OMGVBFLOL posted:

the climactic battle at the end of the world: three nerds square off in the field of battle (the parking lot of an abandoned radio shack)

their arms: a halberd, a katana, and a sensible economy hatchback. a gentle breeze blows. each waits for another to make the first move

the halberd, famed anti-armor weapon of midieval foot infantry. powerful when used to hamstring through gaps in armor behind the knees and ankles. perhaps can be used to spear the mounted knight through his steed's wind shield while still a-hatchbacked, or to hook and puncture a tire after sidestepping a charge. outranges the katana by a wide margin but at a disadvantage if the swordsman is allowed to close range

the katana, legendary hand-and-a-half sword of japanese feudal nobility. at a disadvantage for reach against the halberdbearer, and against the armor of the mounted knight. he will live or die by speed and timing

and finally, the armor. one thousand kilograms of steel, plastic, and glass formed by a tenuous working alliance between robots and the japanese, the 2014 toyota yaris would struggle against a more heavily-armored foe, but against the unarmored footsoldiers he faces today it's hard to see how the cavalryman won't come out ahead. still, the halberd has a big pointy end, and morpheus in the matrix totally took out a cadillac with a katana in the second movie

Pick posted:

trapped mouse posted:

ha ha ha. i mean wouldn't the car always win

skasion posted:

This is a way bigger scale than anything in Lord of the Rings. The Battle of the Hornburg is about 2000 men of Rohan vs maybe 10000 Uruk-hai and some number of Dunlendings. Battle of the Pelennor is about 3-4k soldiers defending the city plus 6000 cavalry under Theoden and a small force under Aragorn vs some tens of thousands of the Morgul-host. Battle of the Morannon is 6000-ish soldiers under Aragorn outnumbered (but it's not clear by how much) by the Mordor-armies. We're talking pretty modestly sized forces here, as you might expect given the general lack of central government authority, road networks, or indeed any development or habitation at all over large areas of land in Middle-earth.

Das Boo posted:

Rape is a myth made up by Star Trek fans who mistranslated the Klingon word for "immigrant."

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

How does a hopping fetish start, exactly?

Stabbatical posted:

With one foot on the ground.

Kemix posted:

Wat. Seriously. WAT? Jesus christ. Shutting down your IRC is one thing. Making god drat loving -safe spaces- to control any and all criticism is even loving worse. gently caress, that's nost just shooting yourself in the foot. That's blowing your own god drat head off in front of everyone like some sort of macabre show and tell.

queserasera posted:

The MSJ posted:

Michael Bay is making an ivory poaching documentary and one of the best Optimus Prime toys ever transformed into a mammoth. I wish these facts are connected somehow.

Action Jacktion posted:

Fafhrd and Gray Mouser was sending up sword & sorcery clichés even in the in 1940s. There's one where they discover they've been cursed by an evil wizard and Fafhrd just rolls his eyes and says "Again?"

Rogues is basically Fafhrd and Gray Mouser with a female Mouser:

Choco1980 posted:

So uh, we're all just going to ignore the third rogue in those pages then? Okay.

Action Jacktion posted:

They're trying to lift a curse that causes a chicken to follow them around.

Avulsion posted:

I can think of an easier way to break that curse AND get a free meal.

Keeshhound posted:

Are you sure you want to risk having the remains follow you around forever?

Choco1980 posted:

Nobody likes a poultreygeist.

PoultryGeist posted:

Rude!

Neddy Seagoon posted:

quote:

Since children started coming in by the shipload as refugees, the Gungan has served them, performing for the kids once or twice a day. He does tricks. He juggles. He falls over and shakes his head as his eyes roll around inside their fleshy stalks. He makes goofy sounds and does strange little dances. Sometimes it’s the same performance, repeated. Sometimes the Gungan does different things, things you’ve never seen, thing’s you’ll never see again. Just a few days ago, he splashed into the fountain’s center, then pretended to have the streams shoot him way up in the air. He leapt straight up, then back down with a splash. And he leapt from compass point to compass point, back and forth, before finally conking his head on the edge and plopping down on his butt. Shaking his head. Tongue wagging. All the kids laughed. Then the Gungan laughed, too.

The clown, they called him “Bring the clown. We want to see the clown. We like it how he juggles glombo shells, or spits fish up in the air and catches them, or how he dances around and falls on his butt.”

The adults, though. They don’t say much about him. Or to him. And no other Gungans come to see him, either. Nobody even says his name.

...

“My no so sure.” The Gungan makes a hmm sound. “Mesa thinks it cause-o Jar Jar makin some uh-oh mistakens. Big mistakens. Der Gunga bosses banished me longo ago. Mesa no been to hom in for-ebbers. And desa hisen Naboo tink I help the uh-oh Empire.”

SuperMechagodzilla posted:

Neo-EU author, in an attempt to save Star Wars from Jar Jar Binks, unwittingly recreates The Day The Clown Cried.

Alopex posted:

Why didn't Gandalf just call up those loving eagles from the start instead of dragging people around mountains and mines and losing hobbits all over?

Slime posted:

Because the eagles would steal the one ring and try and rule the world.

Piell posted:

Let Frodo ride one, that obviously works because no horse ever tried to steal the one ring

rydiafan posted:

Horses don't have sentience. The eagles in LotR are of (at least) equal intelligence with the men, dwarves, elves, etc.

Gromit posted:

Are LOTR horses some sort of robot?

Polyseme posted:

Fantasy horses are robots, yes. Well established fact.

Bar Crow posted:

Poor ol' Freckles, divided by zero and died.

The MSJ posted:

There's a new Star Wars novel that reveals what happened to Jar Jar after Return of The Jedi:

thepopmonster posted:

Powerful Two-Hander posted:

You know what? They should have had Sam swallow the loving thing then he could have poo poo it off the edge into mount doom, accidentally cleveland steamering Gollum on the way down.

Randler posted:

I'm implying that if America were a person, it'd be a middle manager who insists everything to be done in Powerpoint because he believes Powerpoint can be used for anything.

BI NOW GAY LATER posted:

We alreayd know what America would be like as a person. It's our president.

Guy Goodbody posted:

Black Manta once claimed that he hated Aquaman because Aquaman stood in the way of his plan to build an underwater utopia for black people. That was later revealed to be a lie. Black Manta has had multiple explanations for his feud with Auqaman, and they have all eventually turned out be lies. Black Manta just really hates Aquaman for no reason.

thepopmonster posted:

cynic posted:

Gandalf: Hmm gunna give these retard midgets the most powerful, evil thing ever, hope for the best *takes huge toke and blows out a smoke ring in the shape of a big ganja leaf*

Powerful Two-Hander posted:

Also horses don't have loving fingers so unless one used it as the One Cockring or something that wouldn't work now would it?

Placeholder posted:

I believe it's established that the One Ring changes its size to accomodate its bearer.

Powerful Two-Hander posted:

Also horses don't have loving fingers so unless one used it as the One Cockring or something that wouldn't work now would it?

Placeholder posted:

I believe it's established that the One Ring changes its size to accomodate its bearer.

Coffee And Pie posted:

Dark La La Land looks great

corn in the bible posted:

Only Gay Forgives

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

Someone who remembers Vietnam just knocked up someone who doesn't remember September 11th

jetz0r posted:

Horses, an animal known for their small, finger sized cocks.

Chichevache posted:

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

cakefarts lady has a rockin' rear end when she isn't blowing farts out of it

no they will not posted:

intel: Sir. Report just came in from hq. Apparently star citizen thread poster Burpo_Stephenuniverse just figured out that the 5 people all calling him a dumbass for similar reasons was actually a coordinated top secret special ops strike.
me (moving a collection of little plastic tanks across a printout of the forum index with a long stick): my god

ArfJason posted:

[series of flags by uncle wrinkles or whoever]
Classic FYAD tribes ventrillo moment #23:

• Angela Heavy leaving her mic on and hearing
  her boss at MI5 debrief about the latest operation
  to spy on some random retard from Toronto.

Nefarious 2.0 posted:

"computer end program"

*my holo-kira vanishes and a huge sticky load drops out of midair and splats onto the floor*

Jose posted:

i'm going to use less instead of fewer

rear end cobra posted:

Are you going to post fewer?

A Buff Gay Dude posted:

I'm so glad Milo is done

Elephanthead posted:

That is what the 8th grader said.

SpaceClown posted:

not anymore after the colossal fuckfest that transpired a few months ago.

the only game goons have a stranglehold on now is ss13!

oh wait lljk is dying because the dipshit admins banned greytiding. is there anything sa can stay relevant at?

Nooner posted:

no one fucks with our pants shittign game