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There's also the risk that not everyone in your office understands "moderation" the same way and once your office gets to a certain size, the higher the chance some idiot is going to say "Well if Jimbob in Accounting has a light beer with lunch, my boys in the Sales team can do 5+ rounds of shots! It's not like we're DRIVING anywhere after, plus it's Thirsty Thursday!" I worked in a tech bro office that had booze privileges taken away after a couple dudes who were in denial about their alcohol problems started cracking beers open at 10 am and drinking for the rest of the day. They only ever had one beer open at a time, jeez, what's the big deal? And of course they would give some to the underage interns, who cares?? Everyone is soo uptight! It's just easier all around to say "no alcohol at work".
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Oct 20, 2021 20:45
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FilthyImp posted:I mean, it sounds more like dude's pretty caring and above the board about everything. He's trying to be supportive of the Ex and the situation he's in, while also checking in with the then-current partner to make sure they were doing OK. The fact that the ex discovered she was pregnant while OP was dating her bf is a little weird to me. Generally people find out they're pregnant within a month or two, so OP's bf was sleeping with his ex as recently as eight weeks ago. That's...a pretty short timeline for a serious relationship to begin with someone else. It's unclear if the boyfriend was cheating on her with his ex and got the ex pregnant or if their relationship started after he stopped seeing the ex. Either way, the timing is messy. I would be pretty upset if the guy I just started dating was like "ope my ex just found out she's pregnant, gotta go be a dad". Although, if you just started seeing a guy and he announced that, that's a bullet dodged. Just break up, he's got other things to worry about right now, and your relationship isn't far enough along to commit to co-parenting.
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Nov 11, 2021 15:32
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FilthyImp posted:OP said they started dating 3 months ago, and the ex breakup happened April-ish. I'd say the first Trimester finding out you're pregnant if you're not trying isn't crazy. Yeah, that's fair. I must've missed the details about the pregnancy timing. Still, a three-month relationship is not that big of a thing to lose when the circumstances change so drastically. It's super annoying and immature to do the whole "I'm not mad" pouting thing in any relationship. It seems like her ideal resolution to this situation is for her bf to just be a total deadbeat dad and act like nothing is happening, which is also extremely childish. Lots of red flags there.
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Nov 11, 2021 16:15
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Evil Willow posted:AITA for an incident after being "rejected" at the arcade? (hard to explain, please read) /r/relationships: an ambassador for the dance game community
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Nov 13, 2021 05:21
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Runcible Cat posted:Yeah, fucksake, go to a rescue, pick a big fluffy floppy cat you like, save $1600. Or just wait for one to show up at your house. That's how I got my big fluffy idiot cat. The best cats pick you ime.
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Nov 14, 2021 21:56
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kalel posted:the actual issue is that she really doesn't need him but, for whatever reason (internalized toxic masculinity, codependency issues), he believes she should. Yeah. I would say it's heterosexual brain poisoning + entitlement: the heterosexual brain poisoning that The Logical Next Step of Relationships is living together despite their city/country combo being actually rad. The entitlement is that he wants something and he thinks she should compromise so he gets what he wants, despite her being happy with the way things are. This is the actual problem: he can't quite grasp that she actually has desires that are not only independent of his but in this situation actually oppose what he wants.
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Nov 16, 2021 14:42
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Pope Corky the IX posted:What was the name of the loving idiot in that children's book series that would take everything literally? Like she was told to stake the garden so she ended up putting throwing a bunch of steaks in the dirt. Amelia Bedelia! Her whole deal was that she was extremely literal but also made extremely good cake so they forgave her for doing all that poo poo.
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Nov 30, 2021 14:36
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Hellblazer187 posted:Yeah this also baffles the poo poo out of me. That's why I said yoga guy is a top 10%er for this thread. He's not a total waste - he's fit and does housework. A lot of these losers just play video games and remain totally unwashed. There seems to be a lot of "boiling the frog" happening: two people get together, they both seem to have their poo poo together enough, they move in together, one loses their job, the other covers all the expenses temporarily while the first job searches... Then the "job search" never goes anywhere, because they're the type of person who needs Actual Consequences in order to take any action. They seem to be thinking, "Why would I bother getting a job, which is annoying and hard, when my partner is willing and able to pay for rent and food?" not realizing that the partner is a ticking time bomb of resentment.
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Nov 30, 2021 17:06
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greazeball posted:My sister manages a pharmacy in a smallish town with a regular crew. Her schedule is done remotely by some central person and I can't tell any difference between them and the cokehead fuckwit who did my schedule at McDonald's when I was 15. Totally inconsistent bullshit done at the last minute for two-week intervals plus forgetting/denying holidays and making her find cover on her own every goddamn time. Can someone explain to me why it doesn't make sense to just repeat the same schedule every pay period? I have never understood this. edit: saw above re: anti-union. That seems like it would just be shooting yourself in the foot, all your employees would be too frazzled to do their jobs at any level.
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Dec 8, 2021 01:23
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Combo posted:My brother in law and his wife have 3 boys that are all teenagers, the oldest is 18. They just had a baby this year. Yeah, there's a fair amount of "surprise" babies that happen when Mom and Dad figure Mom's old enough that they don't have to worry about birth control anymore. Whoops, pregnant.
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Dec 8, 2021 21:08
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codswallop posted:I let my best friend move in with us because he was going through a bad time now he and my wife have gotten close and want us to start a poly "family" /r/relationships: I cant punch my way to a world where my best friend and wife are better people edit: obviously beaten because that is such a good line
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Dec 11, 2021 14:03
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EIDE Van Hagar posted:Kids have no idea what the gently caress is going on and you should have all of them doing your chores before they wise up. Not only that but little kids are full of chaos energy. If you don't figure out a way to harness it, they'll find their own ways to keep themselves occupied, which usually means destroying something. For example, when my little brother was three he was left alone for some incredibly short amount of time and still somehow managed to dump blue poster paint on the beige couch enough to cover a cushion and an armrest. We still have no idea where he got the paint. I don't think any of us kids ever actually helped my mom cook / do chores / garden, but we did learn a bunch of useful skills, and it kept us from painting the couch again.
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Dec 15, 2021 15:38
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Cowslips Warren posted:I have never heard of Boo Baskets. I'd assume it was some kind of goth sex toy before Halloween/Easter adult baskets. I Googled them, because I'm usually vaguely aware of dumb Pinterest trends like that via my sister or cousins, and even I hadn't heard of it. So far, they definitely seem to be for kids - it's your Halloween candy bucket but instead of being all candy from trick or treat it's only a little candy and then Halloween themed crafts, knick-knacks, etc. Definitely seems to be from the same school of thought as "trunk or treat" in church parking lots. "Hallowe'en is the DEVIL's night, but if we cancel it outright the kids will revolt so let's give them some watered down experience and hopefully they'll get bored on their own!" Only this time it's not the fundies who are trying to cancel Halloween, it's the progressives who think "Kids shouldn't eat a whole BUCKET of CANDY! They can have little a candy, as a treat, and then we'll just fill the rest of this bucket with plastic spider rings and a bunch of pumpkin stickers, for their Health." The idea of an adult trying to make their equally-adult boyfriend participate in this is painting a portrait of very particular kind of person. Boyfriend still sounds like he sucks ("it's the thought that counts!" "But you didn't put any thought into it..."), but homegirl might be waiting a long, long time if she wants her partner to make her Boo Baskets.
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Dec 16, 2021 14:35
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pentyne posted:Are men required to be meticulously groomed, hair eyebrows beard etc, wear concealer to hide blemishes and toner to smooth out their skin complexion? No? Wow who could've guessed. That would've been an interesting way to deal with the discrimination argument. Immediately require all male staff members to have Kpop band level grooming and watch your business double overnight. edit: turn the bar into a Japanese host bar: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1plfLIaviE vonnegutt fucked around with this message at 00:16 on Dec 20, 2021 |
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Dec 20, 2021 00:10
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The_Franz posted:that they call the living/dining room the "common study area" indicates that these people are uptight dicks. unless, of course, they live in an old mansion with an *actual* study, which is 99.9999% likely to not be the case here ESH for not going with the 90s standby of "the computer room". "the computer room" is the spare bedroom with a massive corner "desk"/hutch/shelving unit with a giant beige CRT on top and beige tower in a special "tower" cabinet. the only acceptable activities are researching for school on Encarta, using Microsoft Word, or playing 2-3 pre-approved games. edit: "surfin the web" can be done in special, pre-approved circumstances but the door stays OPEN
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Dec 21, 2021 19:58
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Barudak posted:I feel like its a very boomer trait to not want to be called Grandma/Grandpa [NAME]. It's this. I was out with my mom and her friends recently and they were all talking about their future grandchildren and how they can't possibly be old enough to be called Grandma, so all of them have some weird workaround. Then they try to get the baby to pronounce it and it always turns into some variety of Gramma/Nana anyway.
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Dec 25, 2021 13:53
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Solenna posted:If he didn't get her anything for her birthday, and they didn't discuss spending at all, I'm not really sure what she was expecting? For sure it's disappointing but it's like being disappointed that your un-housebroken dog poo poo on the floor. It sounds like she's not willing to accept that he just sucks hardcore and doesn't care about her at all. I wonder if she had some kind of justification like "Well, birthdays aren't really his thing, but he loves Christmas, so he will be sure to get me a present then, because he loves receiving presents!" It's really hard for some people to accept that others can just be selfish and have no problem receiving without giving anything.
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Dec 26, 2021 14:19
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Soylent Pudding posted:AITA for blowing up at my husband after he showed up to my workplace to trade the gift I gave him with the one I gave my boss?. I came into this expecting the gift for the boss to be something massively inappropriate, like a gaming console or something. To find out this jerk husband is going to blow everything up over a tie? quote:He didn't say he didn't like it but he has a bit of a passive attitude and he doesn't say his honest opinions. Although I knew this guy sucked as soon as I read that.
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Dec 28, 2021 17:15
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Invisible Clergy posted:AITA for making my wife take extra care about food hygiene? He doesn't have OCD, he has OCPD: Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, where you have OCD but you think it's the world that's being unreasonable, not you. They aren't compatible, so they should break up. Still, if you have OCD but you just make all your loved ones obey your rituals / compulsions instead of dealing with your issue, you're the rear end in a top hat. It's not clear from this that he's trying to compromise or work on his OCD at all. I wonder how much he's leaving out if she feels she has to walk on eggshells - or if she's just gross, which is what he's trying to get across. Yay unreliable narrators. FWIW I agree with him on the food hygiene part. I would also feel weird about putting the spoon back in the cream(?) but mostly because it goes bad faster if you introduce bacteria. That's why I don't eat/drink directly from the containers even though I live alone. edit: I guess he is trying to keep it to himself, but it's unclear how well he's doing since his wife is complaining.
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Dec 29, 2021 13:37
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Foo Diddley posted:AITA for telling my boyfriend that he needs to stop watching a certain streamer? I am having a variety of Thoughts on radicalization engines, parasocial relationships, and how both affect modern relationships that I can't quite articulate yet. Mostly because I'm totally distracted by the idea of listening to any audio source for more than an hour or so. How is this guy able to form a single thought?
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Jan 6, 2022 13:04
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I definitely feel like the "level of interaction with the end recipient" is what gives me pause about the foot pics. When I was younger and broker I looked into stuff like that - selling underwear, selling foot pics - stuff that's clearly sex work but also low-effort. From my reading of forums, etc, what really sets you apart is basically being available to answer emails and text messages. Basically, the better you are at participating in the dude's fantasy, the more money you make. Likewise, the cam girls who made the most money were the ones who encouraged the parasocial relationship the most. OnlyFans has made that their business model: it's not "just" porn, you can actually talk to these women and have a relationship with them! Naturally the ones who are best at faking the relationship have the most devoted fans.
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Jan 11, 2022 19:59
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spincube posted:...casserole? For breakfast? Y'all don't have breakfast casserole where you're from? There's a lot of different kinds but most involve some kind of egg and potato product. There's also strata which is like savory French toast, so egg and bread. Hash brown casserole is pretty basic but you can get really involved adding sausage, peppers, cheese, etc. It's also extremely re-heatable like all casseroles. I'm on team Mom Cooks When She Feels Like It and Teens Can Figure it Out. Probably because I was expected to help in the kitchen from as soon as I could stand up and by age 12 was expected to completely cook one meal a week for the family. I had to look through a cookbook, choose a main dish and sides, and add the ingredients to the grocery list on Sunday. Then on Thursday I was expected to prepare dinner. I always made enchiladas. By the time I was in high school, Mom had delegated 3 nights to us kids.
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Jan 19, 2022 20:42
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poisonpill posted:How did this work for you growing up? Did you resent it? Do you feel like it made you more confident and able to actually feed yourself as an adult? I think it was a good system, I'm very at home in the kitchen and can cook anything from an involved Thanksgiving dinner to an easy weeknight meal for one. I save a lot of money compared with friends because I don't buy a lot of takeout or prepared food items. Downsides: I am so sick of enchiladas
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Jan 19, 2022 20:53
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RoboRodent posted:I had a similar upbringing, though the milestone of "You should make dinner once a week" was probably age 14. I made a lot of spaghetti bolognese and chili. When my closest sister got older, she often went for stir fry on her nights. The enchiladas I made were basically ground beef + enchilada sauce. I also made a spaghetti sauce: ground beef + jarred marinara. I'm sensing a theme here.
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Jan 19, 2022 23:26
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Evil Willow posted:AITA for telling my girlfriend her baths are expensive? What is this dude's actual problem with his girlfriend's baths? Can he just not handle that she enjoys something that isn't him?
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Feb 2, 2022 17:28
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RenegadeStyle1 posted:Yeah your GFs friend was being very unreasonable but uhhhh clean your loving guest bathroom??? Yeah definitely clean before having guests over but also have the self respect to not declare rooms in your house "out of order" because you refuse to clean them? Like this guy waffles between "Nothing can be done" and "1 hour of directed effort" ... makes me wonder what he did to the dang luffa, 'cause he's an unreliable narrator.
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Mar 3, 2022 17:16
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Invisible Clergy posted:AITA for saying sandwich ingredients are hard to procure? I worked with a guy like this. Sneered at my homemade lunch everyday on the way out to pick up takeout. He didn't believe me when I said I did it to save money, as "a sandwich only costs $10-$15, and going to the grocery is a whole lot more than that"
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Mar 10, 2022 22:24
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Dr. Stab posted:Not repeating dresses is like, a celebrity stylist thing, right? I don't know anybody so wasteful as to buy a dress to wear once and then toss it. I think it's becoming more prevalent now that social media documents every "dress up" occasion for perpetuity. It becomes much more noticeable if you only have a few nice things and rotate them. It's enough of a "thing" that Rent the Runway exists, where you can have a dress mailed to you for a week or so for 10-20% of the original cost. It's actually pretty handy if you don't go to a ton of formal occasions. I don't care about the repeating outfits aspect, but I will need to get a couple dresses for weddings in the next year, and it just makes more sense to rent them rather than permanently own a dress I'm only likely to wear a handful of times.
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Mar 31, 2022 16:01
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Yeah if the SIL is doing it because she has no experience with hardship or things not going her way, I don't see how preventing this disaster is going to teach her anything. She'll just try to torpedo her life for the next charismatic do-nothing that comes along. Also, trying to torpedo her life, no matter how privileged she is, is probably a sign that SIL isn't super happy with the status quo. It might not be likely that this new situation will work out, but maybe she is willing to take that chance rather than stagnate in the current situation. vonnegutt fucked around with this message at 22:43 on Apr 4, 2022 |
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Apr 4, 2022 22:40
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Seriously who are these kids though? Is he just offering to babysit all the time? Who is trusting their kids to this man?
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Apr 5, 2022 16:02
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Captain Hygiene posted:WIBTA if I remove the "in sickness" part from my marriage vow to my fiance [29M]? This one is a little weird to me because of the repeated references to this woman's parents. If she was forced into the role of a medical caregiver early in life I can see how she would be resentful and not want to repeat that. As written, her attitude sucks, but there definitely seems like more of a backstory here.
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Apr 23, 2022 18:19
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Soylent Pudding posted:AITA for taking my daughter to get her hair cut when I knew it would upset my wife? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIm8HfwnmVE
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Apr 25, 2022 20:54
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Evil Willow posted:AITA for complimenting a friend of mine making my fiancée jealous? If the guy is this over the top and gushy about how hot Sara is in his AITA post, I can't imagine what it was like in real life.
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May 11, 2022 14:08
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DemoneeHo posted:AITA for being upset about my wife’s birthday party? This definitely feels like an unreliable narrator. Specifically the part about being worn out and calling his parents for help watching his children because he...spent a Saturday with his own child? I wonder if this man just thoroughly sucks at everything and everyone around him is constantly picking up the pieces. That would explain why he wasn't included in any planning and his participation in any event is an afterthought.
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May 17, 2022 16:34
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Biplane posted:This deep aversion a lot of people have towards adoption rustles my biscuits something fierce. I get that feeling (why is it soo important that your child look like you?) but it's not like you can just adopt a kid as simply as you can adopt a cat. It seems like to do it properly it takes a lot of both time and money. There's also the quagmire of what child you're adopting. I can completely understand wanting to start fresh with a healthy baby that doesn't have any baggage or trauma but that's also the population that's most in-demand whereas there are tons of kids in the foster system that need to be adopted more. Plus no matter who you adopt, there's likely to be added complications, from potential birth parent drama to unknown medical histories to the various microaggressions adopted kids have to deal with. I can completely understand being interested in having kids but not wanting to deal with all of that.
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May 23, 2022 13:13
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Charles Get-Out posted:Hot take if you're dating someone for 4 years you should probably know at least a little about them. Japan and Korea aren't homogenous inscrutable cultures and the styles are pretty distinct. Yeah exactly. If you know that you don't know enough about it to make an informed purchase, you don't buy some random thing. Offer a shopping trip as a gift instead and let her pick. The reaction of "What's the difference?" to your Japanese girlfriend is basically the worst possible response.
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May 24, 2022 16:50
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Mx. posted:AITA for buying a triplex instead of a home for myself and my boyfriend? Ahh, the ol' "wanting to keep his options open but have his partner look out for his needs" hypocrisy. Classic!
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May 27, 2022 00:34
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Cythereal posted:My (30f ) decade long good friend (32m) declared his undying love for me when we went out drinking . That's ...an incredible buried lede where the dude has apparently recently become extremely political, racist AND sexist. What a winner edit: Also if you have a "will they/won't they" relationship IRL while you both are dating other people, including one multi-year relationship, you both probably have terrible interpersonal boundaries. Please date each other so that you are out of the dating pool. vonnegutt fucked around with this message at 21:09 on May 29, 2022 |
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May 29, 2022 21:07
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There's literally a show on Netflix right now called Old Enough where Japanese children run their first errands on their own. Most of the participants are 3-4 years old. They're often sent to go to multiple stores. In one episode, a little girl hands a cashier a wad of cash and says "Please count this for me, I can't do math yet". It's adorable but also shows the stark contrast to American children. I was a latchkey kid from age 8 onwards in the 90s, responsible for getting off the schoolbus, walking half a mile to the house and hanging around from 4 or so until my single mom got home from work around 6pm. Even at the time this was pretty unusual - I had one neighbor who I could go to if I had an emergency but otherwise I was not supposed to make it well-known. edit: I forgot SNL did a great parody of Old Enough that seems relevant for this thread: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhGTtWsW9F8 vonnegutt fucked around with this message at 13:15 on May 30, 2022 |
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May 30, 2022 13:12
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Sisal Two-Step posted:AITA for quitting over interns? As a 34 year old, unless she changed careers, she's most likely a senior software engineer with probably a decade of experience. Depending on how long she was with the current company, she could probably make bank by switching jobs right now. Heck she should probably change jobs for that reason alone, interns or no interns. It is a hot market.
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May 30, 2022 15:46
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