pics of his gift to show people he's a good guy?

Then the final thing - for context, a few months back he and a friend moved to my city. He is working PT at a bank here now. Their apartment is gross and unkempt, but I go over anyway because I genuinely like spending time with him. We agreed that as we both have no money we wont go all out for Christmas. (I have been noticing that he still is buying guitars at this point but I don't need anything nice for a present). Come Christmas Day, he gives me a ring - I have never been the type to wear jewelry but hey it's a sweet gift, right? Well, he tells me to wear it on my left ring finger... I ask if this is a proposal and he says no. Then he proceeds to tell his parents and friends that I'm wearing this "gorgeous, expensive" ring (????) and they all naturally assume we are engaged. Of course now everyone knows we arent but I dont really want to wear a ring on my ring finger if Im not actually engaged. He just kind of expects that it will happen, but idk when.

TLDR - Idk if ANY of this makes sense. I just feel used and uncomfortable due to awkward bragging and super expensive gifts but I am happy when I'm with him? Am I freaking out over nothing?

# ? Mar 30, 2018 03:28

But Rocks Hurt Head: Jun 30, 2003; by Hand Knit; Pillbug

Then I overheard him tell his mother that he and I cuckolded my abusive ex?
Then I overheard him tell his mother that he and I cuckolded my abusive ex?
Then I overheard him tell his mother that he and I cuckolded my abusive ex?
Then I overheard him tell his mother that he and I cuckolded my abusive ex?
Then I overheard him tell his mother that he and I cuckolded my abusive ex?
Then I overheard him tell his mother that he and I cuckolded my abusive ex?

# ? Mar 30, 2018 03:44

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

I have so many questions and they're all "what"

# ? Mar 30, 2018 03:44

Zeroisanumber: Oct 23, 2010; Nap Ghost

Smirking_Serpent posted:

A plank of a bridge broke and my leg got stuck in the hole. My [15M] friends needed to call the firemen and I'm too embarrassed to leave the house.

I live in small town with a small population. It's one of those towns where everyone knows each other. So you could only imagine my embarrassment right now. Everyone knows. My sister told me that everyone was asking about it when she just went to get some groceries. Everyone has moaned about this bridge before and how it didn't feel right.

In my town there is this really old wooden bridge you can walk across a river. It's not as dangerous as it sounds. You'd survive falling into it. It's like a 10-15 foot drop. I wasn't in mortal danger I don't think. Knowing my luck I would have found a way to die if I fell. I was walking home from a friends house and this plank just broke underneath me. My leg went through the hole it made. I weigh 110 pounds (50KG). My friends couldn't get me unstuck from this hole without the wood cutting me. We tried to do it several times before Veronica told us to stop. She was concerned about us shredding my leg. My leg was completely stuck and the more we pulled the worse it got. She called the local sheriff who got the firemen to come and help.

I have never been so embarrassed in my entire life. A crowd formed and was watching. I'm too embarrassed to leave the house because everyone knows.

TL;DR: I feel too embarrassed to leave the house. I got my leg stuck in this old bridge on a walk home with friends. They had to call the sheriff and firemen to come and help. I live in a small town and everyone knows.

bridge broke, so what

I'll take "poo poo you'll laugh about at Thanksgiving in 10 years for $200, Alex".

# ? Mar 30, 2018 03:55

Bogus Adventure: Jan 11, 2017; More like "Bulges Adventure"

Khazar-khum posted:

Ask and ye shall receive

https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/3xqplh/childfree_harry_potter_rant/

# ? Mar 30, 2018 03:58

Khorne: May 1, 2002

dudeness posted:

I [22F] feel used in an odd way by my [25M] BF?

Well, he's certainly enthusiastic about you and proud to be with you. I'm not sure there is a whole lot more to say about that one. Other than the op seems crazy hesitant to like anyone at all and super suspicious of him.

I'm real confused about the bragging to his mom part. That seems super sixteen year old "gently caress you mom, I'm my own person, look at all these things I'm doing that you don't even know about" but also the specific thing he said is just bizarre.

# ? Mar 30, 2018 04:25

mllaneza: Apr 28, 2007; Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952

Zeroisanumber posted:

I'll take "poo poo you'll laugh about at Thanksgiving in 10 years for $200, Alex".

Yeah, that's 15_years_old.txt.

# ? Mar 30, 2018 04:58

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

Khorne posted:

Well, he's certainly enthusiastic about you and proud to be with you. I'm not sure there is a whole lot more to say about that one. Other than the op seems crazy hesitant to like anyone at all and super suspicious of him.

Her previous partner was abusive, they've only been together nine months, they're young, and he seems real eager to put that poo poo on lockdown, I don't blame her for being wary.

Like the ring on the ring finger thing, she's clearly not ready for that stage yet

# ? Mar 30, 2018 05:36

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Blade Runner posted:

Listen you either gotta give me the crazy roommate's number or stop taunting me with this

How about I help you find her online? It'll be like a scavenger hunt!

Here's your first clue: on her Facebook page, she often reposts inspirational messages. One of her favorites is "If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

# ? Mar 30, 2018 06:14

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

HIJK posted:

so let me get this straight

the brother jams his sister's toothbrush into his rear end in a top hat and jerks off with it

his sister's mouth is constantly infected because he needs to poo poo on a toothbrush to get off

the parents don't care because they think jamming a toothbrush up his rear end in a top hat is just a normal part of being a 12 year old boy

and the only thing the reddit comments care about is that the victim is going too faaaaar in posting about her disgusting brother and her disgusting parents on Facebook because won't someone think of how horrible it is to publicly shame your family for being pro-shiteating. Like literally they think it's okay to force a family member to eat poo poo. That's how people contract diseases. And somehow the sister is the villain because she exposed their very non metaphorical poo poo eating ways to the world on facebook.

Uh, no? 95% of the comments are absolutely on the sister's side.

Also, Hugh sounds really loving stupid. Like, 'how do you get from one end of the house to the other without injuring yourself' stupid.

# ? Mar 30, 2018 06:54