UKMT February 2020 - horny for shepherdess feet

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT February 2020 - horny for shepherdess feet

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

OwlFancier posted:

They would probably give it to one of the UK diplomatic staff.

Should do this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ptZxseU8co&t=138s

So the UK now has a year to sort out customs and the Irish border and the various trade deals?

# ¿ Feb 1, 2020 17:31

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# ¿ May 12, 2024 01:49

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

What the gently caress are the BBC up to? Giving air to people who say they suffer from "Electrosensitivity".

# ¿ Feb 7, 2020 17:40

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

Guavanaut posted:

Does anyone know his usual walk? I have a label printer at work and some lanyards, could do a believable wallet inspector.

I read the thread and someone sold him a �40 coat for �100 by pretending to be Italian.

# ¿ Feb 7, 2020 22:26

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

Two bins have fallen over in my street. Post Children of Men gifs/.jpgs/.png because thats my life now.

Also, good to see the British army is as respectable as ever:

Soldier lay dead in barracks for three weeks but 'Army won't tell how he died'

quote:

A soldier lay dead in an Army camp for three weeks before he was found late last month.

Bernard Mongan�s superiors failed to spot he was not on duty. His widow told a friend: �It�s outrageous no one went to check on him.�

His widow Beth blasted the Army over the mysterious death of her soldier husband whose body lay undiscovered in a military base.

Lance Corporal Bernard Mongan, 33, was found on January 23 in his bedroom in a barracks accommodation block.

The Army has refused to comment on the circumstances of his death. But police have told his widow they believe he died around New Year after investigating his phone records.

He'll have been murdered of "natural causes" or "suicide".

# ¿ Feb 9, 2020 15:15

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

Just caught up with the thread and without wanting to restart anything I enjoyed Saith going off on one. Though points deducted for not mentioning the 'treachery of the blue books.' Also the real historic problem for Wales and the whole of the UK, the loving liberals (Welsh liberals really hosed Wales over). When are we working class going to get out poo poo together and push them all into the sea? I'm currently free Sunday.

I'm really glad HS2 is going ahead.

# ¿ Feb 12, 2020 23:32

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

Bundy posted:

I'm not.

Ratjaculation posted:

Last year I was part of some of the independent surveys for the Trust's and oppositions along the route north of Birmingham.

HS2 is an ecological disaster.

It is however now inevitable, and to me it seems likely most protection/mitigation law will be scrapped by Brexit, so it will be interesting to see the cost in the years to come.

Sorry lads I could have sworn I put very glad in inverted commas. I am glad because it will mean I will have more shifts and more regularly. But it does also seem far too expensive and as you say, damaging to the environment.

# ¿ Feb 13, 2020 15:15

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

Apraxin posted:

Freed of the shackles of the EU, Britain is now in an excellent position to negotiate a favourable trade deal with the US, especially because of Prime Minister Johnson�s excellent personal relationship with President Trump!
https://mobile.twitter.com/businessinsider/status/1228300472014032898
Ah.

I admit to knowing nothing about negotiating international trade deals but would their level of friendship actually have anything to do with it? I'd have thought it would have been handled by a load of experts and then those two would declare it an amazing deal even if it was poo poo.

# ¿ Feb 14, 2020 16:57

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

Darth Walrus posted:

lol, you think America and Britain have trade experts.

Trump gutted the US State Department, and the UK has had the EU do trade negotiations on its behalf for decades.

I didn't mean experts I meant civil servants but couldn't think of the words. Them and their non union US equivalents Serventio Civil�.

Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

The experts involved will include lots and lots of lobbyists seeking to protect their market share while tearing down any "red tape" elsewhere. Any agreement will include painful political choices that'll need to be accepted by parliamentarians that seek to protect and promote the business interests in their respective duck ponds, knowing full well they'll be held responsible for voting in favour of something that's perceived to gently caress over their constituents. Even agreeing to include something as potentially negotiable will be hugely controversial, there's basically gently caress all that can be done without cutting off some very choice powers over domestic social and economic policy.

Other than that you're right afaik on how any deal will be sold to the public, if they ever manage to put something on paper. but there's too much attention on this to work out that way

This post mans me both happy and sad.

Ms Adequate posted:

Sorry, this is unrelated to everything BUT

I just went to the corner shop before the storm rolls in. I said "gently caress it" and went out in my already-on girl clothes rather than changing to boy clothes as I always have before. This is the FIRST TIME I've been out in girl clothes.

I was crossing the street when a couple walking their dog crossed from the other side. The dog was dawdling and the woman goes "Cross! Cross, cross!" and the dog did but then spotted me and came up to investigate and the woman goes "No carry on, she doesn't want ya!" (This was a lie the dog was v. adorable but).

"She"

GUYS I'M GIDDY I'M OVER THE MOON

IT'S DARK AND RAINY AND SHE BARELY SAW ME I'M SURE BUT

I'M SO GIDDY MY FIRST GIRLCLOTHES OUTING COULDN'T HAVE GONE BETTER!!!!

This post just makes me happy.

# ¿ Feb 14, 2020 23:26

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

Wales is no kind of socialist utopia contrary to what seems to be popular belief around here.

Heavily brexit supporting (and no, it's not all English pensioners - huge areas of Wales where no English person will be buying retirement homes voted Leave including the valleys, Torfaen, Merthyr, Rhondda - school friends of mine whose parents worked down the pits and who themselves had jobs in the steel works and live on the side of aging coal tips just along from Abervan), and approx a third of Assembly Members being UKIP or Tory.

Ha ha, what? How long have you been 'Welsh'?

Also does the UK leave the EU on Dec 31st no matter the state of negotiations?

# ¿ Feb 17, 2020 20:42

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

I didn't say I was Welsh. I am English. But my parents moved to Wales when I was 4 so family have been in Wales for 56 years. How long have you been Welsh?

Depends on your definition of when life begins. Not having a go, it's just you generally don't see Welsh people spell it with a 'v'.

Doctor_Fruitbat posted:

There's one more opportunity to extend in, I want to say, June, but otherwise we're out at the end of Dec 31st, no matter how completely unprepared we are.

We're going to be hosed no matter how prepared we are aren't we?

stev posted:

https://twitter.com/AndrewSabisky/s...-tv-debate-live

Poor bloke wasn't even given a chance to eradicate the browns before the Twitter mob chased him away.

Did he even try saying "yeah I said that poo poo and I regret it because it's stupid" before lobbing his toys out of the pram?

bessantj fucked around with this message at 21:24 on Feb 17, 2020

# ¿ Feb 17, 2020 21:22

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

I did question to myself v or f but didn't check.

We were in Aberfan a week before the disaster. It was horrendous and especially unnerving because we moved to Blaina a few months later and my school was on the side of a covered over tip and our house was on the side of a covered over tip on the opposite side.

Well just remember Welsh doesn't have a v and you'll be fine. It's unnerving just how many of those covered tips there were in Wales at the time. Must have been a very worrying time for a lot of people, thank gently caress we didn't have another one.

baka kaba posted:

because he still believes it and he doesn't sound like he'd admit to being wrong even as a convenient lie

*posing in front of bookshelves with The Art of War casually yet prominently in frame*
heh I joined to do important work but the ignorant plebs have worked themselves up - oh well their loss, I'll apply my superior intellect elsewhere

Oh well, that's fair enough.

# ¿ Feb 17, 2020 21:44

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

How commie are you?
I got 43%.

https://www.idrlabs.com/communism/test.php

The things I failed to be a commie on were several things involving 'the state' - all well and good in a benign 'socialist' state but certainly wouldn't want a fash state controlling them!

55%

# ¿ Feb 17, 2020 21:52

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

OwlFancier posted:

That's the other thing, oh you're 75% of the way to being stalin? Oh well you're somewhat communist I guess.

I got somewhat communist at 55% how communist do you have to be to be a communist!

# ¿ Feb 17, 2020 22:05

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

Tesseraction posted:

"do you support shooting barry?"

me: ???? Who is Barry? Is he good? Is he bad? What did he do?

"you failed to shoot Barry in the time allotted, he escaped and killed 19 orphans"

me: gently caress

A game, like Papers, Please, but set in a Gulag.

# ¿ Feb 17, 2020 22:23

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

CoolCab posted:

that and not thinking guto bebb is a star wars name, apparently.

Is it more or less of a Star Wars name than his wife's name Esyllt Bebb?

# ¿ Feb 18, 2020 13:14

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

CoolCab posted:

Def more. Esyllt doesn't sound particularly star wars at all.

What is a "Star Wars" name then?

OwlFancier posted:

Is that the Welsh name we get Isolde from?

I think they're both derived from Iseult, but don't quote me on that.

# ¿ Feb 18, 2020 14:56

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

forkboy84 posted:

The Phantom Menace

The bastard who nicked my food bin!

Blasmeister posted:

Simple phonetic invented words plus a whole bunch of nominative determinism

Is that why none of them are named "Sexhaver"?

# ¿ Feb 18, 2020 15:14

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

CoolCab posted:

I’m very glad you asked!

That made one of us.

So would "Iago" be a Star Wars name?

# ¿ Feb 18, 2020 15:41

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

VideoGames posted:

But the public can it be trusted.

Well I'm the public and I can't be trusted so, no.

# ¿ Feb 18, 2020 17:42

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

https://twitter.com/Otto_English/status/1229830928169611265?s=20

Some funny replies to that.

Drench me EUDaddy!

# ¿ Feb 18, 2020 21:25

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

Coohoolin posted:

Lmao who's excited to read this? My comic book friends are all loudly groaning on Facebook.

https://news.stv.tv/entertainment/marvel-to-introduce-new-british-superhero-team-the-union?top

Oh I wonder what Wales gets... of course. Still a Welsh Black Canary isn't that bad I guess.

Coohoolin posted:

My favourite bit is this:

WHY NOT THREE? DRAGONS EVERYWHERE

Wales does have multi-headed dragons so he's not being new and fancy.

marktheando posted:

Lol Watson

I don't follow her stuff but she seem great.

baka kaba posted:

why's piers's bio up there? did they change the layout?

# ¿ Feb 21, 2020 18:49

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

CoolCab posted:

i am very amused that it's a knockoff banshee, a character which was a paper thin irish stereotype (when last i cared about comics) who also has nearly the same color scheme (black green then yellow or lime).

Give it a few years and she'll lose her powers and get ice powers or something. I wonder if she has to sing rather than just scream like Black Carney and banshee. Also their enemies are already being created.

https://twitter.com/LenziePar/status/1230593543196102656

# ¿ Feb 21, 2020 19:30

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

Ms Adequate posted:

I don't trust district heating at all, what if some fucker down the road steals all my heat?

You need to learn how to get X-Pac heat.

# ¿ Feb 21, 2020 20:07

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

happyhippy posted:

Judge Dredd.

Mega City One(Two and Three) is the US cities.
Brit-Cit is the UK one.
Emerald Isle is the Ireland one.

Don't forget Sov-Cit :ussr:

# ¿ Feb 21, 2020 21:03

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

Jedit posted:

Sadly, sovcits didn't exist in those days and so the Russian megacities are East-Meg One and Two. But Megacity Three doesn't exist either - it goes by Texas City.

Oh yeah, I'd completely forgotten about that.

# ¿ Feb 21, 2020 21:21

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

This night shift has played hell with my internal clock. I'm now hungry when I'm usually thinking about going to bed.

# ¿ Feb 21, 2020 22:50

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

Just bought a new headlamp for my hardhat and both times I've tested it I've looked directly at the light when turning it on. What I'm saying is I'm not Britain's best and brightest.

# ¿ Feb 22, 2020 15:39

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

Julio Cruz posted:

try going to the cinema alone

20 loving 20 and you still get looked at like you�ve sprouted a third arm

I go to the cinema alone tons (often off when friends are working) it's great, I only ever felt uncomfortable when I went to see Pan.

# ¿ Feb 22, 2020 15:53

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

josh04 posted:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/2b3f3f67-2338-4253-b7f5-a36192885492

Thrilled to see the beeb getting in on the exciting new trend of "Want a 2nd job? Make �� from home!" signs at roundabouts, jfc.

He may well be someone who just has a knack for this type of thing. Plenty of people have gotten themselves out of poverty and into riches by having a real talent that gets them huge sums of money, like footballers. What gets to me is the whole "well if I can do it, anyone can" one-size-fits-all approach. Of course only a few people can do it, that's why it pays so well.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2020 19:26

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

happyhippy posted:

I want us to have the currency in Aliens, the dollarpound.

And Red Dwarf.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2020 21:22

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# ¿ May 12, 2024 01:49

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

Guavanaut posted:

https://twitter.com/robertpopper/status/1232669184510824449

wut

https://twitter.com/youwouldknow/status/1233093092087037952

# ¿ Feb 29, 2020 18:14

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