r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

BabyFur Denny posted:

DICAP is a lovely lie, at least if you have a minimum of standards regarding the quality of dicks. It's incredibly hard to find decent dick.

Woah woah woah there, nobody ever said anything about decent.

# ¿ Oct 20, 2021 05:31

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 02:21

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

titty_baby_ posted:

The hobbes is a nice touch 👌

Too bad the Goon that drew that was uh... troubled.

E:

I really liked all the ones that got made for that iteration of the thread. They were really good.

# ¿ Oct 20, 2021 05:50

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Sisal Two-Step posted:

tell your mom to gently caress off. who even cares.

No, you don't get it, they're "old school" so it's okay to be a pest.

# ¿ Oct 21, 2021 18:43

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6zQ4E7iTWM

# ¿ Oct 21, 2021 19:00

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

teen witch posted:

you can only talk about the nerd on nerd violence post if you post your favorite smash stage and it CANNOT BE FINAL DESTINATION

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=it8bvHhqvwo

# ¿ Oct 22, 2021 21:59

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

The Maroon Hawk posted:

“I know you think the name Grosscock is funny, but in German, “groß” means large ”

# ¿ Oct 22, 2021 23:40

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

pentyne posted:

can't say the name of my God nor can anyone else but I can play this game with magic spells and demons.

They only play Lawful Good Fighters (no spells!) When pressed for what deity their characters worships they go for the obvious Jesus standin, Ilmater.

# ¿ Oct 22, 2021 23:51

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Play posted:

I thought it was Yahweh or YHWH or something weird lik that

It is YHWH. Some even feel Adonai is too holy to use casually, so they use Elohim instead.

# ¿ Oct 23, 2021 00:05

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Play posted:

feel like god's having a bit of an identity crisis here. Pick one name and stick to it, pal!!

YHWH was used when the Israelites had a whole rear end pantheon and he was the big dick boss. Then they decided to narrow things down and make him the capital g God, so he went to city hall and got a name change.

# ¿ Oct 23, 2021 00:09

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

because there's an absolute dearth of supernatural experiences in american culture a lot of the more hardline types have begun appropriating elements of judaism, trying to wring some novelty out of their dead-end spiritual lives.

the "spiritual warfare" crowd is so weird i absolutely believe we'll start seeing the christian media sphere start attempting to re-normalize Goetic rituals. mass exorcisms with hollywood witchspolitation aesthetics, I absolutely believe this.

Why can't they pick up the bitchin' parts where rabbis have world ending super powers and one rabbi got sad about something and telepathically wiped out a bunch of crops or some poo poo?

# ¿ Oct 23, 2021 02:28

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

RoboRodent posted:

CBD and THC oil were basically how I survived this summer's ruptured ovarian cyst. One for when I was working, one when I wasn't. Because no one would loving prescribe me anything at all even after I ended up in the ER vomiting from the pain. There, that's my free pain advice.

Checks out, I'm a cracker and I do love cheese.

* Doctor gets to the part of the chart that says "ovary", nods sagely, and marks the check box next to the word "hysterical" *

# ¿ Oct 23, 2021 17:52

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

RoboRodent posted:

It was a male doctor, so yeah, essentially.

He told me to just take Advil and I'd be fine. I was not.

Pretty sure the doctor gave Wanda Sykes loving advil after she had a double mastectomy. So loving nuts.

# ¿ Oct 23, 2021 18:35

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Man, that post is breaking the thread all over again, just like someone said it did the first time, lol

# ¿ Oct 24, 2021 12:01

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

rain dogs posted:

The dude is a dipshit at best. Like, divorce before the kid is old enough to know what's going on so both of you can live your best lives. Instead he sentenced himself to 18 years of misery to own his wife

Listen, it's like how you leave poo poo in the slow cooker to make it more tender. He was just letting that revenge get all juicy and fall-off-the-bone.

# ¿ Oct 24, 2021 20:57

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

spouse posted:

Some of the old "humor" hasn't aged well, but I'll always have a soft spot for Kevin Smith.

Every time someone mentions Kevin Smith I can't help but remember his tweet about how his wife's "brown" still "p0wns his dick".

# ¿ Oct 26, 2021 01:02

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Halloween Jack posted:

Remember Olestra?

Frito Lays made with Olestra ruined more than one couch, lmao

# ¿ Oct 26, 2021 02:45

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Dazerbeams posted:

What's the hobby you jackass?

Probably Warhammer 40k.

# ¿ Oct 27, 2021 20:51

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

cumshitter posted:

There are a surprising number of porn stars on LinkedIn and they love to share "Monday Motivation" style poo poo.

"You can do it. You can move to the next size up on your training butt plug!"

# ¿ Oct 27, 2021 21:11

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

webmeister posted:

My inlaws live on the coast (literally within 50m of the ocean) and clean their windows every couple of weeks. They get covered in salt and sea spray from the sea breezes, and the gunk builds up pretty quickly if you don't stay on top of it. Cars too, you've gotta wash the car pretty much every week.

They don't have window washer though, it's not exactly a difficult task unless you have super high windows

Sounds like your inlaws aren't getting dicked down on the reg, then.

# ¿ Oct 28, 2021 00:45

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Foo Diddley posted:

backstreet boys, menudo, new kids on the block, who the gently caress ever

their big secret was foundation and concealer

Fun Fact: One of my half-brothers was briefly in one of the iterations of Menudo.

# ¿ Oct 28, 2021 04:02

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

WaywardWoodwose posted:

When he left the band did they hit him with a shovel and throw him into a woodchipper? I heard the producer made almost all the former members into dogfood......

No, no, he's still alive. I think.

Foo Diddley posted:

lol i thought i was the only one who remembered menudo

How could anyone forget Menudo? It's what got Ricky Martin on the path to stardom!

# ¿ Oct 28, 2021 06:32

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

RenegadeStyle1 posted:

What happened Nov 2016?

We've got a whole thread about it, buddy.

# ¿ Oct 29, 2021 01:19

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

teen witch posted:

Lmao been there girl, smart move

"Wow, you don't sound b- *sound of person gagging on their teeth after you deliver a massive haymaker*"

# ¿ Oct 29, 2021 07:13

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Whorelord posted:

please for the love of god do not name your daughter mildred

Name her Mordred instead.

E: My son turns five in December. He doesn't like his middle name (George) and has decided it's now McKenzie.

# ¿ Oct 29, 2021 12:53

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Yolo Swaggins Esq posted:

I wanna be able to name kids like I name my pets, with weird, fun sounding poo poo, that don't matter. I'd name a child Vinkha if I hadn't already named my cat that.

Vinkha Mk II

E:

Zurtilik posted:

Sometimes people I don't talk to a lot will call me the wrong name and usually I won't correct them. Some tell me that's a self-esteem issue?

Sounds like you got too much self-esteem.

# ¿ Oct 29, 2021 14:12

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

tinytort posted:

He wants to take a toddler away for a month, to a completely different country.

That's a red flag for this thread, usually, that the guy is considering fleeing with the kids and not coming back.

I believe the story says "halfway across the country", so like New York to Texas or something like that. Crossing state lines with a kid like that can still raise some alarms, though.

# ¿ Oct 30, 2021 04:57

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for Banning My Son From Trick or Treating for Framing our Dog?

Yeah no, kid-shitter stays the gently caress home.

Reminds me of the post where the dude says he took a poo poo in the cat's litter box and everyone thought the cat was sick.

# ¿ Nov 1, 2021 00:25

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Everyone mad at the kid for getting schwifty.

# ¿ Nov 1, 2021 00:41

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

cumshitter posted:

in the comments the OP reveals that her boyfriend is a white hotep. He also believes white people were made by the mad scientist Jaukub.

OP's boyfriend has been reading Dr. David Thorpe's front page articles about Tooth Tooth.

# ¿ Nov 1, 2021 08:15

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Megillah Gorilla posted:

Kid is so lucky to have awesome grandparents likes that.

Otherwise, those parents were just going to gently caress that poor kid's life so hard. Not only did they put the money the grandparents were giving them for both children only to the golden child, but they were putting OP's rent towards his brother's college fund, too

They'll just use the kid's social security number to open up credit cards to pay for poo poo for the younger brother, obviously.

# ¿ Nov 2, 2021 04:30

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for selling my “brothers” guitars?

I wonder who the favorite is.

# ¿ Nov 2, 2021 20:17

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Johnny Truant posted:

lol, thanks

haha, and the bottle from my old lab is 250mg, 5x as much caffeine!

The pre-workout powder I take has 150mg per scoop. The instructions say, "Once tolerance has been assessed and you are looking for an additional boost of energy, take one additional serving (1 scoop) with serving taken before training." I don't feel jittery or anything after taking it, though. Someone said that could be a sign of having ADHD, right? When caffeine does jack poo poo to you?

# ¿ Nov 2, 2021 20:56

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

CharlestheHammer posted:

I don’t think Peter has ever been divorced.

He was seperate for a short time in the late 90s but no one liked that run

Maybe the one from the Into the Spiderverse movie?

# ¿ Nov 4, 2021 00:57

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Blastedhellscape posted:

Learn how to do oral sex! It's so simple! Jesus Christ!

Like, it used to be hard but nowadays there are probably a million tutorials out on the internet on how to perform cunnilingus or fellatio. Watch or read a few of them and you're good to go. The kids have it so easy these days.

I'm sure Dr. Ruth's got a ton of videos.

# ¿ Nov 4, 2021 03:42

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Mr. Grapes! posted:

Oooof this one hits me in the memories.

When I was a kid, I always wanted to be a board game designer. My dad had a huge collection of old Avalon Hill games from when he was a teenager in the 60s and 70s just collecting dust. Dune, Diplomacy, Panzer Blitz, some other cool classics. My brother and I would pop them open and pore over the (very complicated) rules. We'd create our own variants and test them out with our friends.

I'd also spend ages just prototyping little games. I'd create art, lore, rulebooks, make miniatures out of art supplies, etc. I'd set them up and ask my family to try them - my parents would say they would, but never once in my entire childhood did they actually sit down to try one of my creations.

They'd spend a ton of money forcing me into sports programs that I had zero interest in whatsoever and actively hated, but they decided that boardgames would rot my brain and they would harass me if they caught me playing them with my friends. I could 'earn' boardgame time by doing things they liked. For example I could play Risk for 3 hours with my friends if I spent also 3 hours shooting hoops in our driveway. All this did was really just force me to hate sports in general and avoid doing them at all times unless I was 'earning time' in front of my parents, because I'd think it would be a waste to spend an hour playing a pickup football game with my friends outside the school if my parents weren't there to witness it and earn me time-credit.

My parents were otherwise pretty cool - not abusive or anything, and they would let me rot my brain with gory horror movies, scifi books, and that sort of thing but they would just get irrationally upset about boardgames. I eventually just let them win and stopped playing them entirely because it wasn't worth the constant fights and belittlement.

Now, I am positive my little child-games sucked the same way a little kid's artwork sucks - they were probably hastily thought out, but a little bit of humoring me would have probably gone a long way.

Now flash forward to 2013 or so. Boardgames are popular and there are loads of creative designs coming out to appeal to a wide variety of people.

My parents get into boardgames and have their friends over for boardgame nights. I came over one night while we played my dad said something like "How come you never became a game designer? Looks like you could have made bank getting into this in the early days!"

And the jury acquitted you at your murder trial because you told them this story, right? I don't understand how else you could be on the the forums right now posting this anecdote. I guess you could have a contraband phone.

# ¿ Nov 4, 2021 07:28

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

TK8325 posted:

I don't get HOAs. What can they even do? Evict you from your own home? Like, just ignore them.

You sign a contract when you purchase a home under the purview of an HOA and they can put a lien on your house and I think even force you to sell.

E: We had the one story about the dude who bought a house just outside the HOA and he got to tell them go go eat poo poo.

# ¿ Nov 4, 2021 07:47

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

HOAs feel like something racists set up originally to keep POC families out of neighborhoods.

# ¿ Nov 4, 2021 08:08

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Uncle ShortyB posted:

AITA for yelling at my mom about replacing me with her new kid?

Fuckin love the fact that this 27 year old is upset his mother moved on with her life despite also hating that she was... being his parent and wanted him to do school stuff as a teenager.

She was also 18 when she got knocked up by a 25 year old, if we're being generous with the timing.

E: Not ragging on her, mind you. Just pointing out the gross age gap.

# ¿ Nov 4, 2021 14:59

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Blastedhellscape posted:

Maybe this guy's mom really was an overbearing monster when he was growing up, but he's sure not doing a good job selling that. His examples are that she pestered him to do his homework and made school lunches that he didn't like eating. Uh. Yeah. My mom did those things to and we get along fine.

It's probably what that other goon said, that the dad poisoned the OP against his mom.

# ¿ Nov 4, 2021 18:00

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 02:21

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

sean10mm posted:

The poo poo that these dudes just let people say to their spouses is unbelievable to me. I don't want to veer into internet tough guy territory here, but saying 1% of that poo poo to my spouse would at a minimum make me instantly angry.

# ¿ Nov 4, 2021 21:35

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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