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When you eat your food close your mouth. I don't want to hear you loudly munching, slurping, and gulping your food you disgusting animals.
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Jan 5, 2016 17:11
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Murphy Brownback posted:The fact that major news organizations like CNN have front pages that read more like buzzfeed than news. It's always been kind of a thing on the entertainment sections and all, but it's creeping into the real headline news articles. I still want news so I feel compelled to click it to find out whats about to blow my mind, but I don't want to encourage such a silly practice. And I don't give a poo poo what @Blayze420 on Twitter has to say about the news, stop crawling Tweets across the screen.
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Jan 5, 2016 20:34
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bradzilla posted:People who think anyone cares what their opinion is on the order of eating food. It's my food, I'll eat it in the order I loving please. Cold fries are next to inedible, cold burgers aren't that bad. Fries first forever.
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Jan 5, 2016 21:55
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mostlygray posted:I get irritated by the opposite. The people that think all animals will kill them. Be it fish, cat, dog, hamster, etc. My recently deceased dog was barky but friendly and never even snapped at a soul. Yet almost every repairman would prefer to listen to a dog bark for 2 hours locked up rather than let him say hello. I've never been bitten by a dog so maybe it's just a hangup that I don't have. The repairmen probably don't want a dog getting underfoot while they are working or running out the door when they go to get tools from the truck rather than being afraid of your dog.
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Jan 21, 2016 18:06
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Geeze, you girls and your constant complaining. You'd look much prettier if you lost the scowl and smiled. 
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Jan 21, 2016 20:37
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http://i.imgur.com/WadTzgO.gif
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Jan 21, 2016 20:58
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GOTTA STAY FAI posted:And there it is. How does anyone on this planet honestly think yelling "HEY BABE NICE WORKOUT I WANNA LICK YOUR rear end" to a stranger is going to get them anything other than ignored at best, or maced and kicked in the junk at worst? Has anyone ever heard that and thought "YES, FINALLY, A KEEPER!" (other than a serial killer hunting for trophies)? gung-ho garbageman
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Jan 21, 2016 21:24
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Tiggum posted:This is basically my experience of every time I have something delivered by Australia Post that's larger than a normal letter. Except that in my case the note is in the mailbox and I'm pretty sure they just saw that my flat is at the back of the building and couldn't be bothered coming up here. The worst was a microwave oven that I got delivered specifically so I wouldn't have to carry it home (since I don't have a car). Ended up having to walk to the post office to pick it up anyway since they didn't bother trying to actually deliver it. I've seen that happen with couriers; they walk up, knock and without waiting hang the "you weren't home" tag and leave. Unless the person was standing behind the door they would have no chance of getting their package. It's all very odd.
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Feb 5, 2016 06:24
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More bathroom chat. Forget short necked taps. I miss actual hot water. Now that most sinks seem to use motion sensors to run the temperature never seems to get above barely not cold because I can't regulate the amount of hot versus cold. I don't need near boiling heat, but warm water would be nice. Plus hot water is better for cleaning my hands. I miss you actually hot water  . (In public washrooms and the like obviously)
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Apr 25, 2016 03:25
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Tendai posted:Teachers who don't like kids. If you don't like kids, gently caress off out of the business. There's a big difference between occasionally venting to friends about what a little poo poo so and so is, and calling someone who's proctoring tests for your students and ranting for ten minutes about how one of them is a bastard and the rest of them are garbage. Because the kids crush your ability to care. You start out caring, but after a decade they smother that spark, and you just wish they'd all go away.
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May 4, 2016 16:46
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Tiggum posted:I know what it means and where it comes from, I've even read Stranger in a Strange Land, I just think it's really obnoxious to use it in real life. It a perfectly cromulent word.
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Jun 13, 2016 05:10
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Cowslips Warren, reading about your job, your friends, and occasionally family; have you ever considered faking your own death and moving far far away to start a new life? It couldn't be worse than what you seem to deal with on a daily basis now. Just a thought. I'm not trying to get on your case, but it seems to me you might considering applying goon rule number one and  from your current life.
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Jul 7, 2016 17:33
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Digirat posted:COOKING FOR ONE, FOR BEGINNERS *every recipe has 16 ingredients* Buy special ingredient that only comes in larger quantities for a recipe that needs three nano grams of said ingredient. You know what? How about we skip that and not have a container of "whatever" sit around for the next 12-24 months, I'll just use "common ingredient that is nearly identical yet is already on hand in reasonable quantities".
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Jul 13, 2016 04:30
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Hashtags. Especially on Facebook. I have a friend that can't post anything on FB without five or more hashtags and it can be so insufferable. Face to face, they are great. Online they are some kind of caricature. #grateful #family #friends #camping #culture #art Why? For what purpose? If you click on any of these it just shows you a load of strangers that applied the same tag to their posts. Why yes I am a grumpy old man that wants these drat kids off of his digital lawn, thanks for asking.
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Jul 13, 2016 18:39
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Useless replies on Facebook. Jill: Hey I left my umbrella at Bill's place, can someone who lives on the same end of town as me grab it? That would be great. Marcy: Oh I'm sorry, I left Bill's an hour ago or I would have totally grabbed your umbrella. Sorry. Why are you saying this Marcy? Who cares? If you can't help, just keep out of it. Are you trying to look like a conscientious person, because if you are it isn't working. Also see thousands of variations of useless replies to simple questions.
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Aug 1, 2016 14:09
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When you are friends with "Dave" and not "Amy" but Amy chimes in on Dave's discussion and the whole thing gets derailed by someone you typically avoid like the plague as she is tumblr come to life. Today's topic? Grammar, its effective use and application by professional writers. Amy's contribution? How correct use of punctuation is a rich white male invention and doesn't need to be adhered to for that reason. Hey amy. fuk uuuuuu, ya daffy See YOU Nxt Tewsday!
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Aug 12, 2016 17:19
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The issue I have with tissue and organ donation is the ever growing for profit sector of the industry. http://www.npr.org/2012/07/17/156876476/calculating-the-value-of-human-tissue-donation There are dozens of articles about how profitable your donation is to the various companies that harvest your various bits. Sorry if it seems selfish to deny those that need eyes and heart valves, but the comoditization of my body after death just feels disgusting. Use my parts to help those in life threatening need, fine. Use my parts to sell to companies not saving lives, not fine. Indolent Bastard has a new favorite as of 02:11 on Aug 30, 2016 |
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Aug 30, 2016 02:09
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Geokinesis posted:You'd get fined for not having a green lawn in a drought? Welcome to the wonderful world of Home Owner Associations.
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Sep 2, 2016 15:26
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Tiggum posted:Non-Indians, speaking English, who say "namaste". So how do I say “I bow to godly/good qualities within you"? What's the approved white guy equivalent?
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Sep 30, 2016 14:33
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Tiggum posted:Why do you want to say that? That's a weird thing to say. Wow...racist. E: That is meant as a joke, but I'm almost certain that with out inflection it won't come across as such. E2: Mostly because saying "goodbye" is boring, "later" and "I’m out" is very 2000s, "peace" is lame and co-opts urban culture, "blessed be" is nauseating, "peace be with you" is too Catholic. And just look at this poo poo on Yahoo Answers: Hello: What's crackalackin? What it do, home skillet? (or home slice) How's things, chickadee? Sup frylock? What up? Yo-yo yiggidy-yo! Heeeeeeey (with sleezy eyebrows lifting up and down) Howdy stranger. What's shakin' bacon? SPEAK! Where have you been all my life? Don't even think about not saying hi. Fail. (while pointing and raising eyebrows) Relax. I'm here. Bye: Catch ya on the flipside. (Rocco from Boondock Saints) Peace! (or peace out bra). Time for me to peace out. Seeya! Adidas amigo/amiga. Later gater. Seeya, wouldn't wanna be ya. Bye-sexual. Until we meet again. (Tip imaginary hat) Hold the fort down, will ya? I have to go. (paired with shifty eyes and abrupt departure). I'll be bock. (Arnold voice) Indolent Bastard has a new favorite as of 15:08 on Sep 30, 2016 |
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Sep 30, 2016 15:02
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DarkCrawler posted:Mother The Executioner
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Oct 25, 2016 17:59
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oldpainless posted:During lunch I quietly read my Bible but am always amicable whenever someone wishes to have a pleasant chat. More like oldtestamentless.
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Nov 3, 2016 18:39
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Also benzodiazepine. But I like bennies as the short form in this instance.
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Nov 20, 2016 13:53
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bad boy in the boy band posted:I want to punch people who don't pronounce their drat T's in words. Don't worry they end up in other words like "acrosst" as in "acrosst the street" (one of my peeves)
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Nov 21, 2016 20:01
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Why am I suddenly surrounded with people that compulsively chew their nails and or pick their teeth with bits of card? It's so loud, gross, and annoying. What the hell happened to the most rudimentary of manner. FFS.
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Dec 1, 2016 08:27
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Tiggum posted:People who say "oval office" isn't offensive in Australia. It's not even close to true, it's still one of the most offensive words you could use in most situations, stop telling foreigners otherwise. It's used to the point of merely being punctuation in their speech. oval office tossed in casually isn't shocking to me the way it can be if used exclusively as an expletive. Like the N-bomb. When used in context between people of color it doesn't have the same shock value as someone using it to try and provoke someone. That said, if it bothers you I certainly can't do anything to change that, and I'm sorry it does bother you. But the odds of oval office being removed from the Australian lexicon is all but nil.
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Dec 7, 2016 04:45
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Agean90 posted:The word adulting.  
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Dec 12, 2016 21:45
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Che Delilas posted:There's only one appropriate category of response to this question under these circumstances, and an example is, "She flipped her vette." Or alternatively, she died doing what she loved... Though due to the fatal heart attack they can't finish Granny Gangbang 27.
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Dec 14, 2016 05:31
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WampaLord posted:My only beef with giftcards is that when you get down to an unusable amount of money left on them and it's just free money for the company to pocket. Bullshit. I should be able to go into your store with my giftcard worth $2.39 and get exactly that much cash back for turning it in. I just hand it to the person behind me to use the last of it up if it's under $2. It really brightens their day and it stops the money from being wasted.
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Jan 5, 2017 15:27
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Henchman of Santa posted:Some people use hyperbole I'm addicted to hyperbole
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Jan 19, 2017 17:26
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yo rear end is grass posted:Covering up the license plate I assume. Obviously. But why? What will anyone do with that info? If you aren't in law enforcement what could you do with a plate number?
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Jan 26, 2017 16:30
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bean_shadow posted:"Do you ever notice how nobody knows a single Muslim song?" Do you ever notice how Muslim's typically don't do poo poo like sing in "Arabic" (More Muslims speak Indonesian and Chinese dialects and Urdu than those who speak Arabic) on public transportation because some hate filled rear end in a top hat will harass them or possibly assault them?
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Feb 3, 2017 15:33
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Whiz Palace posted:Sorry for the call out but this is thread-appropriate. It's not wrong because there's no set definition of "language" or "dialect", but it's still misleading. Fair point. That's what happens when you copy paste like I did. You are absolutely correct.
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Feb 3, 2017 16:29
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Killingyouguy! posted:Playing a board game, someone says, "pass me the dice." Seems fine, right? That depends, are you in the US or the UK? Dice is commonly used to indicate a single die in the UK.
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Feb 14, 2017 16:40
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oldpainless posted:Please don't leave my wife More like old wifeless. We're still doing this gag, right?
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Feb 15, 2017 23:03
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Cowslips Warren posted:Motherfucking funeral processions that close highways. Tomorrow two of our major highways will be closed starting about noon, till 3, maybe 4pm. A cop died, so the procession will start at his church, then go all the way down the main loving corridor highway during pre rush hour, with every policeman in the area attending, down to his family's plot. Sounds like its time to get the gang back together for a heist.
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Mar 2, 2017 15:03
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oldpainless posted:It's illegal for a landlord to have a key to his own property? More like old-keyless (entry)
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Aug 23, 2017 17:11
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Aesop Poprock posted:like crows? I dunno what the gently caress birds you're referring to Geese. It's always geese.
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Aug 25, 2017 22:05
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:After this many years of internet being commonplace, why are college/uni online components still so loving poorly designed? Because too many schools let different offices choose their own technology to purchase and support. Even if it's the rare instance where it's all one technology, you can't tell faculty members ANYTHING so they do whatever they want with it. Any uniformity that a school displays is all a facade. Behind the scenes it's a never ending nightmare of petty bickering and outright incompetence, balanced with a bunch of dedicated staff fighting the good fight for lord knows what reason.
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Aug 31, 2017 01:20
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MightyJoe36 posted:"trying to fill the void in your life with flour and sugar and egg and vanilla? i mean, we are all unhappy. do we have to be fat, too?" Crab bucket thinking. "What, you are too good to be a fat mess like the rest of us?" I appreciate the offer, but 300-400 calories of mediocre doughnut or muffin just seems like a bad choice. Some times I will take one and set it aside to throw out later just to avoid the low level attitude you get for refusing.
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Sep 19, 2017 14:09
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