Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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Robot Made of Meat

cda posted:

"Ok, who took a poo poo right here, in the middle of Disneyworld?"

Bob Iger: "Dammit! I KNEW Till Eulenspiegel's Wild Ride was a bad idea."

Robot Made of Meat fucked around with this message at 02:30 on Apr 20, 2017

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# ¿ Apr 20, 2017 02:26

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 06:54

Robot Made of Meat

gently caress My rear end posted:

a pair of pants that has easy access heated spaghetti pockets

This may well violate the patent for Hulk Hogan Meat Shoes.

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# ¿ Apr 20, 2017 03:38

Robot Made of Meat

slowm posted:

What is your favorite item on the menu?

Butt steak.

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# ¿ Apr 30, 2017 18:14

Robot Made of Meat

The Lucyderata.

Robot Made of Meat fucked around with this message at 03:23 on Jul 6, 2017

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# ¿ Jul 6, 2017 02:44

Robot Made of Meat

Petr posted:

how many transmutation mages does it take to change a light bulb

How long do I have to wait for this image of a light bulb to screw itself in?

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# ¿ Aug 7, 2017 04:02

Robot Made of Meat

AverySpecialfriend posted:

brian emo pioneers a new genre but his mom doesnt understand that its NOT just a phase

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# ¿ Aug 11, 2017 00:10

Robot Made of Meat

FactsAreUseless posted:

Warm Jets, Tiger Mountain, Green World, and Before Science are all great albums

I often listen to AGW when I'm feeling nice and mellow.

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# ¿ Aug 14, 2017 01:43

Robot Made of Meat

Starman Super DX posted:

I'm not too good at song parodies but I do love trying to sharpen my skills here at the yob

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# ¿ Sep 11, 2017 23:20

Robot Made of Meat

canyoneer posted:

i'm desperate for a men's room but the first two restaurants on this pier that I tried only had bathrooms for "buoys" or "gulls"

IRL, I was once in a restaurant that had restrooms labeled, "Kings" and "Queens." As a gay man, I was momentarily put off.

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# ¿ Sep 17, 2017 01:42

Robot Made of Meat

FutonForensic posted:

i'm going to lay you down on a bed of chocolate chips and make semisweet love to you

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# ¿ Oct 8, 2017 02:20

Robot Made of Meat

deep dish peat moss posted:

A Game Show in Hell run by the Devil called "Wheel of Torture". It's hosted by Pat Sajak and Vanna White who treat it exactly like an everyday mundane episode of Wheel of Fortune, even the set is the same and they're spinning the same big wheel, but the prize is getting tortured.

It's hard to believe that article was 12 years ago.

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# ¿ Oct 9, 2017 15:49

Robot Made of Meat

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

Self-inflicted Disasters

Built glass mansion ~~and rented it to porn filmers (the weird kind)~~ next to rock-throwing test facility

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# ¿ Oct 10, 2017 00:21

Robot Made of Meat

Twenty Four posted:

Do you know the thread URL? Sounds like it would make for some cool pictures and an at least somewhat interesting story.

Like how do you come across that? And what do you do with it? The answers are probably "bought it at an auction" and "put it in my garage" but hey who knows?

I don't have search, but I think it was in GBS.

And pretty much yeah, those are the answers. It was a show I'd never heard of, and the set involved a lot of proprietary electronics.

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# ¿ Oct 11, 2017 13:50

Robot Made of Meat

Jolo posted:

'My very eager mother just served us noodles'

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# ¿ Oct 25, 2017 01:31

Robot Made of Meat

gleebster posted:

Lucrezia Cyborgia.

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# ¿ Nov 4, 2017 18:54

Robot Made of Meat

Manifisto posted:

have you ever had tuscan bread? there is a style there made without salt. it is almost literally tasteless, just a textured thing to put in your mouth to deliver whatever toppings/sauces it accompanies.

it is weird.

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

I wonder if I can offer a pure yelling service without muddling the experience with food. You give me money, I say unforgivable things at you, and you get on with your day.

You most definitely can. Whether you can profit is another question.

I recommend https://www.fiverr.com as a platform!

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# ¿ Jan 10, 2018 04:05

Robot Made of Meat

Kthulhu5000 posted:

Men At Work - Down Under, ya mean?

To be fair, Men at Work seldom wore hats.

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# ¿ Jan 13, 2018 00:15

Robot Made of Meat

Splatmaster posted:

A garden that displays statues with no arms, legs, or head- Thoracic Park

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# ¿ Feb 25, 2018 02:56

Robot Made of Meat

A movie where the well-meaning leading man spends the whole film trying to save the heroine, but at the end it turns out that he ensured the timely delivery of a shipment of heroin.

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# ¿ Feb 26, 2018 17:16

Robot Made of Meat

mysterious frankie posted:

IDEA FOR A NEW YORKER COMIC

*two apricots sitting in a dehydrator. one is speaking to the other*

"...well, yeah, but it's a dry heat."

This is a mildly amusing, possibly risible image.

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# ¿ Mar 9, 2018 23:08

Robot Made of Meat

ghost emoji posted:

surreal estate agent

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# ¿ Mar 17, 2018 19:57

Robot Made of Meat

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

"By the end I was pulling plots out of my rear end."

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# ¿ Aug 14, 2018 16:51

Robot Made of Meat

FactsAreUseless posted:

At the doctor:

Knock knock

Who's there?

Orange

Orange who?

Orange you glad you don't have colon cancer?

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# ¿ Sep 7, 2018 14:24

Robot Made of Meat

An iPhone case that makes it look like a Motorola flip-phone.

That way you can give someone a Razr with an Apple in it.

Robot Made of Meat fucked around with this message at 22:21 on Oct 9, 2018

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# ¿ Oct 9, 2018 22:18

Robot Made of Meat

FactsAreUseless posted:

An erotic fanfic where Richard Nixon gets a bukkake titled Frost Nixon.

Umm, excuse me but I believe you will find, if you check, that Frost/Nixon is actually slashfic. After all, the slash (solidus) is clearly evident in the title.

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# ¿ Nov 15, 2018 03:06

Robot Made of Meat

Incontinental breakfast.

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# ¿ Jan 3, 2019 03:29

Robot Made of Meat

Kontradaz posted:

Nazis but instead its mozarella cheese so mozi

white (cheese) supremecists.

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# ¿ Feb 14, 2019 03:07

Robot Made of Meat

Cartesian Well Water.

Too disturbing to drink if there is any.

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# ¿ May 4, 2019 04:20

Robot Made of Meat

Twenty Four posted:

balls

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# ¿ Jul 19, 2019 01:04

Robot Made of Meat

I have seen the Fnords.

And given my choice, I'd probably get a Fnusion.

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# ¿ Sep 12, 2019 02:11

Robot Made of Meat

The X-man cometh posted:

Tim Hortons and Culver's sometimes give you treats for your pets (plain timbits or vanilla ice cream) in the drive-thru. It's pretty nice.

My credit union does this also. Cosmo approves!

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# ¿ Apr 18, 2020 03:01

Robot Made of Meat

google THIS posted:

"I don't have any daisies," Tom said lackadaisically.

We need a Tom Swiftie thread, said Robot Made of Meat, . . . umm. Tom Swiftlessly?

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# ¿ May 18, 2020 01:52

Robot Made of Meat

Gene Hackman Fan posted:

eh, nevermind. if you'll excuse me I'll go post in another thread.

Dammit! And this one was headed to the Goldmine.

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# ¿ Jun 7, 2020 02:39

Robot Made of Meat

Impersonal lubricants.

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# ¿ Jun 9, 2020 04:43

Robot Made of Meat

Nosfereefer posted:

porn star named "atilla the hung"

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# ¿ Jun 18, 2020 00:26

Robot Made of Meat

magic cactus posted:

humble internet journalist who moved to the big city to pursue his dream career as a listicle writer sending all his likes back home to his ma and pa.

Dear folks at home,

Doctors HATE me!

Love, HIJ.

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# ¿ Jul 16, 2020 03:37

Robot Made of Meat

Catholic churches augmenting income by installing snack bars called, "The Concessional."

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# ¿ Aug 5, 2020 03:30

Robot Made of Meat

canyoneer posted:

dogs graduating obedience school with their tongues hanging out at the end of the ceremony being instructed to switch their tongues to the other side of their mouths

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# ¿ Nov 2, 2020 02:32

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 06:54

Robot Made of Meat

Nosfereefer posted:

the deal with air plane food is both that your taste buds will react differently at 10k feet above sea levels due to air pressure

You're channeling Joke Explainer, aren't you?

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# ¿ Nov 14, 2020 07:03

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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