Crocoswine posted:

white girl named Katana

Barudak posted:

Well shell probably live up to the name by being folded over hundreds of times in her life because of her poor quality ingredients.

Bobby Digital posted:

daddy anime posted:

1960s: jacking off to marilyn monroe movies
1980s: jacking off into a marilyn monroe blow up sex doll
1990s:jacking off to marilyn monroe via a fake celebrity nude photoshop blog
2010’s: jacking off to marilyn monroe with an oculus rift headset virtual 3 way with nicki minaj and laura croft
2020s: synth flesh marilyn monroe bot extremely life like singing happy birthday to you and loving you all for monthly subscription loot crates
2030s: using the old dna from marilyns exhumed corpse the jurassic park technology brings marilyn clones to every household and sewer grate in the city, pleasure at an all time high
2050s: Scavenging the remains of centuries old libraries for a projector to play the VHS tape of Some Like it Hot so that you can jack off to marilyn monroe. the synth bots and clones forged an apocolypse bringing partnership to overrun the beautiful country turned desolate wasteland you once called home. jacking off was easy then, the old saying “we used to thrive and jack off, now we jack off to survive” echoes throughout your head as you apply an anti-radiation stempack to your bleeding dick for what could possibly be your last orgasm while the vhs tape rewinds

business hammocks posted:

Is there anything pedophiles don't destroy?

Jedit posted:

Adults?

Big Mad Drongo posted:

They sure do, it just takes a while.

luxury handset posted:

dudeness posted:

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing his wife he didn't know how to make the eggs named after himself.

FELD1 posted:

How loving stupid was this dude that she actually believed he couldn't make deviled eggs?

Bogus Adventure posted:

Just a hair less stupid than his bedeviled egged wife

Ornamental Dingbat posted:

The owner of my company recently went to the Kenworth factory in Circleville, OH to inspect the first of our new fleet of trucks that we're purchasing for our mill operation in Syracuse. Since they need to be specced specifically for our needs and have to fall within specific length and weight tolerances, the trucks run around $140,000 apiece.

When he got to Circleville, he got a surprise- the first truck in the order wasn't rolling off the line but the 50th was- the first 49 were already being shipped to Syracuse. We scaled it, and the weight was perfect, measured the frame and discovered that the first 50 trucks that they produced were 8" too long.

I think the only option now is to chop up the frames and shorten the length of the bodies- but that's Kenworth's problem to figure out. Either way it's a multi million dollar mistake.

BrianBoitano posted:

Trump only had to pay $130k, but that was only a 4" mistake, so

Fauxtool posted:

chitoryu12 posted:

I was sad to find out that the Samuel Adams owner is pro-Trump.

I think you will find that most people have a political leaning, products however usually dont. To condemn a whole company comprised of many many people of varied beliefs because of the owner is short sighted and says more about you than him. Not you specifically, the general "you"

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

Yuengling's owner is a union-busting Republican CHUD, sadly.

they also make delicious racist ice cream

Fauxtool posted:

Platystemon posted:

If you don’t want to be hurt by anti‐racist boycotts, don’t work for a racist.

Exactly, if you dont want to be raped, dress conservatively. If you dont want to be deported dont enter illegally.
Its all so black and white, i wish I had known about this sooner

rehysrehes posted:

haha but u werent expecting me to wear plaid to court for a 2nd time were you u stupid bitch

china bot posted:

this?:

Improbable Lobster posted:

Picnic Princess posted:

Expecting business owners to view all their potential customers as equal human beings is the same as raping their employees in TYOOL 2018.

MrJacobs posted:

Well thats just stupid, they will totally prioritize the people with money no matter what. There is no way they will truly treat everyone as equal human beings even with regulations.

somekindofguy posted:

I checked the thread for context, and...it's a trip

How is it the context makes me understand less?

Zamboni_Rodeo posted:

Forget it, Jake. It's DARE.

Zamboni_Rodeo posted:

Forget it, Jake. It's FYAD.

Chuck Buried Treasure posted:

That’s Dare, the mentally chill guy who thinks everyone in FYAD are people he knows irl and that they all live in the same house in Toronto together where they play Tribes when they’re not scheming to falsely accuse Dare of rape

Chuck Buried Treasure posted:

Dare, the mentally chill guy

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

As for the balls thing, I have heard that it is possible, with training, to suck up yr nuts. I imagine a smooth and lubricated taint would fool a man drunk enough on love and confused enough about female anatomy in general.

Zil posted:

Choco1980 posted:

Supposedly the real life case of a French ambassador having an affair with a Chinese spy that inspired the film "M. Butterfly" had this be the case. At least, that's what the Chinese guy claimed.

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

Poor ol' Don Rosa, his lifelong dream was to make a living drawing Uncle Scrooge comics and when he finally achieved that he had to give it up because the publishers kept loving him over by refusing to return his original art (the pay was poo poo but he would have been able to pull through by selling off his pages to collectors) and not paying him royalties when they reprinted the comics. When he finally cut a new deal with some European publishers his eyesight crapped out on him and he had to quit again because he was too blind to draw.

Aphrodite posted:

Scrooge. Huey. Dewey. Louie.

And the best part, the very best part? There's time now. There's all the time I need. All the time I want. There's enough time at last.

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

If you're interested in the Boursicot/Shi Pei Pu affair, I honestly can't recommend M. Butterfly enough.

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

If you're interested in the Boursicot/Shi Pei Pu affair, I honestly can't recommend M. Butterfly enough. The play, not the movie (I really didn't like the movie very much, but I saw the play first and re-read it before I saw the movie, so YMMV.)

The nonfiction book Liaison is also good for informational reasons, but Hwang is a better writer than Joyce Wadley.

Former DILF posted:

If you don’t believe in sorcery and magic you’re living in a fantasy land my friend

Absurd Alhazred posted:

*sound of shattering lenses*

McSpanky posted:

Got date raped into a cult, gonna stick around and see where this goes

Tree Goat posted:

there's lots of scenarios where they cancel the simpsons, it's very easy to envision:

1) one of the few tribes scrounging for food in the last few arable pieces of land in the american wastelands is insufficiently vigilant in purifying their water, and the elders succumb to cholera. they did not specify a lore-keeper before this calamity and so the long oral tradition of the tribal simpsons-speaker, an unbroken chain of voice actors dating back to before the cataclysm, is forever severed.

2) a flaw in the central machine of the self-aware disney entertainment system causes an unstable feedback loop in the neural circuitry that imprisons the cast and crew in their statis pods. while its system of thought is entirely alien to ours, this malfunction creates a pattern of behavior that is somewhat analogous to the human notion of mercy. in the brief seconds before the error-correction and redundancy systems restore the status quo, the DES permits the cast the ultimate freedom: the freedom to die.

3) the last gasp of a super-massive dying star releases a gamma ray burst that bathes our planet in purifying radiation and we, the simpsons included, are snuffed out like a match on a windy day.

A Fancy Hat posted:

My cousin, about a decade ago, decided to go completely off the grid and live on his own as some kind of survivalist. Unfortunately, he's always been a huge screwup without an ounce of common sense. He had inherited a cabin from his grandfather and moved out there. No water, no electricity, no heat. He told his immediate family that he'd been training for this and was 100% prepared to survive on his own. He drove his car up the cabin (in case of emergencies he said) and cut off all contact.

9 days later he was caught rummaging in the dumpster of a Pizza Hut about 5 miles away from his lovely cabin. He had taken a bunch of dry cereal and veggies up to the cabin, and that was ALL he had to eat. He had no luck hunting or fishing or even foraging for vegetables or fruit. After the cops shooed him off from the Pizza Hut he ended up driving to his Mom's house, moving back in, and that's where he still lives to this day.

He still talks about how amazing the time was and how it opened his mind to "the real world". He gloats about how nobody else in the family could have survived like he did, and that he proved he was the alpha male of the family.

Jim Barris posted:

drat, Henry David Thoreau is your cousin?

Applesnots posted:

I want some Indian goat curry pizza now. With mozzarella. Goat mozzarella. With olives.

Code Jockey posted:

Goat olives.

fool_of_sound posted:

Lmao that makes me want to read Muerte's 'walk across the country' thread again