The Football Funhouse Chat Thread of 2024: Thanks for the fart update, babe

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > The Football Funhouse Chat Thread of 2024: Thanks for the fart update, babe

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CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

bobjr posted:

I like how you can make the shittiest Haiku�s

The video game
Ghosts of Tsushima lets you
write lovely haikus

# ¿ Jan 4, 2024 23:41

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# ¿ May 12, 2024 05:16

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Braksgirl posted:

Pelican in a Box update: it is not a pelican. It's a woodcock. (lol your mom likes woodcocks) Coworker's mom who works for Environmental Quality came and picked it up. Also, I work with some really dumb people because wtf how does this remotely look like a pelican jfc.

Pelicans, well known for their small pointy beaks.

Wait, no

# ¿ Jan 5, 2024 21:15

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Baby Pelican, with rounded beak

https://birdfact.com/articles/baby-pelicans

# ¿ Jan 5, 2024 21:39

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Rogue Elephant posted:

It's not super weird, Nike is ending their golf apparel line soon. They already stopped making actual clubs and balls years ago.

Doesn't he have his own apparel line anyways? It may have been through Nike as a subsidiary / whatever, but there was Tiger Woods branded apparel and he could take the logo to another clothing manufacturer.

# ¿ Jan 8, 2024 21:05

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

a sexual elk posted:

Also that measuring cup is awesome for stocks. Has a trigger to open the hole at the bottom. Bottom filled my Tupperware containers up like 90% then regular poured from the top so each container had an equal amount of fat/floaty bits.
Hard to do with a regular measuring cup, first like 4 containers get all the good poo poo and last one gets all the heavy sod

I use this to separate the fat when making stock: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07V1ZSYVF

I also strain everything through cheesecloth over a strainer beforehand to get out the solids, so I make relatively clear stock.

Having a trigger to pour from the bottom works just as well, that's pretty cool.

# ¿ Jan 11, 2024 19:20

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

a sexual elk posted:

Well I�m going to Victorville

Android Apocalypse posted:

Go hang out at George AFB for me. I haven't been there in a long time.

Just bring a good flashlight and watch out for the meth squatters.

I know I've told this story before, but it's a fun one.

My dad and I were in Victorville waiting for a load to head back East, and we were in a hotel. At one point the front desk called and we were told to please come down to the lobby and wait in the lounge for a while. Evidently a meth lab in a hotel room on our floor was discovered / exploded, and the cops and hazmat teams were there.

Ahh, the high desert.

# ¿ Jan 12, 2024 06:38

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Android Apocalypse posted:

If McDonald's out quarter pounder patties in their Big Mac I'd become so from eating those all the time.

If you go inside you can ask for Mac sauce on a quarter pounder.

They'll even do it for a McDouble, ask me how I know*

*I asked and they did it for a 25 cent upcharge WORTH IT

# ¿ Jan 12, 2024 20:42

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Intruder posted:

My lunch is also at home

As am I

I made the Serious Eats oven baked buffalo wings for lunch, they were crispy and good. I prepped them last night.

Sorry Android Apocalypse, I just ate them right out of the bowl I used to toss them, no fancy plating for me.

# ¿ Jan 12, 2024 22:15

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

kiimo posted:

My 40 minute flight from Vegas to Burbank was canceled and replaced by a 4 hour and 30 minute winding trip through Utah this is fun

Yeesh, it's a 4 and half hour to just drive from Vegas to LAX

# ¿ Jan 14, 2024 00:55

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Silly Burrito posted:

It's getting cold around here but I've heard other places have had two feet of snow.

When you showed this to your kids (because I KNOW you did, that's a solid :dadjoke:

) how did they react?

Also, question to the chat thread: Who here remembers a photoshop / animated gif thread in GBS many years ago where a soccer player fell over trying to kick the ball. He wasn't contested, it wasn't a foul or anything, he just completely beefed it by kicking the ground before the ball and fell over.

I'm asking this because I remember it being an actual exhibit in the Museum of the Moving Image in Queens NYC. With the animated gifs on loop on different screens. I swear this happened.

# ¿ Jan 14, 2024 19:32

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Shinji2015 posted:

Didn't he just lose a ton of money on a bad bet, too?

Was it the Bucs over Falcons game with the late TD making them hit the over or something?

# ¿ Jan 19, 2024 06:37

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

FizFashizzle posted:

We use it to put kids under conscious sedation if I have to set a bone or something.

I always ask them who their favorite Pok�mon or whatever and tell them to think about them. I always tell parents not to watch, and they laugh when they come back and the first thing the kid says is �I met machamp�

Great, now I'm imagining that for a 45 year old guy under conscious sedation for a colonoscopy.

"Good news, we didn't find polyps or any sign of ulcerative colitis which you mentioned on your family history."
"Bulbasaur is so cool"

# ¿ Jan 20, 2024 16:25

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Timby posted:

God, that reminds me that I'm due for another colonoscopy and I really need to schedule it.

All I'm saying is I didn't pick a family history of ulcerative colitis out of thin air, I've been there: drinking laxatives and clear gatorade the night before the procedure.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2024 17:26

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Braksgirl posted:

Tell me you're single without telling me you're single.

How would you use one of those for a knot on your back? I can't reach back there.

# ¿ Jan 21, 2024 17:59

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

3 DONG HORSE posted:

at what he's watching

Is that swap.avi? lol

# ¿ Jan 26, 2024 04:10

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Cooking question for my football food friends: yesterday I roasted some pork loins, and have a good sized piece left over and still whole.
Are there any good recipes for something like this sliced thinly with a manoline? I don't feel like just having a repeat of it tomorrow, I want to do something else with it but I don't have any good ideas.

edit: the pork is already cooked if that matters

CannonFodder fucked around with this message at 22:33 on Jan 29, 2024

# ¿ Jan 29, 2024 22:22

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Ether Frenzy posted:

What do the models say about the historical success rate when giving up 27 unanswered points?

*looks at 28-3*

Uhh, not good.

At least it's not the worst choke in... wait I'm getting something on my monitor...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Comeback_(American_football)

# ¿ Jan 30, 2024 17:52

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Ornery and Hornery posted:

I love the puppy

I also love the Batman pants.

# ¿ Feb 1, 2024 20:07

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Android Apocalypse posted:

Archived footage of Fartknocker's interview
Coincidentally it will be the same vid after having this all week:

Last batch of stock made from frozen GDT chicken bones.

Looking good. I need to make some more, I've got the bones.

CannonFodder fucked around with this message at 23:49 on Feb 5, 2024

# ¿ Feb 5, 2024 23:14

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Pron on VHS posted:

Up, the dirty ends get more exposure to the cleaning forces

My dishwasher has a very shallow rack so my utensils actually go horizontal.

# ¿ Feb 9, 2024 03:23

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

It was a cool overcast day so my family did a lot of work taking down big limbs from an oak tree and clearing the debris. I did not wear a hat. I totally got a sunburn on my bald head

# ¿ Feb 18, 2024 00:32

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Fat Jesus posted:

well just imagine you drove a b double livestock truck and couldn't shower for up to 3 days at a time. At least i had fresh underwear and pants packed away, everyone in this industry smells somewhat rich. But we scub up nicely on the weekends if we get one

Cattle hauler? :stonk:

A job I would never do, I could barely stand it if I was in the downwind fuel bay from a cattle hauler.

# ¿ Feb 19, 2024 19:36

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

seiferguy posted:

Automakers completely lost the plot on EVs. They were supposed to be compact / standard cars to remove our usage of gas, but instead they're super premium cars with sub 3 second 0-60s that gently caress up the tires. Now they're getting bigger and bigger and we have a fuckin EV hummer that's as bad for the environment than a normal hummer.

I saw the Rivian electric Amazon delivery van for the first time today. That�s another place EVs will make a lot of sense, they can charge overnight when they aren�t making deliveries. That, and other work vans for like plumbers and electricians where they don�t drive all that far every day.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2024 21:07

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

General Dog posted:

I stretched the truth, "Judge" is just her title and not her first name. Rated 2 pinnochios

Aww, I was hoping for someone wanting to go on adventures with Axel Foley.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BL-A8GWyYAA

# ¿ Mar 6, 2024 20:11

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

wandler20 posted:

Lol what the hell. Don't do it Mike.

https://twitter.com/MikeTyson/status/1765742308929200141?t=GjjPMEgjKGYwNtXnMdu4tQ&s=19

Do it Mike.

Take his head off.

# ¿ Mar 7, 2024 17:04

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

General Dog posted:

Mike�s old as poo poo, this is likely to be a pretty sad exhibition.

Mike's just gotta get one clean hit.

But yeah, he's 57. I just want him to knock Jake Paul out, but that's what I want to happen, doesn't mean it will happen.

# ¿ Mar 7, 2024 19:26

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Leperflesh posted:

I thought I was "fiscally conservative but socially liberal" in high school and so I thought that meant I was a libertarian. In college I met a couple of libertarians and listening to a few of their rants convinced me I might not be sure where I was on the political spectrum, but I was definitely 100% not sharing space with those people.

It turns out what I meant by "fiscally conservative" was just "our tax money should be spent wisely, like, on social services, supporting the arts and sciences, protecting our national parks, etc; not on the military or on corporate welfare or on pork barrel poo poo for corrupt politicians to pander to their base" which is not Conservative at all haha.

Yeah, for a while I was the "Government should stay out of our lives! Get the government out of the bedroom (LGBT issues)! What I do at home is my own business (cannabis issues)! We need less regulations! (man I dunno, just general ACAB thoughts)" kinda guy.

I still am, but coming from the other direction. And I left that idea before I found out about the whole Libertarian Pedo connection.

wandler20 posted:

Do it! If I didn't live in ND I'd look pretty hard at the truck.

Yeah, super cold weather really hurts EVs. Even if you leave it plugged in to a 240v / 30a outlet and have it warm up the car on a schedule, you will still get crappy range compared to living in mild areas.

CannonFodder fucked around with this message at 20:17 on Mar 7, 2024

# ¿ Mar 7, 2024 20:14

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Pain of Mind posted:

It does not even need to be super cold, even 40-50 degrees knocks the battery down 25% or so for my car.

Cold knocks it down, ND cold under 0F temps REALLY hurt EVs. Batteries just don't like super cold (or super hot for EVs in Arizona)

Also, if I turn on the heat it drops the range by 15%, but if I just bundle up and wear gloves I'm fine in 30F weather without the heat. I have experienced negative F weather and that is just a different deeper kind of cold.

# ¿ Mar 7, 2024 20:35

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

kiimo posted:

I will never forget watching the episode of Space Ghost with Thom Yorke and knifin around cut cut cut cut cut when I was just high to bejesus in college and laughing so hard I thought I injured my stomach

or Santa making bizarre and twisted toys out of human teeth for his own amusement.

or just...Bjork in general

Knifing around and Flipmode were genius that year. SGCTC was a gem.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2024 20:18

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Silly Burrito posted:

Please, let he or she who has not heard that from their spouse in the bedroom cast the first stone.

I've never heard that from a spouse :smaug:

I will never know love :smith:

# ¿ Mar 10, 2024 23:37

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

LeeMajors posted:

I had the biggest crush on her when I was little because my parents apparently thought Howard the Duck was a kids movie.

She was also awesome in BTTF and Caroline in the City.

# ¿ Mar 11, 2024 22:10

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Silly Burrito posted:

drat, that was seriously funny. If they come to your city, buy a ticket. I don�t think I�ve laughed that hard in a long time. Highly recommended.

Who does the Drew part?

# ¿ Mar 12, 2024 03:29

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

BlindSite posted:

My favourite deep dives is the dumb ideas to deploy nuclear weapons in the 50s and 60s. Gimme my nuclear mortars.

What if we extended the Mediterranean Sea into Africa to a low lying basin to make a hydro-electric plant from water flowing down into said basin? And used nukes to clear the path?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qattara_Depression_Project

quote:

The core problem of the project was the cost and technical difficulty of diverting seawater to the depression. Calculations showed that digging a canal or tunnel would be too expensive. Demining would be needed to remove some of the millions of unexploded ordnance left from World War II in Northern Egypt. Consequently, use of nuclear explosives to excavate the canal was another proposal by Bassler. This plan called for the detonation in boreholes of 213 nuclear devices, each yielding 1.5 megatons (i.e. 100 times that of the atomic bomb used against Hiroshima). This fit within the Atoms for Peace program proposed by President Dwight Eisenhower in 1953. Evacuation plans cited numbers of at least 25,000 evacuees. The shock waves from the explosion might also affect the tectonically unstable Red Sea Rift located just 450 km away from the blast site. Another danger was increased coast erosion because sea currents could change in such a way that even very remote coastal areas would erode. Because of the concerns about using a nuclear solution the Egyptian government turned down the plan,[12] and the project's stakeholders gave up on the project.

# ¿ Mar 13, 2024 07:56

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

kiimo posted:

I like to breed a healthy environment of competition in my clubhouse

Will these scotch eggs bring your favor?

# ¿ Mar 17, 2024 22:17

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

TITTIEKISSER69 posted:

30-50 feral hogs incoming

Android Apocalypse posted:

NGL I wish it was safe to eat feral hogs, but since they feed off whatever (which includes all the crap runoff from farms) it's a no-go.

I do remember that goon Bushman that hunted hogs with a thermal device & a spear.

I need to watch Silent Night. Shame I missed it in the theater during the Christmas season but so it be.

There's a tabletop game that gets super crunchy with numbers called Phoenix Command, and one goon did the math for one person with an AR-15 against 30-50 feral hogs. https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3895679

It's a good read.

# ¿ Mar 23, 2024 20:01

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Silly Burrito posted:

I�m assuming the war is lost.

There's plenty of good bbq brisket in Texas. What Cornyn posted is not the good stuff.

# ¿ Apr 3, 2024 01:13

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

FizFashizzle posted:

I�ll be hanging out in western nc, surrounded on all sides, protecting civilizations psilocybin meadows.

General Fashizzle, the Georgia 21st Division has taken Franklin!

Do you answer with
1: Why?
2: Let them deal with it.
3: The poor bastards...

# ¿ Apr 3, 2024 01:46

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Black Sunshine posted:

It's pretty much Legos for adults and you get to have a PC without cheap garbage MOBOs, RAM and PSUs that will explode your poo poo because the manufacturer wanted to squeeze maximum profits while getting you to buy based on GPU/CPU alone since most people don't know any better.

Isn't there also a problem with getting a full PC shipped and then stuff gets damaged in transit? Stuff like GPU cards bending in their slots? CPU fans out of whack? Stuff that wouldn't happen with everything sent separately.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2024 22:47

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

a sexual elk posted:

2 best Satans are #2 Ray Wise in Reaper (loving underrated) and #1 Peter Stormare in Constantine

Floating down in a white suit while dripping poison from his feet was so badass

Keanu Reeves has been in at least two different movies involving Satan, Devil's Advocate and Constantine. In Bram Stoker's Dracula he was up against, well, Dracula. In the Matrix series he was up against "well not exactly Satan, maybe more like Dracula" with the Merovingian. In Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey he's up against Death. In John Wick he is Death / Baba Yaga.

He's been in a lot of good movies that sort of involve death and evil and sometimes literally Satan, that's all I'm saying.

# ¿ Apr 5, 2024 17:55

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# ¿ May 12, 2024 05:16

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Vertical Lime posted:

apparently nyc had an earthquake

it�s to them what snow is to la

in 2002 there was a small tremor in the East River in NYC, and I felt it in Queens. It was like the building went "THUMP" and that was it.

# ¿ Apr 5, 2024 18:21

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > The Football Funhouse Chat Thread of 2024: Thanks for the fart update, babe

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