Taiwan Number 1

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Taiwan Number 1

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ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

Have some .jpg from Pinghu.

# ¿ Sep 16, 2016 23:22

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 08:47

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

I have figured out why China insists on 5000 years of history. It's all because of the preachers who came to China and insisted the world was created 5000 years ago. Chinese can't lose face so.... 5000 YEARS CULTURE

# ¿ Oct 2, 2016 18:29

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

Grand Fromage posted:

I really think the "omg kids are all in their phones" thing is wildly overblown but man in China and Korea sometimes it seems so true. My students care vastly more about having their phone taken away for a day than literally not being able to go to college.

The Chinese student who lives with us will only get up on time in the morning if he knows there is a threat to lose his phone for the day if he does not.

# ¿ Oct 5, 2016 16:57

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

I can't wait for civ6 to come out so I can put China in every game I play of it and crush them into dust before 2000 BC.

# ¿ Oct 7, 2016 23:47

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

Blistex posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c--fP017Xoc

Depending on the range, you might have 10 minutes warning or as little as 20 seconds time before the torpedo hits (depending on the Sub's position). Modern torpedoes are really fast (in The Hunt for Red October the torpedoes were travelling at WWII speeds) and the current US MK-48 is estimated to be nearly 70mph. The Russians have a supercavitating torpedo that is supposed to be able to reach 230mph, but is limited to a 15km range as opposed to the MK-48's 38 km range.

The rocket torpedo the Russians have has a rather special warhead that would be a much larger boom.

# ¿ Oct 10, 2016 19:10

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

hemophilia posted:

Isn't the phillipines kind of a big deal strategically for the US? I give the Chinese stooge a few hoyrs after clinton is sworn in that a kill or coup order is given. Like lol if the Philippines thinks it has the ability to realign itself internationally

PI has been a protectorate in one form or another of the US for a very long time.

# ¿ Oct 20, 2016 19:35

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

Haier posted:

Me: "What are your hobbies?"
Chinese girl: "TENNIS AND SWIMMING."
ME: (Realize I've heard this pair of hobbies way too many times, like it's one of the canned responses people use here when they don't know what to say) "Oh"
Chinese girl: "What's wrong?"
Me: "Nothing. Many Chinese people tell me they like these two sports."
Chinese girl: "That's discrimination. Chinese people aren't all exactly the same. Everyone can do what they want. These activities are enjoyed by all."
Me: "Yes, I agree. I didn't mean that."
Chinese girl: "You foreigners are always like this"

Look! Swimming fun! All enjoy! You enjoy too if you not dumb laowai!

# ¿ Oct 20, 2016 19:38

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

Page 77 was better. Page 777 will be best.

There is a taxi service in my area and the number for it is 777-7777.

I wonder if any Chinese ever call them.

# ¿ Nov 1, 2016 07:16

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

LentThem posted:

That's what makes this video so good (mobile url warning): http://m.miaopai.com/show/channel/GCMydrkGo1xZD~9tSO5n~w__?from=singlemessage&isappinstalled=0

If I ever drove in china I would have to have a total beater car because god drat I would bumper car the gently caress out of idiots like that.

# ¿ Nov 4, 2016 01:00

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

Pirate Radar posted:

So how much do the little surgical masks really do for pollution? I assume "not a lot" but I see lots of people wearing them while biking or riding scooters here (not China) and fewer-but-still-some people wearing them on scooters in Bangkok (maybe China someday later)

They do nothing. Also the air in the buildings isn't much different from the air outside. It's not like magic and the air is suddenly clean inside.

# ¿ Nov 15, 2016 19:41

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

Had the perfect ad for last page. Thanks Haier.

# ¿ Nov 28, 2016 06:30

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

Xelkelvos posted:

The graph shows a huge spike, but in real percentage terms, it's about an 8% change. Idk much about finance or international exchange, so I dunnno if that's a significant percent change.

It's a huge instant jump. That is SKY IS FALLING kind of huge.

# ¿ Dec 5, 2016 22:51

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

Either they are very very mad about Trump or they are trying to fix the monumental fuckup of their stock market via huge inflation.

# ¿ Dec 5, 2016 23:04

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

It's a good idea to trust a Chinese program with a built in government backdoor on your computer.

# ¿ Dec 8, 2016 16:57

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

Unless the building you are in has some kind of airlock and is sealed like a motherfucker the air inside isn't going to be much different from outside when poo poo is that bad.

# ¿ Dec 11, 2016 09:45

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

Construction everywhere, loads of coal power plants, dirty as gently caress industrial plants = that

edit : also i wonder if they have any emission standards for cars? :lol:

# ¿ Dec 19, 2016 19:28

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

Dicky mouse posted:

I really feel sorry for this lady.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WMebV5qt3s

Maybe she shouldn't have had plastic surgery. :haw:

# ¿ Dec 21, 2016 04:23

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

Haier posted:

Last night I heard a good one while snacking with a girl:
"We Chinese have a tradition to drink beer and eat salty and spicy foods."

5000 years drinking and salty spicy food culture please respect

# ¿ Dec 24, 2016 07:29

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

Blistex posted:

<Gets on a stool and climbs onto window ledge, crawls forwards 6' to open window>

as if the windows would not be permanently open for healthy

# ¿ Dec 28, 2016 00:26

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

Grand Fromage posted:

Korean War vets are the best. My first week in Korea I was just wandering my neighborhood and a bunch of guys in their Korean War vet hats basically abducted me and forced me into a little makgeolli bar with them when I said I was American. It was a ton of fun, they refused to let me pay and whipped out their barely remembered English from the 50s. Apparently I personally killed Kim Il-sung so they wanted to say thanks.

The vets remember just how drat close they came to being taken over. Like holy crap MacArthur really hosed up bad.

# ¿ Jan 5, 2017 08:50

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

how much do the belts cost is the real question

# ¿ Jan 7, 2017 01:13

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

Blistex posted:

Sounds like they were eating Chinese food.

western man cannot digest chinese food properly as they are different

# ¿ Jan 11, 2017 01:33

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-china-38646614

Not even salt or soy sauce is safe in China.

quote:

Chinese authorities are investigating nearly 50 factories allegedly manufacturing fake versions of widely used food seasonings and sauces.

It comes after Beijing News reportedly uncovered the elaborate operation near the city of Tianjin.

The factories were using unapproved ingredients like industrial salt in seasonings including soy sauce and vinegar, the paper said.

The products were labelled with brands including Maggi, Knorr, and Nestle.

The seasonings, which include spices and chicken stock, are commonly used in Chinese cooking and can be widely found across Asia.

Totole added that it had known about the factories since 2007, and its anti-counterfeit team had conducted numerous crackdowns in Duliu, but had been unable to completely stamp them out.

I wonder if Marco Pierre White has used any of the fake Knorr crap.

# ¿ Jan 17, 2017 08:01

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

hakimashou posted:

I dunno if it was just in places with hardly and gwei los, but do chinese kids still do drive-by "HELLLLLO!" to you, like at the exact moment they walk past you, so its impossible to make eye contact?

You could always whisper MAYOOOOOOOOOOOO

# ¿ Jan 24, 2017 06:16

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

The Great Autismo! posted:

you can say

丢脸了－ you embarrass yourself/you lose face
没有脸－ you have no dignity/you have no face
素质差－ so uneducated/
不要脸－ you do not want dignity/you don't even want face
叫你生孩子没屁股眼－ i hope your kid is born without an rear end in a top hat
草泥马 / 肏你妈－ gently caress your mother

How about 'Trump will defeat Chinese imperialism'

# ¿ Jan 24, 2017 21:16

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

China.jpg actual picture not in china

Dumpling production line for CNY currently in my kitchen.

# ¿ Jan 29, 2017 03:29

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

Haier posted:

White qipao girl on the left has nice hands. Gimme her Weixin, bro.

She has 3 kids and is married. Also she is pretty hot.

# ¿ Jan 29, 2017 07:36

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

lol she's 28

so shes already a leftover and she wants 50k? lmbo

# ¿ Feb 28, 2017 23:53

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

KillingPablo posted:

Today I made the mistake of trying to engage in a serious discussion of the THAAD issue with one of my colleagues. To be honest I'm not super well educated on the subject, but I looked into it a few days ago since everyone has been talking about it recently. Anyways, my colleague asked my opinion on it, and I said it was honestly a little silly that China was making such a big deal over the issue when all it served to do was make them look like a bully. Among the things my colleague said were:

- "America is putting China under siege."
- "China is peaceful and would never go to war, so this is probably the US taking steps to attack China."
- "If China's neighbors start shooting missiles, China won't be able to defend itself."
- "North Korea is a peaceful country, and is only defending itself from the Americans and Japanese."

Ultimately I excused myself to do some work since it was abundantly clear my coworker has bought into the "evil empire" narrative. Pointing out her hypocrisy and errors in logic was pointless, since all she wanted to hear me say that the US is trying to beat down China. It was a little eye-opening to see how big of a persecution-complex some people have here.

Ask her what she thinks about all the patriot missile defense batteries already in South Korea.

# ¿ Mar 15, 2017 15:56

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

Guys it was really Maos wife who was the bad one. Just ask anyone in China.

# ¿ Mar 21, 2017 21:49

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

They will wonder why you are not slaughtering the animals to eat them. When you tell them you are 'rescuing' the animals they will think you are just going to sell them later for some one to eat.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2017 02:23

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

Taiwan #1

quote:

Taiwan has outlawed the consumption of dog and cat meat, as the island's legislature on Tuesday passed a landmark amendment to its animal protection laws, according to island's official Central News Agency (CNA).
"Taiwan's progressive ban is part of a growing trend across Asia to end the brutal dog meat trade," said Wendy Higgins with Humane Society International.

http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/12/asia/taiwan-bans-eating-dog-and-cat-meat/index.html

# ¿ Apr 12, 2017 16:01

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

Just call Taiwan Formosa and gently caress with everyones head.

# ¿ Apr 27, 2017 09:04

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

Haier I found you a new job! But you have to move to best china to do it.

http://www.bbc.com/news/av/magazine-39724523/the-hand-angels-helping-disabled-people-with-sex

# ¿ Apr 28, 2017 21:57

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

Glenn Quebec posted:

Haier where do you find these abject dumbass women?

His phone. Duh!

# ¿ May 1, 2017 23:47

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

The Great Autismo! posted:

shabu shabu is a style of hot pot

but shabu shabu is actually good

# ¿ May 7, 2017 04:09

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

Outrail posted:

Is poo poo wine a prison thing? It sounds like it'd be a prison thing.

The first rule of toilet wine is you do not ask the origins of toilet wine.

# ¿ Jun 2, 2017 06:40

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

Why are they so obsessed with eating eggs = super awesome 888888 good!

# ¿ Jun 14, 2017 18:34

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

Holy poo poo. I think I know who Haiers dad is.

http://i.imgur.com/UAZBMVh.jpg

# ¿ Jun 15, 2017 02:40

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 08:47

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

nickmeister posted:

How are the white people "foreign guests" if the Chinese are visiting the foreigners' countries?

Anyone who is not Chinese is a foreigner. It does not matter if it's Chinese in another country, the people who live there are foreigners. When you call them on that bullshit 'laowai!!!' they will look confused then act embarrassed (maybe) then go right back to using the word.

# ¿ Jul 11, 2017 16:13

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Taiwan Number 1

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