Marcade posted:

It's what happens when you treat your dick like a Dig Dug enemy.

Gromit posted:

When I don't understand a comic I gain solace by doing a Google image search for "people coughing" and imagine it's all invisible blowjobs.

Powaqoatse posted:

omg i just rememberd Boulder Dash

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QllqKiUXNno&t=18s

(it starts easy but theres like weird spreading fungus enemies etc)

Pastry of the Year posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Llby6mpU58

I was always more of a Digger guy

(because the teacher I had growing up pirated it, and because I'd never played Mr. Do)

Al Borland Corp. posted:

I desperately want a well spoken Kelsey Grammar Mummy now

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

Hey baby, I hear Anubis callin',
Tough scarabs and jackal heads
They're howlin' again

Powaqoatse posted:

omg i just rememberd Boulder Dash

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QllqKiUXNno&t=18s

(it starts easy but theres like weird spreading fungus enemies etc)

Collateral Damage posted:

Me and my best friend in grade school spent so much time playing Boulder Dash on the C64. I don't remember which one it was, but it had a level editor and we'd take turns building challenge levels for each other.

DACK FAYDEN posted:

Third Arm Reduction?

I can't figure out a way to make the harm reduction joke but I want it to work so badly

Collateral Damage posted:

Me and my best friend in grade school spent so much time playing Boulder Dash on the C64. I don't remember which one it was, but it had a level editor and we'd take turns building challenge levels for each other.

We Know Catheters posted:

It's none of your family's business what you stick in your dick. Unless it's a catheter.

walrusman posted:

I remember the last time this came up, yeah i eat rear end, and I still can't believe it. I couldn't live with that level of casual intrusion, and it's definitely not normal anywhere I've ever spent time, including Germany.

Jedit posted:

Boulder Dash 3 had the Construction Kit.

queserasera posted:

Shameless ad plug?

Garrand posted:

Subjunctive posted:

I clicked through, and I still don’t get it. Is it the funny username?

Subjunctive posted:

I clicked through, and I still don’t get it. Is it the funny username?

theflyingorc posted:

the way he used the username in the sentence sounds like it was the subject of the sentence, and it is very funny

Subjunctive posted:

I don't think it looks like the subject of the sentence, but I get it now. Thanks.

E: Ah, I see what you mean.

punchymcpunch posted:

i never once in my life thought "it mustve been hilarious to live through caligula's reign" but it turns out its great

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

CHILD'S VOICE: "Mom! I'm hungry! When's the queso gonna be ready?"

She struggles to lift the large stew pot filled with old bicycle parts, turnips, and salon sweepings. A bead of sweat appears on her brow as she turns on the blowtorch.

ANNOUNCER: "Tired of making queso the Same Old Way?"

The mother tries desperately to fill the overstuffed pot with cats, who keep climbing out. One scratches her wrist and draws blood. She sighs.

ANNOUNCER: "All the pounding and grinding!"

As the cats escape en masse, the woman falls to the floor, flailing her arms as the cats stream over her prone body.

ANNOUNCER: "The churning and basting!"

The pot topples to the floor, splattering its contents everywhere. As the woman struggles to her hands and knees, a flock of vultures flies in and begin pecking at her eyes, believing her to be dead.

ANNOUNCER: "The mincing and boiling!"

The woman moans as her denuded sockets ooze milky fluid and the vultures scream.

ANNOUNCER: "There's got to be a better way!"

The woman comically blows loose hair away from what's left of her face as the kitchen explodes. Far away, the sun darkens and spins rapidly, eventually revealing itself to be a wedge of cheese.

ANNOUNCER: "Order now, and we'll also send you an Igia Clear, free of charge!"

Cubone posted:

the transmission rate for HIV for performing fellatio is only .04%, meaning the cumulative risk is a_n=1-(0.9996)ⁿ, n∈ℕ
so you have to suck about 128 HIV-positive cocks to raise the risk of oral infection as high as 5% (or about 366 cocks whose HIV status is unknown), and anybody who's rolled a nat 20 knows how low even that is

basically I find this idea of alexander hamilton in high school in 1988 getting HIV from a single incident of oral rape to be highly dubious, and

Alhazred posted:

The sagas mentions a king named Fjölnir who one night became extremely drunk and drowned in a vat of mead.

Bruceski posted:

It was a great morning revelation for his heir though. The best part of waking up was seeing Fjölnir in his cup.

like a cigarette should posted:

My dad is the hoarder and I'm trying to convince him to clean out his garage. Found a tin of potted meat from 06, a great year for potted meat.

Chrs Gry posted:

My uncle once bought a 4 pack of Carling Lager which is a cheap, poo poo beer and wrapped up a can each for myself, my brother and my dad for Christmas. He drank the last one himself to celebrate a job well done.

Pick posted:

Outrail posted:

I love wierd rear end calculations. We had some people getting pissy at us in a bar for calculating how many people you could stuff into a telephone booth.

I think it was about 30, based on average weight.

Sex Hobbit posted:

The world record is 25 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phonebooth_stuffing

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

The record is 25 intact people. If you minced them you'd be able to pack 30 in there.

Who What Now posted:

Well poo poo, if you pureed them you can pack in another two or three.

Who What Now posted:

Well poo poo, if you pureed them you can pack in another two or three.

Who What Now posted:

Well poo poo, if you pureed them you can pack in another two or three.

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

You'd have to tip the phone booth over and pour them in or they'd just flow right out though, dunno if the phone booth stuffing rules allow for that.

funmanguy posted:

this kind of thinking is how dogs end up playikg basketball.

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

You'd have to tip the phone booth over and pour them in or they'd just flow right out though, dunno if the phone booth stuffing rules allow for that.