okcupid.txt

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Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

The Monkey Man posted:

Well that's just rude. She provides a link to the Louis C.K. set, but not links to the sites that have prostitutes.

# ¿ Feb 9, 2015 16:04

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 08:35

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

staberind posted:

She's ethic as gently caress. and "never does drugs": uptight hippy.

That's a man. No, really. He's looking for a woman "to protect".

# ¿ Feb 14, 2015 18:51

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Ninja Pangolin posted:

PART TWO
Like, A LOT of

Jesus loving christ. I hope people get tired of reading and just send messages saying, "Wanna bone."

# ¿ Feb 18, 2015 18:56

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

SaltLick posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBwD_xLj_x8

lol

just...lol

Damnit. Now I wanna watch the episode. I mean, I know how the endings gonna go.

# ¿ Feb 25, 2015 19:32

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

toggle posted:

i'm not watching 46 minutes of this, but look at those eyebrows. why is that a trend now? who thinks that is a good look?

But you're missing out on the sexy stilts-walker.

gently caress it. It's funnier to see in action. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACJ7-_G16G0&t=773s

# ¿ Feb 27, 2015 00:02

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

froward posted:

I have no children besides ~~my cats~~ furbabies.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 03:03

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

Can someone explain this JAP term to me? I mean, obviously, she's not Japanese, so... ? I assume the first letter stands for 'Jewish', but after that, I got nothing.

EDIT: vvv Thanks.

Yeah. I was confused when I first heard it. The only people I've ever heard using it were mean-spirited women who were either proud of their snotty daughters or jealous of younger, pretty jewish girls. They pretty much used it instead of calling the girl a slut.

It's weird. I was raised Jewish and never heard the term until I was in my teens.

I did, however, know it was a derogatory term for Japanese people because of Quantum Leap.

An artist that was in the internment camps during WWII, Roger Shimamura, actually did a piece making fun of the term after Oprah had some show on Jewish American Princesses. He made up a story about how K.I.K.E. is not a derogatory term for Jews, but a well-known term among the Japanese-American community meaning "Kinky,Immature,Kimona,Empress".

Sorry, back to terrible okcupid profiles.

LethalGeek posted:

Casually looked at OKC this morning and uh...this popped up

He does cocaaaine!

Bored fucked around with this message at 05:09 on Apr 4, 2015

# ¿ Apr 4, 2015 05:03

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Faustoan Bargain posted:

She's doing GREAT without meds!

# ¿ Apr 25, 2015 20:12

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Mr. Horrible posted:

OK, so uggo nerds and Jewish girls both love Seinfeld. But what about uggo Jewish nerdy girls, do they super-ultra-love it? Or does double-dipping slingshot them out of orbit and into the realms of good taste?

I am an uggo nerdy jewish girl and I dislike Seinfeld.

# ¿ Apr 30, 2015 00:36

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Blue Raider posted:

i dont believe you, on either count

Well, not like, a practicing jew.

# ¿ Apr 30, 2015 05:01

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Sheep-Goats posted:

Did you ever change the clothes that the scroll wears?

I think I did when I was little. But that might have been something for Saturday school, not during an actual service.

# ¿ Apr 30, 2015 20:19

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

man nurse posted:

you sound like a massive dick bag my man

Agreed

Goddamnit it confuses me everytime you post in a thread that I'm reading.

# ¿ May 5, 2015 07:06

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Gypsum Fantastic posted:

i think the funniest thing is that he calls himself the virburglar

Worst McDonald's character ever.

# ¿ May 5, 2015 19:18

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Gypsum Fantastic posted:

also who the gently caress orders 2 slices of pizza, you eat a loving pizza or you don't eat a loving pizza what do you have a gastric band fitted?

Edit: according to a quick search, some malls food courts also DO have restaurants that sell calamari.

Bored fucked around with this message at 16:10 on May 6, 2015

# ¿ May 6, 2015 16:06

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Giblet Plus! posted:

Is that a doll collection on the shelf in the back?

Looks like it to me.

# ¿ May 21, 2015 01:12

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Breetai posted:

Oil up, fellas.

(That's a HARD 36 years.)

I think u should go 2 a movie or take her and her 6 (4 special needs) children 10 pin bowling. She wood be in 2 that. It would be good for there healths.

Edit: I have a feeling she actually doesn't know how to spell "into" or "over". But at least you can tell she's female because, like a female rabbit, she has a dewlap.

Bored fucked around with this message at 17:50 on Jun 4, 2015

# ¿ Jun 4, 2015 17:46

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Sheep-Goats posted:

I feel so loving sorry for some people.

Yeah I almost feel bad for making fun of her. But then I read it again, starting with her over-share. She also watches Foxtel. I'm guessing that's Fox News?

# ¿ Jun 4, 2015 18:16

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

1000 Brown M and Ms posted:

What's wrong with that?

I'm a girl and I agree. Equality for all means that it's cool if I pay for stuff too.

Edit: Wait. This is the gbs okcupid thread. Why am I serious posting?

Groovelord Neato posted:

Women make seventy cents for every dollar a man makes it isn't equal.

That still means we can pay for stuff sometimes.

Bored fucked around with this message at 21:33 on Jun 6, 2015

# ¿ Jun 6, 2015 21:28

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Breetai posted:

So what's the phrase on a profile that makes you most want to hammer the "hide" button like no tomorrow?

"sjw"

# ¿ Jun 7, 2015 01:40

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Shirley Crabtree posted:

like it's fine, to have second thoughts about a first date with someone you've never met i get that and would respect that if someone just came out and said it but why do some women feel the need to make up poo poo about dead or dying relatives/relatives of friends to get out of it? its a bit loving morbid, of course i texted back the whole oh god wow hope he's ok you take care type of thing as you do

Maybe she isn't lying?

# ¿ Jun 9, 2015 22:46

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Shirley Crabtree posted:

If it feels like we are dogpiling on you, we just don't want you to set yourself up for hurt feelings*. If they are lying to get out of meeting you, then they will obviously not be "the one" for you and you dodged a bullet without having to leave your house.

gently caress! I'm serious posting again!

*Or, since this is GBS, we want to give you false information in order to make sure you die sad and alone.

# ¿ Jun 10, 2015 00:03

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

LeoMarr posted:

found a JAP on okc who wants to go see a film.

She has family in israel so this is my chance to build a settlement in the west bank guys

Make sure to call her a JAP instead of addressing her by name. Like, "JAP, it's nice to meet you. i'm LeoMarr."

# ¿ Jun 10, 2015 21:12

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

LeoMarr posted:

Seriously? And she uses the word JAP? She looks cool. In my experience, people who use the word JAP to describe themselves or other Jewish women are massive assholes. Just, horrible people.

Well. Congratulations? I wish her luck.

Busta Chimes.wav posted:

what is that around her neck. is that one of those museum electronic tour things but for an owl farm?

satphone?

Bored fucked around with this message at 00:02 on Jun 11, 2015

# ¿ Jun 10, 2015 23:58

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

LeoMarr posted:

I like that you actually read the posts and realized that I called her a JAP and she never actually used said word.

u mad

# ¿ Jun 11, 2015 03:02

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Otisburg posted:

also lol at anyone who doesn't know the proper term is "ruebenesque."

Her art history class also covered Dr Suess. (Suessian)

Otisburg posted:

Gotta say whichever of the three she is I'm not feeling it.

The one with the beard. Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome can really suck.

# ¿ Jun 19, 2015 18:32

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Nirvikalpa posted:

My self-summary
I can be entirely wooed with words, and I can be turned off by them.

Playfulness, compassion, and intellect are sexy attributes, qualities I seek in a partner, and ones I offer.

What I�m doing with my life
By day I support community-based chronic disease self-management programs throughout New York State. It's a bit of a change from my last gig, supporting the families of hospitalized newborns, but I'm excited about it! I'm headed back to graduate school. I want to run a marathon the year I turn 40.

By night my superpowers include healing the wounds (real and imagined) of the eight-year-old set and balancing all the needs of those worlds that collide nearly single-handedly. Writing. Toying with music. Enjoying some combination of good food, friends, live music, beer/wine/scotch, cycling, and running, when that collision proves stressful.

I�m really good at
Being a friend. Being a lover. Being a mother. My work. Saying the right thing, in the right way, at the right time. I think the common thread in all of this is that I�m inherently a nurturer, and like to grow things. Gardening. Cooking. Writing. I was trained as a classical vocalist for a few years between high school and theatre studies in college (before I left to study journalism), so I can sing well. I can also recite my favorite passage of Shakespearian prose from start-to-finish with dramatic flair. I can also fence, fly fish, knit, weld (but haven�t used this skill in over 15 years), change a tire, perform CPR on a very small baby (or anyone else, for that matter) without freaking out, and navigate streets in Istanbul and Pamukkale (or anywhere else in the world) with a map. I know my way around Penn Station in NYC, but strangely not the Subway system, though I imagine that, too, could be deciphered with a map and patience. In a word, I think this makes me good in a crisis and generally capable.

The first things people usually notice about me
That I can fall easily into conversation with just about any willing partner and that I have a nice voice. Too many people list a physical attribute here, and I�m assuming that you're capable of picking something physical for yourself.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Music: I was raised on showtunes (my father�s influence) and oldies (my mother�s influence) and by some stroke of luck (or perhaps my Vermont environs) I discovered classic rock and the blues. I�ve settled everywhere as a result and call no genre home. I�m currently involved in a passionate love affair with ZZ Ward that�s been going strong for a couple of years. She needs to put out another album. If you can turn me onto someone else, I�d be thrilled.

Shows: GoT, Masters of Sex, Star Trek: TNG, Nurse Jackie, Californication, House of Cards, The Newsroom, The Mindy Project, SNL, Daily Show, Louie, Homeland, Boardwalk Empire, Mad Men

Film: I was raised on classic film and love Hitchcock and Welles. I also think movies should be fun and don't have to delve into auteur theory unless necessary. --But I can rise to that. My only real intellectual film snobbery is that if I�m going to make the time investment to see something in a theater, I�d rather see something that looks like it�s more than the sum of situations the producers have strung together for the preview. Otherwise, I�d just as soon wait for Netflix or iTunes.

Food: I love food. All of it. Summer food! I've recently had to go gluten-free and I've been loving summer cooking. There are few things more indulgent to me than perfectly ripe, fresh summer tomatoes in a Caprese with a chilled summer wine on a hot night. Or a fantastic charcoal-grilled gorgonzola burger (I've found gluten-free rolls) and a *cold* beer.

On the Kindle �Nightstand": Masters of Sex: The Life and Times of William Masters and Virginia Johnson, the Couple Who Taught America How to Love - Maier, 2009.

Books (past favorites): The Ethical Slut - Easton and Hardy, 2009 (life-changing book, recommend!); Anything Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Ayn Rand, Tina Fey, George RR Martin, David L. Robbins. A lot of work-related non-fiction.

The six things I could never do without
(My awesome friends are not things, and neither is my daughter. Therefore they are exempted from this list, but are truly the people I cannot live without.)

Strong dark-roast coffee (iced in the summer)
The sensory experience of a great meal
My running gear
My iPhone
The sensory experience of fantastic sex
Stress management routine

I spend a lot of time thinking about
How to get a decent night of sleep.

Whether "fun 5k runner's rage" is a real thing.

Why lots of men on OK Cupid think that I look like Laura Prepon in OITNB. (Sorry, Laura!)

My next run.

Whether to engage in the awkward conversation that usually commences after men timidly inform me that on OKCupid, "curvy" is a euphemism for overweight and/or obese and that I'd probably have better luck if I changed my body type to "average." To me "average" seems like an insult and I am, indeed "curvy." (I'm a Size 16 woman with hips and breasts.)

Why more men seemed more interested in me when I was openly "bisexual" than when I listed myself as "straight." I'll be interested to see what happens now that there's a "hetero-flexible" option, but I'm not sure what people seem to identify with that word. I've been essentially the same woman, regardless of the terminology.

On a typical Friday night I am
Home watching Airwolf (we've finished Gilmore Girls and Star Trek: TNG) with my almost eight-year-old daughter. If I�m lucky enough to have that particular night to myself, I can be found on a quest (solo or partnered) for adventure. I have very few free Friday nights to myself and I cherish them!

The most private thing I�m willing to admit
That I'm starting to come out of the closet about monogamy as a single woman. It will take a lot to get me to commit to a relationship in the future.

Note: This does not mean that I'm into threesomes.

You should message me if
You want to get to know a strong and compassionate woman who wants conversation (to start) and are willing to be patient and flexible with scheduling time to meet.

You've ever seen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQduN315etk

I prefer to begin messaging back-and-forth a bit before meeting in person. I don't like to exchange phone numbers until after I meet someone in person. I appreciate it when people are candid with their wants/needs/desires and boundaries and attempt to offer the same because I think the dating world is a much friendlier/gentler place when we all do our best with offering this to one another.

So, is she a size 16 in the US, or is this another country? 'Cause 16 is in the plus size section of most clothing stores.

# ¿ Jun 28, 2015 22:04

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

vyst posted:

"15 year olds man. I get older but they barely have started menstruating". "Alright, alright, alright!"

lol

# ¿ Jul 12, 2015 08:41

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Lawman 0 posted:

Heres a winner.

Black girl with pink hair.

Boy is she gonna be disappointed when she goes to Japan and finds out that they dislike otaku there just as much as they do here. Also that japanese people are people and not caricatures, as the animes imply.

Bored fucked around with this message at 23:40 on Jul 14, 2015

# ¿ Jul 14, 2015 23:36

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

EightBit posted:

Turns out women can be too I guess

Oh my yes. If only there were somewhere that :spergin:

's could meet and maybe set up dates. One where they might not have to make eye contact for a while.

I'm gonna go make an okcupid profile to see if I can find the kinds of crazy profiles for dudes that I found previously. Like, one dude, I felt kind of bad for because life was not going well for him. I thought,"maybe he just needs some help." Then I got to something where he said that psychiatry was bullshit and unhappiness was the only state that anyone who is intelligent should be capable of. I mean, my life continues to suck, but I try to find ways to be happy and I don't see how (metaphorically*) making GBS threads on others for finding some way to avoid killing themselves is productive at all.

Now (metaphorically) making GBS threads on people who like anime, that's something I can get behind.

*It's an okcupid thread. making GBS threads on someone is likely someone who's reading's fetish. Kinkshaming is bad, unless it's daddy/dom or any variant of furry.

# ¿ Jul 15, 2015 07:22

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Dr. Tim Whatley posted:

im making GBS threads atm

That's hawt

The blurb putting down women who like pretty boys makes me think he might not be safe. Not badboy unsafe. Like, screws loose unsafe. BTW, the dude isn't fat or really unattractive. Just a bit of the deathstare going on in his picture.

I don't think this guy's profile pic was taken at a wake...

This guy kind of makes me sad. His username is speedy_g

Poor little guy.

Bored fucked around with this message at 21:58 on Jul 15, 2015

# ¿ Jul 15, 2015 08:17

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Coolness Averted posted:

Yes go for it! Helps keep the thread from becoming creepy levels of ladybashing.
We need more queer queers too.
Oh cool you did.

You should ask the second dude if he's ever read Ayn Rand!

Hah! I'm not starting a conversation with any of these people. But I was surprised I didn't see it in there, too. I thought "mensans" and ayn rand went hand-in-hand.
Lot of INTJ dudes, too. But most of them don't have anything super weird beyond that in their profiles. One dude did proudly proclaim he was a tumblrite, but I saw no references to fanfiction and there was no mention of cultural appropriation.

There are a lot of guys that don't really fill out any of the about things. Most of them don't look nearly as much like serial killers as this guy, though.

Another really low effort one:

heh. And no, I didn't crop anything out. That is all he had filled out.

tumblrite:

Unrelated to the above username, but this seems like a really unfortunate reflection off of his glasses. He should fix that poo poo:

I'm kind of tempted to fix it for him, but what if his eyes really are crossed like that.

Bored fucked around with this message at 10:34 on Jul 15, 2015

# ¿ Jul 15, 2015 10:05

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Lawman 0 posted:

I would edit out the names imo just in case.

Justanotherazz wants the attention and there actually wasn't anything wrong with bewb, I'm just really juvenile. Took your advice on the mensan, though. I didn't include speedy's full username. Dicksport is only posted because of his name and lack of anything on profile. Even if it's related to Dick's Sporting Goods, you have to admit it is a terrible choice for an okcupid profile name.

I'm kind of amazed at how many people answer yes to "I think homosexuality is a sin".

Bored fucked around with this message at 22:08 on Jul 15, 2015

# ¿ Jul 15, 2015 22:04

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

actionjackson posted:

Saw this one today

What's funny is that actually is obese if you use BMI.

She gives her breast size for some reason, but only shows pics of her face

Yeah. She's obese. I'm 5'2" and was pushing 170 at my largest. I didn't know I weighed that much until I noticed I had gone from tubby to obese. She probably gave her breast size to avoid mentioning the measurement around the ribcage.

The fat acceptance movement wouldn't accept her though, I don't think. So that's something, I guess.

# ¿ Jul 20, 2015 03:20

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Jimbo Jaggins posted:

Hot chats:

Sounds like she isn't fat. She is going to get so many dates from guys looking for broken girls.

drat horror queefs posted:

I was being sincere.
She is obviously a broken, insane weirdo sadbrained addict and is therefore a perfect fit for most gbs goons

Her being even remotely attractive is just icing on the cake, guy

Go for it. You can be her new addiction. The sex should be awesome. She was a professional, after all.

tbf, of the too much information posts we've seen on here, hers seems the most sane. Probably because she's not blaming anyone else and still seems optimistic about life. Also doesn't seem to expect anyone to come rescue her. Now that I think about, I'd probably hang out with her.

Edit: Decided to go through ok cupid for stuff for this thread again. Still surprised there aren't nearly as many weirdos as there were last year. Here's one that seems odd though. This and his picture (he looks average) are the only things on his profile:

"Ladies, it is all your fault if you don't enjoy sex with me."--internet dating site guy.

Note: Guys overuse "adventurous" as much as girls do.

Bored fucked around with this message at 21:57 on Jul 21, 2015

# ¿ Jul 21, 2015 20:56

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

toggle posted:

why is wanderlust such an overused word on profiles? no one says that word in everyday conversation. how are thousands of profiles across the globe using this word to describe their personalities? it is really bizarre when you think about it

and all profiles read the same, on all sites too. a collective online dating website consciousness or some poo poo

Or, with a lot of guys, they don't write anything at all. Maybe that's one of the reasons guys have to do most of the asking on these sites.

Unrelated:

So many Random caps on Things. Isn't that a Sign of untreated mental Illness? He also likes Erotical,Novels, and Fashion Books.

There was also a pre-op mtf (I'm only searching for males seeking females) that showed up on matches. No clue what the percentages of friend and enemy were. They're a single parent but wrote that they think about their transition. I can't find them right now, or I'd give an exact quote. While it's boring for single parents to list their kids as what they spend a lot of time thinking about, thinking about your transition constantly seems unhealthy when raising your kid. So glad I am not that person, though.

Bored fucked around with this message at 21:56 on Jul 21, 2015

# ¿ Jul 21, 2015 21:42

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

drat horror queefs posted:

how are we supposed to gawk at internet weirdos without pictures

where are rhe loving pics obama
WHWRE R THE FUCKINF PICS

I just don't feel like posting pics if they aren't funny. The only one that was kind of funny was the mtf, and that's cause they were wearing a bad wig that looked like some kind of 60's mom wig. Like the one I wore for Halloween one year when I dressed up as Dr. Girlfriend. But with a headband. And they just kind of made me sad.

# ¿ Jul 21, 2015 22:01

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Otisburg posted:

so many women put pictures of pictures of their kids like as the default profile picture or just really hammer on it in their profile and it's a dealbreaker for me. not that i am against dating moms, at my age it's pretty much expected, but god drat don't involve them that way in your dating life

Guys do this too, though. I like having that instant redflag there.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2015 02:12