r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Uncle ShortyB posted:

Here's an edit I saw cause I just opened this one up before I saw this post.

I think maybe, just maybe, her parents might be revealed to be Secret Racists.

poor lady beating herself up thinking she got disowned for inappropriate relationships with an ex-boss the same age as her when it was really just racism the whole time :smith:

rotinaj posted:

Why is your dad dating a 21 year old college student and making you loving scrub her underwear

gently caress this entire situation, everything about it sounds bad

do the laundry, tell your dad you can smell his new cologne on his girlfriend's clothes and it's really nice.

# ¿ Oct 20, 2021 17:42

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 09:27

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

I need my emotional support beejohn to help me cope with anxiety from creepy dudes telling me that my emotional support beejohn is illegal

# ¿ Oct 21, 2021 14:11

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

RenegadeStyle1 posted:

Forgiveness being a virtue is something assholes say because they need forgiveness. Everyone has done something lovely to someone and if they don't wanna forgive me that sucks but life goes on.

Yeah, people say "you shouldn't hold grudges" but not bothering to have a relationship with someone is not a grudge. There are like eight billion people on this planet that I don't have a relationship with, that doesn't mean I hold grudges against them.

(I mean, I do, but that's just being a misanthrope.)

# ¿ Oct 22, 2021 00:22

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

AngryRobotsInc posted:

Depends on the kid, really. My son has always bruised if you even just look at him funny, but I have known other kids who can just absolutely eat it onto concrete and not bruise.

I remember being confused as a kid when I'd descriptions of kids getting bruised from fights/falls/etc., because I was a terrible klutz and would routinely faceplant onto every surface of the playground and never saw anything remotely black or blue or purple.

# ¿ Oct 22, 2021 00:38

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Piell posted:

AITA for telling my husband to have his therapy sessions somewhere else?

From the comments

So what does everyone think, porn or gambling?

Both, he's on chatroullete

# ¿ Oct 24, 2021 17:11

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

pentyne posted:

(MA) late brother's partner suing family for Money

Top comment

So what's the over/under on the amount of money they initially gave to the guy's partner so they could pretend they did the fair thing? :20bux:

# ¿ Oct 24, 2021 18:10

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for accidently causing a kid to be outed to his parents?

dear reddit, I handled a situation in a way that managed to simultaneously hurt every single person even tangentially involved in it. was i wrong??????

# ¿ Oct 24, 2021 20:22

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

The Bramble posted:

1 (20M) sent my girlfriend (20F) a post and then panicked and asked her to ignore it

If you thought weebs were annoying, check out this Siddhartha nerd.

weabuddhist

# ¿ Oct 28, 2021 13:30

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Hands up if you have been the parent of a toddler and never said the equivalent of "Great pooping in the pot!" And realized that your life has sunk into applauding poo poo.

AITA for saying I prefer sushi to children?

feels like a no brainer tbh. kids taste like garbage and they're so much work for the little bit of meat on the bone, frankly I don't know how witches manage.

# ¿ Oct 28, 2021 19:34

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Beachcomber posted:

What story is this referencing? Halp

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3982733

# ¿ Oct 28, 2021 19:56

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

DemoneeHo posted:

I got fired from volunteering at a food bank. How do I get my motivation to volunteer back?

I'm going to refrain from going too cspammy here about my thoughts on politicians, dem or repub. And there's a lot of assumptions about who they voted for. But uh, I don't think you can still be a good charity worker while voting republican.

Nonsense! Republicans obviously love poor people, or else they wouldn't create so many of them.

# ¿ Oct 28, 2021 20:33

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

When they say Trump is going to eliminate the debt, they mean that he is going to let the country default and go bankrupt. Then we can start over with a clean slate and everything will be peachy!

# ¿ Oct 28, 2021 23:13

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

limp_cheese posted:

That was a great story and I'll check if I have it saved when I hop on my computer. If I remember right her husband was a SAINT that put up with all of the unreasonable demands for months until a new rule was the one that broke the camel's back. I want to say it was something along the lines of "We'll only have sex on your birthday. Until then no intamacy of any kind." but I think it was actually a non-sex thing that was beyond bonkers.

The friends then taking none of their own advice and blaming OP for listening to them was

IIRC, they were having a kid and she insisted on giving it her last name only, not even hyphenated. She had long known that this was a big deal to her husband.

# ¿ Oct 31, 2021 19:48

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

pentyne posted:

tell me you don't have an HR department without telling me you don't have an HR department

the head guy is absolutely going to start hitting on all the 22 year old women and expecting them to gently caress him for some quick duck points.

what do you mean "start"?

# ¿ Nov 1, 2021 21:00

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA for admitting that I wish my son wasn't disabled?

jesus christ I hope this one's bait.

# ¿ Nov 2, 2021 15:59

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Canuckistan posted:

I can't imagine a 23 year old having enough experience to be a hotel GM. Even with training, there's a lot to be said for experience. OP should have been gunning for the Front Desk Manager position to start with.

Yeah I went looking for more details and a bunch of people on reddit are tearing the story apart.

On the other hand a bunch of other people are telling OP to suck it up and lick more boot, so: :lmao:

good job OP writer

# ¿ Nov 3, 2021 01:20

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

EIDE Van Hagar posted:

These people are all idiots but you live next to them and you all signed up to live in this same hell together so your complaints are useless.

the complaints are indeed useless but that does not make them unjustified. large swathes of otherwise desirable residential development are encumbered by HOAs and depending on area some people don't have a lot of options :shrug:

contractor sounds like an rear end in a top hat and probably deserves the hell he's in but rules for "architectural standards" are still indefensible cargo cult bullshit

# ¿ Nov 4, 2021 05:19

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Bug Squash posted:

The Nazis didn't have the technology to build a big fire???

They did, but ironically, their only written record was in the books they were burning

# ¿ Nov 6, 2021 00:28

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Rescue Toaster posted:

They live in a rural area, so presumably the mailboxes are quite far apart and yet somehow the wife overheard a 'group of people' talking about them within earshot while getting the mail. What?

a town of several thousand people can probably be described as "rural" if it's not contiguous with a bigger city, but it will still have plenty of little houses on regular sized lots

# ¿ Nov 6, 2021 00:36

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Uncle Enzo posted:

Please, can we get more fake stories. More one-handed stories. More questions about how much to tip the guy who switched your cat for an identical one.

Nothing can be worse than the edits thanking everyone for upvoting and post flair. I'm not 100% sure why but they bug the hell out of me.

well, if u insist

TIFU: I'm the biggest idiot on this planet

quote:

Throwaway account for obvious reasons.

My girlfriend probably won't ever have sex with me again, or atleast for weeks.

Today me (M29) and my girlfriend (F25) we're getting saucy on the bed. And me knowing she loves when i rim her, so she goes on her fours, ready to receive. As i get my tongue in there, pretty soon out of nowhere she rips out this ungodly big fart right on my face and in my mouth.

I felt like vomiting but knowing that the poor girl is probably in a shock from the shame, she didn't flinch, just stayed there silent in shock.

And i try to make her feel better and not so embarassed, my dumbass thought this was a good thing to say to lighten up the situation:"Mmm-m, tastes like your mothers cooking. Is that tuna i taste?"

She jumps from the bed, crying, bawling her eyes out while running to the bathroom. And she stays there for a good while. I'm behind the door, apologizing and telling her that it's okay, it happens and it's just human body doing it's thing. I don't hear anything from the bathroom.

....Then i make the situation even worse .... I feel a fart coming, then i rip out one and say "Look! It's normal! It's just fart!" And she hasn't hear me fart ever probably i don't wanna do that around her. But yeah, i start hearing loud crying again from the bathroom ...

She was there for over an hour and right now she's staying in the bedroom and won't come out ..

Tf is wrong with me

TL;DR Girlfriend farted in my mouth accidentally, i threw a joke about it and she's been crying nonstop and won't come out of the bedroom.

# ¿ Nov 8, 2021 05:29

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Barudak posted:

This person takes "my sister forged documentation to become executor of my parent's estate and gave me $500 usd" like they eat clonazepam by the handful.

In similar stories it seems like it usually emerges that the "bygones be bygones" kids got slipped some hush money by the thief. Wonder if she's got thrown a few grand and is keeping quiet about it because she doesn't want to come under fire from her brother.

theflyingexecutive posted:

Wow yeah, I read that entirely with the lens that she also had a kid to take care of.

She's an rear end in a top hat for sure, but the situation is over and the money is supposedly spent. It's supremely petty and vindictive to go after your sister for money that you don't really miss though, especially when doing so could bankrupt her. When I say "It's only a felony in the eyes of the law", I mean that the consequences for her would be magnitudes worse than her crime.

My FIL had almost the exact same situation happen to him when his mother passed last year for a similar amount of money and his brother swooped in and ransacked all the heirlooms and most of the cash. My FIL absolutely did not need any of that money, but he got very sullen and paranoid around everyone, just caricaturishly not trusting people and almost cut his brother out of his life completely. He eventually came around after therapy and an SSRI, talked to his brother through a lawyer, and a few heirlooms "were suddenly found", but the whole situation was very gross considering that my FIL wasn't hurting for money at all.

"wow, these people are being really gross and materialistic huh" I say as I continue shoveling tens of thousands of dollars of other people's money into lifestyle upgrades for myself

# ¿ Nov 9, 2021 14:50

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

theflyingexecutive posted:

I'm not saying what she did was right, I'm saying from the brother's perspective, he's facing a five figure legal bill and years of protracted legal action to get (if he's lucky) half of what he's owed. It's not a two week process where you get a canvas sack with a big dollar sign on it, it's a scorched earth war where he'd constantly reigniting the traumas of both his mother's death and his sister's abuse. And on top of that, his sister could get her entire life wrecked by a prison sentence.

these are all important considerations that she probably should have thought of before defrauding her siblings, who she ostensibly loves and cares about, of what is probably more money than they've ever seen at once in their lives, simply because she did not feel like continuing to live in an apartment

# ¿ Nov 9, 2021 15:06

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

theflyingexecutive posted:

However, it has and will continue to be a tremendous burden on him psychologically for the rest of his life, even if his sister getting punished makes him (and us, the audience) happy in the short term.

boy, that really sucks for him! if only there was some way to bring the person responsible for this psychological burden to justice :sigh:

# ¿ Nov 9, 2021 15:45

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Soylent Pudding posted:

Don't underestimate the ability of parent's siblings and your cousins to still somehow make it miserable.

yeah, in most of the inheritance stories that end up in this thread it seems like it's the older generations that hijack the inheritance (either because I LOST A CHILD/SIBLING or because well billy bob's kids were already doing ok for themselves but poor cousin jimbo's being eaten alive by five different child support payments.)

for starters, they're more likely to be on the will as executors without the extra step of forging their appointment paperwork

# ¿ Nov 9, 2021 16:25

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

MagusofStars posted:

Wait, what does everyone want a part of the ashes for?

they're just being greedy, it's not like it's even a life-changing amount of ashes

# ¿ Nov 9, 2021 17:12

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

hawowanlawow posted:

loving around while playing board games or card games does pretty much ruin the game. I'm ambivalent about the pub trivia, and don't give a poo poo about the charity race

some people definitely do that because they didn't want to play the game, so they undermine it to manipulate the situation. it's frustrating because even if it's obvious that's what they're doing, you can't really call them out on it without looking like a prick.

I don't think op's girlfriend is doing this, but in my experience, they're just getting rid of distractions from what they really want to do: get shitfaced drunk

maybe i'm reading too much into how insufferable the OP is but it sounds like it was probably a good faith attempt by someone inexperienced at gaming. she was still engaging with the game's scoring mechanisms and just latched onto a suboptimal one. yes, if you're playing a really competitive tryhard game having a newbie stumbling around does throw things out of whack but you kind of dial your expectations in based on that when you invite a newbie to play

and maybe pick a more casual game to enjoy with them, like... settlers of catan

edit: also, he doesn't say that she was just building pointlessly long roads, he says that she "kept on trying to build the longest road" which suggests someone was competing with her. i choose to believe it was him and he's 100% mad that he let himself get drawn into a fruitless game of oneupsmanship and blames her for costing him points he feels he deserved instead of choosing to invest his resources elsewhere

the holy poopacy fucked around with this message at 17:52 on Nov 9, 2021

# ¿ Nov 9, 2021 17:47

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Lone Goat posted:

I read it that she was only building a long road and not taking any other actions to actually win the game.

you can also read it as she was doing a perfectly competent job of playing and he just took issue with what she was doing because it was disadvantageous for him

or you can read anything between those two extremes

but I'm not inclined to give OP any benefit of the doubt

# ¿ Nov 9, 2021 22:11

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Scaevolus posted:

the perfect blend of and food takes for this thread

Haha, some dipshit mistyped 1894-1899, as 1994-1999

# ¿ Nov 13, 2021 01:14

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Total Meatlove posted:

Isn�t the rule for specials half as much again on top of the normal mains pricing?

Like if you want to try a dish out or there�s something in season, and you�re charging �25-30 for mains or pricing your steak at �9-10/100g, then a specials board that goes to �45 is well within what people could expect but you�re still poo poo for not pricing it. If you�re normally charging �15, people will expect �22-25?

At the tier of restaurant they're talking about, not really. Those places' specials are more likely to be "gently caress we need to get rid of some ______" or "we got a one time cheap shipment of _______" and generally aren't a big upcharge.

On the other hand, there is a difference between "this is an $11-14 a plate restaurant" vs. "this restaurant has food for $11-14 a plate." It's entirely possible the restaurant normally sells $30-40 steak dinners but OP just zeroed in on the cheap stuff they sell to picky eaters and broke kids, especially since they say they've only eaten lunch there before.

# ¿ Nov 15, 2021 14:39

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Serephina posted:

Hello there, I'm a super driven under-30 women who's elbowed her way up a high-powered STEM field, earned the respect of her peers, and negotiates ruthlessly. Also, my boyfriend had a boo-boo and I have no interpersonal conflict skills, so of course I shall need your help with this, reddit...

It does seem like a stretch but the women that I know that made it big in STEM early have all the relationship expertise and interpersonal conflict skills of their male colleagues, so... :shrug:

# ¿ Nov 16, 2021 03:02

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

My boyfriend (30m) and I (25f) always play wrestled. He stopped enjoying it once I started being able to hold my own, and I feel weird about that.

quote:

My boyfriend and I would often joke around by play wrestling, from the start of our relationship, like if we were cuddling in bed and I wanted to get up earlier, he'd wrestle me back into bed. Or on the beach, he'd pick me up and carry me around and joke that he'd dunk me in the water. Stuff that we both found fun; I never felt like he was being too pushy or doing it when I seriously wasn't in the mood. We've been together for about 3 years and this has been our dynamic the whole time.

About 6 months ago, I started at a martial arts gym that has kick boxing, krav, and bjj, and I've been going to classes a lot. I try to go to the gym 4 or 5 days a week. I'm small but the instructions are good at teaching us to work with what we got, and I've gotten pretty good at throwing my whole weight behind what I do, and leveraging my body to put a lot of power behind anything. Plus just working with physics to make yourself as hard to push around as possible. Learning to take a hit without loosing my footing, to weasel my way out of holds. It's fun learning what does and doesn't work on someone way bigger.

Even though wasn't why I started at my gym, I started getting really good at holding my own when my boyfriend and I were play wrestling.

When he'd try to pin me in bed, I can usually get out pretty quick. I was still having fun with that, I felt proud of myself generally. For using the stuff I was leaning outside of the class and having it work. And my boyfriend would pout about me pushing my way out of bed or whatever but I always thought he meant that in a playful way. (Well, some of what I was learning, obviously I left out the punching and kicking haha)

Recently, my boyfriend and I went camping with a bunch of friends and we were all laying around on beach blankets around the fire and drinking. My boyfriend playfully grabbed me from behind when I was getting up to get beers, and I was able to shove him in the stomach with my elbow then grab his jaw and push upwards leaving him off balance (imagine a pez dispenser)

Our friends were laughing about it and calling me "street fighter" and stuff, and I played up the joke, doing a couple kicks at the air when I went to get drinks. I thought we were just playing, we'd play wrestled like that for basically our whole relationship. So I didn't really make the connection as to why my boyfriend seemed to be in a bad mood when I got back.

We kept drinking and later that night my boyfriend said that he didn't like how I took it "too seriously" when he was just playing around. And it was crappy of me to do stuff like stick my pointy elbows at him and such. And just generally use stuff I'd learned at the gym on him. He said it wasn't as fun or flirty as before I started at the gym.

I said that even back then, I'd tried to wrestle back, I just didn't know what I was doing so I'd mainly flail around and shove instead of anything that works. And yeah it turns out he misses when he could overpower me like that. I said that I wasn't about to fake it, and that if he wanted to he should join me at the gym sometime. And he wasn't a fan of that, he said it wasn't fun if we'd be taking it too seriously.

I said that I couldn't just fake not knowing how to push back, and if it wasn't fun anymore we didn't have to do it anymore.

And since then, our intimacy has suffered and I think that's why. I also feel a little weird that he only enjoyed it when he could push me around and then once we were on more equal footing (him being bigger and stronger but me having better technique) he no longer thought it was fun. I don't know if that should bother me as much as it does but it feels like he prefers me weak.

Can I have some advice on how to get our playfulness and intimacy back? And whether I should be feeling so weird about things...

tl;dr My boyfriend stopped enjoying play wrestling once I started being able to hold my own. Our intimacy and playfulness in our relationship is suffering and I also feel weird about the fact that he seemed to prefer me weak

# ¿ Nov 18, 2021 02:02

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

My [21M] boyfriend let me [23F] win at a arm wrestling contest, my friend [23F] how it's going to hurt my confidence

quote:

I have been seeing this guy Roman for 4 months now, he is really sweet. His nick name is " The Gentle Hulk" not a name he wanted but people labelled him as that

He is a big guy like 6'8 and is really into body building

Today we were out with one of my friends at a coffee place , and I was talking to Roman about what movie we were going to go see tomorrow. I jokingly suggested a arm wrestle contest, he put his arm on the table and said " square up"

His arm dwarfed mine, it was like a stick compared to a log. He let me win and was like " oh no you beat me". He got up a little while later to go do something

My friend started telling me that, if he let's me win at thing's like that it will hurt my confidence. She was telling me it was really rude how he let me win and she should not treat me as "weak".

I have never dated a guy before, but is she telling the truth when she says these things?

tl;dr: My boyfriend let me win at a arm wrestling contest, and my friend started telling me that if he continues to let me win / treat me as weak it will hurt my confidence

# ¿ Nov 18, 2021 02:06

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

sigh, here we go again with those entitled indigenous peoples

# ¿ Nov 18, 2021 16:56

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Piell posted:

AITA I went with my friend to a restaurant that was originally reserved for me and my wife.

I have a really hard time reading this as anything except "my wife cheated on me using a friend as a cover and then got mad because she assumed I was using a friend as a cover to cheat on her due to projection"

# ¿ Nov 18, 2021 23:33

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

mind the walrus posted:

Definitely possible but not how I read it. I read it more as overgrown children who never had a difficult conversation about mutual relationship values before getting pregnant.

What "values" could he have violated, though? He wasn't spending time alone with a member of the opposite sex and he wasn't spending any time with his friend that he could have spent with her. Her accusations of him being "controlling" are just outright bizarre, too. It's entirely possible he's omitting something big but otherwise my money is on her being guilty about something.

# ¿ Nov 19, 2021 00:11

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

elise the great posted:

Depends on whether you were having sex in the boots at the time

so having sex with the boots is in the clear? asking for a friend

# ¿ Nov 19, 2021 16:29

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Piell posted:

AITA for not letting my son be in a photo that my daughter was not allowed in?

quote:

My BIL posted on FB that he was happy to see everyone but he wishes he could�ve gotten a family picture.

you got one, dipshit

really telling on himself here

# ¿ Nov 19, 2021 18:45

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Neito posted:

She's absolutely planning on taking something and running, or she's committing some sort of fraud.

she's probably just shitposting and watching Netflix all day :shrug:

those files weren't "lost", she just didn't do them

# ¿ Nov 20, 2021 02:49

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Skellybones posted:

I thought it was because I was asexual, I don�t want to be a rapist

sorry, to the morlock tunnels with you.

# ¿ Nov 20, 2021 19:28

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 09:27

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

carry on then posted:

There is though. Incels prove it. Obviously aside from those who were abused, or those who are dealing with gender or sexuality issues, or those who are physically disabled, among others, there is something very very deeply wrong with a man who isn't attractive enough to have had at least one partner by 20. Because that's always what it comes down to: you just aren't a good person. When the person who you have most in common with is Elliot-loving-Rodger, you don't really deserve love.

please do not spread literal incel propaganda. tia

# ¿ Nov 20, 2021 20:53

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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