Notable Gaming Experiences: The Gospel According to CobiWann's DM

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Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

It's been years since I read about the mechanics of hyderdrive in Star Wars, but I thought the deal was, "if you hit something in realspace while you're in hyperspace, you blow up, they don't."

# ¿ Feb 6, 2012 06:44

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# ¿ May 1, 2024 04:21

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

If they put that much effort into it, I'd probably let them have it. That looks like the kind of game they want to play, and all.

# ¿ May 18, 2013 16:24

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

... Did you just run a session of The Shield: 40k? Because that's awesome.

# ¿ Oct 7, 2013 06:29

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

Give him a small pool of points (like 3-5) that he can add to or subtract from his damage dealt, to be applied after the damage roll. The points can be applied in any combination the player chooses, but he only regenerates the pool daily.

# ¿ Jun 10, 2014 09:08

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

Evilreaver posted:

A little background: there's a being who is essentially Fate, but because he fucks with the Gods' plans (and isn't a God himself) they have deemed him a demon, and all those who worship him are to be called demonic cultists (even though they align closer to lawful-neutral). My group apparently has no ear for subtlety, so they fall for this demon narrative over the course of a major campaign, and are now convinced that this group is a cult and base all relevant decisions on this view.

So in the most recent campaign, I try to set up a few scenarios where they see these guys aren't so bad-- they're not cannibals, etc, they're just normal folk. In fact, while my party is starving to death, they happen upon a town of these 'cultists', and I figure they HAVE to interact with these guys now, they'll get food and cared for, and maybe everyone will grow as people. Nah, the rogue spends a full three days looting the town's food stores and even kills a few guards for the sin of passing detection checks while the rest of the party camps outside the town.

Well whatever. They continue the main storyline, which at this point is "orcs are marching to war, they should probably be stopped before they start a war with Nation A, which will cause Nation B to jump in on them opportunistically etc etc world war, mass devastation". They catch the attention of an orcish detachment, and outnumbered 1000-to-1 they retreat. To the cultists' town.

You can probably see where this is going. I naively thought they may be going for help, finally (since the town is well-armed and defended and has connections to larger friendly armies), but no, this was a "lure one cannibal army over to another cannibal army so at least one of them gets wiped out" gambit. drat players.

So let me get this straight: your PC's were convinced these guys were cannibals, so they... stole their food? And no one considered the implications of that?

# ¿ Mar 20, 2015 07:34

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

Evilreaver posted:

but did set a lot of things on fire that did not need to be on fire.

I have discovered the flaw in your thinking.

# ¿ May 22, 2015 20:29

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

Captain Bravo posted:

Oh man, this is just the perfect description of what you've said so far, you nailed it!

... and now I want to play a game called Middle Management Hell Simulator

Middle Management of Hell: The party are minor demons handling the administration of various aspects of Hell (in-processing, punishment, inhuman resources), when all of a sudden an infernal bureaucratic snafu threatens to destabilize Hell itself. It's up to the heroes to restore order... or to fan the flames.

# ¿ Dec 10, 2015 02:45

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

Dareon posted:

"I cast Zone of Friendship."

Her Paladins cannot use Lay On Hands.

# ¿ Dec 28, 2015 08:06

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

Bieeardo posted:

Not even themselves? Man, that's rough.

Nah man, they gotta keep themselves pure for Her. After all, She has told them how much She hates it when Her boyfriend does that.

# ¿ Dec 28, 2015 11:35

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

Fully Operational
Fun Crusher
Wallet Devastator
Monte Calamari

# ¿ Jan 23, 2016 02:50

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

Baloogan posted:

Hey I'm trying to roll a good social justice warrior, any suggestions?

An AD&D 2nd edition fallen paladin. After your transition from Lawful Good to Neutral Good due to doing something good that wasn't Lawful Stupid, you lost your paladin status and class features. Now, you lead the fight against the corrupt Patriarchy of your church to force them to recognize that you and your "fallen" brethren are no less paladins than you were before.

# ¿ Feb 15, 2016 05:37

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

Kavak posted:

Isn't it your deity who decides that you've hosed up, not the faith itself?

Ah, but you see, the deity is a construct of the cis-good orthodoxy. It is only once the Patriarchate has been smashed that the faith can collectively better itself and reshape its deity into what It is meant to be.

# ¿ Feb 15, 2016 05:55

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

So apparently my plan to deal with a mansion full of mobsters by tainting their water supply with some kind of horrific lich-fungus that would turn them all into ghouls is "evil." Hey, if they're ghouls, they're evil, and they can be turned by our cleric. We're the heroes!

# ¿ May 11, 2016 06:15

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

Bad Seafood posted:

I love it when my players do stuff like this and wish they would more often.

Even if i spent all week designing the dungeon, I could never get mad at this solution.

Our GM built a very nice tower for us to assault, filled with nasty enemies and traps designed to wear us down so that the boss battle at the top would be a desperate struggle. We instead went into an adjacent building, pre-cast all our buffs, then used a combination of Fly, Levitate, and ropes to fly up the side and drop on the boss. The boss was idly reading a scroll when, much to her surprise, we popped over the rail. What followed was a brutal curb-stomping as we dunked on this lamia matriarch. Her minions peeked out of the staircase and ran like hell, while we cleared the tower easily from the top down.

Because I'm playing the party inquisitor, I had no choice but to inform her that no one expects the Inquisition .

# ¿ May 14, 2016 08:41

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

The infinitely reusable nature of Ecche's Ketch makes it the superior artifact, in my opinion.

# ¿ Sep 8, 2016 07:59

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

Those are all reasonable and prudent actions to take in that situation. Looks like you got a friendly and helpful ghost.

# ¿ Nov 16, 2016 21:58

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

You... drove a car bomb into a checkpoint and looted the pur�ed remains?

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 21:53

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

You posted this story before, in less detail. We never got to see the murals before, which are awesome.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2017 01:41

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

The nice thing about the Lambda-class shuttles is that they only need a crew of one pilot (though a copilot makes things easier), and as far as I can tell the controls should be fairly standardized, so if any of the group can fly... anything, basically, then they'll be able to manage. They're designed at least partly to be troop transports; the Empire doesn't want them to be too fiddly.

If none of your PCs have any piloting skill at all, then A) suggest that one of them learn soon because dudes you're in fuckin' outer space, and B) have the shuttle in question be flown by a trainee pilot, with his instructor in the copilot's seat; the trainee has conveniently made sure that all the controls are properly labeled and has left his flight manual open on the dashboard, so that an unskilled pilot should be able to figure out the procedure sharpish as long as he has a few moments to study. Use this as a dramatic tension device, so that the relevant PC almost has the controls figured out just as the Imperials recover from all the explosions and start wondering why the supply shuttle is moving into a takeoff position.

Other neat things about the Lambda: 1. To quote Wookiepedia, "Additionally, in order to prove that the shuttle crew was working for the Empire, Lambda-class T-4a shuttles utilized special transponders to transmit secret codes to Star Destroyers.[4]" Keep in mind that the PCs may not know of the existence of this transponder or how to shut it off, meaning you can get a chase scene or two in before the slicer figures it out, and 2. the Lambda has a retractable rear-mounted double laser cannon, meaning you actually get some applicable armament to throw in to those chase scenes. Let the PCs shoot down a pursuing TIE or two on their way out the door, they will feel awesome about it.

For extra insurance, have the trainee pilot actually in the chair when the PC's arrive, headphones on, listening to some quality jizz wailing while studying the flight manual, completely oblivious. If they follow their murderhobo inclinations, they just ice him and continue as before; otherwise, they can have an impressionable NPC they can convert at gunpoint who can do all the basic pilot tasks (poorly, at first) that none of the PC's want to bother speccing into.

# ¿ Jan 21, 2017 21:15

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

Dareon posted:

Is it his theme music?

Oh my god, it needs to be.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2017 03:11

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

One member of our party showed an unhealthy fascination for a ship that we had captured after an ill-advised attempt by its previous crew to seize the vessel we were traveling aboard. The rest of us wanted to move on. He spent two goddamned hours arguing about how we should totally take this captured ship, abandon our quest, and do dumb poo poo. After two hours of waiting for the game to loving progress, I silently signaled to our war priest, who then chopped a hole into the bottom of the captured ship with his adamantium longsword, sending it to the bottom. The player didn't notice, caught up as he was in his argument for a completely different adventure that none of the rest of us wanted and vocally opposed, until the GM interrupted him and told him "That's nice, but the ship slips beneath the waves as you watch in horror." We never heard the end of it, but we did get to keep having fun.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2017 09:36

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

Bieeardo posted:

I swear to god, I've seen that crab-siren thing in a cartoon, though I can't precisely remember which one.

I don't know why, but it reminds me of "Aaaah! Real Monsters!"

# ¿ Mar 7, 2017 17:14

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

Dareon posted:

I read that as the Temple of Fedora at first. Which would not have been half as interesting.

Oh m'god.

# ¿ Mar 20, 2017 07:08

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

It's so they could make that adorable mouse droid squeal as they plummeted to their explosive doom.

# ¿ May 17, 2017 10:43

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

Time to start experimenting with Mr. Thing. Is he plug-and-play? Can you slot him into various objects to have him enhance them, and how does the process affect him in return? Does he have preferences regarding his potential applications? You must find out, for science!

# ¿ Jul 2, 2017 10:26

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

Cuchulain posted:

The entire city is engulfed by the ensuing party. Kitsune is passing out food, making fabulous meals for the council and Dwarven elites at a rolling forge hastily changing into an oversize hibachi grill. Rum and Dwarven ale is everywhere, the Rogue is talking with Axebeard in the corner. Halfway through the party, Blue informs the party that the restaurant is ready, sorcerers are summoning infernal chickens and revving up those fryers as we speak. The Pirate has been serenading the crowd and dramatically announces that they're open for business. Every Dwarf in the city is lined up to eat. Dozens of rolls from every member of the party are aced. The Barbarian is wrestling with half the Dwarven elite guard who were supposed to be monitoring the party. The Priestess, left unattended, wanders deep into the city, her Earth-Movers following her. The High Councilman sits at the grill, glowering. Propaganda posters against the Druids are everywhere. Everyone is Drunk, High, and having a blast.

Finally, deciding he has had enough, the High Councilman shouts to the guards. The party is to be arrested and the White City will be called. Whatever dark spell they've cast will be broken, and the city of Stonecreek will be destroyed. The Dwarves all stop partying, awkwardly looking between each other.

I ask Axebeard if there's a way to overrule his authority.
He tells you that the Dwarves allow honor duels to be fought between the accuser and the accused, but as he's the High Councilman, you'd be on the hook to fight all the Elite guards, and you're unarmed.
Hey, I prepared some forged incriminating documents in advance. I'm going to announce I have evidence of the High Councilman working with the druids to subjugate Stonecreek and outlaw beer.
I... why would... how...
Look here, I wrote out the form. It's like evil madlibs.
Yeah, that makes sense. Plus there's all this propaganda around anyway.
gently caress it, roll 'em up!

Illrisar fills out his evil madlib and bluffs at the crowd. The Dwarves all start angrily booing the High Councilman, and Axebeard demands an honor duel to settle the dispute. The High Councilman agrees, and looks to his Elite guard, most of whom are either passed out drunk, inside eating drugged chicken, or sweaty and shirtless from wrestling. He turns to protest, and the crowd, turning ugly, shoves him towards the party, as a growing ring of Dwarven sycophants and cultists forms, chanting for a fight.

"Very well then, I might be past my prime, but I'm more then a match for this... diseased wretch. Have at you, fiend!" The HC shouted at Illrisar and leveled his ceremonial poleaxe.
lol nah, Clem's still armed. gently caress'em up dude
Wait, poo poo
Full attack, smite good, and I think
Yeah, he's tremendously dead

The Dwarves are shocked as HC is obliterated in a flurry of violence from the Blackguard. Silence fills the hall.

Whooooooo wants chicken?
Drinks free with every meal!

The crowd explodes into cheers. The few loyalist Dwarves who haven't totally lost their senses make their way out of the crowd. They hole up in the armory, getting ready to force the party and the cult out of the city.

So can someone come help me destroy this seal?
On it!

For three more days the party rages through the halls of Dwarftown. On the night of the third day, the Drow and other denizens of the underdark enter the city. The Dwarves are all fully under the sway of the Cult now. The staunch holdouts are finally taken down and subjugated by a few of the party personally. The Cult, Axebeard, and the leader of the Drow forces, a mercenary named Syz'erp convene in the High Council chamber about the future of the city.

So now that we're moving the Cult and the Underdark forces in here, I guess Dwarftown isn't the best name anymore.
Well, the fortress was originally called Khaz'gol, meaning mountain of strength in Dwarven, so-
Molly.
Molly?
The Fortress Molly, nice. I like it.

Yes! I had wondered what had happened to Castle Dave.

# ¿ Jul 4, 2017 09:34

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

Angrymog posted:

DO we need some context here?

The thief wanted to skip the grueling return journey, but was an idiot and wasted his wish, it appears, because the shaman got everyone out, I'm assuming.

# ¿ Oct 8, 2017 11:20

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

IT IS BETTER TO CARE FOR ANOTHER THAN LIVE FOR ONESELF

# ¿ Oct 22, 2017 07:56

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

Ilor posted:

I love how this setting is both super light-hearted and yet also super dark.

It�s not grimdark, it�s grindark!

# ¿ May 9, 2018 02:45

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

So you made a Dirk of Many Stings?

# ¿ Aug 9, 2018 00:09

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

MonsterEnvy posted:

Question despite the Rutterkin looking like Rats. Do they share the states of D&D Rutterkin. (Who do not look like rats but are instead minor demons.)

For fun here is the current depiction of Rutterkin.

Never skip every other leg day.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2018 10:32

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

Bieeanshee posted:

My one suggestion: always assume that the party is going to stand their ground, even when they know better. I'm glad yours realised that they were in over their heads, and that they managed to pull their fat from the fire. That was amazing.

My rogue trader party are usually fairly prudent. We were fighting our way through some dark eldar pirates when we encountered an ambush: a dug-in splinter cannon, several wyches and warriors, and a Cronos Pain Engine. We took one look at that, popped smoke, and made an expeditious tactical retrograde advance, to the sounds of our GM�s mocking laughter.

# ¿ Nov 6, 2018 04:29

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

Our Rogue Trader GM has all sorts of prepared names. We quickly give everyone nicknames instead. Sir Quintus Collamy, forever known is Sir Colostomy.

# ¿ Feb 15, 2019 02:13

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

Nah, you�re just ensuring a steady stream of future work. Think like a consultant. When you�re the only one capable of providing a solution, there�s good money to be made prolonging the problem!

# ¿ Mar 3, 2019 17:58

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

I like the story about a bunch of dudes getting fed up with it and registering as a group of hunters, showing up at their usual hangout with klieg lights and super soakers filled with holy water. That�s how all vampire larps should end, really.

# ¿ Apr 12, 2019 01:17

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

That is purely amazing, I am loving dying of laughter in public right now :lol:

# ¿ Apr 12, 2019 14:45

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

He doesn�t want you to fly up and be able to see the railroad tracks.

# ¿ Apr 14, 2019 00:32

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

Also, he was a bear. I assume that means his health pool expanded.

# ¿ Apr 14, 2019 15:32

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

My Rogue Trader group attended a shady auction. Our GM was convinced we were going to rob it- indeed, we had made preparations to do just that. However, once we arrived, we made some good contacts with the local nobility and manufacturing higher-ups, and decided to legitimately engage with the auction. We got most of the interesting things we bid on and came away with some friends in middling-to-high places that will help us leverage some of our other problems out in the Expanse.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2019 14:06

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# ¿ May 1, 2024 04:21

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

Well, our face had to bow out of the game, so I may end up having to handle face duties. Problem: I�m the navigator. My social skills consist entirely of lying and intimidating. As many of our social interactions are with pirates, this isn�t a complete loss, but yikes. The rest of the party are xenos, a heretek, and a veteran tuber peeler of the Imperial Guard. We just got back from boarding a Kill Krooza in our frigate and beheading the Kaptin in a nasty fight that cost us three left arms, so we are probably going to be able to use that rep to help with intimidation checks for a while.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2019 17:42

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