Law Megathread: the stunner off the top rope that everyone but the defense saw coming

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Law Megathread: the stunner off the top rope that everyone but the defense saw coming

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Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

Put back in the "do not go to law school, there are no jobs, you will die alone" sparklies.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2018 00:07

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 11:20

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

If you want, I'm a white noise posting patent dork on the west coast working in house for big tech.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2018 03:19

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

Phil Moscowitz posted:

Just like patent lawyers.

This but not sarcastically.

# ¿ Aug 10, 2018 03:49

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3845966

The op of this thread has a lot of good questions I've used before (though slightly modified to be more relevant to the legal profession and not in an OCI context).

E: Another good (lazy) question is something like "what distinguishes a great candidate from a good candidate" and then you can go into how you have whatever traits the interviewer says.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2018 21:04

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

Adar posted:

this is your once in a lifetime chance to get paid to draft a motion compelling the ghosts to appear

It will probably be dismissed for service failure but that's the point isn't it.

# ¿ Aug 21, 2018 03:39

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

I thought wins like this were they only way you litigators got hard in the first place.

# ¿ Aug 23, 2018 02:04

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

I sit with the entire trademarks team at my company. Their clients are so dumb. They will never be unemployed.

# ¿ Aug 26, 2018 04:31

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

Vox Nihili posted:

In 10 years GET MONEY will be here on the SomethingAwful VR forums (presented by Amazon Web Services) telling new hopefuls (outside the US, of course) about how he was totally on the fast track to partner until Trump outlawed the practice of law in 2025.

Most of us will be dead by that point, of course.

Lol like lowtax is ever going to update the forums.

# ¿ Aug 28, 2018 03:03

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

Phil Moscowitz posted:

Let�s talk about the death penalty. I think under very strict circumstances, certain offenders can morally be executed by the state.

Agreed. Eat the rich.

# ¿ Sep 6, 2018 22:05

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

Kawasaki Nun posted:

Late to a session? That's a paddlin'
Missing your catsuit? That's a paddlin'
Refuse to clean your dom's boots with your tongue? Best believe that's a paddlin'

Maybe they forgot to do all those things cause they wanted to be paddled. Maybe the better punishment is to send them home.

# ¿ Sep 12, 2018 02:42

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

The problem is people capable of being real CEO's - even those with law backgrounds - can make way more money elsewhere. Also, most ethics rules require top dog at law firms to be a lawyer.

# ¿ Sep 15, 2018 03:22

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

Vox Nihili posted:

Heck maybe don't even commit any adultery at all, if you can manage it.

Get with the times, relationship anarchy is the new it.

# ¿ Sep 26, 2018 03:03

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

interviewer: where do you see yourself in five years
me: my biggest weakness is not listening

# ¿ Sep 26, 2018 14:49

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

gently caress I just realized I /almost/ won an award named after avanetti in law school. A good friend won it instead. =(

# ¿ Sep 27, 2018 05:55

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

Vox Nihili posted:

Congrats to your friend for landing the Michael J. Avenatti Award for Excellence in Pre-Trial and Trial Advocacy

Right? It's literally the person in the graduating class with the highest grades in those two classes. I even convinced them to take pre-trial ad.

# ¿ Sep 27, 2018 16:52

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

This thread is full of stories of complaints against public defenders who couldn't keep their clients out of prison, you think a crazy guy won't file one against a guy who got him incarcerated?

# ¿ Oct 3, 2018 16:14

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

Sorry guys, I was being a little hyperbolic in that post :sweatdrop:

. Didn't mean for it to be taken seriously.

I'll go back to being a patent nerd.

# ¿ Oct 4, 2018 02:50

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

Phil Moscowitz posted:

A bunch of house parties of which I can remember maybe three, and I couldn't possibly tell you everyone that was there or whose house it was.

What's it like being a rapist nominated to the supreme court?????

# ¿ Oct 5, 2018 18:34

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

Soothing Vapors posted:

the cold keeps scorpions, brown recluses, and hideous terrifying man-sized spiders at bay

it's a reasonable trade

lol

Just move to new zealand and have the best of both worlds.

# ¿ Oct 12, 2018 19:55

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

Florida had to limit reciprocity because every partner from the north east and midwest retiring there wanted to set up their own residual income shingle and it made it so young lawyers couldn't get work.

# ¿ Oct 15, 2018 04:44

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

Look at mr. smarty pants with the 300 iq over here.

If you�re so smart, why did you go to law school?

(Good luck)

# ¿ Oct 18, 2018 19:05

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

Vote of no confidence from parliament also triggers , and I think certain must pass bills failing to pass (budget?) may also trigger an election.

# ¿ Oct 22, 2018 15:50

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

evilweasel posted:

i thought the UK passed some law to make it harder to force new elections

It�s very possible I was confusing U.K. and Canada.

# ¿ Oct 22, 2018 19:47

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

My main problem was when the climax of the movie rendered the entire Star Wars universe inconsistent because being able to hyperspace ram something means that no space ship larger than a personelle transport would ever be constructed.

Why go through all the bullshit with the death star secret plans? Just ram it with a big loving drone.

# ¿ Oct 22, 2018 23:20

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

SlyFrog posted:

Frodo rides the eagles. Come on man. If Sam can carry that sniveling little bitch wearing the ring, than the eagles can give him a half hour ride to the volcano.

EDIT: Also, we know the eagles can beat the poo poo out of the Nazgul (while singing a mean multipart harmony), so don't even go there.

That was gandalf's original plan. It's why he wanted to go north through the misty mountains, and then just before they got separated in the mines yelled "fly you fools".

# ¿ Oct 23, 2018 17:12

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

You forget Rogue 1 and Solo. There are 10.

But yea, I'm really sad they've gotten rid of the EU. A lot of it was bad, but there was plenty that was really good, especially the Zahn Trilogy.

# ¿ Oct 24, 2018 17:19

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

Lots of in house firms have a bonus structure that mostly depends on how well the company is doing and secondarily based on performance.

# ¿ Oct 25, 2018 19:06

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

In unrelated in house news, I spent today teaching a beginner�s thriller to the rest of the group here in preparation for our ultra competitive Halloween contest.

I�m also underpaid... though the above isn�t why.

# ¿ Oct 25, 2018 22:16

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

# ¿ Oct 29, 2018 21:08

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

CaptainScraps posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtt4u3WnTCY

ulmont posted:

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend has come up with the thread's theme song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xs-UEqJ85KE

Guys, please stop doxxing me.

# ¿ Oct 29, 2018 22:58

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

Who was the person running the legal writing class, I feel like this would be a good exercise for them.

# ¿ Oct 30, 2018 03:25

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

I feel like the most common violation of appliance policies is space warmers.

# ¿ Nov 1, 2018 04:00

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

evilweasel posted:

that's nice, i'm in a course to become a certified nfl quarterback

Speaking of useful job skills, I can now add choreography and dance instruction to my resume right next to team building, event planning, and voice acting.

These are all things I have been paid to do as an in house counsel.

# ¿ Nov 1, 2018 22:23

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

nm posted:

I'm hoping for some more legal questions drama.
We still can't breath here, which is getting really old. Otoh, I got a new laptop, so I'm playing all the games my 2011 thinkpad wouldn't run.

Currently fleeing to Miami for thanksgiving. Timing is a coincidence but I�m not going to complain.

E: the woman at the airport next to me commented that her club sandwich without the bread wasn�t really a sandwich. I managed to restrain myself from arguing.

Meatbag Esq. fucked around with this message at 20:32 on Nov 18, 2018

# ¿ Nov 18, 2018 20:24

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

Other states where marijuana became legal medicinally before recreationally eventually agreed with Mr. Nice's position if I remember correctly, but it had to go to the state supreme court to get there so good luck~~~

# ¿ Nov 24, 2018 14:21

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

Discendo Vox posted:

Yes I'm sure he let you climb up there and lean over the divider

First off, wouldn't that testimony be admissible? And second, should the judge really be objecting on behalf of her opponent? Whatever it's a comic is the answer to both questions.

# ¿ Dec 5, 2018 19:04

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

Poppers are for the bottom Phil.

# ¿ Dec 6, 2018 23:27

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

EwokEntourage posted:

Where does Toona fit on the list of fictional lawyers

Toona isn�t a lawyer soooooo....

# ¿ Dec 7, 2018 02:37

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

ActusRhesus posted:

Anyone who uses Esq. is a douche.

Can confirm.

# ¿ Dec 8, 2018 23:37

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 11:20

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

Soothing Vapors posted:

lol

oh poo poo was he behind that one too? what a practice that guy's built up

Filing frivolous lawsuits to own the libs seems like a good business model for scamming money from rich entitled dickwads.

# ¿ Dec 11, 2018 00:34

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Law Megathread: the stunner off the top rope that everyone but the defense saw coming

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