Dumb shit your work does: for some reason in the Diablo font.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Dumb shit your work does: for some reason in the Diablo font.

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Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

At first I thought you mean they banned putting dates on anything which would have been weird anywhere but in the context of this thread.

# ¿ Mar 29, 2021 11:28

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# ¿ May 17, 2024 14:15

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

AHH F/UGH posted:

The software that literally every company on earth uses for ~~tracking sales~~ shoveling money into a hole in the ground.

# ¿ May 28, 2021 20:05

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Barudak posted:

2) So many motherfucking people have nothing in their signatures. No company name, no phone number, nothing. Listen up fuckhole, put it in there

I have name, position and and company in my signature. My email address is in the header and I'm not giving my phone number to every chucklehead that I email.

# ¿ May 30, 2021 13:08

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Company held a survey after we had been 100% WFH for 6 months which showed that 90%+ of people were happy with working from home, and team managers reported that people are more efficient and we're getting more done overall.

The only group which reported they weren't massively happy with WFH was HR, of course. So we had a company meeting a few weeks ago and the HR-led plan is to return to at least 50% in-office work.

HR - We're not happy until you're not happy.

# ¿ Jun 2, 2021 12:38

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Solkanar512 posted:

So what happened when this was pointed out to HR?

We don't know yet. There was obviously a huge negative reaction which presumably got passed up the chain.

I expect it to be like when they wanted to make it a rule that everyone should have their cameras on all the time during online meetings, which most people simply ignore.

# ¿ Jun 3, 2021 08:01

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

SkyeAuroline posted:

Password field that isn't exact-match sensitive.

I think that stands on its own without explanation.

My high school library in the 90s had a system which accepted wildcards in the username field. So you'd enter * in the username field and an obviously dumb password like "Password" or the name of the school and it would log you in as the first user it could find with that password. :v:

# ¿ Jun 7, 2021 12:41

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

A lot of corporate images are needlessly restrictive. If you have any work experience, you probably have a few tools you've found that make your life easier and just going bluntly "no" to any request for software is dumb.

A previous job had a nice software portal where anyone could request software, and depending on which software it was it would either be installed immediately or be sent off for manager and/or application owner approval. After approval it would get automatically pushed to your machine.

# ¿ Jul 10, 2021 08:53

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

In my experience, management gets introduced to Agile and learn two things from it:

1 - Daily meetings! Awesome, I can lord over people every day!
2 - I don't have to commit to anything! Awesome, I can change my mind on a whim and then blame someone else when it sinks the project!

Everything else is ignored.

# ¿ Jul 15, 2021 11:31

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Work smarter not harder. And the smartest way is less.

# ¿ Jul 17, 2021 00:14

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

I put on my suit and manager tie.

# ¿ Jul 23, 2021 11:07

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Ugly In The Morning posted:

You�re always going to end up with someone where a bunch of their poo poo doesn�t end up on a networked drive or something. This person easily could have put all the files for their clients on a share drive easily.

Just because something's on a network share doesn't mean it can be found among the millions of other vaguely named, irrelevant and out of date files sorted into a nonsensical directory structure.

# ¿ Jul 26, 2021 17:46

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Someone heard the company needs to generate more buzz.

# ¿ Aug 28, 2021 11:12

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Catastrophe posted:

Like... Hey, tell me what the hell YOU would do with that level of information if it was sent to you, scrub. We'd constantly have to send back tickets escalated to higher tier tech support, devops, development, etc, with a note basically saying "what the gently caress? don't ever do this." and they'd just send them back most of the time with a note saying it's still broken and we need to fix it. Is there an error code? Is there a button that doesn't do what they expect? Does a page lead to a 404? Is there a visual glitch? What?? WTF is "WEBSITE BUSTED LOL" anyway? I grew to hate lazy tech workers who find an issue and then just send it off to others with no information or troubleshooting just so their on-paper ticket numbers looked better.

At a job way back each tier of support had to document what information gathering / troubleshooting steps they had performed in the ticket. If you didn't do any and just escalated, it would immediately get kicked back.

We let people in the support chain know that troubleshooting skill was one of the main factors when considering promotions, which was both a pretty good carrot and a good way of encouraging people to learn how to troubleshoot. It was also a good way to weed out the people who didn't do any troubleshooting and lied about it in the ticket.

# ¿ Sep 12, 2021 12:13

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Outrail posted:

I've found the people who resist getting the vaccine are generally just difficult and hard to work with.

"I know you have 20 years of experience working in your field but I watched a Linus Tech Tips video yesterday so I'm basically an expert too and let me argue with you about this..."

# ¿ Sep 17, 2021 17:34

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Barudak posted:

I swear I was told there is some kill switch capability in outlook to disable reply all chains that break things.

There is, it's called block connections to Exchange except for admins and then go in and nuke the offending emails from everyone's mailboxes.

Unless they added something else recently.

# ¿ Sep 21, 2021 17:26

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Lascivious Sloth posted:

are you a cop?

Harassing minorities is hard work.

# ¿ Sep 21, 2021 19:15

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

PhazonLink posted:

the best argument i heard is that some people have such little selfcontrol that just checking their phone makes them open/unlock it and then they have to do doomscrolling and other dumb smart phone things.

Also just checking your wirst is an easy simple action.

I bought a fitbit which both tells me the time and tells me why I'm fat. :v:

# ¿ Sep 22, 2021 20:19

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

goatsestretchgoals posted:

Limited exception for verb_thing_and_thing, but think on it.

function verbThings(array things)

# ¿ Oct 19, 2021 12:43

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Escape From Noise posted:

This guy would get his e-mails printed out and then try to "click" the hyperlinks on the printed sheets of paper and would start going apeshit when nothing happened, slamming the "link" on the page over and over.

I'd love to know what outcome he was expecting from poking an underlined piece of printed text on a paper. That the paper should change content? That the link would open on his computer?

# ¿ Nov 20, 2021 00:57

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

That or they cherry-pick parts of the latest fad method and tack them onto their already broken process without actually improving anything.

Doing everything the same lovely way you always did, except you stop commiting to a specification or even project goal and call it "agile", with daily stand-ups at 7:30 because your PM is a sociopath.

Collateral Damage fucked around with this message at 18:04 on Dec 9, 2021

# ¿ Dec 9, 2021 18:02

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

interwhat posted:

That's what im thinking, but it's a little more complicated. The whole facility is surrounded with barbed wire and requires clearance from manager to security to get a non company vehicle in and out. I have about 600-700 pounds of tools + toolbox I have to get out of there, probably close to $40,000 worth of my career instruments.

Can I ask in what kind of helljob you've lended 40 grand worth of your own equipment to the company?

Could you borrow a company vehicle to take your stuff home if that makes it easier?

# ¿ Jan 29, 2022 13:10

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Takes No Damage posted:

Crossposting from the schadenfreude thread:

A perfect example of "A lack of planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on mine."

# ¿ Feb 22, 2022 10:32

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Agile has a couple of good ideas, but it's laughable that any company would swallow the entire thing and try to implement it by the letter. Like every management method, there's a ton of garbage that's been piled on because people writing management books needed to pad out the page count.

# ¿ Nov 11, 2022 21:43

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Breetai posted:

What are the good ideas of agile, like in a nutshell? I'm sure that the way it's being done to me is not the way it's supposed to be done, but I just have no clue as to what it's actually supposed to achieve.

Iterative development, keeping the "customer" in the loop and adapting to feedback while maintaining the overall goal, working towards getting a minimum viable product out in the first couple of sprints and building on top of that, breaking abstract goals down into small, managable tasks.

However Agile isn't alone in doing this, and of course pretty much everyone does most of it wrong. The #1 error project managers do is think adapting to feedback means we should let the customer change the entire scope of the project at any time while staying committed to the delivery date ourselves.

Like Motronic said if you don't have a good PM (and good PMs are extremely rare) you easily end up with "waterfall with a kanban board"

# ¿ Nov 12, 2022 00:00

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Breetai posted:

So... Not really a system that is appropriate to apply to a platform management team that focuses largely on policy development, implementation and enforcement and whose only exposure to 'customers' is via it's secondary bau function of acting as a level 1 helpdesk for access/'why doesn't my code work's enquiries.

Nope, that's not a use case where the major concepts of agile are suitable.

But PMs and management coaches are always desperate to justify their existence so will try to shoehorn their favorite methodology into everything.

# ¿ Nov 12, 2022 13:31

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

There's a craft brew pub here that often serves poo poo like "peach raspberry pecan pie caramel marshmallow beer topped with whipped cream and sprinkles." and you still have hipsters clambering over each other to pay $20 for a half pint of that undrinkable garbage.

Now I like a small glass of coffee and/or chocolate stout every now and then. But stop trying to cram the entire dessert table into the same cask.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2022 20:42

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Cyrano4747 posted:

The thing that kills me is that most of those flavors are doable with mixed drinks.

Yeah don't get me wrong, most of those flavors would be fine on their own in a beer. I like fruity sours. I like dessert stouts. It's the gimmick of cramming everything into one that bothers me.

# ¿ Nov 15, 2022 08:42

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

A career is really just bouncing between jobs every couple of years until you find one that has a pay-to-bullshit ratio that you can tolerate.

# ¿ Mar 27, 2023 13:14

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

CitizenKain posted:

We had a fire alarm test at the place I worked at years ago. It was initially just the alarms in the work space, but they wanted to check every room. So we had people escorting them, as it was the datacenter for the place I worked. One of the guys wanted to test the alarm button in the server room and was reaching for it when the building manager grabbed him and pulled him away. That button would kill power to the room and deploy the halon.

When they came back the next year, we didn't let that guy anywhere near the room.

The only people who are allowed to test the fire supression system in the datacenter are the people who built the fire supression system and know how it works.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2023 20:33

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

McSpanky posted:

All of this stuff makes sense, but I gotta wonder, what about all those old factories/mills/etc. that got converted into lofts? Wouldn't they have had pretty much the same issues re: plumbing and air management?

In older buildings plumbing was often outside the walls so were much easier to reroute. Plus they were a few stories at most, not 30 story obelisks to Mammon.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2023 11:54

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Pyrtanis posted:

I too got bad about vocalizing when I did a stint of WFH. Stopped pretty quick when I went back into the office, first time I growled out an insult typing up a dictation and my coworker busted out laughing was a smart reminder to keep it in my head.

I was in a vendor meeting from home and blurted out a loud "Oh gently caress you!" on an open mic because I was browsing political news at the same time. :cripes:

# ¿ Aug 14, 2023 15:37

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Who has a bunch of DVI only screens in tyool 2023 and decides to get DP to DVI adapters instead of throwing those antiques out and just getting screens made within the last decade? :psyduck:

If you're really pinching pennies you could probably have gotten refurbed screens with DP for less than what your company spent on those garbage adapter cables.

Sorry about your ex. But engaging in self harm like this is not the solution.

# ¿ Aug 19, 2023 13:00

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Your mistake was saying "I'll be available for one day in case of emergencies" because managers see "available" and tune out the rest and in their mind you said "I'll be available the entire time to do all of this by myself."

Even if you know you'll be able to help out in emergencies, you tell people "I'll be spending x weeks on another planet. You won't be able to reach me in any way."

# ¿ Sep 27, 2023 15:50

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Our security team sent out a wave of fake phishing emails last week, but neglected to inform the network team. So when the suspicious looking email asking you to click a link arrived they did what any responsible network admin would and blocked the URL. :v:

# ¿ Oct 8, 2023 15:04

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

What happens if you're ill for longer time than you have sick days? It's not like you choose to get sick.

# ¿ Oct 8, 2023 20:05

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Ensign Expendable posted:

Sit in the hole for 8 hours a day.

So business as usual.

# ¿ Oct 25, 2023 20:25

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Henrik Zetterberg posted:

Came into the office for the first time since pre-Covid today. It's not a mandate, but it's a strong suggestion to come in at least twice a week. I've noticed that they have installed a lot of phone booths all over the office. So they want me to drive 50-60 minutes each way to come into the office, to use a phone booth, so I can call my coworkers and join meetings in different geos.

We have a bunch of solo/duo "meeting booths" in the office and some people had to be told they can't claim them as their personal office all day. I know at least one person made a habit of leaving their stuff in one overnight.

# ¿ Nov 8, 2023 14:48

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Blue Moonlight posted:

I sympathize, because I�d rather be stuck in something the size of a phone booth all day than deal with an open office.

Obviously I would prefer if people could have their own offices, but I don't think we're ever going back to that.

# ¿ Nov 8, 2023 18:13

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

His Divine Shadow posted:

A loving cubicle can't be too much to ask, surely?

Apparently it can.

We had to pester the building manager for half a year to get some sound deadening room dividers so the entire floor wasn't completely open.

# ¿ Nov 9, 2023 17:05

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# ¿ May 17, 2024 14:15

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Car Hater posted:

Lure it into a cage with some peanut butter and put it in his office as a pet

This is the correct solution.

# ¿ Dec 21, 2023 10:58

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Dumb shit your work does: for some reason in the Diablo font.

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