Let's Talk About Idiots! We can't stop here, this is Ba'ath country!

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Let's Talk About Idiots! We can't stop here, this is Ba'ath country!

bird food bathtub: Aug 9, 2003; College Slice

AB posted:

Please tell me he got relieved for that.

Promotion for meritoriously standing fast in the face of imminent threat and an orderly retreat when ordered to do so.

# ¿ Dec 4, 2012 19:33

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 22:41

bird food bathtub: Aug 9, 2003; College Slice

evil_bunnY posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4l56AfUTnQ

I love how most of that protective clothing doesn't even waste time burning. It just loving explodes.

# ¿ Jan 7, 2014 03:32

bird food bathtub: Aug 9, 2003; College Slice

What is the nastiest place people have bumped uglies during training that everyone knows of? Best I got is between two dumpsters in the dumpster stall behind an AAFES gas station. Probably tame in comparison to what someone has seen, but it was pretty trashy between those dumpsters.

# ¿ Jul 21, 2014 03:04

bird food bathtub: Aug 9, 2003; College Slice

Looking forward to all the freaking out about gay sham marriages to get out of the barracks and the absolute lack of awareness it will show about all the hetero sham marriages to get out of the barracks.

# ¿ Jun 27, 2015 16:52

bird food bathtub: Aug 9, 2003; College Slice

Cojawfee posted:

I had to go to an enlisted call today and some dipshit linguist was all "uhhh, how come I don't get to go to any cool assignments?" Probably because you're a loving linguist and you picked Spanish. Guess what, San Antonio is the only place you can go. It's easier to just send someone's phone conversation straight to you instead of wasting money PCSing you.

Counterpoint: Our Korean linguist in Afghanistan.

# ¿ Jun 30, 2015 01:47

bird food bathtub: Aug 9, 2003; College Slice

Or people who want to get out there before swarms of redneck shitheads gently caress everything up while being as likely to shoot at you as the deer. Not as likely to be launching arrows at something too far away to positively identify.

# ¿ Jul 15, 2015 15:37

bird food bathtub: Aug 9, 2003; College Slice

Affi posted:

I met a young mechanic in a technical battalion recently who had bought a corvette. For like 40k. I thought he was insane but apparently engines and cars are his life so whatever.

No idea how a twenty year old could ever afford that though.

The same reason people can set up these payments that they will fail spectacularly at making a year down the road is the same reason enlisted people get out of the military knowing zero point dick about finances. It is entirely possible, and extremely easy, to have no bills at all of your own besides what you choose to have. Housing, food, medical care, all taken care of by the greatest socialist enterprise the United States offers.

# ¿ Jul 19, 2015 00:21

bird food bathtub: Aug 9, 2003; College Slice

Soulex posted:

And bragging about 40% disability is like bragging that you own this:

Why because you don't have higher or what? Disability and GI Bill rule, milk that poo poo unless you want to end up a subject of this thread.

# ¿ Jul 31, 2015 21:57

bird food bathtub: Aug 9, 2003; College Slice

joat mon posted:

No charges or court-martial, just discharged. I guess the US equivalent world be a "good of the service" discharge.

Oh come on now, your discussing the American military. He'd only get that if he was an officer. Enlisted would get E1, loss of benefits, dishonorable and avoid Leavenworth if he got on someone's good side or there was a bigger story in the media at the time to distract the public's goldfish memory.

# ¿ Aug 4, 2015 13:53

bird food bathtub: Aug 9, 2003; College Slice

At some point in this person's life they decided a bipod for a pistol was a good thing. How do you get to that point and not realize how irredeemably stupid you are?

# ¿ Aug 27, 2015 18:03

bird food bathtub: Aug 9, 2003; College Slice

Fart Sandwiches posted:

I had to look it up but lol she retired a few years ago as an O6 and then got a job at that same command she ruined as a civilian with the title Executive Director.
Just fuckin lol

Yeah that sounds about right. Can't RUIN SOMEONE'S CAREER (if they're a noble, offer does not apply to enlisted) for one little mistake in judgement.

That just wouldn't be fair. Everyone (like me) deserves another chance (at a cushy, bullshit job).

*dishonorably discharges someone for weed on block leave*

# ¿ Jan 5, 2016 21:59

bird food bathtub: Aug 9, 2003; College Slice

Casimir Radon posted:

No point in piling on the condemnation of stupid opinions about hazing, not much to say that hasn't already been said.

Our prior service ARNG guy was telling me about how they had some inspection in basic training that was overhyped a bit in terms of how tough it was going to be. So some genius decides the best way to clean his weapon is to get a little bit of sand and Barbasol in the receiver and barrel, then go to town with it with a wire brush jammed into a drill. A bunch of other guys followed right along and did the same thing.

I'd say the idiots in these situations (because there are many times this kind of thing happens) are not strictly limited to just the guys doing this.

I'd extend it to the arms room and whoever was training them. The arms room for being inconceivably lovely, nit-picky mother fuckers about the dumbest bullshit imaginable in the military but only at certain times and with certain people, then whoever trained them for treating 'clean your weapon' as something you tell people under you to do for half a day because you hosed up the schedule instead of an activity you have to take seriously and spend time to educate people on.

So there's idiots all around every time something like this happens.

# ¿ Jan 8, 2016 20:26

bird food bathtub: Aug 9, 2003; College Slice

I had some weird ear infection thing that gave me tinnitus for a few days. If I had to live with that I think it would be damaging to my sanity. No idea how you tolerate it but I'm so, so glad it made me into "that guy" about wearing ear plugs in the back of a truck if it got too loud or every time I went on the flight line.

I know of at least a few idiots I worked with that have got to be hosed. Get done on the range with no plugs, then blast their music in their 20% APR heap of poo poo on the way to work. Got to work with a shredder for awhile that took serious ear protection because it was a shredder for hard drives. Just drop a whole hard drive in and little pieces come out. No ear plugs for the one winner I worked with. Wouldn't be in the least surprised to hear he's learning sign language now.

# ¿ Jan 10, 2016 18:33

bird food bathtub: Aug 9, 2003; College Slice

Casimir Radon posted:

The chance to gently caress up some rear end in a top hat's career might make it worth it to me.

Man if I were IG this is what would get me out of bed in the morning with a smile on my face, the chance to destroy a noble's career would be great.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2016 21:59

bird food bathtub: Aug 9, 2003; College Slice

Memento posted:

Just read the whole thread - a hell of a ride. Give those shitheads what they deserve McNally.

I was in the Australian Army reserve, 5/6 RVR during the late 90s and early 2000s. Dumbest thing I ever took part in was a parachute jump into what had been a dry salt lake, before the drought broke and turned it into a foot of incredibly salty water over a foot of salt mush. Fuckwitted officer had failed to read a weather alert for the area indicating the potential of flash flooding and given us the go ahead. All 24 Austeyr rifles from my platoon, as well as every single metal item we had on us was rusted basically instantly, and we wrote off all of the parachute silk and belts/boots as well. I can only imagine he got a medal of some sort.

My question is, how much cleaning were the low ranks forced to do while knowing full well it was a total loss anyway? That's always been my experience.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2016 17:33

bird food bathtub: Aug 9, 2003; College Slice

Godholio posted:

HDI and I had the sitcom conversation a while ago, actually. But the further you go, the more depressing the show gets. I don't know how the MASH writers came up with so many zany fixes for their problems.

So many people think I'm bullshitting them when I say Catch 22 was a written documentary, not a work of fiction.

I, personally, was the guy marching around Bagram in formation in the middle of a warzone. He wasn't making that poo poo up, and it was for the exact same reasons as in the book. Some officer wanted a pretty picture and a bullet on his ORB.

# ¿ Jan 22, 2016 18:05

bird food bathtub: Aug 9, 2003; College Slice

Internet Wizard posted:

Here's a picture I took in my room in the Marine barracks on Goodfellow AFB last year. As you might imagine with that much water damage on my wall, my ceiling was basically rotting away and molded out.

Half of that building was fenced off, because while the entire building had been condemned, only the Air Force had bothered to move their people out of the building.

loving enlisted just don't get it. Some paint got a little wet who cares? Get back in your barracks and so help me god if I find a spot on your mirror or a single piece of trash in your trash can the next time I have you stand in formation at 5AM you'll have 48 hours of extra duty at the barracks CQ desk this weekend.

# ¿ Feb 12, 2016 17:10

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 22:41

bird food bathtub: Aug 9, 2003; College Slice

Aranan posted:

I watched some E4 jump into the middle of a conversation between a retired MSG and an FSE just to correct their grammar.

If he was the dickhead kind of retired MSG that spends his life reminding people that he was a MSG BACK IN THE DAY, IN THE REAL ARMY then good on him. Everyone everywhere should poo poo on those guys to put them in their place.

# ¿ Feb 27, 2016 05:24

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