Men's Health posted:

1. "Hold her gaze for a minute. If she's blinking more than normal (which is about 15 times a minute), there's a good chance she's on the Pill; women on birth control blink 32 percent more than those who aren't.”

3. “Stroke her forearm first. This area of the arm is packed with pleasure nerves that respond best to a touch traveling 1 to 10 centimeters per second… [to stimulate] an area of the brain associated with trust and affection.”

6. "If you're out in public but want to make your intentions clear, slowly and firmly flick your tongue against the palm of her hand. If she just wipes it off down her skirt, you've blown it."

17. Rent private fighter jets and fly them.

19. Hire a private violinist to follow you and your woman around on the street.

25. “Adding a touch of danger to the day will stimulate dopamine in her brain, triggering her sex drive.”

Cosmo posted:

8. "Chew a small piece of mango… then take him in your mouth. You can use whatever fruit you have, just don't try anything too acidic, as it can burn him."

9. “Go hot and cold. During oral, suck in air as you go down and blow it out as you go up.”

10. “As you’re going down on him, shake your head from side to side, letting your tongue follow the same pattern on the extra sensitive underside of his penis.”

11. "As you move your mouth up and down his shaft, rotate your hand in a corkscrew motion while spiraling your tongue in the opposite direction."

27. [When you’ve got an annoying roommate] "Rent a horror movie and play it while you have sex. If they hear any screams, they'll assume it's the movie."

29. "When he's least expecting it, tell your man you need some change. Then stick your hand in his pocket and touch his penis through the fabric, pretending that you're really digging around for that coinage you need. When he's good and hard, whisper something in his ear like, "Is that a roll of quarters in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"

Tetracube posted:

It's from this, I assumed it was a parody when I first saw it but looking through the rest of this tumblr I don't think it is.

quote:

Why not go for a classy & tasteful costume this Halloween. You may notice that although it certainly is understated, it subtly pokes fun at Austrian macroeconomic theory.

Rad Tad posted:

I still can't stop watching Sandra Lee videos. She totally deserves to be in this thread for her lifehacking baking by not doing any baking at all and decorating every cake like she's a stoner.

Rad Tad posted:

To bring this derail I started back on the tracks, I think she actually has pretty great advice.

Want to bake a cake? You know they sell that poo poo at the grocery store right? Oh yeah, thanks Sandra!

Time saved and you can't gently caress it up.

Throatwarbler posted:

This is from a few pages back, a thing we did in the army was start fires with those small satchels of coffee whitner. Those things are pretty much just powered vegetable oil or some such and go up like gasoline. Also much less useful than Doritos which are actually edible.

Tracula posted:

The only problem I see here is with the fork. The spoon looks perfectly safe.

twoday posted:

Also: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRifHTK_9ng

Rad Tad posted:

Ahahaha this is the best moron poo poo

twoday posted:

stop cooking your eggs in the oven like a square, everyone knows that the best way is to use a rice cooker to achieve perfectly overcooked eggs and rice that tastes of calcium and cloaca

lenoon posted:

My American cousins say this is because of the big corn lobby, but I find this unbelievable. Is big corn a real thing?

Karma Monkey posted:

Apparently this idiot has never pumped gas before.

Croccers posted:

Found through twitter retweets. I'm afraid to look at the blog.

FutonForensic posted:

I guess it's that time again where this video gets posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cppOojKBNko

Robot Jelly posted:

Really? Do we really gotta be this lazy? Making me think of those Goober Stripes PB&J combo jars, which looked just as appetizing and efficient:

melon cat posted:

Oh God. How broke do you have to be to not be able to afford the crappy mints from the dollar store? And if you're too broke afford it, why would it any better to waste more than $1 worth of toothpaste for making poisonous toothpaste mints that can put your partygoers into the hospital?

I can imagine that magazine's next lifehack:
"Run out of juice for your party's mixed alcoholic beverages? Siphon some coolant from your car for a quick substitute! Tastes sweet, with a cool blue/pink colour!"

Wandle Cax posted:

Uh, because you don't drink cooking wine, what is wrong with you

Tiggum posted:

I feel like this is maybe a location-specific thing, because here in Australia you can buy perfectly good wine for $5 or less for a bottle, but I guess in some places cheap wine isn't a thing? Nobody would buy "cooking wine" here because every supermarket has cheap wine you can buy to drink, and there's no "wine that's too poo poo to drink that you can buy under-aged" because that's ridiculous.

Stoatbringer posted:

Vordhosbn posted:

Stottie Kyek posted:

This has been going around my Facebook friends. http://www.viralnova.com/eating-foods-wrong/

It's got a few familiar ones in it, like cutting a cupcake in half and smashing it together again, cutting up ice-cream tubs and doing various things with Oreos, but there are some extra stupid ones in there too. Like threading chunks of hot dog onto raw spaghetti strands before boiling them, heating pizza in a waffle iron and smearing a mango all over the inside of a beer mug.

luzie posted:

Why is that? Seems like it would work fine.

BarbarousBertha posted:

Or just don't buy onions by the pallet.

Cirrial posted:

Life hack: don't ever check if you already posted a life hack, just post, keep posting, never stop, don't ever look back

bringmyfishback posted:

Whenever I see these, I always assume they were actually invented for people who need to smuggle clean pee into a drug test.

Lucy Heartfilia posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iJeU76veok

Gridlocked posted:

Isn't that what dodgy people would do when they had an old or lame horse and they wanted to sell it to someone by making it look like it was full of piss and vinegar?

C.P.A.N. posted:

So let's recap. I've learned that

- corn goes on pizza
- juniper goes on ham
- ginger goes in vag
- sushi goes in spergs

Realtalk: gonna make me some corn pizza

Angela Christine posted:

The pot wouldn't become ritually unclean because it was used to boil a dildo. sheesh

Angela Christine posted:

That is literally magical thinking. The dildo is unclean, and makes everything it comes into contact with unclean.

change my name posted:

Coffee tastes good, you literal robots.

Smelly posted:

Nah, keep in mind that in America (more specifically Florida because of loving course it's Florida) there was a case years ago where a man attempted to break into a little old lady's house via skylight, fell and went through her glass coffee table, breaking his leg.

He sued her and won

ToxicSlurpee posted:

It might not save your life but if the power goes out and you have a box of crayons that's several hours of a bit of light at least. I think that's less "this is useful in an emergency where you might die" and more "well at least if it's dark and the lights are off you can read or something."

Picnic Princess posted:

Better life hack: don't eat that stupid gringo poo poo.