UKMT March 2020 - Bojo got the Covo - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT March 2020 - Bojo got the Covo

Who is your first pick in the deputy leadership race? This poll is closed.
R. Allin-Khan	6	1.60%
R. Burgon	80	21.33%
D. Butler	72	19.20%
A. Rayner	35	9.33%
I. Murray	5	1.33%
P. Flaps	177	47.20%
Total:	375 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

Ash Crimson posted:

Whats the context

I looked into the twitter replies, and it seems that some kids stole a car and went for a joyride. They then abandoned the car, and then one went back to get his phone, and subsequently got Falcon punched. The dude that got out of the blue van was police (apparently).

# ¿ Mar 13, 2020 10:07

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# ¿ May 12, 2024 02:23

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

sinky posted:

Only Britain Soldiers On

That�s a bit misleading. What about Netherlands, Finland, etc with their schools still open?

# ¿ Mar 13, 2020 13:02

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

Disnesquick posted:

My baby is due in April. We're doing the contingency planning on that exact scenario right now. What fun!

We had a home birth for one of ours, I�d recommend it.

I wouldn�t recommend it being an accidental home birth though.

# ¿ Mar 13, 2020 13:50

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

Asgerd posted:

I'm really starting to panic on behalf of my sister and my dad, both of whom are asthmatic (and the latter over 60) but resolutely refuse to alter their daily routines apart from extra hand washing

Just overheard my wife trying to convincer her asthmatic 72 year old mother to not go out and do her normal routines. We�re trying to keep our 1 year old who�s got a cough away from her.

# ¿ Mar 13, 2020 22:54

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

I�m in a house of 5 women. Bog roll doesn�t stand a chance here.

# ¿ Mar 14, 2020 14:01

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

forkboy84 posted:

There are still zero cases in the Highlands so please stay in your southern death holes, thanks in advance

I�m in Aberdeen and there�s 6 cases in Grampian. Sometimes being in the frozen North has its benefits.

# ¿ Mar 14, 2020 15:29

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

I need to stop addictively refreshing this thread. It�s doing my anxiety no good.

# ¿ Mar 14, 2020 19:30

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

josh04 posted:

I've been finding twitter especially bad for being a non-stop feed of "crisis is coming" anxiety. Staying away from that for the forseeable future.

I had a breakdown a few years ago and was put on antidepressants and beta blockers.

I�d wake up every morning and check Twitter and BBC to see where had been attacked or bombed, and somehow relate myself to that location. It was a bad time, I got out of that habit but I feel myself going back towards it. I feel like I need to know everything. Which isn�t very helpful.

# ¿ Mar 14, 2020 19:44

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

Wachter posted:

I'm a lifelong atheist but I find myself turning to religion in these trying times

It�s not gruesome enough for Papa Nurgle.

# ¿ Mar 15, 2020 15:23

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

NotJustANumber99 posted:

Bet the person who invented that antibacterial hand gel is rubbing their hands.

One of our local gin distilleries (?) has just done a big batch of alcohol hand gel. They�re only giving it to care homes and places that need it.

# ¿ Mar 15, 2020 21:45

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

https://twitter.com/_paulmonaghan/status/1239244749468565504?s=21

Sorry for the poorly linked tweet. But Scottish schools preparing to shut for up to 4 months. How the hell can we manage that, I�d normally palm the kids off to grandparents, but that�s not feasible now.

Thankfully mine are only Primary age, but could you imagine if you�re sitting your Highers.

# ¿ Mar 16, 2020 08:03

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

Total Meatlove posted:

The longer they delay the more of it sits within existing childcare arrangements and arranged leave.

�Existing childcare�, which is usually grandparents. Who hopefully haven�t died.

# ¿ Mar 16, 2020 08:18

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

stev posted:

Imagine having to sit major exams under those conditions. If I had to motivate myself to study from home for four months before my GCSEs I'd have failed the lot of them.

There was talk that the uni exams could be sat from home. So, it�s safe to say everyone would cheat.

# ¿ Mar 16, 2020 08:50

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

I�m just amazed seeing photos from people on Facebook at a local Lewis Capaldi gig. Must have been thousands of people crammed in.

I get that the �ban� comes in today, but have some sense.

# ¿ Mar 16, 2020 09:32

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

I�m going to use elderly as a shield.

Avoid confined spaces such as pubs, clubs, and briefing rooms.

# ¿ Mar 16, 2020 17:56

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

So if we�re three weeks behind Italy, does that mean London is only one week behind? Or the rest of us are actually five weeks behind?

# ¿ Mar 16, 2020 18:38

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

hemale in pain posted:

to be fair you can do pay at pump and just take some disposable gloves

What if the oil rigs and the refineries shut down :tinfoil:

# ¿ Mar 16, 2020 19:11

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

GreyjoyBastard posted:

speaking as a professional entrail-reader / data scientist this is EXACTLY when and why you build in additional conservatism to your models

if I make a whoopsiedoodle it costs the state millions of dollars, and that's nothing compared to a pandemic booboo

When our petroleum models are wrong, we just correct them with the actuals. I�m sure they�ll do the same once the corpses are cold.

# ¿ Mar 16, 2020 20:52

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

https://twitter.com/Humdiha/status/1239900882885586948?s=20

I work in an industry that regularly runs "Lessons Learned" at the end of projects, and we constantly fail to implement them in the next project. They go into a spreadsheet and forgotten about.

I shouldn't be surprised that the same level of incompetance is prevelant in government.

# ¿ Mar 17, 2020 15:26

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

uhh

quote:

The UK government's chief scientific adviser Sir Patrick Vallance is appearing at the House of Common's health committee.

He tells MPs that the UK should start to see rates of infection come down in two to three weeks.

He says it would be "a good outcome" if the number of coronavirus-related deaths in the UK can be kept to below 20,000.

# ¿ Mar 17, 2020 15:59

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

OwlFancier posted:

It's still so surreal that having never really left my corner of the UK which is apparently one of the least populous parts, I have a wildly different view of what the UK is like.

Same. I�m in Aberdeen, which is the only other part of Scotland with any significant population, and even that isn�t very busy.

Aberdeen population density : 1.1k/sq km
Glasgow : 3.4k/sq km
London : 4.5k/sq km

# ¿ Mar 18, 2020 09:24

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

Jose posted:

Lmao someone put a social distancing notice up on a meeting room door while the room was packed full of people

It also talks about leaving spaces between computers for safety but there are way too many people for that to be possible

Just saw a bus go past, slightly reduced occupancy. But still full of loving olds sitting next to each other.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2020 10:44

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

goddamnedtwisto posted:

This is going to hit the dick-sucking factories the hardest.

Alternate joke: Surely wearing them in any area but your face is just wasteful?

That's good, Westminister might get some work actually done.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2020 10:55

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

quote:

Posted at 13:1813:18
BREAKING
Schools expected to close by end of this week
Ms Sturgeon says it is "inevitable" that schools will shut.

The planning assumption is that schools will be closed by end of this week, the first minister confirms.

Welsh Assembly announced the same. Good luck England.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2020 14:22

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

https://twitter.com/lynseybews/status/1240268811770761216?s=20

the gently caress do I do with my kids for 4 months.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2020 14:31

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

What I don�t really understand, is when is this deemed over?

Is it when our healthcare can cope with the projected cases? Is it when we have no more cases? Is it when we stop going exponential?

146 is CXLVI in Roman numerals.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2020 16:40

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

radmonger posted:

I think at one stage there was a plan. It�s just that the plan would lead to the death of about a quarter million people.

This was judged unacceptable once it was actually said out loud. So now the plan is to not have a plan.

How the gently caress can you plan in your business, if you don�t know what the plan is. Borders may shut, they may not. Schools are shutting and may open at the end of the summer holidays, or they may not.

Seriously, what the gently caress. I picked the wrong year to come off my anti anxiety meds.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2020 17:12

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

ThomasPaine posted:

sorry pal we're all on mr bones' wild ride now

More seriously, there's no single day it's 'over'. I imagine that things will begin to transition back to 'normality' once recoveries are outnumbering new cases and we're back below the threshold that can be effectively managed by the health service

So is that where China is now? Allegedly? But I suppose we need to take their cases reported with a pinch of salt.

The highest possible break in snooker in the absence of a foul is 147.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2020 17:38

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

ThomasPaine posted:

Yep if China's figures are correct they have essentially come out the other end.

Italy looks like cases are beginning to plateau. And they're what, a fortnight ahead of us. I'd say we've got a good two months, maybe three, before it's 'over', but hopefully we're through the worst of it in one.

Didn�t Italy just report a massive increase in deaths yesterday. It�s cheer me up to be proved wrong.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2020 18:00

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

quote:

He reveals that today, the first corona patient has been put into randomised trial on drugs that may treat the disease.

For fucks sake, just chucking random drugs at someone to see if it helps.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2020 18:32

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

quote:

those responsible for the management of the deceased

Can�t imagine that�s a fun annual review.

# ¿ Mar 20, 2020 08:39

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

We�ve had no new deaths in Scotland, but a 100% increase of new cases.

:unsmith:

# ¿ Mar 20, 2020 15:46

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

Roller Coast Guard posted:

The CBeebies presenters are telling kids all about washing their hands and using soap in the segments between shows.

My kids have all come back from school with really irritated hands, and one has bleeding knuckles from dryness.

Either that or she�s taking part in a P1 fight club.

# ¿ Mar 20, 2020 16:54

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

So is that going to include cafes and gyms and everything else or are they gonna go half-assed

If past history is any indication, we�re going full assed.

# ¿ Mar 20, 2020 17:02

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

The cynic in me wonders, do you need to have caught �rona to get the money. Or does your industry need to be impacted by �rona and you be surplus to requirements to get it?

How long will it last for? I like where it�s going, but proof will be in the execution.

# ¿ Mar 20, 2020 18:23

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

Non ironically regrammed by someone at last weeks Lewis Capaldi gig.

gently caress you you loving gently caress. Corona virus isn�t only contagious now.

# ¿ Mar 20, 2020 18:48

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

I feel like I should be trying to post positivity in here. But:

https://twitter.com/robinmalik/status/1241435942348623872?s=21

:smith:

# ¿ Mar 21, 2020 20:16

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

happyhippy posted:

Currently munching on a Nutella and Smooth Peanut Butter sandwich.

That�s a good sandwich.

quote:

Nutella and Ketchup

That can gently caress off to room 101.

# ¿ Mar 22, 2020 01:34

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

If this story is anything to go by, we're in for an absolute nightmare

(Excerpts in OP's post if you don't want to click the link)

I just read that, and it�s grim.

# ¿ Mar 22, 2020 11:07

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# ¿ May 12, 2024 02:23

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

Jose posted:

No I need a new toilet seat first

For people who want to do some cardio inside so long as you have stairs you can just walk up and down them repeatedly. It's boring sure but you'll get a good cardio workout from it

Speaking of lockdown exercise.

A french guy ran a marathon on his 7mtr balcony.

# ¿ Mar 22, 2020 16:10

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