yeah I eat rear end posted:

Say what you will about that storyline, but it doesn't come close to the hell that season 6-8 (arguably 9 too) were.

RenegadeStyle1 posted:

I have alot of questions about this story. He is from a small conservative christian town but English isn't his first language? I got the vibe that he was trying to allude to middle america so I guess it could be another country. He's black and the city is run by the KKK but his Uncle who impregnated his mom who I also assume is black and is in a high position of power within the town?

Jerry Cotton posted:

OK let's just assume for a moment that's genuine; what on earth would she be grounded for - giving feedback when asked to?

e: Because I'm thinking that dude should not have children in his care if that's the case.

YA BOY ETHAN COUCH posted:

You're allowed to return dead fish to the fish store??

grittyreboot posted:

Why are people so angry about pineapple pizza? People keep posting quotes from celebrity chefs as if that proves some point. Like Gordon Ramsey's opinion makes any difference to how I like my pizza.

chitoryu12 posted:

In 20 years, I'm going to be explaining to a teenager why the Babadook was a gay icon in the year Donald Trump was president.

yeah I eat rear end posted:

I'm hoping you guys are just messing with me because even if I twist my mind to the farthest comprehensible level I can't imagine how the babadook can possibly be a gay icon.

Olive Garden tonight! posted:

Why, was the pastor also deaf

Comptroll The Forums posted:

Is that even a thing? Cashiers keeping a book of all 50 state IDs so they can check out-of-staters?

And just LOL at bragging about your high school GPA to prove you're too smart to get a fake ID that only lets you buy tobacco.

YA BOY ETHAN COUCH posted:

Besesoth posted:

Cracked has a whole article full of user-submitted STDH today.

Kantesu posted:

He's saying he tossed the dog poo back over the fence. Possibly into neighbor's pool.

Jay Rust posted:

I've never taken strolls through the wilds with any of my college classes, although to be fair I studied literature

WampaLord posted:

Ain't no large fry on the dollar menu.

Joey Freshwater posted:

I like the part where they imply that full grown adults have thought they had totally real scales guys and not tattoos

Verisimilidude posted:

BioEnchanted posted:

A big mac, because while I have a lot of ingredients they're all poorly-prepared and tasteless.

Jurgan posted:

Yeah, there's some real dramatic irony in that story. "I spent an hour doing menial labor for some assholes. That'll show 'em!"

life is killing me posted:

Because the cop was a good guy and 2 bucks wasn't that big a deal?

sebmojo posted:

uvar posted:

I don't smoke, or live in America - how does the value of a single cigarette compare to McDonalds fries?

Comptroll The Forums posted:

Thank Christ somebody is brave enough to start a fire fight at Walmart, the murder capital of the world.

life is killing me posted:

Daycare doesn't pay anyone's mortgage, it drains the parents' finances and puts pennies in the pockets of the people actually watching the children

I guess the owner of the daycare, what with being able to charge a gently caress ton of money to watch other people's kids, might see the most benefit

walrusman posted:

That is complete nonsense. He doesn't wear contacts - he was wearing glasses when he kissed her.

Verisimilidude posted:

Besesoth posted:

I really don't want to know how "TIFU by letting my daughter hold my grocery list" involves jizz.

quote:

My daughter has been reading for a good long while. She's a bright and articulate kid, and reading came naturally to her at a very early age. I'd like to take credit for that poo poo, but I can't.

It was time for our weekly grocery trip and she was pretty excited that it was going to be just us girls. Her enthusiasm was adorable.

"Mommy, can I hold the list?" she asked.

"Of course, lovebug, I'd like that. You just read what we need, and I'll grab it and put in the basket," I replied, beaming down at my little helper.

Typically the first section we hit in the grocery store is the produce section. So there we were, picking up berries and cilantro and whatever the gently caress else when she reminds me we need a cantaloupe. Instead of turning the cart around and trekking back toward the front of the produce section, I wheeled my cart to an out of the way spot and told my daughter to stay put while I grabbed a melon.

Now, I'm sure cantaloupe doesn't confuse everyone. But for a moment I was struck completely dumb, holding a melon aloft in my hand, thoughtfully eyeballing it, and trying not to look like a crazy person. Do I smell it? Thump it? Press the navel? Hold a pair up in front of my shirt and giggle? (I'm a mom - not a saint - that poo poo is funny.) I was confused about the intricacies of proper melon picking technique.

I must have been taking too long contemplating cantaloupes. My daughter must have gotten a little bored and decided to work ahead on the list. From across the produce section I hear my daughter's angelic voice call out over so many ears of corn and in front the eyes of so many potatoes, "Mommy?! Did you get the coffee jizz?"

I put the melon down. I made a noise in my throat that is pretty much universal for, “oh Jesus, did my baby just say that?” I blushed furiously and watched as heads turned our way. I considered for one brief moment fleeing through the glass sliding doors and pretending I didn't know her. In what felt like slow motion, I went to her, half giggling - half total mortification, and told her that while it was MY mistake to write the word, she really shouldn't say it again.

Yeah, see guys, sometimes you name things like Coffee-Mate after terrible things. If you do, I recommend one of three things:
Don't let your adorable child hold your list. Learn how to inspect and choose a loving melon before the kid gets bored and actually reads said list. Don’t be a dirty old woman.

Bertrand Hustle posted:

Most fat hate is deeply, frighteningly misogynistic. Dudes like that see women as sex objects, so a woman who is fat or unattractive is basically subhuman to them.

What I don't get is the guys who are personally affronted by the existence of fat people, like did a fat kid steal your lunch or something?

Desk Lamp posted:

Spent his Thanksgiving "blogging", what a loving hero.

youknowthatoneguy posted:

I think I have also seen this story be used as an allegory for abstinence, but not with those pictures, which would be hilarious.

Pastry of the Year posted:

step up your drinkin' game

eating only apples posted:

omg no wait this one is even better


anonymous hacker