Gutter Owl posted:

Really, your best bet is to sit down with the tutorial book and play through it step by step. The MK rules are kinda annoying as a reference document, but Vlaada and his crew know how to make a solid tutorial.

Otherwise, it's like your first time taking it up the butt. Go slowly. Get yourself comfortable and try to relax--you're not going anywhere for a while, and being tense is just going to make things harder. Take it in a tiny bit at a time. Even if you feel like you're getting a handle on things, don't jump ahead, or you're just going to hurt yourself and sour the whole experience. Pause every so often to acclimate before trying to cover more. It's best to experiment by yourself before involving a second person, and get used to two-player before involving three or more people. And remember, a tiny bit of pain is part of what makes the experience enjoyable. It can all seem daunting at first, impossible even, but once you've gotten a little experience under your belt you'll be surprised how easily everything slides into place.

Also, take a poop and a shower beforehand. That's not a metaphor for anything, it's just generally good advice.

Sham bam bamina! posted:

Wait, you were fine with the original colon-making GBS threads story, but a metaphorical reference to one detail is what turns your stomach?

Neddy Seagoon posted:

Holy crap, not just banned but permabanned .

Aphrodite posted:

Mrs. Lowtax implied there was some other stuff going on besides just those probations.

RPATDO_LAMD posted:

Transition lenses?

What do they even argue about with those?

El Spider posted:

Make me the GBS moderator

Spanish Manlove posted:

Please don't do it.

beedeebee posted:

What happens in the remaining 0.45% of cases?

Anatharon posted:

he himself said it was more sad than funny!!!

Son of Thunderbeast posted:

I mean, to be fair, we don't have any evidence that other pilots don't call F-35 pilots "fags"

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

Paladinus posted:

Vader means father in Dutch.

Sham bam bamina! posted:

Doesn't work as well when the movie wasn't released on VHS.

gary oldmans diary posted:

quote:

Year 3099, Cis-Herstorical Time
Be Anar-Queer Trans-species+gender Cat-Boy Trans-Abled Socialist-Furry
Preferred pronouns: They, Them (I'm old-fashioned, just like Dad and Dad and Dad)
Preferred tense, future perfect
Basically your average college student
Teacher is taking attendance on first day of Orientation
Can barely hear teacher over riotous noise of screaming protesters outside, like usual
Today Asian-Americans and LGTBQAA groups are clashing over who is more oppressed, because "orientation" sounds like "Oriental" but also like "Sexual Orientation"
Teacher reads my name loudly, then pauses to check my preferred pronouns and tense
"Will they have been present here?"
I raise my hand
"Yes, professor, we will have been present"
The teacher smiles and sighs in relief at not having triggered anyone during attendance
Teacher makes eye contact with me as she smiles, baring her teeth in an inadvertant intimidation display
My furry instincts kick in, and my phantom tail curls under my groin to shield my phantom testicles
I am so triggered I nearly stand, my ableness-orientation kicks in and I remember that I identify as requiring a wheelchair today
I wheel into the center aisle and keep my eyes locked on the professor as I let out a gutteral growl
GRRRRRRR
and bare my teeth back at her
The professor glances down at her notes and realizes that she has forgotten I am actually a wolf trapped in a crippled man's body trapped in an able-bodied woman's body
The professor closes her lips to hide her teeth and lies down on the ground, exposing her abdomen in an act of submission
I return to my desk, having established my dominance

burexas.irom posted:

I just read a thread with my hand on my dick. And not in the good way.

Kaiju15 posted:

I'm getting the Back to the Future reference here, but not the rest of it.

Kit Walker posted:

Alcohol is pretty terrible in terms of killing people and ruining lives but it's an excellent social lubricant

massive spider posted:

I'm requesting the post about superman beating bizzaro to death while crying if anyone has it.

Snapchat A Titty posted:

Those orange things are introduced in issue 489 of Amazing Supperman but they weren't explained until issue 213 of Flex Luthor (tbh I like that line more than supperman). Apparently they're like some kinda.. thing? and they're there?

Comrade Gorbash posted:

Take up the White Meeple's burden, Send forth the best ye breed
Go place markers on cities, to serve your captives' need;
To wait in heavy harness, On fluttered folk and wild—
Your new-caught, sullen players, Half-devil and half-child.

Take up the White Meeple's burden, In patience to abide,
To veil the threat of boredom And check the show of pride;
By open speech and simple, An hundred times made plain
To seek another's profit, And work another's gain.

Take up the White Meeples burden, the Spiel des Jahres winner—
Fill their hands with Cards And give dice to the beginner;
And when your goal is nearest The end for others sought,
Watch sloth and randomized Mechanics Bring all your hopes to nought.

Take up the White Meeple's burden, No tawdry rule of lames,
But toil of Brass and Agricola, The tale of Catan games.
The stores ye shall not enter, The games they call to hard,
Go mark them with your tokens, And mark them with your card.

Take up the White Meeple's burden And his old reward reap:
The blame of those ye better, The hate of those ye teach—
The cry of hosts ye humour (Ah, slowly!) toward the light:—
"Why brought he us from bondage, Our loved Monopoly night?"

Take up the White Meeple's burden, Ye dare not stoop to less—
Nor call too loud on To cloak your weariness;
By all ye cry or whisper, By all ye leave or do,
The silent, sullen peoples Shall weigh your games and you.

Take up the White Meeple's burden, Have done with childish days—
The lightly profferred laurel, The easy, ungrudged praise.
Comes now, to search your manhood, through all the thankless years
Cold, edged with dear-bought wisdom, The judgment of your peers!

Travis343 posted:

This isnt the awkward thread

purple death ray posted:

so humans can reproduce asexually!

DOWN JACKET FETISH posted:

i'm hooting and honking and slapping my forearms together because i saw a small image of a house i recognise

ChickenOfTomorrow posted:

Somfin posted:

Creeps are notoriously quick to vocally and aggressively police others' creepiness.

Guy Mann posted:

Thank you for lending us your expertise on being a creepmod.

yeah I eat rear end posted:

I think the more important question is why Tiggum thinks a spatula is called an "egg flipper".

value-brand cereal posted:

FactsAreUseless posted:

That's what you get... when you mess with the Big Dog!

VanSandman posted:

missing the joke here

FactsAreUseless posted:

I hope she gets brave enough to show off her entire vagina, and all the parts of the vagina. I want to see if she has a normal type of vagina, or an alien type of vagina, and what the parts look like.

sweeperbravo posted:

why "holla" when you can "allah"

BJPaskoff posted:

Just imagine I posted all of those zoom-y eyed reaction type emoticons here because I don't know them all. This is fantastic.