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Fartbox posted:I don't know how it is in America but in basically all my dates with Swedish women here they insist on paying for their own drinks, food etc. Sometimes I'll insist to pay for them because I really like them but usually they take care of their own business - sometimes they pay for me as well anecdotal, but i am in kansas city, date regularly, and there's a lot of traditions that are evolving in fits and starts as more women continue to find their economic voice. insisting on paying for one's own stuff is basically separate checks and is generally considered a tightwad or suspicious move. if your date does that on the first date, you are probably not getting a second - not necessarily because you did something wrong per se but because she isn't feeling that connection and wants to make drat sure you don't feel like she owes you something, or she's just naturally very suspicious - one of those sorts of ultra-paranoid people that make you wonder why they're even trying to date. i'll sometimes do this if i just don't like the girl, say something like "i'll handle my portion, it's no problem". it makes it clear i don't intend to call without it being a hard rejection. more auspicious is just throwing two cards at the check instead of one to split it down the middle, or agreeing to trade off nights out. these generally go with the understanding that you're not going to take advantage of someone's hospitality and shows a lot more trust between two people without really being any less fair if everyone plays by the rules. if someone breaks the rules, well, you find out a lot quicker and easier than you otherwise would. it's not a perfect system by any means but it all works reasonably well.
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Oct 23, 2017 22:12
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lol then just tell them that bratty behavior is unattractive, in those words, when it comes up like for real if you are honestly dealing with someone who thinks their pretty face gives them leave to act lovely, just stiffen up and go "wow, that was really...unattractive" when they do something lovely. they're either going to realize that you're dropping the limit down and apologize or continue to act lovely and defend their lovely behavior. if they do the latter well, uh, you now know they're not worth hanging around and you can wish them best of luck with their future endeavors like I don't even remotely agree that you make yourself vulnerable if you admit you find someone attractive. if they do something unattractive then you just tell them it's unattractive and you're taking that compliment back. Coolguye fucked around with this message at 09:23 on Oct 24, 2017 |
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Oct 24, 2017 09:20
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fruit on the bottom posted:Reminder that having children was once called the ultimate cuck with complete sincerity specifically it was having a daughter because having a son is somehow better when these jerks are going to teach them to be colossal parasites precisely the way they are.
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Oct 24, 2017 22:52
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Benny Harvey posted:But what difference would that make to them? I'm coming from a position of weakness so it would just come off as sour grapes. dude you are one bad day away from posting on /r/incels with this sort of attitude. if it makes a difference to them if you said "i find you attractive" (which it apparently did, because in your narrative behavior changed), why would it not matter if you said "that was unattractive"? if you get bitched out about sour grapes then just laugh and say "okay, cool, good luck with whatever you're seeking" and sever. confidence means knowing you're good enough to find another attractive woman to hang out with the next week. anyway this is the last i'll engage with this sort of sadbrain tweenybopper thinking so if you're not putting on an act go find a therapist because drat boy
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Oct 25, 2017 08:36
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my favorite part about that thread is that the guy with the first reply edited his poo poo out so he didn't distract from the main course
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Oct 25, 2017 08:50
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chumbler posted:Inceldom's roots apparently lie in catholicism. fam you have not been in a church since 1920 if you think catholicism's got anything to do with this poo poo
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Oct 26, 2017 19:33
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Guy Mann posted:Well they're not wrong, I'm sure the widespread isolation and malaise that late-stage capitalism brought on in America is something that future generations will look back on in horror. this 'isolation and malaise' is ubiquitous to civilization since cities were founded. the current generation is more fair and egalitarian in terms of fair access to sex partners than any generation since the sumerians were writing on clay tablets. there are thousands of instances of the disproportionate access high class men had to sexual conquests, be it from incan emperors complaining about how many women they had to gently caress on a daily basis or the spread of literacy in middle age europe coming not from better or more accessible education, but from wealthy merchant and crafter families outbreeding the shitfarmers so much that the grandchildren of merchants became shitfarmers (but they could read and write because granddad taught them how). 150 years ago, the supermajority of all humans on the planet never moved more than 50 miles from the place of their birth their entire lives. gently caress, in the epic of gilgamesh, one of the primary complaints that people loaded up Enkidu with to get him to go fight Gilgamesh was that Gilgamesh had a law that said he had a right to all the hymens in the city. like literally if you married a woman, you had to give her to gilgamesh so he could gently caress her first. Enkidu ended up fighting Gilgamesh but he didn't make him go back on the law because they ended up respecting each other and becoming bros - so gilgamesh continued to go on and be a stand-up awesome guy in the story...who hosed every virgin and literally cuckolded every man in his city because that was his right. the poo poo that these morons complain about is as old as civilization itself and by any objective measure the problem is smaller and life is more equal today than it has been at any point in history before. like this isn't arguable, it is verifiable fact that being anywhere in the western hemisphere makes you orders of magnitude better off in terms of romantic possibilities than any other time in history, short of being an emperor or other royal. not that the first word of any of this matters because of the mythical Chad and their negative canthal tilt or whatever the utter gently caress these self-loathing scumsuckers lament. Coolguye fucked around with this message at 02:32 on Oct 27, 2017 |
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Oct 27, 2017 02:29
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there are definitely a lot of very detailed descriptions of how loving fine enkidu's rear end was like, specifically his rear end.
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Oct 27, 2017 02:47
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the first week of sex was with an insanely hot vestal virgin so it wasn't all gay
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Oct 27, 2017 15:38
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Fathis Munk posted:Clearly Gilgamesh is a Chad, maybe even the Chad. like basically this whole book is on the economic subject, but you can get some choice bits starting on page 14. the note about rich people breeding so drat much it brought literacy to the working classes is on page 133. the biological/sexual part of what i'm talking about has another entire book on the matter by the same author. notes on the polygamous nature of hyper-successful men start on page 170 (chapter 16), where he calls out the quotas powerful men had for 30, 50, or more women in their harems. this comes with the associated note that, hey, there weren't that many more women than men, so for every one noble that existed, another 3-4 dozen men died incel. saying nothing of the emperor himself, who had a harem of 1500 women, and therefore created, pessimistically, 1499 incels. the number is actually lower, because - as pointed out on page 126 - there is an odd quirk that women who suffer from diseases that mark the lower class have more daughters than sons. but not so many more that it would have counteracted the habits of the nobility. there's way more examples of both throughout both books and each call-out is sourced in the bibliographies at the backs of the books (which are dozens of pages long). i've read much more of this stuff but these books are easy to read, well sourced, well regarded even after being out for a long while, and there are pdfs online that i can link without digging out my kindle copies.
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Oct 27, 2017 15:55
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SaltyJesus posted:im the Portland PUA it's hilarious actually because the book calls PUA bullshit by pointing out that women, in fact, have brains and make real, justifiable decisions not sure why they'd have that book hosted on their website but WHATEVER
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Oct 27, 2017 16:35
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hyphz posted:Therapy for this stuff IS a mess, though. It isn’t even necessarily a mental illness. The idea that “go get help” is a quick solution is just as wrong as the fairytale teenage romance thing. no it actually is exactly that simple. here is the brilliant trick though: the person receiving therapy has to want to change. no treatment or technique will ever work unless this is true. but wanting to change means you have to accept responsibility for your situation and your decisions, and NOT doing that is a part of their lovely identity.
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Oct 31, 2017 09:17
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yeah for real most therapists could not only provide different ways of looking at this they can also back up calling it a delusion with facts that they have the time to look up and substantiate because they're, you know, being paid for it but the ultimate thing here, again, is that their patient must honestly want to change their situation. step one of that is accepting that you're the one who got here in the first place. this 'bad roll of the genetic dice' stuff is their layers-deep denial that they have anything to do with their own problems.
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Oct 31, 2017 17:50
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green chicken feet posted:I don't have an answer for this, but I have had this question before. It's not that I don't believe in mental illness, but is every immature, self-entitled rear end in a top hat necessarily mentally ill? the DSMs typically make the distinction by classifying a particular set of (irrational, self-destructive, whatever) behavior as narrowly as possible and saying that you have to display this particular set of behavior x number of times in y time period. these classifications have specific disqualifying sets as well - for example, "intermittant explosive disorder", also known as "this motherfucker kicks off into rages for like, no apparent reason" explicitly disqualifies people who fly into rages for a functional end, such as to intimidate or assert power. in this case, the jerks who fly into rages like that are just abusive spouses and cult leader assholes who have no excuse for their lovely behavior. the line differs from diagnosis to diagnosis, but the big thing to note is that mental illness is classified by some sort of honestly broken brain, defined in the universe of "this behavior serves some purpose that makes the organism hosting the brain more comfortable than otherwise." if you're made more comfortable by some parasitic behavior then you're just a worthless dicklicker. it's only when your brain is literally making you fly into destructive rages for no purpose or end that it becomes a mental illness. this is why armchair psychology is so hilarious. people don't understand this basic context. in this way, no, most incels are not, in fact, mentally ill. their auto-erotic loathing is more comfortable than the alternative they would have to face - that they are responsible for their conditions and they are responsible for improving it.
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Nov 1, 2017 00:14
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Dienes posted:A diagnosis has literally nothing to do with the brain (barring something like TBI), which is why they don't actually give you any medical tests for a psychological diagnosis. That's why not all kids with ADHD react the same way to stimulants - it works for some and not others because their brain chemistry is radically different despite having the same behaviors and diagnosis. We call people 'broke brained' if they have a diagnosis, not the other way around. "Broke brained" in this case was a term to be used in the context of the forum's vernacular, not a biological determination. joylessdivision posted:Yes incels, you are just like Frankenstein's monster. Everywhere you go flowers wilt and children weep. he also got even more chad as time went on, see also young frankenstein Coolguye fucked around with this message at 07:12 on Nov 1, 2017 |
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Nov 1, 2017 06:57
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Furia posted:So the premier book on the incel condition was written by a woman? don't focus on the parts that don't matter, you see the monster is relevant because and furthermore
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Nov 1, 2017 16:24
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P-Mack posted:Reddit gold, frankincel, and myrhh'lady.
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Nov 1, 2017 19:44
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NO gently caress YOU DAD posted:Knowing you're not the sexual ideal means not having to worry about not being the sexual ideal. When my hairline reached the point where I had to buzz it short it actually boosted my confidence because I wasn't trying to hide my imperfection anymore - it's hard to worry about people "finding out" you're going bald when you go into the relationship looking like Bruce Willis in Die Hard 3. i lust for the day this happens to me. i've got a bald spot that makes me look like a franciscan monk but i have enough hair to make a short, professional cut look good otherwise. it's one of those things i can't easily get rid of because it looks great in a meeting, but it looks stupid on a date. looking forward to when i have to buzz it off so i can just riff off venture brothers and say "yeah my deal with god is that as long as he shaves the top of my head i'll do the sides"
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Nov 2, 2017 05:59
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prly should
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Nov 2, 2017 06:33
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Benny Harvey posted:Have you heard my volume or pronunciation?
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Nov 3, 2017 00:43
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Palpek posted:I also find the comparison between Obama and Sarkozy amusing. The former has been happily married for 25 years to the same woman who would score pretty badly on the incel attractiveness scale and the latter has been married 3 times to fashion models and pop-singers and had numerous publically known romances with beautiful women. But nope, tall guy slayer, short guy virgin anyone who would call Michelle Obama anything but gorgeous is certifiably insane I'm sure there are 500 posts calling her everything but gorgeous on that subreddit
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Nov 3, 2017 08:23
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well, let me put the whole looks thing this way: if you are not clean, your skin and hair will show this - your skin will be patchy or have acne, your hair will be greasy and unkempt, and you will smell. male or female, this communicates to me that you do not care about own welfare; this is the most basic goddamn thing that anyone can do to ensure they are not going to get diseased or carry disease. if you do not care about your own welfare, why should I think for an instant you will care about mine? if you have no pride in yourself, your clothing will show this - it will be dirty, mismatched, fit poorly, and in poor repair. male or female, this communicates to me that you do not care about how people perceive you. unless you are literally in poverty, walmarts and other big box stores have ensured you can get at least one or two outfits that loving fit you. you have chosen, for whatever reason, not to do this. therefore, you probably do not care what people think about you. if you do not care about how people perceive you, why should I think for an instant that you will listen to a goddamn word I say? what evidence do I have that I can have a conversation with you? if you have no ambition or drive, your body will show this. You might be fat or a rail - it doesn't matter. male or female, this communicates to me that you cannot be bothered to do something uncomfortable for a payoff - which, like it or not, includes pretty much everything about long term relationships, be they platonic or romantic. they're work. there's rough spots. they require compromise, communication, and pain. but the payoff is substantial. if you have no drive and no patience, why should I think for an instant that I can deal with you in any sort of long term? what evidence do I have that I can do things with you and have a good result? these are known as basic social cues and it seems to me like this needs to be spelled out, yet loving again, because this is the internet and we have fat, unwashed morons in week-old anime shirts reading this poo poo. you might argue that none of these things are deterministic cues - and you would be right. i've had plenty of groomed, well dressed, fit people of both sexes screw me over. i've had way more fat, slovenly pigs of both sexes screw me over because i decided i was going to be the enlightened no-judgment overmind in my younger years. surprise, there's a drat reason these perceptions exist. why on earth should i try talking to you when i have evidence that the clean, groomed, fitter person next to you will be a more valuable connection, regardless of how thin that evidence is? so you can whine and moan and say 'people judge me before they know me' while sniffing the unique brand of funk that comes from your 4-day-dirty crotch and then scratching your pot belly through your naruto shirt, or you can realize that the strict majority of communication is nonverbal, understand that you're saying nothing complementary about yourself, and get working to change that. neither incels nor benny will do the latter because that requires honest work at self improvement. instead they'll talk about random crap they ostensibly can't fix. literally no matter what collection of 'ugly' features you talk about, NONE of it is even remotely as important as being clean, groomed, and healthy looking, which you can do with 80 bucks at walmart a month, 2 hours in the gym a week, and 20 minutes in the shower a day. Coolguye fucked around with this message at 22:02 on Nov 5, 2017 |
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Nov 5, 2017 21:59
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Anne Whateley posted:Acne and cleanliness aren't actually related fwiw. That poo poo's genetic, enjoy they are completely related. the first thing that a dermatologist will tell someone who is having acne problems to do is to wash their loving faces more. only after they have established that the person in question isn't a disgusting pig will they look at other causes and treatments. what you're referring to as genetic is the majority of the cases of cystic acne, the most painful and damaging sort that causes large lesions that look nothing like the unwashed, plugged up blackhead bullshit that unclean nerds routinely have and ignore. THAT is definitely not related to cleanliness but that's not even remotely what i'm referring to here. Coolguye fucked around with this message at 23:03 on Nov 5, 2017 |
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Nov 5, 2017 23:00
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timefly posted:Yep, this is the main way looks matter to most people. Incels think a big nose or whatever makes them subhuman and has doomed them to a life of solitude, when those things don't necessarily make someone unattractive, and people (it seems like women especially) have a range of different features they can find attractive. yep. it's also worth noting that the Red Queen book i linked earlier notes on page 261 that per 36 statistically represented samples done over pretty much the entire western world, there are indeed a lot of differences in how men and women evaluate mates. women tend to place a higher value on the wealth of their partner, and men on the looks of a prospective partner. but these are all down the list. these superficial things always rank at least 3rd in the decision making process. the first two are the same between the sexes, and are....kindness, and intelligence. incels have neither. how surprising that they're alone.
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Nov 5, 2017 23:08
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Anne Whateley posted:No, they aren't related and post-1950s dermatologists won't say they are. The first thing dermatologists usually say to acne patients is to wash less often and more gently. huh fair enough, guess the dermatologists i saw in my late teens and early twenties were pre-1950s. Benny Harvey posted:Nah. lol count how many times this guy contradicts himself in this one post i've got 4 from a quick scan
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Nov 5, 2017 23:50
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"it's your parents' responsibility that you exist" woah.
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Nov 5, 2017 23:58
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Benny Harvey posted:Such as? brother man you apparently have all the answers in this thread so why don't you go back and read your own poo poo, slowly, and pick out a few things that could potentially be taken as double-talk bullshit or trying to have a situation both ways go on, i'll give you a minute. until you do that and prove you're actually capable of self-reflection i have no reason to treat you as anything but a colossal loving joke.
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Nov 6, 2017 03:39
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The Dennis System posted:(Also, as a woman, you have no idea if it's hard or not. It's totally outside of your experience. It's probably even totally outside what you can imagine.) pick is right and you are wrong hth
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Nov 6, 2017 05:45
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Benny Harvey posted:I felt the need to clarify because I despise being defined and categorised by other people, especially when they don't know me. I hate being called a liar when I'm telling the truth or people putting words into my mouth. It makes me feel violated. you are a liar and the first person you lied to was yourself again, i challenge you: go back and read your poo poo, slowly, and honestly ask yourself how someone might see your posting as disingenuous. there are probably a dozen examples. hell your last post provides at least another two.
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Nov 6, 2017 20:58
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Literally A Person posted:Coolguye, could you stop feeding the Benny? ok fine
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Nov 6, 2017 21:13
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i honestly cannot think of anyone, even the jocks who 'ruled the school', who thinks of middle school as an idyllic time. everyone hated everything, including themse-- ohhhhhhhhhhhhh.
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Nov 6, 2017 21:43
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what the gently caress lol reddit actually banned the blackpills? this is a good day.
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Nov 8, 2017 00:39
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oh my god 
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Nov 8, 2017 03:11
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Palpek posted:That's good, an obscure website outside of a mainstream place like Reddit will make 'recruiting' at least a little bit harder. Also when not under Reddit rule they're pretty much guaranteed to devolve to posting outright about rape, slavery and violence so the site should end up on some FBI watchlist sooner or later. looking forward to the announcement that the database has been hacked and all the incels' IP addresses and emails have been compromised
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Nov 8, 2017 10:34
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lol jesus that daily infographic thing
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Nov 8, 2017 20:22
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pretty sure there's a moment in paper mario where baby bowser claims that peach is his mother and she basically goes "huh, checks out"
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Nov 8, 2017 21:29
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that post was pretty racist homeslice
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Nov 9, 2017 17:58
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