quote:

I currently live in a two bedroom apartment with two roommates (married couple). For a number of reasons, right now we are temporarily all sleeping in one room. I usually eat a late-night snack around 10 PM or so but regardless, I usually wake up around 2 or 3 AM pretty hungry. The way our situation works (again for a multitude of reasons), one of my roommates has all of the snacks and I don't have any direct/easy access to any food, so I have to wake her up to give me a snack. Usually I end up waking the guy up too since we are all in the same room.

If I don't eat at 3 AM and just wait until they get up around 6 or 7 (or later) I would be very hangry/cranky the entire half of the night and literally crying because I am so hungry. Currently, neither of my roommates is working so even if I wake them up for a snack, it's not like they have anything to do in the morning so they can sleep in.

AITA for waking up my roommates for a 3 AM snack every night?

EDIT: State is MA and I am a 6 week old newborn/baby. The married couple are my parents.

quote:

My (46F) twin daughters (21F, Tori and Tami) are both in college and they are planning to do a two weeks trip to Italy. I am paying everything as a birthday gift.

My best friend Diane has a daughter (18F, Lori) and she has been worried because Lori has no friends. My daughters and Lori used to be more close when they were little but drew apart when they became teenagers. Diane asked me if my daughters could try to include Lori in their social lifes, so she isn't lonely all the time.

I called Tami about this and she felt bad about Lori, so she has been talking more to her since. They invited Lori to their dorm one time and go out with her a few times.

I thought that the next step was to invite Lori to the trip to Italy. First, I talked with Diane about it and she agreed. She said that Lori has been happier since she started seeing my daughters again. Diane said that if my daughters agreed she would paid for Lori to go to Italy with them.

But when I talked to them, they were not happy with the idea. They say that Lori is too childish and would prevent them from having more adult fun on Italy. I think they are being really selfish and mean. Also ungrateful to me, considering I am paying everything. We have been arguing and I more or less said that Lori is going with them, even if they don't want to.

Am I the rear end in a top hat?

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for telling my sister i hope she never has a child

BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

Did you miss last thread when an Irishman complained about a Karen they dealt with at work and another poster immediately identified the specific individual? The entire country’s one small town.

quote:

Her parents paid for the trip and it is quite lavish. They decided to have her brother come along. He is in the room next door.

I do not want to spend my honeymoon with her family that we just spent a week straight with. She is making me feel badly.

He is coming to most events and is very overbearing and obnoxious. I think it is pretty cut and dry that we shouldn't have to be with her brother on this trip.

He is already joining us for dinner, breakfast, a desert safari, and a boat cruise....

quote:

So I work at a chain restaurant for the past 3 years. Think Australian and steaks. The managers are all egotistical & like to treat the servers/hosts like children. One manager went on a weird hunt for a little bit making sure everyone was wearing black socks. (Our uniforms are bell bottom pants so you can’t see out socks). He would make us pull up the bottom of our pants when we clocked in for a “sock check”. I own mostly only black socks so I just happened to be following this rule most of the time.

But then I came in wearing red socks and he got mad when he “sock checked” me. He gave me the option that he gave every other worker: I can go to the store across the street and buy socks or I can go home. (Apparently every other worker has gone and bought socks when they were told).

I said I’ll go home.

He was clearly shocked and said that I will be written up for this.

I said that’s fine (because why would I ever care)

It was a Friday night and I was a closer.

BTW: I never got asked to show my socks again but they did get mad saying I left my coworkers short stuffed on a busy night. (My coworkers all said it was hysterical).

AITA for leaving my shift and leaving my coworkers stranded?

TL;DR: my manager told me I can go buy black socks or go home, so I went home and left my shift.

Edit: I’ve been there for 2 years before they ever started asking. It wasn’t something they told me about on my first day

Splicer posted:

Missed one, last sentence second paragraph. I'd guessed socks already but didn't realise it was specifically black socks

Mx. posted:

AITA for getting a man fired for telling my toddler to shut up?

Concerned Redditors posted:

Info: Is Sarah the Dinosaur okay?

No update in 13 hours about Sara.... I'm starting to panic.

I too am worried about the dinosaur OP

Can someone PLEASE update us on the situation with Sara?!

OP please hurry, this is important

OP please confirm dinosaur is OK

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

What is this dude bringing to the table in this relationship?!

quote:

So I (22F) and Bryce (23M) have been dating for about 8 months. We both go to school and work and we each have our own apartments. But because mine is closer to campus (we attend the same school) he tends to stay with me the nights before he has early classes (which as of last semester was 3 days but will change next semester)

My dog, Cas, is my baby. He’s a chihuahua who was very very underweight when I got him 4 years ago. He’s better now ut he needs special digestive food otherwise he has really bad diarrhea. A 20 lb bag costs around $60 (this will be relevant later)

I’m going to be honest and admit that my job pays well. I never bring that up with Bryce though. When we go on dates or have night outs I’m more than happy to pay and I’ve never made him pay for staying with me since it’s not really full time.

Well today I decided to buy myself a heavy coat that was about $175. It’s expensive for a coat, but I’ve been wanting it for a while and decided to spoil myself. I stopped at a pet store and bought Cas a few things (one of which was a coat that was literally $25) and went home.

So I get home and Bryce is there. He sees my stuff and out of nowhere loses his poo poo. He starts yelling at me saying “You spend way too much money on that dog. He’s got shirts, way too many toys, expensive rear end dog food, and I get jack poo poo. And now you got him a coat? Give me a loving break.”

I explained to him that I bought the coat because I need to take him on walks everyday since the vet said he’s a bit on the heavier side now. His dog food is a necessity so he doesn’t crap everywhere and then he cut me off to say “You couldn’t deal with some dog poo poo for a few months to buy me something with that money?”

And I was so thrown off because I literally got him an expensive watch for Christmas (and other things but that was the big present).

He said that it’s a dog and that he doesn’t need all the poo poo I buy and that the money I spent on the dog stuff could’ve went towards him getting a new coat too since he needed one.

I told him that he has his own job that pays him and to get himself a coat. Cas and I were not responsible in any way for him needing a new coat and it wasn’t my obligation to get him a new one. I was livid. I grabbed Cas, the emergency bag I have packed for both of us, and left (drove to my sisters house) and stayed there for the night and all of today.

Bryce called me and told me to come home so we could fix this but I told him he was being an arrogant rear end in a top hat for assuming I owe him ANYTHING. He then went off about how much of an AH I am and restated all his arguments from last night.

I truly don’t feel like or think I’m the AH and believe I just stood up for myself (and my lovely dog) but I do admit Cas is very spoiled and has lots of stuff that a lot of people would roll their eyes at. And also I feel slightly guilty that when I was shopping I didn’t even think of getting Bryce anything.

AITA?

Edit: I definitely should’ve kicked him out but I was so upset and wanted to be away from him and he was only in his underwear so he would’ve taken a long time to leave. I’m going back tomorrow morning with my sister.

Update: So I’ve talked with my sister and her husband and they told me that the best thing to do right now is stay with them until I get the locks changed. After Bryce blowing up like that when he’s NEVER spoken to me about this, the way he insulted my dog when he knows Cas is my everything, combined with the fact that in the 8 months we’ve been together he has had minor anger/temper issues (they were just never directed at me), I’ve decided I’m going to end things. Especially after seeing your comments about him possibly hurting Cas, that’s not a chance I’m willing to take. It’s 2:30 AM right now so I’ll be arranging my locks to get changed when the store opens and I’ll be calling Bryce to inform him. Thank you guys so much for you opinions. I genuinely wouldn’t have even thought about the fact he could hurt Cas via his food or saying he ran away so I’m beyond grateful ❤️

Evil Willow posted:

AITA For asking my GF how much she spends on essential oils when her budget is getting tighter

quote:

For context, a relative of what used to be a close friend of mine whom we'll call Gary for this story contracted cancer. I (Mid-20s male) was sympathetic and even contributed $100 to a donation pool for their treatment. But Gary came to me one day and took his hat off to reveal a freshly shaven head. He told me that everyone in his family were doing it in support of his relative, and so were a lot of our mutual friends. Then he asked that I get on the bandwagon.

I told him I didn't want to shave my head because I like my hair. My hair is black, regularly combed and well styled. He said I could just get a wig or something and had actually brought his shaver kit. He was unboxing it when I told him this was not happening. I don't even really know his relative that he's doing this for. So I'm not doing it, end of discussion. He called me an &$$hole and left angry. We didn't speak for a week. Then last Saturday I got invited to a party at another close friend's house. There I found out that Gary had tried the same thing on several other friends, and only a couple of them actually did shave their heads.

Gary wasn't at the party, so I had a blast hanging out, playing video games and listening to rock music. But I had way too much to drink and couldn't drive home. So they said I could just sleep upstairs. I passed out on a bed and it was a blissful sleep till I was shaken awake by another friend who told me Gary had showed up late and they caught him shaving my head while I was passed out. I saw what I looked like in a mirror and wanted to scream like I was in a horror movie. Gary even shaved off one of my eyebrows.

Gary was still there and acting proud of himself saying "Now you're gonna have to shave off the rest, just like me! LOL!" I was furious and called the cops. When they got their Gary fully admitted to what he had done to me and even said he was justified. The police didn't seem to think so as this is classified as a form of assault. They asked me if I wanted to press charges and the first words out of my mouth were "HELL YES!" Gary cussed me out while they took him away in cuffs. I tried getting my hair restyled into something presentable. But there was no saving it and now I'm bald too.

Now a bunch of Gary's family are telling me to drop the charges because Gary was off his meds and didn't mean to do it. I was like "WTF?!" because I never knew he was on meds. But I still refused to drop the charges. It'll take months to grow my hair back the way it was. But all of the calls and messages from Gary's relatives are starting to get to me. Just about everyone else in our friend group has cut Gary out though and say that I'm doing the right thing by not dropping the charges. So now I'm divided.

AITA for pressing charges on a former friend for shaving my head in my sleep?

EDIT: I want to make something clear here. So many people have said things like "Dude it's just hair!". But would they all be saying that if I wasn't a man? What if I was some girl that had hair that took years to grow? Would they be saying the same thing? Sure hair grows back. But it takes time. If it was something that grew back fast, people would be less inclined to care. But it's not fast. It takes months. And for some who had long hair, years. That's a lot of time wasted growing.

And I don't plan on pushing for Gary to go to prison. But I don't plan to drop the charges either. His family already bailed him out. And while I didn't know he was on meds, I knew he had quite the temper, and even an entitled attitude at times. One example being a lunch where he wanted us all to combine the check and split it evenly. He got the most expensive thing on the menu. I got a cheeseburger. When we all said "No" Gary went off on us for not being good friends. He's always been an rear end when he doesn't get his way. And I've only known him for like three years. This incident was the last straw for not just me, but a lot of other mutual friends.

As for the charges. I don't want to send Gary to prison. But I would like him to get some therapy and community service. With the way Gary has acted around me in the past, and what he did to me, I actually wonder how long before he got more violent. I've seen and heard of him getting in fights for less.

Skutter posted:

AITA for telling a dietitian that his advice about weight loss is useless?

Husband's post:
AITA for asking my girlfriend to lose weight?

quote:

We are both 28 and have been together for 5.5 years. We are both average looking people, average weights and heights. This is relevant.

It started when he asked me to lose weight. I have admittedly gained around 4 kg during the pandemic because of working more (I’m a doctor) and having less energy to work out but I’m still in a normal weight. I have always been insecure about my body and suffered from some disordered eating in high school, but I thought my body is healthy and supporting me so why should I hate it? Well that didn’t last long, since he had been pestering me to lose weight for a few months. It’s actually not that easy and I find myself overthinking everything I eat.

Then he went after my clothes. I don’t like wearing tight clothes because of said body issues. His mother and his female friends are more girly than me, dressing more femininely and doing their makeup while I’m not very interested in fashion. He told me he hates my clothes and they make me look older and bigger. Then it was the fact that I don’t enjoy doing my make up on a daily basis. I’ll do it when we go out but not for work etc. He wishes I put more effort in my appearance while I’m exhausted from seeing people dying from COVID.

Then it was my facial hair, which I don’t even think I have. We all have peach fuzz but I have no interest in shaving it. And last but not least… he asked me if I would consider having a breast reduction surgery. I mean, my chest isn’t even that big. Sometimes I wish it was smaller so I could wear more open clothes in the summer but other than that it doesn’t really bother me, but nowadays I look myself in the mirror and I don’t even know if I like what I see.

He still has some acne on his face and I suggested some products that would help him and he got upset because he thought I was humiliating him. I asked him to come to the gym with me because it would be good for his health and again he became upset. He says I don’t accept constructive criticism about my appearance and that I cry a lot but he puts no effort in his appearance whatsoever. The problem is that we really love each other, other than this issue he treats me with so much love and care.

Any advice from people with similar issues are welcome.

quote:

I (24M) went on a night out with my new girlfriend Hannah (27F) and a few of her friends. When we were at our table we noticed some loud women a few tables down. Hannah and her friends were worried because they were the girls who picked on them at school. We decided to stick around for the moment as long as they didn't notice us, and leave if there was any trouble.

Hannah came back later, and said she'd bumped into Nicole (her main bully) at the bar, who tried to pick on her again and called her by the awful name those girls made up for her. We decided to leave and go somewhere else.

Later it was the early hours of the morning. We were all very drunk and wanted to get home. We found Nicole stumbling around outside a club in tears. She heard Hannah's voice and came up to us. She was extremely drunk and had gotten separated from her friends and her phone had died. Worse than that, she'd ended up losing her glasses in the club. She couldn't see well enough to get to a cab or make her way home.

She pleaded with Hannah for help but still called her by that nickname. Hannah wanted to leave her but I couldn't just leave her outside blinded and drunk. I got an uber and jumped in with Hannah and Nicole. We went to Nicole's house and her mum was extremely grateful for us looking after her daughter.

After we got back to Hannah's place, Hannah exploded at me for helping Nicole, and "making her" sit in a car with the girl who made her life hell in school. I argued that Nicole was alone, blind without her glasses, drunk, and her phone was dead. She was completely helpless and vulnerable. I'd want someone to help Hannah if she was in the same position.

I understand that Nicole treated Hannah awfully when they were kids, but it was about doing the decent thing.

quote:

I (26f) and my mom(50f) have been fighting over whose role is what when it comes to raising my son. A little context when I was 3, DHS came and took me and my older brother away from her and she didn't get custody back till I was 15. She also had a third child that she gave up for adoption before the child was even born. Fast forward to now, my son(5) is in the middle of a tug of war between me and my mom.

She buys ticket for concerts and events to go to with my son and never tells me till day of. I'm never invited to go either. She will override EVERYTHING I say and doesn't care about my parenting choices. She insists hes only allowed to watch 90s cartoons and movies. The now days movies suck. I snapped oneday when she tried to take his minecraft hoodie and throw it away, saying "its trash and my child wouldn't be caught dead wearing it," I shouted "my child is not your do over baby. Hes allowed to like whatever he wants from his OWN decade. Stop trying to relive your parenting time with your grandson. You had three chances to raise a child but never stepped up to the plate. Now start acting like a grandmother and not a mother before I move across the country and treat you like a holiday relative."

My aunt insisted I went to far by digging up my mother's past. but my brother agrees with me saying I'm the only one putting the hard work(ie paying the the bills, cooking cleaning, discipline, homework, ect) as a parent but she takes all of my sons free time to do things without my consent and ignores my wishes as the true parent. So am I the rear end in a top hat?

quote:

UPDATE:

Thank you everyone who commented on my old post. I read as many of the comments as I could and took each into consideration. Thanks for helping me realize that what I did to Zach was majorly wrong.

I know this update is early but honestly everything that needed to happen, happened already. After realizing what an rear end in a top hat I was I wanted to try and fix things asap.

So I thought of things I could physically give to Zach along with a long apology to show how sorry I was.

Since I love painting, I spent last night making him one on a canvas. It was a pretty creative spin-off to the world that he unlocked in the game. I added a cool background to it and changed up a few things to make it look really cool. After that, I also wrote a mini love note.

This morning I went to buy something as well. He had been planning to buy this new video game in the future so I bought it for him.

On my way home I also bought a bouquet of flowers (lavenders since purple is his fav color) for him.

When I got home, I wrapped the game and canvas and put it in a bag. Then I called Zach and asked if I could come over for a bit. Zach has been quieter with me since the incident but he agreed anyway.

I drove over there with my gifts. Before giving the gifts, I wanted to apologize.

I told him how horrible it was of me to say what I said that day and that if I could take it back I would. I also told him how much I love seeing him happy and that I didn't know what came over me. I said that if he ever had anything he wanted to talk to me about with gaming I'd be happy to listen. I did say that since I'm not a gamer, I won't understand but to please tell me anything anyway. I also apologized for thinking he was guilting me by being sad (so stupid of me!!)

I was apologizing and rambling for a good ten-ish minutes and by the end we were tearing up.

Then I gave him my gifts. He loved the flowers, painting and note and was very excited about the game. He told me "thank you" and said he loved everything which made me smile and cry a little since I still felt bad.

Zach told me he was very relieved to hear everything I just said since he'd been thinking about it. We talked more about how everything made him feel in the moment and I apologized more and tried to reassure him. He smiled and told me it was ok.

I told him I'd understand if he wants to break up over this but he said he doesn't want to. He just said to try and be nicer about it next time which ofc I will. We made a few small compromises to make sure none of that happened again.

We hugged and kissed and I apologized more. I suggested playing the new game together and he happily agreed.

Everyone probably wanted him to leave me but I'm happy to say he didn't he's giving me another chance and I'll be sure not to blow it

Thanks again.

Mr. Grapes! posted:

Anyone who censors the word 'sex' is an rear end in a top hat. Unless she is censoring the word 'sax', which makes me think that this story might be pretty cool.

quote:

First Post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/t55npl/aita_for_gifting_my_mom_and_her_husband_a_book_on/

Posting this now cause people keep messaging me about it. The day after I posted I let my gf read it and she was like stay with me dummy. I told my dad, he said I could stay there and sent my gf's mom an email. At my mom's home I told her, she got really sad but said ok she'd drive me and sent an email too. I still wanted to talk alone to my mom like people said to.

As she drove I wanted to talk like the school counselor helped me write a letter to read (like some people said to) but I just froze and she drove to a parking lot and started talking. She said a lot of stuff about the book, about still seeing me like I'm her baby, her not actually being happy and about us but ended with her saying its ok for me to hate her for what she did cause she hurt me and she'd never push to be my mom again but if I ever wanted she'd be there for me. But I don't hate her I love her so I started crying really bad I've never had a breakdown but I think that's what it was. I remember her taking me to the backseat and hugging me and me trying to say I love her while crying but its a blur. She calmed me down and I told her how I feel and I do want her to be my mom just I hate her husband and I don't want a train to hit her I even told her about when she tried to cuddle and how I feel bad now cause that'll never happen again cause I'm never going back to her house. She told me she knew I was awake and was mad at her so I started crying again. She told me it was ok and she's wrong and we talked a lot but I kept crying so she got me advil cause my head started hurting. She seemed sad I hate her husband but got really mad at him when I told her all the mean things he's said to me and said she'd never let him get between us again. She said she'd take me to therapy with just her no matter what dad says and to spend time with me alone.

She dropped me off and I've felt better since I stayed there until my dad came back. My dad promised never to send me there again and to stay at my gf's if my grandparents stay in Italy. He agreed to let me do family therapy with my mom but he said he'd ensure its appropriate. We haven't started it yet, but my mom has kept her promise to spend time with me so far and it does make me feel happier.

I didn't think the last post would blow up like it did so I hope with this update you guys don't have to worry much anymore cause I think it's getting better.

quote:

I (20m) has two younger siblings, "Joe" and "Jill". They're twins, both 18 and graduating high school this year. Jill is my parent's favorite, because they've always wanted a daughter, while Joe is their scapegoat, because I guess he's the bonus baby they never actually asked for. I'm mostly better off than Joe, as I'm the oldest grandson from both sides of my family, almost all of whom are just as blantant as my parents are about their favoritism.

I felt really bad for Joe, so I did what I could to make him feel less alone. Like when Jill got to go shopping with mommy and daddy, I took Joe skating with my friends. When our parents were too busy watching Jill's kiddie pageant, I dragged my best bud to sit through Joe's elementary school musical. Small things like that. It all started as pity moves, but soon my friends pretty much like Joe better than me, while Jill's princess syndrome got in her head, so now I spend more time with Joe because I simply like him better than Jill. Never said it out loud, but I don't make it a secret either that I prefer not to spend my time with entitled brats.

Anyway, like I said they're graduating soon. They both already had their choice of college, accomodations, etc. Jill's going to a uni in SF, fully funded by our parents, unsurprisingly. Joe's going to the same Uni as mine in Seattle, but different campus just 20ish minutes away. He got a full ride, which apparently makes him ineligible to get any financial help from his own parents. This is also hardly surprising, so I made some calls to ask around, see if anyone is hiring next fall. I did this while on facetime with Joe. I was reassuring him that we'll find him a job that don't suck and pays enough, that he's better off without dad's money anyway because we both know it comes with strings attached, that this way, mom and dad wouldn't be able to stick their noses into his purchases. I got him to feel better about the whole thing and logged off.

I guess Jill overheard, because the next day she sent me texts after texts demanding I help her find jobs as well because she doesn't want dad "nagging her". When I told her, politely btw, that I don't know anyone in SF, and that she'd get more help from mom and dad, she blew up, saying all these things about me favoring Joe over her, which, yeah. It's true. I love both of my siblings, but I don't particularly like Jill. It's not like she's making herself likeable, though, so AITA?

quote:

7 years ago when I got married, MIL and I got into a huge fight over her bringing a date to the wedding. I wanted to keep things small and personal and she wanted to bring a date. This fight really escalated into craziness and tore the family apart. She didn't speak to her own mother for 5 months, got in a screaming match with her son, and she ended up not coming to the wedding. MIL told me very clearly to never speak to her again, so i respected that.

We still see her sometimes if we are at the same event, but we have literally never spoken to her again. She doesn't speak to us. My oldest child is aware that she is her grandmother, but my younger one doesn't even know who she is. She has a husband I've never spoken a word to. I don't really care if she doesn't.

Recently we had a family function and my younger child had a medical emergency. It was the scariest moment of my life but MIL was able to do compressions on her. she is an ER doctor and I'm so beyond thankful she was there. I did say thank you in the moment, but I wasn't sure if she heard me. I went over to her after and said that despite everything between us I just wanted to say thank you.

MIL was standing with her brother who said "didn't she tell you to never speak to her again?" MIL got an attitude and said that she would have done that for anyone because it is literally her job and she doesn't need to be thanked and felt it was "performative" MIL's husband who I've never talked to in my life, snapped at me and said you don't need to thank someone for doing their job and that I have a lot of nerve talking to her.

i was shocked they were being so rude about it. MIL's dad tried to brush it off and said she had "social anxiety" (I won't say she doesn't, but this is the first time I am seeing it or hearing about it) and that they were just acting like that because she was stressed having to talk to me, but I'm not sure if I really believe that. He also said what I said was weird because it implied that she might have just let her die because of our issues.

Vim Fuego posted:

TIFU by playing Truth or Dare with my boyfriend

Hughlander posted:

My husband says I cheated because I texted my ex in Ukraine.


UPDATE

quote:

My (16M) stepmother (47F) and father (47M) ran a small shop in our neighbourhood that has recently been doing very badly, for a number of reasons I won’t get into.

Because of this, they no longer have the money for me to stay with them and support me. I’m supposed to live with my sister (26F) who is married (29M) and has two kids (7F and 4M).

I’ve never liked my sister, and she never liked me, so I’m pretty sure my parents made a deal with her or something to take me in. She’s extremely egotistic and constantly insults me and makes snide comments about my height, appearance, social skills etc etc. Usually I just pretend she doesn’t exist every time we have family reunions and it’s never really a problem. It’s just a mutual thing that we hate each other and don’t want anything to do with each other.

My half brother (22M) (my bio mother and her husband) and I have a good relationship. He was far more of an older sibling than my sister was. I visit him often and we’re generally quite close.

Once he heard about everything, he offered to have me stay with him. So for background information, I have a scholarship exam coming up, and I’d really like to get it, so I’ve been studying non stop each day. If I were to stay with my sister, it would definitely affect my studying plan (2 kids, her husband and her are somehow always ‘rearranging the house’ and they’re really big on dogs that bark a lot). So I was relieved to hear that my half brother would be willing to let me stay at his place.

I thought my parents would be really happy too, but they seem really against it because they think he’s a bad influence (he’s an artist and very flamboyant) and I’m being ungrateful by playing favourites. They’re Asian too, so they’re very big on the whole “blood runs thicker than water” thing, so they firmly want me to go with my sister. My sister is also pissed because she says she’s already being generous by letting me stay at her place and not wanting to stay with her shows her that I’m taking advantage of her kindness.

I can see how it may seem ungrateful that I chose someone over my sister but I don’t see what all the fuss is about. Everyone says that I’m in the wrong for being selfish but honestly I don’t see how that’s the case. AITA?

edit: sorry for not clarifying my my family tree more clearly haha! My half brother and I share the same bio mom and my sister and I share the same bio mom and dad. As for how I’m younger than my half brother, there was a period in time where my bio mom and dad got back together but then split up again. Currently my bio mom has another husband who’s my half brothers bio dad that she dated + married after my mum and dad divorced. Then THEY divorced and my mom got back together with my bio dad. Then another divorce and my half brothers dad and bio mom got back together. Sorry everything’s kind of confusing ahahaha it’s failed marriage paradise here

quote:

I (29M) have a father (67M) who has always been a huge control freak over most aspects of my life. It's always his way, or the highway. Yes, even as I am almost about to turn 30, he always asks questions about things that he finds or that I do with my life. He has consistently went through my personal items as well growing up and even now.

Well, I've honestly been tired of it. As I have lived away from him, the stuff I have collected as someone who is gay, has a boyfriend, into a lot of interesting things... you get the picture. My dildos, plugs, pup hoods, handcuffs, you name it, is in that box.

So this weekend... my father decided to visit me for an extended weekend. And of course, he has questioned everything I have organized and how I have done it to which I say, if you want to clean it or do better, be my guest; I'll be at my computer gaming. I also told him to please not go through my certain box in the back closet, but he could clean and do whatever he wants with the rest of my closet/apartment.

I go outside to get the mail and come back, and there he is with a clearly traumatized look on his face as he sees one of my dildos and pup hoods as my box I told him not to go into is completely open. He asked if it was for my girlfriend (still refuses to accept I am gay) and I say no, my BF and I use that. I then added that it serves him right for feeling the way he is after I told him clearly to not go through that box, and that he should respect the privacy I should have as someone who is turning 30 and is independent.

We were going to go sightseeing in my town but now he's in the main room just staring down at the floor clearly upset by what I said to him. However, I clearly told him to not go through my stuff, and he did, so I feel like he has no one to blame but himself. AITA?

quote:

NTA. The radical change in lifestyle without thinking about how it affects your partnership makes her a huge AH. Don’t get me wrong, she can believe what she wants, but her belief that you will just change your whole world view suddenly and without warning is completely unreasonable, especially because beliefs of Jehovah’s witnesses affect their daily life too. Were there really no warning signs?

quote:

She was raised as one, been inactive for many many years. I respected her beliefs and understood she may one day look for it again. She mentioned a desire to attend a few meetings, which I was fine with. And then she had committed herself mind, body and soul and any problem I had with that was my own.

quote:

Info requested:

So it actually didn't come out of nowhere, then? She had a history as a JW and the two of you discussed her desire to attend a few meetings. You should put that in your post. It makes a difference. It also explains why you went nuclear.

Also, have their been any major issues or life events that happened lately (besides the beer named panni)? Did someone die, has she been depressed? How was she around her birthday? You said you discussed her having a desire to attend a few meetings. Did she say why? What prompted the desire?

quote:

No idea beyond the fear programmed into her as a child come screaming back into her heart. Beyond saying she wanted to attend a few meetings, no clue at all of this sort of decision

Megillah Gorilla posted:

What's rule 11?

Captain Hygiene posted:

This one's just weird, like, what is even going on with that candy grift

Skutter posted:

AITA for not using the proper adjectives describing a hot water kettle?

quote:

Thanks for your concern. This is just a new hurdle for us. We're newly moved in together and we are both unfamiliar with the household gadgets that the other has brought with them. I am an avid tea drinker so I have an electric kettle.

As you said, she calmed down. Came back and laughed it out. Her sister still doesnt like me for other reasons. She explained that her hands were cold and despite my best attempt at a warning interpreted "warm" as safe. Luckily her hands weren't actually burnt, she just got a very warm surprise. Now both of us understand where we mean. Also she won't be grabbing the kettle by the sides anymore.

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So there’s a new cashier at a local grocery store, and she’s admittedly good looking and nice. I (m23) was shopping there with my (m24) friend a while ago and ever since then he’s been ecstatic about going there. He’s obviously into her, and he’s going on and on about how she’s into him too.

The thing is, she’s just being nice to him. She’s nice to me too. It’s her job, right?

My friend has been saying things like, he’s learning her schedule and that she always makes his day. He also wants to ask for her number. I tell him that the only reason she’s being nice to him is because it’s her job. He’s a customer. She’s nice to everyone. He needs to get over his obsession. He got really upset, called me an ah, said I’m jealous etc.

And so, I work at an adult shop, right? We get a looot of weird customers. I’ve experienced harassment at work and even more so has my female coworkers. So I know what it feels like, and I’ve seen real stalker behaviour. We can’t have our girls closing alone because some people wait outside just to be creeps. I tell this to my friend to explain my reasoning. He needs to respect this girls workplace.

He still doesn’t get it. Says he’d never be one of those and that he knows she’s into him too and I’m trying to steal her by being a “nice guy”. He basically stopped talking to me just because I told him to be respectful. I mean SURE, she could very well be into him. But let her take the lead then.

Am I an ah for saying all that? I really don’t think I am, but a couple of our friends said it’s none of my business and I should let him figure it out himself.

Invisible Clergy posted:

My [28F] boyfriend [27M] of three years refused to pull over while he was driving, pissed himself, and then kinda blamed me for it.

quote:

I deleted the original post because I was afraid he was going to see it, but in case it is still visible:

That thread blew up wayyy more than I thought it would. I had originally posted it before six months ago when the incident originally happened and didn't get any response - so I truly thought I was underreacting and kind of swallowed my concerns.. but over time they kept creeping up.. and I started noticing more and more that everything was my fault in his life so I decided to re-post it again. This post really affirmed what I knew but didn't want to accept for whatever reason - that the relationship had to end.

The thread made me think a lot about my life and what our life together would look like. All I could think about was this (his pissing himself) happening again in the future. I thought about us having children and how he would deal with them. I thought about having to make tough decisions with him. I thought about making tough financial decisions. I thought about having to go through tough life events like losing a parent. I realized that I would always be blamed for things that went wrong, even though they were not my fault or in my control and that he wasn't someone I could truly rely on for support. It just took him to literally, and purposefully, lose control of his own bladder for me to see this.

I broke up with him a few days after the original post. I told him I wasn't happy with the relationship anymore and that I wanted out. He didn't really fight or ask why, so it was a surprisingly easy break up. He has had other issues in his life and refuses in general the idea of therapy, so I didn't even suggest it for whatever issues he has going on when I ended it. Not really my problem or concern anymore.

Despite being together three years, I was surprised with how relieved I felt when I let it go (pun totally intended!). I think I mourned the relationship for a day or two, and I've been totally fine since. I've been hitting the gym almost every day at lunch and have had plans every night with friends or family (I generally am a social person) so I really haven't let the loss of this relationship get me down.

I guess if anything, this whole thing has really opened my eyes to trusting my gut and my instincts. I knew him pissing himself was hosed up, and I knew and felt like he was blaming me. I should have trusted my gut and ended it right then and there when he truly showed me who he was.

tl;dr: Boyfriend pissed himself and blamed me. Broke up with him a few days later. I'm totally fine.

Mx. posted:

AITA for emasculating my husband.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Baron von Eevl posted:

I'll agree, Indiana and Iowa are both far worse than Ohio. Ohio has Cleveland which isn't the greatest city but has some value, like a slightly grimier Milwaukee. Indiana is just 140 miles of cow poo poo, corn, and lunatic Christian supremacists.

quote:

I(22F) am from south Asia. People around here frequent local languages but many speak English as a second language. I myself speak 7 languages including English and Korean. My family was going for a vocation overseas while I had college entrance exam. So my uncle offered me to stay at theirs after it as my family wouldn't be here. I went to their summer house and my cousins(their 3 sons) are like older brothers to me. One of them taught me how to ride horses, another how to aim and the other one gave me access to his massive anime collection which I absolutely LOVE!!!

My aunt told me her brother from America is coming to visit with kids in a few days as well. 2 days later I was watching anime on my laptop with headphones and this 24 yo(let's call him frank) taps my shoulder and asks me, "Do you guys really get Anime here in Punjabi?" Before I'd reply he added,"O! My bad you mustn't know English cause people here are illiterate." I being a petty person in hardcore punjabi replied, "I don't know what you are saying." in punjabi. He scoffed and left. He said many inappropriate things along with his sister about me and the staff at home all day thinking I didn't understand any.

Next day at the breakfast table my uncle asked me if I had introduced myself to the guests they were talking in English, I replied in the respective lang that, "No cause I was too illiterate to introduce myself in eng." Regardless to say frank and his sisters freaked out. Frank and his sisters yelled at me to making a fool out of them and left the room. They are refusing to come out and their mother has been calling me AH and asking me to apologise for making them feel bad on their vocation. My aunt, uncle and cousins don't think I have done anything wrong and are fine even if I don't apologise but now I kind of feel bad about this. So reddit AITA?