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im here to poo poo cum and chew bubblegum. nd I'm all out of bubblegum
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Feb 21, 2017 05:38
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| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 23:23 |
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I think I may have latent narcissistic issues becaus every time anyone I know talks to me about their problems I always offer the same solution: brag about how great I am and how the complainer is great for knowing me does this mean I'm going to be president someday?
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Feb 21, 2017 05:41
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Robert Plant posted:I didn't drink today theres a reason the one day chips are plastic. It's because you're supposed to have a lot of them
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Feb 21, 2017 05:44
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rudatron posted:yeah, we're all pretty great people for putting up with you, and you're pretty great for knowing us, glad you noticed i'm glad i said this. im at that point of drunken narcissism where im the being from teh first dimension in flatland where my only reference point is myself so i think anything anyone else says is just me saying it. good job, me. also the iranian immigrant iwas tutoring in english passed his toefl test and he stopped by with gifts a few moments ago. just some pastries and a gift card for gasoline. it was sometimes annoying coming home from work and doing tutoring sessions (i wasnt charging anything) but im glad i could show an immigrant that america isnt populated entirely by stupid xenophobic assholes im going to make it a point to invite him over next time i have friends over since it's no longer a tutoring relationsiph
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Feb 21, 2017 06:15
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Burt Sexual posted:Name all the things milo lost or will lose. the ability to live anywhere nea ra bus stop, school, or public park
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Feb 22, 2017 03:38
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@nero diddled as his empire burned down
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Feb 22, 2017 03:53
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ive noticed a lot of the milo apology talk is aobut how people who were bullied become bullies and now this explains his actions hitler had a lovely childhood too you know. but he got to keep his book deal
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Feb 22, 2017 04:08
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Aryan Bindle - A collection of poems by Adolph H.
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Feb 22, 2017 04:11
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if that actually became the title i would bust my nut because it would be my first time
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Feb 22, 2017 04:16
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i took a rabbinic studies course at a private catholic (Go Demons!) college because i really, really wanted to keep my schedule Mon-Thurs so i could have a three day weekend and the rabbi studies class was my only option for completing the religion class requirement. i had to take a big test on the oral talmud and some of the written talmud and for the oral one i came up with a pnemonic like "A&P Potatoes was hanging out with Black Sabbath to blah blah" its been a while but i dont remember any of that goy are animals talk anyway the part of the story i was trying to get to was that i was the only one of irish catholic descent in the class which was pretty obvious when Dr. Rabbi read off names for attendance. also, like the moronic 18 year old i was, i asked the professor if i could do my final paper on a really cool interpretration of the sermon on the mount as a call to non-violent protest against the romans that i had found. "No, Cumshitter. You can't do your final paper on Jesus. I feel like you've misunderstood the point of this class." "Yeah, sorry, I now realize that was a very stupid question."
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Feb 22, 2017 04:21
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it started off as a nickname then i changed it to my legal name
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Feb 22, 2017 04:23
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MODS CURE JOKES posted:that's extremely woke, would you like to be interviewed for my thinkpiece diary on the dailykos? yes but ill ahve to skype you from the toilet im buzzed and had a long day so im gonna share the cool MLK version ofthe sermon on the mount i found. jesus mentioned like 3 things and they were (in no particular order) "If a man asks you for his robe give it to hime." roman nobles would find ways to put poorer farmers into debt so they could claim their land. legally they were required to provide a debtor a robe so they wouldn tfreeze to death at night. getting naked in front of someone was supposed to shame them because you werent supposed to show your naked obdy "if a man asks you to walk a mile go two." roman roads had mile markers. a roman soldier could ask as citizen of judea to carry his pack for one marker. if you carried it for two you could report them to the legionarre or whatever and potentially get them in trouble "if a man strikes you on the left cheek show him your right." back then apparently you used your left hand to wipe your rear end and poo poo and your right for eating. you had a "clean" and a "dirty" hand. sinc eyou smack someone with the back of your hand showing your right cheek would force them to hit you with the "clean" hand and bring them down to your level. this is all probably wrong but i thought it was cool and wroth sharing
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Feb 22, 2017 04:30
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OH gently caress THEY DID IT clam down cumshitter pretend youve been here before
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Feb 22, 2017 04:31
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MODS CURE JOKES posted:to continue on the jewish education tangent, my dad took a second job as an evening teacher at like, the lovely remedial yeshiva in an orthodox community in NYC, and those kids were actually loving monsters. like, physically violent sociopaths, no joke. he brought me there once when i was like, 8 or 9 and those guys literally tried to hassle me as a small child now im imagining young 50's style jewish greaser punks being chased out of a kosher deli/market with a broom by the shopkeep
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Feb 22, 2017 04:40
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*a bunch of 50's street thugs gather under a lamplight and sing that hebrew wedding song barbershop quartet style*
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Feb 22, 2017 04:46
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punchymcpunch posted:why did 50s punks click their fingers all the time, anyway? mostly to keep the beat. when youre hassling shopkeepers, before they can grab the broom behind the counter, you need to keep the beat so your biggest guy can jump into your song and dane without... uh... missing the beat
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Feb 22, 2017 04:52
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this reminds me of a dumb vanilla ice parody i made up years back for Christ Christ Baby STOP! Consecrate and listen Christ is back with the Second Edition Magdalene is a holding me tightly As I flow through the stations daily and nightly Will I come back? I don't know know. Wait three days, pull back the rock and I'll show
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Feb 22, 2017 04:55
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punchymcpunch posted:now i want someone to remake a clockwork orange as a musical and all the songs are diegetic song and dance fight #1: britva brouhaha
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Feb 22, 2017 05:06
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i saw an old white woman tell this black dude who is a regular at my bar "ALL lives matter" after he had talked about a police shooting (forget which one this is la) like it was some sick profound mic drop worthy thing to say and it deosnt really work in real life and actually makes you look like a real rear end in a top hat
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Feb 22, 2017 05:10
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zuck aopparently wrote a big public paper about the role of social media in the public sphere and even the npr hosts were saying "yeah lol seems like his unintended argument is that facebook should be the totallity of our internet experience and zucker feels like he should be our digital king for some reason"
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Feb 22, 2017 05:13
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lol at milo getting owned nonstop a buddy of mine told me the story of david icke. when he first started going crazy and spouted this hit on the telly hed get the same laughter and derision from hosts and audiences so he has his first live show. only him. come and see the lizard prophet. everyone shows up. they laugh at him. for ten minutes straight. he waits for everyone to stop laughing and says to the audeince "You came here to laugh at a mentallly ill person. You think I'm crazy, and ill, and that's funny to you. Did you really come here to laugh at a sick person?" the audience reflected on their shame and then he told them about lizard people for an hour. milo kind of has the same tehing going on in this video but when the host calls him a self hating gay man for talking about the gross things gay people do outside of clubs like kiss and hug he basically says, "yeah im pretty horrible thats my thing"
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Feb 22, 2017 05:26
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tacodaemon posted:lol if you have never switched bodies with lena dunham for 10 minutes i imagine its like getting out of a hot tub while drunk and then trying to run
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Feb 22, 2017 05:31
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i love it when poo poo like that happens in chicago they would put life sized cow statues around the city every year (no idea if they still do it) and let local arists paint them. the fox station got an artist to paint the guy and girl who did the morning show. i guess th eartists did not like the guy host because he painted his face right over the cows butthole and nobody got the joke because theyd keep showing pictures of the cow butt painting with the dude looking like he was suckinr a really sour lemon
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Feb 22, 2017 05:37
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MODS CURE JOKES posted:i got like, three gameboy advances my uncle got aan atari genius grant. he went ont o work at nintendo
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Feb 22, 2017 05:50
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*home improvement aroo*
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Feb 22, 2017 06:01
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wowquote:Much like the Horses of Honor campaign, which featured life-size horse statues dedicated to Chicago police officers killed or injured in the line of duty, "Don't let me die Polanski, I don't want duh mare to turn me into no gay rear end pony."
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Feb 22, 2017 06:29
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theres an incel gawking thread in GBS and someone found this really good post
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Feb 22, 2017 06:34
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unfuckable he alive dammit its a miracle
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Feb 22, 2017 06:51
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someone please link me to the milo busboys article it sounds hilarious
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Feb 23, 2017 22:31
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i would approach kene bone and call him ad ork but im afraid he would take my sick burn in strid eand rise up from his chair and say "welcome to the ken bone own zone"
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Feb 24, 2017 05:45
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punchymcpunch posted:whats goin on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnFy1luxL0A
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Feb 24, 2017 05:55
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the liberal bannon wsa the dude who told carter to put on a sweater and tell people to use less heating gas during a gas crisis all iterations of bannon are dumb is my point
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Feb 24, 2017 05:59
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Epic High Five posted:How does Spicey tank a presser where he hand picks friendly outlets and bars everybody else? incompetence finds a way. it's magical. thers only so many ways to climb everest but there are so many ways to sink a boat to the bottom of the marinara trench
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Feb 25, 2017 02:12
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BAE OF PIGS posted:Perez won. Anything else I should know about today? Trump break his piss chugging record or anything? yeah trumm started the bucket of piss. Hallenge for some autism chadity
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Feb 26, 2017 03:17
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lanzendorfer sounds like a rejexted name for the mechs from xemogears
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Feb 26, 2017 03:36
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i am persobly going to write 💯 handwritten letters to everyone in the senate saying we must end support to the israeli until they cease to gen an apartheid start to counter that smail
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Feb 26, 2017 03:44
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what does garage think he can get out of trump I don't get it. I don't understand why these right wing euroapes are trying to get into trumps court because he doesn't care about foreign politics and everyone outside of America is laughing at him
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Feb 26, 2017 03:49
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like rumps grasp of foreign politics reminds me of my racist dead gay grandmA who would take us out to lunch after church. whenever the check came grams would ask the server what their ethnicity was and regardles of whether they wer Check or poll or dominion she would say "X are such hard working people. such hard working people" i prayed every time that we would get a super posssd off server thAt would say "im a moon person. Im from the mon" so grams would say "moon people are such hard working people. such hard working people, those moonstinians"
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Feb 26, 2017 03:55
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im drunk and recalling stories about my rCist grandma and one time. a relative called her to tell her about my then gf in an attempt to get her to figure out she was black. so shesw calls me "Cumshitter what is this I hear about your new girlfriend? What's her name? "It's Dimitri, grams." "Oh a nice Greek girl. They're such hard working people." dimitri was there so iletw them talk on the phone a bit and i gusss my racist relation was pissed off their plan dint work so they told grams she was black and like two weeks later she calls me "Cunshitter you're too young to settle down. Go out and pound it, slam that vag like your dick is a meat tenderizer." "Will do, grams."
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Feb 26, 2017 04:44
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| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 23:23 |
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Bert Roberge posted:Can we go back to telling our mother's about politician's erections? burn a paper mache dildo like those asians who burn ghost money for their dead repatives
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Feb 26, 2017 05:10
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