UKMT January and a bit of February 2016: Marxist Theory and Danczuk Memes

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT January and a bit of February 2016: Marxist Theory and Danczuk Memes

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

The unrelenting parade of atrocity that was Anno Domini 2015 is finally behind us, and so is whatever small spark of joy that we could scrape together over Christmas. It's all downhill from here as we face at the least another four years of Tory government, who are buoyed by a virulently anti-Corbyn press. Who also love nothing more than hacking murdered teenager's mobile phones and make an enormous brouhaha about the country letting in a handful of poor bastards fleeing the wartorn hellscape that is Syria/Libya/Pick shithole of your choice here.

But all is not lost! After a rousing and rigorous debate in the Houses of Parliament, our wise government has decided to tackle the existential threat that is Islamic State by sending a handful of planes into Syria. We in UKMT broadly agreed with this course of action, swayed by the reasoning that if the refugees are fleeing bombs and terror, raining bombs and terror on everyone will stabilize the region, and that such notions as "having a strategy before commencing bombing" would only mean the terrorists win.

The Wise Patriarch of the British Nation

:siren:

The biggest news of the year was probably the UK General Elections, which saw the pollsters pretty much cock everything up spectacularly. Going into the election most people believed then-Labour leader Ed Miliband had a decent shot at becoming PM. The morning after, Labour had been handed a pretty brutal drubbing whilst the pro-apartheid Conservative Party had enough seats to form a government with no need to enter into a second coalition with the Liberal Democrats.

Because the Liberal Democrats got loving dunked on.

The bloodbath saw the Lib Dems go from 57 seats and a position in the Tory-Lib Dem coalition government to a hilariously pathetic 8 seats. This bloodbath was even greater than many predicted. The primary reason is widely accepted to be because they reneged on the central promise to their core voters - that they would vote against tuition fee rises for uni students. Shortly after getting into government they supported tuition fee rises. As a result they went from being a strong and seemingly ascendant third party to an utterly irrelevant position. They also got only about 2/3 of the votes UKIP did, but thanks to the entirely fair and level-headed First Past The Post voting system, they got eight seats while UKIP got one.

The other big election night story was north of the border, in the mysterious and foreboding realm of the Scots. Capitalizing on both the Lib Dem's collapse, and the revelation that England didn't mean all those nice things said about Scotland during the 2014 Referendum, the Scottish National Party took the place of third party by number of MPs.

Just to clarify this for you all;

SNP: 1,454,436 votes, 56 MPs.
Liberal Democrats: 2,415,862 votes, 8 MPs.
UKIP: 3,881,099 votes, 1 MP.
Green Party: 1,157,613 votes, 1 MP.

The system works.

:siren:

In the aftermath of all this, Miliband resigned and a leadership contest in the Labour Party was held. There were three contenders for the throne; Blairite wind sock Yvette Cooper, Blairite weather vane Andy Burnham, and Blairite e-mail author Liz Kendall. A few in the party thought the debate might be healthier with a different viewpoint being involved, so another person ended up in the running for the role - Jeremy Corbyn.

The Great Red Hope

Veteran socialist democrat Corbyn was not going to win, obviously, he wasn't in the running - but it's healthy to have a robust exchange of differing viewpoints and make sure the members feel they are being heard.

Jezza proceeded to stomp the competition into the god drat ground winning the first round of voting with 59.5%, meaning no further rounds were needed. A large part of this came from members who joined the party for a nominal fee specifically to vote for Corbyn, which the PLP establishment took as a sign that they should completely ignore it all and try to knife Corbyn in the back, whilst pursuing the same electoral strategies and policies that just lost Ed Miliband the election.

:siren:

Other Events Occurred

Some other stuff happened too last year, among them highlights such as:

Jeremy Clarkson decking an Irish fella and finally getting the boot from Top Gear. He and his mates then secure an enormous deal to make basically the same show for another channel.
Ongoing investigations have revealed that basically every member of the British political and media establishment during the 70s and 80s was a nonce. None moreso than Jimmy Savile, who used his position as celebrity and philanthropist to gain access to a vast number of people to abuse. Former PM Ted Heath is also implicated.
Half the country ended up underwater at year's end.
The House of Lords actually did something useful and threw a big spanner in the works for Gideon Osbourne's efforts to scupper tax credits. This wildly unpopular scheme was eventually dropped, but the temerity of the upper house doing their jobs and holding legislation to account has made a lot of Tories very very cross, and it may not go unpunished.
History's Greatest Monster Stephen Fry married his partner.
Leicester City FC maintains an extremely strong position in the Premier League tables, at times being the top ranked team. Dogs and cats believed to be in peace talks.
Tim Peake went to the ISS, the jammy bastard.
Absolute plonker Simon Danczuk is suspended by the Labour Party because he sent naughty texts to a young woman. Unsure whether anything actually illegal happened, but there was much rejoicing that such a pillock has shot himself in the foot.
Dreamboat Idris Elba and Greatest Son of Norn Iron Jimmy Nesbitt received OBEs.
It came to light that David Cameron hosed A Dead Pig (DCFADP). There are those who highlight that this is an unsubstantiated allegation which is yet to be proven in any way. This is a twelfth type.

Actual Quote From David Cameron, Noted Pigfucker

:siren:

Penultimately, for the sake of posterity, here are some of last year's UKMTs:

And finally, please keep these points in mind:

quote:

1. It's not a person's fault if they are poor;
2. It's not their fault if they are disabled;
3. Neo-liberalism doesn't work;
4. The Daily Mail lies (maybe even about Pig Dave and charity);
5. Neo-liberalism has never worked;
6. The British Empire was not a force for good;
7. Neo-liberalism will never work;
8. Trans people are not "men in dresses";
9. Gendered insults are not okay;
10. If something is "so gay" it had better be something that is really happy;
11. Trains are awesome;
12. The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles.

Welcome to 2016 all! :toot:

Not sure of the difference between left and right? Got you covered:

Ms Adequate fucked around with this message at 17:37 on Jan 28, 2016

# ¿ Jan 1, 2016 06:35

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 20:23

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Jose posted:

no poll in the op smh

There was meant to be a poll? :ohdear:

That movie looks so amazingly dumb it could easily loop around into being great.

# ¿ Jan 1, 2016 17:02

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Lord of the Llamas posted:

NI in particular irritates me (no I don't particularly think Corbyn took the right line on NI) since every single loving side whether it be the the governments, IRA, loyalist paramilitaries, or the British Army has civilian blood on their hands because the whole situation was a total cluster gently caress and there's just a lot of innocent victims so anyone getting on their high horse about Corbyn sympathising with "the other side" is a hypocrite.

My nan doesn't!

Fake e; I just finished reading The Fatal Shore about Transportation to Australia. Clearly Gove's best solution is to ship convicts up to the moon where they can pay off their debt to society in a penal colony that is building the foundations of a permanent free settlement. Before Newt gets his Astromen up there.

# ¿ Jan 2, 2016 00:35

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Coohoolin posted:

Aaaand my nan picks the least convenient time to die on us. Typical.

On the bright side, I haven't forgotten all of my primary school recorder skills and can toot something out on the tin whistle, and my H4 Zoom arrived today so i can finally get on with developing my soundcloud and poo poo.

Sorry man, condolences

# ¿ Jan 3, 2016 19:21

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Wait when did sex work suddenly become something we can all have a go at people for? If Saurus' wife did it, that's her business.

# ¿ Jan 11, 2016 17:08

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

big scary monsters posted:

Hang on, run that by me again - two? loving hell, Rockefeller must have descended from the heavens to bestow such an outlay upon us.

# ¿ Jan 11, 2016 23:37

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

big scary monsters posted:

What is everyone's favourite anime?

Mew Mew Kissy Cutie.

# ¿ Jan 12, 2016 01:29

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

thespaceinvader posted:

Let's not forget, he's also the person who's dodged EVERY loving urgent questions session scheduled for him in Parliament since I think October.

Is that even... allowed? Isn't there some sort of censure that can be leveled against him, at the very least? Shouldn't he get called into the Speaker's chambers to explain to the headmaster why exactly he was dossing about instead of in class?

# ¿ Jan 12, 2016 21:54

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

shrike82 posted:

is the issue with london real estate a demand or supply issue?

I don't think capitalist theory allows for a problem of too much demand - demand is a great thing under that system, because it allows for more profits to be made by meeting it. Indeed capitalism is fundamentally predicated (at least in theory) on the idea of finding where demand exceeds supply and making up the shortfall.

That is why critiques have to come from different angles, such as the leftist one that this highlights how and why infinite growth is unsustainable and/or inapplicable at least some of the time, or that it can cause active harm (such as during acute shortages which are not in fact being met by increased supply for one reason or another), or the environmental one that says the considerations are different and relate to environmental issues, not economic ones, to give two examples.

Renaissance Robot posted:

"There exist empty houses on the market, therefore there is obviously no supply problem" is one I hear quite a bit, and I'm never fully certain how to refute it. Best I've got is that most of those either aren't up to code or are in the wrong place.

Those are both valid points, but on top of that not every house is suitable for every prospective tenant or buyer. You wouldn't stick an old retired nan in a big four bedroom thing, it's daft.

That said it's true that there is no real supply problem because the solution is very simple; seize all unused properties and house people in them. Also hang all the landlords.

# ¿ Jan 13, 2016 18:59

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

dispatch_async posted:

Allow me to empty the rest of that glass:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...wed-system.html

There are days when I can't even leave my bedroom because my anxiety is so severe. There are times when I write up a post and don't post it, because I'm terrified beyond reason of doing so. After I made this month's OP I spent days worrying about it and thinking it was poo poo and I'll have to make a new account to escape the shame of it. I have, (though this is more boast than confession, being a goon), pissed in a bottle rather than gone to the loo and risked bumping into someone.

So if IDS can find me a job where I don't have to talk to anyone at all, don't have anyone ever review what I do, and can take an indefinite amount of time off with zero warning, without upper limits, then yeah I guess that could work. Somehow I'm not entirely convinced, however, that this new project is going to have the nuance he claims.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2016 22:09

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Pork Pie Hat posted:

Anyone reporting it as anything but a crisis for the refugees needs to take a loving long hard look at themselves.

Don't worry, they'll have time to reflect as they await the wall.

# ¿ Jan 21, 2016 17:47

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

IceAgeComing posted:

im pretty sure the person who attacked an mp with a samurai sword must be a goon

gently caress, I've been rumbled.

e; Dear Plod, the above was a joke, I have not committed nor do I advocate murder.

Ms Adequate fucked around with this message at 03:12 on Jan 24, 2016

# ¿ Jan 24, 2016 03:07

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Oberleutnant posted:

Yeah I need a job to live

This is a type.

# ¿ Jan 26, 2016 18:01

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Regarde Aduck posted:

You can be leftist and still realise that there are physical limits to infrastructure. With the point being that no where in Europe has actually reached these limits. Acting like there is no upper limit to a countries capacity for immigration doesn't help anyone.

But that infrastructure hinges to a large extent on two things, namely investment and technology. The impact of each will be determined to some extent by the other, but anyway, my point is that whilst there may in principle be an upper limit to what a country can sustain, that is going to be a constantly moving target, trending upwards over the long term. Moreover, there are countries whose circumstances mean they do have to be very careful about how many they take in because that number, changing though it might be, is very low - somewhere like Iceland has no hope of absorbing as many people as the US or UK can. But in a country like ours the ability, or not, to take in a decent number of refugees and/or immigrants isn't realistically rooted in our true infrastructural limitations, it's rooted in a failure to invest in, maintain, and expand that infrastructure, whether for reasons of Westminster politics, Tory ideology, NIMBYism, or other.

# ¿ Jan 27, 2016 04:59

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Namtab posted:

IT in the nhs is a joke and will remain a joke until a government manages to procure a national system every hcp can tap into.

Nah, that sounds like some kind of inefficient government bureaucratic thing. A shitload of private contractors all working on their own systems is obviously better because Free Market Competition.

# ¿ Jan 27, 2016 22:23

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Oberleutnant posted:

Add it to the op imo

Done.

# ¿ Jan 28, 2016 17:37

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

I've been to the shops in my jammies, what kind of upper-middle-class twat hasn't?

# ¿ Jan 28, 2016 18:44

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

EmptyVessel posted:

Unrelated: I hope you have all signed this timely petition: https://www.change.org/p/support-lemmy-tribute-name-newly-discovered-heavy-metal-lemmium

It's loving well called Elerium and I'll let this planet burn to ash and throw all seven billion of us on the pyre before I accept otherwise.

# ¿ Jan 28, 2016 21:03

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

EmptyVessel posted:

Ah, a UFOlogist..

Drop a Chrysalid on Westminster, that'd sort 'em.

Regarde Aduck posted:

I'm a terrible man child. I still play Pokemon games. I waste hours of my life playing elite:dangerous and I regret everything. But I've never gone to the shops in pyjamas.

"waste" as though video games are not second only to anime as the best use of time.

# ¿ Jan 29, 2016 00:12

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Oberleutnant posted:

Hey fuckstick.

http://data.unhcr.org/syrianrefugees/regional.php

God it pisses me off so much, seeing poo poo like this. The EU has over 500,000,000 citizens. Most would agree that sending all five million refugees to a single country would be less than ideal (though with a concerted national effort in Germany, France, or the UK, we could probably take them in), but if arrivals were fairly and sensibly distributed we could take in the entire population of loving Syria with barely any trouble.

# ¿ Jan 29, 2016 02:29

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Fluo

# ¿ Jan 31, 2016 17:52

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Tyrion Lannister suggested a decent way to go: At an advanced age, lying in bed, with a bellyful of wine and a beautiful woman's lips around my cock.

# ¿ Jan 31, 2016 18:46

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Oberleutnant posted:

^That and...

A far bigger contributor is the mass, indiscriminate use of antibiotics in factory livestock farming necessitated by the horrendous living conditions of animals. I don't hear you complaining about that you nasty little poo poo.

You forgot to point out he's an empire-fetishizing slavery apologist! :cmon:

you're slipping.

Also seems like all this GP waiting could be avoided if we... nah, that's nuts.

I was going to say if we funded the NHS better and were able to hire more people for it and make sure infrastructure keeps up with demand, but I realized that's the same kind of madness that makes Corbyn unelectable.

# ¿ Feb 1, 2016 19:02

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Go to the doctor. Vastly better to find out it's some normal benign thing that will go away in a month than to die of cancer or something. I had some weird lumps in my earlobes a few years ago, they were just something with my sebaceous glands, perfectly harmless and went away after awhile. I tried to apologize (out of habit) for taking up his time, but the doctor was sternly insistent that I did the right thing going to see him and should always do so with lumps or the like.

# ¿ Feb 1, 2016 22:07

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

I didn't even know you could get CBT on the NHS, I've always had to pay hundreds for a pro domme to step on me knackers, and she only does it for an hour. Get it on the NHS, you're in there, bet they can do all sorts with catheters and sterilized needles and such.

# ¿ Feb 2, 2016 04:04

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 20:23

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

There's a new thread up lads, for those who missed it.

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3762787

# ¿ Feb 3, 2016 02:50

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT January and a bit of February 2016: Marxist Theory and Danczuk Memes