- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
can we also post from r/polyamory or is that shooting fish in a barrel?
It's too easy.
quote:So I'm pretty new to this, my husband and I have had lovers before, but these were really just sexy friends. Anyway, one of these sexy friends turned into a best friend, which turned into what is shaping up to be a polyrelationship. We're all really happy, he's living with us for a few weeks after his new soon to be roommates found bedbugs, there's even talks about the three of us potential moving in together for real (we're not there yet, but we've all sort of mentioned it).
Anyways, for the best poly moment ever: they were spooning me in bed the other night, with me in the middle, and I said "I love you guys" and they both said back at the same time "I love you too." It was just perfect. I didn't set out to be poly at all, but I'm really happy with my life and the two men in it! So yeah, gushing.
quote:I've been seeing "my boyfriend" for 4 months now. We're head over heels for each other and we've been dancing around saying "I love you". Recently I noticed some red flags and I decided that I would really go digging online to see if I could either reassure myself or find something to confirm my gut feeling.
Well, I found it. A blog post from his supposed "ex" girlfriend from last week talking about how great her boyfriend is. Complete with photos.
We're not supposed to see each other for a week. I don't want to confront him over the phone- I am so angry and I want to do this in person. I don't know what to do. I'm just absolutely gutted, oh my god.
|
#
¿
Sep 28, 2016 18:12
|
|
- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
|
|
|
#
¿
Apr 27, 2024 12:20
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
I never shave my body hair. What's wrong with my boyfriend?
quote:Long time lurker, first time poster. I'll try to keep this short! My boyfriend and I have been in a good relationship for about 8 months. Not perfect, of course, but definitely worth staying in.
The biggest issue I'm having with the relationship is that he really wants me to shave my body hair. I decided long before I met my boyfriend that shaving my body hair just really wasn't for me.
This is for three reasons:
*I have eczema, and shaving even with the most blades possible and with the nicest shaving cream, it still gives me flare ups. This is mostly an issue in my armpits, but it can happen on my legs too.
*While I like the feeling of smooth, freshly shaven legs (before the itchy, flaky eczema sets in), I don't really see how shaving benefits me in any meaningful way that warrants the amount of time and energy it requires.
I've told him these two things a few times, but he still brings it up. I do shave my legs for very special occasions, like a wedding. But generally I'll go months without shaving. I do maintenance "down there" as a courtesy for him, though.
The one reason I haven't told him about is that my first boyfriend about 5 years ago was basically OBSESSED with my leg hair. Any time I would get a little prickly he would make a big deal about it and not hang out with me until I shaved. It was an awful relationship in many ways but 16-year-old me thought that was normal and didn't have the self esteem to think she deserved any better. But now every time he says "you should shave" or texts me asking if I'd "be willing to shave soon" it gives me that same slimy feeling I got back then.
I don't tell that many people about that first relationship, and my boyfriends since then have not had issues (at least that they expressed to me) about my body hair.
It has almost gotten to the point of me just telling him that if body hair matters to him so much, he should find a girlfriend that wants to shave. I don't ask him to do anything to his appearance for me, so I don't really see it as fair that he expects me to put a lot of effort into my appearance. I've asked him if he'd shave his legs if it really mattered to me, but he has always just shrugged it off as a ridiculous idea. I don't understand why my saying no isn't the end of the conversation with this. Does he not think I'm serious or does he not care/think my reasons are valid?
I do like this relationship a lot, so I'd rather not end it over body hair. My question(s) is how do I (calmly) get across to him that I'm not going to start shaving my legs for him? Do I tell him about my first BF and how awful all that was? I have a habit of being argumentative so I'd appreciate any advice on how to keep the conversation calm.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 28, 2016 18:26
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
Can we focus on the freaks?
How's this?
quote:
i [19m] want to stop being thirsty and treat women better .
im about to 20 yrs old and i want to know how to stop being thirsty . my birthday is coming up and im about to be 20 im a virgin , i never had a girlfriend , and never had a kiss . its funny becasue im not the type of person to be in this position in life . girls the know these things ask me '' how are you still a virgin , how are you single ? , etc '' and it gets annoying really quick
im a honest person and what i really hate is when a family member or friends decide to run their mouth and let these thing slip . i have insecurity issues becasue of this and i feel like its posining my mindset and i feel like i just think of women as a sex object . its like im just finding women to have sex with me and i confuse myself on if i really even like them or not .
i had this one girl like like really bad for about 2 years and i question myself if i really like her or if i just like her because she is the only girl that i like that gives me attention . i trying to be more confident around women but when ever i get a girls number i always seem to lose their interest i dont know maybe im to passive . obviously i have to watch porn to get some sexual pleasure and i just feel ashamed that i have to do this and i feel like im turing into some creep like those guys . i have anxiety disorder and i start catastrophizing that im in this postion because im sercetly gay and my mind wont aceppt it or that things will be like this for my whole life , even with threpy and meds i feel like this is one of things that makes it go up {among other things of course} .
|
|
#
¿
Sep 28, 2016 19:57
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
He should just gently caress the tall woman and get it over with
I knew a couple were the husband was always accusing the wife of cheating while he was out of town for work. Eventually she said, "Well gently caress it. If I'm getting blamed for it I might as well do it."
|
|
#
¿
Sep 28, 2016 20:39
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
Woman in her 30s wants to date a 20-year-old virgin co-worker. What could go wrong?
quote:I (33F) am not usually one for looking into younger guys (all my boyfriends have either been older than me or the same age, except for one guy 2 years younger than me). But recently a new guy (20M) started at the office I work in as a content writer. He's young and pretty hot I have to admit. He has tattoos, wears a black leather jacket and seems pretty fit. But since he started he's caught the attention of a bunch of at least two other women. I'm pretty friendly so I said hi to him immediately and didn't think too much about it but the more I hang around him and talk to him the more I like him. This young man is completely not what I'd expect from a man of his appearance. He is fairly shy, sweet, really kind and intelligent and very approachable and respectful.
He's been catching compliments from a couple of my coworkers (and I have to admit, me) but either doesn't know how to respond or is oblivious. He more or less gravitates towards me. I'm not sure if it's because I'm just really friendly and upbeat or because he likes me but I'm taking it as a good sign and he's always asking me if he can help me out with stuff. Now he's so cute and sweet it'd be stupid to pass him out. But I've had my fair share of relationships and I know things can pretty complicated pretty fast. I've never heard of anyone with a 13 yr age difference who ever lasted though. I mean, when I was starting high school he was just being born.
Also, and I don't know this yet for sure, but judging by his response to physical contact he seems like he might be a virgin. And I myself am definitely no virgin. I've been in at least 6 or 7 relationships (and long-term benefits situations) before this and at least 2 or 3 other guys. And I don't know how to handle a guy who's pure and kind of naive about adult relationships. And again, I've never really heard of anyone lasting with their first. I know I didn't. He's cute and sweet but young and naive, is this worth pursuing? How should I go about this? How would I not scare him off and are young guys even interested in being with someone much older than them long term?
|
|
#
¿
Sep 28, 2016 20:52
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
quote:
Me [25 M] with my Chinese girlfriend [23 F] of two months, may be twisting Chinese culture to her advantage
Hey everyone, I don't know if this is the right place to post this but my Chinese girlfriend is giving me a really hard time with certain aspects of our relationship and is blaming it on Chinese Culture. I just wanted your input on this and wanted to know if she's twisting the culture to her advantage. Here are a few things:
1) She constantly accuses me of seeing other women and that I was being unfaithful with no proof whatsoever, so I get upset about it whenever she does it. She says that in her culture that the opposite should happen; I should feel important and loved after being accused of being unfaithful because that means she really cares about me being stolen away by other women and doesn't want to lose me. I've never heard of this in Chinese culture, can anyone confirm this? Am I being unreasonable for being upset by this?
2) She says I'm supposed to date her for at least a year or two before I can even consider being her boyfriend. We decided to be a couple after just two weeks here in the US and she now claims she is sacrificing so many Chinese values just to be in a relationship with me and is super stressed. Is this true? If so should I break off the relationship and just go back to dating?
3) In Chinese culture the man must pay for everything, otherwise it shows he does not love his girlfriend. Is this true? Do I have to become her personal bank? There's no way I can afford that.
So it looks like there's some serious cultural differences and if what she says is true then I'll need to compromise with her. What's the best way to go about doing so without offending her or her culture?
tl;dr: My girlfriend may be twisting Chinese culture to her advantage and need some input on what to do.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 29, 2016 15:37
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
The husband is a piece of work but why has she not realized that her "boyfriend" is just as horrible since he's agreeing to gently caress her on her wedding night.
Meanwhile...
quote:My husband is next to me sleeping as I type this. He doesn't know this but I went on his phone last night and found the Grindr app installed. He has a profile on there and he seems to be quite active. Never once has he told me he's bisexual or at all interested in men. The reason I went snooping on his phone is because he came home late and had no explanation for me other than he was caught up at work. What he doesn't know is that I went to his workplace to drop off dinner for him, but he wasn't in his office and when I asked his co-worker, they told me he had left hours ago. So I went home and I waited.
All the way until eleven o'clock at night. He entered the apartment, told me he was oh so busy at work, took a shower and then went to bed. I promptly went on his phone, found the app and spent an hour snooping through it.
I'm getting tested just in case.
I think I'm in shock, otherwise I'd have said something right away. I've been thinking long and hard about every moment we've spent together, whether there were any signs ... but I guess the signs weren't there because even he doesn't seem to know his sexual orientation. Going by his messages, he still doesn't know if he's Bi or gay. I know sexuality isn't black and white but the way he presented his sexuality to me was very black and white. Straight, cis gender. The latter holds true but he seems to be at least bicurious, which is fine, only he's going about his exploration the wrong way.
I wish he would have just talked to me. I'm not going to say I get what he's going through, but I do know, as his partner and friend, it's my job to support him through this, which I absolutely will.
I won't support his cheating, though. gently caress that.
Is it weird that I'm not even hurt by the cheating, I just feel bad that he's been going through this for possibly his entire life and he never once felt he could live his
truth openly?
I'm sure the sadness will kick in soon, for now I'm just shocked and worried and also kind of disappointed that he would turn to Grindr of all places.
So, yeah, this is your daily /r/relationships dose of "My husband likes it in the rear end and I had no idea!!!"
I'll talk to him tonight.
Gonna quickly add, I'm definitely divorcing him for this. I thought that was a given. I've taken screenshots, emailed my brother who is in family law and will point me in the right direction, and dusted the fingerprints on the candlestick in the conservatory. I'd say this case is cracked, I'm just venting because holy poo poo this sucks.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 29, 2016 16:34
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
My [15 M] Mom [36 F] is spending all of our money on her husband [36? M] who treats her like poo poo. We barely have any food, and we are moving out of our house for him
quote:I made a post about this a month ago that didn't get too much attention. The situation has since worsened, though, so I feel like I should post here again.
My mothers husband got out of prison about a month and a half ago. We'll call him rear end in a top hat. rear end in a top hat is a horrible, awful man who constantly cheats on my mother and lies to her. The reason he was in prison in the first place was because he was found in MY MOMS CAR doing crack. This rear end in a top hat was hiding drugs in my mothers loving car. He could have gotten HER arrested. But, of course, my mother fed into his bullshit and they stayed together.
Allow me to give you some examples of rear end in a top hat being an rear end in a top hat.
1) One day, when rear end in a top hat was supposed to pick up my mother from work, he showed up three hours late, making her sit in the heat the entire fuckng time. She later found porn on his phone, meaning he jerked it in the car, and probably did a bunch of other poo poo my mom just didn't find out about.
2)They are always fighting, they are NEVER happy. Their relationship is entirely one-sided and my mother is far too delusional to see that he doesn't even love her.
3) Just recently, my mother caught him cheating on her over the phone. She told him she was going to pack his poo poo up and get a divorce and blah blah blah but it never happened and he was back over the next day.
Now allow me to make a list of how rear end in a top hat is affecting our lives.
1) rear end in a top hat cannot live near parks due to a sexaul assault charge against a 17 year old. Apparently he was high and got caught jerking off to her through a window. Because we live next to a park, we now have to move out of our amazing house and live with my grandma, a small two bedroom house. GREAT!
2) rear end in a top hat currently lives in a "house" for people who don't have a home after they get out of prison. He lives about an hour and a hlaf away and my mother spends so much money driving back and forth with him and buying him poo poo that we have no loving food. The only time I eat is at school and whatever bullshit she makes for dinner since she stopped caring about us. Oh, and ramen loving noodles, because that's all we can afford.
Me and both of my sisters [17f, 14f] spoke up the other day and tried our best to convince her that this man is an awful person and that he's ruining our lives. Of course she didn't care what we had to say and what do you know, he's back over the next day!
My mother also seems to have stopped caring about us and she almost seems depressed. We used to talk a lot and be a family but now the only time we talk is when we say "bye" and the rest is silence. Honestly, I'm finding it hard to care about talking to her anyways recently, since she seems to care so much about rear end in a top hat over us anyway.
Honestly, reddit, I don't know what to do. I feel like I've done everything I could here. I basically have two options at this point:
1) Move to my fathers house. My father has 3 children [3M, 1M, 1F] and one step son [17M] all living in a three bedroom condo. If I did that, I would have to share a bedroom with my step brother who doesn't really like my company. Also, my sisters refuse to go with me so I would leave them with rear end in a top hat, which i really don't want to do. Plus I would have to transfer highschools for a 4rth time... which has already affected my grades and well-being enough.
2) Stay here and try my best to convince my mother to divorce rear end in a top hat. Which seems impossible at this point.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 30, 2016 14:42
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
The weed parents could learn a lot from this guy
quote:
Me [52M] as a single dad found out my [16F] daughter goes to Narcotics Anonymous Meetings
I am a single dad to 3 girls, 19F, 16F, and 14F. This is something I am not sure how to approach.
Some backstory : My ex-wife and I divorced in 2015. I am happy as a single dad and I love my daughters. I make enough money to support my daughters and then some, and try my best being a solo parent. My oldest is doing great in college, my 16 year old is successful and has a great portfolio to get into fashion school, and my youngest is a music prodigy.
My situation today concerns my 16 year old.
16F (we’ll refer to as E) is quite rebellious and spends a lot of time out of the house. She works full time pretty much, drives herself around and loves to travel. She funds her own travels so I am pretty lenient about it. There have been times in the past where she has gone across the country without telling me, but I would give her trust back. She’s really improved this year.
I have suspected she takes drugs a few times in the past, and even a couple weeks ago. I never had real proof besides a 2014 incident with weed, (my ex-wife and I bought a lot of tension into the house as we first separated, so I did not punish E severely. She was on lockdown for about 3 days).
A couple days ago my band and I rehearsed as we do multiple times a week. My bassist told me his son who’s been in and out of rehab for years has seen E at NA (narcotics anonymous) meetings everyday this week, last week, and a couple weeks before that! I found out from his son that E is very involved, contributes all the time, has a sponsor and is an awesome support to the group. The group meets 9-11, which is when E is at ‘work’. E would not go to NA to get attention or to fake an addiction.
I’ve been doing a lot of research about addiction and Narcotics Anonymous, and realized I missed a lot of the signs that E had a problem. I feel terrible about this and wish I was there more.
I’m happy for my daughter, but I’m very confused about how to approach this. I found from the internet that people usually do not get sponsors without being sober. I want my daughter to know I know, but how do I do it tactfully? I am not angry or upset with her, just confused, and I’d like to know how I can support her more as a father with a topic I am unfamiliar with. I feel awful that I missed the signs and potential cries for help.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 30, 2016 16:12
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
[21F] Green card marriage to [24M] - what could go wrong
quote: (Disclaimer: I am not super knowledgable on immigration procedures).
So my friend "Marco" [24M] and I met at our university. He graduated this past May and in August he moved across the country to find work. He was given a work visa but basically he has to find a job in his field in the next two months or else he will be here illegally. He is looking for work all over the country, but because his field involves a lot of government contracts, a good portion of jobs are only available to citizens or permanent residents.
He was telling me about this and said that he wished he could just get married and have an easy path to residence. He didn't ask me to marry him; I offered. Now we are making loose plans to get married in a month and a half unless he finds a job in his field by then.
Here is the problem: Marco has a crush on me and I don't feel the same way. I have made it clear that this will be a platonic marriage, no consummation, etc. but I'm worried he will still take our marriage as a sign that I am interested in developing the relationship. I really don't see myself falling in love with him... I suppose it's not out of the realm of possibility but I don't see it happening. Like I said, we are living apart, so I'd only see Marco a few times a year anyway.
Also I have another boy, John, that I went to university with that I am in love with. He graduated and moved away last year and we are not in a relationship, but we visit each other sometimes and have loose plans to move to the same city when I graduate next December. John and Marco don't know about each other... How could I ever tell John that I am married?
I know that what Marco and I are doing is defrauding the government but I really don't think we will be discovered. We have a lot of proof of friendship, I have visited his family in his home city (without him because he can't leave the US), and these kinds of marriages happen all the time so I just doubt that they will find anything relevant if they investigate us. I also know that we have to be married for a minimum of two years and I have to prove that I can financially support him. We're still hashing out the details.
Also I don't know if I should tell my parents? They would not be happy about this but it feels wrong to lie to them.
Thoughts? I know this is a sticky situation and carries some risks for me but I care about Marco and feel he will be an asset to the country and deserves to stay here. I feel like the legality of it comes secondary to the problems with my interpersonal relationships. Anyone have experience with this?
|
|
#
¿
Sep 30, 2016 20:32
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
This is a difficult question to ask because I (35m) may be the bad guy. But I am utterly not attracted to my wife (34f) of 10 years (19 years together) because of her weight and the attitude that got her there. Is it time to split the family?
quote:I will say this is a sensitive subject and I apologize in advance. I will also say that until about a year ago, I was a death til us part type of guy and I would have never considered leaving her for any reason.
As a couple, we have pretty much been inseparable since freshman year high school. The only time we were physically apart is when I attended the Naval Academy and she went to a state school, but we were always together as a couple. Things were more or less picture perfect until 2012 when we were hit with a double whammy of a year long deployment (I left active duty but stayed in the reserves) that was impossible to get out of, and my wife's dad died--though not unexpectedly, he was 93.
When I came back from the deployment it was plain to see that she had gained quite a bit of weight. But I was still very much attracted to her and we both chocked it up to stress from the deployment and her dad's death. She tried several iterations of dieting but her weight kept going up--but I have to say for almost 3 years I still found her very desirable. She was taking care of herself and as silly as it sounds her being "curvy" was very sexy.
But then somewhere about 18 months ago things started to not add up. She kept saying that even though had gotten heavy, she was "barely eating anything." I could tell from our credit card statements that this just wasn't true. It wasn't much (at the time--more on this in a minute) but a standard of $5ish at McDonalds and $6ish dollars at Starbucks every day. I could have the statements in front of me and she'd still say that she hadn't eating "anything" on that day and she couldn't explain her weight.
About this same time, she REALLY began to put on weight. Without knowing the actual numbers--she went from 220ish to well over 300lbs in a matter of months. She still claimed that she was eating nothing and made all manner of excuse. I then started to be worried about her health. And again, she blatantly lied to me as she kept saying her numbers were all perfect. Maybe three months ago, she left a vitals print out from her doctor on the counter and all of her numbers were off the charts. Blood pressure over 200 on the top number. Cholesterol numbers where in the stratosphere and there was a hand written note with a circle around a certain number that said "you ARE pre-diabetic- WE need to get this under control NOW."
I decided not to approach her figuring that the news of being pre-diabetic would almost certainly have her open up to me and I felt like I violated her privacy by looking at the sheet. She kept on insisting that she was barely eating and that she was in perfect health. After about a week, I couldn't stand it anymore and brought up what I had seen. She accused me of lying and of doctors hating fat people and not understanding weight gain.
This was about the exact time that I could not bear to physically intimate with her. This really hurt her feelings as she's always been a very sexual person (even in high school) but with the feelings of betrayal about the lying, her physical appearance and other physical attributes, I couldn't possibly be intimate with her. She then demanded that I get checked out and get a prescription for Levitra.
I tried to get her into therapy immediately after this but the second the therapist said that my wife's weight gain with no food would defy physics she was mentally done. When I was asked to provide proof of her eating I pulled up the credit card statements on my phone that showed almost every single day my wife stops at McDonalds and spends $5.93, $7.95 at Starbucks, $12.45 at Wendy's and then cycles through a local deli, Chinese food, pizza, etc... on about a five day a week cycle--she stormed out of the office and hasn't been back. This was about a month ago.
Since then we haven't virtually haven't spoken and she apparently only leaves the house to go on her food runs (same stuff, day in and day out). She missed the first day of school drop of for our kids and no longer walks to pick them up from the bus. She has more or less moved into the guest room and makes a big scene of moving from the couch to the guest room as soon as I walk in the door every evening. I can hear the TV on in there until late at night. About the only time I ever see her is when the wireless router will need a reset.
We have two kids and my daughter (8) is indifferent to her mother but my son (6) is scared to death that we are going to get divorced. Somewhere he got it in his head that divorce is absolutely the worst thing that can happen to him.
I don't want to get divorced either, I have been with her for 19 years and she really is all I know. The thought of the world without her is terrifying. But if we can't even communicate I don't know what other options I have.
Knowing as much of my story as you do, I would love thoughts and opinions. I want so bad to hear that things will get better but I don't think that's going to happen.
What are you getting at Wendy's that cost $12 when you only spend $6 at McDonald's ?
|
|
#
¿
Sep 30, 2016 20:45
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
My father-in-law recently got remarried to a woman from Australia and my wife had to write an essay about their relationship for the dept of immigration to read
These people could probably find someone to fake those essays, of course, which just means that when it eventually blows up in their faces even more people will be caught in the fallout
I married a Canadian (I'm American) in 2003 and we have to give them phone records, pictures, etc. to prove our relationship. A friend of mine did the opposite and had to have an interview with an agent before they got married.
I believe you're also responsible for them even if you divorce shortly after they get approved.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 30, 2016 20:49
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
We found a winner!!
Me [20 F] with my gently caress Buddy [30 M] of 1 and a half years, tells me I'm not hot
quote:So I have a gently caress buddy, he is the first person I ever slept with. I've slept with other guys since too, but all of them seemed more 'into me' or nicer to me than my gently caress buddy. Unfortunately I only ever enjoyed the sex with my gently caress buddy.
My gently caress buddy makes comments implying that attractiveness really matters to him, including that he only ever fucks young women under the age of 35, but if they're over the age of 35 they have to be hot enough to make up for being old. He's told me that some girls are good looking, hot and I'm just not hot or good looking.
He tells me he wants to have a threesome or wants a girl to watch us and that he wishes a hot girl would watch or join us. I feel like that makes me feel unappreciated, why would he want a hot girl to join in when he tells me I'm not hot? I asked why can't she be not hot, like you tell me I am? And he says that it's because it would "just be better if she was hot". Am I supposed to be offended by that? Is he trying to tell me he thinks I'm not good enough for him?
I've slept with guys who like worship me and tell me I am beautiful, stunning, hot etc before. Almost no other guy who has slept with me has told me that I'm not hot. Honestly it kind of makes me feel like poo poo to be told that other girls are hotter than me and I know I don't have to put up with it - plenty of hot young guys out there to call me gorgeous and love me.
Is this offensive and rude, or would other ladies be fine with a guy talking to her like that? I don't really like it and I think it's a bit disrespectful and upsetting, but maybe I'm wrong and some girls/guys think it's fine to be treated like that.
And then the comments...
quote:
Why would you put up with him making you feel like poo poo? This is an easy answer.
OP: Because I thought maybe the fact that I feel like poo poo is just subjective, maybe some women would just put up with it and not mind... like maybe some people would just think "Oh he's just being honest" or something idk
|
|
#
¿
Sep 30, 2016 20:52
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
Me [27 F] with my girlfriend [26 F] of 3 months, have recently become exclusive, I just realized she does not know I'm a girl
quote:Ugh. I can't even believe this is happening. Ok. So I'm a very masculine tomboy and the girl I have been seeing for 3 months is from a very conservative upbringing and household. I always thought she was super chill about things when she would mention how her parents are all blah blah blah Trump hate hate hate etc but she's dating me.
We haven't been sexual yet. I got out of an abusive relationship and she has very conservative values and I'm fine with this. Most we have done is make out after drinking wine. Last week she told me she loved me and I asked her to be my girlfriend, and she said yes. Now we're exclusive.
But we had a weird encounter with one of her friends who basically said "Your parents are cool with you dating areyoukiddingmwtf?" and my gf was like "Yeah why wouldn't they be?" and then a MILLION little confusing comments and mishaps suddenly made sense.
I look like a vaguely feminine boy. I am flat-chested and I have a unisex-level voice. I think this girl doesn't loving know I'm a girl too.
I don't have the first clue as to how to approach this. I don't want her to feel tricked. At the same time, I feel tricked! I feel like I was allowed to fall in love with this girl and now she's going to blow it all up when she finds out. What do I do?!?!
|
|
#
¿
Sep 30, 2016 22:50
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
Every time I think I'm wasting my time in graduate school training as a therapist I just look at this thread and smile thinking about job security.
Get ready to feel even better. https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/
|
|
#
¿
Oct 1, 2016 14:36
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
Religion, Irrational anger, treating people like possessions, this one has it all.
I (24m) found out my gf (24f) of one year had lied to me about being a virgin. We're both Catholic. She insulted me badly and I got angry. What should I do next?
quote:I'm 24, very religious catholic, never had sex or a girlfriend before, a virgin, and I believe in sex after marriage only.
I met my girlfriend through Church and mutual friends. We've been together 1 year. At the start I told her openly what I want in a relationship and my beliefs, she told me she agreed with me and shared my beliefs. She told me she'd never had sex before either.
A day ago, I told her how happy I was that I met someone who shared my beliefs and I'm glad we'd be sharing that spiritual bonding experience of sharing our love together physically for the first time.
She told me she had a confession to make. She admitted she had had sex before in a prior relationship, and that she had lied because she thought I would reject her otherwise, and she knew it was important to me so she said it to make me happy.
I told her it's okay, I know most people nowadays aren't virgins and its very abnormal for a woman to be a virgin at 24, probably only 1% of women are. I told her as long as she shared my views now and had repented for having fornication and was okay with waiting now until after marriage. I told her I was really hurt that she had lied to me just to placate my feelings, and I'd rather she be honest with me. I said I don't know what else she had lied about and it affected my trust, I need some time to think about it.
She got upset with me, and said "why do you even care about waiting till marriage or virginity, don't you want to test drive a car before you buy it".
I said those are my personal and religious views according to my religion and I thought we shared them, plus I'm not anti-sex I just think it should be something you only share with your love after you confirm your union in marriage, and I'm hurt that she'd shared something that is so special with someone who isn't me, I liked the thought of me having only had sex with her and her only with me.
She then got angry and said "you're just insecure cause you know how much you'll suck in bed so you don't want me to be able to tell you are poo poo in bed" and "I bet you just have a small penis and you're self conscious and don't want me to compare it to others or know that it's small".
At that point I got really really angry and flipped out. I pushed a chair over and told her to f*** off and go f*** herself and some other nasty swear words.
She got scared and cried and left, I was left in my anger and misery. I got a bunch of missed calls and apologies from her that night up to 1am, I didn't know what to do I didn't call back.
I'm still so upset and angry by how she treated me and insulted me, how first she lied to me to "spare" my feelings, then dismissed them when I tried to explain them, and then tried to insult my manhood and masculinity and turn me into the bad guy.
I know I can probably forgive her with time once I've cooled down, but I seriously doubt this relationship
If I had to sum it up in one statement, I'd say I feel she has no respect for me
What should I do?
|
|
#
¿
Oct 3, 2016 15:37
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
This is an odd one. Wonder what happened to the guy?
quote:So my boyfriend (29M) and I (28F) for the past couple months had been planning a big trip to South East Asia for my birthday. We've been trying to plan a trip for awhile (since we both have insanely different schedules) and were looking forward to the break and adventure. Shortly before we were supposed to leave he had a quick trip home (which he warned me about well in advanced) and the very last thing he said to me face-to-face was "Don't worry about trip, everything will work out, I promise."
While he was away we had been casually texting daily. About five days before we were supposed to leave I shoot him a text to try and meet up to discuss details - didn't hear anything back. The next day I try texting and ask if he's back in town yet. The day after I try calling (surprise he didn't pick up) and finally by the last day I realize my attempts to initiate contact are futile. By then my texts had ranged from "Hey, which suitcase should I start packing?" to "Hi, it's okay if you want to break up or just not go on this trip at all - but could you please just talk to me?"
I see on social media he's hanging out with bros down in his hometown. I stupidly even try to contact one bro to see if he was even aware we had this trip planned in the first place and if could get him to get in touch with me (obviously this didn't work, probably shouldn't have done that but I was panicking and in a lot of pain)
I end up scrambling around last minute to rearrange things to spend some time with old friends on the other side of the coast, which was very restorative. On my birthday he sent me a single text "Happy Birthday!" with the party horn emoji (an emoji for christ's sake) that's the only form of communication I've had from him apart from a couple arbitrary instagram likes.
Not that I support ghosting in most any situation, but we had been dating for a year and a half, I've met his family multiple times and have spent holidays with them. As with many serious relationships half of my belongings are at his place - which I so conveniently don't have keys to.
it's been about a month since this has all transpired and I'm still waiting to hear from him about when I can collect my belongings. I'm still very hurt and very confused and I realize I might never get an explanation for why he did what he did. It's really sad and lovely.
I'm also starting now to worry that he might never contact me to let me over to collect my stuff. He's the only person with a key in a high security apartment (with unfortunately no doorman I can sing my sob-story to) and he sublets so his name isn't even on the lease. Are there any legal actions I can take? I hope it doesn't go that far but I really want to start building my life back.
Also if he does try to initiate contact how do I communicate with someone who so blatantly just left everything? I feel such an urge to talk to him but I have absolutely nothing to say. How do you reason with yourself that someone you were so incredibly close to just left like "no big deal." It really hurts.
Thanks for any advice, it's much appreciated
My guess is his family doesn't approve of her?
|
|
#
¿
Oct 3, 2016 16:48
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
So are we doing a poop theme?
My[M25] Girlfriend [F26] wants me to let her look at my poop
quote:
We've been dating for a little under a year and things have been going pretty well. Not as great lately, but pretty well.
Some gross details ahead:
I was raised in a household where it wasn't considered normal to talk about what goes on in the bathroom unless there was an issue, like you were sick or something. My GF's family is a little more open about these things. I've only recently become comfortable farting around her, but I really really don't like talking about what I do on the toilet. I just don't see it as being any of her business. We don't live together, but we usually spend all weekend together and sleep over at one of our places. I usually try to refrain from pooping when we're together unless I know that I can shower afterwards. It's just more comfortable to me to let it all go when I get home on Monday. I guess that she's picked up on this, because she's made some comments recently, usually concerning the fact that I'm not comfortable with my body around her.
It kind of escalated this weekend. I had some uhh, digestive issues, and spent a longer time than usual on the toilet. I guess that she was concerned, because when I got out, she started asking me all sorts of questions about what went on in there. It isn't like I am 100% opposed to talking about what goes on, but I found it really intrusive to talk about what had just gone on in there and I told her to stop. She said that "we need to be able to talk about our bodies if we're going to be together" and said that my lack of trust and comfort were hurting our relationship. She also said that there was no way that she would let me have anal sex with her (which I want as both a giver and a receiver more than she does as either) if I couldn't talk about poop.
She came up with an idea which I loving hate. She originally wanted us to watch each other poop, but I was so adamantly opposed to that that she backed down to something else. After I go, I'm supposed to just leave it there without flushing and invite her in to look at it, and she's supposed to do the same for me. I'm not at all comfortable with this. Ok I get that maybe I'm a little bit too shy and maybe I'm wrong to be uncomfortable with natural body functions, but this seems really extreme and like a violation of my privacy. I don't want to look at her poo poo, and I don't see why she needs to look at mine.
Am I right to think that this is hosed up, or is she right to think that I have a problem that needs fixing? Most of all, how do I communicate to her that I recognize that she has valid points, but I think that her solutions are terrible and make me uncomfortable?
updates https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/2o32i5/update_mym25_girlfriend_f26_wants_me_to_let_her/
more updates https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3dn9od/update2_mym25_girlfriend_f26_wants_me_to_let_her/
Update highlights - He has to text her when he poops at home. They go camping/hiking and she yells at him if he looks away while she shits in the woods.
Bonzo fucked around with this message at 20:35 on Oct 4, 2016
|
|
#
¿
Oct 4, 2016 20:32
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
My [27M] first serious girlfriend [21F] is intersex and it's putting a massive strain on our relationship
quote:Brevity is not my strength, but I'll try to be succinct here. Long story short, I've always been a very shy and awkward guy and never had a non-online relationship before my current girlfriend. We've been dating for about seven months and for the most part, things have been great. However, the fact that my girlfriend is intersex has caused a lot of stress in our relationship.
After my girlfriend was born, her parents essentially chose the gender she'd be raised as. They chose wrong. They tried to her as a boy and as such, shortly after birth, she had surgery to remove her female genitalia, meaning that she can never have children. Forgive me if I'm explaining this poorly, as I'm not terribly familiar with the science of all of this, so I'm just doing the best I can.
This has given my girlfriend huge confidence issues to the point where she can't even watch TV shows or movies with any female sexuality in them because it will make her feel so bad about her, as she sees them, physical inadequacies. She has huge self-confidence issues and sometimes sees herself a hideous freak of nature who will never be loved.
We took the sexual side of our relationship slowly before she finally worked up the courage to allow me to touch her genitals. This went on a bit of a time, with both of us touching each other, until there was maybe a few weeks long period during which I didn't touch her. I didn't think much of it, but maybe it was just me being a selfish rear end in a top hat sexually or maybe it was me being my awkward self and just getting nervous about touching her. Whatever it was, she picked up on and started questioning why I don't touch her and I never really had any answer for her. This lead to a few fights between us, including ones when she would just repeatedly say to me that I should just leave her and find someone better.
I do love her. She understands me in ways that I never thought another person could. But she constantly says things like she always feels like she's not good enough for anyone, myself included. And I feel awful about that because I've just worsened that sentiment by not touching her, by just adding to the list of people and incidents that have her feel like she's a freak. And I never wanted that.
Over the past few weeks, I've tried touching her, but she's literally, physically stopped me from doing so. She thinks I must be doing it out pity, not because I truly want to. I want to make her happy. I wanted to make her feel loved and wanted, but sometimes it's so hard to do that because she so deeply believes that she doesn't deserve to be loved.
I do not want to leave her. At all. And if I ever did, I feel as though there's a not insignificant chance that she would kill herself. And I could never live with myself it that ever happened. I feel as though I've become her emotional crutch and I don't know if she could even function without me at this point. So I'm just really unsure what to do.
My girlfriend has anxiety issues, clinical depression and couple those with the self-image issues stemming her from being intersex, she is constantly so down on herself and I don't know how to make her see that she truly is beautiful. Sometimes I wonder if I'm even the right person to do that. Sometimes I wonder if I'm bad for her and I'm only making things worse for her by causing her even more pain.
Pardon me if I sound ignorant but how do you "remove female genitalia" from a baby? Was this kid born a hermaphrodite? I understand female circumcision but that's not done on babies or toddlers and cultures that practice this don't choose their child's gender.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 5, 2016 14:34
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
Every episode will end with Pete saying "Now that's an ultimatum!", then freeze frame winking at the camera as an eagle cry starts the credits rolling.
Stayed tuned for a new episode of Prep The Bull. Only on ABC's TGIF!
|
|
#
¿
Oct 5, 2016 18:39
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
Elaine: Oh yeah, Bonzo. I couldn't sleep around him either. He wouldn't stop honking the little bike horn.
I'll show you a "little bike horn"
|
|
#
¿
Oct 5, 2016 18:43
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
Me [38F] with my girlfriend [31F] of two years, how I get over being jealous of her hanging out with her ex-husband?
quote:I am looking for tips from the folks out there for coping with jealousy when your girlfriend is still friends with her ex-husband.
A little background: my girlfriend and I are both divorced. I keep in contact with my ex because we have two kids together. She doesn't have kids, but has maintained a friendship with her ex. This aspect of her life was made clear from the beginning, so I can't claim this to be something new. Though I, intellectually, can wrap my head around it, I've never been able to get rid of the jealousy I get when she talks to or hangs out with him. We've been together for two years and I thought it would fade, but it hasn't.
As an example: she's away on a business trip and hasn't been texting or communicating much. Yesterday, I pretty much didn't talk to her all day until she called at the end of the day. During this conversation, she casually mentioned talking to her ex about something-or-other prior in the day. I didn't say anything, but I became really jealous. Why had she talked to her ex that day and not me?
Another example: We spend the weekends, when I don't have the kids (which is every other weekend), together the whole weekend, usually at her house. The other weekend, she mentioned she wanted to see her ex for a bit and hang out, get some stuff fixed with her phone (he's a tech guy. I'm not.) It was clear, by default, I wouldn't be hanging out with them, so I made plans to head to my house for what I thought would be a couple hours. As I'm leaving, she says that she'll give me a call when he leaves, which she thinks will be around 6pm (it was noon then). My immediate thought was: who takes 6 hours to fix a phone? Rarely do I hang out with my friends for more than a couple hours, unless there's some specific event going on.
I think a lot of this jealousy is made worse by the fact that not only do they have a past, but the dynamics are different from her other friends. By that, I mean that, with her other friends, we all hang out together. I've met all her other friends. If she wants to hang out with them when I'm around, we all do something together. I've never met her ex and it's kind of expected that, when they hang out, it's just the two of them. I realize that this may be and probably is because it would be uncomfortable for us all to hang out, but it makes me uncomfortable regardless.
This sounds like a troll because the comments are full of the OP saying things like, "She locks her phone" and "She left him because she didn't love him" etc.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 6, 2016 18:47
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
Some people are just cowardly bitches when the adrenaline hits.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_u1cbZTwBx4&t=10s
|
|
#
¿
Oct 7, 2016 16:11
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
Me [25M] and my girlfriend [25F]. She wants to go back to having protected sex (after years of unprotected) because she has a new job where she'll be out of town 5 days a week.
is she doing porn?
Porn starts are tested all the time for STDs so its unlikely. But she's definitely planning on getting some strange on this job, whatever it is.
Years ago I casually dated a woman a few towns over and because of jobs, we only saw each other on weekends. It was just casual thing but she was hinting and getting serious. I ignored the hints because I knew that it would never work out and I was fine doing the FWB thing. She was on the pill so we didn't use condoms. I'm pretty sure she knew I was still playing the field and I suspect she was too because she started saying that due to antibiotics, we now had to use condoms. About a month later she broke it off via email saying she met someone else.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 10, 2016 15:20
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
I know a woman who found out that her husband was having an 8 month affair in the first year of their marriage. She just took him back and her FB posts make me wanna puke. God told her to take him back apparently.
Religion is denial's BFF.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 12, 2016 16:39
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
Visited a goon friend in the UK for 2 weeks, can confirm American accent is not a turn on.
Unless you got the southern thing going for you, but that's a fine line between "plantation gentleman" and "hick"
I wonder how the daughter feels about daddy chasing girls her age. It's one thing to randomly pick up a chick at a bar or whatever and find out she's way younger... but to actively go after one through a dating site, that's next level poo poo.
He was 18 when his daughter was born so I'm guessing he a "I get older, they stay the same age" kinda guy,
|
|
#
¿
Oct 14, 2016 18:24
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
How do people get into these horrible relationships and decide that kids are a good idea?
quote: Pregnant (f/29) and my boyfriend (m/27) and his family aren't compassionate to my morning sicknessRelationships
I'm 11 weeks pregnant and like the title says, my boyfriend takes my morning sickness personally. I am nauseous all day and have been so exhausted I sleep most of the time I'm not at work. I finally got a prescription for the nausea and while it takes the edge of, it makes me incredibly drowsy and I still feel sick. In the last week, my nausea/drowsiness has caused me to miss 2 of his dinners with his family. The first time he sent me a text while he was at dinner asking if I hated his family. The second time, his mom said she thinks I don't like her and I'm avoiding dinners because of her.
I have explained my sickness to my boyfriend and he lives with me so he sees me unable to eat or my face after I've thrown up. I told him it has nothing to do with them and I personally think it's pretty inconsiderate and lacking compassion to make my sickness about them. I want to feel well again! They think I'm exaggerating or being too weak that I'm letting it control my life but it really is in control of my life right now. I've had some complications already with this pregnancy and stressing about their feelings and opinions of me makes me feel even worse. What do I do?
tl;dr: Boyfriend and his family are making my morning sickness about them and think I'm using it as an excuse to not be around them. It's not about them, I am so sick and don't know what to say or do about that.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 17, 2016 15:25
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
quote:My [23M] girlfriend [22F] who I have dated for a year, has aggressive angry outbursts when something I do "triggers" her
So this started as soon as we started living together and tends to be worse during 'that time of the month' . We are avid online gamers so a lot of the time its due to her losing in a game and getting triggered when I say anything that might make her feel like losing was her fault. The nature of online gaming can be frustrating, I get it, but sometimes she will yell at the top of her lungs at me and throw things around the house. I have to physically restrain her so she doesnt break my stuff.
I've told her she needs therapy but says she will only go to couples counseling. I told her that its not my behavior that is the problem, and I dont think there is something I can do different that will help. Its not just gaming too, its also other random arguments that we have that can escalate, but gaming is the primary "trigger". The longer we've been together she has reduced the frequency of these outbursts but they seem to be getting worse. Seems like repressed emotions. Shes a wonderful girlfriend in almost every aspect besides this but after a particularly bad outburst today where she dented our wall, I dont know anymore.
Any advice as to what I can do would be appreciated.
Tl;dr girlfriend and I are gamers who play online games together and if she gets triggered she will become extremely angry with borderlime violent outbursts. What do I do?
Edit: She also had an outburst a while back when I won a card game. She barely lost to me but when I won she said "Alright no more blowjobs for you" and stormed out of the room in front of my friends. I have no idea why I stayed with her after that. Shes super immature and has no emotional control. Not to mention a sore loser at just about everything. I dont really have another easy living situation unfortunately so a break up will be hard on me but if she refuses therapy I probably will bite the bullet and leave her for my sanity.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 17, 2016 15:38
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
I hope this is fake.
quote: Thinking about leaving my SO (32m) of 19 years, because of his attraction to young girls. Advice needed.(32F)
Some backround: My SO and I have been together for 19yrs (since 12yrs old), and it has not been an easy ride. Multiple incidences of cheating that resulted in a child outside of our relationship. We have two children of our own (11f & 12m). Then after 10 years of fidelity, he request an open relationship due to the need to sleep with a skinny woman, because I'm obese. Which I understood logically, not emotionally. I have since lost 50 lbs, and continuing to move forward to a healthier self. But by this point in the relationship...I am broken. No self esteem, or self worth...
Over the years I've discovered my husband has a young girl fetish. I'm talking teenagers (younger end of the spectrum 13-15ish). Over the years I would discover porn he downloaded, usually pictures of very young girls..and each time I would delete what I felt was inappropriate, and talk to him about it. A few months ago, when I was auditing his porn..and discovered more inappropriate pictures, I immediately woke him up and stated I would divorce him if this continues. And it still has continued.
Here's my main issue. We have a daughter who is 11yrs old, but looks at least 14. Knowing my husbands fetish, I've always been concerned about him trying something with her. I've had separate conversations with my daughter about what to do if someone touches you inappropriately, and thought she would always come to me if something occurred. Well I was wrong...
This past weekend it came out that a good friend of ours (31m), had acted inappropriate with her, two weeks ago when he watched the kids for us. She didn't tell us, and when he came over this past weekend it all came out because she was acting weird and distant because he was there. I felt sick. If she would have told me, we could have went about this very differently, and made things better for her sake. I will be getting her into counseling.
There's so many things. We've been betrayed by a friend who we've known since 3rd grade, my daughter was violated..and I now more than ever don't trust my husband to not act in the same manner. For full disclosure..my husband has made comments about her body that made me feel uneasy. I'm just stuck and don't know how to proceed. I have no friends I can bounce off of, and this is not something easily spoken about with family. Any and all advice would be appreciated.
TLDR:My husband is attracted to younger (teenage) girls..we have a pre-teen who has been violated by a close friend. Considering leaving my husband because of his fetish/protection of my daughter Edit: to specify the teenagers ages my SO is attracted to
|
|
#
¿
Oct 17, 2016 18:57
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
Meanwhile in /r/askReddit
Redditors who still love your spouse but are no longer sexually attracted to them: how do you handle intimacy?
quote:(not me but) A friend of mine once told me that when he wanted to gently caress and his GF didn't, (which was most of the time), she would just read a book or watch netflix topless and he would sit there on the bed and jerk off to her tits...this has to be the most depressing relationship story I've ever heard IRL
quote:I jerk off to our wedding/honeymoon sex tapes.
quote:Moved in with my boyfriend of 5 years about a year ago. My sex drive is much higher than his so we rarely have a go at it. Once a week if that. He doesn't kiss me anymore which really bothers me as he used to all of the time. Not sure if that is normal. Also, he jerks it every morning by himself. I think he just might not be physically attracted to me anymore. It can be pretty painful sometimes. Like I physically feel my heart breaking.
quote:The guy I gently caress turns the lights off - fine with me, I'm confident as hell in the dark. I do the poo poo I want to do and he imagines someone else doing it - we both win.
Annnnnnd here we go.
quote:We don't. I'm 34 and we don't have sex any more. As far as the emotional intimacy goes, that stopped too. All our conversations are transactions regarding the maintenance of the household.
I'm still with her because we have a kid together. Our kid is 6 now. I've had sex with my wife maybe three times since we conceived our daughter. Before that, it happened like once every couple months, if that. When we were young, we humped like rabbits and it was awesome.
I've always been in the same decent physical shape. I pay all the bills. I'm not an rear end in a top hat or anything. I've spent years and years blaming myself, looking for some kind of inadequacy in what I am as a human being. In the end, there's nothing. Women at work have flirted with me. Some of them were beautiful and I would have dated them in a heartbeat. But I stay away out of loyalty for my daughter.
This is just the tip of the iceberg. I've listened to years of screaming, yelling, being told what trash I am despite everything I do, being told that nothing I do is ever good enough, etc. A few years ago I cut off all my friends because she threw a fit. My brother just died too, so I'm even more depressed about my life. I have nobody to talk to, so on occasion I get selfish and type out little rants like this online.
Sometimes I think about how badly I hosed up in my life just by making the decision to stay with her. Sometimes I think about how if she screams at me or tells me how worthless I am one more time, I'll jump off a building or something. In the end, I can't because I'm the only piece of normalcy in my daughter's life. I think my wife knows this, so she acts however she pleases even if it tears me up inside.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 18, 2016 14:19
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
From /r/personalfinance
I am 17 years old: my mother has 5 credit cards under my name and uses my name/SSN for her bills. How will this affect my future? What can I currently do as a minor?
quote:Hi,
So this all started a couple months ago.
The family switched to a new internet provider after moving. The first provider, Verizon, was in my mother's name. However, after switching providers and reading the very first bill from the second company, Frontier, I noticed that it was addressed to me. After confronting my mother (and calling her out on a lie or two), she finally admitted that she not only used my name, but my SSN and other personal information in the account.
So of course this got me a little suspicious, so I checked my credit score on that website creditkarma (lied about my birth year, but everything else was correct). The website gave me a report which stated that I had 5 credit cards, dating as far back as 2011, under my name along with a credit score of 648. After looking at the names/companies of the card, it is very clear to me that these are my mother's (I have seen them in person), and I have no doubt that this has been her doing.
I also know that years ago (when I was around 7-9 years old), a Verizon account for my family was under MY name and was closed during a bankruptcy in 2008. Not sure any of my other info was there. Not sure if this is important.
My main concern about handing this problem is that I am underage. My preference would be to handle this when I move out at 18 in order to prevent any retaliation from her, but I am scared that things like this are time-sensitive and I have to report this ASAP. Should I bring this problem up today or should I wait? I also would like to know how long it may take to fix this, and how it may affect me in 1-2 years when student loans come into play.
Thank you.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 19, 2016 14:55
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
wait, wait wait. I only did the FWB a few times but does 6 times over 5 years an accurate name for their relationship? The ones I had it was 5 or 6 times a month.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 19, 2016 21:14
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
I (21/F) got my period on my fwb's (22/M) bed HELP
quote:I'm hiding in the bathroom right now. He's asleep. We were having sex all weekend. The last time was kind of rough, so I guess he kick-started my cycle. I'm a week early. I woke up an hour ago due to cramps and as I got inside the bathroom I noticed there was blood on the back of my pyjamas. WHAT SHOULD I DO? I tiptoed inside the bedroom to check if I got any on his bed, and I did. It's not much, but I know he'll see it when he wakes up in the morning.
If he were a boyfriend, I would tell him no problem, but he's not. We have only been having sex for a couple of weeks, and before that we were casual friends.
I have to tell him soon. I can't just leave without saying anything. So what should I say? How should I say it? I'm usually pretty good about stuff like this and I usually have no shame when it comes to bodily functions but this is bad. I stained his white sheets. This is the first time one of us has slept over after sex. What do I do, reddit?
TL;DR - I got my period after a session of rough sex. It's on the sheets where I was sleeping. I'm in the bathroom freaking out. He's asleep. I know I have to tell him, but I don't know how. We haven't been sleeping together for very long.
(Update: He woke up all of a sudden, and I just told him. He was really cool about it! Thanks to everyone who left a comment.)
Is it me or does 21 seem a bit old to be this immature about periods? It's not like she poo poo the bed or something.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 31, 2016 19:51
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
My goal in life is to become wealthy enough where I do not need to do laundry.
How could you not post the content?
quote:TMI Warning
So. My future FIL. He lives in my home with me, my partner, and our child for a fraction of the cost of rent - he pays for cable -and he's a perfectly fine person in general. He spends the summer at his beach house and the wintry months at home with us.
Now, I struggle with severe PTSD and depression, so housework is a process, but I'm in weekly cognative therapy and on medication to help, and it has. I've gotten into a groove with housework and self-care and it's awesome.
But suddenly he's back and my progress is nothing. I graduated to having a side of the sink free and clear, with just a couple of dishes in the other side, but he comes home and talks about how he told a neighbor that I'm a poor housekeeper but a great cook! And then spread dishes into both sides of the sink, misplaced my drying towel, and left a bunch of condiments of the table.
Cool. Whatever. I'll discuss it in therapy.
But he's taken up doing my laundry again. I've told him not to.
I have several health conditions, one of which is fecal and urinary incontinence. The other, less serious issue, is the fact that I have a heavy menstrual cycle due to birth control, which is a new thing, so it's completely out of control and I'm struggling to manage it because I used to be a light bleeder. But whatever, that's what period panties are for, right?
He mentioned, in a laundromat, that he would never get my underwear clear of blood stains. I wanted to die. I'm really careful about my 'accidents', but I'm petrified now. When I have an 'accident' now, I just throw out my underwear instead of trying to clean them because I don't want it mentioned. It's already humiliating enough that I'm a 20 something who shits herself sometimes.
What do I do? I'm so embarrassed, stressed, and feel that my wants and needs are being completely ignored.
TL;DR: I don't want my FIL to do my laundry.
EDIT: Guise, I'm not asking him to leave because he does my laundry. There is no malicious intent behind his words, just a big mouth and a little bit of a shakey grasp on social etiquette concerning women and their bodily functions. He raised two boys, they can be very frank in terms of these things.
FFIL loves me, there is no question about that.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 31, 2016 20:10
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
Me [34M] with my fiancee [30F], been together 5 years, I am ungrateful, she is self-centered...how do we communicate better?
quote:I've been with my girlfriend for five and a half years, we're due to get married in November 2017. We've had our ups and downs, including a major one last year that nearly killed the relationship, but I think we came out stronger for it.
However one recurring problem is around communication. I'm a pretty independent person and tend not to get insecure or need reassurance from others. My girlfriend says she needs verbal affection and I'm cool with that. I try to tell her how much she means to me, how much I enjoy having her in my love, etc. Sometimes though I feel like this need is so all-consuming that it eliminates empathy, even to the point of having narcissistic traits.
This came up in a dramatic way last Friday. I had surgery under general anesthetic Friday morning and she came to visit me in the afternoon. At dinner time I suggested if she wanted I could ask the nurses to give her an extra portion and she accepted. When dinner came she moved the table to a position I couldn't reach (I can't sit down because of the surgery) and kept trying to fiddle with it. I asked her to just eat her food so that when she was finished I could eat mine and she got really angry. To be fair I probably sounded irritated when I said it - I was still groggy and I hadn't eaten for about 18 hours.
She said I wasn't appreciating everything she was doing for me and got really angry to the point where she stood up, raising her voice, face red and with tears in her eyes. I told her calm down and she told me I was in the wrong and needed to apologize and then thank her for all she was doing for me. To be clear, the extent of what she had done was bring me a change of clothes, which I thanked her for. It was a shared room and I both felt bad for the other people recovering from / going into the operating theatre and was embarrassed. When she was done with her food I said maybe it would be a good idea for her to take a walk while I eat to calm down and she refused. Because of where she sat (and refused to move) I wasn't able to get at the table to eat. I asked her to please leave and she refused again.
Eventually I asked a nurse if she wouldn't mind asking my visitor to leave while I ate dinner and she told the nurse she wouldn't move because she's "done nothing wrong - he should apologize". The nurse couldn't do anything without calling the police (which of course I didn't want...I just didn't want to argue while groggy, hungry and in pain) so they set me up in a waiting room and wouldn't tell her where it was.
This kind of thing happens pretty often. Today when she got home from work she immediately started arguing with me (I'm out of hospital but pretty much welded to the couch) because I didn't thank her for saying she'd get dinner. She didn't actually get dinner, just said she would if I wanted. Any time I want space she'll get angry and very often physically block me from going into another room, or stand in the way so I can't close a door.
All of the above is from my side. If she were to post she'd talk about how I never tell her what I want and that's what causes these arguments. The reality is I don't want anything in particular from here. On how she acts in these arguments she says it's because I'm not emotional and I always want everyone to be calm to the point of not really engaging.
I get that it takes two to tango. I try to make sure I thank her when she does something for me but for whatever reason I just can't get through. I'm just bad at, I guess, small-talk so when she says "I thought about doing xyz for you" I miss the cue and say something like "oh cool" or "that's nice" or "ok" which sets her off.
For info, we're already seeing a couple's therapist but I don't think this particular area is their forte...they mostly talk about our childhoods and honesty.
This guy is in total denial. His comments are "She always feels bad about it a few hours afterwards and says it wont happen again" and "...If we imagine this kind of thing happens at noon, by 3pm she'll be feeling bad about it and saying it won't happen again and by 5pm she won't want to think or talk about it anymore. If she knew I was seeking advice here she'd even get angry about that. When I suggested it before she said even with anonymity she considers it me publicly shaming her"
|
|
#
¿
Nov 1, 2016 14:40
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
I can't even imagine being married to a woman for 10 years who is upset by the suggestion of a handjob.
This but pretend she's saying "handjob"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyuoUwxCLMs
|
|
#
¿
Nov 7, 2016 15:23
|
|
- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
|
|
|
#
¿
Apr 27, 2024 12:20
|
|
- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
-
Just like Mama used to make it!
|
Me [54M] with my wife [53F] found our son [23M] in a sexual situation. My wife is furious
quote:A couple weeks ago my wife and I were out and about on a Saturday morning and we decided stop by and see our son at his apartment. He is a graduate student at a nearby University which is literally 20 minutes from our home.
We are free to walk in to his apartment if the door is unlocked, as he has told us. We arrived at a fairly early time (around 8am) and his car was at his apartment complex. We knocked, nobody answered so we just walked inside...noticing the door unlocked. Apparently he had forgotten to lock it. We thought we'd make sure everything was okay.
His bedroom door was half open and we pushed it further to see if he was in bed and that's when we saw him naked with two naked women. We were both shocked to say the least and surprised. My wife immediately wanted to leave as did I, since what we had just witnessed was clearly not intended and they were all asleep.
One girl we recognized as someone he went to high school with, the other wasn't familiar. My wife is very upset. We talked and even argued a bit about it on the way back home. We are a fairly religious family. We go to an evangelical church as does our son, albeit he with more college students where he goes to school.
My son has always been pretty serious about his faith as is my wife and our daughter. I have been somewhat less so...that's another story. We didn't think our son was a virgin as he had hinted that he had went pretty far with a couple of past women. He is not a player though. He is a well adjusted, smart, nice, warm young man. He has always been complimented for being very good looking and handsome which I'm sure hasn't deterred his interactions. But he has always otherwise been a lot choosier and less 'wild' historically.
My wife is threatening to cut him off. She is that furious. She has treated him coldly during the last week when we have spoken with him briefly. Here's the catch....we haven't told him what we saw yet.
He is wondering why my wife is so upset. I'm planning to have a talk with him this weekend when he stops by as he is scheduled to for lunch on Sunday. My wife has said she is not ready to address it. She thinks we should 'do something'. I have told her I don't know exactly what that would be and don't think it warrants any sort of action (Whatever that may be anyway). He is an adult. It was his apartment and we weren't meant to see it anyway.
My thoughts are a little different than my wife's. I am concerned that whatever he did he did it safely. There were a couple condom wrappers visible on the floor from what I thought I could see in the room. But in a way....I'm kind of happy for him secretly. I'm glad he is having some pleasurable experiences while he is young. I haven't admitted this to my wife yet and she would just balk at me and probably kick me to the couch for saying that anyway.
I do want to impress on him that if he is going to identify himself spiritually and religiously as he does, he needs to make a decision on where he stands and what type of behavior is appropriate for someone who professes faith as he does. I'm not going to judge or brow beat him at all. Just put it to him calmly and lovingly.
But, my wife's attitude is what's concerning me most. She doesn't want him to come over on Sunday...and is threatening to not speak to him on Thanksgiving. I got upset with her at this and we had another argument. I told her that was not necessary or appropriate. He is our son and still deserves our love. Approvingly or not from her no less.
I guess I'm just curious as to the thoughts on this sub and if anyone has had similar experiences like this.
tl;dr: My wife and I walked into our sons apartment and found him in bed with two women. It is surprising behavior from him as he is religious. My wife is very furious and threatening to cut him off.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 8, 2016 14:08
|
|
#
¿
Sep 28, 2016 18:12
when he cheated on #2 and married #3. Also no one in the family speaks to him anymore.
