/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

Streak posted:

I found a page about talking your husband out of a bad tattoo in our computer's history when I was looking for something else.

this is hilarious

# ¿ Jan 7, 2017 13:11

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 16, 2024 18:21

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

quote:

I [37F] am in love with an almost stranger [25 F] Not sure what I should do?

I moved to a new city not long ago, and started going to this one restaurant quite a bit. There's a waitress there that I have fallen for.. but she left to start her own business in another part of town. She gave me the name and section of town but I'm not sure where it is.

I have never been so immediately attracted to a person before in my life. I am pretty sure she is in a relationship though. But I also think she feels the spark as well.

What do I do? I feel like I have to at least let her know my feelings. I also am not sure how to find out where her business is, maybe by talking to someone at the restaurant?

Before people start talking me down about all of this, I know that if someone had these feelings for me I would at least want to know. I mean, this girl is someone I would propose to.

tl;dr: There's a girl I barely know but believe I am in love. How should I approach this?

"i also think she feels the spark as well" that is textbook wishful thinking mate

# ¿ Jan 8, 2017 12:37

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

quote:

I'm [26f] having second thoughts about marrying my fianc� [27m] because I've always imagined my daughter would look like me and my sisters and we're an interracial couple.

I know it's horrible and shallow but it's so incredibly hard to look at childhood pictures of us with my mom and realize my daughter won't even have a chance of inheriting the distinctive, recessive traits my mom adores in us.

I love my fianc� and want to spend the rest of my life with him but I don't know how to marry that with the sharp regret I feel at the thought of not having the little girl I've dreamed of. I want to marry him without having this ugly secret wish eating at me.

tl;dr: I'm a horrible person who can't let go of the longstanding fantasy of having a daughter that looks like me and my sisters enough to appreciate the man I'm in love with. What do I do?

hmmm what could "distinctive recessive traits" possibly mean....

# ¿ Jan 9, 2017 06:03

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

what does it filter from?

# ¿ Jan 9, 2017 11:07

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

quote:

My [20F] with my boyfriend [20M] of almost 2 years, has been lacking in personal hygiene and its affecting our sex life.

Hi everyone, ill try and make this pretty short.

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now and I am quite sure he is the love of my life and the person I want to spend forever with. He is kind, sweet, funny, gentle, and has all the characteristics I look for in a significant other. That being said, his personal hygiene has been not so good lately.

When I first met him, he obviously kept up his appearances; wore cologne, hair was nice and neat...he just overall looked (and smelled) nice. But as we got more comfortable with each other, we both started to maybe not try so hard regarding our appearances. I know I like to wear much more comfier clothes and just overall be pretty lax about things. But with him, its almost as if he doesn't wear deodorant at all, or brush his teeth...ever. In the 2 years that we've been dating, I have never seen him brush his teeth, ever. We don't live together, but I have spent consecutive nights with him on some vacations and such. It just completely grosses me out, his breath smells, his teeth look awful, and he just has this lingering odor from not wearing deodorant. I know he showers because we often do together, and when we're texting he'll mention he's about to take one.

But his stink is ruining any sexual attraction I have towards him. I don't want to smell his icky breath or kiss him when he doesnt brush his teeth for god knows how long. So how do I tell him this? I'm so not a confrontational person help!!!!

tldr boyfriend has stopped brushing his teeth and wearing deodorant, im losing sexual attraction to him.

why are people like this

# ¿ Jan 10, 2017 05:45

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

quote:

[b]My [21F] boyfriend [22] blocked me after I made an inconsiderate mistake[b]

My boyfriend and I were having a serious talk regarding an issue in our past that hurt him deeply. We were talking through Facebook chat. He decided to go to work late so that we can continue talking. I thought the conversation was about to wrap up and I also didn't want him to be even later for work. He got really upset when I told him the reason (going into a game of League of Legends) for not responding to him right away.

I've thoughtlessly made this mistake a few times before, and he has expressed how much it angers/hurts him when I do something else during a serious discussion. He said that was the last straw and that he and I are done. Granted, he says that he's done or we're done a lot of the times when we fight out of anger. He blocked me off of Facebook (he's done it before), and now I can't contact him since he doesn't have a phone. I messaged him from a different Facebook account of mine, but he didn't respond.

Oddly enough, we don't fight when we're in person. We only have hiccups when we're away from each other (the internet). He does these stunts like blocking and ignoring me, but in person we don't have any problems at all. I find it extremely difficult to resolve our fights when he does things like this. I am no angel by the way, I also pull these moves as well. So what can I do to resolve this issue? Should I keep trying to talk to him or let him cool down and give him space to come to me?

TL;DR: boyfriend blocked me after I played a game in the middle of a serious talk. How do I go about this situation? What do I do to fix my mistake?

lol break up you dummies

# ¿ Jan 15, 2017 08:05

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

i love it when people mess up the dumb title formula

quote:

Me [00 M/F] with my ___ [00 M/F] duration, short-descriptionI [21 M] find my depressed friend [18 M] tedious and annoying and the only reason I stick around is because I know of his issues.

# ¿ Jan 15, 2017 23:17

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

I love the mum in this one. I wish my mum could have done this to my terrible dad.

quote:

My [26F] mom's [54F] plan to surprise my dad [55M] with a divorce is kind of cruel

My parent's have been married for almost 30 years. Their marriage is not great. My dad's the kind of person who will come home from work and get angry that there isn't dinner on the table. Growing up, my dad never treated my mother like an equal. She was expected to do all the housework and look after the children, and dote on her husband at all times.

My parents have been empty nesting for a few years now. I have one younger sister, and we are both out of the house and have our own lives. Neither of us kids have particularly LIKED our dad. Like, we love him in the way that you love family, and we are grateful that he provided for us and helped us pay for college. But my dad is an rear end in a top hat who treats my mom poorly, and I never respected him for this.

I recently got brunch with my mother, and she dropped some pretty heavy news. She's planning on divorcing my father. I was honestly relieved and happy for her that she's finally doing this, but her plan to do so is rather troubling.

My parents are Chinese immigrants. My dad's best friend growing up (Daniel) and his family have been saving up for a trip to the US for years. They will be visiting my parents over Christmas. My dad, naturally, put the burden of this whole trip on my mother. He told her to organize their whole vacation, planning meals, reservations, activities, etc. Basically my mom is expected to be the complete tour guide and handle all the stress and organization of their visit (including picking them up from the airport) while my dad just gets to hang out with his childhood friend and not deal with anything. My mom doesn't even KNOW these people.

Apparently, however, this was the last straw for my mom. She is retaliating. She has only been pretending to organize this trip and faked a bunch of reservations and stuff to appease my dad. My dad thinks everything is organized and Daniel's family is being completely taken care of. Her plan, instead, is to serve him with divorce papers the day she is supposed to pick up Daniel's family from the airport. My dad will be out of town on business up until the day Daniel arrives, so she will be moved out by then. Daniel's family will be stranded at the airport, and my dad will come home to an empty house and no family.

While I support the divorce, I can't help but feel like this plan is a little too cruel. She can be as vindictive towards my father as she wants, but to drag another family into this seems unfair. My dad completely deserves this, but Daniel didn't do anything, and his family doesn't deserve to fly into the US and face this level of commotion.

Is it my place to say anything? I voiced to my mother my concerns and she basically was like "gently caress it and gently caress him." I barely talk to my father, but I don't know who I should reach out to or who I can talk some sense into.

My dad has never been violent towards my mom or anything, but I'm also nervous about what would happen if I told my father the truth before my mom has had a chance to gather herself and move out of the house without him being present. It just seems like an explosive argument waiting to happen.

tl;dr: My dads family friends are visiting. My mother was assigned the responsibility to handle their whole trip, including picking them up from the airport. Instead, my mom is going to do nothing and serve my dad divorce papers, leaving this visiting family stranded and cause a lot of commotion.

quote:

Update...

Thank you to everyone who replied. It's been about a month since my post. Reading everyones responses made a few things to me very clear, that I especially had not thought of before:

It is highly unlikely that Daniel's family being "stranded" at a large international airport in the US would be that big of an issue. They speak good enough English, they have cell phones, they have money, they have my Dad's contact information.

My mom's decision to wait for him to get his news until he returns from his trip is a strategic one, so she can move out calmly and safely. While my father is not physically abusive, he certainly would not let my mom leave comfortably. She doesn't need that stress.

While some suggested that I step in and take over her duties, others claimed that it was risky for me to take over this role--my father may then just see me as replacement for his wife. This may set a bad precedent.

While I initially found her plan to be cruel, some of you rightly pointed out that surely this act of cruelty pales tremendously compared to the years of mistreatment she has dealt with.

So, Reddit, I opted to know nothing and do nothing. Here's what happened. Around the time Daniel's family was to be picked up, I get a phone call from my father. I decided (especially since this was the middle of a workday) to ignore it, because I frankly did not want to get wrapped up in the commotion. He called again and then sent me a series of texts, demanding to know the whereabouts of my mother.

Now, if you recall, my father had been on a business trip this entire week. His first chain of messages/calls was when had a layover in Denver. He was to be in Denver for 3 hours before he could get on his connection home. This means that, at this point, my dad is aware that Daniel's family has not been picked up (because Daniel obviously called my father) and that my mother was not answering her phone, but he did not know why. He also called my younger sister, who said she genuinely had no idea what was going on, but also lived out of state so was unable to help (I later find out that my sister was also briefed by my mother about what might happen so that she wouldn't get caught off guard, and she was just playing a fool to help my mother along). I eventually text my dad back saying I have no idea what is going on, but I'm very busy at work and won't be able to get back to him for a while.

My dad, unable to find immediate answers, told Daniel there must have been some miscommunication. He told them to get a cab from the airport to the house and just make themselves at home until my father could get to them. He gave Daniel the keycode to the house, told him to call back once Daniel and his family were safely at home.

Here's where things get a bit theatrical. My mother apparently attached the divorce papers to an easel, with a nice big DIVORCE label and note, and placed the easel right at the entrance hall to the house so it's the first thing you see once you open the door. So, as you guess it, who get's the divorce news first? Daniel and his family. Daniel then has to tell my father that my mother is divorcing him.

This is precisely what happens (Daniel recounts this in private to me later, which is how I know). But apparently my father went through a range of emotions, from disbelief, to a fumbling stutter, to anger, you name it. This, by the way, is happening while he is at the Denver airport, surrounded by his colleagues. He then has to, presumably, give some sort of explanation to his work friends and deal with an awkward and uncomfortable plane ride back home.

Long story short, my dad was incredibly embarrassed and flustered. He had no idea what to do or how to help himself or anyone. Daniel actually ended up coming to the rescue, because he is apparently quite the meticulous planner and had many suggestions for activities and sightseeing. Basically, Daniel took charge of his own vacation, while my dad fumbled around like a lost puppy, just tagging along their trip while being completely discombobulated.

I expected my dad to put on a farce for Daniel and his family and pretend things were fine, but he was unable to do that at all. I think he legitimately and honestly believed that my mom would never leave him, and was too much at a loss for words to even be angry.

Later on, I stepped in to help out Daniel's family and make sure they were doing okay, giving my dad some time to himself. Overall, while they weren't wined and dined in quite the way the probably expected, Daniel seemed like a good and understanding friend, and they managed to have a productive vacation. Daniel said towards the end, when the shock had worn off, my dad and he were able to have a little fun. It was probably a good thing that Daniel was around to help my dad through it.

As for my parents, in general, they are only communicating through their lawyers. My mom moved out to her own apartment. She hasn't told my father where she lives, and I am completely staying out of it. My mom seems like a brand new person to me. I am incredibly happy for her for being so brave and finally taking charge of her own life.

My dad is pathetic and completely helpless. He's been wrapping himself up in his work and eating lots of takeout. I've been careful with my involvement: I will be supportive enough so he doesn't feel completely alone, but I am adamant to not become some sort of caregiver for him. I refuse to answer questions about my mothers whereabouts, but I do express sympathy for her. It's important for me to make sure my father recognizes that honestly, I am on my mothers side, and that I never agreed with the way he treated her. That being said, I am also careful not to antagonize my parents towards each other. I want this breakup to be as clean as possible.

tl;dr I didn't intervene. Daniel had to get to the house on his own, where he found my parents divorce papers. Daniel had to tell my father that my mother was divorcing him. Daniel ended up taking charge of his own vacation, my dad tagged along, I helped a little. My mom is on her own and happier than ever, my dad is completely lost.

# ¿ Jan 21, 2017 10:42

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

quote:

Girlfriend [28F] wants us to split costs based on gender pay gap. I think this is stupid.

So we've been dating for 2 years and plan to start living together in a couple of months. I make 80K, she makes 75K. My idea is that we split the living costs based on income (52% me, 48% her). She thinks we shouldn't do it based on the income, we must do it based on the gender wage gap.

So assuming women make 79 cents on the men's dollar, our percentages default to 56% me and 44% her. Adding our income difference to it means that she wants me to cover 58% of our costs and herself 42%.

She says this is what every single one of her friends do with their SOs and says it's the most fair. Honestly I've never heard of doing it this way, all I've heard is that couples either do it by income, or just split in half.

Is she right that this is more fair to her, and should I accept? Is this a normal way to do this?

tl;dr: Girlfriend wants us to include the gender pay gap in the way we split the costs to make it more fair to her.

the balls on this girl to ask for this lmao. i love it

# ¿ Jan 21, 2017 22:55

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

Good on that guy for straight up punching his brother.

# ¿ Jan 23, 2017 01:10

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

quote:

I [22M] just found out that my girlfriend [21F] plays Sims, and has turned one of her sims into a serial killer.

This is kind of ridiculous and mind-boggling but here it goes.

I've been with my girlfriend for two years now. We've had an amazing relationship full of growth and love. We've fought, but have always been able to communicate with each other. She's great.

Except, we were Skyping and she was sharing her screen because we were watching a movie together. The movie finishes, she says that she's going to play Sims. I tell her that I want to watch because I was just curious as to what she does on there, because I know that she likes interior design and has fun making houses and stuff. She opens it up and starts playing. I notice a woman standing in what looks like a dark cellar. I ask her what that is supposed to be.

She says:
"Oh, I make one of my characters sleep with women and then lock them away afterwards so that they die. It's kinda funny."

???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

I am writing this as I continue to Skype with her. I know that she's not a sociopath. But I just, I don't know. She's really empathetic and sweet but can have a hosed up sense of humor sometimes. Please someone help me out here and tell me if I'm overreacting.

tl;dr: GF likes to make her Sims kill other Sims.

lmao

# ¿ Jan 28, 2017 03:55

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

quote:

My [21M] boyfriend is mad at me [20F]. He saw a celebrity and he's mad because I told him it's best to leave them alone.

This happened a while ago but my boyfriend is a huge wrestling fan. A while ago we saw Bobby Roode out with his children and wife. I said it's best to leave them alone and not to bother him. He listened to me and now he won't get off my case about not letting him meet him. To me it just did not seem like a good time, am I wrong considering breaking up over this?

Every time he gets a chance he brings it up and trys to make me feel bad. I was only seeing it from this guys perspective. I just thought he would not like some randoms coming up to him and bothering him.

tl;dr: Boyfriend keeps giving me grief and I want to break up.

# ¿ Jan 28, 2017 08:31

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

Oh that poor kid, his dad only reached out to him at all to demand his organs

# ¿ Jan 28, 2017 12:50

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

My dad was a major workaholic, always complaining about how much he hates his job, how stressful it is, but how we need the money and oh no we can't afford to cut back on commitments--

Of course all the while all those extra weekends he was working he was actually loving off to see some woman on the other side of the city and spending thousands and thousands of dollars on her and other women, mostly poor Asian domestic servants. Probably some of these workaholic boyfriends/husbands are doing the same thing!!

Anyway enough projection here's some content

quote:

My [25M] girlfriend [25F] has become a body builder. I'm becoming less and less attracted to her the more muscle she gains and I feel terrible about it.

My girlfriend who I will call Anne and I have been dating for 5 years since University, I lover her but this situation is starting to effect me.
Anne used to have weight issues whilst she was at school. She was bullied for being "fat" (she wasn't) and she ended up suffering from anorexia. When I met Anne she was a perfectly fine, healthy weight and drop dead gorgeous. She didn't think that though.

She has been struggling for years with her image because of the bullying and the anorexia she suffered when she was younger, always checking the mirror to make sure she wasn't get fat, asking me to reassure her etc. She wasn't fat, at all, and was basically my ideal girlfriend physically, emotionally and mentally.

This is until she turned 23 and she started doing weight training at the gym. She ended up loving the weight training a lot more than the cardio as she noticed "more improvements" from the weight lifting. I was happy for her, I want my girlfriend to be as happy as she can be and hate seeing her when she gets upset about her weight.

Bring this back up to this current day and Anne is pretttttttty muscly now. Like, she's not as big as a women's bodybuilder, but you can see the similarities between them and she looks completely different. Mentally, I'm extremely pleased for her as she no longer has any body issues and that makes me feel good to see my girlfriend actually liking herself.

However, the problem is, I'm not attracted to her body anymore. I'm not into muscly girls and I loved the way she looked before. Her body, to me at least, is what I would consider manly now. Like I said I'm very happy for her and love that she has so much confidence in herself, but when we have sex now I just don't enjoy it anywhere near as much. I don't like the feel or look of the muscles she has now, I honestly wish I did but it just seems to turn me off, and I've been making excuses recently not to have sex.

This is something I really want to get sorted. I love her, but at the same time whilst I'm not "repulsed" to touch her sexually, I don't exactly enjoy it anymore because of her transformation. Should I be honest with her about this? Or should I try and get over myself?

tl;dr: Girlfriend has had weight issues most of her life. She has put on a lot of muscle due to weight lifting the past couple of years and even though I love her and she feels so much better about herself, I find myself less and less attracted to her the more muscly she gets. What should I do?

break up with the muscly woman you are no longer attracted to and send her to me, please

# ¿ Feb 2, 2017 02:46

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

everyone shush about app permissions, have some gift dilemmas just in time for valentine's

quote:

I (17F) think I have the ring that was promised to my cousin (28?F)

I was looking through my jewelry box at the table and my mom came through. I showed her a ring my grandma gave me over the summer and was like, "I love this and it fits me perfectly! Whatever this is its my exact size."

My mom gets this look and is like, "That's not the ring "Amy" was supposed to get, is it?"

I think it is. I gave no thought to it when I got it and it hasn't occurred to me all the times I've heard this story, but the story is that my late great grandmother promised Amy a gold and amethyst ring, but since she was so out of control (on drugs and stealing and stuff) when Great Grandma passed that no one wanted to give Amy the ring so my grandma just kept it all this time. Keep in mind this has been since 2002 and when all of this went down I was a toddler so it's not like I was there to remember it.

But I kind feel bad. If this is the ring, Amy has been trying to get it for 10+ years now and it's widely believed in my family that since she's cleaned up her act she should get it - except for grandma, who has permanently demonized her for getting pregnant at 18 and stealing and doing drugs. But at the same time Great Grandma was the original owner and wanted Amy to have it. I have other family jewelry whereas Amy lost or sold a lot of things.
It just so happens she is supposed to be visiting next weekend. My mom says it's up to me, and I'm not sure what to do here. Should I give it to her or just be quiet? I'm not 100% sure it's the ring. It may be a different one but I know it was my great grandmother's, it appears to be gold and have an amethyst stone.

TLDR: My cousin was promised a ring by my great grandmother. When she passed, my cousin was kind of a mess so grandma kept it. I think it was given to me over the summer and I don't know if I should give it to her or not.

quote:

My [42 F] boyfriend [50 M] bought me a SUV, I already have a car, can I trade both in for a different car without being rude?

I know this is a great gift, but I have a car, and I'm going to have to pay to get the title and insurance on this gift. I could ask him to pay for that part, but he has done enough, so I will take care of it.

I live near a big city, so parking a vehicle can be a nightmare for one vehicle, let alone two. Where I live now parking isn't a problem, but I will be moving into the city soon. I just don't want to have to pay for insurance on two autos or pay for extra parking. Parking spots are almost impossible to get in the city I will be moving to; to have one of your own is a dream, to have two is just about unheard of. Certainly in the price range of places I will be moving to. (Washington DC, if it helps)

I really like my car, it has an automatic starter, free satellite radio for life, and it is awesome on gas, runs like a dream, etc. My boyfriend feels like I needed an SUV to handle winter weather, so he surprised me by getting me one. My car is actually really great on the snow, which is something I have told him when he's asked about it. Plus, I'm from up north, so I learned to drive on the snow.

My thing is, I feel like it would make more sense for me to sell both autos and get a brand new car, but I am not sure if that would be rude.
How long should I keep both autos? How long would you want a person to keep a vehicle you gave them before selling it? He is so nice that he would never tell me not to sell it.

Just thought of something new. My ex gave me the car I now drive, so that could be another reason my current boyfriend wants me to get rid of it, and why he bought me a new vehicle. Yes, I know I have been very lucky to be given so many autos.

tl;dr: Boyfriend bought me an SUV. I'm worried about paying for insurance on it and parking fees. Also, I would like to trade my car and this SUV in for a brand new car. Would that be a jerk move?

quote:

My (23M) incredible girlfriend (25F) just gave me my valentine's day gift early and I feel like poo poo

My girlfriend is amazing. I am in love with her and I honestly hope to marry her one day...but she gives me way too much stuff.

She shows her love through many things but one of her favorites is gift giving. I'm a gift giver myself but she takes things to an entirely different level.
My girlfriend comes from a ridiculously wealthy family and she gives everyone in her life lavish gifts. I've talked to her about how she doesn't have to give me so much stuff (I'm talkin' 300 dollar cologne set just because).

Yet today she calls me over to her parent's house and there she has a surprise valentine's day gift she couldn't wait to give me. I won't say what it was but this was A multiple thousand dollar purchase.

I got her a purse.
[From comments: With this purse I noticed her looking at it on her phone a few months ago. But I will put more effort into noticing more things about her like that.]

I feel like poo poo because I can't keep up with this. That, and I just don't feel right accepting so much from her. I just want her time. Don't buy me poo poo, but watch stupid vine compilations with me and I'm the happiest guy on earth.

What do I do? I honestly love the gift but I'd have rather bought it on my own and I don't feel right accepting it.

tl;dr: My girlfriend bought me a gift that costs a ton of money and I don't feel right accepting it. What do I do?

My opinions:

1. Ask your grandma about the ring before mentioning it to your cousin;

2. Never get someone a car as a surprise!;

3. Just get thoughtful gifts like the purse and don't worry about matching the cost. She clearly just likes giving extravagant gifts to people and as long as you tell her you don't need them I think you're fine.

# ¿ Feb 12, 2017 00:01

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

Pick posted:

My grandparents on my mother's side met at a tall people's club, where women were required to be 6' and men were required to be 6'4". Apparently they were a spectacle everywhere they went in the late 30s because people just weren't that tall. That crew remained friends for life, some of them are still in correspondence to this day (the alive ones).

That rules.

Content:

quote:

Anyone have a guess as to what I'm dealing with here? (21M) (20F)

This girl sits a few feet to the right of me in class. Today I saw her looking over a little to her left, and when I looked over towards her her eyes quickly glanced another direction. But I saw her eyes before she looked away and they weren't looking at me, but somewhere else

A little later I say something to her because she was having trouble. I maintained eye contact through our very short convo but she was cycling looking at me and looking at the floor every .7 seconds. Her guy friends in the class however she can talk to and not look away.

Last week I was talking to someone behind her regarding the class work, and she could've very easily just turned her head left and looked and listened over her shoulder, but instead she turned her full body left, looked at me while fixing the ends of her hair with both hands.

Anyone have a guess as to what I'm dealing with here?

Tl;dr Looking at me? but somewhat avoiding eye contact

First comment:

quote:

You are dealing with a girl who glanced at you. Carry on.

quote:

I [16F] have made a huge, awkward mistake with [16F]

So this started a little while ago and I'm really freaking out. So we were in a lecture and at one point I make eye contact with another girl. No big deal as it happens to me a lot. But suddenly it's like I cant stop.

She seems to appear everywhere and I just feel so guilty and awful. I don't think I like her but honestly have no idea . I am 98% sure she knows. It also doesn't help she seems like a genuinely good person. I think I should apologize but is there a better way to stop this? Advice would be really appreciated.

Tl;dr can't stop making eye contact with this girl but don't know how to stop or what to do

# ¿ Feb 13, 2017 23:28

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

Mirthless posted:

"I was looking at a girl, in the eyes, and she saw me! Did I ruin everything, forever?"

teenagers.

i feel like there might be some unconscious internalised homophobia going on there but the post is so vague it's hard to tell

# ¿ Feb 13, 2017 23:49

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

count the number of bad ideas in this one

quote:

My (20 M) gf (17 F) of 1 years wants to have a sexparty and i am terrified.

I(20/m) have a beautiful and loving girlfriend(17/f) we have been in this relationship for 1 years. She is bi am straight the relationship is monogamous.

I have had one girlfriend before her and lost my v card to her. My gf only had gfs before me because though she is bi she "somewhat likes girls a little more".

This 1 year was awesome so far in every way possible.(except a few things see later). She is hot, clever, funny, she has the same interests as me, same political and religious views as me. I want to marry the f out of her and have 1-2 children. Yeah i am madly in love with her. But...

Yesterday after sex just out of the blue she said that she wants to have a sex party the following way: she and 4-5 of her friends all girls aged: 15, 17, 17, 18, 18. Some of these girls she used to have sex before. Some of them are straight and "just want to explore their sexuallity" and others are bi. I can watch and am free to join in if i want to but they would prefer if i wouldnt. Iam scared to death.

First i have no idea how to have sex with more than one girl at once. Second what if one of them gets pregnant? [Despite the fact that they don't want him to join in, he's clearly planning on it] No contraception works 100% i had to use condom only and none of the girls are on pills. (we use both pills and condom with my gf). And most importantly am scared that she might use this as an excuse to latter have sex with multiple guys. I dont think that she would do something like that but i read frequently r/relationships and i have the impression that no girl ever is 100% trustworthy.

So what do you guys think should i be ok with this? I know 99,99% of guys would say "f yeah dude!" But i do really love her i dont want to f up this. Iam also scarred that because of this experience she might leave me for a girl. Tbh i dont have any idea why she is with me am not good looking am not rich and i doubt iam good in bed since i have very little experience hence my fear she might leave me for a girl or cheat on me with a other guy. (thanks reddit for ruining my trust in women).

disclaimer: this is my first post, age of consent in my country is 14,[sure it is!] my native language is obviously not english.

tl;dr:Gfs want to have a sexparty asks my permission but i am scarred that this might ruin our relationship.

# ¿ Feb 14, 2017 02:28

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

count the red flags

My [45 M] wife [28 F] of two years is moving out, but I wonder if I should give it one last shot

quote:

Before there is too much sympathy, I served her divorce papers last week. When I did, I told her: I love you, but I hate our relationship. Today I am off and saw her, we talked and since my back hurt she gave me a massage (nothing more, she is an LMP). I carried a bunch of things to her car for her. She is doing a great job of hiding it, but I think she is heartbroken inside.

When we were still together we went to counseling, which was hard because English is her second language and counselors are freakin terrible about calling back. It literally took me a year to get a hold of a Chinese speaking counselor who could take us on. We saw her for about 6 months before the issues became too much.

The issues break down as follows: she doesnt respect me or my desires. At all. She likes to act like she does, and think she does, so in her mind she is doing a great job. But I tell her about which things matter to me, and she ignores them. Literally refuses to do them, then brings me a piece of candy or picks up my socks off the floor and congratulates herself about how nice she is to me.

For example, it is important to me to have dinner together. When we first were married we did it, but then she decided she didnt want to eat dinner anymore. I talked to her about it and she refused to do it, but said she would sit with me when I ate. I want to share a meal, not become a spectacle.

There are other things, but they are basically like that. When I gave her the papers she said she didnt know what she did, even though we have been going to counseling and talking about this stuff a lot.

Even though I dont have a ton of money available, I am wondering if I should hire a translator to write her a message in Chinese so she can understand it. For me to do this, I will probably have to write 5-10 pages, so this could cost me hundreds of dollars. We still love each other, but she is so self centered that she thinks she is selfless, and I dont know if any amount of words can get through to her.

tl;dr: Due to language limitations and stubbornness my wife may not understand the reasons behind our pending divorce, I am wondering if I should hire a translator to write her a long letter explaining it.

43 year old man who does not speak Chinese at all marries 26 year old Chinese woman who has some trouble understanding English. Hmmm.

# ¿ Feb 22, 2017 23:06

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

Nazzadan posted:

As it turns out, she was a lesbian the entire time

This is fantastic

I wish all these stories would end the same way

# ¿ Feb 22, 2017 23:12

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

horse girls are an endless source of incredible r/elationships stories

# ¿ Feb 23, 2017 00:02

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

I want to know more about that guy thinking his wife has Huntington's based purely on her decision to flee the country. Does he have any other reason for thinking that? Cos, uh, if they've been married 25 years, maybe they got married at 20 at the youngest then she's at least 45 but possibly older, then her life expectancy is like fifteen years maximum and she'll be needing full-time care for a lot of that. And it's hereditary, so their kids could have it, and one of her parents had to have had it. Weird to just mention it as a throwaway justification for her abandoning the family with no further info.

It's in my family history and it comes up so rarely, I'm always fascinated by mentions of it.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2017 02:42

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

Bubblyblubber posted:

Me [27F] and my fiancé [28M]; we were being robbed at knifepoint, and he ran away and left me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjjzVbTBF8o

# ¿ Mar 23, 2017 10:28

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

Play posted:

a cat, a large dog (100 pounds of golden retriever st. bernard mix), and my sugargliders (terrible pets don't get them).

I really want more info on this

# ¿ Apr 1, 2017 03:50

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

really i want to know where i too can get a fat golden retriever st bernard, a cat, and a bucket of sugar gliders

....wait, i should just offer to let her move in with me

thanks r/relationships, another problem solved

# ¿ Apr 1, 2017 04:57

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

the OP's comments in that hotdog post are hilarious:

quote:

The more I think about it, the more I'm sure she's been the one eating hot dogs, if you know what I mean. After stewing all day I'm done with it all.

quote:

Commenter: Normally I relish a frank conversation, but his explanation here doesn't really cut the mustard. I would make sure to get the point across to him that this is a pretty serious problem likely to start a major beef in the relationship if not end it altogether.

OP: I see what you did there. I appreciate the thoughts, but I don't think any conversation will have him ketchup to where I am and meat me in a reasonable place. It's over.

Commenter: Glad you still have your sense of humor. I'm sorry he was such a two-faced liar.

OP: I have to laugh so I don't cry. This is all so gross and weird. I'm just glad it happened before his lease was up.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2017 03:18

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

But if you don't knock at parties how do you get in?

# ¿ Apr 7, 2017 10:10

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

I'm very unhappy that I know that now

# ¿ Apr 25, 2017 10:16

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

found an amazing fantasy of masculinity. starts off almost believable, but the comments give a little too much away

I (22/m) pushed my sister (25/f) away after I beat up her bf. I want to repair the relationship but don't know how.

quote:

Well. I did the stupid/macho thing all guys think about but never do. I beat the poo poo out of a guy (24/m) and put him in the hospital for a week.

Let me start from the start. I grew up the youngest with 2 older sisters (25, 28) and I love them more than anyone else. We've always been really close, we go to concerts together. Meet up for lunch. All kinds of stuff. Well the 25 yo "O" (no significance to real name) moved away to a city about 6 hours away while me and the other sister "A" still live near our home town.

I was at work one day when A asked if I'd like to meet up for lunch. So we did and chat for a while and she started talking about O's new bf "J" and how he was a dick and all sorts of stuff. So I texted O that night to chat and asked about this new guy. Well, she didn't say much. Just that they were happy and things were going a little fast but no biggy.

Fast forward a week and I get a call from O asking if she could stay at my place for the weekend. Sure thing. She stays all the time when she visits so I didn't think anything of it and left a key with my neighbor so she could let herself in. When I get home from work there's a shiney new truck in the driveway. That's odd. Wonder who's car that is blocking my garage. So I park on the street and walk in and low and behold there's J laying on my couch with my sister in the kitchen. Now Idk this guy so my first words were "who the hell are you?" And then O jumps in and introduces him.
I immediately argue with him to get him to move his truck so I can pull mine in. He says no he needs the garage for his new truck to keep it in good shape. I said no he needs to move it to the street now. He eventually moves it and while he's outside I tell O that it was wrong for her to bring him without asking and I'm not ok with it.

She gets defensive of him after I start showing how much I don't want him in my home. I tell her how I told my gf and her son they had to stay at her place this weekend (she's awesome and it's not unusual for them to jump between places depending on the kids father and work and such) to which she said they could have stayed. But no way. It's a 2 bed house, me and gf then kid.

After some heated discussion they leave and go to stay with A. I called A to warn her and she in turn rejected them as well. So they get a hotel, whatever. Well that weekend went about as awkward as you would expect culminating in me and A leaving parents house because of this guy. We go to my house where my gf and her son, A's family and a few friends come over and the kids play while the adults socialize. It was all jolly good. Eventually mom and dad show up to play with the grand kids and everything is even better.

Then O and J show up. Right away A can sense my dislike so urges me to take the dog out back to play with the kids (he's a golden who can do cool stuff with a frisbee) and she will handle J. Well I am outside and hear alot of commotion and apparently J had punched A twice and thrown mom against the door. I loose my cool and drag him out front and tell him to leave. He says not without O. And I say no. She stays you leave. Well he kept kicking my door eventually broke the frame. I meet him at the doorway and immediately a fist fight breaks out. I am an ex marine, so I'm not exactly a small guy. But I lost it and couldn't stop myself. He eventually crawled away and O ran out and drove him to the ER.

A tries her best to get into contact with O but she wouldn't answer until eventually telling us to leave her alone that I ruined everything. (He dumped her because our family is too violent. Whatever).

So here we are about 6 months later and O has said maybe 5 words to me but is ok with A. (Me and A are still really close) I want to start to repair our relationship and get close again but I'm not sure how to go about it. I feel like I'm walking on egg shells around her.

Any advice on how to approach this? Should I wait longer? Christmas is approaching and we always have a big family Christmas and I don't want to ruin that for mom and dad.

Tl;dr: Sisters bf was really rude and eventually I lost it and beat him up. Then sister wouldn't talk to me. Now 6 months later I want to repair things. How?

Edit: OP's gf here! You guys are awesome and pretty much hit the nail on the head with suggestions! He is currently out with Simba (his golden, best name ever right!?!) Trying to clear his head and asked me to update you all. He decided to text A and ask her if she could run the idea of O meeting with him sometime soon. Well he heard back and well, things are rocky. She said she would talk over phone but not in person to which A was unhappy with and they came to the answer for Me, OP, A, A's husband, and mom and dad to go visit O and have a family meeting. So that's where we will be this weekend and here's hoping it goes well. Again thanks for the support he really is a great guy and wants nothing more than his family back together! Maybe he will propose soon...... (he's going to kill me for that. )

Comments:

quote:

Thanks for the perspective! I have considered going through A but I really didn't want to risk her relationship with O. Maybe I will bring it up with her and see what she thinks. The more I think about it the more I believe her issues with men stem from myself and A. I've always been told I am the "perfect" guy (not to sound cocky it's just what I've been told) and everyone always raves over A's husband so I think maybe she's worried that if she brings a guy she really likes home, he won't measure up? Does that make sense?

quote:

In my defense it was my home (front yard) but yea I forget that not everyone is as traveled and experienced as me.

Comments using OP's account but claiming to be his gf:

quote:

OP's gf here!

I just want to add that he is honestly the sweetest, gentlest man I've met. I've been with him for almost 2 years now and I've never even seen him look a little upset! He's never even raised his voice! He's great with my son, who sees him as a father figure and everyone immediately likes him. (I have no idea how I got so lucky honestly)

But my point is he honestly did everything right in this situation. He tried to be civil over and over again. But once he felt as though people were at risk he reacted and I wouldn't have wanted him to do anything else. He keeps his loved ones safe and that's what matters to me. He battles PTSD (nothing major just a few dreams here and there but we manage) and I've never seen him as low as the day these events occurred.

quote:

He is seriously the best! I have a questionable past at best, but he was my "knight in shining armor" so to speak and took me in issues and all. I have no idea why but he is my rock!

quote:

Thanks! I just gotta figure out how to get him to put a ring on it! But I honestly would rather be his gf forever than be with someone else. (That sounds healthy lol)

I have never doubted his willingness to put family first. He has a natural protective instinct and it's one of the most attractive things about him!

quote:

OP's gf present!
Very well said and I can't stress enough how much OP hates violence. Another thing OP left out was the size difference. OP is standard marine build 6' maybe 210 lbs. A truck basically. This guy was a little taller but big. Like not fat, just big. So I would like to think he is used to getting his way with threats. Now, I'm not sure if he knew the marine part, but it's not like it's hard to tell when you see him. So I'm not sure what J's plan was but obviously he didn't think it through.

OP also left out that he was really hard on himself afterwards. Like afraid I would be afraid of him or something. Which is exactly the opposite, I've never felt more safe. Obviously I know somethings he went through in service but it got real in a hurry that day and he was ashamed of it for a while.

quote:

It's my opinion that he took it so hard because he left the service to get away from violence but then had to resort to it in his home. Nobody here blames him but himself but he's far better than he was. Thanks for the insight into your life!

Some one gets suspicious:

quote:

I thought Marines never called themselves "ex", but rather "former".

Did the cops get involved with this at all? How did he explain it when he got to the hospital? I'd think after hospitalizing someone for a week, questions might be asked.

The above is just out of curiosity.

quote:

OP gf here I will try to answer your questions!

He calls himself ex for private reasons (he's trying to move on and doesn't want to associate with some stuff)

The cops were never involved but his cousin is a lawyer and we contacted her the day after the incident and she was prepared for if something were to come about.

Not sure how the hospital visit went and I don't know if OP does either. Criminally speaking.

# ¿ May 2, 2017 01:44

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

a few pages back, but

Haifisch posted:

When I talk about the baby they reply weirdly and act as if they are a jealous couple, implying that their baby was superior or something. I tell them I am that baby they are talking about, and how can my baby be any inferior to theirs.

I absolutely love this

"Ugh, my baby was superior to yours in every way, awful daughter"
"But.... I was your baby?"

# ¿ Aug 16, 2017 05:32

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

quote:

Yes, I do sometimes speak up against Peter, when I disagree with something he says (eg when he makes jokes about my country)

ah, i see

# ¿ Aug 28, 2017 10:51

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

Pick posted:

act 4:

and that's where the party toilet comes in

# ¿ Sep 8, 2017 07:02

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

you made out with your boyfriend's sister, either take that to the grave or prepare to break up

# ¿ Sep 10, 2017 05:04

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

Admiral Ray posted:

They hosed.

omg lol they did, i wasn't reading closely enough. lady, run the hell away right now, there's no coming back from that

# ¿ Sep 10, 2017 06:12

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

Guy I was seeing briefly [27M] tried to bang another girl [20sF] in the same bed as me [25F] and I reacted in a way no sane human would ever behave.
submitted 10 hours ago by Disrespect_Me_Daddy

quote:

I apologize in advance because this is a bit of a wild ride and doesn't make any of the parties involved, including myself, look normal whatsoever. I'm still trying to process this situation and understand why I behaved the way I did and why this happened in the first place. I am using a throwaway because holy poo poo, I feel stupid.

Let's say my name is Rachel. I met Jim [27M] a couple of months ago at a party at his house - he is my roommate's boyfriend's roommate. We didn't start seeing each other until very recently when we ran into each other again out at a bar. I was very attracted to him from the beginning and we slept with each other that night, and continued until this weekend. I'm pretty blas� about sex and relationships, and maybe he picked up on that, but I gave him plenty of indication that I was interested in and liked him.

He seemed fun and nice and normal. I hadn't been particularly enthusiastic about anybody I had seen in awhile, and I was incredibly smitten with him. I really, truly enjoyed his company and I was excited to be excited about dating again. Everything was going fine until this weekend. The guys are moving out of their house and decided to throw one last party. Early in the evening he and I ducked into his room for a quickie (classy, I know). We returned to the party and had a great time. Eventually I was feeling pretty drunk and decided to put myself to bed in his room, cuddling his dog. He knew I was there, as he told another friend of mine who asked about me. Around 5 in the morning I wake up to other people in the room. It's Jim and another girl I've seen around at their parties, Carol. They sit on the bed and he says "Hey Rachel, I'm loving Carol too." Obviously this is the point where I should have gotten up, called an Uber, slept off my hangover and never looked back. Instead, in my drunken, sleepy stupor, I assumed he was trying to initiate a threesome (I KNOW....) which I was sort of okay with because I had seen the girl around before and thought she was attractive. She makes it clear she isn't into women. He starts rubbing her back and saying "Isn't Carol so hot? She's got such a cool hairstyle. She's so sexy. And she's Asian " Ew, I know. Again, I should've left, but I felt paralyzed and confused and drunk. They lay down beside me and start making out. I can't get myself to move, I'm stunned. His penis is out. Eventually she says "I'm going to go" and they move to the hallway on the other side of the door where I can hear them continue to hook up.

When he returns to the room he's alone and I'm livid. He starts apologizing right away, but I don't remember much of what his apology consisted of, aside from his defense of "I'm sorry. You and I have only been seeing each other for a short time. It's not like we're exclusive." He tells me about his "history" with Carol - they dated for 3 weeks before she slept with his friend, Frank. They hadn't spoken for months until this evening, when he had sex with her after sleeping with me. At this point (FINALLY) I'm pulling up the Uber app. He says I should at least let him pay for my Uber and I agree. He orders one, and in a moment of drunken pettiness, complete insanity, or both, I tell him his Uber score can gently caress right off because I'm staying here to sleep and will be getting a ride with my roommate in the morning (she was sleeping in her boyfriend's room downstairs). I think in that instant I just wanted to make him as uncomfortable as he made me. I'm not proud of it. I lay back down in his bed and tell him to find somewhere else to sleep. He chooses the couch at the end of the bed.

In the morning he "apologizes" again. I'm still feeling drunk from the night before and I tell him shortly how hosed up it was, but for whatever reason (I suspect a combination of the alcohol in my system, and not yet being removed from the situation) I've largely cooled off and am convincing myself it was silly of me to be mad because we had only been seeing each other for a very brief amount of time. He takes a shower, and we have sex. We walk his dog to the coffee shop. We come home, cuddle on the couch, and have sex again. When my roommate wakes up I leave with her, and finally I break down as I tell her what happened.

I'm so angry at myself for every missed opportunity to leave. I'm angry for behaving so foolishly when they came into the bed. I'm angry that I let him think his behavior was okay on any level, because it doesn't feel okay to me. I feel stupid and humiliated. I've deleted his number and will not be talking to him again. I doubt he will reach out to me since he obviously respects me so little.

I guess I'm writing this out to try to better understand what happened. Where did this sudden lack of self-respect come from on my part that would allow me to react in this way? I'm smart, attractive, funny, talented, hardworking, and kind. I don't (USUALLY) find myself in completely trashy situations like this and allow myself to be disrespected so deeply. I mean, this was totally disrespectful, right??

Also, why would Carol go along with or be okay with doing this? What was the expected outcome? I've considered that maybe they wanted the bed and to get me to leave, but Jesus, how mean! They could've (and did) hook up elsewhere in the house. Why would they feel the need to involve me in what feels like a sick prank? It just seems evil, and I'm really having trouble understanding why they would do this. Like I said, I'm easygoing in relationships and could certainly see myself enjoying a poly relationship - I'm okay with one or multiple partners, and at the very least I don't expect exclusivity unless it's discussed. But I would also never expect a partner to be okay with me having sex with someone else on top of them! No amount of alcohol or nonmonogamy would ever make me behave so disrespectfully or vindictively.

Reddit, I'm not overreacting right? I acknowledge that I also behaved very foolishly, and I'm prepared to hear that as well. But I'm correct in thinking that this situation was hosed up, right? And what on earth would possess me to sleep with him (twice!!!) afterward?? I am not desperate, but Jesus if I don't feel like it now... What can I do to heal from this situation and help me to stop feeling so low? I'm having a really hard time not calling myself an idiot and a loser. I keep thinking that I brought this on myself and it kills me that I would have let any of this happen. I need to somehow redirect these negative feelings. Obviously I plan to go no contact (maybe fire off a "new phone who dis" text if he reaches out) but I'm still feeling like crap for letting him get away with doing this to me. I don't want to talk to him or try to explain to him why I'm hurt, because I honestly don't feel like he would care and that would just make me feel worse. I really liked him, and have never been rejected so severely. I just want to move on and feel better.

Thanks for reading my completely ridiculous story. I look forward to hearing any advice you all have to offer.

TL;DR: Guy I've been seeing (27) brings another girl (mid 20s?) into his bed where I (25) was sleeping during a party. I think they are initiating a threesome, they are assuredly NOT. He talks about how hot she is, and they hook up next to me before leaving the room and having sex within earshot of me. I told him off right after, but hung out and had sex with him twice the following morning, like a big ol' dummy. I feel humiliated and stupid, and am having trouble moving forward.

i have to say, from the title i thought this was going to end up as a murder or at least assault, but it's still pretty hosed

also, this is a throwaway account apparently and that's the username she picked? lol

# ¿ Sep 27, 2017 02:16

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

My (23f) roommate (21f) won't speak to me after I asked a mutual friend (22f) to not bring her dog

quote:

So this girl (Y) and I live in a very small house. She has a small dog and two cats, I have no pets. She is very poor, and I offered to let her live at my fiance (26m) and I's house at a reduced rate so she could continue going to school. I also asked because my fiance was forced to delay moving in due to some family trouble in another state, and I needed someone to help pay rent. He is moving in in about 4 days, and I couldn't be happier, except for one thing: my roommate has quit speaking to me and is being extremely passive aggressive in everything she does, creating a lot of unnecessary and childish tension.

As to what happened: we have a mutual friend that comes over fairly often that Y is very, very close to. This friend - let's call her H - has a service dog for her anxiety that was not properly socialized when he was younger. He's also a BIG dog, and has some behavior issues. I respect the fact she needs him and haven't said anything...until last weekend, when he bit me hard after I reached over his head to grab something (drew blood, still horribly bruised). H was horrified, but Y seem to think I'd spooked him too much and additional training classes wouldn't be necessary. Anyway, to get to it, I very cautiously and politely asked H to not bring her dog to our house anymore, saying he was too big and I'm not totally comfortable with him being there. Secretly, I'm terrified the dog will attack or hurt my fiance, who really fears big dogs. H was extremely understanding, but Y was furious when she found out. She said I should have talked to her first and we should have voted on it as a household.

I'm not quite sure what to do, because she pays about a third of what I should be asking for her, and does not do any cleaning or maintenance around the house. I'm trying to make my fiance's move-in smooth, but Y won't talk to me and I don't want her to drag him into it. Right now I'm just ignoring her, but any advice on how to proceed?

TL;DR: roommate is mad because I asked a mutual friend of ours to not bring her unsocialized, very large dog to our small already crowded house when she visits after the dog bit me. I'm not sure how to move forward, especially with my fiance moving in in a few days.

# ¿ Sep 27, 2017 03:45

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

My (17F) brother (16M) dressed up as a murderer and 'fake' broke into the house to try and scare me as a prank. I was so scared that I threw a knife at him and it deeply cut his arm, then ran away and left him there. My parents and my brother want to kick me out over this. I feel horrible.

quote:

2 nights ago my brother dressed up in this dark black robe and had this horrifying mask on that made him look like the girl from the Grudge. He fake broke into the house by playing on the speaker a LOUD glass shattering noise, making me think the window had been broken, then he came at me like he was some kind of zombie demon thing, walking fast but with his back arched so it looked like he had a broken back

It was like all of the horror movies I had ever watched suddenly came back to me, I was SHRIEKING at the top of my lungs, it was actually so horrifying I right away went into a state of absolute panic. The thing was that I heard the window break, so I KNEW this was real, no loving prank involves breaking someones window. And when I saw that... I didn't think it was some guy in a mask, it looked so loving real, with the hair covering its face and this long stained black robe and the arched back and the robotic movements, it looked really scary. Anyways, I quickly grabbed a knife (I was sitting down eating dinner) that was right in front of me and threw it at him. It was a big knife, and I threw it hard. And then I ran away, but then I heard a very recognizable voice, it was my loving brother, going "ahhhh!!!". Except I thought I heard it from UPSTAIRS so instead of going to check on the demon in the living room I frantically ran upstairs thinking there was another demon upstairs that was going to attack my brother.

So I was crying yelling "DONNNN, DONNN?!?!? DONNNN!!??" in the upstairs hallway trying to find him. Then I heard him crying downstairs in pain and my heart just loving sank, the demon had gotten him, or it was using magic to mimic his voice to trick me. Yes, I was this loving delusional. I was so loving petrified I just put my back against the hallway and just cried, so horrified, my face must have looked like a good horror movie face. I could hear my brother say "Emmmmmmmaaaa!! emmmmmaaaa!! ahhhhh!" and all I could think for a solid 20 seconds was that it was a demon mimicking his voice, or murdering him. I had a full on panic attack, my arm and chest began to feel pained and numb which also got me terrified. I thought I was having a heart attack.

Anyways, I eventually went down and found my BROTHER IN THE COSTUME, bleeding out his shoulder with a big rear end gash.

I freaked out and just yelled I am so sorry I am sorry. He just kept cursing at me, it did look painful. I called 911 first, right away, then I called our parents who were away on vacation. I was in the hospital and my brother was in severe pain, but they treated the wound and did a minor surgery. My parents got back in an hour, and were so loving furious with me, I had never seen them that mad.

My parents right away assumed it was a fight between me and my brother, and that I threw a knife. When I explained what happened, my dad just yelled "thats loving bullshit emma, that IS loving BULLSHIT" and I just cried saying Im sorry im sorry blah blah.

My brother told my parents he was just playing a prank, and he said that I ran away and didnt come for 20 minutes while he was shouting in pain (it was actually more like 2 minutes that I was upstairs, but w/e) and I told him that is not true, and that I was scared and petrified. And my mom just flipped out on me saying "are you seriously loving arguing with him right now? Seriously?? I am loving disgusted with you!" and that truly shocked me because my mom almost always takes my side.

I tried explaining to my parents everything, and every little thing I said they just said "your a loving imbecile" or something along those lines. I am! I did act loving stupid. But I was also terrified for my life and they are not understanding this in the slightest. They asked why I was upstairs while I could hear my brother crying for me for 20 minutes and I told them it was actually just a minute, if even, and they snapped at me and my mom smacked me slightly, something she has NEVER done. They kept asking, pushing. and I just told them flat out... "it was because I thought whatever thing Don had dressed up as was mimicking his voice, and I was terrified to go down because it would trap me" and they just freaked the gently caress out.
My dad right away just got so mad at me, screaming bullshit at me, and then he said "you need to get the gently caress out, right now, get the gently caress out" and I left.

Im currently at my friends house, who WONT STOP LAUGHING AT ME but besides that, my parents are not being responsive now. my mom says she doesnt know what to do with me, and my dad says we need to start negotiating something, because me stabbing my brother is completely unacceptable and they cannot have that in the house. He mentioned me finding a place.

I dont know what to do, I am sorry that this is so drat long, and that it probably sounds ridiculous. What the gently caress do I do?

tl;dr: Parents want to kick me out because I threw a knife at my brother after he pranked me

i had people break into my house while i was home a few months ago and it was so loving scary and hosed me up for days after even though they were just normal looking people my age so i cannot imagine how terrifying this would have been

Metis of the Chat Thread fucked around with this message at 02:19 on Sep 28, 2017

# ¿ Sep 28, 2017 02:16

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

My contribution to service dog chat is that I live near a training facility for them, and sometimes when I go to the supermarket I see them being trained to use the escalator, and it's incredible.

This is barely relevant, but important to share.

# ¿ Sep 28, 2017 02:31

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

I [2M] was dumped on my birthday by [F27]

quote:

Edit: im 27 not 2

yet another person lying to cover up a disgusting age gap

# ¿ Sep 28, 2017 03:03

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 16, 2024 18:21

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

Khazar-khum posted:

Last night a little girl asked for his phone number.

God that is too cute for words!

# ¿ Sep 28, 2017 10:38

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›7 »