Sex Questions Megathread: I got herpes from my grandma

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Sex Questions Megathread: I got herpes from my grandma

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

Crankit posted:

Is it like working up in size of things in the butt?

Yes. Start with just a finger. If it goes well, try it again for a few sessions, until more fingers looks like it'd be fun. Work your way up to penis slowly, over a period of several sessions. I once read it put as "the idea is that your wang ends up looking like a new fun butt toy to play with, rather than a big scary painful looking thing".

# ¿ Mar 30, 2014 14:24

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 01:00

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

Kimmalah posted:

A lot of women do that because the forward/backward grinding thing is often what feels good for them on top, while the up and down doesn't do a whole lot feeling-wise. So sometimes you've got to do a little of both for everyone to have a good time.

Bending over can work really well sometimes too, if the guy braces his feet and does some thrusting.

Well, the other thing that works is up-and-down, but using fingers on her clit at the same time, or even just a thumb.

# ¿ Mar 31, 2014 07:52

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

Violet_Sky posted:

I can't seem to relax when I masturbate. I try to do when I'm lying down, but then my brain says "Okay, we've got to climax so that we can feel normal to other people. Our vagina isn't broke-ah,crap arousals gone again." I'm female, by the way.

How do I masturbate normal?

From your description, your vagina is in fact working perfectly normally. Relax. Relax relax relax relax relax. Don't worry about climaxing. don't put any pressure on yourself to come. Just do what feels good, without thinking that you have to make yourself come. If you're not worrying about it, the chances of it happening improve.

# ¿ Apr 13, 2014 12:46

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

MNSNTZR posted:

My boyfriend has recently expressed to me that he wants to be on the receiving end of some anal play. I have had some experience with this before with previous partners, but the effort was clumsy and not really pleasurable for anyone. So I do have some questions about the logistics of it, but they're a little secondary.

My main concern is that he's one of those "is this gay" guys, and I'm really not sure how to convincingly tell him that it isn't without just being like "nah man i'mma girl it's cool." What can I do to ease his mind about this, and how can I ease him into doing the act itself? I told him that he should probably experiment with doing it himself for a little while as well, but I'm not sure if that was the proper thing to say.

If you're a dude who's into dudes, then you're gay. That's about it. But everyone - queer, straight, male, female, cis or trans - has nerve endings in their butthole which feel good when they're played with.

And yes, telling him to give it a go himself is the way to do it. Also: tell him if he's going to stick anything up there other than his fingers to only use something designed specifically for the purpose. Particularly a toy with a flared base. Otherwise you risk losing the object in your arsehole and needing to go to the hospital to get it removed, which is something that happens literally all the time.

Hydrolith fucked around with this message at 04:21 on May 5, 2014

# ¿ May 5, 2014 04:15

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

Well, not that there's anything wrong with being gay or bi anyway, nor does being gay preclude a guy from being a big beefy sweaty manly dominant type. Just sayin.

# ¿ May 5, 2014 05:50

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

hoobajoo posted:

Absolutely, but when a guy says "Does butt stuff make me gay", my response isn't going to be "You can be gay, that's fine!"

Yeah, when you put it like that, good point.

# ¿ May 5, 2014 08:23

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

WreckSov posted:

I feel this video has a special relevance to our dear sexthread

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oM2PwriqOjc

Wow.

Did she start sucking on the microphone or something?

# ¿ May 13, 2014 23:54

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

Octy posted:

So I've been casually seeing someone for the last couple of weeks. First time I've ever come this far with a girl. Our third date was at hers last night. Thing is, I had a lot of trouble keeping it up, which I'm sure wasn't helped by the three beers I'd had, but even so, I'd had three beers on our second date and I couldn't keep it down then, although we only made out. She was cool about it as she has her own sexual issues and we were both nervous, so in the end I focused on pleasuring her which is good experience as far as I'm concerned. But even in the morning I still had trouble. I don't think I was nervous about being naked. In fact, I felt I became quite comfortable with it, as well as touching her and being touched, much to my surprise. What we did was a lot of fun, really (and that ought to be the most important thing after all). But as much as she says she finds my awkwardness and nervousness 'endearing', I don't think it'd be a good look if I had trouble next time. I admit I've become a little too reliant on porn to get me off, and even though it's not something I look at every time, cutting it out seems fairly obvious. Are there any other remedies on how to manage this problem?

Oh, I'm a 23 year old male for reference. Mostly physically healthy, but I've always suffered from social anxiety, though I've sought treatment over the years to help manage it and it's nowhere near as bad as it used to be.

Relax. Chillax. Chill the gently caress out. Take the pressure off, it's not going to help you perform.

This lady has said she's cool with you being nervous, so she's clearly patient and Not An Arsehole. Take it slow. Don't worry about whether you're going to be able to perform or not. Just think about having fun sexy times. If you're hard at the time, you're hard. If you're not, you're not, and you can just use fingers/tongue/whatever else.

Really, there's nothing else you can do, and nothing kills boners (and ladyboners, for that matter) like stressing out about it.

Allow yourself the possibility that you might not be able to perform, let it go, and chances are you'll be fine.

# ¿ May 18, 2014 02:47

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

Well, it's a bit different for dudes, because of the prostate, which does feel nice when stimulated.

# ¿ May 20, 2014 08:01

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

Wizard Master posted:

HI I 33 yrs old. i have geeting problem about sexually. i am very very week in sex. even sometimes my penis cannot stand. what is the sulotion may i know please.

This is the price man must pay for wizard mastery.

# ¿ Jun 6, 2014 14:46

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

Would a jelly dildo work with a condom on, from the point of view of not needing to wash it afterwards?

# ¿ Jun 11, 2014 12:52

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

loki k zen posted:

Suspicious Lump:

If you're using an object, use one with a flared base. Preferably one designed for the purpose of going in your butt, with a condom on it, and also its made of a non-porous substance like pure silicone, hard plastic, pyrex glass or stainless steel.

I'd go so far as to say: for god's sake, do not use anything that was not designed for the purpose. If you use something without a flared base, you run the risk of it getting lost up there (see loki's link, it happens alarmingly often), but if you use something not built for purpose you risk it breaking. There are gifs out there of people shoving glass stuff up their butts and it shattering. If it's anything that can crack or splinter, don't put it anywhere near your tuchus. Err on the side of caution.

# ¿ Jul 16, 2014 12:45

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

Grand Prize Winner posted:

Me and my partner are both really into giving oral. She likes receiving from me, but I really don't enjoy it when she blows me. She tends to use more teeth than strictly necessary and the choking noise grosses me out more than turns me on. Open and honest communication is key here, but I'm really bad at positive criticism. How do I suggest that she blow me better without sounding like an unappreciative rear end in a top hat?

Or maybe it's me? I have never enjoyed any BJ I've ever had.

What's wrong with "ow. Please watch the teeth"?

e:

dovetaile posted:

Hello sex thread!

I have trouble orgasming but it's only with my partner of three years. (Nearly all of my orgasms by myself are hands-free or anally.) I'm a trans guy so I don't really enjoy vaginal sex of any stripe but I do enjoy anal. I've gotten close to coming with him loving my rear end-the closest was this past week when we did bareback for the first time.

I'm also on a couple of psych meds (lexapro and seroquel) but I tend to skip the lexapro when we see each other.

Any tips to help me come? It's something I would like to do with him. I can get very close there's just some hurdle blocking me. (I also do tend to ah squirt when I come, which honestly is probably contributing to this but I can't exactly turn that off.)

I found Buck Angel's story really interesting (http://stayingnegative.net.au/stories/buck-angels-story). He calls himself "the man with a pussy". I'm not trans, and more importantly I'm not you, but your post made me think of this bit:

quote:

MY VAGINA IS PART OF ME
Chapter:
10.
My vagina is part of me

I would not get penetrated because it felt female to me and I was not okay with that. Then this one time, I remember I was masturbating and I penetrated myself and it actually felt good. I thought �why am I so weird about my vagina? Everything else about my body is feeling great to me, why am I so disgusted by this one part of my body?� It started to feel pleasurable and it actually started to become empowering. Then I started meeting girls who were okay with it. The first girl who was really okay with penetrating me, but as a man, was life-changing. There was no judgement at all, she knew she was having sex with a guy. It was never that I felt female with her, she was really good at keeping that male energy with me.

I then realised that it doesn�t matter, there are going to be people out there who totally respect and understand me. That was the last part of me becoming whole as a man. I am a big believer in sex as part of a human understanding your body and I am a big believer of really loving your body as it is. If you don�t have the opportunity to change or not change, you have to learn to love what you have or you�ll never be happy. That was the last part of becoming myself; really learning to accept my vagina.

I have embraced it so much now, I can�t even imagine why I would get a penis. It would never happen now and it�s not even a thought in my mind. I think it also has a lot to do with the partners I meet that really like the fact that I am a man with a vagina. I can tell they like it, it�s not as if they�re just tolerating. Most women I have sex with are bisexual women, so it�s not like they dislike penis or don�t dislike vagina, it�s just that they really enjoy being with a man that has that. (Bi-Victoria)

The men that I have sex with are totally gay but the women I have sex with identify as lesbian, which I don�t really understand.
A lesbian is someone who is attracted to another female but I do have lesbians that are attracted to me. I think I have confused the lesbian women!!

Hydrolith fucked around with this message at 01:15 on Jul 29, 2014

# ¿ Jul 28, 2014 22:10

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

AlbieQuirky posted:

The trans dudes I know well enough to talk about this stuff with are all about the clitcock/cockclit/whatever their pet name for it is. But that's them, so take that for what it's worth.

Anyway, without a prostate, you're likely to need more pressure to come from anal, so you being face down rear end up is probably the optimal position.

This is more or less what I was getting at. Most cis vagina-havers can't come without clitoral stimulation, even during vaginal penetration. I haven't seen stats on anal penetration, though I can't imagine the numbers would be much higher.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2014 18:10

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

Well, it looks like the prop was custom made for the show. Maybe find yourself a custom dildosmith? Or, failing that, email a few manufacturers directly and see if they have any ideas?

# ¿ Aug 8, 2014 09:10

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

Gravitas Shortfall posted:

Sex Questions Megathread III: Find yourself a custom dildosmith

On that note, I wonder if Dick Smith could help.

(probably not).

# ¿ Aug 8, 2014 13:29

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

Flared base, flared base, flared base, flared base, flared base, flared base, flared base. For god's sake. Should be top of the list.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2014 00:13

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

hoobajoo posted:

Oh, to touch on butt stuff, a lot of people here recommend trying it because it is very pleasurable if done safely, and a lot of people haven't tried it. It can stimulate the prostate in men as well, which is a very different kind of feeling, and can help with issues like anorgasmia or just intensifies cumming. But it's a more advanced sex activity, and extra good communication and a lot of warm up and lube is required. I wouldn't recommend trying it until both of you are more comfortable with your sex life, unless she specifically requests it.

If you're interested, you can always try it by yourself and see if you like it, but I wouldn't try it as a couple until you're more comfortable with each other in the boudoir.

Yep. The solution to "how can I get my shy girlfriend to enjoy sex more" isn't "stick it in her arse".

# ¿ Aug 27, 2014 23:33

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

The Door Frame posted:

I had a buddy who did that with his girlfriend. Only he was 400 lbs and she was 320 lbs so penetrative sex wasn't really going to work for them without a ton of effort

On that note, the funniest thing I ever heard about sex, from a backpacker I met overseas:

quote:

Each crease is like a different woman. loving a fat girl is the next best thing to a threesome

Hydrolith fucked around with this message at 23:42 on Sep 5, 2014

# ¿ Sep 5, 2014 04:00

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

FROOOOOOOOG posted:

Girth is my problem too - my other partner is longer but thinner and it's great.

also not universally applicable!

Now I just need to find a place I can get it in Australia for less than $25.

If you're in Australia, maybe try Wet Stuff? http://www.usreviewingthings.com/reviews/lubes/201-wet-stuff

# ¿ Sep 5, 2014 07:00

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

John Lee posted:

Alright, I had trouble deciding whether this should go in this thread or E/N, but I decided to go with here, since it's an entirely sexual problem:

I'm a penishaver, and my partner is one of those types of people with a vagina. When we're having PIV sex, though, she always rubs her clitoris while we're doing it. I heard from a friend of mine that this was common among girls he had been with, but I've had extended sexual relationships with a number of other women, and none of them did this. It makes me feel entirely removed from the proceedings at hand; essentially, it doesn't matter what I'm doing down there, because she'll just masturbate no matter what, which in turn makes me feel entirely surplus to requirements.

I made a helpful chart here:

(Yes, sex shouldn't be entirely orgasm-based and all, but it's a good measure of if you find something sexy, and she reports that sex without the touching is unsatisfactory)

As you can see, the DICK column appears to have no correlation with the ORGASMS results. For her part, she claims that she enjoys PIV, but she enjoys a lot of other things, too. I enjoy all kinds of things that don't give me sexual pleasure, and I'm lost as to how to feel about this. Any protips to get my head on straight?

Most women can't come without clitoral stimulation. That's just how it is.

What you can do, however, is use your own fingers on her during PIV sex, if you really want to be the one to cause the orgasms. Girl-on-top works well for this.

# ¿ Sep 28, 2014 05:49

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

Turtlicious posted:

There is never a point where I'm going to forget the word that will stp someone from sounding me.

That may be because my safeword is the phrase, "Holy gently caress don't do that, what is wrong with you you weirdo."

Sure, because you're obviously not into BDSM or shoving things into your dickhole. But you get the point in a safe word not being "holy gently caress, don't do that", right? Some people get off on things like rape fantasy, and it's a way to manage that safely. Something like "no means yes, but red means no stop pretend-rape over".

Hydrolith fucked around with this message at 09:02 on Oct 27, 2014

# ¿ Oct 27, 2014 07:24

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

AltruisticNemesis posted:

Him- 29yo male, daddy issues, mental issues (depression, mild narcissism, anxiety), abandonment issues. Raised in a smothering, very tea party, fundamentalist Christian household. He is in a well paying, cushy job- though the subject matter he has to review is NWS/NMS in order to prevent that material from getting to the masses on the internet, with him unable at times to "shrug it off". He was handpicked to be a supervisor by his superiors for this job, though supervising is new to him and he is having problems. He is in therapy now, after me suggesting multiple times, and goes every 1-2 weeks. He is having major family problems regarding money, a store his father owns and embezzlement by his sister of his entire trust fund ($100k.)

We are in a semi-open relationship - where flings are okay if approved beforehand, and ideally the extra person will be played with by both of us simultaneously (threesomes, etc.) At any time either person can say no, stop, etc. at any moment and everything will stop (yay consent culture.)

He has broken trust a few times during our "openness escapades"-- Example: after I had said no regarding a specific girl he let himself be tricked into breaking the rules in a BDSM scene. Then recently, after I was released from the hospital (chronic autoimmune disorders) and still sick in bed, I discovered he had emailed casual encounters on craigslist, wanting to "play with them" and sending pictures of himself. He has also struggled with compulsive masturbation, even taking breaks at work upwards of 3 times a day to jerk it in a stall. As far as I know he has not slept with anyone without permission outside the relationship.

When he is not depressed and riddled with issues from work and family he is trustworthy, open, communicative... Happy. And we are happy.
We have discussed his problems. I understand his issues and he described his masturbation as "something he can control" and a "distraction from the pain"... something I understand as an ex-cutter. He has admitted he has a problem. And he is talking to his therapist about it. I am also trying to help and be understanding.

Is there a way I can assist him during his recovery without being naggy, motherly, bitchy? Is there something I can tell myself to help with coping and not blame myself?

After I discovered the emails I was livid. But eventually I switched from pissed and screaming to identifying his problem and being more supportive - while still being like "nah son, you done hosed up- but we are going to get through this problem - but I'm still pissed like hella."
After I talked to him about it and we had a long discussion regarding it, he seemed softer. He cried and apologized and told me he wants to be better. I'm new to sexual addiction, but have helped others with chemical addiction. It's harder for me with sexual addiction/compulsion because its so easy to doubt yourself, your worth and the relationship when he cant control his dick. He seems willing to work on it.

If anyone has any tips from when they went through this or anything like that....anything I can use to help both of us through this, it would be greatly appreciated.

(sorry if this doesn't make much sense. I'm still on the mend from the hospital and on medications so please excuse my lack of eloquence.)

All I'm getting from this is that he has a very high sex drive (which is not a problem, and I don't see why you should regard as a problem to be cured) and that he can't be trusted to respect boundaries you set (which IS a problem). I don't think the two are linked, and I don't think there's fundamentally anything wrong with needing to jack it 3+ times a day either (it's weird, sure, but that's about it). "let himself be tricked into breaking the rules" smells like a bullshit excuse, too.

Putting that aside: does his therapist think he has a sex addiction? Has anyone qualified actually diagnosed him with that? That's the important bit. In which case, follow/ask for their advice. If not, don't try to fix him.

However, if he keeps transgressing relationship boundaries you set, I would regard that as the most major issue. You'd need to then either be ok with him sleeping around, or not be ok with it and dump him. I don't see any other way around that.

# ¿ Oct 29, 2014 04:33

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

There we go, then. Fishmanpet, just tell her her vagina is "sick nasty".

# ¿ Nov 5, 2014 21:50

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

Don't get your sex-ed from stand-up routines...

There's nothing wrong with fingers being used for clitoral stimulation during PiV. You can also use your fingers to directly stimulate her g-spot, which is not as easy to do with your dick. As far as I know, it can be tricky for women to reach their g-spot themselves, and the sensation is quite different, so it's not quite the same thing as a hand job for guys.

Or, simply put: put a condom on, stick your dick in her, play with her clit.

# ¿ Nov 9, 2014 02:16

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

GuyDudeBroMan posted:

Hate to say it dude but it sounds like one of the following:

1) He has a medical condition that is loving him up.
2) He is jerking off constantly without you knowing about it.
3) He is cheating on you.

Or that's just how he's wired.

Zero, I'd get him to see a doc. There's always the chance that your libidos are just mismatched, though.

# ¿ Nov 10, 2014 10:44

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

beefart posted:

My girlfriend wants to try anal when she comes to visit in a couple days, but wants to start with toys first before moving on to my dong. Neither of us has been into the butt forest before and I have no idea what toys would feel best for her. Any suggestions?

Get her to start with her fingers by herself to get started, to get a feel for things.

For toys, get something specifically designed for anal. IE something with a flared base or a "hilt" or similar. Do not get a regular dildo, or improvise with anything else, or it will eventually get lost up there and you'll have to go to the hospital to get it out (the literally happens all the time).

# ¿ Jan 5, 2015 21:53

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

The Born Approx. posted:

Well. A girl who I started dating recently and am really into dropped the H bomb on me. She was super upfront about everything and made sure to tell me before anything happened, so I trust her when she tells me that she's on medication for it, etc.

Still...I read the link about it in the OP, and consulted some other resources such as planned parenthood, and I'm still not sure what to think. Apparently, even if she takes her meds regularly, and isn't having outbreaks, and we use a condom 100% of the time, I'm still at pretty significant risk of catching it from her. It almost sounds like if we were in a long term sexual relationship, it'd be more "probable" than "possible" that I'd eventually become infected, too.

This sucks...I've never faced the prospect of a partner with an STD before. I'm super into her, but the more I think about it, the more it seems like this should be a deal breaker for my own safety. Anyone have any thoughts? I don't want to talk to any RL friends about this because I don't think it'd be right to tell them something so personal about this girl.

The H bomb being "herpes" or "HIV"? I'm guessing HIV?

# ¿ Jan 10, 2015 23:43

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

If it's herpes, I really wouldn't be that worried. There was a great documentary on herpes on a few months ago that goes into living with herpes. Apparently the worst part about it is the stigma. The actual disease itself is really not much of a big deal.

Worth watching. http://www.abc.net.au/tv/openingshot/episode/1/

e: crap, that's the behind the scenes vids. I can't find the actual thing. It's called "Dating the H-Bomb". Was quite lighthearted.

Hydrolith fucked around with this message at 05:09 on Jan 11, 2015

# ¿ Jan 11, 2015 05:04

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

gently caress da Mods posted:

does anyone have any experience with scat play? How do we keep it all sanitary

Microwave your poo poo first, to kill the bacteria.

# ¿ Mar 31, 2015 06:13

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

89 posted:

I'm dating a girl right now and she's on birth control. She never misses a pill and is very adamant about staying on top of it. She says she's more worried about getting pregnant than I am. I always use the pull out method (I've tried different kind of condoms countless times and can't maintain an erection with them). She says that it would be fine to ejaculate in her and she's not worried about it. I've talked to a couple of friends and from their experiences they also back that statement up. That as long as the girl doesn't miss a pill, cream pie away.

Sex thread, input? Can I really trust birth control?

Here are the raw numbers:

https://www.optionsforsexualhealth.org/birth-control-pregnancy/birth-control-options/effectiveness

If she doesn't miss a pill, it's 99.7% effective. With typical use, it's 92% effective. That's pretty drat good.

Pulling out, on the other hand, is 96% effective if you never once screw up, but typically it's more like 73% because mistakes happen.

In other words: yes, you can trust the pill. It's about as effective as it gets, short of IUDs or sterilization, and it's not even trailing those by any practical difference.

Hydrolith fucked around with this message at 06:43 on Aug 6, 2015

# ¿ Aug 6, 2015 02:18

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

89 posted:

Yeah, she always goes to the bathroom after.

Hydrolith posted:

If she doesn't miss a piss

Oh god damnit.

# ¿ Aug 6, 2015 06:42

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

black.lion posted:

Oh I'm familiar with the magic wand ofc, was hoping for something that didn't require an outlet - buuuuut if that's just absolutely THE most pleasing appliance to the female anatomy...

e: Is the rechargeable version of the same quality? I know I just shattered my price ceiling but I didn't realize there was a cordless Hitachi...

http://www.amazon.com/Rechargeable-...=p_89%3AHitachi

There's also this thing: http://www.ohjoysextoy.com/doxy/ . Still needs to be plugged in, though.

edit: oh jesus gently caress. Don't read their latest comic unless you have a furry piss fetish. :barf:

Hydrolith fucked around with this message at 09:25 on Aug 18, 2015

# ¿ Aug 18, 2015 03:57

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

bobula posted:

Just checking... guys can't be tested for HPV, correct? So if a dude gets it from say, eating an infected pussy, he can then pass it around (via kissing and also more oral sex) and not even know about it. Y/N?

A quick google says you're correct, but that there is a vaccine you can get if you're worried.

http://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv-and-men.htm

# ¿ Aug 26, 2015 05:30

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

KillHour posted:

The bell curve for penises is surprisingly steep.

# ¿ Sep 3, 2015 04:57

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

The clit's the important part, and you don't even need a dick to get to it never mind a big one.

# ¿ Sep 4, 2015 02:02

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

LingcodKilla posted:

That's better than jizz on your guest beds pillow.
Reason number one i don't keep white pillow cases anymore.

Because they're off-yellow now?

# ¿ Sep 5, 2015 06:50

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 01:00

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

Any advice for getting the smell of pussy off of my face? A good scrub in the shower didn't do it.

# ¿ Dec 12, 2020 03:30

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