Snowglobe of Doom posted:

It's not all fun and games. If he ever kills himself no one will be able to read his suicide note without busting out laughing because in their head they'll be reading it in his voice

Tasteful Dickpic posted:

Any Gilbert Gottfried suicide note that doesn't end with "The Aristocrats!" isn't worth the paper it's written on.

AtomD posted:

Goddamn if that's not a great thing to put on a tombstone regardless of actual cause of death. Just "The Aristocrats!"

Comptroll The Forums posted:

Christ, every goon stereotype is doing better than I am

Barudak posted:

This is like the earth shaking, the rocks crumbling, and the seas frothing and then the volcano just kind of dribbles out a thin stream of lava that goes straight to the sea. Have some drat pride, if you're going to explode because the high priest hasn't tossed a virgin into you since he got the job level the whole goddamn island so that future men who dare to tread on your shores find the still standing statues of the men who failed you.

Cindy Shitbird posted:

imagine four goons on the edge of a well

Cindy Shitbird posted:

imagine four goons on the edge of a well

El Gallinero Gros posted:

This just reminds me of the whole "Goons try to help people who won't listen" analogy that takes place in a well.

AtomD posted:

Goddamn if that's not a great thing to put on a tombstone regardless of actual cause of death. Just "The Aristocrats!"

Retarded_Clown_ posted:

it's great for me, because after I got paid yesterday I went down to tagret and bought almost every figure. P.much just pushed the entire shelf into my cart and it onyl came out $120.00. This is what I mean when I talk about GB16 fans taking the ghostbro hate and turning it into something positive, we're a pretty ingenuitive bunch.

Less than 5 days left until its finally out, fellow Ghostheads! A few buddies and myself are going to dress up (sans protin packs, the theater has banned all potentially dangerous looking objects from cosplay. Which I applaud. Same thing happened with Star Wars last year and it was great because usually nerds are agressivly lightsabre-fighting outside of these things with all this pent up agression and thankfully that was absent from the Episode 7 release night.) Got my measurements done and if all goes well my jumpsuit will be ready by then. A friend of mine also has an authentic Ghostbusters mobile feauting the original model of ambulance with working siren that he brings out for GB events/charity. We're going to be pulling up to this thing in style! Absolutely cannot wait!

Retarded_Clown_ posted:

So, I saw a thing.

I guess I should back up a bit first and explain my entire experience going to see this film. A few weeks ago a buddy of mine who is a big time fan of Ghostbusters asked if I'd be interested in having a small get together/viewing party for some of the more hardcore GB16 fans. Since I figured the film needed as much positive energy as possible, I was keen as mustard.

I should preface this with a little backstory about my friend Topher; He's always been a direhard GB fan (whereas I have never seen the first film, and TBQH i honestly don't think I want to after all the hate from the fans of the original) and he does a LOT of charity stuff using the Ghostbusters. To put it in perspective, he's pretty much the biggest name in Ghostbusters fandom in the entire South Bay/Santa Clara area. Him and some other buddies dress up as the GBs and do charity events/fundraisers/visit hospitals and the like, all out of pocket out of a love for both the film and charity work. A few years back he was actually able to get his hands on a 1959 Cadillac Professional chassis, which for those of you who have been living under a rock is the Ecto-1 from the original Ghostbusters film. Toph spent three years and a pretty penny having the thing done up to look like an exact replica from the film, even down to the siren.

Now, I had always been sort of ambivalent to the whole thing. Honestly, I kind of thought it was a waste of money. But if Topher said it made him happy, then I was happy for him. Cut to my sudden wellspring of interest for GB16. Toph knew I was a diehard Feighead and when GB16 season finally rolled around he asked me if I wanted to accompany him and a few of our mutuals who were going to dress up in full GB cosplay and pull up to the Ecto-1 theatre with the siren and GB16 theme blaring and everything, basically making a huge entrance and showing everyone that the REAL fans of this film were happy to see it opening night. Again, naturally, I jumped at the occasion. Not gonna lie, I had been having a pretty hard year up until that point. Not gonna get into specifics, but let's just say that constantly arguing with Ghostbros and Haters every day was taking it's toll on me. I definitely needed a fun, carefree night out.

We spent weeks getting all the preparations just so. Since I decided I'm going to take a break for a while from College, I used the money I was going to put towards classes this semester and went out and bought a BUNCH of GB16 merch. Like, an ungodly amount. My sister still insists that I'm slowly turning into a hoarder, but I know for a fact that a LOT of this stuff is going to be really rare and valuable some day. Plus, I knew that buying every piece of merch for this film in sight was in my own small way helping Feig and co. fight the good fight against the misogynists and sexists, so it really filled me with a sense of pride. We went all out with this. I had my costume fitted by a professional tailor weeks in advance just for the occasion. Green slime twinkies, Candy, GB16 PArty City party favor stuff, the works. And of course, literal cases upon cases of of Ecto Cooler (seriously, if you're in the Bay Area and can't find any, it's probably our fault. #sorrynotsorry ). Things were looking to be the makings of a fantastic night. Friday morning we loaded up the ECTO-1 with the goods, donned our trademark outfits and set out to see the biggest comedy event of the year.

I'm not going to lie to you, pulling out of Topher's driveway and speeding down the road with the lights, siren, and theme song going (Toph added bonnet-mounted speakers just so people can hear us blast the theme) was absolutely exhilarating. It was pretty much the closest thing anyone can get to being a real Ghostbuster. Pun intended . Seriously though, it was absolutely incredible. Just seeing the look on people's faces as we passed them by was worth a thousand words. People were pointing and cheering, some filming with their cell phones. There was even a guy who was holding a sign advertising a furniture store who actually started dancing and spinning the sign, throwing it up in the air and everything! All just for us! It really warmed my heart to see everyone so filled with joy thanks to us.

It really was the peak of the day. We had the theme going on loop (GB16/Fallout boy version for authenticity, plus Tophs ipod touch that had the original theme on it died because he forgot to charge it) Our two other friends Gregg and Tim, also huge GB heads, were in the backseat, singing along with us, cracking Ecto-Coolers, opening Twinkies, and passing them up to us. It really was the highlight of what ended up being a pretty rough night. I guess I can't stall any more, so I'll just explain what happened next.

Over the past few months, I had become a GIGANTIC Holtzmann-head. (Seriously, Kate McKinnon is like, literally my favourite person on the planet right now. I absolutely adore how she mugs for the camera literally every time she's on screen, it's the cutest and funniest thing in the world and I was absolutely smitten by the end of the film...is she single? Hey, where's there's hope there's good fortune as my great-grandfather used to say! ) and we were all quoting our favourite lines from the trailers. Tim actually got one of the quotes wrong, which, on any other day I'd let pass but, well, today was GB16 day and I was not having it. We got into what eventually became a kinda heated argument about it until Toph decided to settle it by looking the quote up on his iPad. He turned around to show us the actual quote (I was right, of course #humblebrag) but unfortunately that's when the night took a turn for the worse.

Maybe it was the excitement, maybe it was all the Ecto-cooler, maybe the theme song was being cranked too loud. Maybe it was the siren. Honestly at this point I'm still not even sure, but I guess Topher missed a red light while he was mediating our spat and missed it and sped into an intersection. Next thing I knew there was a huge crash and the sound of glass breaking.

Toph had ran a red light into the intersection and we got t-boned by a tractor trailer. The Ecto-1 actually got flipped in the process, and skidded for several feet until finally knocking down a Dairy Queen sign and grinding to a halt. You know how in Call of Duty when the character takes a hit and he's all disoriented at first? Well, it was just like that, except a LOT scarier. I crawled out from the wreckage and surveyed the scene. The ECTO-1 was totaled, with smoke coming out of it. The front of the tractor trailer was a mess, but otherwise intact. Ironically, it was actually a Twinkie delivery truck with a huge GB16 ad on the side. Slimer's huge face smiled at me, almost as if he was mocking me. There were juice boxes and cans of Ecto-cooler everywhere, mixed with crushed Green Slime Twinkies, along with bits of metal, plastic, and broken glass all over the road. The smell of spilled Ecto Cooler, brunt rubber, and engine fluid filled the hot July air.

I literally think Harold Ramis was honestly watching over us last night because amazingly no one was seriously injured. We all had minor cuts, scrapes and bruises and the like, but otherwise fine. The truck driver was fine and already over on the sidewalk on the phone with 911. Gregg had a minor panic attack when he initially couldn't get free from the vehicle because his replica proton pack was stuck, but eventually we convinced him to ditch it and take it off so he could get free. I gave him a Green Slime Twinkie and he seemed to calm down a bit. I sat down on the curb. By this point I was pretty bummed. We were most certainly going to miss the 7:00 showing (arguably the biggest showing of a Friday night), the ECTO-1 was totaled beyond salvage, and the police had found Topher to be at fault, and took him downtown for booking for the night. Pardon the pun, but our 'spirits' were pretty low. That's when suddenly a can of Ecto-Cooler rolled over and hit my boot.

Now, this was a completely windless and still night. No gusts at all, no reason for this can to roll over to me. But, honestly, I took it as a sign. A sign that no matter what, Ghostbusters don't give up, despite any setbacks or sexism they may face. I felt like I could practically see Harold Ramis' ghost smiling at me and gesturing to the movie theater down the block. I cracked it open and took a sip. It felt powerful. The tangy orange flavor simultaneously quenched my thirst and filled me with a burning desire in my throat and I suddenly gained my second wind. I triumphantly stood up I explained to my friends that we were still going to see this film, injuries or accidents be damned. At first they didn't want to, but I explained to them the revelation I had just had and how the Ghostbusters never give up, and by the end of my speech they were on board completely.

We hailed a cab and made our way to the theater. By that point it was about 9pm and we still had a chance of making the last showing. We finally arrived and made our way to the box office. After we got our tickets however, our courage was again tested. As we were in line getting our bags of Popcorn and sodas, two of the most bro-ish, dick-ish looking bros swaggered out of an Independence Day 2 showing (apparently that violent piece of crap film is still making the rounds), literally throwing their snack garbage onto the floor for the employees to clean up. One was tall and gangly, wearing a trenchcoat, camo shorts, combat boots and (ugh) as Washington Redskins cap. The other was some short fat douche in a tracksuit and a "make america great again" hat. They took one look at us, gave a knowing smile towards each other, and from that moment on I knew they wanted to start some crap. I tried my best to channel my inner Holtzmann and stared off into space, mugging at an invisible "camera." Sure enough though, they come up to us with some bullshit.

I've conviently layed out this convo using emoticons:

Me:
Douche 1:
Douche 2:


: "Well well well, whatta we have here bro? Looks like a coupla CUCKS who actually want to see that Femenazi Trash, the new Ghostbusters!

:"Huh huh! Yeah, boss! That's funny! Cucks!" , they laughed to each other like hyinas. I kept my cool, though, and used my trademark acid tongue to give them a verbal tongue lashing they'd soon not forget."

:"Aww, how cute," I cooed, "The Troglodytes graduated into 5th grade and learned a new insult. How clever." I said while rolling my eyes. That seemed to really prick the short one.

:"You actually mean to tell me people want to see this Trash? Can't believe you're giving Paul FAG (author's note:the director, Paul Feig, has had to deal with a literal torrent of abuse from these sorts of cavemen, and they all have the same one note, uncreative joke: changing his last name into a hurtful, hateful slur pejorative used to describe gay folk) any of your money!"

:"Not only am I giving him my money tonight", I parry'd, "I'm going every night this week! So why don't you buzz off, bozo! I'm sure there's a NASCAR game you can go home and watch"

"Ooohhhh, epic burn", my friends said, backing me up.

Well, that really seemed to anger him. His face turned beet red and he started shouting at me. By this point most of the people waiting in line began to notice us.

: "YOU LISTEN HERE YOU MANGINA, I DON'T GIVE TWO CRAPS ABOUT YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS THNIK!!!!! THIS MOVIE IS TRASH!!!!! YOU ARE loving TRASH! THIS MOVIE WAS MADE TO FORCE FEMENAZI BULLCRAP ON INNOCENT MALE GHOST BUSTERS FANS OF THE ORIGINAL 1984 CLASSIC!!! WOMEN CAN'T BE GHOSTBUSTERS, NOR HOLD PRESTIGIOUS POSITIONS IN THE STEM FIELD!!! THEY BELONG IN THE KITCHEN MAKING ME A SANDWICH! ALTHOUGH I BET MELLISSA MCCARTHY ALREADY ATE THEM ALL WITH HER FAT rear end!!"

Well, that about it did it for me. Insult me all you like, but no one disses Mama Bear (seriously, I was a huge M.Mccarthy fan going way back to her Mike and Molly days. if you haven't seen this amazingly hilarious and touching show you can get almost all the episodes on dvd/hulu/amazon instant. I highly recommend) and we had already been through *way* too much poo poo tonight. In a sudden burst of rage I shoved him hard, and him and his buddy toppled over each other and fell clear through an Angry Birds cardboard cutout and right into a big candy rack and soda dispenser. They were covered in soda and cotton candy, raisinettes and mike and ikes. Essentially tarred and feathered, film buff style. Humiliated, they immediately got up and high tailed it out of there, clearly humiliated. On the floor, I noticed the one bro was so scared he dropped his MAGA hat and had left it behind. I picked it up and waved it at them as they fled.

"YOU FORGOT THIS, YOU SEXIST PRICKS!" I yelled triumphantly throwing it to the ground and stomping it with my boot.

While my rage was still ringing in my ears, I eventually heard a sound I don't usually hear. At first I thought it was just popcorn popping, but it was actually applause. I turned around to see the entire lobby applauding and cheering for us. For once, Brains had triumphed over violent and bigoted brawn. The manager at the theater came up to me and personally thanked me, saying they had been having problems with those two particular trouble makers for quite some time. I told them it was all in a days work. Right after that, a woman approached me. Turns out she was a retired female astronaut, and had heard the whole thing. She actually begin crying as she told me how brave I was for sticking up for women in the STEM field. I was humbled by her candor. We embraced for a moment while she wept, and I told her everything was alright now, the Ghostbusters were here.

At that exact moment, the manager started pumping the GB theme through the lobby speakers. I stood up, dusted myself off, and put my fist in the air as we danced to our theater. Everyone was clapping, dancing and chanting "Ghost-busters! Ghost-busters!" as we triumphantly made our way to see what we'd been waiting all this time to see.

Inside, the theater was completely empty (Makes sense though honestly. it was a p.late showing, you rarely see people at 9pm Friday night showings so it didn't bother me much. Didn't bother me much at all really.) so we had our pick of seats. We sat down front and center, and let the magic wash over us. Two hours later, I felt like I had been reborn.

So how did it stack up? Well, after everything is said and done: loving fantastic. Seriously, best movie of 2016, possibly of the 2010s. It's the best Ghostbusters for sure. (Well, full disclosure: I've only seen bits and pieces of the first film on tv here and there but overall this seemed like a MUCH better film.) And it was effing hilarious. There were scenes that had me literally rolling in the aisles crying with laughter. The cameos were hilarious and on point, too. Particularly Bill Murray's, you could really tell that he wanted to be there. And it was scary as all get out. I'm glad I had my plush slimer with me because honestly I needed to hide under it a few different times during this. The ghosts looked amazing, mad props to the aCgi Dept on this one because the ghosts literally looked real. It was that scary. Thankfully the G-busters were there to clean house. Seriously, the action scenes in this are enthralling and perfectly shot. This chicks will make you laugh,mbut they can also kick serious butt. What Paul Feig and Co. have done here is absolutely wonderful and spell binding. This is a de-factor tour de fource of cinema, how movies should be made, period. I mean, don't get me wrong. Even I admit it's not the most intellectual of films. This isn't some deep, nuanced art flick like Citizen Kane or Hunger Games or something. This is a fun popcorn flick you go see to forget about life's woes for a few hours. As long as you don't go in like a Grumpy Gus™, are willing to switch your brain off and enjoy something for once, you're going to have a great time.

Moreover, this film is Imporant. It's important, because it shows young girls that they can have something to look up to. That women *can* be Ghostbusters, and they *can* become prominent and famous in the world of STEM and the like. I don't have a daughter, but if I did you can drat be sure I'd be taking her to this every night, wether she wanted to see it again or not. It's literally that imperative to me. This film should be mandatory viewing for all Grade school and College students. Hopefully the Library of Congress decides to add this gem to it's storied collection sooner rather than later. It is just that good.

As I type this, I'm putting the finishing touches on a GB16 cake me and the gang made for Topher. Seeing as he wont be released until Monday, we decided to surprise him at the lockup with a GB16 cake and some Green Slime Twinkies and Ecto-Cooler we managed to salvage from the side of the road. We're going to have a mini-GB16 party right there in the precinct before we leave to go see it again tonight. As I put the finishing touches on this cake I really realize the power cinema truly has to transport us to another world, thrill us, chill us, make us laugh, cry, and cheer. That's just how drat powerful Cinema can be. Cinema has the power to change society for the better. That I think is the most humbling thing about all this. And it's why I wholeheartedly recommend this film to literally anyone with a pulse who still has a heart and a sense of wonder and humor. After all the years of months and hate, after all the internet debates, after all the poop-slinging and attacks on the filmmakers character, I can truly say it delivers. This is a film who's praises deserve to be shouted from the mountain tops for all to hear. It is nothing short of a masterpiece. Ghostheads and non-ghostheads alike, everyone who still has shred of joy left in their hearts will love this film.

Verdict: Bustin' Makes Us All Feel Good, Man or Woman. Stop reading this post, drop what you are doing, and run out and see GB16 right this instant. Case closed. Here's hoping the subsequent sequels are greenlit post haste.

5/5 stars.

Retarded_Clown_ posted:

Any Ghostheads know of any announcement as to when the VOD/Blu Ray of this is coming out? Can't wait to proudly dislay that on my shelf front and center in my room with my GB LEGO building block set and other various merch.

Still been binge-viewing it as it is in the theaters. I've actually quit my job (saved up for about 12 months for the GB release/merch blitz and can finally blow it all combined with my would-be college funds) so I can just spend all day buying tickets for this movie, with me and my friends driving around to as many theaters as I can (Good knews about Toph BTW; he got his charges dropped and even got the ECTO-1 up and running...sorta. It's pretty junked not gonna lie, but we like to consider it a "mad max fury road" version of what the ECTO would look like. Still it's a little worrying to ride in it in this condition, though.) in my area to try and boost the box office for this as much as I can. We like to pop in for some of the showings too, just to relive the magic of its fully glory on the big screen. Not gonna lie though, it's gonna be great to crack an ecto cooler and kick my bustin' boots up on my GB16 coffee table and watch it in the comfort of my own home, far away from some of the trolls thst like to inhabit the theaters at times.

Speaking of trolls, I just want to say I find absolutely disgusting what Ms.Jones has had to endure from these vile ghouls. I was actually on twitter trying to defend her/deflect as many of the trolls onto me instead for a good number of hours. before one of the feinds hacked my phone and made it shut off. These jerks take something beautiful (in this case twitter) and just have to wreck it, makes me absolutely sick. My heart goes out to her.

EDIT: Upon further inspection I realized was my phone was not in fact hacked, the battery on it just died. Still, I feel as though some sort of foul play was afoot because right before it died it was acting slow and was very "hot" to the touch. Odd.

Stay strong, fellow Ghostheads. This film is honestly not that far off from The Force Awakening's numbers (give or take) and I really think one last push for a box office surge could really cement a sequel for us for sure. Fingers crossed.

-------------------------------------------
"It's 2040. Our president is a plant!" - Jillian Holtzmann , Ghostbusters, 2016

GOLD WINNER - 2016 Ghostheads Trivia Contest, Captain Joe's Bar and Grill, Santa Clara, CA

Junior Jr. posted:

God this one was harsh, like really harsh, but THIS was the reality check Noah desperately needed.

I know I've already mentioned I used to be a fan of Spoony, since sometime around 2008, but seeing him turning into a lost cause, STILL bitching on Twitter and STILL not updating or keeping promises to his patrons has deeply broken my heart.

And to think I used to partially defend this guy after his tweet to JesuOtaku and feud with Lupa, when I never realised he's done worse poo poo than that...I mean my god.

Never have I grown such deep hatred towards this arsehole, but somehow he's so retarded that he can't take a hint that his fans don't want him doing boring livestreams and leeching off of their money and doing nothing productive in the process. Hell I even looked back at his last review when he teased future reviews of Final Fantasy XIII-2 and some Highlander film...and that was three years ago.

I've supported him even after his backlashes and that's already died out. Now after watching Internet Aristocrat/Mister Metokur's video, and Spoony's response to that wasn't "I should understand my fanbase used to care for me back then and I should address my current situation" but instead "why are people hating on me", he's confirmed to me that he's definitely a lost cause.

-

I know Noah will never see this post, hell he doesn't even have an SA account, but if he does...I want him to understand something.

Noah, you are a oval office, you are a loving scummy oval office.

When you were in your prime, myself and thousands of fans used to love watching your Final Fantasy reviews, Highlander rants, and the Ultima retrospective. You had fans who seriously gave a poo poo about your work inside and outside of Channel Awesome. We donated to your Patreon because we were your supporters and believed in you, no matter what poo poo you were in (even with Scarlett) we'd still be there for you.

So what did you do to your fans who followed you for 7 years? You treated them like poo poo, took their money and ran and barely updated your content! Not only that, you talked poo poo on livestreams, burned bridges with your CA peers, and ruined your credibility as a reviewer by loving tweeting non-stop, even as YOUR loving DOG FOR gently caress'S SAKE!

Is it any wonder why April is still putting up with your poo poo and you don't bring up Miles anymore?

And now look at you...all you do now is tweet about WWE, complain at people on social media, disable comments in your videos because you don't want to know what people really think of your work, do livestreams of games where you feel like you'd rather play them WITHOUT streaming them in the first place, have some weird plot in your last reviews that later went nowhere (gee I wonder why), have no use for your VHS board games that may as well clutter up your house, rely on Patreon for more money instead of getting a real job, and most importantly...you're COMPLETELY LEFT ON YOUR OWN because all your friends, fans, and collaborators have ABANDONED YOU!

I loving despise of you now, you're nothing but a loving scumbag. A part of me really doesn't want to believe that, but you've MADE ME believe it...I've yet to see an apology from you since you clearly hate your fans.

I was hoping, really hoping you'd come to your senses, do the right thing and tried to earn respect from your fans...but you BETRAYED them. I should've known better...and Lupa possibly did too.

Noah, you truly are a loving scummy oval office.

Solice Kirsk posted:

That's....that's a lot of crazy.

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

He kept it up for 8 months and never dropped character, it was amazing

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

He kept it up for 8 months and never dropped character, it was amazing

Fart City posted:

Every morning Sean Spicer wakes up on a desert island surrounded by burning wreckage, cobbles together a raft, and rows back home, knowing full well he's only a few hours away from waking up on that god forsaken beach again.

theflyingorc posted:

Trig Discipline posted:

Is there a version of where he deserves it?

Lumpy the Cook posted:

quote:

This isn't some deep, nuanced art flick like Citizen Kane or Hunger Games or something.

my dad posted:

Trig Discipline posted:

wow, it's like poetry except i'm actually enjoying it

Trig Discipline posted:

wow, it's like poetry except i'm actually enjoying it

PopeCrunch posted:

Patient, not pro, but yeah it's normal. When I had my rear end remodeled a few months back, I shat out a wad of suture where apparently the bits connected to my butt pipes dissolved and the whole knitting project came free. The buttologist fingered me for a bit to make sure nothing fell out and told me to eat more prunes for a while because it probably just got dislodged by a monster loaf.

oldpainless posted:

Hell im reading incest erotica right now

Tweezer Reprise posted:

oh yeah? i'm writing it right now. tomorrow afternoon i'll be LARPing it actually

oldpainless posted:

Please don't














Without me

Tweezer Reprise posted:

you're not my dad

Phanatic posted:

Given that the only livestock animal dumber than a horse is a chicken, I think he probably came out of that emotionally intact.

queserasera posted:

Poor Speckles, stepped in a bowl and fried.

U.T. Raptor posted:

GodspeedSphere posted:

What the hell is that from?

your friend a dog posted:

he's got it the wrong way around then. YOU"RE supposed to molest the kid

Improbable Lobster posted:

veni veni veni posted:

This is more on me than you guys, but holy poo poo I am already sick of hearing about this rocket.

Plinkey posted:

Are you my ex?

Lizard Combatant posted:

I doubt it

My Lovely Horse posted:

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

The Australian government didn't have a shred of pity for him either, the tax office dragged him through the courts for over a decade trying to squeeze every penny out of him, initially claiming he owed $150 million in taxes. They apparently reached a settlement earlier this year.

Pastry of the Year posted:

All those sweet Wendy's product placement bucks from Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles will be lost... like pastries on the barbie.

Bobby Digital posted:

Time to dine