Social Media: lmao listen and this is very important, I have no idea whats goin on

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > Social Media: lmao listen and this is very important, I have no idea whats goin on

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Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

bradzilla posted:

This one isn't too bad, but still has undertones of , so gently caress off Zack Ryder you loving baby.

Oh come on, that's the exact kind of crack almost any snarky face would make at Ryback's expense. Eating and harassing the catering staff were his thing forever. If you need to think about the tweet for a couple of minutes so you can divine the lack of use whining because you're certain its in there someplace, you're just being mean.

# ¿ Oct 16, 2013 07:06

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 07:16

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

PunkBoy posted:

Savage Garden? Clearly there is a subtle and secret hatred going on here.

# ¿ Jan 9, 2014 00:51

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

I think Tamina is pretty good when she's just doing power moves and throwing her weight around in her jean vest. She's got a good build to be credible as a brute type and she seems good at those kinds of attacks. It's when she tries to get acrobatic that she looks bad.

If she cut most of the flippy crap out of her moveset and learned to do the drat Superfly Splash properly so she could keep it for LEGACY purposes, she'd be one of the better Divas on the roster.

And there's nothing wrong with the Bella Twins. They've gotten so good compared to where they used to be it's kind of amazing. Nikki may only be good at selling, but that's one more skill than the zero she used to have, and Brie has gotten to at least average in all areas. And darn it, I like their enthusiasm! :colbert:

# ¿ Jan 23, 2014 03:38

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

keevo posted:

Please get Ryback to 1 million followers.

Damnit Ryback, why can't you be this Ryback on TV!

# ¿ Feb 10, 2014 06:08

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Jerusalem posted:

I want to stress this, because it's very, very important. This is how the storyline went, literally without any exaggeration on my part:

You can watch the promo here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Anbf9Y6I2DQ

I hate to open myself up to a lambasting, but just to play devil's advocate here: Remember that the crux of Scott Steiner's storyline is that he was the hottest free agent wrestler on the market, a game changer in the budding Brand Split War between Bischoff and Stephanie. They were both absolutely desperate to get him. And his character was a face version of his most popular heel persona, that being a 90's Comic Book style unrepentant alpha dog who only cared about three things, his muscles, the ladies, and winning fights.

So both sides are trying to bribe him with boat loads of money. But Steiner's character doesn't really care that much about money. So both sides try to entice him with competition by having midcarders insult him. But Steiner just squashes them because he has nothing but contempt for the weasel heels on both shows. So Eric Bischoff decides he's going to bribe Steiner with like 10 girls. But Steiner has already agreed to spend a night out with Stephanie, who made him "promises." But at the contract signing it comes out that nothing happened during their night out despite Stephanie's promises.

Now, I grant that Stephanie trying to sleep her way to success with Steiner is just plain awful and the worst kind of late 90's early 00's lowest common denominator pandering. But given how the contract signing actually plays out, I think the point was to show that Steiner cared more about the fact that Stephanie lied to him than he did about the actual sex. If all he wanted was sex he would have stayed with Bischoff because 10 > 1. He pushed the issue to the point of absurdity because she kept dancing around that she'd backed down from her word and making false promises, and in the end rather than do something to make good on what she'd said, she tried to get around it with more double-talk. And so Steiner signs with Raw because Bischoff may be a sleaze, but at least he's not jerking Steiner around and making promises he won't back up.

I admit I'm probably being more generous than I should be, but that's how I saw it back in the day when I saw it live on TV was way into that kind of anti-hero character. Obviously if all of that was their intent they didn't do a great job and what we got is problematic at best.

But in the end I think the biggest ration of blame for the angle having issues is that Scott Steiner's persona doesn't translate very well to being a Face.

# ¿ Feb 13, 2014 01:45

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Occupy Japan posted:

Rude and Steiner both had gimmicks that were, at their core, required being antagonistic towards the fans/audience/whatever. In fact, their gimmicks were actually pretty similar in that they were both dudes who were obsessed with their bodies, the ladies, and with how much bigger/stronger/more desirable they were to said ladies than other men. It makes no sense to make someone like this a face. The Rock and Austin's gimmicks didn't necessarily require being antagonistic towards the audience.

The Rock and Austin were generally assholes to other people on the roster, and this translated into them being able to float between heel and face or tweener based on who they were being assholes to. They could be assholes to the crowd, too, but the core of their gimmick didn't require it. If they were assholes to faces, they were heels. If they were assholes to heels, they were faces.

Steiner and Rude, in the gimmicks that "made them", were always antagonistic towards the crowd, be it Rude telling all the sweathogs to sit down so their women could look at what a real man looks like or Steiner, well, pretty much doing the exact same thing but also overtly wanting to violently gently caress everything with a vagina. Without serious repackaging, which would have killed their characters and heat, you are never going to get someone like that over as a face outside of a debut face reaction or whatever. The crowd is not going to buy that the dude telling them he wants to gently caress their girlfriend is a good guy.

I think part of the reason people believed Steiner's gimmick could work as a face is that he would actually get a surprising amount of positive reaction from the ladies. I watched a lot of old Scott Steiner promos for the TEW Monday Night Wars thread, and it kind of amazed me that no matter how big a turd he was being, women in the crowds were always going nuts for him to the point of drowning out the boos. I don't know if it was the same for Rude back in the day, I know camera shots liked to show ladies swooning when he walked by, but I find it a bit tough to imagine he had women screaming with joy to the point where in a vacuum you might believe he was a good guy watching his promos.

Randy Orton sometimes has a similar thing. He's got a lot of horny fangirls who won't stop cheering him no matter how big a heel he is, it's not hard to notice them, though they're only a vocal minority.

And really, why not? When the message is "I'm an attractive, virile guy and my favorite thing in the world is giving women mind-blowing orgasms," whats not to like? It was a lot more rare for him to take open shots at audience beyond "this city and everyone in it sucks," generic cheap heat (at least from what I've watched), and he always took the time to let the ladies know he wanted them no matter how terrible Cleveland or Hoboken or Baton Rouge are. That's a bit of a different flavor from "all your boyfriends are terrible sweethearts, lose the zeroes and get with the hero," 70's Beach Bully talk.

The line between confidence and self-centeredness is fine, and Scott Steiner could have potentially walked it better than Rick Rude without changing his character. The building blocks were there during his WWE run. But making a complete douche likeable is tricky and takes a lot of writing talent, so it's hardly shocking that WWE failed.

# ¿ Feb 13, 2014 08:33

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Batista posted:

The burial continues.

https://twitter.com/VinceMcMahon/status/436229319107805184

Based on the crowd's constant WHAT chants, we've determined that Stone Cold Steven Austin is only "catchphrase over," and to keep his fans from hijacking our show we're going to job him out to Test. Big Boot 18 seconds into his title match will bury him and make Test the star we all knew he could be, it's the perfect plan.

# ¿ Feb 19, 2014 21:23

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Triple H is just a giant nerd trapped in a super muscleman body. Like the real life version of the guy from Brutal Legend. I find it endearing.

# ¿ Feb 20, 2014 09:45

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

You know what bums me out about Heel Cole? The first thing I ever watched from that period was the Lawler vs Miz TLC match, and I actually really liked it. It wasn't an amazing match or anything, though I always love seeing the rare major gimmick match on free TV and Lawler was actually a million times better than I thought he would ever be in a match of that sort. Miz also performed above my usual expectations for him. And the finish was kind of great to me. I dug the idea that Cole was such a mark for the Miz and he had talked so much poo poo about Lawler's age and lack of accomplishments and how perfect and spectacular and unbeatable Miz was that he simply COULD NOT allow Lawler to win and did the unthinkable, and the follow up the next night where he asked Jerry to APOLOGIZE TO HIM was like, almost shockingly well-acted consider it was Michael Cole.

And then the rest of the angle (with the exceptions of the Miz v Lawler rematch at Chamber which was pretty enjoyable and Stone Cold coming down and stealing the Special Guest Referee contract from JBL, which was amazing and Cole's anguished cries of THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY NIGHT! and his literal BEGGING for Stone Cold to show mercy only made it better) was just SUUUUCH garbage. And then literally every other segment I ever watched involving Heel Cole was garbage.

If there is a worse feeling than seeing something that you love and finding out that it was the only good part of a giant mess of poo poo, I don't know what it is.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2014 06:19

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

sticklefifer posted:

You sure like Papa Roach a lot.

I really liked the song they did that Raw used as a theme for a while. To Be Loved I think. It had a cool beat and good "these guys are fighting," lyrics.

Burn is also a really good song.

# ¿ Mar 11, 2014 06:38

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

TL posted:

That song had terrible lyrics for a wrestling show. Why would you kick the show off with someone singing about how they wanted to be loved?

1) Smackdown's theme for years was Manson's "Beautiful People."

2) I was talking about the verse lyrics. The ones about domination, submission, having a jet black heart, etc.

# ¿ Mar 11, 2014 07:08

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

It's also possible that he decided the show was a failure because He dropped from 100k views to 50k views over the course of those three episodes. Breaking that replica US title was cute though.

You know, if Zach turned heel and found a tag team partner, especially if it was Titus, I bet they could do well in the tag division since it's light on heels right now.

Yeah they're both average at best in ring work but they're both pretty great talkers and they'd have an interesting dynamic if they were basically just using each other to get further because they both want to be World Champion and will backstab each other whenever necessary to reach that goal.

Becoming a heel tag team with a unique dynamic gave Rybaxel a new lease on their careers, so why not Zach?

# ¿ Apr 11, 2014 08:42

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Not to imply a 1-to-1 comparison, but at their cores The Rock and Edge were pretty cartoonish and comedic in their presentations and characters, as is John Cena. I think the idea that guys like Bo Dallas, Tyler Breeze or Alex Rose can't possibly succeeded above the comedy midcarder Santino level is facetious. The burden is on them to make us believe they can be serious and threatening when the time for it comes, just as that burden was on Rock, Edge and Cena when their characters were cracking jokes, rapping or having sex in the ring.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2014 22:11

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

sticklefifer posted:

No wait, yeah they were. I just remembered what Randy's looked like back then. Carry on.

Whatever Orton's old tattoos were I'm glad he replaced them because it gave us the best commercial.

"That's a skull. That's a skull. That right there? That's a skull.

I

# ¿ Apr 23, 2014 19:16

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Endorph posted:

Well, sometimes you get thirsty when you're walking for miles inside this pit of danger.

That's why you swallow down a thousand years of anger. It'll quench ya.

# ¿ Apr 24, 2014 21:57

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Vertical Lime posted:

Coach ‏@CMPunk 27s
.@BaileyLAKings Okay lion. When the @NHLBlackhawks win, you wear a Hawks sweater in the Staples Center. #LAKvsCHI #BecauseItsTheCup

Why couldn't Punk be tweeting snarky things at the Ducks instead? That game 7 was the worst :smith:

# ¿ May 18, 2014 20:49

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Daniel Bryan posted:

John Cena

Call of Duty really is the perfect John Cena metaphor.

It was something that started out with all the potential in the world but never really went anywhere because it was in an ocean of identical products with no personality of it's own. Then one day it discovered something magical, something that broke the mold and rocketed it to a level that nobody even believed was possible. Everybody loved it, they paid unprecidented money to get it, and demanded more. Everyone was sure nobody could ever get tired of it.

But they did. Despite the fact that they kept getting the thing that they loved, it eventually became clear to fans that they didn't want that thing every single day forever. So they started to complain about it, talk about how despite the fact that it remained an excellent product, perhaps even the best product, it was stale. Innovation was what had made the product, but once the product was king innovation had died in favor of a financial sure-thing. The rehashing began, the same product kept coming to market over and over again with a coat of paint to disguise it's sameness, and worst of all everyone else in the industry put all their efforts into attempting to duplicate that product.

It was so good for so long that it literally ruined everything, and those who recognized that fact raised their voices louder and louder until what was once universally beloved became the most polarizing subject. It became a symbol around which every pundit and every opinion was able to rally, citing it as an example of everything right AND everything wrong with their industry.

But at the end of the day, the simple fact is that no matter how loud the complaints about the product get, people keep buying it.

# ¿ May 18, 2014 23:32

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

weekly font posted:

trap sprung nerd prepare for jackknife

I'm pretty sure BIG SEXY DADDY COOL THE SILVER FOX DEISEL, LEADER OF THE NWO WULFPAC AND THE OUTSIDERS KEVIN NASH would probably have Jacknifed him anyway.

# ¿ May 24, 2014 23:38

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

LividLiquid posted:

I'm disappointed that he used oval office as an insult.

I never really understood why that particular "anatomy as pejorative," was considered to be head and shoulders above every other one in the English language. Nobody blanches when someone gets called a cock or an rear end in a top hat.

# ¿ Jul 8, 2014 05:34

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Beef Jerky Robot posted:

Yeah and a fag is just a cig man why y'all getting all bent outta shape

It's not like the "C-word," has a different definition in different places. In every place it's slang for the same thing, and like most anatomical slang it is sometimes used as an insult. I was just saying I'm curious as to why it was the "winner," of the most offensive contest, even compared to other words associated with the same body part.

# ¿ Jul 8, 2014 05:42

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Gaz-L posted:

I don't care if it was a typo, I now believe KENTA calls him Funky-san.

Funky's on a (sushi) roll.

# ¿ Jul 26, 2014 01:41

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Endorph posted:

But yeah, nobody's subscribing to the network for legends house or whatever the gently caress.

Pretty much this. I enjoy the original content, but it's not what enticed me to buy the network, the current PPVs and the opportunity to watch all the old poo poo is.

The only thing that could possibly be a draw in my mind other than that content backlog would be a brand that's self-contained and Network exclusive, kind of like NXT. But I'm pretty sure nobody's going to buy into them trying to do that again after what happened to ECW.

# ¿ Jul 28, 2014 06:19

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Luigi Thirty posted:

*joke about being an anime goes here*

# ¿ Jul 30, 2014 07:02

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Daniel Bryan posted:

In contrast, Dolph Ziggler is not

https://twitter.com/HEELZiggler/status/495766218880471041

I dunno, I think Vickie kind of stole the show that time she got Triple H and Steph their Starbucks.

By a certain definition of stealing the show that involves being unable to look away from the horror and that being the only thing about the Raw anyone will remember

# ¿ Aug 3, 2014 04:49

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

TheJoker138 posted:

Trips started Raw with a promo where he said that's how much the WWE Network costs no less than 10 times and then they repeated it about 40 times over the course of the night.

Did anyone else get the impression after a certain point that King and JBL at least were doing it to be purposefully obnoxious? Like Vince was screaming at them to push the network price super hard so they gave him what he wanted to the point of counter-productivity? It looked like they were on the border of cracking up and purposefully picking the worst possible moments to mention it.

# ¿ Aug 5, 2014 22:32

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

I just like that somebody followed the advice in one of Austin's single sentence critique tweets and then told him so. Makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2014 03:19

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

rovert posted:

Facebook status update from Marty:

Call me a lie, and say you bet you won't.

# ¿ Aug 29, 2014 10:02

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

GAYMIEN SANDOW posted:

SJWs are those heels that actually tell the truth and people don't want to hear it so they boo them.

They all think they're CM Punk in the Strait Edge Society, but really most of them are Nikki Bella telling the crowd they're too fat to ever have a threesome with twins.

# ¿ Oct 3, 2014 04:15

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

ITT: Too many limes

# ¿ Oct 3, 2014 08:38

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

PunkBoy posted:

Well now I want to recruit AJ to guard my Mother Base in TPP.

AJ vs The Boss with CM Punk and Big Boss in their corners. Book it Danno.

# ¿ Oct 9, 2014 23:20

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Perigryn posted:

She's signed Zubaz?!

Matt and Pat would be so disappointed...

Man, Baz is the one thing that could save that Rinky Dink operation. (other than all the things from the "All We Need Is..." guy)

# ¿ Oct 11, 2014 00:00

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

waffle iron posted:

Yeah, no separation of church and state issues here.

Edit: When I heard he rides with Ziggler's crew, I was gobsmacked. A doctor getting that chummy with his patients is questionable.

Do the medical staff that work for other pro sports go out of their way to not get friendly with those players? I mean, when your work with them every day and travel around with them, isn't it natural to get kind of chummy?

# ¿ Dec 6, 2014 20:11

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Midnightghoul posted:

I doubt any of those hashtags are going to be trending

I think those hashtags are like the twitter equivalent of him wearing a mask with ECW sewn onto the back at One Night Stand.

# ¿ Dec 7, 2014 09:34

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Hace posted:

Tyson Kitten

So, is this going to end up being a race between Tyson and Breeze to see which one gets the "obnoxious annoying heel who is surprisingly a huge badass when he actually wrestles instead of the expected chickenshit coward" spot?

# ¿ Dec 9, 2014 07:54

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

I'm torn, because I find that comment legitimately amusing but "Brass Ring," is rapidly becoming my most hated WWE thing ever.

# ¿ Dec 12, 2014 04:50

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Sigma posted:

http://twitter.com/FightOwensFight/status/543283591594393600

Literally murdering Sami Zayn is like slipping on a comfy pair of shoes.

# ¿ Dec 12, 2014 07:03

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

MrBling posted:

lol

Tomorrow he'll wake up to a hundred calls about driving rail spikes.

# ¿ Dec 23, 2014 18:44

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Charles Gnarwin posted:

(also, it was John Henry who raced the steam engine )

I'm way more ashamed of this than I should be because I love history and mythology :eng99:

# ¿ Dec 23, 2014 23:12

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Two Beans posted:

I hope if they go through with this, they keep the speech verbatim, even referring to themselves as "THE ROAD DOGG JESSE JAMES! THE BAD rear end BILLY GUNN!!"

What you don't want to hear about how the Bullet Club proudly brings to you the 17 Time TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WOOOOORLD?

# ¿ Jan 7, 2015 09:12

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 07:16

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Tyson Tomko posted:

(I didn't think The Corre was that bad)

I missed pretty much that whole period, but drat when I went back and watched the 40 man Royal Rumble I was really interested and immediately invested in a Corre vs New Nexus feud. Punk and Barret were able to hook me immediately on the idea of two evil genius villains who hate each other going to war with their large stable of minions in a deadly game of wrestlechess. The brand split was virtually dead at that point anyway, the story of a cross-promotional gang war could have been a brilliant sendoff. Even if it just ended with Cena killing both guys again it still could have been a cool plotline and a triple threat between Barret, Punk and Cena could have been a MOTY candidate easily.

# ¿ Jan 16, 2015 09:45

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > Social Media: lmao listen and this is very important, I have no idea whats goin on

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