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Excellent, a new thread. A resume came in! Or rather, entire truckloads. Some resume tips if you wish to get an actual interview: - Proofead your resume ... if you make thes kinds of gramatical and spelling errors what kind of code do you think we think you will write - When including references to applications that you've published, you may wish to remove the ones with only one review, which is for 1 star. - I'm glad that your debugging skills are so good that you felt compelled to point this out in your resume. Sadly, it doesn't indicate what you think it does. - Want to let us know how good you are? Then by means let us know that you are an expert in (insert 10 random widget classes here). This gives us an excellent indicator of your caliber. - Sometimes, listing too many technologies and skills is as bad as listing too few, especially when they're skills you (and the rest of the world) haven't used for decades. My kingdom for a competent mobile developer prospect 
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Aug 13, 2013 04:19
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Manslaughter posted:Hey, that's my product! I'll go upload the original icons somewhere now. I still laugh every single time I see this image. Every single time.
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Aug 13, 2013 22:42
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Were you pissing on the floor? Intentionally?
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Aug 14, 2013 01:22
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GI_Clutch posted:I'm just hoping the customer has learned a lesson from this. They did, the same lesson always learned: you are responsible for their mistakes.
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Aug 14, 2013 03:25
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toe shoes posted:Turn on keyboard shortcuts and 'e' will archive for them. This does rely on the user being able to learn something or you being able to get in there and create a custom binding to archive on press of delete though. That's ridiculous, this kind of user would never end up using anything but del anyw- Superdawg posted:I wound up writing a macro that moved the message(s) to another folder and giving it a pig icon. 
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Aug 15, 2013 05:06
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ratbert90 posted:Oh hey, calm down mister! If you want depressing stuff, from the old poo poo that pisses you off thread my company can be amazing sometimes. But Android comes from git repos, why are you not just using git in the first place so that you get the benefit of the histories
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Aug 15, 2013 18:21
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Dilbert As gently caress posted:E: Also I need a new avatar just realized that more than half the people who like this show are furfags, and don't care about the actual show. Has this ruined being a Brony for you? I'm not even sure what to respond to here, it's like a haiku.
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Aug 17, 2013 02:41
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Lum posted:It's a good show, me and my GF both watch it, but I'd never call myself a Brony (or rather a Pegasister, I guess). It's about time we actually had some quality TV aimed at young girls, and I really don't care if 20-something dudes want to watch it as well. It's just a shame that some of them are creepy Fedora types that have appropriated the show and ruined it, not helped by the produces actually trying to engage with them (The Derpy fiasco etc.) I haven't watched it, but I figure there are plenty of adults who like it because apparently it has adult-friendly humor (something that I'm learning makes children's television MUCH more bearable as a parent). I'm just kind of amazed that not only is he shocked at the number of furries, but that he felt like pointing it out in this particular thread as an aside. I'm annoyed that little girls' toys are "the pink isle" with nothing but vapid dolls and doll houses, but this isn't really the appropriate place to vent about it.
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Aug 17, 2013 16:27
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AlexDeGruven posted:And it's a busy day for me, it seems. Wouldn't she be bottomless as well if she's on the toilet?
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Aug 19, 2013 21:58
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ShadowStalker posted:The owner of the law firm approached my wife about having me come be there IT guy but balked at a 6 figure salary when he's only paying like $30k a year for his 3rd party IT. An abject lesson in "you get what you pay for." You might want to float the idea of charging consulting rates anyway.
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Aug 19, 2013 23:04
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Helushune posted:I'm fine with keyboard replacements, those need to happen pretty frequently. This person literally took their finger nail and popped off a key and hoped I wouldn't try to put it back on. I pushed it back on, smiled at them, and said "Good thing we didn't have to get you a brand new one, huh?". The look of disappointment was almost picture worthy. Their laptop is going to have an unfortunate accident, I guarantee it.
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Aug 21, 2013 19:37
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I just set up synergy to work across 3 computers using SSH tunneling. Not a huge accomplishment but still 
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Aug 21, 2013 20:59
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Khisanth Magus posted:About 30 tickets and an email came in: Push back and tell your boss that you won't do the work of two people unless he feels like paying you to do the work of two people. Tell him that if he disagrees, it might be best to set up an action plan with HR. SubjectVerbObject posted:I would like to point out that there has not been any update or resolution on the puppy in the data center issue. This is unacceptable. If this were PI there would be many people expressing concern about Puppy Explosion Syndrome. Please do the needful. I am also waiting for an update here.
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Aug 22, 2013 20:09
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thelightguy posted:gently caress it, create a subforum for IT bitching so "there's a puppy in my datacenter" can have its own thread. We still need an update on that ticket 
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Aug 24, 2013 16:44
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Helushune posted:Enabling it interferes with a bunch of legacy applications that are still pretty critical, the incredibly odd way we handle some roaming profiles, and the way some old group policies were written before I started working here. There's a bunch of really odd logon scripts that copy php scripts to the local c:, run php.exe off some server that I haven't been able to find yet, and then apply various computer and registry settings instead of, you know, doing all that through group policy like a normal sysadmin. As far as I can tell, my predecessors couldn't figure out group policy but they kind of knew php scripting so they just did everything through that instead. You should make getting rid of this horrific situation your highest priority. I sincerely hope you're just joking about this.
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Aug 25, 2013 17:34
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Dick Trauma posted:Congratulations! T-Mobile is almost this bad. You need to tell the nice robot lady who you need to talk to today. She'll give you two tries, and if she doesn't understand you after the second try for any level, she'll say "Sorry, I'm afraid I couldn't understand you. Goodbye!" AND DISCONNECTS THE CALL. I nearly threw my phone through the window the first time this happened.
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Aug 26, 2013 23:30
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dennyk posted:I guess too many customers finally figured out that just screaming incoherently while mashing the 0 button repeatedly would usually get you to a live person without having to deal with their bullshit menus, which meant they still had to actually Right, this is exactly why they did it. Someone got a bonus for making an awful, awful support system that made me strongly tempted to switch providers right then and there.
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Aug 27, 2013 13:30
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Paladine_PSoT posted:It's called a throbber. I would think goons would be all over using that term. I thought it was called the pinwheel?
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Aug 27, 2013 18:00
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fivre posted:He speaks entirely in txt speak This makes me irrationally angry, when coworkers type like semi-literate teens on our internal messenger. Type out "you", not "u", you layabout!
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Aug 29, 2013 01:50
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chia posted:Subject: "The Guy" here writes his entire email on the loving subject line regards "the guy" We have a guy who does that. He'll ask a short question in the subject and have no message body. I've started replying directly in the subject line to him.
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Aug 29, 2013 22:42
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jim truds posted:Yeah, not sure if that alone would get him fired but he is quickly proving to be a bit useless and full of bullshit. He keeps telling stories of how great he is but none of the training seems to be sticking. He also brags about his unreal tournament clan from many years ago. Now that I describe him I've realized he is just He brags about a UT clan? To strangers? Sounds more like  to me.
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Aug 30, 2013 03:47
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GargleBlaster posted:I'm having trouble downloading from my butt. I installed this a couple of months ago and never looked back. Now all of my documents are securely stored in my butt, where only the NSA can see them.
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Aug 31, 2013 16:50
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bitterandtwisted posted:While sorting out a new phone for her she said she was getting an exorcist in. She wasn't smiling when she said it. I would assume that she was serious. In any event, you should start charging her department for any future "incidents"
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Sep 1, 2013 15:44
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NZAmoeba posted:Does she have a toddler? Toddlers love to put things in other things. If the toddler is putting things into the oven there is a larger problem.
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Sep 2, 2013 06:10
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SubjectVerbObject posted:HOLY MOTHER OF GOD YOU KEEP YOUR WIFE AND KIDS IN THE. Oh never mind. Sorry read that wrong. Haven't had coffee yet. Carry on. The real question is whether you're upset that he kept them in a closet, or that they're able to access the server room.
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Sep 2, 2013 15:56
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frogbert posted:That poo poo's the worst. You spend all night dreaming about a bog standard day at work, then you wake up and actually have to go to work for real. It's like a triple shift. I once dreamed that I was a database. It turns out that being a database is really dull and your day is taken up doing joins and stuff.
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Sep 3, 2013 00:15
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Kyrosiris posted:And it's not like a subject/body style system? You just have 256 characters period, end of story? Holy crap. Every ticket must be in the form of a haiku.
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Sep 3, 2013 20:03
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incoherent posted:Then you reply "Look at how little of an effort it took me  "Why don't you put this effort into our relationship?!"
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Sep 4, 2013 22:34
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1290823 I signed in for kicks a couple of years ago. Nothing but spambots It's still annoying that AOL bought them just to do absolutely nothing useful with them.
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Sep 6, 2013 04:05
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EAT THE EGGS RICOLA posted:I'm not replying until Monday morning, my boss already forwarded it to me with a "what". She'll just be told "this printer is for the partner to use" and you'll be scolded for having not put it back and having not had her set up with a printer.
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Sep 7, 2013 13:32
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Dr. Arbitrary posted:Maybe if your job involves sending and receiving a variety of large files it'd make sense because you could fill up over the weekend. Having worked on software that shipped on mobile devices, I (my group actually) was on many device-dev-specific mailing lists. Every day, I would get about 20mb worth of .xls files containing the full test reports about how device QA can verify that build 1234 is safe to flash. Suffice to say, even with auto archive and rules, having enough space in your mailbox can be critical.
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Sep 8, 2013 04:27
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MJP posted:Nothing makes you think YotJ than an email where your manager expresses his disappointment at the transposition of two digits on a new hire's phone # in AD. Because there is nothing less than catastrophic about the business-critical production-affecting failure where 321 should have been 123! Express disappointment at the transposition of letters in his email 
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Sep 9, 2013 15:15
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So when you say "fire them" do you mean your current job, or the client whose site you're hosting? Also, as fun as it would be, I'd advise against turning it into hello.jpg or anything. You may not want to let the domain expire, however; renew it but be sure to lock it!
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Sep 9, 2013 22:05
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Orcs and Ostriches posted:I thought I saw a site somewhere that had instances like this where a business shafts a web host or developer. In said instances, the contractor in question kept the domain, kept hosting the site, but had a few banners in the page stating that said company was refusing to fulfill their end of the contract with payment, etc. That's basically what I'm thinking. Tell them that they've got two weeks to either pay the invoice or make reasonable accommodations to do so.
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Sep 10, 2013 00:22
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toe shoes posted:ftfy This is never a good idea unless you know 100% that you'll never work with these people or anyone that they work with. At least not until they come back and say "this isn't very good volunteering, now fix it like a good volunteer"
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Sep 10, 2013 03:52
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nitrogen posted:Mister Helpdesk  Looking forward to blackswordca's response. I'd also love to know if this is a business, or a non-profit, or what. I'd also love to know if their site even gets traffic.
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Sep 10, 2013 12:47
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I recently switched from a Windows laptop to a Macbook Pro. We use Outlook for email, and the rules system for Outlook is driving me absolutely crazy. Not only do you have certain rules that can only be client side rules, such as, say, permanently deleting certain types of emails that you know to be spammy, or marking them read, not only do those rules ONLY work on the windows client, but you CANNOT DELETE THOSE RULES FROM THE MAC OUTLOOK CLIENT, NOR CAN YOU DISABLE THEM SO THAT OTHER RULES CAN RUN. Holy hell Microsoft, what in the world is this? Why are you intentionally making me never want to use you again?
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Sep 11, 2013 15:49
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TWBalls posted:What? Where do you work that Several jobs ago, the day after the 3 hour drunken lunch which has been henceforth referred to as "The Incident", everyone came in to a copy of the employee handbook and an email telling them to sign that they've read it. My current job has Happy Hour on Friday at 4:30, where there is a generous selection of alcohol and ping-pong.
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Sep 12, 2013 03:30
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kensei posted:A guy came in today for a meeting with our marketing department, in full peacock mode.  I wouldn't even know what to do. Maybe pour nacho cheese into his novelty hat and get out the chips? -Troika- posted:I have relatives who think they know more about networking than they actually do demanding I fork up the router password for the router which I purchased and support on my own dime. To be fair, it's their own network, even if you're effectively giving them a support contract. Let them know that if they'd prefer not to have it, you can just take it back.
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Sep 12, 2013 18:08
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Volmarias posted:I recently switched from a Windows laptop to a Macbook Pro. We use Outlook for email, and the rules system for Outlook is driving me absolutely crazy. Not only do you have certain rules that can only be client side rules, such as, say, permanently deleting certain types of emails that you know to be spammy, or marking them read, not only do those rules ONLY work on the windows client, but you CANNOT DELETE THOSE RULES FROM THE MAC OUTLOOK CLIENT, NOR CAN YOU DISABLE THEM SO THAT OTHER RULES CAN RUN. Oh, here's another fun aspect of using outlook on a mac: There's no auto-archive feature. How do you prune old emails? YOU SET UP A RULE. https://answers.uchicago.edu/page.php?id=28555 I'm really starting to wish that we could move to a webmail client. gently caress outlook forever.
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Sep 16, 2013 17:53
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