PYF: Funny Forum Quotes: Agent (7)47

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Kitfox88: Aug 21, 2007; Anybody lose their glasses?

90s Cringe Rock posted:

cumshitter legendarium.

In a hole in the loos there worked cumshitter. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a business-hole, and that means sound financial advice.

# ? Feb 8, 2020 01:43

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 12, 2024 14:20

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Krankenstyle posted:

i just remembered this post & i dont think i quoted it here at the time

Tree Goat posted:

an unpatched exploit in some versions of in the aeroplane over the sea allows you to turn the volume all the way down, letting you clip through the entire album without having to hear jeff mangum's voice but still triggering track progression etc.

# ? Feb 8, 2020 08:26

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Jerry Cotton posted:

That badly drawn Hillary looks like a decently drawn Warren.

# ? Feb 8, 2020 19:20

Nurge: Feb 4, 2009; by Reene; Fun Shoe

I'm sorry this isn't a funny quote because I'm about to ironically complain about that very thing, but I just got through the 10+ page slapfight about gaiman and china mieville and MZ bradley and whoever else and I feel like I'm going to pop a loving vein in my head from the anger of people using this threat as a chatbox. Please for the love of god this is one of the few places on the site I can find funny poo poo from forums I don't frequent. Can we not use it as a general chat thread? Please. Thank you.

# ? Feb 8, 2020 21:41

Moon Slayer: Jun 19, 2007

Nurge posted:

Can we not use it as a general chat thread? Please. Thank you.

Hmm. Maybe. Let's discuss it.

# ? Feb 8, 2020 21:48

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

I mean, it's worth giving a shot. Nobody post anything that isn't a quote of someone else's good post.

# ? Feb 8, 2020 22:08

PERMACAV 50: Jul 24, 2007; because we are cat

Ralph Crammed In posted:

Now blended with Milk Plus to get you ready for some of that old ultra-violence.

It's extra stupid because none of those ingredients are oranges either, and judging by the list the color of the smoothie would be purplish.

Brawnfire posted:

Remember, remember
The wortel and gember
The selderij, appel and biet
I never will tire of lucuma, papaya
In my strangely-named "orange" smoothie treat.

# ? Feb 8, 2020 22:16

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

I mean, it's worth giving a shot. Nobody post anything that isn't a quote of someone else's good post.

# ? Feb 8, 2020 22:39

Inceltown: Aug 6, 2019

Inceltown posted:

FFFFAAAAAARRRRRRTTTTTTTT!!!!!!11!

# ? Feb 8, 2020 22:53

LITERALLY A BIRD: Sep 27, 2008; I knew you were trouble
when you flew in

Nurge posted:

I'm sorry this isn't a funny quote because I'm about to ironically complain about that very thing, but I just got through the 10+ page slapfight about gaiman and china mieville and MZ bradley and whoever else and I feel like I'm going to pop a loving vein in my head from the anger of people using this threat as a chatbox. Please for the love of god this is one of the few places on the site I can find funny poo poo from forums I don't frequent. Can we not use it as a general chat thread? Please. Thank you.

Please don't be afraid to report conversations that have outstayed their welcome or turned into ugly derails, in this thread and elsewhere. I think trying to police the amount of conversation allowed here would be a mistake but there are definitely times a thread needs some help along.

# ? Feb 9, 2020 03:37

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Glenn Quebec is making a video game.

Glenn Quebec posted:

It has come to my attention that we've officially have a working firearms and the first victim was a chicken

R.I.P chicken

HopperUK posted:

She got to the other side

# ? Feb 9, 2020 04:20

LITERALLY A BIRD: Sep 27, 2008; I knew you were trouble
when you flew in

damnit beaten and I didn't notice on account of modding

Brawnfire with the post so nice we quoted it twice

LITERALLY A BIRD has a new favorite as of 04:30 on Feb 9, 2020

# ? Feb 9, 2020 04:27

funmanguy: Apr 20, 2006; What time is it?

Don�t hide your shame, own it.

# ? Feb 9, 2020 04:44

Inceltown: Aug 6, 2019

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK posted:

https://i.imgur.com/xiXawmU.mp4

Vitamin Me posted:

https://i.imgur.com/edOFAL7.mp4

# ? Feb 9, 2020 23:35

tangy yet delightful: Sep 13, 2005

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

damnit beaten and I didn't notice on account of modding

Brawnfire with the post so nice we quoted it twice

mods didn't know

# ? Feb 9, 2020 23:44

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

Ixian posted:

When the argument boils down to splitting hairs over the number of Chuck E. Cheese locations, it's time to call it quits.

# ? Feb 10, 2020 03:06

Elviscat: Jan 1, 2008; Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

RoboRodent posted:

I tear cinnamon buns into little manageable pieces. I don't think I hold them like that, though.

Mak0rz posted:

Probably because you're not a rodent

Kalsco posted:

I wouldn't be quite so sure of that.

Mak0rz posted:

Full disclosure: I never even noticed the username

# ? Feb 10, 2020 03:54

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

ikanreed posted:

Having a passing knowledge of Chinese makes [referring to the coronavirus as kung flu] worse, because Kung Fu just means hard work.

Pvt.Scott posted:

Enter the 36 Chambers of Protestant Work Ethic

# ? Feb 10, 2020 20:22

Happy Thread: Jul 10, 2005; by Fluffdaddy; Plaster Town Cop

Weedle posted:

"CHAPTER 14: War Is the Health of the State. Ahem--"

"oh my god dad can we just listen to music"

# ? Feb 10, 2020 22:03

Bobby Digital: Sep 4, 2009

Phy posted:

There are days I feel like an owl. Like I've accidentally cultivated a piercing gaze that makes me seem intelligent but inside I'm just dumb as hell and the smartest thing that come out of my mouth is burped-up mouse bones

# ? Feb 11, 2020 09:35

hallelujah: Jan 26, 2020; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

new legendary goondad

Helen Skelter posted:

I know this is from pages ago but I had to share.

When I was a kid my family struggled with finances. My siblings and I all wore hand me down clothes, we got 1 pair of sneakers a year and were told to "make them last" my grandmother would even help us buy school supplies. We were only given one present each at Christmas because "money was tight."

The thing is, my dad had a good job that paid decent and was union. The problem was, my dad is addicted to buying toys and comics. Aside from buying 30-40 comics a month, the big one was collecting G.I. Joes. Not the little ones that were new on the market at the time. He needed to relive his childhood, so he started buying the toys from the 60's and 70's.

Everything in our lives was about GI Joe. Almost every vacation we went on as kids was to GI Joe conventions. When we moved in to a new house my sisters shared a bedroom because he needed a 'Joe Room. When I was a kid he had me lie about my eyesight so I would get glasses on his insurance so the ophthalmologist that was a GI Joe collector would give him a better deal on a trade. He ran up dozens of credit cards to buy GI Joes. He stole $3000 from my sister bank account to buy a single GI Joe. He stole my identity to open a bunch of credit cards to... you guessed, buy GI Joes.

He's deep in debt but he still has over 2,000 GI Joes from around the world. His Joe room has a 8' by 6' standing sandbox so he can stage dioramas. He also has about 40,000 comics in boxes that he refuses to sell but doesn't have interest in anymore. I can't even begin to guess how much he's spent on comics and toys while my sisters and I ran around with holes in our clothes and Banquet Microwave dinners in our tummies (Those red boxes still give me PTSD).

When I finally put 2 and 2 together as an adult I was livid. I remember confronting him about it and his only response was "Well, you're not getting any of the Joes I die then" These toys are barely worth anything now.

# ? Feb 11, 2020 09:38

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

hallelujah posted:

new legendary goondad

Replace "G.I. Joe" with 'Star Wars" and I would swear this was Blue Story's baby coming back in time to let us know he survived.

# ? Feb 11, 2020 10:02

Inceltown: Aug 6, 2019

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

Replace "G.I. Joe" with 'Star Wars" and I would swear this was Blue Story's baby coming back in time to let us know he survived.

Old Star Wars toys are probably still worth something at least

# ? Feb 11, 2020 10:05

Crowetron: Apr 29, 2009

hallelujah posted:

new legendary goondad

We're all gonna look like idiots for laughing at this when Cobra shows up.

# ? Feb 11, 2020 10:10

Tashilicious: Jul 17, 2016; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Inceltown posted:

Old Star Wars toys are probably still worth something at least

Blue Story was not about old star wars toys. It was all modern poo poo,.

# ? Feb 11, 2020 10:23

Griefor: Jun 11, 2009

Tashilicious posted:

Blue Story was not about old star wars toys. It was all modern poo poo,.

And band merch. Go to a concert, get one of each of the band merchandise. She explained this all matter-of-factly like it's what everyone does.

# ? Feb 11, 2020 10:33

Tashilicious: Jul 17, 2016; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Griefor posted:

And band merch. Go to a concert, get one of each of the band merchandise. She explained this all matter-of-factly like it's what everyone does.

She *had* to because she never got the shirts when she was younger.

# ? Feb 11, 2020 10:35

Snowy: Oct 6, 2010; A man whose blood
Is very snow-broth;
One who never feels
The wanton stings and
Motions of the sense

I�ll reserve judgement until I hear which bands these were

# ? Feb 11, 2020 12:15

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

Snowy posted:

I’ll reserve judgement until I hear which bands these were

Zero; it was the Kids in the Hall.

# ? Feb 11, 2020 12:31

90s Cringe Rock: Nov 29, 2006

Kinda broke today and I do have a sandwich I made for lunch but I could go spend money I don't have on a froofy sandwich, y/n?

# ? Feb 11, 2020 12:36

flavor.flv: Apr 18, 2008; I got a letter from the government the other day
opened it, read it
it said they was bitches

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

Zero; it was the Kids in the Hall.

Oh, well that's understandable. Bruce isn't as cute anymore but Scott Thompson is still a dreamboat

# ? Feb 11, 2020 16:08

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

Idiot deers they get horny and have sex with each other and lay 30,000 deer eggs

owlhawk911 posted:

similarly, baby deer progress through 4 basic stages of life after hatching. each winter they shed their antlers and form a cocoon, emerging in spring as a larger and tastier animal. if it does not fall victim to predation or starvation, the larval deer will appear next as a caribou, then elk then moose. some researchers say that antelope are actually the first stage in this cycle, but they have never been able to provide a solid answer as to why deer hatch from eggs rather than emerging from cocoons like all the other forms. deer hatches are a well-documented phenomenon, while no one actually knows where antelope come from

# ? Feb 11, 2020 16:13

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

RandomFerret posted:

Oh, well that's understandable. Bruce isn't as cute anymore but Scott Thompson is still a dreamboat

And Kevin remains exactly as fuckable as he ever was, oddly enough.

# ? Feb 11, 2020 16:23

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

90s Cringe Rock posted:

Kinda broke today and I do have a sandwich I made for lunch but I could go spend money I don't have on a froofy sandwich, y/n?

I tried to answer your question but I got tired and gave up. I will try again tomorrow after I fold seven loads of laundry and watch Celebrity TV Dancing Nonsense rear end Garbage. I would ask my husband what he thinks of this question, but he never answers me because he's a red card Greedo.

# ? Feb 11, 2020 16:25

Elfface: Nov 14, 2010; Da-na-na-na-na-na-na
IRON JONAH

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

I tried to answer your question but I got tired and gave up. I will try again tomorrow after I fold seven loads of laundry and watch Celebrity TV Dancing Nonsense rear end Garbage. I would ask my husband what he thinks of this question, but he never answers me because he's a red card Greedo.

I have bad news about your husband. Wanted Smuggler Han Solo was last seen fleeing the Mos Eisley parking bays...

# ? Feb 11, 2020 16:37