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What if... there really were creatures on other planets? Just for fun, let's go on an imaginary safari to real places faithfully described, and see some creatures that never were. Titan On dim, cold Titan, Saturn's giant moon, stovebellies might live - perhaps by the icy shores of a ethane lake. To avoid freezing, they keep fires burning inside their bodies. How? Stovebellies eat ice, which forms much of Titan's surface. Their fuel is make of oxygen from the ice and methane from the dense atmosphere. By squirting flame like a rocket, they can make long leaps in Titan's low gravity. Amphibious fishimanders like to crawl out of the lake and cuddle by a handy stovebelly for warmth - until their host blasts off, sending its guests flying. Mars Whisper-thin winds hiss along a dry, dusty canyon. Deadly ultraviolet radiation pours from an unshielded Sun. Nighttime cold reaches -80 C. Perfect weather for a fellow like the Martian waterseeker. Its parasol tail can lift three meters in Mars' low gravity, shading it from ultraviolet sunburn. The long snout can probe for pockets of ice under dried up channels. And the giant ears, needed to hear well in the thin air, also serve as blankets: In Mars' frigid nights the waterseeker stays snug by clamping its ears tightly around its whole body. Europa Flat ice covers the second of Jupiter's four major satellites. Europa may be the smoothest globe in the Solar System. And here brinker-roos might frolic, on feet shaped like skates. They lead a carefree life, living on pure energy as they zoom across the endless frozen plains. Since there's no air to breathe and no food to eat, brinker-roos need no mouths or noses. Their green skins can carry out photosynthsis in sunlight, as plants do. And the coils on their backs pick up energy from Jupiter's strong magnetic field, which Europa must travel through as it orbits the giant planet. Pluto Electrical, crystal beings like these Plutonian zistles would find -250 C too hot for comfort. At night, when it's colder still and electricity flows perfectly, zistles feel best. Highly intelligent, they spend most of their time radioing great thoughts to each other. When zistles do get going, they can spring 20 meter high in Pluto's feeble gravity. Zistles think Pluto is the only planet with life - it's too hot everywhere else! Venus To survive Venus's heat - lead would melt here - you might need a body that feeds on rock and metal. This oucher-poucher snacks on a space probe from Earth. Venus's surface is so hot that oucher-puchers keep shifting from one foot to the other. They travel by inflating their pouchlike bodies and bouncing along the ground. Every time one lands, it utters its customary cry, which sounds remarkably like "ouch!" Jupiter From birth to death, any life in Jupiter's wild atmosphere would have to stay airborne - there's no place to stand. Hanging from their gasbags, floating jellyblimps would be easy prey for hungry swordtails. A swordtail uses Jupiter's strong gravity and its own pointed body to dive right through its victim. All creatures here must avoid winds blowing towards the freezing layers above or the scorching pressures below.
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# ¿ Aug 25, 2016 06:23 |
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# ¿ May 2, 2024 02:01 |
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Red Square Bear posted:Literally, what is this from? I think I remember it from a 3-2-1 Contact magazine or something like
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# ¿ Aug 25, 2016 07:01 |
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reminds me of a coloring book i had when i was a child. it had some cool and completely impractical/impossible concept planes in it. i can only find small pics of it tho. here they are.
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# ¿ Aug 30, 2016 05:15 |
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prefect posted:what kind of weirdo wants their toilet right next to a giant window? the 7th floor of the building I work in has a bathroom with a huge (frosted) window and it is definitely the best place to poop. so much natural light. also the bathroom has a foyer. it's spectacular.
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# ¿ Aug 31, 2016 02:44 |
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i'm going there tomorrow
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# ¿ Sep 2, 2016 03:46 |
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SmokaDustbowl posted:look at this slick mothafucka lmao is this a kids in the hall sketch or something
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# ¿ Sep 7, 2016 06:43 |
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Glorgnole posted:beep beep coming through i think this was the plot of that video game MDK???
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# ¿ Sep 7, 2016 06:44 |
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Sagebrush posted:I made my workbench/desk out of welded steel square tubing and a six-foot chunk of IKEA hardwood countertop that hardwood ikea countertop is fuckin great. I made two desks out of a piece of it.
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# ¿ Sep 8, 2016 22:35 |
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Fuzzy Mammal posted:too many fuckin americans itf. rip princess di i remember when this happened
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# ¿ Sep 8, 2016 22:48 |
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prefect posted:i was hanging out with a couple of out-of-state friends when princess di died. i said some rather impolite anti-monarchial things and without realizing it, really offended one of them. it really put a damper on my trip to visit them, and i have never stopped regretting it i was at my grandparent's place watching their dog and playing MYTH THE FALLEN LORDS on my grandpa's power mac, and they cut into the the tv show i had on in the background to report on it. SNL iirc, lol
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# ¿ Sep 8, 2016 22:54 |
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Sagebrush posted:hms visby? not tumblehome, doesn't count
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# ¿ Sep 10, 2016 05:08 |
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voicemail is way different. they always have that "push 1 to do whatever, push 2 to do a different thing" and you can screen calls based on caller id sure but you can't listen to the message as they're leaving it. these are all v. important things that are lost now.
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# ¿ Sep 10, 2016 23:27 |
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lol @ having a landline
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# ¿ Sep 10, 2016 23:46 |
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Chris Knight posted:have you see the raid: redemption, and the raid 2 also maybe john wick?
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# ¿ Sep 11, 2016 04:38 |
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lmao, these are so good
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# ¿ Sep 12, 2016 04:32 |
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Necc0 posted:i'm getting a decked out 15" macbook pro for my next job i got one of those for my current job. it's extremely good. i like the force-click trackpad a lot.
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# ¿ Sep 20, 2016 03:33 |
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Necc0 posted:i'm wondering not long, and extremely.
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# ¿ Sep 20, 2016 03:38 |
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Jonny 290 posted:It's too difficult to manage keys. We prefer our existing way. i love stories like this because i've got coworkers who are always all "well, that's <company we work for> for you!" as though doing things in a hosed up way is unique to this company, lol
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# ¿ Sep 20, 2016 03:40 |
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akadajet posted:all non-mac laptops are trash in terms of build quality and trackpad. you'll immediately hate using cheap plastic-y windows laptops. sometimes i have to use one of the dells that other people get and oh my god that rough plastic trackpad is just the WORST. and you can't even click it, you gotta use the dumb buttons.
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# ¿ Sep 20, 2016 03:42 |
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Robot Pride posted:another funny item was that our server rooms had dial combos on them to get in but you could just pull up the floor tile where the wiring runs and just slide in the 14" crawl space to go under the whole frame and pop into the room. those doors prob cost the gov like 30k$. vote trump to eliminate government waste
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# ¿ Sep 20, 2016 04:11 |
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eating pineapple?
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# ¿ Sep 23, 2016 01:10 |
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H.P. Hovercraft posted:what world do you live in that boston terriers don't exist https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oCceQNIoJQ
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# ¿ Sep 23, 2016 06:46 |
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our dog is good. except when she is not. here she is being good. good dog.
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# ¿ Sep 23, 2016 07:41 |
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Bill NYSE posted:Hell yeah salaryman work sucks. guitar wolf starred in a zombie movie called Wild Zero. it's worth checking out. the dvd has a drinking game built in. tho i see someone posted it already. v good. all killing alien zombies with the power of rock and roll
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# ¿ Oct 12, 2016 06:23 |
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Darkpenguin posted:this is not how a sprinkler works.
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# ¿ Oct 15, 2016 21:24 |
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1i-dnAH9Y4
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# ¿ Oct 15, 2016 21:29 |
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highway 55 runs over ft snelling state park, and it looks kind of cool imo. here's some pictures that i took.
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# ¿ Oct 19, 2016 01:12 |
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Just-In-Timeberlake posted:that is some bond villain poo poo right there looks like that one base in just cause 2
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# ¿ Nov 9, 2016 22:46 |
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Sniep posted:yeah it cheats so much yeah it's bullshit really google. REALLY also apparently no one knows wtf a bulldozer even IS
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# ¿ Nov 17, 2016 04:03 |
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Kenny Logins posted:usually the words "blimp" and "runner" don't come together too often in the same sentence but here we are that's not a blimp.
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# ¿ Nov 22, 2016 23:43 |
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Cat Face Joe posted:VERY fast dog running at incredible hihg speed same
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# ¿ Nov 29, 2016 23:34 |
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graph posted:actually it was snes dreamcast was good because you could emulate NES and SNES on it
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# ¿ Dec 2, 2016 20:09 |
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that yooper accent is how my wife's entire family sounds, except yours is at like 8 and theirs is turned up to probably 15
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# ¿ Dec 9, 2016 03:29 |
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anthonypants posted:i was in denver two weeks a few years back for work and here is what i learned about denver: wait so you can't build a snowman?? sad.
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# ¿ Dec 9, 2016 03:30 |
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echinopsis posted:who is it ok to hate? white american men
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# ¿ Dec 11, 2016 01:03 |
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SmokaDustbowl posted:I'm kinda sad zombies are so popular. I really like all the old zombie movies, it was great stuff to watch with your friends late at night. now everything is zombies and people are making real zombie guns and poo poo and it's just totally ruined for me yo i just want to say that zombie pub crawls are the dumbest thing on earth
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# ¿ Dec 11, 2016 01:04 |
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Sagebrush posted:why do you know a bunch of unabomber & school shooter quotes what, you don't?
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# ¿ Dec 11, 2016 01:19 |
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graph posted:we're going to post funny computer pictures now
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# ¿ Dec 16, 2016 07:06 |
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Stymie posted:wrongo stymie was right
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# ¿ Dec 17, 2016 02:47 |
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# ¿ May 2, 2024 02:01 |
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bump_fn posted:someone post the link to the thing that converts text to the cool monospace font i lost it tia I made this extremely bad monospace + zalgo text converter a few months ago. https://gist.github.com/anonymous/5ecf166057fb078784c19b11051ce626
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# ¿ Dec 19, 2016 05:26 |