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"Ok honey, I slept on it." "Well good. So you've calmed down? You won't complain?" "Oh I'm still lodging a complaint. I'm going to complain so hard it echoes into eternity."
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Aug 30, 2021 20:53
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zoux posted:He Man can ride his cat. He is so cringe.
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Aug 31, 2021 22:55
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Kratos turns into a genocidal Eastern European dictator? Guess it kinda matches. Edit: oh man I thought they were just going to be boring regular people but some of these are hilarious.
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Sep 1, 2021 02:14
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https://twitter.com/ItsPhetz/status/1432815804328804357?s=20 If you're not caught up on the stories of Americans trying to use Ivermectin this must be even more hilariously weird to read.
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Sep 1, 2021 02:19
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low key sex master posted:the angels like "aw hell naw" and dislocates his hip and also gives him a new name out of the blue? "Hey YO, are you that angel? I heard you attacked my boy Jacob and he whooped you! lololol" "Jacob? Why no, I don't know anyone by that name..."
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Sep 1, 2021 16:06
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Yellow Yoshi posted:the end is nye If he doesn't say this on his deathbed I am going to be extremely disappointed.
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Sep 1, 2021 16:14
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Platystemon posted:Please do not let this explanation distract you from the fact that in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcer’s table.  Bah God it's... well, God!
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Sep 1, 2021 19:54
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Wouldn't real-life Archer just look like his voice acto---- oh god why did i look it up
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Sep 1, 2021 20:04
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Son of Thunderbeast posted:H Jon Benjamin has talked about how so many fans have basically this exact reaction when meeting him lol I was only half-joking in my post because I know what he looks like but Archer has been on so long I feel like I probably had that reaction at one point. I don't know what I would have seen him in other than the second Wet Hot American Summer, which was well after.
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Sep 1, 2021 20:17
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Who is that tweet even for? Good movie scenes involving phone booths are not that rare, are they? First thing that came to mind was the "glass cage of emotion!" part from Anchorman. Or is it just meant to get a rise out of people for "engagement."
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Sep 4, 2021 00:50
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ponzicar posted:It's for "engagement". I see that poo poo on Facebook all the time, when someone comments on a 3 year old post from the page of a tiny radio station a thousand miles away from where they live, and it's to answer a question like "Can you think of a fruit that begins with the letter A?" Most annoying version to me is learning how people on YouTube will put errors in their videos to generate comments from all the pendants who just have to point it out and correct them.
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Sep 4, 2021 01:03
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https://twitter.com/InsaneMistress/status/1433970380012605443?s=20
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Sep 4, 2021 05:25
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apatheticman posted:The PPC is a very right wing conservative group started by a francophone who is mad he barely lost the Conservative party leadership vote to sentient milk scum because the vote was held in a conference centre with an anime convention and people got confused. 
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Sep 5, 2021 22:50
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Simu Liu did some stock photo modelling well before he starred in Shang-Chi. https://twitter.com/SimuLiu/status/1435001520660127751?s=20
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Sep 7, 2021 14:58
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https://twitter.com/Muffin_Chips/status/1436332957728485377?s=20
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Sep 11, 2021 03:49
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The one that got me was "Massive Attack on Pentagon Page 14 News."
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Sep 12, 2021 15:36
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German rap must be fun. Seventeen-syllable words that rhyme only on the last one.
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Sep 13, 2021 16:34
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https://twitter.com/thrasherxy/status/1437549440043257861?s=20
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Sep 14, 2021 00:42
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"Nuts to that!"
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Sep 14, 2021 03:50
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My two favourite tweets about Twitter are https://twitter.com/maplecocaine/status/1080665226410889217?s=20 https://twitter.com/ariscott/status/312674580022046720?s=20 (Second one was more relevant with the old character limit but still)
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Sep 14, 2021 13:05
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Tiggum posted:Turns out it was a cunning ruse. "Make people think I'm extremely dumb by saying something extremely dumb." That old classic. Hey now, haven't seen an unironic puppet master response for a long time. Good to know the classics are still going strong.
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Sep 14, 2021 14:22
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https://twitter.com/limitlessjest/status/1438179017249546241?s=20
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Sep 15, 2021 18:36
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Haven't seen that one in a long time. Still amazing.
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Sep 16, 2021 00:43
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Dareon posted:I recall ages and ages ago reading that there was a significant theological hypothesis that the fruit Eve tempted Adam with was actually a banana. A banana from that long ago? Ugh. Couldn't that have been punishment enough, God?
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Sep 20, 2021 21:34
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christmas boots posted:And it took how long for the 9/11 first responders to get their bill? QUACKTASTIC posted:I don't think Elvira's girlfriend was involved in that one lol
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Sep 22, 2021 13:23
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Skwirl posted:How do you pronounce that Greek name? Because I'm gonna remember that the next time someone says something about not liking "Sportsball" or makes fun of geeks and nerds. Thucka-diedth, the way Daffy would say it.
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Sep 23, 2021 22:48
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Biplane posted:drat the third one looks like steve buscemi This is Morty Feldman erasure.
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Sep 25, 2021 01:54
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Also this
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Sep 25, 2021 01:55
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She looked at caber tossing and asked "why not make it more festive? AND violent?"
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Sep 26, 2021 21:27
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got some chores tonight posted:not even bothering to give the kid the family name and just naming him Iv is so powerful It looks like he has the family name but not a given name. That's a weird one because a number is usually given to a kid who is the nth member of the family to have that combo of first and last name, but if he doesn't have a given name then he's just... the 4th? He's the 4th Stucker, ever? But he's also the Senior, so there's someone who came after him who is also the 4th? Maybe he's tied for 4th, like it was twins, but he came out first so they named him the older version.
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Sep 28, 2021 20:10
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Dachshundofdoom posted:That's his college year, silly. They all have it. Haha, whoops, didn't even check the others. But I do want to remember the way I imagined it for how silly it is.
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Sep 29, 2021 02:24
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poly and open-minded posted:German is my second language and if "Wir suchen dich" doesn't elicit at least a "heh" then you might have a problem. I don't know many French words for animals except for the obvious ones like dog, cat, and seal.
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Sep 30, 2021 20:21
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https://twitter.com/wyatt_privilege/status/1443389448205570050?s=20
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Sep 30, 2021 21:51
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This guy is one of the main, long-tenured columnists at Toronto's right-wing rag.
Lobok has a new favorite as of 18:52 on Oct 3, 2021 |
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Oct 3, 2021 15:38
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Friendly dating advice for women: get a picture of you giving a blowjob and hold onto it like an Uno card just in case https://twitter.com/divamonroe2uhoe/status/1444720400324169731?s=20
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Oct 5, 2021 05:08
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Not a tweet per se but
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Oct 6, 2021 20:26
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Woozie66 posted:Goku is also basically asexual. It's canon that he's never even kissed Chi-chi, despite having two kids. No think, no kiss, just fight. Those push-ups Chi-chi wanted him to do over her sure were strange but hey, he's always looking for new training techniques to stay in fighting shape.
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Oct 7, 2021 01:44
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Whenever goatse is posted https://twitter.com/snlhostsintro/status/1446302603172745217
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Oct 8, 2021 16:24
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I just love how bad of an idea it was for Adrian Brody to do that. Like the obvious terrible part is him doing a Sean Paul impression but even just the basic idea of using the musical guest intro for your own secret, impromptu little bit is a loving dumb move for several reasons.
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Oct 8, 2021 19:21
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*dusts off hands* Well, it took years but we've finally replaced every Columbus statue with a statue of Marisa Tomei. Now to just turn on the news and see what-- Marisa Tomei under fire today for remarks she made against
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Oct 11, 2021 23:26
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