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I, for one, salute the brave men and women that milk those cougars.
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Jan 12, 2018 18:51
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Samizdata posted:I used to work at a place that made veggie burgers. One night I got worked at bulk prepping dry mix. Adding the soy, the torula yeast, the beet powder, the seasoning into a barrel... All of a sudden, my supervisor walks over and asks me if I am okay. I answer in the affirmative. He keeps asking me and I keep saying I am fine. I finished that barrel, jack up the pallet jack, and start rolling to the next area. As I did I walked by a place with interior windows. I looked in the window to see what was going on and realized what my supervisor was talking about. The area I was working in was warm, and I had gotten the beet powder on my forehead and sweated... LOL he thought you might be bleeding and didn't mention the problem? Like maybe you have a head injury and don't realize it because you have a loving head injury, and now you are turning those veggie burgers into cannibalism burgers.
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Jan 12, 2018 19:15
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Sandwich Anarchist posted:The glass is spun sugar and edible It looks like real glass. I guess the only way to find out for sure is to take a bite.
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Jan 14, 2018 05:48
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:But can't they call it "Pleased by Hummus" or "Not Underwhelmed by Hummus" or "Not Disappointed in This Here Hummus" or just anything else? I've rarely been delighted by hummus, as much as I like it. "I Can't Believe it's Chickpeas!"
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Jan 17, 2018 20:09
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Bone apple teeth!
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Jan 20, 2018 06:41
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Ignite Memories posted:So was gf just constantly making GBS threads her guts out, or did she also not eat the food she cooked? Maybe she was trying to kill him. A higher risk of food poisoning still isn't a 100% certainty of food poisoning. If everything about the source meat was flawless before she under-cooked it, then it could be fine to eat it half raw. The problem is that there is just no reasonable way to know if it is safe or not, so a prudent person assumes it is unsafe.
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Jan 23, 2018 18:27
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Ugh, this reminds me of the time I tried an extremely low carb diet. It doesn't take long for the novelty to wear off and start craving normal foods, then you start finding replacement recipes. Use ground up cauliflower in place of mashed potatoes! Use ground up cauliflower in place of pizza crust! Let's see if I can find some thread relevant pictures.  Okay, this may not look quite as sad as the grey brick of cauliflower loaf, but trust me, it IS just as sad.  This looks like it might be yummy, but trust me, it is not. It almost looks like banana bread, but in reality it is a bland brick of sadness.  They call this one low carb cauliflower Mac ‘N Cheese. Do not believe their lies. Your children (or your inner child) will not be fooled. Don't get me wrong, if you like cauliflower then you might love cheesy cauliflower, but if you call it Mac 'N Cheese there is nothing here but disappointment.
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Jan 23, 2018 23:13
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BlankIsBeautiful posted:
Mmm, Partially Defatted Cooked Pork Fatty Tissue, my favorite! What even is that? My guess is that it is that it's the left over bits from manufacturing pure lard. Impure lard.
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Jan 24, 2018 18:52
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Semisponge posted:Have you ever smelled formalin? It is extremely nasty. Every time I see that tub o brains the sense-memory of formalin smell just comes rushing back. If it is an abandoned hospital it would need to be something that wouldn't evaporate too quickly, or they would have found a tub of dried out brains.
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Jan 27, 2018 11:11
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RoboRodent posted:We're all just a lump of wrinkly fat in a meat suit. Hey hey hey, not just a lump. There's also dangly bits.  Beauty is only skin deep.
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Jan 28, 2018 03:31
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RoboRodent posted:My high school didn't have a cafeteria. That was for bigger schools. We had a canteen that sold cup noodles and candy and sometimes pizza ordered from a local pizza place, but it never had a line so much as it had a mass of students pushing their way forward. My family moved around a lot too, so I went to a dozen schools in Alberta and BC and not one of them had any kind of free lunch program. Everybody brought their own lunch. Some schools we ate at our desks, others there was a lunch room to eat in to keep crumbs out of the classrooms. I didn't see a proper cafeteria until high school, a school with 2500 students, and even then most kids brought lunch from home. I remember once I forgot my lunch and my mom couldn't bring it, so the secretary got me a frozen peanut butter sandwich from the freezer in the staff lounge. I wonder if they still do that, or if fear of peanut allergies shut the whole thing down. Out socialism'd by the USA. 
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Feb 1, 2018 17:44
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Why did it get 20 likes though? Do people just hit like on every post without looking?
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Feb 7, 2018 04:13
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rndmnmbr posted:Consider that it is manufactured to taste acceptable to animals, and smell good to people - after all, it does have to appeal to people at least in some small way because we're the ones buying it. I don't think it's designed to taste like much of anything. I was a weird kid and tried a few kinds of cat kibble, dog kibble, and milkbone. It all pretty much taste like gritty grains. Cat Chow had a bit of a tangy flavour, dog food had very little flavour at all. Probably similar to the flavour of Ensure or Soylent, if they had an unsweetened version with no artificial flavour, but grittier. Did I mention it's quite gritty? Probably the ground up chicken bones. Anyway, they spray the outside of the kibble with stinky oil, that's what gives the kibble the meaty smell. Cats and dogs don't chew and ruminate over the food the way humans do, so they don't care as much about the flavour, they decide to eat something or not based on the smell. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=220PSFJWHao
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Feb 17, 2018 23:48
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Ziv Zulander posted:I'm into it. It's brunch for her grandmother. It's a fun family thing. Beep. Boop.
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Feb 19, 2018 23:33
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Harvey Mantaco posted:My kid would have drawn a dick and then lost the paper Your kid has moxie. Telling grandma to eat a dick is a bold move. Especially for brunch.
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Feb 20, 2018 02:39
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This person's grandmother must be so embarrassed. What are they teaching kids in home ec these days?
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Feb 20, 2018 10:18
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I don't. Why the egg? Is that cheese? Wha?
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Feb 21, 2018 02:29
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This takes me back. When I was a kid in the 70s the gelatin salad table at potlucks was a loving minefield. Being a kid at first you think they are going to be sweet, like jello, and some of them are. There was a sort of lime jello coleslaw that turned up pretty often that was pretty good. Then one day betrayal! This isn't jello, it's unsweetened gelatin, and it's weirdly salty, and some of those lumps aren't fruits or vegetables at all! I don't know what this is, but it is revolting. I have a huge dollop of it on my plate, I can't eat this, so I'm like 5 years old and trying to sneakily dispose of it so I can go back to the table and get something else. From then on every potluck involves peering into the murky jiggling masses trying to determine what they might be before making a commitment. Worse were the opaque ones, it might be cool whip , mayonnaise, or sour cream, but there was also a chance it could be loving canned mushroom soup. Game over man, game over. edit: Mmm, lime jello coleslaw 
Facebook Aunt has a new favorite as of 07:17 on Feb 23, 2018 |
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Feb 23, 2018 07:15
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Enfys posted:
In the 70s we didn't know any better.  On the other hand, no one ever tried to feed you Kale, so it wasn't all bad.
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Feb 23, 2018 08:20
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KHLAV KALASHNIKOV posted:Am I the only one who gets a "key party" vibe every time I see pictures of people doing... fondue... things? I thought it might have been the '70s aesthetic that invariably comes with it, but no, it was still there with the brief fondue resurgence about ten years ago. Let's all dip our sticks together. 
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Feb 23, 2018 18:39
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Haifisch posted:People trusted a lot in the wonders of microwave ovens back when they were mysterious and new. There was an idea that you could cook pretty much anything in a microwave that you could in a regular oven. (Note cooking time suggestions for things like roasts, lasagna, casseroles, and meatloaf) Which...isn't technically wrong in some cases, but still produces stuff that's gross because of the differences in the cooking method. It was an amazing time in culinary history. Your mom definitely knew how to cook from scratch, and your grandma could probably cook from scratch over a fire oven, but all that poo poo was boring and time consuming. And there was so much new poo poo nobody knew what to do with!
It was weirdly exciting for housewives (and working housewives). You had all these options. No need to make a regular salad when you could have a jello salad. And there were terrible cookbooks to show you the way.      Perfect for any dinner party/key party.
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Feb 25, 2018 10:56
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Sakurazuka posted:We don't have ranch in Europe You do have all kinds of cream based sauces though. French food always seems to have some white goop on it. Goop is goop.
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Feb 26, 2018 09:33
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The Snoo posted:e: oh he drained the fuckin beans. or maybe u could add the liquid it for body and flavor bc if you actually cook it for longer than an hour it won't be 'watery' I've always been told to drain the beans. Bean juice is bad. For reasons. Maybe poison?
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Feb 28, 2018 03:11
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Is that a beverage?
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Mar 4, 2018 04:43
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The meat looks fine to me. Those are some mournful bread rolls though.
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Mar 4, 2018 20:42
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Is that water or oil? Deep fried pizza sound marginally more plausible than boiled pizza.
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Mar 7, 2018 19:47
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Picnic Princess posted:Why even bother with lettuce. Just eat that poo poo like it's mashpotatos. Because it is "salad".
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Mar 12, 2018 05:22
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angerbeet posted:I think a lot of it (I also hate most raw tomato) is that hothouse tomatoes are basically semi-solid water with no flavour. I was pleasantly surprised when my local farmer's market had a tomato tasting booth and the heirloom varieties actually tasted pretty nice, not just like vaguely acidic goop. Yeah, growing your little pot of cherry tomatoes is a legit lifehack. When you eat a ripe cherry tomato right off the vine you're like "oh, I guess tomatoes really are a fruit". The best "fruit" tomatoes I've had are the yellow pear variety. They not acidic at all, but they don't contain lycopene.  Supermarket tomatoes are garbage. Wet cardboard garbage.
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Mar 14, 2018 00:24
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stereobreadsticks posted:To be fair there's a quarter of a hard boiled egg, half an avocado, and a slice of tomato there too. Still, welcome to the Andes I guess. You'll eat your potato and you'll like it. Oh wow, I didn't see the avocado. In blended with the lettuce to create the illusion of a huge lettuce leaf.
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Mar 14, 2018 03:09
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rndmnmbr posted:Grocery store tomatoes suck because they're refrigerated, which kills the gently caress out of their texture and favor. It also doesn't help that most people bring them home and stick them in the fridge. Once they warm up for a day or two sitting on your counter they'll get some flavor back and be less mealy, but they'll still never compare to an unfridged tomato. That is a big part of it, yeah. They also choose varieties based on looking attractive, and travelling and storing well. You can't sell fruit that will get bruised to poo poo just riding around in the box. Nobody buys tomatoes based on flavour, so it isn't an important factor. Usually the label doesn't even tell you what precise variety you're getting. Are those cherry tomatoes Tiny Tims or Sweet 100s? Nobody knows! e: there is some AFP with homegrown tomatoes though. Like catfacing. What is catfacing?   These tomatoes are not diseased per se, that's just a thing that can happen. The fruit themselves are still perfectly good to eat and yummy. Facebook Aunt has a new favorite as of 05:49 on Mar 14, 2018 |
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Mar 14, 2018 05:45
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bike tory posted:It always amazes me how fit and athletic a lot of competitive eaters are. Totally defies the stereotype KAHN: Guess you never heard of "belt of fat" theory. BILL: Belt of fat? KAHN: That's why fat guys can't keep up with us skinny Asians. Your stomachs are trapped in belt of fat. Got no room to stretch.
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Mar 14, 2018 05:47
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Iron Crowned posted:So how are normies supposed to go about getting a good tomato? Buy in season. You could also try the 'field tomatoes' rather than the perfect looking hothouse tomatoes. You still won't get tomatoes that were picked ripe that way though. Maybe a farmers market.  If you have a balcony or any outdoor access at all, or maybe even big windows and a crazy bright apartment, you can try growing Tumbler Tomatoes. Only cherry type tomatoes can be grown in hanging baskets though, and in the spring the garden centers will often sell appropriate varieties already planted in hanging pots. You just need a place to hang one. They don't need pruning or staking or anything, you hang them up and water them. Depending on climate you'll get a continuous supply of tiny tomatoes for a 2 or 3 months.
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Mar 14, 2018 17:59
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Helith posted:It's tough being a little-endian sometimes. Wait a minute, hold the phone, is that a deep fried pie? Other countries still get deep fried pies?!? This is a travesty.
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Mar 15, 2018 02:08
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bike tory posted:That's the only kind of "pie" I've ever seen at McDonalds Well, time for some AFP then. Around 1992 most McDonald's in the USA and Canada started baking them. They taste as sad as they look. Apple -- the all year round flavour.  Cherry  Flat on one side for baking. The crust is mushy and bland, not bubbly and crisp. Definitely not worth the calories. This guy tried to deep fry an already baked pie to recapture the magic: https://sweets.seriouseats.com/2012/04/so-you-miss-deep-fried-mcdonalds-apple-pies.html
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Mar 15, 2018 02:44
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bob dobbs is dead posted:You can eat about 5 to 10 mg of the poisonous bits with only some tingling Seems like something that would be in the Funny Forum Quotes thread labeled "guess the thread"
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Mar 19, 2018 04:37
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Tide pod sandwich?
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Mar 26, 2018 05:56
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skrapp mettle posted:How has this not been cross posted from PYF Funny pictures? I stole it from here to post in that thread since it was relevant. PYF is just a human centipede of content being passed from thread to thread.
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Mar 27, 2018 17:56
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von Braun posted:Just use dijon instead. Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?
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Mar 28, 2018 02:53
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Zanael posted:Somewhat related, can a Canadabro tell me what kind of cheese is usually used in poutine ? I don't know, but they are squeaky. The cheese curds make a squeaky noise rubbing against your teeth when you chew. So if you know of a squeaky white cheese curd, it's probably that one.
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Apr 3, 2018 21:14
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Samizdata posted:Okay, finally I have some content! This exists just to disappoint children (and manchildren) right? Imagine finding a box of these bad boys in the break room. You pick one up, feels a little dry and oddly heavy for a doughnut, but whatever. Bite into it and . . . bagel.
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Apr 7, 2018 12:19
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