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I've slowly but surely caught up with this thread. There seems to be a recurring theme here: The Something Awful Forums > Main > GBS: Girl Boss Sentral > Anonymous Confessions: You should probably get therapy.
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May 22, 2017 15:45
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| # ¿ Apr 28, 2024 00:04 |
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Virgoons. Keep trying. I'll try not to get all philosophical here, but if you don't keep trying that poo poo is never going to happen. I was with my ex for almost 9 years, we split and I was sad. Since I hadn't gotten any trim for like 1000 years before we got together I was worried that I'd remain celibate for pretty much the rest of my life after that. But I kept at it. Become a regular at a restaurant with pretty waitresses. Talk to them, be friendly with them. Just the fact that you're getting out there and keeping socialized will increase your chances. Don't expect that they'll jump in to bed with you, because you sit in their section all the time and leave a good tip, but you never know, they might find your neckbeard to be attractive. Even if they don't, talking to pretty girls, even if they're just asking you if you want baked or mashed potatoes as your side can help. A lot. The more outgoing ones will engage in a bit of small talk and that helps too. Barring that, join a club, sports league, gym whatever. The chances of someone walking up to you in the grocery store and giving you their number/asking for yours is pretty slim. Sitting in your house, hovel, squalor-den, rape dungeon isn't going to do poo poo either. Also, take care of your appearance. You don't need designer clothes, expensive cologne or any of that poo poo but a clean and tidy appearance helps. Clean under your fingernails, brush your teeth, make sure your hair is not sticking out everywhere. Take a trip to the barber shop and try a different hairstyle. While you're at it, clean up your house/hovel/squalor-den/rape dungeon. If you do manage to meet a girl (or guy) and bring them home, they'll probably run for the hills if they walk in to your place and see the pile of empty cheetos bags, mountain dew bottles, cum vases and taint boil residue everywhere. wesleywillis fucked around with this message at 21:15 on Jun 4, 2017 |
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Jun 4, 2017 21:09
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Doctor Malaver posted:Actually, it is. Well well well, look at you mr SEXHAVER!
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Jun 4, 2017 21:19
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Solice Kirsk posted:Working out and doing stuff for yourself goes a long way to fixing a lot of problems. Pretty much. Doing nothing isn't going to fix your problems.
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Jun 4, 2017 21:48
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I'm thirding, fourthing or whatever to boning therapist goon. Even if she says she can't have kids, wrap up, or at least pull out. Or get yourself cut. Seriously. I work with a guy who's girlfriend is kinda angry, and he was only staying with her because he said her box was tight as gently caress. She couldn't have kids either.......... Except that one time when she could.
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Jun 17, 2017 15:53
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Gynovore posted:I know I'm repeating myself, but; take it slow, and lick her like crazy. Stone bone..... Lol. Booze helps too. But know your limit. 5-7 beers works wonders for me. More than that and it lasts even longer, but sometimes at that point, it barely classifies as a boner.
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Jun 18, 2017 19:51
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limp_cheese posted:How do people drink that much, gently caress for that long, and not kill yourselves with how bad you have to pee? The one time I tried getting drunk and loving I finished as fast as I could so I could go piss. It was not a fun experience. You pee right before you bone. I'm not talking about lasting for hours here.
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Jun 18, 2017 21:51
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Bearded girlfriend goon. Don't offer your shaver, but there is other stuff like Nair, and Veet. Uncle dad goon, if your uncle dad was such a gently caress up, your mom would probably be embarrassed to talk about how he boned her, so don't press the issue.
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Jun 19, 2017 02:37
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Disappearing dad goon, if that story is really true, don't worry. He's probably just getting tossed in jail for a few years at a time. No biggie.
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Jun 27, 2017 14:32
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Anton Chigurh posted:" or they give them a relatively normal name, but spell it in a funny way. Like Jaycob instead of Jacob, or Emmalee instead of Emily. My cousin's bf is a tattoo artist. One of his customers named their daughter Emmalee. He sent the name to tattoo guy via text message, and apparently autocorrect changed it to Emily. Tattoo guy does his thing, and spells it Emily. Welp, turns out that wasn't the right spelling, wifey was pissed and dude wanted his money back. Until he saw his own text message that said "emily" not "Emmalee" Then realized it was kinda his gently caress up. When he told me that story, the first thing that came out of my mouth was "thats what they get for giving their kid a stupid fuckin spelling of a normal name". wesleywillis fucked around with this message at 12:36 on Jun 29, 2017 |
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Jun 29, 2017 12:33
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Swinger parent goon. If your parents were swingers, are you sure your "dad" is really your dad?
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Jun 30, 2017 03:16
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Theophany posted:I know it's a couple of pages back, but this evening I ordered KFC and generic fried chicken and the pressure fryer makes all the difference. Isn't pressure frying the same as broasting?
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Jul 1, 2017 23:59
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Fintilgin posted:Therapy goon should get couples therapy. Takes the focus off her feeling like she's being told she's crazy and let's you talk about the anger and jealousy issues in a structured way. If she agrees, you can also make the call, set it up, and make sure it happens. This is probably good advice. Definitely the last sentence is good advice. To make it easier to get her to agree, I also recommend that you sexytime the poo poo out of her. Just go to town licking that box and then gracefully insert your dong in there. Do it in the afternoon some weekend, and then maybe during dinner bring it up. If she starts screaming and trying to kill you, just tell her that you want to be with her forever, and thats why you just serviced the living poo poo out of her, to show that you care.
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Jul 2, 2017 02:23
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Jose posted:if i had silly money i'd def go to antarctica for a wank ITs probably been done. Go for the gold, hire an expensive hooker and get her to fist you, or get one that you can fist......... In Antarctica.
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Jul 3, 2017 15:26
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Panty friend goon, that guy just wants to find out if you swing that way. If you take him up on the offer, he might set things up for you to get your rear end kicked instead of suck dicked.
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Jul 6, 2017 21:56
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Questioning buttsex goon: If done properly, butt sex is great for all concerned. Try that poo poo out.
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Jul 11, 2017 03:02
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Yeah, it has been a while since we got an update from therapy goon. My guess is that they took a trip to Amsterdam and he happened to face in the direction of the redlight district and she grabbed a bike out from under someone riding by and beat him to death with it.
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Jul 20, 2017 03:28
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loquacius posted:this one is basically just "would the thread discuss graverobbing, please" I seem to recall several years ago, on some "weird news" type site, some guys digging up the grave of a recently dead hot chick to bone her corpse. So..... Maybe this dude wants to bone dead hot chicks? :vomit: Might as well get a job in a morgue.
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Jul 31, 2017 04:07
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Cremated, and have my ashes mixed with shot, and loaded in to shotgun shells. My homies can have a memorial shoot with my ashes. Anyone who shoots a perfect round gets a case of beer or something.
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Aug 1, 2017 22:22
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Zzulu posted:Bats cant lift people How many bats? I took the privilege test. 160.
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Aug 10, 2017 11:26
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Solice Kirsk posted:I'm assuming he is. Either that or married. My guess is that she caught him either reading his fesh on here, or emailing an update. Either way, his remains won't be found.
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Aug 10, 2017 22:18
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Jesus piss goon, get a fuckin mason jar or something.
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Aug 15, 2017 18:51
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Any feshes you rejected as being to outrageous or whatever? Did they get deleted? We need to keep this going for a bit to see if Therapy goon is still breathing.
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Aug 23, 2017 11:46
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sneakyfrog posted:tried this. did not work well. You probably had whiskey dick.
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Sep 6, 2017 21:08
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Just think about her while you jerk off. Or while you bone your wife.
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Sep 7, 2017 11:44
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Yeah, thats pretty much what scantron (I always called it skank-tron) is. Had the same thing in College too. One bad English grade probably wouldn't gently caress up someone's life. Especially if its grade 9 or ten. Guy is still a jerk though. I don't know about elsewhere, but where I'm from even the biggest universities don't give a gently caress that you failed grade 9, or 10, or 11 English/math/basket weaving/whatever. Unless you're competing for an academic scholarship with a bunch of other people they only care about grade 12.
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Sep 9, 2017 01:24
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Well, wiping your rear end with pussy juice is probably better than wiping your pussy with rear end juice.
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Sep 9, 2017 16:55
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Theophany posted:Uh huh, so these tubs... Where could somebody procure them, if they were so inclined? I have one in my bathroom. Yeah, I'm in to kinky poo poo and piss sex too.
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Sep 13, 2017 17:21
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Theophany posted:Same, but that just doesn't seem like it would be comfortable and you've still got the rigmarole of scooping pieces of poo poo out of the drain. I would've thought putting down a tarp or something would be the way forward. Well well well, look at you mr fancy pants "i've never poo poo myself in the shower"!! areyoucontagious posted:Just lol if you don't have a special prison shower with drains and beds and stuff built into your bedroom for your scat play You think that everyone is a shittypiss sex millionaire?
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Sep 14, 2017 00:56
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Danaru posted:Are we talking masked assailant like, balaclava wearing house invader, or a Jason Voorhees/Michael Myers thing? Because if it's the former, that's not nearly halloween enough, and if it's the latter, slasher killers wouldn't be killed by a simple fall down some stairs Maybe they're going to pretend she's pregnant and they're going to
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Sep 14, 2017 00:57
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I'm not trying to kink shame but come on, do it right or don't bother.
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I once peed out of my second storey bedroom window at night, because it I was too lazy to walk down the hall to the can. It was way more work than actually walking down the hall. Not to mention a hell of a lot more dangerous.
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Sep 17, 2017 04:16
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I just took a leak and a mosquito flew out from under the rim. Had I sat down my poo poo woulda' got bit. Instead, I tried to hit it with my stream. Almost got it twice before it flew out of range.
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Sep 17, 2017 22:21
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quote:I have a thing, I don't know if I'd quite call it a fetish, with popping pimples. Those youtubes where they drain cysts or medically remove blackheads etc don't really do it for me, it has to be my own and it has to pop, not drain. If I'm not going to be out in public for a day or two like on the weekends I'll even rub oil (sometimes even pizza grease once it cools down) on my face to accelerate it. Alcohol also helps, like if you drink heavily for a few days and then stop, I break out pretty hard. You ever vacuum one off your taint? You'd probably jizz all over the place.
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Sep 21, 2017 21:30
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Dog poo poo goon, is your name Kirk Johnson?
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Sep 24, 2017 21:42
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For whatever its worth, I seem to recall in the old IT "movie", or miniseries whatever, the guy who was the author, mentioned something about movie companies butchering his books in to movies. Stand By Me was good, Shawshank redemption was good, Apt pupil not so good......
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Sep 30, 2017 04:30
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Maybe midlife crisis sister goon lives in a second world country.
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Oct 15, 2017 22:03
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LingcodKilla posted:What if he recorded you from under the rim of the toilet without your consent or knowledge? Hey, if the guy doesn't post it online, and just used it for his own personal jerkoff stuff, then who cares? Nobody gets hurt right? Just ask Voyeur goon from a few pages back. Worked to the bone goon: Yeah, quit that poo poo. I took a pay cut to come to my current job, mind you that was like 13 years ago, I was early 20s and had little experience in my field, and hated the job I was at. Still worked out for the best. There IS a better job out there for you. Just keep up with sending out resumes. If you're too tired during the week, send like 10 every weekend.
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Oct 21, 2017 18:55
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Fahrenheit Starts with an F for freedom. Celsius starts with a C for COMMUNISM!! End of argument.
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Oct 26, 2017 17:16
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limp_cheese posted:
Does anybody really know what time it is? Metric sucks. Or imperial sucks, whatever. Loquacious, please repost puppet master goon's confession that he said was ignored, that way we can lift the derail curse that is plaguing this thread. We beg of you.
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Oct 28, 2017 16:37
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What even IS time man?
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| # ¿ Apr 28, 2024 00:04 |
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Harley quinn goon posted:
There is nothing wrong with being gay, but dude, that poo poo is totally gay.
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Nov 5, 2017 21:47
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