Terrible Car Stuff - Im sorry but in this thread we measure cargo capacity in shrimp

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > Terrible Car Stuff - Im sorry but in this thread we measure cargo capacity in shrimp

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KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

I personally am always a sucker for mspaint text and arrows pointing things out in a picture in a sincere/satirical manner.

tl:dr Tanmry blog is pretty cool.

# ¿ Jul 16, 2013 20:12

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# ¿ May 12, 2024 03:43

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

Boomerjinks posted:

Then you get some shitknuckle with a wicked case of short guy syndrome pulling a gun.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ucrJ9r6Tqok

And then it takes another guy with a gun to break up that fight

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FETleE14MfU

And then oh think of the children!

I had something like the first video happen, but there was no gun.

We were driving, 4 deep, on a back road and suddenly some dude in an Aztek cuts us off at a one lane bridge that crosses a stream. He slams his breaks and gets out and stuff, we were all "wtf, who is this guy" and he walks up to our window and like punches it. Up until that point we were all thinking "uh, ok well lets see what this guy has to say I guess?" Then as soon as he did that we all thought he was a dick and got out of the car.

Middle aged guy, young punk kids.

The video is nuts though because of how calmly the wife (I'm guessing it's his wife) get's his gun ready. I applaud her for being so in tune with her husbands needs but, drat lady. I also don't get how those two young kids were able to knock him over. The guy is a bit shorter but he looks stout like a weeble wooble that you can't knock over.

# ¿ Jul 17, 2013 19:22

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

11BulletCatcher posted:

I carry a 16 oz rubber mallet in my car now just for this reason. I've been fortunate to avoid most ragers, but I've had a few close encounters enough that I like to be prepared.

To get the engine running or beat someone back without leaving bruises?

# ¿ Jul 19, 2013 23:54

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

veedubfreak posted:

I saw some fuckhead on a rice rocket this morning weaving in and out of traffic going at least 90 without a single piece of gear, I think he even had on sandals.

What bearing do you think this has on said rider's junk?

# ¿ Jul 30, 2013 15:04

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

veedubfreak posted:

No, no, I was referring to the size of the truck owner's junk. There were 2 separate thoughts in my post.

Oh I understood what you meant, and I was extending it to said motorcycle rider.

# ¿ Jul 30, 2013 19:49

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

Kachunkachunk posted:

I think it's not something I'd want to have to do, myself. Getting into someone else's car without their consent is something you might get into some trouble for if caught in the act, despite them still being in the wrong for parking inconsiderately.

Yea I'd rather not have to steal a car just to move it a couple feet.

Wow that just reminded me of a terrible car thing relating to getting in other peoples cars. It lead to a fight and then death for the car owner who was rightly pissed about some stranger in his car.

# ¿ Aug 12, 2013 14:11

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

NoWake posted:

Saw something ugly today..

I honestly cannot tell if they're trolling or not.

Are those extra-long hot-dogs with uncooked spaghetti sticking out of them?

# ¿ Aug 29, 2013 13:36

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

re: Optima talk. Oh man, hopefully they have some 2013's left :ohdear:

I need to get a new car soon.

# ¿ Oct 7, 2013 20:51

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

Kill-9 posted:

Kind of hard to see in the smaller pic(click to embiggen) but it appears someone spraypainted over the name badge then removed the letters leaving a weird-rear end negative. Why would you do this?

Gotta find an inconspicuous place to check how the color matches, right?

# ¿ Oct 8, 2013 20:28

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

JackRabbitStorm posted:

In todays episode of it came from imgur

I wish I could see this thing 20 years from now.

# ¿ Nov 8, 2013 15:56

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

yyyyyy posted:

It's the crack in the windshield right?

# ¿ Nov 26, 2013 20:29

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

Das Volk posted:

Here's an episode of hoarders: cars waiting to happen

My driver rear tire looks the same as this. When I try to move it, it makes a terrible grinding sound. It was fine last night, now suddenly it's hosed up. So, so long 98 lumina. We had some good times.

How the hell can the car in the picture be drivable?

# ¿ Dec 28, 2013 21:10

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

Its like a percentage Increase results in different outcomes depending on the base value!

For another example see interest on monetary loans.

# ¿ Dec 29, 2013 01:48

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

Kenny Rogers posted:

I live in Denver, a city where the next closest similarly large city is 825 km away. The last time I took a road trip was 12 years ago. If I have to leave the Metro area, I fly.
Conversely, I spend 390 hours per year commuting back and forth to work.
ergo: There is no speed that I can go that will get me to my destination any faster than the speed limit, because, at best, it'll save me 2 minutes.
I'm not sure how on earth you came to the conclusion that my circumstances and experience apply as a global rule?

You are right that others mistakenly thought you were talking about everyone.

However, given how many hours you spend commuting, it could be said that you would benefit from speeding due to the fact that that large amount of time can be meaningfully changed by a small percentage change. 390 * 1% = 39 hours you could save per year. That's a work week. It might be 2 minutes a day, but add that up over a career and you start to see where moments of your life can evaporate unnoticed.

# ¿ Dec 30, 2013 08:21

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

88h88 posted:

It's utterly terrible yet I cannot bring myself to hate because it's just so loving ridiculous.

That thing in the background though? Nah.

It's like I'm in the future.

# ¿ Jan 15, 2014 16:49

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

Das Volk posted:

Because there's a big difference between "muted rasp in back with great induction sound up front" and "Diesel with an exhaust leak and a misfire" while playing fake engine sounds in the cockpit.

I couldn't figure out if the active muffler system had speakers playing muffler sound for the inside or outside of the car. I imagined 6x9's hidden in the wheel wells or something with a mic connected to the muffler that amplified the muffler. Or just a pre-recorded sound file that played.

Either way, they really play synthetic audio of a the muffler to the interior of the car?

# ¿ Jan 23, 2014 22:39

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

Slavvy posted:

Adui/vag have an electronically controlled solenoid connected to a steel diaphragm in the exhaust system. It oscillates at a carefully controlled frequency dictated by the engine management to cancel out unpleasant noises and 'enhance' the sound of the car. It's basically a speaker in the exhaust.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh. That makes more sense. That kind of system starts out as "how do we make the interior completely quiet?" You have a mic on the outside and play the inverse off that in the inside and the waves cancel.

This means that the level of ridiculousness I was trying to project on them was kind of unwarranted. It's more "hey we have this noise cancelling system, what else can we do with it?" than the BMW engineers being chav ricers or something.

# ¿ Jan 23, 2014 22:46

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

drukqs posted:

Male Neighbor requested a face to face chat.. very bizarre. Friendly and non confrontational but also he wont commit to saying I have sufficiently muffled my exhaust with the silencer... I am glad that I went ahead and ordered the datsun nuffler though.

Who is this guy? You've done enough. This dude is like teasing you along or something.

# ¿ Feb 14, 2014 21:57

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

xzzy posted:

When's your lease up?

Because I'd consider moving away from these creeps. How the hell do they have your email address anyways?

Packet sniffing on his wifi?

# ¿ Feb 14, 2014 22:23

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

Phone posted:

This belongs here

I see scooby doo on the left. A malformed scooby doo with a blue collar.

KoRMaK fucked around with this message at 22:27 on Mar 12, 2014

# ¿ Mar 12, 2014 22:24

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGdmoEWabg4

# ¿ Mar 28, 2014 19:40

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

Poisonlizard posted:

It's still on the road, so right thread.

Edit: Please tell me that truck in front of it is on the back of a flatbed and not a super bro truck.

When you Lease a Super Bro Pickup 4x420 you get a complimentary full-release Starbucks.

# ¿ Apr 2, 2014 03:19

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

Humbug Scoolbus posted:

I'm loving this

http://www.ktvu.com/news/news/crime-law/vandals-target-smart-cars-san-francisco/nfTJb/

quote:

Some vandals in San Francisco indulged in what could be considered the urban equivalent of "cow tipping" Monday morning, flipping three Smart cars where they were parked and damaging the vehicles.

xzzy posted:

Kids have no creativity, what you do is pick the car up and move it to a different parking spot. No damage and it freaks the owner out.

This is also good.

# ¿ Apr 8, 2014 20:25

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

West SAAB Story posted:

An original quote from the Forums' famous denzien Captain Trips.

I dunno sir or madam, your post is coming off like you've taken to much pain killers and have entered an un-inhibited grumpy phase.

# ¿ Apr 30, 2014 20:53

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

StormDrain posted:

I spent forever getting the sticker off of my wife's car, and she does not understand why I disliked it so. I'm not even sure why I don't like it, other than the advertising.

Don't advertise on me unless you are paying me.

# ¿ May 1, 2014 16:20

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

PainterofCrap posted:

Doesn't want to die in bed, does he?

Pedestrian comfy zones.

# ¿ May 7, 2014 22:48

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

Slavvy posted:

ptcruizer.com posted:
The first Chrysler PT Cruiser was loved for its ease of parking, use of space, and personality; and it held four full-sized adults and their luggage in comfort. The modified Watts suspension packed a lot of cornering and ride quality into a space smaller than a Neon on the outside, with more cargo space than many mid-sized cars on the inside.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA

Ease of parking. The elderly-est and handicap-iest of all criteria to buy a car on. Not to old or handicap shame or anything.

# ¿ May 19, 2014 02:36

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

Is there a place where we can go to debate self driving cars? The self-driving car will probably do better, even on dirt roads. Using even a kinect sensor a program can detect edges of the road/surface and without lines be able to figure out stuff. Driving was designed almost as if all the drivers would be robots: mindless drones who can not be trusted. A car is a mindless drone that can be trusted (more than a human).

# ¿ May 28, 2014 17:18

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

veedubfreak posted:

What exactly is going on here? I can tell it's a giant spider but it looks kind of crushed and/or dead.

I think a spider got sealed inside of the windshield during the pressing/layering process. Good QA.

# ¿ Jun 3, 2014 21:41

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

Guinness posted:

An electric car with even only a 100 mile range would cover 99% of my driving. The only things keeping me from buying one are:

1. No outlets in my apartment parking garage, and would be a huge hassle to try to get one installed, and 240v is probably right out of the question.
2. I don't want to pay over 40k for a new car right now (sorry Nissan Leaf you just aren't good enough).
3. None of the currently available electric cars short of a 100k Tesla are designed to be "fun".

Give me something more along the lines of a Mazda3 in terms of looks and fun for under 35k and I would strongly consider it, even if the range is ~100 miles.

4. Unable to do "rolling thunder" (a fad where you dump extra ions in a cloud around your vehicle that causes lightning)

# ¿ Jul 29, 2014 19:53

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

Fucknag posted:

No good for electric cars. Mr Fusion just powers the time circuitry and the hover unit, the car still needs gasoline to run.

That's bullshit. Rick had some old poo poo or something. Mr Fusion could definitely power a car for at least 60 miles on one banana peel. Probably like 500 on a used condom.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2014 06:26

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

atomicthumbs posted:

Good luck finding enough copper wire to build a motor in the Old West after it's all been stolen to sell for cowboy meth

Nice strawman.

We are talking about contemporary electric automobiles with a hypothetical Mr fusion.

Is it that hard to stay on topic in this thread?

# ¿ Aug 16, 2014 07:14

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

freelop posted:

If they reduce the rate of oil use it means they can run internal combustion for longer.
Eventually there will only be enough left for 1 racing car and a fighter jet to chase it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWPspYjPi3c

# ¿ Sep 5, 2014 18:19

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

MetaJew posted:

What does that even mean?

The mid years of the 2010 decade. Probably like 2003-3008

# ¿ Oct 6, 2014 18:21

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

Wasabi the J posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQik057778U

Two related videos away and I landed on this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWHQBcLgt8s

# ¿ Dec 21, 2014 19:19

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

neckbeard posted:

Someone's half-assed attempt to break into my car... lock still works though, thank you German over engineering

That reminds me of how my old 98 lumina got broken into. They popped through the door right under the lock, then just move the screwdriver around, snagged the lock bar and moved it. I was so suprised when I saw how easy it was. They got through it like paper almost. The perp was probably in and out in around a minute. I was also surprised by the construction of the door, it was just mostly fiberglass or something. Guy probably too a screwdriver, hit it with a hammer and was in. Thats when I noticed later models (like the 2001 Taurus) had the door lock raised out, like in your picture, to probably help protect from that. What a security vulnerability though. You'd think they would put some re-enforcement there like a pice of thick metal.

# ¿ Jan 23, 2015 05:28

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

cursedshitbox posted:

Ford superduties are hilariously easy to break into as well.

Yea thats it, the same M.O. Right below the lock

# ¿ Jan 23, 2015 05:32

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

i got a big package and drive a utility level sedan (optima)

come at me

# ¿ Feb 3, 2015 20:16

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

veedubfreak posted:

Along this logic, I'm finding that Kia and Hyundai are making huge leaps and bounds at taking over the entitled rear end in a top hat and can't drive for poo poo demographics away from BMW and Toyota.

Hell yea, bring it!

I drive like a grandpa, im in no rush to go anywhere and I keep like 5 car length distance on the freeway. What more ya got?

# ¿ Feb 3, 2015 20:32

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# ¿ May 12, 2024 03:43

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

nm posted:

I got my low HP tiny hatchback in the brightest color possible. I'm not sure if that makes my dick bigger or smaller, can AI help?

it demonstrates that you want attention but when its finally given to you, you just fumble. Definite bedroom problems

# ¿ Feb 3, 2015 22:24

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > Terrible Car Stuff - Im sorry but in this thread we measure cargo capacity in shrimp

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