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Benny the Snake posted:Somebody suggested that I donate plasma for cash. I donate blood on a regular basis so I figure it'd be a good idea now. Any information on how to do it? Do I contact a reputable blood donation office like Red Cross? No. Reputable outfits don't pay. Just do a Google search for plasma clinics in your area. I've had to do that in the past and it's a pretty thoroughly dehumanizing experience, just as a heads up. The place will probably be pretty filthy and the staff will likely be quite unprofessional. It will not be like the experience of giving blood at a Red Cross clinic. It's been 10 years since I did it so I don't know what the going rate is these days, but back then it was $20 and you could donate twice a week.
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Aug 9, 2013 15:27
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Pfirti86 posted:Somebody else mentioned sperm donation, but that's also a path you don't want to go down. They tend to screen pretty rigorously for sperm donors anyway. A history of mental illness would probably disqualify him as a candidate.
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Aug 9, 2013 21:06
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A Platinum Turtle posted:
What the gently caress is a "piratical effect?" What does he think Mexico City looks like? And for the love of good, why hasn't he corrected the title of the dang blog yet?
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Aug 11, 2013 16:47
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Benny the Snake posted:I'll need those edited if I'll have to present them to perspective employers. You mean "prospective." Editing is not the career for you.
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Aug 11, 2013 21:28
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Benny the Snake posted:Yeah the anecdote was a dumb idea in retrospect. Is a third paragraph unnecessary? No, a cover letter is always required, regardless of whether it is actually stated. It was good to prepare a cover letter. Your first two paragraphs are ok, though I would suggest amending the statements about your typing certification. You make it sound like you got a degree in typing or something. The last paragraph, though, is just awful. Why would you think they care that you used to watch Cops? When you've applied for other office work, please tell me that you haven't cited your love for NBC's Thursday night sitcom lineup? Also, as has been pointed out, your typing skills are average, far from "second to none," and your education is also average, second to anyone who has a master's degree or graduated with a higher GPA than you. I would avoid statements like "second to none" in general when seeking an entry level position; it just makes you sound full of yourself. Your first two paragraphs are good, though. Also, I'll just note, just like everything else you've posted here: as soon as everyone criticized it, your immediate response was "it wasn't important, it's just something I threw together."
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Aug 12, 2013 03:28
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That drat Satyr posted:why the heck does a PD need a typist anyway? Do none of their officers know how to type up their own reports or what? Seems a little strange to me. I have never heard of a police department that didn't have at least one clerical worker on staff, barring those tiny rural towns that only have one or two full-time cops. It's totally standard and I'm a little surprised you find it suspect.
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Aug 12, 2013 03:37
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Benny the Snake posted:I actually asked my uncle who's married to my aunt (He's the retired fire captain, natch). The Captain told me that it's only if my aunt was in a position of authority then it'd be a conflict of interest. But since she's a dispatcher, I should be fine. The Captain should know since he's interview for and to. Ah, well, if he's interview for and to, that says it all.
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Aug 12, 2013 03:49
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I'd say it's a smart-money guess.
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Aug 12, 2013 07:42
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That cover letter is way better, but there's still something weird about referring to your accreditation as a typist. Am I the only one who thinks so? Also, regardless of whether or not you have the reference letter, you should put your campaign experience on your résumé.
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Aug 13, 2013 04:24
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Fugue Stater posted:Is this stuff really worth putting on a resume at this point? I really don't have a clue - I've been assuming that basic MS Office (or equivalent)/email programs/etc are just standard expected office job stuff now, to the point of not even being worth mentioning. But perhaps I assume too much? I usually look for it. Just one example why: I'm a manager at a title insurance company. A lot of my applicants are non-practicing attorneys, many of whom were in private practice for decades. A lot of them are really accustomed to dictating everything to typists or administrative assistants, to the point where they don't even know how to reply to an email or save a Word doc. I learned that lesson the hard way, and now I always make some pretty thorough inquiries to verify that applicants at least have the fundamentals of office production software down.
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Aug 14, 2013 15:49
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Darth123123 posted:Bonus points if you listed him on your resume. I don't really think it's terribly uncommon to work for one candidate in the primary, have them lose, then work for their opponent who advances to the general election.
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Aug 14, 2013 19:54
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Huntersoninski posted:I know the op has had alleged interactions with other goons in real life and they confirmed his story, but that last post/aftermath is too much of a joke for me to wholeheartedly believe that this is real. Yeah. I don't think he started out trolling, but at this point he's just loving with everyone.
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Aug 18, 2013 20:01
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AlbieQuirky posted:I know the definition of latter; I just don't understand why he says he wants the job and then says he's hoping to get the rejection letter, and then in the next sentence he's hoping they send out the rejections first. No, he wants this job. He misused the word "latter." He hopes he gets the call for the next phase, not the rejection letter. He hopes that the reason he hasn't received a communication from them is that they send the rejection letters earlier and then do the acceptance calls. This would indicate that the reason he hasn't gotten any communication is that he's in the latter group.
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Aug 18, 2013 20:44
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AlbieQuirky posted:I had honestly not considered the possibility that he had confused "latter" and "former". How do people do that? Did they not learn "former comes first, and latter goes last" in elementary school? That's why Huntersoninski was saying Benny must be trolling at this point. It's too obvious an error. If he's not trolling, the school that gave him an English degree should be stripped of its accreditation.
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Aug 18, 2013 21:13
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In itself, you're right, it's not a particularly noteworthy error. But as part of a broad pattern of errors, it indicates that if the guy is for real, he's not qualified for a professional writing or editing job. And as Huntersoninski noted, the way he presented the supposed correction just seems like a deliberate punchline.
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Aug 18, 2013 22:03
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Benny the Snake posted:Well I just sent an email asking what the position would be. The guy found my resume off of Monster so I'm going to assume that it's an office job. It's a holiday weekend, so he likely will not be checking his work email until Tuesday morning, just before your interview. How did he contact you for the interview initially? Did he call you or email you? Why didn't you ask then?
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Sep 2, 2013 01:09
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Benny the Snake posted:He contacted me through e-mail. I didn't ask because the guy spoke very broken English. English isn't his first language and I have relatives who are like that as well. It'll be much easier for me to talk to him in person as opposed over the phone. Did he say that the lord directed him to you and that he believes you are an honorable man capable of handling this matter with the utmost discretion and confidentiality?
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Sep 2, 2013 01:42
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I am OK posted:I wonder how many nerds who whine about liberal arts degrees invest their free time into unhealthy amounts of terrible TV/movies/comics/action figures/whatever that need set designers and writers etc. Clearly not enough to raise the demand for such skills.
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Sep 5, 2013 23:45
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Skinny King Pimp posted:Actually, being proficient in German and having experience around paper machines and with office work is pretty loving marketable. If it's pretry loving marketable, why are you having difficulties getting interviews? Marketable doesn't just mean a good or rare or highly trained skill; it means a skill for which there's a robust market.
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Sep 6, 2013 01:21
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Ulillillia got a job today, you can too! Serious post: Yeah, I remember adjusting to some anti-depressants that caused that kind of lethargy. I would basically go to sleep as soon as I got home from work every day; on weekends, I'd probably only be awake for like 6-8 hours a day. Definitely speak to your doctor about it. It might end up being something that fades after time (in my case it did after about a month).
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Oct 23, 2013 05:02
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Seven Hundred Bee posted:Is there a Ulillillia thread here? I miss his website Yeah, in Games: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3426257 He's friended a bunch of goons on Facebook recently, so it's a whole new world.
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Oct 26, 2013 04:13
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in_cahoots posted:Your problem isn't your education, it's your functional abilities. A 3.1 from a lower-tier school won't get you into a decent grad school, and even a decent grad school isn't going to get you a professorship. You might be able to swing community college, or rather someone else in your position could if he actually had executive functioning skills. Yeah, you should really consider what your expectations are before going to grad school. If you intend to be a librarian: Really do some research on job prospects. It's a very over-crowded market right now; talk to some people who have an MLIS about how their job searches are going. Municipal and county budgets are being slashed everywhere, so full-time public library jobs are being reduced. University libraries have a fair number of jobs, but they're tenured positions and once someone gets one, they stay until they die. Most people who get an MLIS are lucky to get a gig paying over $22K a year. I considered going into this field myself, but changed my mind due to the lack of prospects. So I worked in a library as an undergrad and took a few undergrad level courses on the subject. I probably had 20-30 friends in college who were starting in this line of work about 10-12 years ago--a grand total of two of them have actually built a career out of it. All the rest came out of grad school with a lot of debt and no job prospects; most of them are either working on a second masters or going to nursing school now. If you intend to be an English professor: Your writing skills indicate that this is not likely the career path for you. But even if you could improve, keep this in mind: Your grades might be good enough to get you into a lower tier grad program. But that isn't going to open a lot of doors for you. If you can't get into a good school, you probably don't have an academic career in you. The lower-tier schools might get you, as in_cahoots says, an adjunct position at a community college, but that's not going to pay anywhere near a living wage. I have a friend who works four or five adjunct jobs, teaching classes at basically any community college or university in the area that will hire him--and for his five teaching gigs, he's able to afford a studio apartment with a Murphy bed. Academia's really not a field I'd recommend getting into right now.
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Jan 5, 2014 16:51
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...and if you can't show up, for the love of god, don't tell your supervisor you're too hungover to come in.
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Jan 6, 2014 02:31
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Benny the Snake posted:I've been re-applying since October. What I wasn't sure about was if I was wasting my time or not. You probably are, but so what? The worst case scenario is that they don't hire you. It's not like applying costs you anything.
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Jan 24, 2014 06:10
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Benny the Snake posted:I gave the thank-you-note after the interview. I wasn't told who was interviewing me, so I came in with a blank card and filled it out afterwards. Did you have the manager wait at his desk while you filled it out, or did you leave the room, fill it out, then come back to deliver it? Either way, it's pretty funny. I'm laughing but in a good-natured way. It's definitely unusual. If I had a candidate do that after an interview, I would be very confused. I probably would not hold it against them, it would just be odd. Next time, shoot the manager an email a day or so after the interview. It will not be as awkward or unusual.
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Feb 28, 2014 01:29
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CravingSolace posted:Wait. Benny, did someone tell you to hand out thank-you cards? Because honestly, that's really bizarre and I've never heard of anyone doing that. I think his career counselor told him to. As I said, the counselor probably meant to send an email the following day, not to hand him a Hallmark card.
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Feb 28, 2014 02:13
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Uncle Salty posted:Benny the Snake, can you give us examples of how you were a good cashier? To his credit, he did say he managed to push a lot of Target credit cards when he had that gig, which is definitely something that would look good to the Sears manager. It's a shame he couldn't bring it up without explaining why he was dismissed from Target.
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Mar 2, 2014 17:04
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Benny the Snake posted:I remember putting Target on my application to Sears. Then for the love of god, why didn't you tell the Sears manager that you used to work at Target and had a good record pushing the credit card?
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Mar 3, 2014 04:28
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Benny the Snake posted:If they didn't bring it up, I wasn't going to bring it up. If you have ever been to a Sears, you know that nothing is more important than pushing the credit card. You have experience doing exactly that in a retail setting, and it's something you were actually good at. I can't imagine why you wouldn't share that.
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Mar 3, 2014 05:04
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Benny the Snake posted:Because I didn't want to bring up the elephant in the room. You brought it up when you put it on the application. If you're going to pretend it never happened, don't put it on your resume. If you're going to put it on your resume, then don't play dumb about it in the interview. Pick one and stick with it.
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Mar 3, 2014 05:52
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Have to say, I never expected Benny to reach the "dance, puppets, dance" phase.
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Mar 3, 2014 15:11
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Benny the Snake posted:Yeah, I meant that when I browse through books at a library, if I find one out of order based on the Dewey decimal system, I'll re-arrange it. Do you do that even if it's a library that uses the Library of Congress Classification system?
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Mar 5, 2014 18:23
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While you're adding special rules for Benny, can you add one saying he'll be banned if he responds to criticism of his story with any variation of "I know it wasn't very good, it wasn't my best effort, just something I threw together because I didn't take it seriously..." He's been using that from the beginning and needs to stop.
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Mar 14, 2014 14:52
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Anonymous Zebra posted:everyone that's patting him on the back for coming clean (after getting caught!) is bordering on being as stupid as him. No one did that though?
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Mar 15, 2014 19:28
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Queen Elizatits posted:He isn't quite as alien as Ulillillia but Benny really is an interesting person, I'd like to point out that Ulillillia just got a second job this week.
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Mar 16, 2014 05:26
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Queen Elizatits posted:That is actually really cool, I'm happy for him last I heard he was running out of money to buy pants. Was this the job at his apartment complex he couldn't take originally because of his sleep cycle? Not quite but similar. The company that owns his building, where he works as a caretaker, offered him a temporary gig picking up trash at some of their other buildings, I guess because of the spring thaw. So he should be able to earn enough to get a new hard drive. Also, he does get paid for his writing.
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Mar 16, 2014 15:38
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Why not do the brawl, Benny? Worst case scenario, it's an opportunity to write another story and get some good feedback on it. What do you have to lose?
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Apr 10, 2014 17:32
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This poo poo is ten times goonier than anything Benny has posted.
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Apr 21, 2014 14:43
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Tamarillo posted:Also Benny: tangential story that may open the door to a new potential career for you. The other day I came across a weird little pamphlet on the floor at work - looked like a comic or something. I quickly realised with some amusement it was one of those "you are a filthy, immoral sinner cheats/lies/steals/molests children but if you accept JESUS CHRIST the LORD as your saviour, all your evil deeds will be WASHED AWAY" illustrations, and on the back it said it was made where else but in your very own Chino, CA. Take your finely honed literary skills, combine them with the experience of growing up and continuing to live with a fire-and-brimstone mother and I'm pretty sure you have enough material to write (if not draw) thousands of those little booklets from the comfort of your own town. Was it a Chick pamphlet? I know their headquarters is somewhere in that general area; their current mailing address is a PO Box in neighboring Ontario but I think they may have used a Chino address for a while. If so, those things are legendary and writing them is probably the most coveted gig in the world of Christian comic strip writing.
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Apr 24, 2014 16:21
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lizardman posted:Carpal tunnel syndrome is a legit concern with a data entry job, you guys. It's a five hour a day job with an hour for lunch. I guarantee this dude routinely spends more than 2.5 hours at a time typing on forums and AIM. The fact that he's now getting paid for it doesn't cause it to be dangerous.
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Apr 27, 2014 08:50
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