PYF Stupid Lifehacks: Oh, so that's how you smoke a jay.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF Stupid Lifehacks: Oh, so that's how you smoke a jay.

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zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Jesus Christ, do you have any idea where those raw vegetables have been?

What you do is take a big handful of hand sanitizer from the setup near the carts, or near the meat fridges, and use it to clean them off first.

# ¿ Oct 21, 2015 19:12

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 18:35

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

twoday posted:

My favorite variation of this is in Greece, where they have a preheated outdoor woodburning oven, put an entire lamb in, and then build a brick-and-mortar wall in front of the door to the oven and leave it like that for 24 hours.

I've never looked into it since moving but I assume its fairly popular and available wherever the civic laws allow, but getting a caterer to do a pig roast pit style was fairly popular in the more rural suburbs of NE Ohio.

I've often considered hacking my life because hot water at my apartment is prepaid and communal, and is just the right temperature for cooking steak to medium rare.

# ¿ Nov 8, 2015 01:30

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Lifehack: if its the olden times and your family doesn't have central AC yet, but does have a window unit, you end up sleeping in the same room for at least a couple weeks of the year.

Its super weird to do that frankenbed thing for any reason other than you're living in a loft or remodeling bedrooms, but there's a bunch of sleep wusses here if you can't handle communal sleeping.

# ¿ Nov 17, 2015 18:49

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

PubicMice posted:

#recipehacks

I am embarrassed to say I kind of like this, but I am deep into the cult of industrial design that encourages this sort of thing. Forget IKEA, that preschool poo poo is how you teach people to make everything from Big Macs to cell phones and cars.

# ¿ Nov 25, 2015 01:19

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Tiggum posted:

The 5 Least Effective Life Hacks People Apparently Use.

There's a lifehack in the subtext here which is "life is so much easier when you just stop caring."

# ¿ Dec 15, 2015 14:23

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Aphrodite posted:

I think there are some legitimate things it can do*, but a lot treat it as magic.

Edit: As in, I recall reading that in the past.

Chiropractic is good for getting a massage while working toward your insurance deductible but that's an extremely white middle class lifehack. And you need to watch out of the ones who start touching things above the shoulders because they are probably going to break your neck or knock an artery loose. Results not guaranteed below the shoulders either because I had a friend limp away from a chiropractic session with dislocated ribs.

# ¿ Jan 6, 2016 17:10

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

SpacePig posted:

There are also people the believe chiropractic also has healing capabilities beyond pain relief, I think. Like, if you've got a genuine sickness, getting your spine adjusted semi-regularly will somehow cure you of this. It really straddles the line of fairly helpful and potentially dangerous, and it all comes down to the what person performing it believes it can do.

Yeah but the person was mentioning legitimate things it can do, which is at best give you free (potentially violent and dangerous) massages depending on your insurance plan terms.

# ¿ Jan 6, 2016 17:22

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

A bubblegum quasar went off in my mouth and now I need to visit the chiro twice a week for jaw cancer.

# ¿ Jan 6, 2016 18:38

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

kinmik posted:

These two separate posts that effectively say the same thing are actually right though. For two weeks prior to booking a flight for our vacation, I watched the price fluctuate before bottoming out on the fifty-third day out. The numbers only went up from there. Thanks for listening.

42=54?

They are accurate enough claims but its the precision that's silly, given how averages work. A good recommendation: "you can get a decent deal on plane tickets 6-8 weeks ahead of time." Anything more specific ignores the unpredictability, and trying to get any sort of absolute bottom best deal ever is gambling on the market so just save yourself the headache and buy them the first time you remember in that 6-8 week window.

# ¿ Jan 7, 2016 15:45

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

CommonShore posted:

There's also the fact that people don't write novels about "some guy tried a dumb scheme, it didn't work, and nothing of note came of it."

Yeah, a lot of it is there's all sorts of "isn't life peculiar back then" sort of historical digests. While today, every time Aunt May gets taken for five grand by a 419 its just a footnote in a police report.

No doubt 50 years from now some guy will be chuckling about how stupid people were for falling for those clearly obvious 419 scams moments before he is ripped off for his entire life savings in a Mars homestead scam.

# ¿ Jan 8, 2016 18:59

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Non Serviam posted:

What kind of distance are we talking about here

I've seen it done for as low as 200 feet.

# ¿ Jan 9, 2016 19:49

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

The part everyone fails to mention is you need a decent acting skill to pull off the level of mundanity needed because everyone is going to be super helpful to the noticeably nervous deliveryman and you'll keep digging yourself further into a over-specification hole.

# ¿ Jan 11, 2016 00:25

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Scathach posted:

If a charger is constantly drawing electricity, your device is broken. But yeah, those are all stupid bullshit hacks.

E: make a pet bed for your kid in your RV!

PVC frame furniture is my lifehack weakspot and how I can sort of empathize with the square peg round hole mentality of lifehacks because my dad got a book 20 or 30 years ago about how to make PVC framed furniture. And suddenly there's a need for PVC furniture everywhere and why would you ever buy a folding table from Wal Mart, wait, chinese labor means they are probably cheaper anyway :smith:

# ¿ Jan 12, 2016 19:01

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Towel accessory lifehack: Tangle your cords around a towel rack. They are now less cluttered, because anything forged by the hands of man + cables is an instant cable wrangler.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SC1dqg1ZN50

# ¿ Jan 14, 2016 16:04

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Its what you use to fling spaghetti at the wall to see if its done.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2016 23:38

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Wanamingo posted:

How is this better than using an air popper?

The air popper has already been life hacked into a coffee roaster.

# ¿ Jan 28, 2016 16:04

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

A chamberpot already has two uses by default, #1 or #2. Not to mention the burgeoning field of c pot hacks.

# ¿ Feb 2, 2016 05:36

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Gorilla Salad posted:

But some ATMs actually do this.

If it's a machine which takes the whole card then there's a good chance you're not getting it back if you screw up too many times.

There's only so many circumstances where someone has your card and you don't know it so you haven't reported it stolen yet. Hence the life has to be fiction for it to make sense part, because in what world is that going to save you any grief?

# ¿ Feb 9, 2016 15:43

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Powered Descent posted:

(amid falling debris, abandons the doorway in a load-bearing wall to dive under a card table)

That's actually the USGS guidance. Modern structures have load bearing beams or pillars and your most likely doorway in a load bearing wall is going to be the one going outside. Getting under furniture is recommended because even if it crumples you will hopefully be in an air pocket with the majority of your limbs intact.

# ¿ Feb 15, 2016 18:44

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Don't pee shame. If you got the wipes, might as well take a jar with you.

Wikihow peeshamed and now the best place to learn how to pee has become the Something Awful Forums Archives

# ¿ Feb 19, 2016 23:38

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

More acceptable than crocs.

# ¿ Mar 22, 2016 12:35

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Improbable Lobster posted:

Lifehack: ~~Don't~~ buy locks from the dollar store so you can force them open when you lose the key

It must have been this thread where I told the story about the kid in middle school who could open Master Locks with a shoe. Best not to pretend any padlock is doing anything protective if it is out of sight and out of earshot.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2016 23:42

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

It seems like the real life hack would be to buy only the dollar store padlocks to prevent crimes of opportunity, or else invent your own novel security schemes because any commercial product you buy has a YouTube video showing how to break it in 2 minutes with a less than dadly collection of power tools.

# ¿ Apr 12, 2016 12:55

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Meowjesty posted:

Why are all of you children getting drunk on field trips?????

Busket Posket posted:

ITT we argue vodka with a Slav.

# ¿ Apr 13, 2016 17:19

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

I don't know what state of the art is but I think its mixing up several inkjet print hacks. If your printer was printing just fine a page ago and your print management software pops up saying hey I'm empty, its based on a counter in the cartridge circuits that isn't perfect. There's been various ways to reset them including shorting across contacts or outright reset buttons, but I don't know if any of that is current.

If your prints look like that first picture, you might be truly running out, but the print head might also just be getting gummed up if you're anything like me and print stuff once a year. Sometimes you can fix it with rubbing alcohol and a qtip and a good scrub. Sometimes its gummed up further in the cartridge.

Inkjet cartridges are awful.

# ¿ Apr 19, 2016 15:01

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Seems like a neat gimmick project to do once and never again for a kid just graduating to stove privileges.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2016 21:41

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Lifehack: wear blue jeans around leaky H2SO4 pump seals long enough and they will eventually turn into tear away pants for your stripping gig on the side.

# ¿ May 2, 2016 01:23

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Related video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDuTpzV-nho

Aghhhh just buy moccs.

# ¿ May 27, 2016 20:59

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

A FUCKIN CANARY!! posted:

I see a lot of people who just tie their laces in a granny knot, tuck the leftover lace inside the shoe, then never untie them again, so that video might actually be helpful and mindblowing to some. It seems like tying shoes is something that just isn't taught to kids anymore.

I am throwing stones in a glass house making fun of shoe hacks because I learned I was tying granny knots from a things I can't believe I just figured out thread somewhere on these forums. But its like everyone ties granny knots, and you always hear some jokester asking why adults can't have velcro shoes. But the shoe hacks are lace your shoes backwards and poo poo because I guess you can't youtube buying moccs.

# ¿ May 28, 2016 16:55

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Edminster posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgjfJbCVL4Q

Worth it to have a video of someone coyly pushing around a floppy dong-like light saber.

# ¿ May 30, 2016 15:37

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Crow Jane posted:

They also gave me a box of beignet mix, so I have no beef whatsoever with them. And yeah, the cats were very nice.

They bought you coffee cut with a garbage weed and a box of flour. Some gifts.

I kid, chicory coffee is pretty awesome for being originally for a poor-as-dirt situation. But beignet mix is the most expensive box of flour and baking soda someone could ever buy though.

# ¿ Jun 3, 2016 22:14

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

LogisticEarth posted:

If you're paying the rates that places with electrical hookup and water spigots at every site charge, and carrying around a heavy rear end, cheapo air mattress with a built in pump, "camp kitchen", and other poo poo, I'm not going to be a total snob and say you can't call it camping. However, if you're doing it for the "experience", you're a fool and should just spend all that money on a cheap hotel.

Car camping is different than backcountry camping, and that's fine. But there's a smart way to do car camping, and a "lol I'm from the suburbs and bought all this cool poo poo at Wal-Mart" way to do car camping. If you want to have inflatable pads to sleep on (which is perfectly fine, I use them when car camping), then get something like this:

https://www.rei.com/product/870757/rei-camp-bed-35-self-inflating-sleeping-pad

They self-inflate, with no electricity needed, pack down decently enough and are easy to move around, and you don't annoy your fellow campers with your loud-rear end air pump. Yes they are pricey, but they last way longer than air mattresses you get for $40.

That's the exact style of bedroll the lifehack infographic was advocating you replace with an air mattress.

# ¿ Jun 4, 2016 14:41

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Alhazred posted:

Still better than this one:

It's scrambled eggs in a carton, for folks too lazy to crack an egg.

Too much effort.

Now you're hacking at 105%!

# ¿ Jun 5, 2016 20:03

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Control Volume posted:

Shine your houseplant leaves, because that is a perfectly normal thing to want to do to your houseplants.

# ¿ Jun 6, 2016 22:59

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Lifehack: you can't be arrested for setting booby traps in your house if your booby traps kill you first.

# ¿ Jun 16, 2016 21:45

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Drinking extra is a decent first step because the amount of people who are miserably dehydrated as a baseline is high enough that there's a good chance it will work.

# ¿ Jun 27, 2016 15:29

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Eagerly awaiting the lifehack on how to make homemade pizza squares so I can relive all my dreams about school lunches.

# ¿ Jun 30, 2016 13:22

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

If you're going to kill yourself do it with a grocery bag and a rental helium cylinder. The lifehack is that you don't need to worry about the deposit on the cylinder so you can buy some nice baloons for whoever finds the body!

Your lungs are basically tuned around CO2, not oxygen. So excess CO2 causes burning, and then panic and hyperventilation. Inerts like helium cause textbook cases of anoxia which is generally described as pleasantly drunk by people coming back form the edge. CO usually isn't recommended by end of life advocates because of its deliriant qualities and incidental side effects.

# ¿ Jul 18, 2016 22:33

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

That's like trying to call a pet rock an animal hack. Hippies have been making dumb glasses with a glass scorer for time immemorial.

# ¿ Jul 21, 2016 13:24

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 18:35

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

The real life hack is if you go to enough thrift shops, flea markets, or estate sales you can probably get a Ronco one for $5.

# ¿ Jul 21, 2016 23:11

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF Stupid Lifehacks: Oh, so that's how you smoke a jay.

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