Vladimir Poutine posted:

I remember being in the jungle in Nepal, where there's army guys with AK-47s everywhere to stop Chinese and Indian poachers. The army guys were saying that the reason Chinese people love rhino horn is because rhinos gently caress for like 3 hours

Tupperwarez posted:

And we're only half-joking when we say that. http://www.danwei.com/serial-killers-in-china/

Uncle Enzo posted:

Could learn a thing from their defeat at the hands of Syria, the oldest city on earth seems pretty widely accepted to be Damascus or Aleppo. Habitation reaching back to roughly 9000 BC

That's a glorious 12 11,000 years of history

edit for math

The Great Autismo! posted:

the most China thing imaginable

JaucheCharly posted:

Gotta run a Voight-Kampf test.

"Taiwan NUMBER 1"

Blistex posted:

They are good to keep people close to you from getting their spit in your mouth when they don't bother to cover up when coughing or sneezing

Blistex posted:

I'm saying it's good to keep strange people's spit from getting in your mouth in China. If you have a conversation with someone on the bus, especially during winter, you are asking for some random Chinese passenger to (without warning) projectile sneeze/cough right in your face and possibly your open mouh. Next time you see someone in China sneeze in a crowded environment, I can pretty much guarantee that you have only 2 options.

1. They without warning sneeze straight ahead into the face of whoever they are talking to.
2. They turn their head 90 degrees to the side and sneeze directly in the face of someone standing next to them.

Sheep-Goats posted:

Thai TV has these constant cartoon sound effects behind their dramas. Like the fat guy looks around the corner and BOIOIOING spring sound then the girl he's looking at notices him looking and PEEP POO PEEP POO cuckoo clock noise on cut to his fat startled face.

Blistex posted:

Almost every facet of USMC lore/culture started as a lie, and that is their single most important tradition. They are almost approaching Kim Il Sung/Mao levels of bullshit propaganda.

Jose posted:

mao has probably done more damage to the planet/humanity than any single person ever

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

Haier posted:

I eat Jew/jelly/wood ear mushrooms every day. Today I bought 150gms of the stuff and threw it in a soup. I decided to see if there was any nutritional info on it online, since it seems pretty useless and only adds a flavorless crunch to the meal. I try to count my macros and micros while living here so I don't leave China as a seven-headed string bean with anemia and jello muscles. Anyway:


Oh, cool. Thanks for the tips, Google Hong Kong. I hope I don't over-dose on lung moisture, because that would be pretty bad!

OWLS! posted:

http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2017/01/14/world/asia/ap-as-china-trump.html

lol.

Bum the Sad posted:

Well actually they got hosed to death a bit by the muslims.

BONGHITZ posted:

I (31m) met my wife (27f) of two years at the of 2014 and we were married by August of 2015. She's Chinese and I'm Chinese American and we met while she was working here. Both she and I have terminal graduate degrees.

So her personality is very northern Chinese - very aggressive and not to mention she grew up in the political class so she has this exaggerated sense of entitlement. Myself, I'm also from a well to do family.
So last November we've finally decided to visit her family in China - with my express objective to tell them that we are going to get married (she hasn't told them out of embarrassment we got married in 2015). Her parents generally love me and my dad has met her while on business trip to Beijing.

So midway through this trip her grandmother gets ill and is put into coma. She's dying. So of course, I decide to leave for home first and let her abandon her tickets in order for her to care for her dying grandmother.

Of course coming home, I need to start my doctorate program with the expectation that my wife will have an idea of when she will come home here. I did all the moving, setup of furniture, and nice apartment hunting to support our family.

Because she is manipulative, I always try to get a verbal agreement so I have a better understanding and forecast of the future. So I told her, just be with your family until the crisis is over because her family is mine but be understanding that you cannot be gone for such an outrageous amount of time because we are a married couple with our life ahead of us.

However, midway through this month she said she would come home after Spring Festival- the Chinese New Years. I would think she would mean it's eminent she's coming home finally - but in reality it meant nothing because still has bought not tickets and would not commit to me on a date.

We talk everyday of course, but she has decided the the topic is taboo. She has stated to me that pressing her isn't helping the situation but I have told her it is my obligation to know these things because of our marriage.

TLDR: Wife went back to China, has a manipulative personality of an entitled princess, she has made no commitment towards coming home in the short term. I'm allowing her time to be with her family, but what about me?

Two months now of waiting and her message ranges from "I don't know when I am coming back. " to "If you keep pressuring me I'm staying here forever. Go look for a divorce lawyer." I don't even want to press it anymore - it's making anxious.

Help me.
Edit: We live in San Diego.

big time bisexual posted:

whoops

Chinese hospital infects five with HIV by reusing equipment

WarpedNaba posted:

Did she end up needing a blood transfusion before she took the ultimate Plunge?

angel opportunity posted:

My in-laws are staying with us, so gear up for a China story.

My wife and I decided to make steak and mashed potatoes for them, so my wife went to Sam's Club to buy top round steak. While she was there, I was at my laptop working at Panera Bread. I had an Earl Grey tea with two bags in it--you do NOT have to pay extra to take more bags. Anyway, it was raining outside. It had been raining basically all morning, so I was pretty surprised that it was still raining late into the afternoon. Definitely not typical for Florida. I call my wife just as she's leaving Sam's Club, and I asked her to pick me up because I didn't want to walk home in the rain. I usually walk to and from Panera to work so I can get some exercise and outside time in. I don't like walking in the rain if I can avoid it though.

My wife said she'd pick me up, but my laptop had just died, so I took my phone out and tweeted some while I waited for her to pick me up. She arrived and I got in the car with her and we drove home. Well, actually, she drove. When we got home, I helped carry in most of the groceries. As I entered the apartment, my in-laws said "You are back," to which I responded, "I am back" (this part was happening in Chinese.) My father-in-law was wearing silk, gold-colored pajamas, and my mother-in-law was wearing silk pink-colored pajamas.

My dog, Niuniu, came downstairs to greet me, and I gave him a classic "Corgi hug," which is when I reach down and he does a little hug at me and I say "Who's a good boy? Ohhh, that's such a big corgi hug, so impressive." After he was done hugging me, my wife was a little bit disappointed that Niuniu didn't want to give her a corgi hug.

I asked my in-laws if they ate already, and they said they'd eaten some mantou, but were saving room because they knew my wife and I were going to cook. I petted Niuniu a few more times until he got bored and laid down.

Once the groceries were unloaded: Top round steaks, some mayo, and spinach; I took the steaks out of the packaging and seasoned them with some Himalayan sea salt and some freshly ground black peppercorn. I told my father in law the salt was from "China's Tibet," which he quite enjoyed. It's probably from somewhere else along the Himalayas.

After I got the steak seasoned, I set the oven to 450 degrees Fahrenheit, and I filled a big pot with water. I set the burner to 7 or 8 and got the water boiling. While the water was boiling, I got out the potatoes. They were growing roots a bit, but I just washed and peeled them anyway. What the heck, right?

I peeled six or so potatoes, and by the time I was done, the water was boiling, so I put those suckers into the pot.

My wife couldn't find the pine nuts she wanted for the spinach dish, and she was rooting through the fridge, and then the pantry. I told her they were in the fridge, and she said they weren't. I went into the fridge and they were right frickin' there where I knew they were going to be! She wouldn't admit that she was wrong or that I was right, but that's marriage.

I set a timer for 30 minutes, because potatoes take forever to boil. Since my laptop had run out of power at Panera, I decided to go plug it in upstairs and hook it up to my 24" monitor via an HDMI cable. I also attached my USB hub so I could enjoy my mechanical keyboard and high-DPI but not tackily-colored gaming mouse. I browsed the internet for a while and did a bit more work, and I went down to fork the potatoes after twenty minutes or so. Nope, still not done.

I went back upstairs and chatted with my brother for a while on Slack, and then I went down again when I heard the timer go off.

The potatoes were just about done by now, but I suddenly had an urge for Chimichuri sauce, so I asked my wife if she could make some. She got working on that while I got the potatoes out of the pot and into a big bowl to mash them. I used a too-small spoon, and one of the potatoes fell and broke on the floor. I got pretty mad, because it's such a waste of a potato, but Niuniu wasn't mad, he was right on that potato licking it up even though it was too hot for him. I told him if he ate the hot potato he'd be speaking Danish, lol (that joke is for any Swedes or Norwegians reading this China story).

I mashed up the potatoes and put some diced garlic in. I forgot to mention earlier that I crushed and finely diced some garlic while the potatoes were boiling. I put the mayo and some milk into the bowl, and I mashed the potatoes up with the potato masher until they were good and mashed. I then put in a generous portion of butter to make them nice and rich.

With the potatoes done, it was steak time. I got the cast-iron skillet good and hot, then I put a bit of vegetable oil on. Right when it started to smoke, I asked my wife to open the windows, cause this cooking method always fills the place with smoke. She did it for me, and I threw the steaks onto the skillet. I set a 2-minute timer while the steaks seared at high heat. My father-in-law came over to have a look, then went back to watch TV.

After two minutes, I put the whole skillet straight into the oven, and I reduced the heat to 425 Fahrenheit. I set another timer for five minutes. I wanted mine to be rare, but my wife and her parents wanted medium...at least. After five minutes, the timer beeped, and I took the skillet out and wrapped my steak in foil, then I put the others back in for another two minutes. When all of them were done, I put mine back into the skillet, and I put some garlic and butter in there. I let it all mix together, the garlic, butter, and steak fat flavor.

Then I took the steaks out and wrapped them so they could rest for a while. While they rested, I took the mashed potatoes and put them into the skillet to absorb that heavenly mixture of flavors.

While I was doing all this, my wife had gotten started on the spinach dish. She thought she toasted the pine nuts too long, and she told me she burned them. I insisted they were NOT burned, and I even ate one and told her how good it tasted. This reassured her a bit, so she continued blanching the spinach. She drained some of the excess water off into the sink, but it was a little precarious because I knew I had a cutting board I needed to clean, so I had to wait. I decided to put the board down and help her drain the water. It went a lot faster working together.

Once the spinach was drained and got cooking, I started to plate the food. I cut my steak up all ahead of time, put it onto the mashed potatoes like a bed, and drizzled it in Chimichuri sauce. I was looking forward to showing my in-laws this cool presentation (Top Chef style), but my wife said "Food is ready" (in Chinese) and they were on the plates like the Japanese on Nanjing in the Kang Ri film they had been watching. They ended up trying to emulate my plating style, which was kind of funny, but it wasn't as good as mine of course. This upset me for some reason, because I am an rear end in a top hat and a lovely GBS poster who wants other lovely GBS posters to like me. And despite how many words I vomit out, no one is liking me.

We sat down to eat once we plated the spinach dish onto our plates. I opened a bottle of cream soda and poured my wife and me a glass. Hot water for the in-laws, of course! My in-laws love mashed potatoes, but they have trouble eating a lot of steak. Mashed potatoes is one of the few western dishes I've really been able to cook for them and get them really into. Let's just hope they never find out just how much butter I put into those mashed potatoes!

I finished eating first, so I cleaned my plate and then cleaned up everything else from the cooking that still needed to be cleaned. I overheard my wife talking to my in-laws (in Chinese) explaining to them how to make mashed potatoes. I like to imagine my in-laws will go back to their small town in Shandong, and they will make my mashed potato recipe for all of their friends and relatives, and I like to imagine--wait--I'm falling into the trap of giving this story an actual ending. I shouldn't end this with like, a concise thought or actual idea that I express that will wrap the whole story up for you and end it in a way that leaves you feeling satisfied--or feeling like you didn't just waste a shitload of time reading this--so let's just say...

Stay tuned next time. Same corgi time, same corgi channel

BONGHITZ posted:

Her family is very traditional chinese and she told me that her family will want me to pay a bride price before the wedding (we are engaged). She said it will probably be around $35,000-$40,000. I refused. For me it is not about the money, but about the principle behind it. I don't appreciate the idea that I have to buy her from her family like some sort of object. This is what I told her, but unfortunately I think she took it in a different way. I say money is not the issue, and it is not for me. But I think that she thinks it is, despite my assurances that it is not. I make about $200K per year, while she makes about $45k. I think she thinks I am being stingy by refusing to pay for it. How do I approach this? She's out of town for work, but comes back on Friday.

WarpedNaba posted:

Yeah, broccoli and other leafy greens are p good, if just for the antioxidant value alone.

And if you don't like broccoli, you can try covering it in cheese sauce or sauteing it in soy sauce.

Jimmy Little Balls posted:

The old Korean lady in my class has a ziplock bag of stale cornflakes and is giving them out one at a time to people who are too awkward to say no thanks.

Barudak posted:

sef efreka

caberham posted:

We don't know. There might be some arm of the government that believes in long term development but no one has heard of it.

It's actually quite opaque and every 5 years there's a giant plan or some initiative and which everyone is supposed to follow. Ages ago, it used to be CARS FOR ALL, now it's GREEN ENERGY! There are all these different government departments and largess going so no one really has a clue what the gently caress is going on. The current leadership consolidating power and removing and creating new posts is muddying the picture as well.

I guess for actual long term goals it's ONE BELT ONE ROAD? XIJINPING THOUGHT?

Fojar38 posted:

Have you considered homosexuality?

Glenn Quebec posted:

Just a little schadenfreude and sadism. Cool your jets, I guess anecdotes of someone mildly hurting themselves is the line? *watches gif of a street light crushing a Chinese person. After a Rube Goldberg like series of accidents cause it occur *