Christianity Thread II: Y'all need Jesus

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Christianity Thread II: Y'all need Jesus

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Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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Many years!

# ¿ Sep 20, 2016 16:04

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 05:38

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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Cythereal posted:

Whatever gets butts in pews for your local church. Shop around.

Tear out the pews.

# ¿ Sep 20, 2016 16:36

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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my dad posted:

The list of things Facebook thinks I am, judging by the stuff it regularly suggests to me: gay republican pro-putin atheist mra neo-nazi who wants to kill all muslims

Pellisworth posted:

so... Milo Yiannopoulos?

All of a sudden I'm wondering what would happen if Milo met 02varvara.

# ¿ Sep 21, 2016 01:56

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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I still like Godwinopoulos's Law, from r/OrthodoxChristianity:

quote:

Defintion: During an internet Orthodox argument, the first person to suggest that another go to confession automatically loses. It will also get your comment removed.

# ¿ Sep 22, 2016 17:12

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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zonohedron posted:

The Eastern Orthodox in general are much less, uh, particular about rules, so I can't imagine it's any different for any of their, uh... subgroups. (Is "particular church" an Orthodox term too?)

Less particular about rules, but my priest and bishop are very particular about paperwork.

Smoking Crow posted:

Some women cover their heads in orthodox services, but others don't

It's mostly the Russians who cover their heads in my experience

Yeah, I go to a Greek church, and most of the women there keep their heads uncovered, except for a few convert families.

When I first started going, someone told me it had to do with when the Greeks were under the Ottomans.

Keromaru5 fucked around with this message at 19:17 on Sep 22, 2016

# ¿ Sep 22, 2016 19:15

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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I don't know that it's possible to have a church too small for a potluck. The storefront OCA church I went to this last Sunday had one for its churchwarming, complete with a Byzantine church cake.

# ¿ Sep 23, 2016 18:54

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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Now that I think about it, I think every church I've ever been to has had a kitchen.

Of course, a number of those were Catholic churches that also had Catholic schools attached.

# ¿ Sep 23, 2016 19:53

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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# ¿ Sep 28, 2016 19:51

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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Huh, so a Catholic church in my town is trying to start the canonization process for a local priest who died in a Yellow Fever epidemic in the 1800's.

# ¿ Sep 29, 2016 14:49

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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And co-producing My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

Also, something I thought the thread would like:
https://twitter.com/CarolineWazer/status/783346974217084929

# ¿ Oct 5, 2016 15:25

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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SirPhoebos posted:

Wait back up: I know that the New Testament claimed that Jesus was ~~Isildur's~~ David's Heir, but are you saying that the Book of Mathew traces the lineage through Joseph of Aramathiah (sorry for spelling)?

Because...how does that work alongside Immaculate Conception and Virgin Birth? Or is this a case of "It's God, I don't have to explain poo poo"

No, he means Joseph, Jesus' stepfather. Joseph of Arimathea doesn't come into the narrative until the crucifixion -- he donates the tomb for Jesus' burial.

The very first chapter of Matthew is a patrilineal genealogy from Abraham to Jesus, through Joseph. Mary is generally assumed to have Davidic ancestry as well, so the fact that Joseph was only Jesus' father by adoption doesn't affect His status as Son of David.

# ¿ Oct 7, 2016 17:54

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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Here's what St. Athanasius has to say about the necessity of the crucifixion. Most of it is about why Christ chose public crucifixion in particular rather than some other means of death. He does, however, say that Christ "did not arrange the manner of his own death lest He should seem to be afraid of some other kind. No. He accepted and bore upon the cross a death inflicted by others, and those others His special enemies, a death which to them was supremely terrible and by no means to be faced; and He did this in order that, by destroying even this death, He might Himself be believed to be the Life, and the power of death be recognized as finally annulled."

# ¿ Oct 19, 2016 22:02

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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In less Lutheran news, the Ecumenical Patriarch put out this letter commemorating his 25th anniversary, which my priest (and I suppose any priest under the EP) read in full during the Liturgy today. Which meant I got to hear my parish priest utter the phrase "space debris."

# ¿ Oct 31, 2016 04:30

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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Mr Enderby, I know how you feel. I have a former friend who joined ISIS.

I suppose a big difference is that in her case, I actually do feel incredible pity for her. The article goes into great detail about her struggles in life and her desperate search for meaning and identity. But even beyond that, I always think back to the friend I remember, the cheerful and passionate activist who was in my writing group. I also remember one of our last conversations--mostly that it was, ironically, a positive and illuminating chat about religion, after her conversion to Islam. All I can really do is pray for her, in the hope that God can lead her to some kind of repentance, or bring some good out of her evil.

# ¿ Nov 1, 2016 02:05

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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Theotokorb

# ¿ Nov 12, 2016 19:42

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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Merry Christmas, everybody! I cut down on Internet use and held back on posting during the Nativity Fast, but now I'm back.

# ¿ Dec 25, 2016 19:28

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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HEY GAL posted:

what a beautiful thing to say. happy new year all, and happy Feast of the Circumcision to my catholic bros!

Hey, don't forget us New Calendarist Greek-style types.

Anyway, since this is the thing we're doing today...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hH_3Q87Z40

# ¿ Jan 1, 2017 20:43

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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For some reason, I feel I should notify everyone that Holy Resurrection Orthodox Cathedral in Tokyo is just a short walk away from Akihabara, where basically everything is anime.

# ¿ Jan 5, 2017 00:05

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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Mr Enderby posted:

While we're all arguing, can we settle the filioque issue? Also is the Immaculate Conception real, and are good works are necessary for salvation? I reckon Jesus had two natures, but both of them were an indistinguishable mixture of divine and human.

All I wanna know is, are we celebrating Christmas tomorrow or not?

# ¿ Jan 7, 2017 02:55

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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The Phlegmatist posted:

The most-used translation of the Bible into Chinese translates logos into dao which has caused some interesting heresies among westerners who think they've suddenly found the hidden knowledge of Laozi. It's...actually kinda close though.

I wonder if this is related to that book I found in Japan that said "The Bible Was Written by Chinese."

Mr Enderby posted:

From the very little I know of it, isn't that what Khabbalah is about? The idea that the text of the Torah contains God?

My understanding is that the Torah is God's blueprint for creating the universe, with the Hebrew letters being the building blocks. So it would be more that the the Torah reveals the mind of God.

Though I have often wondered before if this is partly what John's getting at, that Jesus is the incarnate Torah.

# ¿ Jan 13, 2017 00:03

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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The Phlegmatist posted:

Maybe. I'm familiar with creationists trying to prove Genesis was literally true by squinting really hard at the Chinese characters for boat (eight mouths! how many people were on the ark!) and devil (it looks like the character for tempter!) I don't know what kind of crazy theories the Japanese would come up with though, but they're good at that thing. After all, Jesus died in Shingo and it really was His younger brother Isukiri who died on the cross. Atonement theories what's that no Jesus lived a peaceful life as a rice farmer c'mon now westerners.

There's also some guy who thinks the entire Pentateuch was composed in Alexandria in 273 BC based on Plato's Laws and I need to get around to ordering that book and reading it, because that's pants-on-head crazy.

After work I'll see if I can post the photo I took of the cover. My pitiful translation effort suggests it's related to the Tao te Ching, but hopefully someone with a better grasp of Japanese can clarify things.

Maybe I should have bought it when I had the chance.

# ¿ Jan 13, 2017 18:01

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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As promised.

# ¿ Jan 14, 2017 02:11

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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Annual Prophet posted:

there's a cd thread for this, but I wanted to mention that scorsese 's new film silence is well worth seeing. im tempted to say this is especially true for those from a liturgical tradition, or who have a contemplative perspective, or who've had a long experience of spiritual seeking / trial, but in retrospect i think the appeal is broader than that. beautifully composed, shot and acted, in addition to being a compelling meditation on faith and religion.

I haven't seen it, but I've been keeping an eye out for the book, and Elizabeth Bruenig wrote an interesting review that, for bonus goonery, involves the Donatist controversy.

# ¿ Jan 16, 2017 03:26

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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With that first church, I half expect Morgan Freeman to step out and chat with Neo while getting ready to judge the Always Sunny gang.

# ¿ Jan 16, 2017 17:37

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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I still don't know what a Protopresbyter is.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2017 23:03

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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The Phlegmatist posted:

And then there was that time they were building a (Russian? Pretty sure it was Russian) Orthodox church somewhat near Ground Zero in NYC and people FLIPPED out because they thought it was a mosque.

I thought the issue was that an Islamic Center was being built a few blocks away from Ground Zero, and it included a mosque, which led to the public freakout. Meanwhile there's a Greek Orthodox Church that was destroyed on 9/11, which was still struggling to rebuild. It's actually still being rebuilt, and is supposed to open this next winter as St. Nicholas National Shrine. I remember the line on the Right being "There's going to be a mosque at Ground Zero, but this church can't get back up off the ground?"

# ¿ Jan 29, 2017 19:45

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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The idea of women gaining independence through celibacy and virginity by Mary's example even comes up in The Life of the Virgin, attributed to St. Maximus the Confessor. This is the same book that says Mary was a primary source for the Gospels, was a constant companion and contributor to her Son's ministry, and had a leadership role in the early Church.

# ¿ Feb 3, 2017 20:43

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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HEY GAIL posted:

edit: i think it was keromaru5 who mentioned that priests' kids sometimes end up resenting their parents

I'm not sure I'd say resenting--I only have the one story to go on. When a lady at my church lost her father, who was a priest, a few years ago, she talked about how his ministry conflicted with his duties as a father, while so many people were showing their love and appreciation for him as a priest. It was a lot like my mom's feelings when my grandfather died. He was a doctor, and of course she loved him, but on one hand, she remembered him being distant and busy through her childhood, and on the other, we had basically a whole county whose diseases he'd treated and whose babies he'd delivered coming out to thank him.

In both cases, it's as if, for better or worse, your dad isn't just your dad, he's the entire community's dad.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2017 02:01

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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I suppose "sectsplaining" wouldn't work, not if you pronounced it out loud.

I tend to be pretty attached to the image of the Church as a spiritual hospital, and Christ as the Great Physician. So really, it's less "extreme vetting" and more "extreme urgent medical attention."

# ¿ Feb 23, 2017 20:00

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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Well, you gotta admit, an ant with a sting like a gunshot is one of God's more marvelous creations.

# ¿ Mar 13, 2017 01:52

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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HEY GAIL posted:

i like catholic shade, i am not sure if the orthodox have an equivalent

I would think it involves some variation of "the pan-heresy of ecumenism."

# ¿ Mar 14, 2017 22:55

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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I pretty much bombed that quiz. I'm sorry, thread, I've failed you. :dawkins101:

# ¿ Mar 15, 2017 17:36

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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What I want to know is what happens when a robot decides to join a monastery.

# ¿ Mar 31, 2017 03:42

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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Thirteen Orphans posted:

Can any of the erudite and/or Eastern Christians recommend me a good source for identifying and dealing with passions?

If you want to go back to the roots, you can check out Evagrius of Ponticus and St. John Cassian. However, you'll probably want a more modern translation of Cassian, because the public domain version of the Institutes and Conferences you can find online left the parts about lust untranslated. Because I guess they might inspire lust? I dunno.

HEY GAIL posted:

also, Unseen Warfare, Greater Jihad, and Death To The World are all good band names

Fitting, then, that the last one became a punk zine.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2017 14:33

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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I don't think I've ever seen anyone breast feed during a service--or at least if I have, I don't remember it--but the last time I went to the OCA church in the next county, one mom did while chatting with the priest at coffee hour.

So I might be visiting family in Anchorage this July, and I'm already looking up Orthodox churches there, trying to decide which one to visit while I'm there. There's an OCA cathedral, but there's also a Greek church that looks gorgeous from the pictures I've seen.

# ¿ Apr 25, 2017 22:35

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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St. Paisios the Athonite, via John Sanidopoulos posted:

Monks do not only pray for the living and the dead but even for the most miserable creatures, the demons, who, unfortunately, even though thousands of years have passed, have become worse and have progressed in their evilness.

Once a monk* felt much pain [of heart] and, while he was kneeling at prayer, he said the following: "You are God and, if You want, You can find a way to save these miserable demons who first enjoyed such great glory, but now are full of all the evilness and cunning of the world. Without Your protection, they would have devoured all human beings." While he was saying these words, praying with pain [of heart], he saw a dog's head next to him sticking out his tongue and mocking him. It seems that God allowed for this to happen in order to inform the monk that He is ready to accept the demons provided they repent, but they themselves do not want their salvation.

One realizes from this incident not only the great love of monks, which they receive as a type of boundless love that is of God, but also the love of God, which is ready to save the demons as well, in spite of the billions of crimes they have committed, if only they would repent.

* We know from other stories of Elder Paisios that he is likely here talking about himself, since he later confessed that he once fasted and prayed for two weeks for the salvation of the devil, but the devil appeared to him after all that and merely mocked him.

*EDIT* I'm not really sure who I'm agreeing or disagreeing with here, I just like this story and this image.

Keromaru5 fucked around with this message at 14:05 on May 9, 2017

# ¿ May 9, 2017 05:02

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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System Metternich posted:

(Probably too easy) riddle for you: what's wrong with this reliquary containing a drop of blood of St John Paul II that was unveiled two weeks ago in the cathedral of Paderborn, Germany?

Is it the "H" in his name?

# ¿ May 10, 2017 00:11

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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HEY GAIL posted:

since becoming orthodox i still stumble over some of the prayers in english

The tough thing for me is inconsistent translations, especially in the liturgy. The book has one version, but the choir often has a version restructured to fit the same melody as the Greek. The priest, presvytera, and co-chanter have all expressed a desire for more congregational singing, but I'm not sure that can happen unless we're all reading from the same page.

We also recite the official Archdiocese version of the Creed, while the service book has its own unique one. A friend of mine gets thrown off at "for the remission of sins" vs. "for the forgiveness of sins."

pidan posted:

Fiction that tries to sell me on some philosophy tends to really turn me off, no matter if I agree with the author. The one exception being the Marion Bradley books which really convinced me of the idea that women are these magical wonderful creatures who would heal the world if it wasn't for those dastardly patriarchs.

I have some bad news about Marion Zimmer Bradley, then...

# ¿ May 17, 2017 22:00

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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Christianity Thread II: Discussing the Witcher

# ¿ May 19, 2017 15:40

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 05:38

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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Senju Kannon posted:

i never interacted with any of the witcher games someone relate it to german theology so i can understand it

All I know is it's built on Polish history, folklore, and culture. That's like right next to Germany, isn't it?

# ¿ May 19, 2017 16:18

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Christianity Thread II: Y'all need Jesus

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