Macasaurus posted:

original is gone and i'm not copypasting the whole thing https://www.reddit.com/r/weeabootales/comments/51awcz/seen_on_rrelationships_my_19_m_friend_from_uni_22/

Libelous Slander posted:

at this point in the movie, the protagonist's friend suggests they do an old fashioned stake out of this other guy's house

Bonzo posted:

How's this?

The Laughing Man posted:

When relationships get too ironic to be considered relationships and are just more parasitic, abusive winner takes all webs of deceit. The most important thing to do is to feel good about your GBS copywriter status and get paid to post on Reddit. Because this takes away all the other destructive poo poo you may have accomplished over the span of that relationship (sometimes decades) and it soothes the emotional anger of those you abused by giving them the opportunity at catharsis and justice by reading your troubled words.

I'm glad we have Reddit and E/N as a resource that placates the offensive pressure of direct communication and closure. I feel like it has evolved robocops that can't look people directly in the eyes into a more palatable and easy to digest readers format and this is only a positive thing when dealing with delicate measures of the heart.

Reddit has taught me to respect all the little princes and princesses just exactly for who they are

The Laughing Man posted:

I wonder what your opinions on child brides are.

The Laughing Man posted:

So you are pro-childhood sex slavery based off Reddit syndrome then? I see. Disgusting tho.

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Gluten Freeman posted:

My wife [31f] won't give me [32m] head massages.

quote:

The parents [30sF&M] of the children I [19F] nanny for are cheating on each other and asking me to stay quiet about it and not tell the other spouse about it. They are offering me lots of money.

reddit in response to some girl admitting she changed her okcupid answers to get a higher match % with some boy back in high school posted:

I've done something like this. Basically I am a man of voracious sexual appetite combined with the fatal character flaw of falling in love with every woman who pays me the least bit attention, so one day at work a random girl came in and made delightful small talk with me in a way that really excited my roosevelt and naturally I decided that i would try to get her to love me, but once she left I realized i'd probably be better off watching from afar before i try to make any move.

Of course i kept a copy of her receipt. I usually did that anyway with hot girls so I could look them up on facebook and masturbate to their photos- it's a university town so it's easy to narrow down students and if I have their full name it's cake. the best was when girls were buying underwear. or the ones who were clearly uncomfortable going to a male cashier with their lingerie and were awkward and all that with me but i just put on a smile and pretend it's fine and thanks to my photographic memory i could go home and masturbate relishing in the thought that i knew exactly what they would be wearing.

Anyway back to the story at hand. My Aphrodite was obviously a student at the university so i found her on facebook and quickly realized that her profile was wide open, meaning i could see all of her statuses and photos- every update. it's not stalking because it's public information anyway and whatnot. so i had her receipt, i found her on facebook, and it began quite innocently, like i was just masturbating to her swimsuit photos three or four times a day but then i realized that i TA in the building right next to where her major classes were. so i began to pay attention to her status updates, hoping to catch when she'd be in the building. not for any nefarious purpose, I just wanted to see if i could maybe track her down like a wild sow or something and pretend like i was nigel thornberry.

Well, as i said before i am a man of diverse sexual tastes and after the first few times i saw her wandering across the causeways between our buildings and my subsequent masturbating in janitorial closets i decided to step it up a notch. by that point i already had memorized her class schedule, at least in the building next to mine, so i knew where she was at most given moments. THIS is where i thought to maybe do something like OP here did, like pretend like i'm in her classes and that we're compatible and whatnot, but then i realized i'm not the best looking guy and she might remember me from the store and i should probably just stick to my normal technique of hiding in the women's restroom and masturbating to the sounds they made on the toilet- something I've done since early teenagehood and something I've mastered.
So I posted up like a military sentinel on a bench in her ac building where i knew she had class. the first few classes were futile- would my darling ever piss? was she a camel? alas, it took a few tries but on the third or fourth day of waiting i caught her slip out of class towards the women's restroom. i buried my head in an book and let her pass. then as soon as she went into the bathroom i hobbled over at full mast, glanced around like a perverted priest in an orphanage, and slipped furtively into the bathroom.

I perched on a toilet like a crow to hide my hairy ankles and crocs so no lady would see me in their domain. Almost immediately, the concerto of her bowel movement graced my ears. Toccata and Fugue in poo poo Minor- an artful evacuation of the rectum. Sensual yet gripping: it sounded like she was making fart noises with her mouth, but I could detect the verisimilitude. It was sublime. I conducted my typical stealthy masturbatory symphony, relishing in the stench reeking into my stall from hers. It was 8 or 9 minutes that felt like an eternity and I still can't hide in womens' restrooms without wistfully remembering that great day.

And as quickly as it began it was over, and she flushed, and washed, and was gone. I try not to get hung up on women too badly so I told myself she'd be out of my life forever. Barely holding back tears, I took one nostalgic glance into her stall, just to solidify the memory forever, when I realized that upon the toilet seat was a spiky black pubic hair.

Naturally I snatched the pube like Smeagol and his precious, and to this day it occupies a special spot in my wallet, going around with me everywhere i go as a romantic reminder of what true love feels like- that love is everywhere, all around us, and inside all of us, and sometimes all that it takes to realize said love is an ungodly bowel movement and a lonely forgotten pubic hair.

Gaunab posted:

WampaLord posted:

Who lets their 12 year old masturbate in the same room as them?

I didn't need to be told at 12 years old to not jerk off in front of my parents.

LethalGeek posted:

Stop this poo poo right now before you get the thread closed again you idiots. Just no. Let's move on please, I like this thread a lot and don't need to go down that path

LethalGeek posted:

Pick and loq are good, the teen thing needs to

CodfishCartographer posted:

I (33m) overheard my girlfriend (28f) making fun of me pretty brutally to her best friend (27m). When I say brutally... I mean brutally.

Pelvic Floor Wax posted:

Lockback posted:

"Maybe if we get a puppy together everything will be better"

"Ok, that didn't work, but now I can't break up with him because of the puppy. Maybe have a baby?"

Lockback posted:

The dark side of tinder.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

I liked this one.
She said something like, "Huskies are completely unappealing to me in almost every way. They don't have the type of drive I need for what we do. Unless you plan on not moving in and raising this dog entirely yourself, I am not okay with this."

C-SPAN Caller posted:

Yeah and considering he knows her numbers it's not like he can't get her tracked down for this.

C-SPAN Caller posted:

Wouldn't be shocked to be honest if after stealing the puppy it died on her and now she's avoiding him thinking the problem will go away and he didn't react quick enough.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Jeffnote: I am a chosen person and thus allowed to laugh at this. It sounds totally serious and the poster even acknowledged it sounded like a joke.

I [27F] want to get Jewish genetic testing with my husband [29M] before we get pregnant. All he seems to care about is how much it costs.

Dial-a-Dog posted:

That was my guess too, circus/specifically cirque du soleil since they said it was like "the biggest company in the field"

La Brea Carpet posted:

Sometimes r/personalfinance has a gem.

Gaunab posted:

Finally, she nicknamed me "Safety R" R being short for Ryan (not my real name). When I asked why she gave me that nickname, she literally said it was because I am a very safe person.

gentle pete posted:

Gaunab posted:

Some people like attention.

quote:

Dating for almost three years now, it's been an amazing relationship to be honest, he's a great person and I really enjoy spending time with him and he generally makes my life a lot happier.

However, it's just one of those periods where I'm extremely annoyed at him and I don't know how to even react right now.

My boyfriend got ran over by a car recently. It happened because he went to his home city (we live a few hours away) and went back to his "old neighborhood" where he proceeded to meet up with some of his friends from "back in the day". As he was texting me throughout the day I could already tell he was drinking/smokign weed etc. I asked him several times, he said he wasn't, said he might in the evening. I told him I don't want to talk to him if he's going to drink, he told me "Idk, we'll see I'm not really sure I will" but of course - that was a lie. He started drinking at 11 in the morning because that's when he met up with his friends.

Anyway, usually we chat throughout the day on messenger, but that day he spent forever to respond to me. I understand - he's with his friends, he's talking to them, having fun etc. so I don't blame him for taking his time to respond, I'm just pointing this out.

After around 6 o'clock he stopped responding to my messages completely. I messaged him three times in a row and thought that he was either drinking, he was already passed out drunk, or he left his phone somewhere etc. Anyway, I went to sleep pretty early because I had work in the morning. Instead I get woken up at 5 a.m. by a phone call from a mutual friend (one of his friend's girlfriends) who proceeds to inform me that her boyfriend, my boyfriend and another guy are all in the hospital. She later calls me back and tells me that he's been run over by a car, but doesn't know the details.

Since then I've been able to piece the story together more or less by talking to a bunch of different people. What happened was the ran into somebody they had a serious issue with when they were younger and confronted that person about something. Said person told them to gently caress off, they all proceeded to get into a fight with that guy and his friends and later they all dispersed. My boyfriend and two other guys were later walking to a club (Already, I'm ticked off.) and saw that other guy's car parked outside of a store. They wanted for that guy to walk out and as he got in his car, my boyfriend ran up to him again and punched him in the face through his car's window. The guy put his car in reverse, slammed one of my bf's friends and knocked him down to the ground, before going forward again and running my boyfriend over at almost full speed. Thankfully he managed to cover his head/jump up and he survived. Guy drove off, but later he got into a car accident (as he was drunk as gently caress apparently) and killed himself.

My boyfriend has a broken ankle, broken (not sure about this) arm, a mild concussion, cracked his head and his ribs. He's been in a hospital for almost a week now (this might sound strange to Americans, not trying to be rude, but this is common where I'm from).

I haven't been picking up his phone calls/answering his messages (aside from the one where we talked about what happened and he kept it pretty vague, so I had to talk to other people) and I haven't visited him. His parents are apparently upset at me, our mutual friends are upset at me saying I'm being "childish" and he keeps messaging me from time to time saying he wants to see me and he's sorry. But I'm really pissed off and I don't know what to do.

Get drunk
Do something extremely stupid multiple times
Apparently go to a club, going to "pick up some girls" no doubt.
Almost loving die
I'm heated. Idk how to handle myself, what to say, or what to do in this situation. Can you guys give me some guidance/advice?

tl;dr: Boyfriend got drunk, got into a fight which resulted in him and his two buddies almost getting killed by a guy who tried to run them over. I don't know what to do/say. I'm very upset, everyone says I'm being childish/unreasonable.

quote:

My boyfriend and I will have our 1 year anniversary in May. We met at work and still work together now. The only problem we've had at work is with our coworker.

I was friends with said coworker before I knew my boyfriend and he apparently developed a crush on me. At first, I honestly didn't even know he liked me. I'm friendly to everyone I meet, and at first, he didn't treat me any different than as a friend.

However , once he found out I went on a date with my now boyfriend, he made his crush painfully obvious. He revealed his feelings for me by telling me he really liked me, and that I was the first girl he ever really wanted to be with. I told him that I didn't share the same feelings, but that we could just stay friends. This is when the real problems start.

He would come in to work and cry over me and my boyfriend being together. He would say my boyfriend stole me from him. So once again I told him we could never be more than friends.

He escalated, saying he just wanted to kiss me, or give me a hickey. I always flat out said no, and that that would not be appropriate. He would come to my work area and try to sing to me.

Then things got serious. He started telling our other coworkers he was going to hit my boyfriend with a hammer, and that since my boyfriend is bigger than him, he'll just have to run him over with his car. This is when management got involved. They wrote him up and talked to him about workplace violence. (I think the reason he hasn't been fired is because he has autism and has a hard time understanding what is appropriate at work and what is not. He often takes everything as a joke and sometimes I honestly don't think he realizes how serious some of the things are that he says/does). He even tried to get my boyfriend fired by saying my boyfriend intentionally hit him, even though we had witnesses that said that the time he was referring to was when my boyfriend had accidentally bumped into him, and that the incident had happened months ago.

Since about 4 or 5 months ago things had calmed down for a while. The managers told my coworker to only say hi and bye to me at work, and he had been respecting that for the most part.

However, issues have started up again in the past couple of weeks. He's taken to hiding around corners at work and jumping out and scaring me. He at one point put his arm around my throat and whispered, "I'm the guy that's gonna get you." When I told him to get off, he said it was just a quote from a movie. (For the record, he does quote movies all the time, but I thought this was out of line).

The final straw though was tonight, when my manager pulled me aside at the end of work and said the security guards at my job had kicked my coworker off the premises because he was lingering after work waiting for me. Then when my boyfriend walked me to my car that night, I could tell my coworker had been in my car. I had my back window down while I was at work, and when I went to get in, everything that I had had in the backseat was placed in the driver's seat. My boyfriend hadn't moved it, and neither had I, so I can only think of one person who could have done it.

I really don't know what to do at this point. I've told him to leave me alone, but he doesn't seem to get it. I don't want him to get fired, but if I report him again I think he will. My manager said a while back that if he gets one more strike then he's gone.

I know this all sounds crazy but trust me when I say that if he didn't have a handicap (mental illness? Sorry not sure what the right word is) I would have tried to get him fired a long time ago.

So what should I do? And would he get more aggressive if he believed I was the reason he lost his job?

Tldr: obsessive coworker with autism has boundary issues, me and boyfriend don't like it. How far is too far?

Edit: sorry I forgot to mention in the original post that about a year ago he gave me a ride home when my car broke down. So I'm not sure if he would remember where I live or not...

Update: First of all I want to say thanks for all of the comments I got. They were all insightful and helped me to realize the severity of the issue.

I talked to my manager today and told him that my coworker had been in my car last night. He told me HR had been contacted about the issue, but he recommended I file a police report. Now tomorrow my coworker has to talk to the head of security at ny job and may be terminated. Hopefully if he doesn't get fired he'll at least realize how serious this is.

quote:

Okay so a little back story,

I'm 19, a chill, confident individual, ready to take on anything thrown at me. But I have been in this predicament for quite some time now. Me and my girl , let's call her R. , have been going out for almost 9 months now, and we have had a bumpy
relationship the whole way. Now flash back to when I had just started dating her. It was the beginning of the semester (college/freshman) and I was chilling with some homies at one of the dorm hang outs. I don't even go to this school but my best friend does and we just finished smoking some herb. Anyways I walk in cool calm and collected and approached the area where the rest of my friends and some random people (who later became my friends) were chilling on couches and what not, I introduced myself to everyone as per usual but one girl in particular stood out. This girl, let's call her A. , was sitting to my direct left and I swear to God we looked into each other's eyes and our souls just came out , iv done shrooms, acid, dmt, and smoked hella bud. But iv never felt that way before in my life. I felt like we mind hosed each other's brains till we both came. It was the most intense meeting of anyone iv ever had. Btw she isn't even really my type but I find myself very attracted to her and her personality. The other thing is we cross each other's paths a lot, without trying. After our first meeting I ran into her at a costume store (for Halloween ) and we of course locked eyes and flipped poo poo cuz I live in a large city (San Antonio, Tx) . We both kinda laughed and said that's trippy. Then she kinda started hanging around my friends a lot so we would see each other at least once a week or every other week when school was going on. But when I first meet her all of my friends liked her and tried hitting on her but she had a boyfriend who went to school in another city from high school. After they split me and my girl were going strong so I just stayed with her. But anyway fast forward a while and me and my girl split for like the 3rd time and I told her "I'd never love you again" kinda poo poo when she left my car but of course things happen, but while we were broken up A. came over one Saturday night at around 11:30pm... Like I'm not sure if she wanted to gently caress or get to know me or what but we started snap chatting that night for a few hours and decided we should chill. Well guess who texts me that night, not 5 mins after A. shows up and proceeds to watch Netflix with me on my couch, that's right R. , saying that she had to talk to me ASAP and was headed over, so obviously I told A. to bounce and we'd try again some other time. Well my girl heard that A. was talking poo poo about her (women) and that got hella mad and started talking poo poo back so there's some bad blood there, but what's even trippier is that a week or two ago I went tubing on the river, with both of them and some friends. I actually got to kinda compare them side to side. My current girl is much more attractive hands down. But I am just drawn to the curiosity and the actual chemistry that me and A. had. They were chill but I could totally get the vibe that both wanted to be with me. Actually A. was trying to talk to me more towards the end then R. I know this post is getting long and it's teenage drama essentially but I have been struggling in deciding on what to do. R. I feel needs me, she's going through some things right now and she has been the best girlfriend iv ever had, we have great sex, we are pretty tight , and she's my best friend. But A. .... There is just something about her and the way we meet that makes me believe there is something very deep there, or could be. Maybe I'm wrong but the other day when I was at my recruiting office (I'm enlisting in the marines, as soon as I quit smoking lol) and she was there! At her army recruiter (she's in ROTC) just completely out of random. I couldn't believe my eyes, we both couldn't lol. But we gave each other hugs and talked and what not. I honestly feel like life just throws us at each other to try and see what happens. life is so crazy. I'm about to go to sleep but will check to see if anyone has commented or shared any thoughts.

TL:DR Two chicks, one dick.

TL:DR

TL:DR 2 girls, one herb. Anyways I walk in cool calm and collected and approached the area where the rest of my friends and some random people (who later became my friends) were chilling on couches and what not, I introduced myself to everyone as per usual but one girl in particular stood out. This girl, let's call her A. , was sitting to my direct left and I swear to God we looked into each other's eyes and our souls just came out , iv done shrooms, acid, dmt, and smoked hella bud. But iv never felt that way before in my life. I felt like we mind hosed each other's brains till we both came. It was the most intense meeting of anyone iv ever had. Btw she isn't even really my type but I find myself very attracted to her and her personality. The other thing is I run into a lot, without trying. After our first meeting I ran into her at a costume store (for Halloween ) and we of course locked eyes and flipped poo poo cuz I live in a large city (San Antonio, Tx) . We both kinda laughed and said that's trippy. Then she kinda started hanging around my friends a lot so we would see each other at least once a week or every other week when school was going on. But when I first meet her all of my friends liked her and tried hitting on her but she had a boyfriend who went to school in another city from high school. After they split me and my girl were going strong so I just stayed with her. But anyway fast forward a while and me and my girl split for like the 3rd time and I told her "I'd never love you again" kinda poo poo when she left my car but of course things happen, but while we were broken up A. came over one Saturday night at around 11:30pm... Like I'm not sure if she wanted to gently caress or get to know me or what but we started snap chatting that night for a few hours and decided we should chill. Well guess who texts me that night, not 5 mins after A. shows up and proceeds to watch Netflix with me on my couch, that's right R. , saying that she had to talk to me ASAP and was headed over, so obviously I told A. to bounce and we'd try again some other time. Well my girl heard that A. was talking poo poo about her (women) and that got hella mad and started talking poo poo back so there's some bad blood there, but what's even trippier is that a week or two ago I went tubing on the river, with both of them and some friends. I actually got to kinda compare them side to side.iM not sure which one would be better but the one I'm with now I know won't last forever. It seems like a no brainier I guess but hey were chill but I could totally get the vibe that both wanted to be with me. Actually A. was trying to talk to me more towards the end then R. I know this post is getting long and it's teenage drama essentially but I have been struggling in deciding on what to do. R. I feel needs me, she's going through some things right now and she has been the best girlfriend iv ever had, we have great sex, we are pretty tight , and she's my best friend. But A. .... There is just something about her and the way we meet that makes me believe there is something very deep there, or could be. Maybe I'm wrong but the other day when I was at my recruiting office (I'm enlisting in the marines, as soon as I quit smoking lol) and she was there! At her army recruiter (she's in ROTC) just completely out of random. I couldn't believe my eyes, we both couldn't lol. But we gave each other hugs and talked and what not.life is so crazy.

TL:DR

relationship.

reddit posted:

Are you high right now?

DOMDOM posted:

Jeffrey asked us nicely not to, but I agree. Didn't the last thread get shut down because people were touching the poop though?

quote:

This story is nothing short of tragic, and I cant seem to get over it. Its only been a couple days, but I feel like I am going to live with this regret for the rest of my life.

I met this girl when I was in grade 11 and was a complete nerd, she was a bombshell and a popular girl from another school. Our relationship was one of the closest relationships I have ever had, and she was the only thing in life that didn't make me feel empty and gave me a reason to do things. She truly liked me for who I was.

The connection was instantaneous like nothing I have ever felt before.

Long story short, her mother wanted her to get married (cultural reasons) GOON NOTE: her mom joined a cult after her divorce; soul mate's older sisters were married off in their teens to fellow members, and her mother was very against me and never gave me the chance to even meet her and talk about it.

However, I am 22 and still in school and felt very uncomfortable getting married so quickly, but I started working out, trying really hard in school and essentially getting my poo poo together because I knew this girl was worth every ounce of struggle I had to go through.

I also mistakenly took a very long time to get full on board with going through with an engagement, and I guess she started to doubt it as soon as I felt more sure. Her mom pressured her and now shes engaged to someone else.

I feel like I have lost my soul mate, my best friend, and the one person that truly understood me.

I know I have to get over here somehow, but how do I cope with the reality that I was ready too late to be with her.

Tl:Dr Lost my soul mate after 6 years of dating, finding it hard to cope with losing her.

loquacius posted:

Moridin happened

also I tried reading some of that last story but I got like twenty lines in and you could still sum it up as "help I'm 19" so I stopped

quote:

Hi all, somewhat long post here since I am freaking out.

I have been going out with my girlfriend, Suzy, for about a year now. I really love her and we are moving in together soon.

Lately, though, I have started to feel paranoid about the relationship due to some discoveries I made about her authoring sexual stories. While helping pack up her things I found a series of papers that contained erotica written in her handwriting. The manuscripts weren't dated but they were in pretty good shape so I don't know how old they are. Not my proudest moment but I secreted them away so that I could read them myself; I thought that they would help me understand her kinks better.

The theme in every one of the stories is cheating/cuckolding. Like a typical set-up would be that the girl is dating a guy but gets restless and seeks out new partners.The new guy gives her sexual satisfaction while the old guy is totally clueless and thinks that the girl is faithful to him. The stories also focus on how the girl gets off on deceiving her boyfriend. Lots of "he had no idea," "it would crush him to find out but he never would," that sort of humiliating stuff.

If that weren't disconcerting enough, there was one really long story that seemed very...personal. It was written in third person about a girl who wrote cuckold erotica as an expression for her own fantasies. When she gets in a long relationship with a guy she starts cheating on him and getting off on the deception, etc. Basically this really long story is about how her fantasies were all surpassed by the "real life" experience of cuckolding her boyfriend and hiding it from him. There were also lines in there about how he didn't even know that she had those fantasies, etc.

I almost pooped myself reading this poo poo. It was so graphic in detailing the thoughts of these serial cheaters and how their bfs are getting aggressitvely cuckolded that I couldn't help but worry about whether they had any connection to reality. The last one in particular, though written in third person, really could describe our relationship. Like, I didn't think that I was getting cheated on but the stories are all about guys who got blindsided by this cheating stuff.

Should I be worried about this? Should I tell her I found the manuscripts? It would crush me to be cheated on but at this point all I have is suspicion. It's a horrible feeling that I could be being cheated on and after reading the stories it seems like it could totally be happening.

tl;dr I found erotica written by my gf; it's all about girls who get off on cuckolding and lying to their SO's. Should I worry about getting cheated on? Should I tell her I found the manuscripts?

turbomoose posted:

DeAnna Rivas, 27 had to plead with her husband Manny, 28, before he would allow 20-year-old Melissa James to join their household.

"...It took me four years to convince him but now we have MJ in our lives"

WampaLord posted:

My (25F) boyfriend (21M) of five months is extremely close with his male best friend and their behaviour makes me uncomfortable.

Day Man posted:

Oh, come on. All of those are fake.