MadSparkle posted:

Your cat just isn't into you

quote:

My (32F) husband (30M) of two years and I decided to take a workout class together. He ogled a woman the whole class and I can't shake the feeling.

Throwaway account. I have been in the process of losing weight and have been feeling really great about my progress. I had been working out from home and my husband suggested we get out and take a class. There was a great yoga studio near us that had a special and we signed up.

The first couple classes were amazing and I was smitten with yoga after. We both felt so relaxed and great, my husband was even surprised he enjoyed it. For the record, my husband and I have a really solid relationship. I feel like we have a deep connection and being very intuitive I can sense things and we are very communicative about any problems. He had always been respectful of me and never has seemed to have a wandering eye that I notice at least.

Well, one night at a class we are all starting to move and flow on our mats. I am feeling the burn and as we are turning all the same direction and holding a position my husband was turned away from me and I notice he is not looking straight ahead like everyone else. Naturally, I follow his gaze and notice a fit young woman who has stripped down to nothing but her skimpy sports bra and skin tight yoga pants. I was like, ok fair enough, that's hard not to notice and kept going.

One time looking is nbd and understandable. But throughout the class I keep seeing my husband looking over and staring with every opportunity he gets. I start to grow annoyed and even embarrassed hoping nobody is noticing what I am. We are talking a whole hour and 10 minutes of him looking every chance he can. We get home and he can tell I'm not as enthusiastic as I was at the initial classes and I bring to his attention I couldn't really get into it when I kept seeing him ogle the woman to our right the whole class.

His face said it all, he stuttered a weak response about just maybe looking to see the correct pose, and then once he saw the BS meter go off on my face immediately said he was sorry and he shouldn't have been doing that. Hearing him admit he was doing it actually really sucked. I wanted him to actually say I was crazy and it wasn't the case like I thought.

I find myself to be a beautiful woman. I am tall, attractive, stylish and am a fun person that has never had a problem with attracting men and women alike. We have been together a long time and though I know my husband deeply cares for me, he hasn't really made me feel lately like I'm as sexy as I try to be with him. So to see him seemingly lusting over someone right in front of me, it was a real blow to my ego and emotions especially after really making the effort to be as hot as possible and working for months at it prior. Here are the things that upset me most:

-I don't feel he has ever looked at me that way, and it hurts -I felt like I could trust him in a setting like this and am embarrassed he may have been seen and thought disrespectful by others there -I am mad that this has seemingly ruined something I was really enjoying and now I feel like I can't keep going, at least with him as I would now be unable to fully get into it without concerning myself with him -I feel insecure and now am struggling with anxiety over being attractive enough to him -If he is so ok with staring at this woman with me right next to him, what is he really like when I am NOT there? Can I trust him etc. -I feel like if I am having sex with him he may be thinking about this real woman (not whimsical/unattainable porn) and using me for this fantasy, not ok with that

We talked through these feelings for a whole evening. And even after apologies and him wanting to make things better, I just still feel a sting of resentment and feeling that I want to completely disconnect from him. Maybe as a mode of protection from further emotional hurt?

I know a lot of people are going to say 'big deal' he was looking not touching get over it. But regardless of me saying that to myself I can't shake all the other feelings I listed above and I really just don't like him right now. Not to mention that this all happened a night before my birthday, so there's that too. Has anyone else been through this? How did you deal with it? Were you able to rekindle the love after the hurt of feeling like your trust in one area was broken?

TL;DR watched my husband continually stare at a woman in yoga class. Feeling like he's ruined this for us and all the other lovely feelings that come with seeing your husband be into someone that's not you. This all after working months to be more fit and attractive.

subhuman filth posted:

Hell, I eat pieces of my own body all the time

Gaunab posted:

Mirthless posted:

Man, it's understandable to have a glance but if you're staring for a whole hour that's full on into creeper territory and that's not accounting for the fact that his wife was sitting directly adjacent to him.

What in the hell, dude.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

circus freakery just doesn't pay like it used to, this economy right?

purple death ray posted:

you have either never had a cat or you were lovely to your cats. my cat loves me

Gaunab posted:

ArbitraryC posted:

I was gonna assume she was blowin it way out of proportion but he actually copped to it, that's amazing I can't imagine the gall of just lazering in on a girl's rear end an entire yoga class.

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

I [16M] spilled warm water on my brothers [16M] crotch as a prank. Mom is furious because it was warmer than I thought it was.

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

I [16M] spilled warm water on my brothers [16M] crotch as a prank. Mom is furious because it was warmer than I thought it was.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

Poop doesn't count as a body part

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

Poop doesn't count as a body part

Dienes posted:

I love the "She's at the ER with our brother and he burnt his dick apparently."

Yes, HE burnt his dick. He did it. Not the person that deliberately spilled burning hot liquid on his junk.

Mirthless posted:

imagine what the other women in the yoga class must have thought

there's no way they can ever go back

ArbitraryC posted:

I was gonna assume she was blowin it way out of proportion but he actually copped to it, that's amazing I can't imagine the gall of just lazering in on a girl's rear end an entire yoga class.

54 40 or gently caress posted:

I feel confused, they mentioned a stepmom as well. So is it their stepbrother they did this to?

P-Mack posted:

your supposed to spread your creeping out over multiple asses, or like bounce it off a mirror or something, you know have some strategy

this dude got target fixation like a fighter pilot, crashing and burning

Antivehicular posted:

This mom is great. I'm going to file that next to "play stupid games, win stupid prizes," which is my new favorite phrase.

Hug in a Can posted:

"Stupid games, stupid prizes" isn't a bad phrase on its own, but Khorne is right to point out that saying it will make you sound like you roll with a bad and racist crowd.

The stupidest game is acting like you're beyond caring about how you're perceived, and your prize will be "bad friends"

Mirthless posted:

the problem is that the phrase originated on reddit, which is largely the same place the alt-right originated. of course there's going to be overlap. there's no racist meaning to the phrase and attributing it to racism or racists is dumb.

seriously it's like you guys look for reasons to get mad about poo poo sometimes

Mirthless posted:

the problem is that the phrase originated on reddit, which is largely the same place the alt-right originated. of course there's going to be overlap. there's no racist meaning to the phrase and attributing it to racism or racists is dumb.

seriously it's like you guys look for reasons to get mad about poo poo sometimes

Barudak posted:

The story makes more sense if you assume this is true because then its a tale of a kid pettily trying to gently caress up his step-brother whom he probably loathes in a way he hopes he can play off as a "prank".

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

I [16M] spilled warm water on my brothers [16M] crotch as a prank. Mom is furious because it was warmer than I thought it was.

quote:

My younger brother and I like to play pranks on my twin. 

Beachcomber posted:

Mirthless posted:

that bit kind of hosed me off, aren't twins supposed to like each other extra? you don't pour hot coffee on the dick of somebody you like

i mean unless they're into that kind of thing

Beachcomber posted:

I've only known one (1) set of identical twins, but they went through hardcore individualization in high school and were pretty rocky for awhile. I think he probably only wanted to embarrass him, but, you know, didn't do it right.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

guess now we know which one's the evil twin

quote:

We have only been sexually active for about a month but I have never been with a man who says he doesn't want his penis touched. When he is flaccid he won't let me go near his genitals like at all. He moves my hand away or just says "Not yet." I've asked him about it and he has told me that it feels weird to touch him there when he isn't erect.

One night I started rubbing him through his jeans and offered to give him a blow job. He pushed my hand away and said no because he wanted to go to the gas station to get an energy drink and also had to go to the bathroom. Last night we were trying to have sex and as usual he doesn't let me rub him to get him warmed up. He doesn't like to do missionary either. I just want to do that position one time, yet everytime we try he goes soft. We did end up having sex after some effort but when I wanted to go again (he came quickly) he refused. Don't get me wrong I was satisfied, since he took the time to get me to orgasm. But I wanted us to orgasm together through sex. So I tried to give him a blowjob or get him hard again after waiting some time and he got mad at me and said, "It's not going to happen so just stop."

I just find it strange because I have never encountered this with any sexual partner. I have always been able to satisfy past partners and get them ready for round two. And I have never been denied a blow job. I get if you have to go to the bathroom but it just seemed like an excuse. How am I supposed to engage in foreplay with my partner if I can't even touch him? Like, I have to wait for him to be hard to touch him? There goes suprise blow jobs or quickie sex for that matter.

I have told him that I like his penis and it feels good for me to make him feel good. I also told him I like to get my partner ready for sex. I asked him if it was anything that I was doing wrong and he said no. I asked if he finds it demeaning for me to touch his penis or to give him head and he said no. It's frustrating, I like to give blow jobs yet I can't touch him unless he's hard. It just makes me feel like crap because I feel like I'm not satisfying my partner. I don't want to make him uncomfortable or force him to do something he doesn't want to but c'mon I can't touch you? I feel like this is a deal breaker but I feel bad for thinking that. I like this guy a lot but if we aren't sexually compatible it's not going to work out. Hell it's been only 3 months and we are already having issues which worries me.

Does this sound like he has been sexually abused? Does he possibly need to talk to a professional? Has anybody ever been in a situation like this? I'd really appreciate some advice.

tl;dr: He won't let me touch his penis unless he's hard.

quote:

My boyfriend is a lot like this. It kind of hurt my feelings until he told me that he's really ticklish. If he's not in the mood and I go to touch mr happy, my SO just about falls off his chair [laughing]. He's so. Stinking. Ticklish.

Clocks posted:

Huh, is it wrong that when I first read that phrase it also instantly became my new favorite? It just describes that situation (and others, I'm sure) so well.

ArbitraryC posted:

It's just amazing, like the title sounds like a huge exaggeration, the post is super wordy, and it starts with her talking about recent weight loss + him suggesting they did a public class together. Occam's razor between her just being insecure and overly jealous vs her hubby just blatantly eye loving yoga girls for an entire hour seemed like an easy bet, then he just straights up admit that's exactly what he was doing. How do you get to be 30 years old and not understand that not only is staring like that is super inappropriate, but other people can see you doing it.

Khorne posted:

Am I [24F] crazy or is it weird that my boyfriend [27M] of 3 months doesn't like to have his penis touched? Possibly NSFW

If you thought skimming that was a waste of time because the answer is "It just feels weird to him unless he's hard. He told you this."here's the payoff from a commenter:

Groovelord Neato posted:

how the gently caress does a 22 year old even meet a 16 year old to date.

Pick posted:

Look, let's all just agree that you're allowed to roundhouse kick any significant other that wants you to get rid of your pets, or perhaps worse, harm them, such as by putting spiders in the garage.

quote:

My girlfriend decided to leave me. About 2 months ago. We were not meant to be. We had an open relationship. But she didnt really I guess felt comfortable. Thats not something I bend on. I always am in open relationships. We were together 2 years. Well I found out through a friends. Shes four months pregnant. And newly married. She told me she was pregnant a month before we broke up. But then said she miscarried. And I believed her. Which is very unbelievable now considering that was 3 months ago. And she's 4 months pregnant. She said back then that it was mine. But she was seeing someone else as was I. The agreement we had that we'd stay protected and that neither would get into serious relationships. I kept up my side of the deal apparently she did not on her end since she's married with a kid on the way. My issue is basically I'm now concerned it might be my kid. But I was reading that since she's married I won't have any rights since legally her husband is the father? Advice?

quote:

She was on the pill and we didn't use condoms we agreed to with anyone else we were with though.

quote:

My issue is I don't want him raising my kid as the dad. I want to raise my kid if its mine. Which I feel it is because she told me it was mine and then lied because she wanted to get rid of me. Its obvious she didnt really miscarry.

quote:

Well I think she didnt want to be with me longterm so she lied and said she miscarried and then broke up with me. Shes married to a guy I knew she was seeing but I thought it was just sexual. Apparently between them it was more than just sex.so she was probably cheating all along at least a year.

quote:

Her mom and stepdad are black and they don't like me. I don't talk to them.

quote:

I don't think shes going to try to get child support. He's pretty financially secure. I'm doing alright as well but I don't think She'll be short on money at all.

Ive never heard of the term putative father I'll look that up.

I just want to seek custody my issue is if its assumed that its his kid can I dispute this claim?

quote:

Well this is depressing I looked up presumable v. Putative father seems as though I am < edited >. But I don't know the laws in Nevada. I'm in Nevada BTW southern Nevada. They live in California though. Both southern respectively